Posts
June 26, 2012
Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
Democratic National Committee
430 S. Capitol Street
Washington, DC 20003
RE: Godfrey Daniel! Don’t do that to me again.
Debbie, Debbie,
Crikey!
I woke up yesterday to see a headline screaming, “Debbie slams Florida”. I know we’ve disappointed you from time to time. I know you, as a modern American Liberal, have to discipline us from time to time. Then I found out it was a tropical storm.
Anyway, today’s campaign tip involves David Axelrod, gun control, drowning polar bears, and GlobalCoolingGlobalWarmingClimateChange.
I’ll bet you never knew I was in the coal business. The quintessential fossil fuel. I have been underground in Kentucky and West Virginia. I still have some friends in the business.
Herewith today’s modest proposal.
Let me bring David Axelrod to coal country. After we wash down some Moon Pies with RC Cola we’ll go underground. Not into one of those girly man coal mines with a 10 foot ceiling. 60 inches is about right. The only way you can stand up is if your name is Toulouse-Lautrec. Roof bolts, continuous mining machines, and some unsuspecting canaries.
After work he’ll be able to explain his views on life without the 2nd Amendment to guys with dirty faces, pick-up trucks with NRA decals, and some very pronounced views on the subject. I’ll try to interpose myself between him and some of the more vocal “bitter clingers”. GlobalCoolingGlobalWarmingClimateChange, a real winner, will be the next topic.
You may find this hard to believe but polar bears are very popular animals in Appalachia. The name ranks 3rd on the list of most popular high school nick-names in coal country. Any news of them drowning is a bummer. The way to save them is surprisingly simple.
Follow the bouncing ball.
50% of the electricity generated in this country comes from burning coal. 50% of that electricity is used to power A/Cs. Let’s, gulp, turn them off. If we do that we won’t need coal. The symbolism of turning off the A/C in Congress will be powerful. The sting of unemployment will be off-set by the warm and fuzzy glow you get when you save a drowning polar bear. The only loser here will be the baby seal world but somebody has to draw the short straw in this Zero Sum game, right? I mean Think Globally Act Locally has to start somewhere, right? Once we get rid of the stigma of giving selfish Americans a ginormous carbon footprint by getting rid of the ginormous carbon footprint we’ll turn the place into Silicon Valley East. An interim step would be to turn the abandoned coal towns into phone centers for the Indian electronics and software industry.
[Not Elizabeth Warren Indian but, rather, Gung Din Indian]
The fundamental transformation of a nation is never easy. He may have to spend some time with the snake handling crowd but with his certain style, that special grace, his Cary Grant/Jack Kennedy panache he’ll win them over.
Yesterday was the anniversary of Custer getting the chop. I was worried that Elizabeth Warren, known as Princess SummerFallWinterLiar to her friends, was going to kill the first White man she saw with blue eyes and long blond hair. After she killed him she was going to scalp him and then cut his heart out and eat it. Thank God she was rehearsing to be Barney Frank’s Maid of Honor!
Tomorrow I’ll tell you how to turn “Fast and Furious” into a plus.
Kevin Smith
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Leonard Pitts, Jr. The Miami Herald
June 27, 2012
Leonard Pitts, Jr.
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 33132-1693
RE: “What Romney should say to the NAACP convention” – A comment or two on your column in today’s Miami Herald.
Mr. Pitts,
The Dream Team, the Dream Act, and now the Dream Speech, a speech that you would like to hear candidate Romney give to the NAACP.
3 things:
#1 – “Under the failed ‘War on Drugs’, young men from your communities have been incarcerated at rates that are a national scandal.”
May I ask, and by so doing still avoid the Scarlet R so quickly given to those who dissent from settled wisdom, if these young men are incarcerated because of the law or because they broke the law?
#2 – “In this very day we see members of my party seeking to gut the Voting Rights Act and are questioning the legality of the Civil Rights Act.”
It is a dirty little secret, a secret propelled down the memory hole of “eclectic indignation” at a speed equal to the Pioneer space probe that if it weren’t for Republican votes neither of those bills would have become law.
Senator Russell [D-GA], Senator Stennis [D- MS], and Senator Ervin [D-NC] had many things in common. Chief among them was the life long fight to keep Black kids from going to school with White kids.
Senator Russell has the Senate office building named after him. Senator Stennis has an aircraft carrier [CVN74] named after him. Senator Ervin, a man known for his collection of lawn jockeys, earned a perpetual indulgence from the modern American Liberals who dispense such things because of his successful pursuit of the hated Nixon.
Let me add the name of Senator J. William Fullbright [D-AR] to the list. He had an intern named William Jefferson Blyth Clinton from Hot Springs working in his state office. It is known if Handsome Billy began his up close and personal training to become the first Black President during his time with this racist Senator.
None of these men – Democrats all – ever saw a civil rights bill they could vote for. Never.
#3 – “In 1994, when Jeb Bush was running for Governor, someone asked him what he would do for black voters if elected. ‘Probably nothing,’ he said.”
What should he have said or done?
Should he have pardoned all Black prisoners convicted of drug crimes?
Should he have prevented the Navy from berthing the Stennis at any Florida port?
Should he have told any Senate candidates that unless they swore to forgo residence in the Russell building he would oppose them?
The political conundrum of the civil rights program is that, like the horizon, it is unreachable. Rights are not given by governments. They are ours, “from beyond the stars”. I add with the obligatory caveat that while the American Constitution is not perfect it is still the envy of the world. Its genius is its 2 part division. The first part spells out precisely what government can do. The second part spells out precisely what government cannot do.
Constitutions routinely call for equal protection under the law.
If Governor Bush “did” something for Black voters which group of non-Black voters would he have to do something to? Life, we are told, is a Zero Sum game. Modern American Liberals insist that the proper role of government is to cut the static pie “fairly”, with “fairly” never being defined save by the word “more”.
Candidate Obama told us that he wants to “spread the wealth around”.
It is devoutly to be wished that Governor Romney would include in his speech the following comments.
“It is agonizingly self-evident that President Obama has no idea, none whatsoever, of how to “create” wealth The idea that it becomes exponentially easier to spread something around that is increasing in volume is alien to him. I may borrow from him the idea of selectively enforcing laws or making them up on a du jour basis. I will immediately suspend the minimum wage laws for urban areas where the teenage rate of unemployment is double the national average. If a group of people is unemployable at $10 an hour why will they become more valuable to a prospective employer if their starting mandatory wage is $15 an hour? Further, I will sign an Executive Order in the limo back to the White House suspending the Davis-Bacon Act. It was/is the most anti-Black Federal legislation passed in the 20th century. It was the spawn of Southern Democrats in an unholy alliance with Northern Republicans. Its birth was mid-wifed by FDR.”
“Should voting be easier than picking up a package at the Post Office? Should voting be easier than getting some gin or cigarettes? Should voting be easier than giving blood? Should voting be easier than getting into a Federal building? Should voting be easier than getting married? Should voting be easier than cashing a check? Should voting be easier than getting admitted to a hospital? If you or any non-White group had invited me to lunch I would have insisted on you keeping your knives and forks, plastic or sterling, even though you had to show a photo ID to get in.”
“The Democratic Party, by its pandering to its special interest groups, is judged on its intentions. Never on results. Results don’t count. We have been officially fighting poverty for 48 years. The battlefield is littered with casualties. What it is not filled with are victories. If we use 1964 as a starting point every single measurable economic statistic is worse, particularly for people at this convention. This time we have a different set of rules. President Obama said in 2009 that if hadn’t done his job by 2012 he should be a one term President. I would like you to help me help him keep his word.”
As we enter the 3rd Summer of Recovery let me say, Thank You, and
God Bless America!
Kevin Smith
Leonard Pitts, Jr.
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 33132-1693
RE: “What Romney should say to the NAACP convention” – A comment or two on your column in today’s Miami Herald.
Mr. Pitts,
The Dream Team, the Dream Act, and now the Dream Speech, a speech that you would like to hear candidate Romney give to the NAACP.
3 things:
#1 – “Under the failed ‘War on Drugs’, young men from your communities have been incarcerated at rates that are a national scandal.”
May I ask, and by so doing still avoid the Scarlet R so quickly given to those who dissent from settled wisdom, if these young men are incarcerated because of the law or because they broke the law?
#2 – “In this very day we see members of my party seeking to gut the Voting Rights Act and are questioning the legality of the Civil Rights Act.”
It is a dirty little secret, a secret propelled down the memory hole of “eclectic indignation” at a speed equal to the Pioneer space probe that if it weren’t for Republican votes neither of those bills would have become law.
Senator Russell [D-GA], Senator Stennis [D- MS], and Senator Ervin [D-NC] had many things in common. Chief among them was the life long fight to keep Black kids from going to school with White kids.
Senator Russell has the Senate office building named after him. Senator Stennis has an aircraft carrier [CVN74] named after him. Senator Ervin, a man known for his collection of lawn jockeys, earned a perpetual indulgence from the modern American Liberals who dispense such things because of his successful pursuit of the hated Nixon.
Let me add the name of Senator J. William Fullbright [D-AR] to the list. He had an intern named William Jefferson Blyth Clinton from Hot Springs working in his state office. It is known if Handsome Billy began his up close and personal training to become the first Black President during his time with this racist Senator.
None of these men – Democrats all – ever saw a civil rights bill they could vote for. Never.
#3 – “In 1994, when Jeb Bush was running for Governor, someone asked him what he would do for black voters if elected. ‘Probably nothing,’ he said.”
What should he have said or done?
Should he have pardoned all Black prisoners convicted of drug crimes?
Should he have prevented the Navy from berthing the Stennis at any Florida port?
Should he have told any Senate candidates that unless they swore to forgo residence in the Russell building he would oppose them?
The political conundrum of the civil rights program is that, like the horizon, it is unreachable. Rights are not given by governments. They are ours, “from beyond the stars”. I add with the obligatory caveat that while the American Constitution is not perfect it is still the envy of the world. Its genius is its 2 part division. The first part spells out precisely what government can do. The second part spells out precisely what government cannot do.
Constitutions routinely call for equal protection under the law.
If Governor Bush “did” something for Black voters which group of non-Black voters would he have to do something to? Life, we are told, is a Zero Sum game. Modern American Liberals insist that the proper role of government is to cut the static pie “fairly”, with “fairly” never being defined save by the word “more”.
Candidate Obama told us that he wants to “spread the wealth around”.
It is devoutly to be wished that Governor Romney would include in his speech the following comments.
“It is agonizingly self-evident that President Obama has no idea, none whatsoever, of how to “create” wealth The idea that it becomes exponentially easier to spread something around that is increasing in volume is alien to him. I may borrow from him the idea of selectively enforcing laws or making them up on a du jour basis. I will immediately suspend the minimum wage laws for urban areas where the teenage rate of unemployment is double the national average. If a group of people is unemployable at $10 an hour why will they become more valuable to a prospective employer if their starting mandatory wage is $15 an hour? Further, I will sign an Executive Order in the limo back to the White House suspending the Davis-Bacon Act. It was/is the most anti-Black Federal legislation passed in the 20th century. It was the spawn of Southern Democrats in an unholy alliance with Northern Republicans. Its birth was mid-wifed by FDR.”
“Should voting be easier than picking up a package at the Post Office? Should voting be easier than getting some gin or cigarettes? Should voting be easier than giving blood? Should voting be easier than getting into a Federal building? Should voting be easier than getting married? Should voting be easier than cashing a check? Should voting be easier than getting admitted to a hospital? If you or any non-White group had invited me to lunch I would have insisted on you keeping your knives and forks, plastic or sterling, even though you had to show a photo ID to get in.”
“The Democratic Party, by its pandering to its special interest groups, is judged on its intentions. Never on results. Results don’t count. We have been officially fighting poverty for 48 years. The battlefield is littered with casualties. What it is not filled with are victories. If we use 1964 as a starting point every single measurable economic statistic is worse, particularly for people at this convention. This time we have a different set of rules. President Obama said in 2009 that if hadn’t done his job by 2012 he should be a one term President. I would like you to help me help him keep his word.”
As we enter the 3rd Summer of Recovery let me say, Thank You, and
God Bless America!
Kevin Smith
Monday, June 25, 2012
Chris Cillizza The Washington Post
June 25, 2012
Chris Cillizza
The Washington Post
1150 15th Street NW
Washington, DC 20071
RE: Congratulations on the Romney editing bit.
Mr. Cillizza,
After watching your TV performance with Andrea Mitchell, and if there is a less gracefully aging Hecate in journalism I am not aware of her, I must break a long standing rule.
Unlike Lord Barack the Benificent’s selectively subjective enforcement of laws I can pick and choose which laws to obey and which laws to ignore for a simple reason: I own them. I get to pick and choose who gets them and when.
Accordingly, I name you
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
POMPOUS FART OF THE MONTH
SMARMY BASTARD OF THE YEAR
It is, as Curly Biden, the best Vice President we have, said, “a big fucking deal”. And no, Washington Post alumna Janet Cook never won them.
Kevin Smith
Chris Cillizza
The Washington Post
1150 15th Street NW
Washington, DC 20071
RE: Congratulations on the Romney editing bit.
Mr. Cillizza,
After watching your TV performance with Andrea Mitchell, and if there is a less gracefully aging Hecate in journalism I am not aware of her, I must break a long standing rule.
Unlike Lord Barack the Benificent’s selectively subjective enforcement of laws I can pick and choose which laws to obey and which laws to ignore for a simple reason: I own them. I get to pick and choose who gets them and when.
Accordingly, I name you
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
POMPOUS FART OF THE MONTH
SMARMY BASTARD OF THE YEAR
It is, as Curly Biden, the best Vice President we have, said, “a big fucking deal”. And no, Washington Post alumna Janet Cook never won them.
Kevin Smith
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Maureen Dowd The New York Times
June 24, 2012
Maureen Dowd
The New York Times
620 Eighth Avenue
New York, New York 10018
RE: Cindy Sheehan & the other guy’s mother
Ms. Dowd,
Today’s tutorial on “eclectic indignation” highlights the ability of modern American Liberals, particularly the fire breathing, card carrying kind, to overcome their perpetually pretzeled backs. It is caused by the cognitive dissonance that is required by that church of its votaries.
Cindy Sheehan, remember?
Her son was killed in Iraq. At some point in her grieving process she decided that he was killed by President Bush. She was a most persistent critic of him, trying in numerous ways to confront and harass him. The press, both wet and dry, enthusiastically supported and encouraged her. You yourself said that she “has the absolute moral right” to –A- criticize the President and –B- be exempt from any criticism. Further, you said that she must be praised for using the loss of her son to bring about hope and change.
[10 feet from where I write is a framed scroll signed by President Harry Truman. It says that “Corporal Leonard Putnam died in the service of his country on May 25, 1945 in the Pacific area”]
Here comes the other shoe.
If Cindy Sheehan “has the absolute moral right” to try to stick her thumb in President Bush’s eye, and by so doing to ensure that no other mother would have to endure her grief, would not Logic dictate that Brian Terry’s mother has the same right?
Brian Terry was a United States Border Agent. He wore a badge, he carried a gun, and he had the full majesty “of the Republic for which it stands” with him the night he was killed. In death he shares a common bond with Cindy Sheehan’s son in that they both died in the service of their country.
We mourn both their deaths. We grant grieving mothers much latitude in how they express their grief. The fundamental balance of the universe is disturbed when a parent buries a child. All we can do is extend our hand.
By the way, the “other guy’s mom is Josephine Terry.
Some very bright people in Washington, and isn’t that always how stories like this start, decided that the best way to stop guns from crossing the US/Mexican border was to, honest to God, send guns across said border to see how long it took for them to get back across the same border over which they had just been sent.
That sounds like a plan to me.
The United States government called it “Fast and Furious”.
The Attorney General testified, testified, that he never heard of it until May, 2011. Information is then released that he stopped it 6 months before he heard of it. What did he know and when did he know it has a familiar ring to it, no? When that catchy phrase had run its course the claim of Executive Privilege had the tensile strength of Bubbe’s halvah. Quien sabe, as they say on both sides of the border. We may yet see somebody “frog marched” out of the White House.
I rather think that Josephine Terry would like to visit her son’s grave – Maybe Cindy Sheehan could go with her – and tell him what happened. It may not help him but it may help them.
Can we expect a column from you saying that Josephine Terry and Cindy Sheehan are “sisters under the skin”? Can we expect a column from you saying that Josephine Terry has the same “absolute moral right” as does Cindy Sheehan?
If not, why not?
Kevin Smith
Maureen Dowd
The New York Times
620 Eighth Avenue
New York, New York 10018
RE: Cindy Sheehan & the other guy’s mother
Ms. Dowd,
Today’s tutorial on “eclectic indignation” highlights the ability of modern American Liberals, particularly the fire breathing, card carrying kind, to overcome their perpetually pretzeled backs. It is caused by the cognitive dissonance that is required by that church of its votaries.
Cindy Sheehan, remember?
Her son was killed in Iraq. At some point in her grieving process she decided that he was killed by President Bush. She was a most persistent critic of him, trying in numerous ways to confront and harass him. The press, both wet and dry, enthusiastically supported and encouraged her. You yourself said that she “has the absolute moral right” to –A- criticize the President and –B- be exempt from any criticism. Further, you said that she must be praised for using the loss of her son to bring about hope and change.
[10 feet from where I write is a framed scroll signed by President Harry Truman. It says that “Corporal Leonard Putnam died in the service of his country on May 25, 1945 in the Pacific area”]
Here comes the other shoe.
If Cindy Sheehan “has the absolute moral right” to try to stick her thumb in President Bush’s eye, and by so doing to ensure that no other mother would have to endure her grief, would not Logic dictate that Brian Terry’s mother has the same right?
Brian Terry was a United States Border Agent. He wore a badge, he carried a gun, and he had the full majesty “of the Republic for which it stands” with him the night he was killed. In death he shares a common bond with Cindy Sheehan’s son in that they both died in the service of their country.
We mourn both their deaths. We grant grieving mothers much latitude in how they express their grief. The fundamental balance of the universe is disturbed when a parent buries a child. All we can do is extend our hand.
By the way, the “other guy’s mom is Josephine Terry.
Some very bright people in Washington, and isn’t that always how stories like this start, decided that the best way to stop guns from crossing the US/Mexican border was to, honest to God, send guns across said border to see how long it took for them to get back across the same border over which they had just been sent.
That sounds like a plan to me.
The United States government called it “Fast and Furious”.
The Attorney General testified, testified, that he never heard of it until May, 2011. Information is then released that he stopped it 6 months before he heard of it. What did he know and when did he know it has a familiar ring to it, no? When that catchy phrase had run its course the claim of Executive Privilege had the tensile strength of Bubbe’s halvah. Quien sabe, as they say on both sides of the border. We may yet see somebody “frog marched” out of the White House.
I rather think that Josephine Terry would like to visit her son’s grave – Maybe Cindy Sheehan could go with her – and tell him what happened. It may not help him but it may help them.
Can we expect a column from you saying that Josephine Terry and Cindy Sheehan are “sisters under the skin”? Can we expect a column from you saying that Josephine Terry has the same “absolute moral right” as does Cindy Sheehan?
If not, why not?
Kevin Smith
Kirsten Powers USA-Today
June 23, 2012
Kirsten Powers
USA-Today
RE: So what’s wrong with “witch hunts”? – Some comments on your appearance on Bill O’Reilly’s Friday night show.
Ms. Powers,
Any ink stained wench who survived a few rounds with Anthony Weiner is OK in my book. [I can’t think of anyone who needed a beating more than he did last year but that’s a different story.] Your comments on the coming Congressional contempt citation of Fast & Furious bandleader Eric Holder led to a flashback to another upside down time.
Do you remember a book with the name “October Surprise”?
The author, Gary Sick, parlayed a parlous premise into 15, maybe 20, minutes of fame. He posited the preposterous plot that in October, 1980 Vice Presidential candidate George H.W. Bush told the Secret Service that he was going to take an afternoon off from campaigning to play tennis.
Here’s where it gets really good.
Instead of foot faults and top spin forehands he got into a Blackbird – SR71 – and flew at Mach 4 to Paris. When he got there he went to a 2 Star bistro on the Rive Gauche where he met a WOG intermediary of Ayatollah Khomeini. Over lunch, and I hope that at least one bottle of Chateau Talbot 1970 was drunk, they struck a deal that threw the 1980 election to Reagan. He then got on the plane and flew back to Andrews Air Forde Base. There are no notes of the lunch because if you think about it, it was secret. Don’t ask. There are no records of the flight.
It is probably a coincidence [Coincidence? “Yes”, said Jeeves to Bertie. “It’s like when you find a trout in the milk.”] but when the book came out in 1991 the engine of modern American Liberal retribution roared into overdrive, there being a Presidential election just over the horizon.
Speaker of the House Thomas Foley [D-WA] began a House investigation into the possibility of any “October Surprise”. His reasoning was breathtakingly clear and lucid. “Precisely because there are no facts we must have an investigation.” Honest Injun. He said that. [I say “Injun” knowing that I risk a late night raid by the dreaded Word Police because his finest public moment involved him doing “Injun” things. Democrats had not had White House Christmas Tree lighting since 1980. They jerry rigged a House lighting of a Holiday Tree. The name was non-denominational in deference to Druids and Bahai degendered obese teens. It also was to raise our AIDS awareness. The Speaker of the House, a position 3rd in line for the Presidency, took part by beating a 10 foot wide Tom-Tom to open the festivities. I hope much fire water was involved. I hate to think he would make such a horse’s ass of himself without having half a load on.] If you think I think Foley was a putz you would be correct.
As an aside, Hillary Clinton said that her husband’s alleged peccadilloes were a figment of the imagination of the “vast Right-Wing conspiracy”. Further, fame and fortune awaited the diligent reporter who uncovered this. I think Tom “The Gom” Foley” had some outside help with his Tom-Tom performance. I think Elizabeth Warren helped him perfect his rat-atat-atat timbrel solo. Fame and fortune await the diligent reporter who gets to the bottom of this. I hear that candidate Warren will kill the first blonde haired, blue eyed White man she finds on June 25th, it being the anniversary of Custer getting his well-deserved chop. Then she will scalp him and tear his out and eat it to the tune “I Am Injun Hear Me Roar”.
All of which brings me back to your appearance on TV last night.
You say the House shouldn’t investigate Toad Holder because there is no evidence. I say that House, an institution whose functions are predicated on precedent, has more than sufficient reason to investigate him. Besides, the eternal rule of tu quoque applies. It all depends on whose Gore is being oxed.
You say that the Republicans – reptiles all – are on a “witch hunt” as if it were a bad thing. What’s wrong with “witch hunts”? They work, don’t they?
They had one in Salem, Massachusetts in 1692. In less than a year the witch problem was solved. In fact, there have been no reports of witches there in 320 years. We can stipulate that that Witch Hunt worked, can’t we?
Last, dump the guy you were with last night. His persona would spoil milk. Plus, I’ve seen better looking bodies in the morgue.
Kevin Smith
Kirsten Powers
USA-Today
RE: So what’s wrong with “witch hunts”? – Some comments on your appearance on Bill O’Reilly’s Friday night show.
Ms. Powers,
Any ink stained wench who survived a few rounds with Anthony Weiner is OK in my book. [I can’t think of anyone who needed a beating more than he did last year but that’s a different story.] Your comments on the coming Congressional contempt citation of Fast & Furious bandleader Eric Holder led to a flashback to another upside down time.
Do you remember a book with the name “October Surprise”?
The author, Gary Sick, parlayed a parlous premise into 15, maybe 20, minutes of fame. He posited the preposterous plot that in October, 1980 Vice Presidential candidate George H.W. Bush told the Secret Service that he was going to take an afternoon off from campaigning to play tennis.
Here’s where it gets really good.
Instead of foot faults and top spin forehands he got into a Blackbird – SR71 – and flew at Mach 4 to Paris. When he got there he went to a 2 Star bistro on the Rive Gauche where he met a WOG intermediary of Ayatollah Khomeini. Over lunch, and I hope that at least one bottle of Chateau Talbot 1970 was drunk, they struck a deal that threw the 1980 election to Reagan. He then got on the plane and flew back to Andrews Air Forde Base. There are no notes of the lunch because if you think about it, it was secret. Don’t ask. There are no records of the flight.
It is probably a coincidence [Coincidence? “Yes”, said Jeeves to Bertie. “It’s like when you find a trout in the milk.”] but when the book came out in 1991 the engine of modern American Liberal retribution roared into overdrive, there being a Presidential election just over the horizon.
Speaker of the House Thomas Foley [D-WA] began a House investigation into the possibility of any “October Surprise”. His reasoning was breathtakingly clear and lucid. “Precisely because there are no facts we must have an investigation.” Honest Injun. He said that. [I say “Injun” knowing that I risk a late night raid by the dreaded Word Police because his finest public moment involved him doing “Injun” things. Democrats had not had White House Christmas Tree lighting since 1980. They jerry rigged a House lighting of a Holiday Tree. The name was non-denominational in deference to Druids and Bahai degendered obese teens. It also was to raise our AIDS awareness. The Speaker of the House, a position 3rd in line for the Presidency, took part by beating a 10 foot wide Tom-Tom to open the festivities. I hope much fire water was involved. I hate to think he would make such a horse’s ass of himself without having half a load on.] If you think I think Foley was a putz you would be correct.
As an aside, Hillary Clinton said that her husband’s alleged peccadilloes were a figment of the imagination of the “vast Right-Wing conspiracy”. Further, fame and fortune awaited the diligent reporter who uncovered this. I think Tom “The Gom” Foley” had some outside help with his Tom-Tom performance. I think Elizabeth Warren helped him perfect his rat-atat-atat timbrel solo. Fame and fortune await the diligent reporter who gets to the bottom of this. I hear that candidate Warren will kill the first blonde haired, blue eyed White man she finds on June 25th, it being the anniversary of Custer getting his well-deserved chop. Then she will scalp him and tear his out and eat it to the tune “I Am Injun Hear Me Roar”.
All of which brings me back to your appearance on TV last night.
You say the House shouldn’t investigate Toad Holder because there is no evidence. I say that House, an institution whose functions are predicated on precedent, has more than sufficient reason to investigate him. Besides, the eternal rule of tu quoque applies. It all depends on whose Gore is being oxed.
You say that the Republicans – reptiles all – are on a “witch hunt” as if it were a bad thing. What’s wrong with “witch hunts”? They work, don’t they?
They had one in Salem, Massachusetts in 1692. In less than a year the witch problem was solved. In fact, there have been no reports of witches there in 320 years. We can stipulate that that Witch Hunt worked, can’t we?
Last, dump the guy you were with last night. His persona would spoil milk. Plus, I’ve seen better looking bodies in the morgue.
Kevin Smith
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Friday, June 22, 2012
Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz Democratic National Committee
June 19, 2012
Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
Democratic National Committee
Washington, DC
RE: “A promise made is a debt unpaid”
Darling dearest Debbie, Debbie,
I promised, for reasons of public comity and “Can’t We All Get Along”, that I would offer you some suggestions to help you get your Boss, Bozo Barack, back to the White House.
Herewith today’s suggestions.
#1 – David Axelrod – Why have you been hiding this handsome stranger from public view? He is priceless. The more he is made available to the public the more important he will become to the campaign. Honest.
Do you remember the bar/bowling alley that Hillary Clinton went to during the Pennsylvania primary? It was the place where she downed a shot of brown whiskey. Not Chablis. Whiskey. Get Axelrod back to that place. His gregarious nature, his macho good looks, his ability to connect with the 99% will win the day for B.O. Maybe he could help them clean their guns. Maybe he could gut some fish. Maybe the sun will rise in the West. Maybe my brother the hunchback will straighten up. Get him there.
The more you get him into the public eye the easier your job will be.
Trust me.
Silly me. Don’t trust me
I know of two saloons in Democratic strongholds – Broward County and Hudson County – where the publicity that would be generated by a David Axelrod visit would be enormous. Broward County is a county so strongly modern American Liberal that if Dr. Mengele were to run in a Democratic primary he would be elected overwhelmingly because of his progressive views on abortion. Hudson County has such pride in its ancestry that they were pioneers in the belief that death is not an impediment to voting. Photo IDs, death certificates, who cares? It’s Row A - All the Way.
The one in Broward County is Grady’s on South Andrews Avenue in Fort Lauderdale. It’s known for a lot of things. Sushi ain’t one of them. Is Davey good at arm wrestling? I’ll take him there.
The one in Hudson County is in Bayonne. Boyle’s on Avenue C and 3rd Street.
I’ll have noted restaurateur and sportsman, the legendary Big Mike from Bayonne, take him there. The first time he sees clams being eaten without opening the shell might be a little disconcerting. Tell him to wear that leather jacket. There is valet parking for his Hog.
I guarantee the publicity from both visits will make the evening news.
#2 – Attorney General Eric Holder
I am sure you remember when Janet Reno began her illustrious federal career by charbroiling some 7 dozen of her fellow citizens. Who could top that?
Eric Holder, it seems, is a fast closer. The only dead guy we’re concerned with is a good guy. He wore a badge and a gun. A Federal badge. His name was Brian Terry. The details are still sketchy but more than 2 years ago he was killed with a gun that the United States Government gave to Mexican bandits to see how long it would take to get back across the border. That sounds like a plan to me. Meanwhile, Toad Carney, the flack who tells half lies and quasi lies on a daily basis announces that Eric Holder stopped the program 6 months before he had heard of it. That last bit is from Holder’s sworn testimony. Shades of Governor Dukakis not seeing the families of Willie Horton’s Maryland victims! Carney forgot the agent’s name.
Let’s stipulate that when a Democratic Congress subpoenas a Republican member of the Executive branch it’s OK. OK?
Perhaps your husband, a banker known for his use of “Oklahoma Transfer” clauses, has been on the receiving end of a Federal subpoena.
I have.
It does not say “maybe”. It does not say “perhaps”. The subjunctive is unknown to its authors.
It commands you to produce yourself and the documents [duces tecum, anybody?] by date and time certain or you will have your ass kicked.
That Congress has the “right” to summon members of the Executive branch to testify under oath and subject to the laws governing perjury there can be no doubt. Do you think that heroic Colonel North would have volunteered to show up in front of a joint House/Senate lynch mob?
You remember the 11th hour Clinton pardons, don’t you? His right to do it was absolute. I could say it was black letter law but I won’t. Heaven forefend that I should be called a racist! Because he had the right to do it didn’t mean it was right to do it.
One of the pardons was for a drug dealing murderer. He hired – Can you believe this? – Hillary Clinton’s brother to handle the negotiations. It is well to note that he, Hugh Rodham, not the felon, was the first man to be married in the White House who was later sued for child support.
Holder approved the pardon.
Another one of note involved Marc Rich. He was an original 1%er who was convicted of stealing $500,000,000. That was back when $500,000,000 was real money. He then hoofed it to Switzerland. His wife, Denise Rich, a musician of some note, personally appealed to President Handsome Billy from Hot Springs.
She gave him at least 10 private saxophone lessons. Intense ones involving breath control, tongue flicking, mouthpiece left, mouthpiece right, mouthpiece straight on, plus full use of available mandibles. Practice, practice, practice. Perfect.
Big Bill called Holder and told him to approve the pardon. Holder did.
To hell with Meet the Press! Get these two to baseball games, state fairs, horse gelding seminars, bar-b-q contests, backyard keggers, Even Joe the Plumber could go for them. Axelrod and Holder. Perfect together.
I am sorry you get bumped from your speech at Temple Israel in Miami. I am told there are a lot of “stiff necked people” there.
When does this year’s Summer of Recovery start?
You’re doing a great job. Keep it up. I’ll keep coming with more great ideas.
Kevin Smith
Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
Democratic National Committee
Washington, DC
RE: “A promise made is a debt unpaid”
Darling dearest Debbie, Debbie,
I promised, for reasons of public comity and “Can’t We All Get Along”, that I would offer you some suggestions to help you get your Boss, Bozo Barack, back to the White House.
Herewith today’s suggestions.
#1 – David Axelrod – Why have you been hiding this handsome stranger from public view? He is priceless. The more he is made available to the public the more important he will become to the campaign. Honest.
Do you remember the bar/bowling alley that Hillary Clinton went to during the Pennsylvania primary? It was the place where she downed a shot of brown whiskey. Not Chablis. Whiskey. Get Axelrod back to that place. His gregarious nature, his macho good looks, his ability to connect with the 99% will win the day for B.O. Maybe he could help them clean their guns. Maybe he could gut some fish. Maybe the sun will rise in the West. Maybe my brother the hunchback will straighten up. Get him there.
The more you get him into the public eye the easier your job will be.
Trust me.
Silly me. Don’t trust me
I know of two saloons in Democratic strongholds – Broward County and Hudson County – where the publicity that would be generated by a David Axelrod visit would be enormous. Broward County is a county so strongly modern American Liberal that if Dr. Mengele were to run in a Democratic primary he would be elected overwhelmingly because of his progressive views on abortion. Hudson County has such pride in its ancestry that they were pioneers in the belief that death is not an impediment to voting. Photo IDs, death certificates, who cares? It’s Row A - All the Way.
The one in Broward County is Grady’s on South Andrews Avenue in Fort Lauderdale. It’s known for a lot of things. Sushi ain’t one of them. Is Davey good at arm wrestling? I’ll take him there.
The one in Hudson County is in Bayonne. Boyle’s on Avenue C and 3rd Street.
I’ll have noted restaurateur and sportsman, the legendary Big Mike from Bayonne, take him there. The first time he sees clams being eaten without opening the shell might be a little disconcerting. Tell him to wear that leather jacket. There is valet parking for his Hog.
I guarantee the publicity from both visits will make the evening news.
#2 – Attorney General Eric Holder
I am sure you remember when Janet Reno began her illustrious federal career by charbroiling some 7 dozen of her fellow citizens. Who could top that?
Eric Holder, it seems, is a fast closer. The only dead guy we’re concerned with is a good guy. He wore a badge and a gun. A Federal badge. His name was Brian Terry. The details are still sketchy but more than 2 years ago he was killed with a gun that the United States Government gave to Mexican bandits to see how long it would take to get back across the border. That sounds like a plan to me. Meanwhile, Toad Carney, the flack who tells half lies and quasi lies on a daily basis announces that Eric Holder stopped the program 6 months before he had heard of it. That last bit is from Holder’s sworn testimony. Shades of Governor Dukakis not seeing the families of Willie Horton’s Maryland victims! Carney forgot the agent’s name.
Let’s stipulate that when a Democratic Congress subpoenas a Republican member of the Executive branch it’s OK. OK?
Perhaps your husband, a banker known for his use of “Oklahoma Transfer” clauses, has been on the receiving end of a Federal subpoena.
I have.
It does not say “maybe”. It does not say “perhaps”. The subjunctive is unknown to its authors.
It commands you to produce yourself and the documents [duces tecum, anybody?] by date and time certain or you will have your ass kicked.
That Congress has the “right” to summon members of the Executive branch to testify under oath and subject to the laws governing perjury there can be no doubt. Do you think that heroic Colonel North would have volunteered to show up in front of a joint House/Senate lynch mob?
You remember the 11th hour Clinton pardons, don’t you? His right to do it was absolute. I could say it was black letter law but I won’t. Heaven forefend that I should be called a racist! Because he had the right to do it didn’t mean it was right to do it.
One of the pardons was for a drug dealing murderer. He hired – Can you believe this? – Hillary Clinton’s brother to handle the negotiations. It is well to note that he, Hugh Rodham, not the felon, was the first man to be married in the White House who was later sued for child support.
Holder approved the pardon.
Another one of note involved Marc Rich. He was an original 1%er who was convicted of stealing $500,000,000. That was back when $500,000,000 was real money. He then hoofed it to Switzerland. His wife, Denise Rich, a musician of some note, personally appealed to President Handsome Billy from Hot Springs.
She gave him at least 10 private saxophone lessons. Intense ones involving breath control, tongue flicking, mouthpiece left, mouthpiece right, mouthpiece straight on, plus full use of available mandibles. Practice, practice, practice. Perfect.
Big Bill called Holder and told him to approve the pardon. Holder did.
To hell with Meet the Press! Get these two to baseball games, state fairs, horse gelding seminars, bar-b-q contests, backyard keggers, Even Joe the Plumber could go for them. Axelrod and Holder. Perfect together.
I am sorry you get bumped from your speech at Temple Israel in Miami. I am told there are a lot of “stiff necked people” there.
When does this year’s Summer of Recovery start?
You’re doing a great job. Keep it up. I’ll keep coming with more great ideas.
Kevin Smith
Jose Antonio Ocampo Nicholas Stern The Miami Herald
June 21, 2012
Jose Antonio Ocampo
Nicholas Stern
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 33132-1693
RE: “Show Leadership on Climate Change” – Some comments on your astonishingly dumb article in today’s Miami Herald
Sir,
Comfortably on the back nine of life, perhaps approaching the 18th tee, I still search for the Holy Grail, a Golden Fleece, somehow getting over the goal line of the elusive horizon, for something that will result in a tangible contribution to the mother lode of the Western Canon.
I long ago ruled out astronomy, rodeo, grievance counseling, cooking, medicine, and the cello
That means I must turn to the Dark Side.
“Attention must be paid” to cacophonous caterwauling that passes itself as science. It becomes holy writ thanks to the modern American Liberals who swallow such balderdash. It, and you, give Sophistry a bad name. It is an argumentum ad captandum from which people will die. Show enough pictures of dying birds, hunted whales, “endangered species” – humans excluded, of course - and a return to the world is flat, tomatoes are poisonous, Malthus was right, and Ptolemy still is spot on when it comes to diagramming the universe and people will shun toilet paper and return to corn cobs [used].
My last task will be to kill vampires. Over and over and over. Again and again and again. The same one. .A new one. This demon’s latest name is GlobalCoolingGlobalWarmingClimateChange. It is a trap “for fools set by knaves”.
STOP THE PRESSES!
I just heard from A. Vivaldi, my man at Stonehenge. The sun just peaked. Tomorrow it will start its backward journey. Just like it always does. Maybe next year an abundance of CO2 will make it head North. Until then we have another year of God’s bountiful blessings coming upon us.
RESUME REGULAR BROADCASTING
The first two dicks into the wringer are yours.
#1 – “Woe is us. It’s getting warmer. Worse, we did it.” I begin with a 2x4 across the bridges of your noses. Warm is good. In the right place it is great. 13,000 years ago it solved the mastodon over-population problem. About 1000 years ago there was an upward spike in temperature in Western Europe. Warmer weather meant that more land became arable. That translated into more protein. More protein meant that people got smarter. Can you see a trend starting here? Have you ever heard of the Renaissance?
Michelangelo, Da Vinci, Shakespeare, Bach, Samuel Johnson, Edmund Burke, Thomas Jefferson, nylon, penicillin, microwaves, polio vaccine, the Green Bay Packer sweep, walking on the moon and coming back with some cool souvenirs, leisure suits, SDI, Starbucks, PET Scans…I don’t think I’m making my point the hard way.
#2 – “We can make the poor richer by making the rich poorer. Everybody knows that, right”? Nit-wits as big as you are not to be found every day. You gild your own lily by saying that because “rich” people – Read 1st worlders, mostly White – like air conditioning they are destroying the planets. Worse, they don’t care.
Your re-education begins with a severe flogging using an environmentally sensitive whip. Perhaps some time at Gitmo would do wonders for you. Perhaps being strapped into a perpetual ass kicking machine might help.
I have been petitioning the Miami Herald since 1997 to turn off its air conditioning. Just open the windows. Contract with some local funeral homes for some hand held fans.
50% of the electricity generated in this country comes from burning coal. Talk about carbon footprints! If we all turn our A/Cs off we will drastically decrease our carbon footprint. Even if unintended, a direct consequence will be to save the friggin’ polar bears. It will be tough on the baby seals but, hey, nothing is perfect, right?
Upon receipt of this message I expect both of you to stop using A/Cs. Further, I expect you to avoid any rooms, cars, planes, movie theaters, French Knocking Shoppes, hospitals, or court houses that are air conditioned. If you don’t you become not just horses’ asses but hypocritical horses’ asses.
#3 – “The conference will seek an agreement among both rich and poor countries…” You run the risk of making Alpha Gump, AKA Albert Arnold Gore, Jr. look not as dumb as we know him to be.
There once was a conference limited to rich countries only. How could poor countries have navies? It produced something called the Kellogg-Briand Treaty. Nobel Prizes abounded. [It didn’t start with Gore and Obama] Its purpose was to limit both the size and weight of naval vessels. It was obvious that since umbrellas cause rain warships cause war. If rich nations could agree to limit the number and weight of war ships we could end sea battles. Salamis, Lepanto, and Trafalgar would pass into myth.
I am still trying to figure out why the navies of Japan and Germany spent 3 years trying to sink the ship my wife’s father served on. And in 2 oceans to boot. Get back to me if you can find out.
Would you think me a perpetual 1%er if I were to say that the outcome of your rich country/poor country has already been decided? A very wise man said a long time ago that “any public policy that any public policy that involves robbing Peter to pay Paul will always have Paul’s support”.
Just because they’re poor doesn’t mean they are stupid.
There appears to be no end to nit-wits, boobs, and dunces like you, who spend their entire adult lives trying to convince the unbelieving lamb that it is OK to spend the night with the lion. Yet more proof of the “triumph of hope over experience”.
#4 – “…reducing greenhouse gas emissions can be consistent with equitable access to sustainable development.” What the Hell does that mean? What is a rational adult to make of a statement like that? “Equitable”? To whom? “Sustainable”? Says who? To what?
The inmates are running the asylum.
Kevin Smith
PS – Silly me! Until Solyndra works out the kinks here is a temporary solution to the greenhouse gas problem. Bovine, porcine, and ovine eructations are beyond my ken. You two can make a quick dent in the planet threatening CO2 problem. Hold your breath. Count very slowly to 7,462. If necessary, count backwards to zero. If you need some help try a plastic bag. Over your head. Duct tape it shut.
Jose Antonio Ocampo
Nicholas Stern
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 33132-1693
RE: “Show Leadership on Climate Change” – Some comments on your astonishingly dumb article in today’s Miami Herald
Sir,
Comfortably on the back nine of life, perhaps approaching the 18th tee, I still search for the Holy Grail, a Golden Fleece, somehow getting over the goal line of the elusive horizon, for something that will result in a tangible contribution to the mother lode of the Western Canon.
I long ago ruled out astronomy, rodeo, grievance counseling, cooking, medicine, and the cello
That means I must turn to the Dark Side.
“Attention must be paid” to cacophonous caterwauling that passes itself as science. It becomes holy writ thanks to the modern American Liberals who swallow such balderdash. It, and you, give Sophistry a bad name. It is an argumentum ad captandum from which people will die. Show enough pictures of dying birds, hunted whales, “endangered species” – humans excluded, of course - and a return to the world is flat, tomatoes are poisonous, Malthus was right, and Ptolemy still is spot on when it comes to diagramming the universe and people will shun toilet paper and return to corn cobs [used].
My last task will be to kill vampires. Over and over and over. Again and again and again. The same one. .A new one. This demon’s latest name is GlobalCoolingGlobalWarmingClimateChange. It is a trap “for fools set by knaves”.
STOP THE PRESSES!
I just heard from A. Vivaldi, my man at Stonehenge. The sun just peaked. Tomorrow it will start its backward journey. Just like it always does. Maybe next year an abundance of CO2 will make it head North. Until then we have another year of God’s bountiful blessings coming upon us.
RESUME REGULAR BROADCASTING
The first two dicks into the wringer are yours.
#1 – “Woe is us. It’s getting warmer. Worse, we did it.” I begin with a 2x4 across the bridges of your noses. Warm is good. In the right place it is great. 13,000 years ago it solved the mastodon over-population problem. About 1000 years ago there was an upward spike in temperature in Western Europe. Warmer weather meant that more land became arable. That translated into more protein. More protein meant that people got smarter. Can you see a trend starting here? Have you ever heard of the Renaissance?
Michelangelo, Da Vinci, Shakespeare, Bach, Samuel Johnson, Edmund Burke, Thomas Jefferson, nylon, penicillin, microwaves, polio vaccine, the Green Bay Packer sweep, walking on the moon and coming back with some cool souvenirs, leisure suits, SDI, Starbucks, PET Scans…I don’t think I’m making my point the hard way.
#2 – “We can make the poor richer by making the rich poorer. Everybody knows that, right”? Nit-wits as big as you are not to be found every day. You gild your own lily by saying that because “rich” people – Read 1st worlders, mostly White – like air conditioning they are destroying the planets. Worse, they don’t care.
Your re-education begins with a severe flogging using an environmentally sensitive whip. Perhaps some time at Gitmo would do wonders for you. Perhaps being strapped into a perpetual ass kicking machine might help.
I have been petitioning the Miami Herald since 1997 to turn off its air conditioning. Just open the windows. Contract with some local funeral homes for some hand held fans.
50% of the electricity generated in this country comes from burning coal. Talk about carbon footprints! If we all turn our A/Cs off we will drastically decrease our carbon footprint. Even if unintended, a direct consequence will be to save the friggin’ polar bears. It will be tough on the baby seals but, hey, nothing is perfect, right?
Upon receipt of this message I expect both of you to stop using A/Cs. Further, I expect you to avoid any rooms, cars, planes, movie theaters, French Knocking Shoppes, hospitals, or court houses that are air conditioned. If you don’t you become not just horses’ asses but hypocritical horses’ asses.
#3 – “The conference will seek an agreement among both rich and poor countries…” You run the risk of making Alpha Gump, AKA Albert Arnold Gore, Jr. look not as dumb as we know him to be.
There once was a conference limited to rich countries only. How could poor countries have navies? It produced something called the Kellogg-Briand Treaty. Nobel Prizes abounded. [It didn’t start with Gore and Obama] Its purpose was to limit both the size and weight of naval vessels. It was obvious that since umbrellas cause rain warships cause war. If rich nations could agree to limit the number and weight of war ships we could end sea battles. Salamis, Lepanto, and Trafalgar would pass into myth.
I am still trying to figure out why the navies of Japan and Germany spent 3 years trying to sink the ship my wife’s father served on. And in 2 oceans to boot. Get back to me if you can find out.
Would you think me a perpetual 1%er if I were to say that the outcome of your rich country/poor country has already been decided? A very wise man said a long time ago that “any public policy that any public policy that involves robbing Peter to pay Paul will always have Paul’s support”.
Just because they’re poor doesn’t mean they are stupid.
There appears to be no end to nit-wits, boobs, and dunces like you, who spend their entire adult lives trying to convince the unbelieving lamb that it is OK to spend the night with the lion. Yet more proof of the “triumph of hope over experience”.
#4 – “…reducing greenhouse gas emissions can be consistent with equitable access to sustainable development.” What the Hell does that mean? What is a rational adult to make of a statement like that? “Equitable”? To whom? “Sustainable”? Says who? To what?
The inmates are running the asylum.
Kevin Smith
PS – Silly me! Until Solyndra works out the kinks here is a temporary solution to the greenhouse gas problem. Bovine, porcine, and ovine eructations are beyond my ken. You two can make a quick dent in the planet threatening CO2 problem. Hold your breath. Count very slowly to 7,462. If necessary, count backwards to zero. If you need some help try a plastic bag. Over your head. Duct tape it shut.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Brittany Wallman The Sun Sentinel
June 19, 2012
Brittany Wallman
The Sun Sentinel
RE: Brenda Snipes, the Supervisor of Elections, has been working out of her car for the last 9 years? Thanks for breaking that story in today’s Sun Sentinel
Ms. Wallman,
OOOPS!
Because she doesn’t have a boffo office – Do you remember the throne room built by Sheriff Ken Jenne, AKA Emperor Kenneth the Short before he went to prison? – her supporters say it is because of racism.
Apparently the Broward County Courthouse will shortly fall down from water damage, termite assault, and an embarrassingly inept judiciary. Is that proof of racism or judicial activism?
At this point I would mention that correlation is not causation. I would say something about the fallacy known as post hoc ergo propter hoc but that might label me as an elitist and a slave to DWEMs.
Perhaps we can apply the same thought process to a different social problem.
Since 1973 somewhere between 35% and 40% of the abortions in this country have been performed on Black women. A different way of saying it would be that 6% of the population has committed about 22,000,000 acts of extreme child abuse.
Would that be prima facie evidence of racism?
About 1/3rd of your article is given off to a lower case History of racism in general and in the South in particular. I am sure there is a good reason for this but it escapes me.
If lack of a splashy office is racism per se what does the absence of a majority of White ball players on the Miami Heat indicate? A level playing field would suggest at least 8 members of the team should be non Negroid? If we accept the labeling of George Zimmerman as a “white Hispanic” by the New York Times the number would be higher. If a seat is reserved for a gimpy, melanin and calorically challenged, curmudgeonly senior citizen could you put my name forward?
Proud of my Hudson County, NJ roots I secured six – 6 - voter ID cards under the glorious reign of Dr. Snipes’ predecessor, Miriam Oliphant. You may recall that she was fired by the Governor for incompetence. A case could be made for the lack of an office for Ms. Oliphant being the cause of her incompetence. Since we know that the absence of a private loo, the faulty A/C, and a couch with only 3 legs is the result of racism my six ID cards were – you guessed it – racist. The fruit from the poisoned tree and all that.
A similarity between Dr. Snipes and Ms. Oliphant is that they both have multiple degrees in something called education. Since it defies a single declarative sentence definition of what that is I can assume that it has no right angles in its structure. Mathematics, biology, romance languages, even library science has them.
Of one thing we can be 100% metaphysically positive. Neither they nor their supporters have ever encountered a Logic class.
Kevin Smith
Brittany Wallman
The Sun Sentinel
RE: Brenda Snipes, the Supervisor of Elections, has been working out of her car for the last 9 years? Thanks for breaking that story in today’s Sun Sentinel
Ms. Wallman,
OOOPS!
Because she doesn’t have a boffo office – Do you remember the throne room built by Sheriff Ken Jenne, AKA Emperor Kenneth the Short before he went to prison? – her supporters say it is because of racism.
Apparently the Broward County Courthouse will shortly fall down from water damage, termite assault, and an embarrassingly inept judiciary. Is that proof of racism or judicial activism?
At this point I would mention that correlation is not causation. I would say something about the fallacy known as post hoc ergo propter hoc but that might label me as an elitist and a slave to DWEMs.
Perhaps we can apply the same thought process to a different social problem.
Since 1973 somewhere between 35% and 40% of the abortions in this country have been performed on Black women. A different way of saying it would be that 6% of the population has committed about 22,000,000 acts of extreme child abuse.
Would that be prima facie evidence of racism?
About 1/3rd of your article is given off to a lower case History of racism in general and in the South in particular. I am sure there is a good reason for this but it escapes me.
If lack of a splashy office is racism per se what does the absence of a majority of White ball players on the Miami Heat indicate? A level playing field would suggest at least 8 members of the team should be non Negroid? If we accept the labeling of George Zimmerman as a “white Hispanic” by the New York Times the number would be higher. If a seat is reserved for a gimpy, melanin and calorically challenged, curmudgeonly senior citizen could you put my name forward?
Proud of my Hudson County, NJ roots I secured six – 6 - voter ID cards under the glorious reign of Dr. Snipes’ predecessor, Miriam Oliphant. You may recall that she was fired by the Governor for incompetence. A case could be made for the lack of an office for Ms. Oliphant being the cause of her incompetence. Since we know that the absence of a private loo, the faulty A/C, and a couch with only 3 legs is the result of racism my six ID cards were – you guessed it – racist. The fruit from the poisoned tree and all that.
A similarity between Dr. Snipes and Ms. Oliphant is that they both have multiple degrees in something called education. Since it defies a single declarative sentence definition of what that is I can assume that it has no right angles in its structure. Mathematics, biology, romance languages, even library science has them.
Of one thing we can be 100% metaphysically positive. Neither they nor their supporters have ever encountered a Logic class.
Kevin Smith
Monday, June 18, 2012
HRH Prince Charles
June 18, 2012
HRH Prince Charles
@ Queen Elizabeth – his mom
Buckingham Palace
London, England
RE: What were you thinking?
Yo! Chuckie! Listen up!
Just when I was feeling warm and fuzzy about your mom, just when your sons seem to be good and maybe great young men, just when I think your daughter-in-law’s sister has one of the greatest asses, certainly in the Commonwealth, and possibly in all of Christendom, you have to go and spoil it.
Your clap trap folderol on climate change is like never ending fingernails on the blackboard. Who is your mentor? I suspect some combination of Ned Lud and Lysenko has gotten your attention. One of my least favorite Englishman said, “I beseech you in the bowels of Christ, consider that you may be wrong”. [He also cut the head off of one my wife’s ancestors but that’s not why I write.]
I like baby seals more than I like polar bears. If those 10 foot carnivores drown so be it.
In my country we have enshrined the furbish lousewort and the snail darter in a Hall of Fame built for anti-rational Brobdanaglian boobs. I think you are one of its official sponsors.
It is far better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you are a horse’s ass than to open it and remove all doubt.
You and the missus seem to have a good thing going. I hope your dad feels better.
Unless your favorite climatologist becomes A. Vivaldi I suggest you keep your gob shut.
Kevin Smith
PS – Didn’t Westminster send missionaries to open churches in Greenland 1000 years ago? Why was it called Greenland? Did the climate change? It’s all so confusing, isn’t it?
HRH Prince Charles
@ Queen Elizabeth – his mom
Buckingham Palace
London, England
RE: What were you thinking?
Yo! Chuckie! Listen up!
Just when I was feeling warm and fuzzy about your mom, just when your sons seem to be good and maybe great young men, just when I think your daughter-in-law’s sister has one of the greatest asses, certainly in the Commonwealth, and possibly in all of Christendom, you have to go and spoil it.
Your clap trap folderol on climate change is like never ending fingernails on the blackboard. Who is your mentor? I suspect some combination of Ned Lud and Lysenko has gotten your attention. One of my least favorite Englishman said, “I beseech you in the bowels of Christ, consider that you may be wrong”. [He also cut the head off of one my wife’s ancestors but that’s not why I write.]
I like baby seals more than I like polar bears. If those 10 foot carnivores drown so be it.
In my country we have enshrined the furbish lousewort and the snail darter in a Hall of Fame built for anti-rational Brobdanaglian boobs. I think you are one of its official sponsors.
It is far better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you are a horse’s ass than to open it and remove all doubt.
You and the missus seem to have a good thing going. I hope your dad feels better.
Unless your favorite climatologist becomes A. Vivaldi I suggest you keep your gob shut.
Kevin Smith
PS – Didn’t Westminster send missionaries to open churches in Greenland 1000 years ago? Why was it called Greenland? Did the climate change? It’s all so confusing, isn’t it?
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Father's Day
June 17, 2012
As Americans, a people well suited for exceptionalism, we treat ourselves to monthly outbreaks of epidemics. Teen age obesity, crumbling infrastructure, lack of self-esteem, indifference to the plight of ungendered or degendered people, drowning polar bears…the list is endless.
A new contender is bullying.
It being Fathers’ Day I am proud to say that I solved the particular problem of my daughter being bullied the old fashioned way. I told the father of the bullyer that if it happened again I would kick his ass so hard that he would have to take his socks down to crap.
My daughter was never bullied again.
As effective as the above was we must remember, as the DWEMs of ancient Greece told us, that no number of particulars can make a universal. Texas sized ass whuppings may not be the only answer. It is one answer.
I expect Lord Barack the Beneficent to issue an executive order outlawing bullying. I rather expect that the Oval Office ukase will be overshadowed by this year’s edition of the long running Summer of Recovery series.
Any social policy that is predicated on the premise that “There is no such thing as a bad bully” is preordained to fail. I add as an émigré from Bayonne, N.J. “and rightfully so”.
I am going out at noon to buy a case of Shiner beer. As a Board Certified Expert on American beer I can tell you on a scale of one to ten it earns a consistent eight.
A “one” rating means it could be any Anheuser-Busch product, chief of which is Budweiser. In more polite company either “I have had worse” or “It’s better than no beer at all” will do.
A “ten” says that you can consume it by osmosis and IV. Patches, like stop smoking ones, are being worked on and, yes, you can take it to the grave with you.
A case of bullying, potentially life changing bullying, was solved in Shiner, Texas a few days ago.
A Shiner resident heard his 4 year old daughter screaming in terror. He rushed outside to see a 40+ year old part time employee trying to tear his daughter’s underpants off.
The father beat the man to death
I don’t know if it will deter any other bully wanabees. I do know there is a guy on a slab in the Lavaca County morgue wearing a toe tag. It sure as Hell deterred him.
It’s what fathers are supposed to do.
Get some Shiner Bock and raise a glass to this Father of the Year
Happy Fathers’ Day!
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
As Americans, a people well suited for exceptionalism, we treat ourselves to monthly outbreaks of epidemics. Teen age obesity, crumbling infrastructure, lack of self-esteem, indifference to the plight of ungendered or degendered people, drowning polar bears…the list is endless.
A new contender is bullying.
It being Fathers’ Day I am proud to say that I solved the particular problem of my daughter being bullied the old fashioned way. I told the father of the bullyer that if it happened again I would kick his ass so hard that he would have to take his socks down to crap.
My daughter was never bullied again.
As effective as the above was we must remember, as the DWEMs of ancient Greece told us, that no number of particulars can make a universal. Texas sized ass whuppings may not be the only answer. It is one answer.
I expect Lord Barack the Beneficent to issue an executive order outlawing bullying. I rather expect that the Oval Office ukase will be overshadowed by this year’s edition of the long running Summer of Recovery series.
Any social policy that is predicated on the premise that “There is no such thing as a bad bully” is preordained to fail. I add as an émigré from Bayonne, N.J. “and rightfully so”.
I am going out at noon to buy a case of Shiner beer. As a Board Certified Expert on American beer I can tell you on a scale of one to ten it earns a consistent eight.
A “one” rating means it could be any Anheuser-Busch product, chief of which is Budweiser. In more polite company either “I have had worse” or “It’s better than no beer at all” will do.
A “ten” says that you can consume it by osmosis and IV. Patches, like stop smoking ones, are being worked on and, yes, you can take it to the grave with you.
A case of bullying, potentially life changing bullying, was solved in Shiner, Texas a few days ago.
A Shiner resident heard his 4 year old daughter screaming in terror. He rushed outside to see a 40+ year old part time employee trying to tear his daughter’s underpants off.
The father beat the man to death
I don’t know if it will deter any other bully wanabees. I do know there is a guy on a slab in the Lavaca County morgue wearing a toe tag. It sure as Hell deterred him.
It’s what fathers are supposed to do.
Get some Shiner Bock and raise a glass to this Father of the Year
Happy Fathers’ Day!
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Letter to the Editor The Sun Sentinel
June 16, 2012
Letter to the Editor
The Sun Sentinel
RE: Let freedom ring!
Sirs,
Fazi Say, a citizen of Turkey who is in the first rank of classical pianists, is in jail. He is accused of “insulting Islam”.
Arthur Rubenstein said if he didn’t practice for 3 days the audience knew. If he didn’t practice for 2 days the orchestra knew. If he missed a day for whatever reason he knew. Say has been locked up for 6 months. He faces an additional 18 months should he be found guilty.
I hope I am not thought to be an insulter of Islam by saying that Turkish prisons, whatever else they are famous for, are not as best place to sharpen one’s Liszt.
As to “insulting Islam”, George Carlin is still dead and Bill Maher is more at home insulting Republicans and Christians. Don Rickles will shortly be going down the modern American Liberal memory hole. Juvenal is DWEM. Swift is not available.
That leaves me.
Let us stipulate that Islamic votaries can fly planes into buildings.
Would it be insulting to say that a roomful of Allahs surrounded by dozens Mohammed butt boys couldn’t build a plane? I hope not. Just to be safe I have canceled my trip to Troy.
The United States of America uses money raised from its taxpayers and borrowed from Mandarin moneylenders to promote a play titled “Corpus Cristi”. Its plot is simple: Christ was crucified because of a lovers’ quarrel. Judas Iscariot, his homosexual lover, became enraged over a slight. He ratted him out to the Pharisees who got the Romans to crucify Him. Even Eye-Tie operas can‘t top that. “Trousered Apes” rule.
Insulting?
Absolutely.
The author is not at Camp Gitmo because artistic works on the avant-garde cutting edge of expression are under the aegis of the First Amendment. It may be time to bring back the Fullbright Doctrine. It said that no matter how bad a nation treated its citizens as long as they didn’t pee in our soup it was none of our business.
Something must be done other than sending in Seal Team 6.
Herewith my proposal.
High noon. July 4, 2012. The steps of the Federal Courthouse on Broward Boulevard in Ft. Lauderdale.
I will wrap the Koran in some of those cartoons of Mohammed. Then, to show that I am not culturally biased as to whom I insult, I will wrap them in a distressed American flag. Next stop will be the cleansing flames of righteous fire. I will have nearby a gallon of pig piss, a commodity that is most difficult to come by, should the flames begin to look like Nero’s handiwork.
I am appealing to media types of all persuasions. I most want to be received with open arms by modern American Liberals who regard any attempt to stifle artistic expression as anathema. I want them to protect me lest some crazed WOG tries to assault me as I exercise my right to free speech.
People who play the piano, people who listen to people play the piano, people who agree with Justice Douglas when he said “We must have room for what we hate”., people who said it was OK for Nazis to march in Skokie, people who protect porn - and at what age does the pedophilia proscribtion drop off? – people who agree with Justice Black who would ask where does it say in the Constitution that you can’t do it, people like that, should rally to my cause.
Allah ain’t so great.
I seek publicity to petition for this redress of grievances.
Won’t you help?
LET FREEDOM RING!
Allow me to paraphrase Cole Porter…”I love a Mozart tune. How about you?”
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Letter to the Editor
The Sun Sentinel
RE: Let freedom ring!
Sirs,
Fazi Say, a citizen of Turkey who is in the first rank of classical pianists, is in jail. He is accused of “insulting Islam”.
Arthur Rubenstein said if he didn’t practice for 3 days the audience knew. If he didn’t practice for 2 days the orchestra knew. If he missed a day for whatever reason he knew. Say has been locked up for 6 months. He faces an additional 18 months should he be found guilty.
I hope I am not thought to be an insulter of Islam by saying that Turkish prisons, whatever else they are famous for, are not as best place to sharpen one’s Liszt.
As to “insulting Islam”, George Carlin is still dead and Bill Maher is more at home insulting Republicans and Christians. Don Rickles will shortly be going down the modern American Liberal memory hole. Juvenal is DWEM. Swift is not available.
That leaves me.
Let us stipulate that Islamic votaries can fly planes into buildings.
Would it be insulting to say that a roomful of Allahs surrounded by dozens Mohammed butt boys couldn’t build a plane? I hope not. Just to be safe I have canceled my trip to Troy.
The United States of America uses money raised from its taxpayers and borrowed from Mandarin moneylenders to promote a play titled “Corpus Cristi”. Its plot is simple: Christ was crucified because of a lovers’ quarrel. Judas Iscariot, his homosexual lover, became enraged over a slight. He ratted him out to the Pharisees who got the Romans to crucify Him. Even Eye-Tie operas can‘t top that. “Trousered Apes” rule.
Insulting?
Absolutely.
The author is not at Camp Gitmo because artistic works on the avant-garde cutting edge of expression are under the aegis of the First Amendment. It may be time to bring back the Fullbright Doctrine. It said that no matter how bad a nation treated its citizens as long as they didn’t pee in our soup it was none of our business.
Something must be done other than sending in Seal Team 6.
Herewith my proposal.
High noon. July 4, 2012. The steps of the Federal Courthouse on Broward Boulevard in Ft. Lauderdale.
I will wrap the Koran in some of those cartoons of Mohammed. Then, to show that I am not culturally biased as to whom I insult, I will wrap them in a distressed American flag. Next stop will be the cleansing flames of righteous fire. I will have nearby a gallon of pig piss, a commodity that is most difficult to come by, should the flames begin to look like Nero’s handiwork.
I am appealing to media types of all persuasions. I most want to be received with open arms by modern American Liberals who regard any attempt to stifle artistic expression as anathema. I want them to protect me lest some crazed WOG tries to assault me as I exercise my right to free speech.
People who play the piano, people who listen to people play the piano, people who agree with Justice Douglas when he said “We must have room for what we hate”., people who said it was OK for Nazis to march in Skokie, people who protect porn - and at what age does the pedophilia proscribtion drop off? – people who agree with Justice Black who would ask where does it say in the Constitution that you can’t do it, people like that, should rally to my cause.
Allah ain’t so great.
I seek publicity to petition for this redress of grievances.
Won’t you help?
LET FREEDOM RING!
Allow me to paraphrase Cole Porter…”I love a Mozart tune. How about you?”
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Michael Putney The Miami Herald
June 13, 2012
Michael Putney
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 33132-1693
RE: Buckle up! The other shoe is airborne. – Some comments on your delightful column this morning.
Mr. Putney,
Forgive me, please, for not thinking of you as I rushed pell-mell through the task of “unbooking” myself. I am told that when someone is dropped from a Twitter or a Facebook list the proper phrase is “unfriended”. I am past the limits of Ockham’s Razor. Empty shelves and dust bunnies abound.
You say that John Sullivan has “found ways to incorporate the technology of fiction into reportage”. I imagine you read the New York Times by IV each morning. You are probably running out of “good” veins. Having stopped the puzzle cold turkey on October 3, 1999 I chucked the rest of it when front page reportage in the beginning of 2003 devoted more space to the horror, the continuing horror, of there be far too many urinals at Augusta National than the upcoming war in Iraq.
Since I don’t – never – lend books Logic would dictate that I can’t borrow them either. I mention this because I have given away at least 20 copies of “A Confederacy of Dunces”. The last one went in March to an Englishman I met in a saloon in Antigua in 1979. [My uncle Adam, a canny Scot, said that “more good has come from an inn than any other invention of mankind”] I put a paper clip around the introduction written by Walker Percy. I tell reluctant donees that if they read that and are not grabbed by the more thoughtful short and curlies to devour the book put it down. Further, I tell them that if that is the case their secret is safe with me.
The other line from Percy, one that should be writ in stone, one that is transcendental, is “The road to Auschwitz begins in an abortion clinic”. It is almost Augustinian. “Love God and do what you will.”
Reading – not Googling – is the last mental pong game. One hit triggers another. Pretty soon things are popping up all over. I have been a fan of the Classics – Fan of the Classics? Hubris, no? Ah well, the Gods will sort it all out, won’t they? – for a long time. If Xanax isn’t available I suggest that a silent reading of the Iliad and the Odyssey plus a sleep mask will help you through a Pet-Scan or MRI of your skull. I realized last month that Caroline, my 10 year old granddaughter, the one who had her hair cut for “Locks for Love” when Grammy had her chemo, the one who raised $5,000 for St. Jude Children’s Hospital, knows more, far, far more about Greece and Rome than I did at the same age. I will see to it that she has a delightful summer.
My lists [enclosed] have been to Russia, China, and even New Jersey. Who knows where else? A tells B who tells C who skips over D but tells H and M. It’s like tossing a bottle with a message into the Gulf Stream. Quien sabe?
The whistling sound of “Incoming” grows louder.
On or about November 1, 1996, my second week in Florida, I tracked down Books& Books in Coral Gables. I was a regular by Christmas. I went there to pick up some poems for presents. I had a few tomes in hand when I noticed that a name was missing from the shelves. I asked where this author was. The most helpful sales lady directed me to a bearded thin man [Full disclosure demands that I announce that I too am bearded. I have no memory of ever being called thin.] I asked him, and this was before I knew him to be a champion of free speech, where Ezra Pound was. He said that it was his store and that he wasn’t going to carry that anti-Semite. Joyce, Eliot, Hemingway, Yeats. It is impossible to think of 20th Century literature without thinking of Pound. Free market devotee that I am I agreed. I walked out and haven’t been back since.
It is fitting and proper to note that Star Chamber lockups did not begin with WOG terrorists. Modern American Liberals who champion the detainees in Camp Gitmo, America’s first adult sleep away camp, have sent Pound so far down the Memory Hole that he is beginning to come out the other side. 13 years in the booby hatch without having been arrested, arraigned, tried, or convicted. Thank God we still have “eclectic indignation”. It’s better than none at all.
Nat Hentoff wrote a book titled “Free Speech for Me but not for Thee”. I mention him because he told me if I got arrested protesting a restrictive speech ordinance in Lauderdale by the Sea he would write a column about me. “That’s easy for you to say”, was my response.
Walker Percy to Nat Hentoff. Perfect together. The circle expands.
Thank you for a non-alcholic eye opener
Kevin Smith
Michael Putney
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 33132-1693
RE: Buckle up! The other shoe is airborne. – Some comments on your delightful column this morning.
Mr. Putney,
Forgive me, please, for not thinking of you as I rushed pell-mell through the task of “unbooking” myself. I am told that when someone is dropped from a Twitter or a Facebook list the proper phrase is “unfriended”. I am past the limits of Ockham’s Razor. Empty shelves and dust bunnies abound.
You say that John Sullivan has “found ways to incorporate the technology of fiction into reportage”. I imagine you read the New York Times by IV each morning. You are probably running out of “good” veins. Having stopped the puzzle cold turkey on October 3, 1999 I chucked the rest of it when front page reportage in the beginning of 2003 devoted more space to the horror, the continuing horror, of there be far too many urinals at Augusta National than the upcoming war in Iraq.
Since I don’t – never – lend books Logic would dictate that I can’t borrow them either. I mention this because I have given away at least 20 copies of “A Confederacy of Dunces”. The last one went in March to an Englishman I met in a saloon in Antigua in 1979. [My uncle Adam, a canny Scot, said that “more good has come from an inn than any other invention of mankind”] I put a paper clip around the introduction written by Walker Percy. I tell reluctant donees that if they read that and are not grabbed by the more thoughtful short and curlies to devour the book put it down. Further, I tell them that if that is the case their secret is safe with me.
The other line from Percy, one that should be writ in stone, one that is transcendental, is “The road to Auschwitz begins in an abortion clinic”. It is almost Augustinian. “Love God and do what you will.”
Reading – not Googling – is the last mental pong game. One hit triggers another. Pretty soon things are popping up all over. I have been a fan of the Classics – Fan of the Classics? Hubris, no? Ah well, the Gods will sort it all out, won’t they? – for a long time. If Xanax isn’t available I suggest that a silent reading of the Iliad and the Odyssey plus a sleep mask will help you through a Pet-Scan or MRI of your skull. I realized last month that Caroline, my 10 year old granddaughter, the one who had her hair cut for “Locks for Love” when Grammy had her chemo, the one who raised $5,000 for St. Jude Children’s Hospital, knows more, far, far more about Greece and Rome than I did at the same age. I will see to it that she has a delightful summer.
My lists [enclosed] have been to Russia, China, and even New Jersey. Who knows where else? A tells B who tells C who skips over D but tells H and M. It’s like tossing a bottle with a message into the Gulf Stream. Quien sabe?
The whistling sound of “Incoming” grows louder.
On or about November 1, 1996, my second week in Florida, I tracked down Books& Books in Coral Gables. I was a regular by Christmas. I went there to pick up some poems for presents. I had a few tomes in hand when I noticed that a name was missing from the shelves. I asked where this author was. The most helpful sales lady directed me to a bearded thin man [Full disclosure demands that I announce that I too am bearded. I have no memory of ever being called thin.] I asked him, and this was before I knew him to be a champion of free speech, where Ezra Pound was. He said that it was his store and that he wasn’t going to carry that anti-Semite. Joyce, Eliot, Hemingway, Yeats. It is impossible to think of 20th Century literature without thinking of Pound. Free market devotee that I am I agreed. I walked out and haven’t been back since.
It is fitting and proper to note that Star Chamber lockups did not begin with WOG terrorists. Modern American Liberals who champion the detainees in Camp Gitmo, America’s first adult sleep away camp, have sent Pound so far down the Memory Hole that he is beginning to come out the other side. 13 years in the booby hatch without having been arrested, arraigned, tried, or convicted. Thank God we still have “eclectic indignation”. It’s better than none at all.
Nat Hentoff wrote a book titled “Free Speech for Me but not for Thee”. I mention him because he told me if I got arrested protesting a restrictive speech ordinance in Lauderdale by the Sea he would write a column about me. “That’s easy for you to say”, was my response.
Walker Percy to Nat Hentoff. Perfect together. The circle expands.
Thank you for a non-alcholic eye opener
Kevin Smith
Monday, June 11, 2012
Gary Stein The Sun Sentinel
June 10, 2012
Gary Stein
The Sun Sentinel
RE: The continuing education of Little Stein – Does he like Dante? Swift? Has he come to grips with Antigone?
Big Stein,
When Little Stein was 9 did he become interested in music because of a dedicated, selfless, perpetually underpaid Broward County school teacher, doubtless a full blown “I Dreamt I Saw Joe Hill” union member, who still cries when somebody mentions the Triangle Shirt barbecue or was there encouragement at home?
See? I’m making you feel good about yourself with only one sentence.
My musical training took a different path.
My 9 week piano lesson semester consisted of me paying the nun at St. Mary’s in Bayonne, N.J. $1 once. I pocketed the next $8 telling the good sister that my father was sick and out of work. When the nun told my mother that the whole convent was praying for my father’s quick recovery my lessons ended. I tried the same thing with hair cut money but that too did not end well.
Anthropology suffers with the mark of Cain. It was inflicted by one of the 3 great female fakers of the 20th century. Margaret Mead spent her research time in Samoa doing the horizontal tango with the chief’s son. All the chief’s sons. In fact, all the chiefs’ sons, nephews, uncles, and 1/32 [a la Elizabeth Warren] English mutineers lined up to take a shot at her. Funny thing about looking like Yogi Berra but lacking his verbal skills. If you want your dance card to be filled you have to travel 10,000 miles. She would come back to America to write a book about noble savages that the John Dewey devotees adored. Whenever she wanted to turn her brown eyes blue she booked passage on the nearest tramp steamer.
Anthropology is an academic discipline that has no sharp edges. It lacks right angles. As such, it becomes subjective. Speaking of subjective, my plan to increase FCAT scores in Geometry and boost student self-esteem never could gain traction. All we had to do was change pi from 3.1416 to 3.0 and students would start to feel better about themselves. When the bridges start to fall down we would have a built in Summer Recovery Stimulus Plan. The brouhaha about same sex marriages and the continuing contretemps about Obamacare never would have started. Alas, I was too early.
But there is still hope for Little Stein.
I know a guy who drilled more than 100 oil and gas wells, owned and operated 7 coal mines in Kentucky, had 5 coal mines in West Virginia, and was an officer and director of a public company that owned a 100 car coal load-out facility. The best part of it was that the coal went to Turkey and Italy. None of it was burned here. A win/win, no?
His major was History.
I know a guy who reorganized a bankrupt company. The bond holders and the stock holders, unlike General Motors and Chrysler, were made 100% whole. In the process he became an expert witness on mortgages at the Federal Court level.
One of his minors was Philosophy.
I know a guy who bought a 47 film library from the BBC for American distribution. He also produced a series of tapes on basketball. He also knows that “Triumph and Disaster are 2 imposters”.
English was another one of his minors.
I know a guy who ran 2 nursing homes. He once was paid $5,000 just to have lunch. He flew the Concorde. He had a matter decided by the Supreme Court of the United States. He was in a gunfight and he testified at a murder trial. He also told his children that he would not pay for any undergraduate credits in business, save for accounting. [The MBA is an honorable degree. It is diminished by having an undergraduate degree in marketing or some such nonsense.]
I know a guy who was CFO – that’s business shorthand for Chief Financial Officer – of a public company. That means he gets to sign the annual reports and the 10Ks. [10K? SASE]
His 3rd minor was Spanish.
Since I believe that “Modesty is a very overrated virtue” I must confess that the “guy I know” is me.
Traveling with this guy is a musical grab bag.
Of course his vehicle of choice is a gas guzzling, polar bear drowning, 7 league boot carbon footprint SUV. [Since I still produce far more energy than I consume I have a pass to have my house cold enough to hang meat or warm enough to melt cheese.] I travel with everything, and I mean everything, that Mozart ever wrote. Wolfie, David Alan Coe, Rodgers & Hart, and some steel drum tunes can get me to the state line. Then I tell myself the Iliad and the Odyssey. The best one sentence definition of the Odyssey was given to me by a captive audience member at an alternative high school.
The alternative was quite simple: Listen to this curmudgeonly White guy or go to jail. “Ain’t the Odyssey the story of the dude who took 10 years to get back to his old lady”? If that’s not genius I don’t know what is. If only he had had some dedicated, selfless, underpaid Broward County Look for the Union label teacher sparking an interest in castanets he might have missed the opportunity to hear me. The other observation was how did he wind up there. The modern American Liberal answer is obvious. If only the rich had paid their “fair share” he might have become a dedicated, selfless Broward County music teacher.
Students of the Trivium know that sometimes the wheel is with you and sometimes the wheel is against you. They also know that defying the Gods is, at best, risky and, at worst, fatal.
Tell Little Stein that “Honor and shame from no condition rise”. Tell him to “Act well his part; there all honor lies”.
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
PS – I bet you thought I wasn’t going to tell you who the other 2 great female charlatans in the 20th Century were. Wrong! Margaret Sanger was one of Hitler’s favorite Americans. As much of a Nazi lover as Joe Kennedy was he never contributed to Hitler’s Nuremberg Race Laws. She did. The other one was Rachel Carson. Because her scientifically baseless claims about DDT were accepted the deaths of 2,000,000 sub Saharan Black babies every year continues. You don’t find that out in Engineering school.
Gary Stein
The Sun Sentinel
RE: The continuing education of Little Stein – Does he like Dante? Swift? Has he come to grips with Antigone?
Big Stein,
When Little Stein was 9 did he become interested in music because of a dedicated, selfless, perpetually underpaid Broward County school teacher, doubtless a full blown “I Dreamt I Saw Joe Hill” union member, who still cries when somebody mentions the Triangle Shirt barbecue or was there encouragement at home?
See? I’m making you feel good about yourself with only one sentence.
My musical training took a different path.
My 9 week piano lesson semester consisted of me paying the nun at St. Mary’s in Bayonne, N.J. $1 once. I pocketed the next $8 telling the good sister that my father was sick and out of work. When the nun told my mother that the whole convent was praying for my father’s quick recovery my lessons ended. I tried the same thing with hair cut money but that too did not end well.
Anthropology suffers with the mark of Cain. It was inflicted by one of the 3 great female fakers of the 20th century. Margaret Mead spent her research time in Samoa doing the horizontal tango with the chief’s son. All the chief’s sons. In fact, all the chiefs’ sons, nephews, uncles, and 1/32 [a la Elizabeth Warren] English mutineers lined up to take a shot at her. Funny thing about looking like Yogi Berra but lacking his verbal skills. If you want your dance card to be filled you have to travel 10,000 miles. She would come back to America to write a book about noble savages that the John Dewey devotees adored. Whenever she wanted to turn her brown eyes blue she booked passage on the nearest tramp steamer.
Anthropology is an academic discipline that has no sharp edges. It lacks right angles. As such, it becomes subjective. Speaking of subjective, my plan to increase FCAT scores in Geometry and boost student self-esteem never could gain traction. All we had to do was change pi from 3.1416 to 3.0 and students would start to feel better about themselves. When the bridges start to fall down we would have a built in Summer Recovery Stimulus Plan. The brouhaha about same sex marriages and the continuing contretemps about Obamacare never would have started. Alas, I was too early.
But there is still hope for Little Stein.
I know a guy who drilled more than 100 oil and gas wells, owned and operated 7 coal mines in Kentucky, had 5 coal mines in West Virginia, and was an officer and director of a public company that owned a 100 car coal load-out facility. The best part of it was that the coal went to Turkey and Italy. None of it was burned here. A win/win, no?
His major was History.
I know a guy who reorganized a bankrupt company. The bond holders and the stock holders, unlike General Motors and Chrysler, were made 100% whole. In the process he became an expert witness on mortgages at the Federal Court level.
One of his minors was Philosophy.
I know a guy who bought a 47 film library from the BBC for American distribution. He also produced a series of tapes on basketball. He also knows that “Triumph and Disaster are 2 imposters”.
English was another one of his minors.
I know a guy who ran 2 nursing homes. He once was paid $5,000 just to have lunch. He flew the Concorde. He had a matter decided by the Supreme Court of the United States. He was in a gunfight and he testified at a murder trial. He also told his children that he would not pay for any undergraduate credits in business, save for accounting. [The MBA is an honorable degree. It is diminished by having an undergraduate degree in marketing or some such nonsense.]
I know a guy who was CFO – that’s business shorthand for Chief Financial Officer – of a public company. That means he gets to sign the annual reports and the 10Ks. [10K? SASE]
His 3rd minor was Spanish.
Since I believe that “Modesty is a very overrated virtue” I must confess that the “guy I know” is me.
Traveling with this guy is a musical grab bag.
Of course his vehicle of choice is a gas guzzling, polar bear drowning, 7 league boot carbon footprint SUV. [Since I still produce far more energy than I consume I have a pass to have my house cold enough to hang meat or warm enough to melt cheese.] I travel with everything, and I mean everything, that Mozart ever wrote. Wolfie, David Alan Coe, Rodgers & Hart, and some steel drum tunes can get me to the state line. Then I tell myself the Iliad and the Odyssey. The best one sentence definition of the Odyssey was given to me by a captive audience member at an alternative high school.
The alternative was quite simple: Listen to this curmudgeonly White guy or go to jail. “Ain’t the Odyssey the story of the dude who took 10 years to get back to his old lady”? If that’s not genius I don’t know what is. If only he had had some dedicated, selfless, underpaid Broward County Look for the Union label teacher sparking an interest in castanets he might have missed the opportunity to hear me. The other observation was how did he wind up there. The modern American Liberal answer is obvious. If only the rich had paid their “fair share” he might have become a dedicated, selfless Broward County music teacher.
Students of the Trivium know that sometimes the wheel is with you and sometimes the wheel is against you. They also know that defying the Gods is, at best, risky and, at worst, fatal.
Tell Little Stein that “Honor and shame from no condition rise”. Tell him to “Act well his part; there all honor lies”.
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
PS – I bet you thought I wasn’t going to tell you who the other 2 great female charlatans in the 20th Century were. Wrong! Margaret Sanger was one of Hitler’s favorite Americans. As much of a Nazi lover as Joe Kennedy was he never contributed to Hitler’s Nuremberg Race Laws. She did. The other one was Rachel Carson. Because her scientifically baseless claims about DDT were accepted the deaths of 2,000,000 sub Saharan Black babies every year continues. You don’t find that out in Engineering school.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
E. J. Dionne, Jr. The Brookings Institute
June 2, 2012
E. J. Dionne, Jr.
The Brookings Institute
1775 Massachusetts Avenue
Washington, DC 20036
RE: “Pond scum”, “level the playing field”, and what is it about Massachusetts that lies get their own zip code – Some comments on the above
Mr. Dionne,
I watched you on Rachel Maddow’s show and one thought immediately leapt to mind: You were an All Star catcher on the high school bullying team. I too went to an all-boys Catholic high school. I too was on the All Star bullying team. The difference is that I was the pitcher.
I don’t know when you picked up the term “pond scum”. I first heard it from Congressman Jack Brooks of Texas. He was a limited partner of mine in an entity called Trinity Associates of which I was the General Partner. [Congressman Fernand St. Germain was also a partner] I had, still have, many Texas roots. The Congressman was the quintessential “good old boy”. Ed Rollins, GOP political consultant, was always in his cross hairs. He would begin the conversation by calling him “pond scum”. It went downhill from there.
You mentioned “level playing field” as if were sacred writ. I was expecting some other usual suspects of modern American Liberal jargon, things like like “slippery slope”, “chilling effect”, and the new favorite “fairness”. It suggests, indeed it screams, a lack of thought. Then again I did mention modern American Liberalism. Res ipso loquitur.
You fear this year’s contest will be as dirty as 1988. We all know that the low point was the racism of George H. W. Bush, as defined by Lee Atwater, about Willie Horton. Alas, the autopsy reveals something else.
We can stipulate, can’t we, that Father Flanagan’s maxim about there being no such thing as a bad boy, that it never took the measure of Willie Horton. Let the record show that the word “boy” has no racial connotation. [There was a rumor, unsubstantiated, of course, which is why it is called a rumor that Father Flanagan was 1/32 Kikuyu. How else could his favorite dish be Masai jowls with a side order of eland and wildebeest sweetbreads?]
Willie Horton is as violent a felon as Massachusetts had ever seen. Rape and murder were his specialties. Apparently Governor Dukakis, AKA Wee Mikey, thought there was no such thing as a violent felon. He gave him a weekend furlough. Having run out of low hanging fruit in Massachusetts he went to Maryland where, and I know you will find this hard to believe, he raped and murdered again. Governor Dukakis, doubtless being fitted for his tank outfit, was too busy to see the families of the Maryland victims.
I did say stipulate, didn’t I? Such is my devotion to the record that I will instantly correct any error called to my attention.
George H.W. Bush, as evil a 1%er as can be imagined, was not the person who brought this story to the attention of the American public. Senator Albert Arnold Gore, Jr, running for the Democratic nomination for President, spent much of the spring shouting it out prior to the New York primary. He later went on to fame as Vice President Alpha Gump. His later careers, that of a “sex starved poodle” and snake oil salesman for which he actually got a Nobel Prize, were not mutually exclusive.
June should be a good month for Princess SummerFallWinterWarren. It is rumored that her great grandfather had a cousin who helped kill Custer. June 25th is the anniversary of Little Big Horn. I have heard she will ride a buffalo up Bunker Hill. She will then kill the blond dyed, in honor of Custer, bison and eat his heart as an offering to Manitou.
If that doesn’t convince those dumb ass voters in Massachusetts nothing will.
It’s safe for you to have lunch today.
Kevin Smith
PS – Speaking of dirty campaigns, you may wish to become familiar with 1800, 1828, and 1876. They make 1988 look like a meeting of Swiss bankers. 2 out of 3 of them were done without electricity.
E. J. Dionne, Jr.
The Brookings Institute
1775 Massachusetts Avenue
Washington, DC 20036
RE: “Pond scum”, “level the playing field”, and what is it about Massachusetts that lies get their own zip code – Some comments on the above
Mr. Dionne,
I watched you on Rachel Maddow’s show and one thought immediately leapt to mind: You were an All Star catcher on the high school bullying team. I too went to an all-boys Catholic high school. I too was on the All Star bullying team. The difference is that I was the pitcher.
I don’t know when you picked up the term “pond scum”. I first heard it from Congressman Jack Brooks of Texas. He was a limited partner of mine in an entity called Trinity Associates of which I was the General Partner. [Congressman Fernand St. Germain was also a partner] I had, still have, many Texas roots. The Congressman was the quintessential “good old boy”. Ed Rollins, GOP political consultant, was always in his cross hairs. He would begin the conversation by calling him “pond scum”. It went downhill from there.
You mentioned “level playing field” as if were sacred writ. I was expecting some other usual suspects of modern American Liberal jargon, things like like “slippery slope”, “chilling effect”, and the new favorite “fairness”. It suggests, indeed it screams, a lack of thought. Then again I did mention modern American Liberalism. Res ipso loquitur.
You fear this year’s contest will be as dirty as 1988. We all know that the low point was the racism of George H. W. Bush, as defined by Lee Atwater, about Willie Horton. Alas, the autopsy reveals something else.
We can stipulate, can’t we, that Father Flanagan’s maxim about there being no such thing as a bad boy, that it never took the measure of Willie Horton. Let the record show that the word “boy” has no racial connotation. [There was a rumor, unsubstantiated, of course, which is why it is called a rumor that Father Flanagan was 1/32 Kikuyu. How else could his favorite dish be Masai jowls with a side order of eland and wildebeest sweetbreads?]
Willie Horton is as violent a felon as Massachusetts had ever seen. Rape and murder were his specialties. Apparently Governor Dukakis, AKA Wee Mikey, thought there was no such thing as a violent felon. He gave him a weekend furlough. Having run out of low hanging fruit in Massachusetts he went to Maryland where, and I know you will find this hard to believe, he raped and murdered again. Governor Dukakis, doubtless being fitted for his tank outfit, was too busy to see the families of the Maryland victims.
I did say stipulate, didn’t I? Such is my devotion to the record that I will instantly correct any error called to my attention.
George H.W. Bush, as evil a 1%er as can be imagined, was not the person who brought this story to the attention of the American public. Senator Albert Arnold Gore, Jr, running for the Democratic nomination for President, spent much of the spring shouting it out prior to the New York primary. He later went on to fame as Vice President Alpha Gump. His later careers, that of a “sex starved poodle” and snake oil salesman for which he actually got a Nobel Prize, were not mutually exclusive.
June should be a good month for Princess SummerFallWinterWarren. It is rumored that her great grandfather had a cousin who helped kill Custer. June 25th is the anniversary of Little Big Horn. I have heard she will ride a buffalo up Bunker Hill. She will then kill the blond dyed, in honor of Custer, bison and eat his heart as an offering to Manitou.
If that doesn’t convince those dumb ass voters in Massachusetts nothing will.
It’s safe for you to have lunch today.
Kevin Smith
PS – Speaking of dirty campaigns, you may wish to become familiar with 1800, 1828, and 1876. They make 1988 look like a meeting of Swiss bankers. 2 out of 3 of them were done without electricity.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Letter to the Editor The Sun Sentinel
June 3, 2012
Letter to the Editor
The Sun Sentinel
RE: “Stifle” – Memories of Edith Bunker leap to mind but I shall beat them back – Some comments on your editorial of 5/30/12 entitled “Wrong to Stifle Wasserman Schultz”.
Sirs,
If, as you say editorially, if it is ”wrong to stifle Wasserman Schultz” as you imply Temple Israel did by canceling her speech because a big contributor objected, would not Logic dictate that it would be wrong for her to try to “stifle” anyone? She is by the standards pronounced in the Sullivan case [newspapers, remember?] as public a person as can be imaginable. Moreover, the “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune” should fall like gentle rain from her toughened hide, shouldn’t it?
The day abounds with “teachable moments”.
Welcome to the world of Constitutional History.
The First Amendment is as clear as a straight up, bone dry Tanqueray martini. “Congress shall make no law…” cannot be stretched to read “Temple Israel shall make no law…” The monitum, “make no law”, cannot even be extended to the Sun Sentinel. Although you are a company operating under the aegis and gimlet eye of a Federal Bankruptcy Judge he can neither make you print something nor can he prohibit you from printing something.
In the case of the temple why should you be shocked if a major contributor objects to her speaking? It’s his money and since I assume he is in possession of a working yiddishe kup why should he stand by and subsidize the rantings of a mad woman? I believe he asked for equal time. When that was denied he said he was gone. It certainly got their attention. I don’t know what part of the Talmud where “Whose wine I drink whose song I sing” is but that’s the way the real world works. If other members object to this I am sure there are other shuls that will gladly welcome them
At my daughter’s reception following her wedding I banned light beer in general and all Anheuser Busch products in particular. When asked why I said because it was my party. “OK”, said the manager.
If you can imagine a more “stifling” experience than to have 2 men, men with badges, guns, and the full majesty of the law, knock on your door and say that they want to “discuss” what I had written about and to then Florida legislator Debbie Wasserman Schultz, AKA Little Debbie, please share it with me.
On September 18, 2001 Agent Thomas and Agent Mineva of the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, came to “talk” to me about my writings.
I can never keep it straight.
Which came first? The chilling effect or the slippery slope?
One of the lasting benefits of being born and raised in Bayonne, NJ is that you know that there are no lost episodes of The Honeymooners or the long time running hit, Good Cop/Bad Cop.
Agent Thomas told me “loved” my letters. Further, he said that everyone in his office “loved” them too. When I asked Agent Mineva, “leading the witness” would best describe it, if I should stop writing to Little Debbie he quickly answered “Yes”. He then said, and my hand is raised to God, “it would be better for all if I stopped writing to all public officials”.
Little Debbie doesn’t like to be reminded that she is the paradigmatic template, as good a modern American Liberal bit of Sophistry as can be found in the mAL dictionary, of a horse’s ass. In her case I’ll make it mare’s ass.
Mel Brooks was right when his royal character in “History of the World” looks at the camera and says, “It’s good to be King”. Gender concessions are allowed. Little Debbie then sends 2 policemen to my house, effectively making them her “piss boys”, to “stifle” me.
It is tough being a policeman. We ask them to shield us from the more feral occupants of society. We ask them to operate under rules that favor the culprit rather than the constable. We tsk our tongues when they prove human.
Little Debbie says she has 2 degrees in Political Science. To claim so and have no knowledge, none, of the History of Political Speech and its attendant search for freedom would suggest that her degrees are from the Little Haiti School of Proctology. To say that she knows about rights that are ours from “beyond the stars” would be a lie of monstrous proportions. It is if she says she loves Bach but has never heard of the cello.
Today marks the 19th anniversary of my last gunfight. The first police officer was dead before he hit the ground. The second one, shot from less than 10 feet in the sternum by a .357 Magnum, lived to dance with my daughter at her wedding. I suppose if those two policemen had been “stifling” people who believe that “Congress shall make no law,” they wouldn’t have been shot.
She should be flogged. The ordure of “non-malodorus fecal matter syndrome”, a condition common to modern American Liberals, might yet be scourged from her.
Kevin Smith
Letter to the Editor
The Sun Sentinel
RE: “Stifle” – Memories of Edith Bunker leap to mind but I shall beat them back – Some comments on your editorial of 5/30/12 entitled “Wrong to Stifle Wasserman Schultz”.
Sirs,
If, as you say editorially, if it is ”wrong to stifle Wasserman Schultz” as you imply Temple Israel did by canceling her speech because a big contributor objected, would not Logic dictate that it would be wrong for her to try to “stifle” anyone? She is by the standards pronounced in the Sullivan case [newspapers, remember?] as public a person as can be imaginable. Moreover, the “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune” should fall like gentle rain from her toughened hide, shouldn’t it?
The day abounds with “teachable moments”.
Welcome to the world of Constitutional History.
The First Amendment is as clear as a straight up, bone dry Tanqueray martini. “Congress shall make no law…” cannot be stretched to read “Temple Israel shall make no law…” The monitum, “make no law”, cannot even be extended to the Sun Sentinel. Although you are a company operating under the aegis and gimlet eye of a Federal Bankruptcy Judge he can neither make you print something nor can he prohibit you from printing something.
In the case of the temple why should you be shocked if a major contributor objects to her speaking? It’s his money and since I assume he is in possession of a working yiddishe kup why should he stand by and subsidize the rantings of a mad woman? I believe he asked for equal time. When that was denied he said he was gone. It certainly got their attention. I don’t know what part of the Talmud where “Whose wine I drink whose song I sing” is but that’s the way the real world works. If other members object to this I am sure there are other shuls that will gladly welcome them
At my daughter’s reception following her wedding I banned light beer in general and all Anheuser Busch products in particular. When asked why I said because it was my party. “OK”, said the manager.
If you can imagine a more “stifling” experience than to have 2 men, men with badges, guns, and the full majesty of the law, knock on your door and say that they want to “discuss” what I had written about and to then Florida legislator Debbie Wasserman Schultz, AKA Little Debbie, please share it with me.
On September 18, 2001 Agent Thomas and Agent Mineva of the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, came to “talk” to me about my writings.
I can never keep it straight.
Which came first? The chilling effect or the slippery slope?
One of the lasting benefits of being born and raised in Bayonne, NJ is that you know that there are no lost episodes of The Honeymooners or the long time running hit, Good Cop/Bad Cop.
Agent Thomas told me “loved” my letters. Further, he said that everyone in his office “loved” them too. When I asked Agent Mineva, “leading the witness” would best describe it, if I should stop writing to Little Debbie he quickly answered “Yes”. He then said, and my hand is raised to God, “it would be better for all if I stopped writing to all public officials”.
Little Debbie doesn’t like to be reminded that she is the paradigmatic template, as good a modern American Liberal bit of Sophistry as can be found in the mAL dictionary, of a horse’s ass. In her case I’ll make it mare’s ass.
Mel Brooks was right when his royal character in “History of the World” looks at the camera and says, “It’s good to be King”. Gender concessions are allowed. Little Debbie then sends 2 policemen to my house, effectively making them her “piss boys”, to “stifle” me.
It is tough being a policeman. We ask them to shield us from the more feral occupants of society. We ask them to operate under rules that favor the culprit rather than the constable. We tsk our tongues when they prove human.
Little Debbie says she has 2 degrees in Political Science. To claim so and have no knowledge, none, of the History of Political Speech and its attendant search for freedom would suggest that her degrees are from the Little Haiti School of Proctology. To say that she knows about rights that are ours from “beyond the stars” would be a lie of monstrous proportions. It is if she says she loves Bach but has never heard of the cello.
Today marks the 19th anniversary of my last gunfight. The first police officer was dead before he hit the ground. The second one, shot from less than 10 feet in the sternum by a .357 Magnum, lived to dance with my daughter at her wedding. I suppose if those two policemen had been “stifling” people who believe that “Congress shall make no law,” they wouldn’t have been shot.
She should be flogged. The ordure of “non-malodorus fecal matter syndrome”, a condition common to modern American Liberals, might yet be scourged from her.
Kevin Smith
Monday, June 4, 2012
Secretary Janet Napolitano Department of Homeland Security
June 2, 2012
Secretary Janet Napolitano
Department of Homeland Security
Washington, DC 20528
RE: Thanks!
Madame Secretary,
Thanks for telling me to come in from the rain. It makes all the difference in the world, particularly if you want to stay dry.
I suggest that one simple way to reduce both the deficit and the anxiety level of the average American would be to change the length of the hurricane season. Instead of June 1 to November 30 how about July 4th to Halloween?
Again, I almost can’t tell you how grateful I am for the inside info on staying dry when it rains.
Who says government doesn’t work?
Kevin Smith
Secretary Janet Napolitano
Department of Homeland Security
Washington, DC 20528
RE: Thanks!
Madame Secretary,
Thanks for telling me to come in from the rain. It makes all the difference in the world, particularly if you want to stay dry.
I suggest that one simple way to reduce both the deficit and the anxiety level of the average American would be to change the length of the hurricane season. Instead of June 1 to November 30 how about July 4th to Halloween?
Again, I almost can’t tell you how grateful I am for the inside info on staying dry when it rains.
Who says government doesn’t work?
Kevin Smith
Robert Watson, Ph.D. American Studies Program Lynn University
June 3, 2012
Robert Watson, Ph.D.
American Studies Program
Lynn University
3601 N. Military Trail
Boca Raton, FL 33431
RE: The Hindenberg as a “teachable moment” – Some comments on your op-ed in today’s Sun Sentinel
My dear Professor,
First, “God is in the details”. [You may wish to insert your own choice for an all knowing individual. It is still a bit early, even for one consumed by solipsism such as Lord Barack the Beneficent to install himself as the supreme intelligent design simian-like watch maker, however.]
“Lakehurst, America’s first international airport” ain’t quite true. It’s akin to being a little bit pregnant. That Lakehurst was America’s first international airport for dirigibles there can be no doubt. It is both a distinction and a difference.
When I was in the drilling business – oil & gas, no teeth – in my Sisyphean task to become a one percenter I recall seeing some mineral leases on properties in Oklahoma. The standard API lease, one that is still in use, had more than adequate space for exclusions. Helium was always excluded from leases on Oklahoma properties. At the time almost all recoverable helium was in Oklahoma.
The reason why the Hindenberg exploded into flames after crashing was because the United States would not sell helium to Germany. Helium was considered to be a natural resource vital to the defense of our country and was not exported.
When the Hindenberg crashed, hydrogen, a most volatile gas, burst into flames. If it had been filled with helium it still would have crashed but would not have burst into flames.
I mention this because a “teachable moment” is upon us.
The Secretary of Defense, Leon Panetta, is in Vietnam. One of his stops will be at Cam Ranh Bay. It has the physical attributes to be one of the great naval bases in the Pacific. Indeed, the United States Navy thought so.
The official reason is to coordinate the ongoing search for American MIAs. The real reason is to remind China that the Pacific Ocean is not a lake.
Some old White guy said that there are no permanent allies, that there are no permanent enemies, but that there are “permanent interests”.
I know that there is a lot of oil in the waters surrounding China.
The world has not seen a navy grow like China’s since the Germans and the Japanese in the 1920s and 1930s, notwithstanding the noble Nobel Prizes awarded to Kellogg and Briand for saying nay.
2,500 United States Marines are now based in Australia
In the coming years the only legitimate threat to China’s growing like Topsy navy will be the United States. Marines in Australia and Cam Ranh Bay as a homeport to some of those big ass American carriers, some of those nasty nuclear armed frigates, and a few hunter/killer submarines and…who knows.
I think the word in Chinese for Vietnam is “further south”
As I said, a truly teachable moment.
Kevin Smith
Robert Watson, Ph.D.
American Studies Program
Lynn University
3601 N. Military Trail
Boca Raton, FL 33431
RE: The Hindenberg as a “teachable moment” – Some comments on your op-ed in today’s Sun Sentinel
My dear Professor,
First, “God is in the details”. [You may wish to insert your own choice for an all knowing individual. It is still a bit early, even for one consumed by solipsism such as Lord Barack the Beneficent to install himself as the supreme intelligent design simian-like watch maker, however.]
“Lakehurst, America’s first international airport” ain’t quite true. It’s akin to being a little bit pregnant. That Lakehurst was America’s first international airport for dirigibles there can be no doubt. It is both a distinction and a difference.
When I was in the drilling business – oil & gas, no teeth – in my Sisyphean task to become a one percenter I recall seeing some mineral leases on properties in Oklahoma. The standard API lease, one that is still in use, had more than adequate space for exclusions. Helium was always excluded from leases on Oklahoma properties. At the time almost all recoverable helium was in Oklahoma.
The reason why the Hindenberg exploded into flames after crashing was because the United States would not sell helium to Germany. Helium was considered to be a natural resource vital to the defense of our country and was not exported.
When the Hindenberg crashed, hydrogen, a most volatile gas, burst into flames. If it had been filled with helium it still would have crashed but would not have burst into flames.
I mention this because a “teachable moment” is upon us.
The Secretary of Defense, Leon Panetta, is in Vietnam. One of his stops will be at Cam Ranh Bay. It has the physical attributes to be one of the great naval bases in the Pacific. Indeed, the United States Navy thought so.
The official reason is to coordinate the ongoing search for American MIAs. The real reason is to remind China that the Pacific Ocean is not a lake.
Some old White guy said that there are no permanent allies, that there are no permanent enemies, but that there are “permanent interests”.
I know that there is a lot of oil in the waters surrounding China.
The world has not seen a navy grow like China’s since the Germans and the Japanese in the 1920s and 1930s, notwithstanding the noble Nobel Prizes awarded to Kellogg and Briand for saying nay.
2,500 United States Marines are now based in Australia
In the coming years the only legitimate threat to China’s growing like Topsy navy will be the United States. Marines in Australia and Cam Ranh Bay as a homeport to some of those big ass American carriers, some of those nasty nuclear armed frigates, and a few hunter/killer submarines and…who knows.
I think the word in Chinese for Vietnam is “further south”
As I said, a truly teachable moment.
Kevin Smith
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