Saturday, November 30, 2013

November 29, 2013
Leonard Pitts
The Miami Herald
3511 NW 91st Street
Miami. FL 33172

RE: Thanks be to Allah we ain’t yet run by the Taliban. Some comments on your column of 11/27/13 about the horrors, the horrors of never reaching the horizon.

Mr. Pitts,

Before I get to the good part about male misogyny – Can there be any other kind? – keeping your daughter from being all that she wants to be I have an academic/cultural question.

You say that she is an English major.

Perhaps she will know.

Is Wordsworth, despite his devotion to daffodils, still considered to be a male chauvinist pig by the elders of the feminist, hecates all, deconstructive sophists in the All Chick Literature Hall of Fame?

I am preparing for my traditional end of year book shredding. [Shredding you say? I no longer burn them. Rather, I dispose of them in an environmentally sensitive manner. It is a small thing but it’s a start to reduce my carbon foot print to help save the baby seal eating drowning polar bears. It’s the least I can do.] Who says a founding member of the “vast Right-Wing conspiracy” can’t be a fan of clean air? Send me your list.

If you tell me her favorite poet is Rod McKuen or, worse, Maya Angelou, I’ll be shocked, shocked.

But I digress.

You say

“When she launches her career [social work], she’s
likely to face barriers to advancement common to
American women – lower pay, workplace misogyny,
And that ceiling of glass through which she will be
Able to see the next step but be barred from taking it.”
The Herald
You

3 things, perhaps more.

#1 – Are you saying that if your daughter gets a degree in social work and works for the city of Fort Lauderdale, Broward County, the state of Florida or the Federal government she will be paid less because she lacks a prostate gland?

If so I know any number of underemployed lawyers who will take her case on a double contingency basis. A – If they don’t win the lawyers get bupkis and –B- If lose they will pay her. A win/ win for her.

Such is the cultural fervor for “fairness” that she would be better served, if she intends to be a litigant in the court of perpetually outraged victimhood, to get a Doctorate. It’s like Final Jeopardy without the Jeopardy. Plus, the scores can really change. So can the dough.

#2 – Workplace misogyny? I hoped that 5 years of change would have “fundamentally transformed” all that. Silly me! That’s the last time I’ll ever believe a politician.

The traditional modern American Liberal solution – See a problem? Write a law correcting it. Have Judge Draco enforce it. – may not be the best one available.

Tell her to read about Lysistrata and Antigone.

It didn’t necessarily “work” for them but after 25 centuries it still is a good conversation starter.

Tell her to think about Golda Meir and Margaret Thatcher as role models, it being a bit late for an Evita reprise.

Do you think the Incognito/Martin brouhaha is worthy of mention here?

#3 – About the impenetrable “glass ceiling”…perhaps a review of Hillary Clinton’s rise to fame, power, money [she gets $450,000 per speech], and high office is in order.

She was hired by the largest law firm in Little Rock, Arkansas the day after her husband was elected Attorney General of Arkansas.

She was made a partner by the largest law firm in Little Rock, Arkansas the day after her husband was elected Governor of Arkansas.

She was made an outside director of the largest company in Arkansas after her husband was re-elected Governor of Arkansas. [It must be noted that within hours of her resigning her seat on the board of Wal-Mart the company turned to the dark side. Worker exploitation, sexual harassment, homophobia are proudly proclaimed as company goals. Their $4 prescription plan is just a ploy to get all single moms, women of color with children in need of a good Ritalin program and Midnight Basketball, to buy prescriptions there. Once they do the price will go to the moon. Since we know that poor people cannot exercise consumer rights Wal-Mart will “own” them. Just you wait and see.]

One more thing before I go.

Perhaps your daughter – Did she go to public high school like President Bush’s daughters did and President Obama’s daughters didn’t? – may want to spend some time consulting with Clio, the Muse of History.

Her assignment is to research why the victory at Tours – the paradigmatic template for good guys beating bad guys – is the most significant military event in Western Civilization

Her starting point is to show what would have happened if the winners and the losers were reversed.

I read this morning where the WOG mullahs in Nigeria steam rolled 250,000 bottle of beer. While I night be in favor of smashing 250,000 bottles of Lite-Beer swill it is a slippery slope down which I do not want to go. At the bottom, in addition to the dreaded chilling effect, are people who want to bring back stoning as one solution to the adultery problem. Talk about social work on steroids!

Does she know that while Western theologians used to debate how many angels could dance on the head of a pin their Islamic counterparts now debate what size stones to use in their no-fault divorce courts? If the stones were too big the lady didn’t suffer long enough. If the stones were too small the lady suffered too long. The search for the right size stone, like the quest for the Holy Grail and the horizon, is never ending.
Woman’s reach must exceed her grasp or what’s the sense of it all?

I too am thankful that Malala lives. Deo volente that she “will not only endure but that she will prevail”.

All the more reason that your daughter’s potential troubles are small, indeed tiny, minuscule, compared to hers.

What a country!




Kevin Smith

Sunday, November 24, 2013

November 23, 2013
Albert R. Hunt
Bloomberg News
1399 New York Avenue
Washington, DC 20005

RE: Is there a copy available of the Esquire cover with an article entitled “Kennedy Without Tears”? It had a picture of the martyred President, the one shot and killed by a devoted Marxist, and not the Tea Party, on a crucifix. Didn’t Mother Teresa and the Polish Pope have a Devil’s Advocate?

Mr. Hunt,

First, I am an Irish-Catholic born and raised in Bayonne, NJ. That precludes any possibility of GOP tainting since Republicans had to be out of town by sundown. I remember my father telling me that a sign that said “Men Working” was Republican propaganda.

Second, my letter from R. Sargent Shriver congratulating me on joining the Peace Corps is available for review.

Four things about your “Excuse me but I just wet my pants” column about Lucky Jack:

#1 – You mention President Kennedy “who sent troops to the South to enforce integration”...

The rule for civil fraud – 10b5 – specifically mentions “omission” of a material fact as being part of the double helix of fraud. You have your toes up on the line by not mentioning that it was President Eisenhower who sent paratroopers – I forget whether it was the 82nd or the 101st – to Central High School in little Rock, Arkansas to enforce the law.

History demands that 2 things be emphasized:

A – All opposition – all, no exceptions – to the above came from the Democratic Party.

B – President Eisenhower, nee General Eisenhower, the man who led this country to victory in Europe, was the same man that Candidate Kennedy accused of letting this country fall into a “limitless peril”. It was called the “missile gap”

Thank God for Google.

#2 – You mention Joe Kennedy “a 33 year old freshman Congressman from Massachusetts” as if he were… as if he were… part of the royal family of. Kim Il Sung.
Jeezus Haitch Keerist, but it’s good to be a catcher on the Lucky Sperm Yankees. I daresay that health care coverage after January 1, 2014 is not high on their list of concerns.

Those louts and loutettes must have implanted GPS chips. Should one of them get lost in the woods no hound could ever track them because they all have lethal levels of “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”.

Do you know if any of those dilettantes ever soiled their diapers when they were young? Were they born playing touch football? Miley Cyrus and Brittany Spears at least had to sing and dance before they retreated to the 1% world of conspicuous consumption.

#3 – Maybe Malcolm X was on to something when he suggested that “chickens were coming home to roost” in re the Kennedy assassination. 3 weeks before Kennedy was shot the United States, at the very least, acquiesced in the assassinations of Diem and Nhu in Saigon. One of the flaccid myths about the United States and Vietnam was that Kennedy wanted to get this country out of the conflict. Maybe he should have clipped Ho Chi Minh.

#4– My non Irish-Catholic aunt, the one from Hester Street, said, “Don’t piss on my back and tell me it’s rain”.

Good advice then. Better advice now.





Kevin Smith

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

November 20, 2013
Letter to the Editor
The Sun Sentinel
500 Broward Blvd,
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394

RE: “If it ain’t broke don’t fix it” – Your template for one sentence editorials keeps improving. That you encourage the ascendancy of lunacy is an example of environmental collateral damage. Kind of like “friendly fire”.

Sirs,

“It is not considered junk science anymore.”
Today
You

As a matter of fact, it is, it is.

First and foremost is the continuing egregious offense to Logic.

Would my mentioning Hoc post ergo propter hoc label me as an elitist? I hope so.

Here’s another bomb shell.

Correlation is not causation.

If I were to mention tautologies you would surely go bonkers.

One particularly hot August day in Washington, DC – Hot summer day in DC? When did they start? – President Clinton held a press conference in the Rose Garden. He began by saying it was hot because of Global Warming. Global Warming was caused by hot summer days. So there. He immediately went back to the Oval Office for a stress reduction session

I have a book – The Population Bomb – written in 1970 by Paul Ehrlich, P.HD. His major premise, that we would all be dead by the year 2000 has been irrefutably empirically refuted. His autopsy of our dead palnet would show a neck and neck race between starvation and freezing as the alleged perpetrators. Objects of interest, if you will.

I am chuckling – strike that – sneering because 13 years after we were supposed to have gone by-by we are still standing. The 6:00 AM temperature was 79 degrees and I remain calorically challenged. “Never mind”, as Emily Litella used to say.

Who else but Commissioner Kristin Jacobs to be the poster girl for your Save the Friggin’ Polar Bears campaign.

She is the high priestess of the Lysenko sect of the Church of St. Ned Lud. I search vainly, ever so vainly, for a gentle way of saying that she is dumber than a dead 12 volt battery. Alas, I’ll find rutting unicorns returning punts for the loutish Dolphins before I find that.

She says, with neither a sense of embarrassment nor one of satire, that if we were to “overlay” a picture of Typhoon Haiyan over South Florida we would see the errors of our ways. Having been blessed with this Damascus moment we would return to the glories of the Bronze Age.

Thank God for permitting the discovery of the word bullshit.

How about we “overlay” Krakatoa over Broward County? The problems of over development, diminishing resources, FCAT scores, drowning polar bears photo IDs, and exploding human populations, would not have been visited on us.

How about we “overlay” the last Ice Age over Broward County? It sure as Hell would solve the python problem in the Everglades, wouldn’t it? We wouldn’t have to worry about affordable housing anymore or diversity anymore. Besides, maybe it’s time to stir things up a bit. I like it when a new New River appears. Which reminds me…How old is the old New River?

Despite getting style points form the Bulgarian judge for diving into the empty end of the gene pool is a sure and certain way to wind up being overloaded with Head up her Ass thoughts.

One certain way to lessen the damage caused by burning fossil fuels would be for Broward County to ban all air conditioning.

It’s the least we can do for our planet.

Send that balloon up and see how long it takes for the ObamaCare Death Panels to put you on the short yellow bus to the booby hatch.






Kevin Smith

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

November 19, 2013
Richie Incognito was last seen having an Atlas 5 rocket welded to his ass in preparation for his quasi-Quixotic quest to catch up to and pass the Pioneer space probe, the one launched in the glory years of Jimmy Carter.
Among other of the despicable, vile, Tea Party directed things he said he would do to Girly Man Jonathan Martin, a “Stanford graduate who reads classic literature and likes classical music”, was to take a dump in his mouth.
Richie will be heard from again just as he exits Jupiter’s gravity pull.
Some sins can’t be forgiven. Perhaps it would be better put to say that some sins, depending on the sinner, can’t be forgiven.
Vide Sir Arnold Lunn and the curious practice of eclectic indignation. It is one of the principal buttresses of modern American Liberalism. It enables them to make not able to lie straight in bed a virtue
Meanwhile, Martin Bashir, America’s favorite WOG commentator, says someone should take a dump in Sarah Palin/s mouth before taking a leak in her eyes. He says this knowing that there will be no criticism, none whatsoever, from the Left.
Haji Bashir will shortly host Saturday Night Live just before he and Alec Baldwin ride a tandem bike, the one without seats, to the opening of “Angels in America”, a musical comedy.
[“Dump”, as both a verb and a noun, is shorthand for guvna. Merde is an acceptable synonym, particularly for a “Stanford graduate who reads classic literature and listens to classical music”. The name Incognito will soon be changed to Atreus. Any “Stanford graduate who reads classic literature and listens to classical music” will recognize the significance of that. Everybody else must send a SASE.]
Speaking of New Jersey…The mystery of where the weight that Governor Christie lost has gone has been solved. Hillary Clinton, whose senior thesis was on the wonders of Saul Alinsky, has found it. She then Gorilla Glued it on to her soon to be Oliver Hardy ass. She looks like a Braunschweiger liverwurst hanging from a hook in an old time butcher shop. Her ass is what inspired Spandex. She needs a quart of industrial strength WD-40 to get dressed. Speaking of “dumps”, she takes hers in a wheelbarrow, said wheelbarrow having a picture of Monica Lewinsky’s oft visited open Oval Office looking up from the ten ring. Since Hillary has enough problems standing up she can’t be expected to give Monica a Golden Shower. Too bad Robert Mapplethorpe is dead.
In other breaking news, Gloria Steinem, and if you want to know what a two-legged shrew looks like your hunt is over, has been awarded a Medal of Freedom. She says, in typical modern American Liberal fashion, that Margaret Sanger should be honored. I know that Hitler, the Hitler who put all the Jews in the oven, the Hitler who made being a vegan a four letter word, had honored her by putting her views on eugenics – “culling the herd” and all that that entails – straight into the Nuremberg Race Laws of 1934. I guess not.
Jonathan Martin, the “Stanford graduate who reads classic literature and likes classical music”, was paid $75,000 for 3 hours of work per week. His job was to prevent large men with evil intentions from harming his teammates. The conflict between Antigone and Creon was seldom, if ever, discussed in the huddle. Whatever thoughts were in the mind of a linebacker attempting to maim his quarterback it can be safely said that Hayden’s string quartets were not in the forefront.
Even if they were not “Stanford graduates who read classic literature and like classical music” his teammates were familiar with the spirit of “Go stranger, tell the Spartans that we lie here obedient to their laws”.
Would I be dating myself if I were to say that is what men do and that is how men talk?
“Hostile workplace environment?” What flap-doodle clap-trap is that? The more “hostile” the environment the more that the volunteers who willingly place themselves in that arena are paid.
One of the pundits says that Girly Man Martin can turn to his mother for help. A 315 pound man who is paid more than $1,000,000 a year to work for 16 weeks is told to go to Mommy for help? I rather imagine that if he should ever return to a NFL locker room he will be reminded of that only every day.
Speaking of classic literature, and switching sports, T.S. Eliot gave a perfect description of a point guard.
“In a minute there is time for decisions and revisions that a moment will revise.”
[That Old Tom was very good athlete himself is not relevant.]
It is not acceptable to take a dump in someone’s mouth if that someone likes Mozart. If that person has killed and field dressed a bear and caught and cleaned a Sockeye salmon it is.
The modern American Liberal dream of everything in life becoming a scoreless tie is gaining speed.
We are in peril.
One more thing before I go.
At least once a century, 1864, 1942, 2012, the Feds use the Census Bureau for political purposes.
Before Sherman headed for the beach he grabbed the Census of 1860 to see the size of the plantations on his route. In fact, he planned his route by what crops and animals were closest to his shortest route. As valuable as cotton was he couldn’t eat it. He hunted where the ducks were; also hogs, cattle, poultry and grain. He shortened the war by some 18 months. He saved countless lives.
In January, 1942 the President of the United States telephoned the Governor of California. “Round up all those Gomers”, said Franklin Roosevelt. “I’ll send you the Census of 1940 to help you find out where they live.” “Will do”, said Governor Earl Warren.
In 2012 the Obama White House told the Census Bureau to cook the books in re the unemployment rate. They did. The week before the election a rate appeared that was actuarially impossible to justify. The mainstream media went all in. “In for a pence, in for a pound.” They would have bent over frontwards to keep their boy in the White House. They did.
After all, the conspiracy of silence on Fast & Furious, on wiretapping reporters, on the IRS becoming brown-shirted Fascist thugs, and on the murders of Americans in Benghazi, this last bitter cup of immoral doing was drunk to the dregs. In fact, it was willingly drunk for their obligation to a higher truth.
“…when statesmen forsake their private conscience for the sake
of their public duties…they lead their country by a short route to chaos.”

For the first two incidences a case could be made that the exigencies of war demanded the actions.
For the most recent, for the most vivid example of “The wish of the Prince has the force of Law”, there is no excuse, there is no justification.
The Alien and Sedition Act, having been found to be unconstitutional long before our government messed with the Census, it is OK, indeed it is mandatory, to proclaim that the Dear Leader has become a pox on our fair land.
“He has erected a multitude of new offices, and sent hither swarms
of officers to harass our people, and eat out their substance.”

“Why stand we here idle?”
All of this began with some absurd football happenings. What a country! That’s why, as the legendary Big Mike from Bayonne still says, “You never see anybody swimming TO Cuba.”


KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

Saturday, November 16, 2013

November 14, 2013
It’s OK to call President Obama a liar.
Leonard Pitts, current Reigning Elder of the Church of the Perpetually Outraged, speaking ex cathedra from the ossuary of “Non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”, gave his imprimatur in yesterday’s Miami Herald.
HE called him a liar.

In a lateral Arabesqued nuance, a move perfected by card carrying modern American Liberals, Pitts said he wasn’t as upset with the Dear Leader lying as he was with him soiling the cultivated image of him “not being just another President”.
He ends his column, not by chastising President B.O. for, you know what I’m saying, lying, but rather for not doing a better job of it.
“Liar, liar, pants on fire” no longer has the euphonic ring of truth to it.
His mention of “torpid prose” cannot go unchallenged.
He ends a particularly mournful, I dare say lachrymose, sentence by saying that despite the constant pounding of the vile, rat bastard Republicans – Is there any other kind? – Obamacare “remains popular with nearly half the American public”.
Would it make me a Robert Byrd wanabee, a Strom Thurmond acolyte or, worse, a lout in thrall to the hated Tea Party if I were to point out that, using his math, more than half the American public thinks it sucks?
Alas, it’s a risk that I willingly assume.

Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH


PS – If it’s OK to call him a liar how much longer will it be before we call him a lying Son of a Bitch? Once we cross that threshold we need not fear the dreaded Word Police if we point out the obvious. The 400 pound gorilla, sitting Canute-like by the incoming tide, despite all that Ivy League buffing, is a dumb ass lying Son of a Bitch.

Monday, November 11, 2013

Stilling the Pulse of Time from the Wall Street Journal

On the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month in 1918, firing ceased on the Western Front. Out of the ashes of World War I, whose centenary falls on this day next year, rose the Cenotaph in London, a remarkable monument commemorating, as its mournful inscription says, "The Glorious Dead."

MORE HERE

Sunday, November 10, 2013

November 10, 2013
Letter to the Editor
The Miami Herald
3511 NW 91st Avenue
Miami, FL 33172

RE: How rough a ride? – Some comments on your “Men are not angels” editorial today about the horrors, the horrors of partisan politics as if there were any other kind.

Sirs,

1800 and 1828 were landmark years.

They were years without electricity but not without vitriol and billingsgate. They were the dirtiest, most vile, most rotten campaigns in American History.

Even 1864, what with the forebears of today’s Democratic Party in a cabal with its flack, the New York Times, calling Lincoln a “baboon” and supporting slavery by calling for a cease fire with the states in rebellion, did not come close. [As an afterthought it would have been better for the country if General Sherman had flattened the South. a la General Lemay’s flattening of Japan. The Romans never had a problem with the Carthaginians after Scipio firebombed them.]

1960 was another great year for campaigns. “Just buy enough to win”. “I’m not paying for any landslides”, was Corsair Joe Kennedy’s retort about money spent in the West Virginia primary.

The Democratic candidate in 1960 said that there was a “missile gap”. How, the compliant media never asked, could the President who led 10,000,000 men in battle and made Hitler eat his gun less than a year after he got to Europe would let his country descend into mortal peril? The answer was that he didn’t.

Mean spirited, nasty, ad hominem, dirty, racist, sexist, and homophobic campaigns are, to paraphrase H. Rap Brown, a noted community activist of the ‘60s “as American as apple pie”.

“Congress shall make no law…” means that if George Soros and the Koch Brothers decide to tell their supporters that the parents of their opponents did not know each very long and that their brief meeting was recorded neither in the rectory nor in the country registry it’s OK.

We tamper with that process at our own peril.

But wait. There’s more.

You imply that Governor Scott’s attempt to purge the voter rolls is lower case racism.

A quick check of voting fraud stories in Miami/Dade County will show that 100% of them involve Democrats. In a bit of unintended irony the overwhelming majority of the alleged perpetrators is non-Caucasian.

I had an uncle in Jersey City who voted the straight Democratic ticket – Row A All the Way – for 15 years after he died. He was White.

Let the games begin!




Kevin Smith

Thursday, November 7, 2013

November 7, 2013
Letter to the Editor
The Sun Sentinel

RE: When the phalanx is being formed who should be in the front line? Further thoughts on the Miami Dolphins BullyGate crisis.

Sirs,

“Unit cohesion” was one of the buzz-words used by vast numbers of Right-Wing conspirators opposed to homosexuals, lesbians, transgendered, regendered, ungendered, and non-gendered personnel being put into combat situations. Indeed these insufferable, insensitive louts did not want them in any branch of the services.

Red neck comments about “I got your back”, “Don’t drop the soap”, “I-You-We-They will “bring up the rear” abounded.

Personally, I would like to see a chorus line from La Cage aux Folles go over the top, bayonets only, at a Taliban stronghold. A phalanx of stiletto heels, slit dresses, 2 pound eye lids, and hair big enough to house bats might just cause the WOGs to panic.

“Unit cohesion” doesn’t stop at the barracks door. And, lest we forget, “…men in barricks ain’t plaster saints.”

Locker rooms – And how long before the cry is heard to have unisex locker rooms, including group hot tubs and rub downs? - have a code.

Performers are at the top of the food chain. Loud and profane, calm and temperate…as long as they produce they are the Alpha males.

Discipline and dedication are in the mix.

While I am bound and determined not to be cliché-ridden it is indeed fitting and proper to proclaim that there still is not “I” in team

Winning locker rooms will tolerate almost anything. Losing locker rooms less so.

NFL teams in Florida have a combined record of 4 and 20 with the Dolphins having all the wins.

I believe that today the Tampa Bay and the Jacksonville locker rooms are in better shape than the Dolphins’. They know that they are just plain awful. If they were horses their next stop would be the glue factory.

The Bucs and the Jags will now play, as is oft-times said, for pride. Individual players will play for next year’s salary. Neither team will go winless.
The Dolphins’ locker room will soon make a dozen rabid, rutting wolverines in a broom closet seem like a day at the beach. The reason is simple: They are mediocre.

Unlike Jonathan Martin who “went to Stanford and likes classic literature and listens to classical music” Incognito is probably not familiar with the 4 Source Theory of Pentateuch Composition. He is most conversant with the life lessons learned at the skills school of Conrad Dobler and Bob St. Clair. Plus, he has great tattoos.

In the funny world of modern American Liberalism the ideal sport would be one where every game ends in a scoreless tie.

Alas, the real world, the world of “stones are hard and water is wet”, does not tolerate such clap-trap nonsense.

The real world is made up of sharp edges, sharper elbows, and big time ass kickings, be they physical or mental. The guy who convinces himself and then convinces his teammates that we might as well win is the guy who gets to hold up the trophy and make a fool of himself on national TV.

Seal Team 6, the Israeli Air Force, the Chicago Mercantile Exchange, the gymnastics team that Juia, my 8 year old granddaughter and Texas State Champion practices at, the English department of any New England college, the editorial department of a small newspaper just emerging from bankruptcy into the glaring klieg lights of a heartlessly exploding Internet [Thanks, Al] getting your kid into the “right” school, anybody who has been 2 down with 3 to go in a $1000 Nassau, handing the pen to the customer and telling him to sign…all are text book labs for bullying and objective survival skills that would make Darwin proud.

Why in the names of Dick Butkus, Jack Lambert, and Ronnie Lott should the hot house of the Dolphins be different?

Maybe Jonathan Martin can be the poster boy for ObamaCare feel good, “Why can’t we all get along” seminars.

Incognito wants to stomp on the nearest guy wearing a different color jersey, then tear his heart out and eat it.

It is the difference between being a Hoplite or a Helot.

When it’s 3rd and 12 who would you want?


Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET


November 6, 2013
Letter to the Editor
The Sun Sentinel

RE: If it works, keep doing it – Some comments on your unlinkable one sentence editorial today about the shame we, and I mean every last one of us, share in the Dolphin Bullygate crisis.

Sirs,

“Bullying behavior brings shame on Dolphins, region”
Today
You

A 16 year old girl was raped and beaten by 5 people 2 days ago. Should Broward County be indicted?

Was South Florida guilty of shooting Versace?

Yes, if we follow your sham Logic, is the only answer to both questions.

[That football is an important tool in the socialization of teenage males overloaded on raging hormones is a subject for a different discussion.]

Since I moved to Broward County a lot of politicians have gone to jail. [Thank God I moved here from Hudson County, New Jersey. That men are not angels is a lesson learned at mother’s knee.] What did I do to cause that? What did you do to cause that? What did we do to cause that?

Collective guilt is one of the sign posts on the road to Avernus. As the first great multicultural poet said “The sins we do two by two we pay for one by one”.

2,000,000 males play football in this country. Less than 2,000 of them play in the NFL. The culture is the same at each level. No matter how long it has been since you played, the culture, the one that encourages toughness, both physical and mental, is always there.

You use the term “workplace environment” as if you were talking about the Broward County Board of Education. Since you say the “victim” likes classic literature let me include one of my favorites. The Great Dr. Johnson – Samuel, not Lyndon – said “Such stupidity, sir, is not found in nature”.

Like it or not, and modern American Liberal editorial writers abhor it, there is a Darwinian selection process that begins in grammar school. The winners wind up in front of 80,000 fans screaming in a most feral way. The noise at kickoff is not 80,000 voices humming Kumbaya. The players are big men who are bent on violence. The more violent they are the better they are paid. There is always someone newcomer challenging them. Violence, and the discipline to use it wisely and well, can overcome physical advantage. I suggest you look back to the Jets and the Colts and Miami and Nebraska. Both were played in the Orange Bowl.

Nixon ended the draft. It is always well to note that when he did the burning of draft cards stopped, it being a moot point. Look it up. I mention that because there are no NFL “press gangs” rounding up large farm boys from corn fields to make them play. Beginning from age 8 they choose to play.

Perhaps Richie Incognito, and I add that the Gods of football are pleased with his name, would not be the first choice to be with to listen to the Goldberg Variations Jonathan Martin, “a former Stanford student who likes classic literature and classical music”, and what in the name of Vince Lombardi and Bear Bryant does that have to do with any of this, choose to enter this world voluntarily.

At the risk of being not sufficiently sensitive to gender issues it is the way men settle things. It’s akin to making law and sausages. If you don’t like to watch messy things turn your eyes away. If a disability, be it physical or mental, prevents him from playing so be it. Let him decide.

We enter this at our own peril.

It should be settled intramurally.

Unless of course you are desirous of sensitivity training for wedge busters.




Kevin Smith

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

November 4, 2013
Letter to the Editor
The Sun Sentinel

RE: A new trend in journalism – ONE SENTENCE EDITORIALS!

Sirs,

Thank you very much for making pre-dawn activity easier. Your idea of reducing all those words, words, words to one thought is sure to sweep the industry.

In its entirety…

“There simply aren’t enough good-paying jobs to keep
poor and low-income families from going hungry.”
Today
You

What went wrong?

4 years ago we borrowed a trillion dollars from meretricious Mandarin moneylenders. Then we used it for “shovel ready” jobs that the Dear Leader then told us weren’t quite “shovel ready”. Suddenly the noted Italian economist, Professor Vivaldi, began trumpeting the arrival of the “Summer of Recovery”. He just finished his 4th encore. Then we arranged to have a health care system designed by Martians with snakes for brains. It gets better. Then we had Pickle Boat Willie and his dim cousin, John the Gom, design a website that makes your hair hurt.

But wait. There’s more.

Just before this jerry-rigged Rube Goldberg thing-a-ma-jig collapses into the Black Hole of Absurd Incompetence send out a Medusa-like South Florida harridan with a voice that can cure Shingles, answering to the name of Little Debbie, to look behind the curtain and yammer like a Banshee in heat that the Tea Party did it I think that means that the statute of limitations has run on G.W. Bush.

I think that’s what the rest of your editorial said. It did, didn’t it? Jeepers, if it didn’t it should have.



Kevin Smith