1,500,000 years ago the Yellowstone Basin exploded. Life stopped for several centuries, 750,000 years ago the Yellowstone Basin exploded.

Life stopped for several centuries. The bad news is that we are in the window for it to blow up again.

Tip #1 - Borrow as much money as you can. interest only.

Tip #2 - Don't buy any green bananas.

Tip #3 - Aren't you glad the word "bullshit" is still around?

Tip #4 - Manatee sausage forte homeless, An idea whose time has come, no?

1,500,000 years ago the Yellowstone Basin exploded. Life stopped for several centuries, 750,000 years ago the Yellowstone Basin exploded.

Life stopped for several centuries. The bad news is that we are in the window for it to blow up again.

Tip #1 - Borrow as much money as you can. interest only.

Tip #2 - Don't buy any green bananas.

Tip #3 - Aren't you glad the word "bullshit" is still around?

Tip #4 - Manatee sausage forte homeless, An idea whose time has come, no?

April 19, 2015

Fred Grimm

The Miami Herald

RE: Time to say goodbye – Some comments on your unlinkable homage to jackassery in today’s Miami Herald opinion section.

Mr. Reaper,

Enough with the freakin’ manatees!

I single out these useless sea slugs because, if Darwin is right, maybe it’s time for those useless sea slugs to go; to go, as in extinct. The world has, so far, survived the unlamented loss of pterodactyls, assorted T-Rexes, and Neanderthals. Look it up, you boob.

Guilty White people will have to find a new way to recycle their 10 day old arugula and radicchio other than feeding these creatures. There is an unexpected benefit of cutting down our collective carbon footprint by not driving to an overpass and holding up traffic while disposing of unwanted Swiss chard, kale, and tofu.

Your lachrymose description of the tough times faced by panthers, black bears, wood storks, and sea turtles is touching. It is also Homerically dumb because, in its essence, it is anti-rational and anti-human.

The North Star of consistency common in the genetic makeup of modern American Liberals, a disproportionately addled group, is that the wretched excesses of the uber rich are what cause, in addition to putting out hit squads for barely animate flotsam and jetsam, rage in the ghetto, despair in Section 8 housing, long lines in clinics,

overburdened and underfunded public transit, a loss of “fairness”, teenage obesity and bullying, the heartbreak of psoriasis, and may be the underlying cause of why feral Muslim thugs don’t like us. 

It is owed to the ledger to say that the collateral damage caused by the Koch Brothers war on manatees was the loss of Midnight Basketball. “Hands Up” on defense and “Shoot” on offense is still good advice.

Woe betide the vulnerable sea slug if gazillioniares George Soros, Steven Spielberg, and Tom Steyer decide to try to break the sound barrier in their yachts on Biscayne Bay. In addition, we have to endure the 4^th generation of Kennedys, all proud members of the Lucky Sperm Club, flying gas guzzling private jets, to hector us on the evils of capitalism and the dangers of vaccination.

Logical thinkers who read your column have no choice but to believe that if the society that countenances a precious few to be uncommonly “lucky in life’s lottery”, to fill their garages with Bentleys and Maseratis, to get carpal tunnel syndrome from wearing multiple Rolexes, and for regarding farting through silk to be essential, is turned upside down the manatees will thrive, the children will dance, and the voice of the turtle will be heard in the land. 

It is an inconvenient truth but rich people hire poor people for 2 reasons: #1 is to enjoy the pleasures of being rich and #2 is to get richer. Poor people work for rich people for 2 reasons: #1 is to pay their own way and #2 is to get rich themselves.

If we get rid of the rich who will pay to take care of the manatees? 

Somebody has to change the oil in all those Bentleys. The poor in this country tend to smoke and drink beer. The more people who change oil in the Bentleys the more cigarettes and beer they will be able to buy. The more they buy the more taxes they will pay. A carton of smokes and a case of beer a week and we can have manatee pre-school.

But I digress.

Your concern for bears and panthers is touching. Why not alligators? They share on common trait. The want to catch you, kill you, and eat you.

I know that the dramatic increase in the number of undocumented alien pythons must make you tumescent. That’s what happens when you substitute feelings for ideas.

That’s what happens when you believe that Bambi is a great movie.

Accordingly, and by the powers of the office vested in me, I name you

HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK 

[FOREVER]

KEVIN SMITH

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

PS – Manatee suffrage and a 105% top tax rate are sure winners in 2016, don’t you think?

Ronald Reagan? Arthur Laffer? Milton Freidman? The evidence of your own eyes?

A minor te deum should be raised when a fire breathing modern American Liberal comes to his senses.

It today's unklinkable Sun Sentinel Op-ED about "enterprise zones " you say that a tax cut that will disproportionately benefit rich people, mostly White, is OK if it benefits poor people, mostly Black.

[speaking of "tax cuts for the rich" how can you give tax cuts to the poor since by definition they have no income?]

Perhaps a successful Sistrunk revival, a revival caused by reducing several types of taxes, can lead to a park where trees, the ones that money grow on, and where geese, the ones that lay golden eggs, can flourish. Do you think it could lead to a never-ending Summer of Recovery?

If I can find it would you like to borrow my Adam Smith tie?

"The Way the World Works" by Wan niski and "Property and Freedom" by Pipes would be useful as you "come out of the cave and look up and see the stars".

April 6, 2015

S.A. Sullivan 

The Star Ledger

sssullivan@njadvancemedia.com

Mr. Sullivan, 

Your article on the after tax effects of the proposed Exxon/NJ settlement in today’s Star Ledger bespeaks a lack of knowledge of how Orwell spoke of the real world.

“Stones are hard, water is wet.

If that is granted all else follows.”

I am going to assume that while you have signed the back of a pay check you have never signed the front of one. Thus, you would never have to come to grips with the inconvenient truth of the horror, the horror of learning that your salary is deductible to the entity issuing it.

It gets better.

Your underlying premise – corporations are bad, profits are evil, and evil doers must be punished – does not augur well for an early arrival of the much delayed, long anticipated Summer of Revival.

The simple, irrefutable truth is that profit is what makes the dog hunt and the mule plow. Even the great Lord Keynes agreed with that with his repeated call for tax cuts as a way to increase profits which he knew would “create” jobs. [Look it up]

You know – of course you do because you’re writing about business, right? – that corporations don’t pay taxes. Never have; never will. They, like advertising, legal fees, insurance premiums, 3 martini lunches, the aforementioned salaries, and emoluments to the local chapter of the “Undrown the Polar Bear” crusade are expenses borne by the shareholders

Your extra credit assignment is to find out who said the following:

At best, taxes are an enforced exactitude. The taxpayer is under no

 obligation to arrange his affairs in a way that favors the government.

 It is a patriot’s duty to pay the least amount of taxes possible.”

            The answer may surprise you.

        2 more things:

        #1 – Who the hell is PIRG? You cite them several times with no qualifiers. Forget about auditing the Federal Reserve. Has anyone ever seen their tax returns? Do they file tax returns? How about a certified financial statement? Do they get any money from George Soros? The Koch Brothers? Tom Steyer? 

        #2 – My grandfather shoveled coal at the Bayonne, New Jersey Standard plant beginning in 1896. My father was an iron worker there in 1919. I worked at chemical plants on Hook Road where the Exxon plants were located.

       There will be a 5^th Gospel before anyone can find any proof of the existence of wetlands there or anywhere else on the New York harbor side of Bayonne.

       I have GCed the removal of underground fuel tanks. I know what a remediation plan is. It seems to me that the shareholders of Exxon are about to be charged for the restoration of property to a state that never was. 

       I am sure they will be pleased to know that it is tax-deductible.

KEVIN SMITH

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

PS – Soros, the Koch Brothers, and Tom Steyer in the same sentence? They have one thing in common. Every time they write a check the IRS gets less money.

             

March 30, 2015

Rhonda Swan

The Sun Sentinel

rswan@evolutionslifecoaching.com

RE: Do the math – A comment on why modern American Liberals can’t get Florida to support Midnight Basketball as tearfully reported by you in today’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel.

Ms. Swan,

“Florida House members should

Support good Senate bills”

The Sun Sentinel”

Today

You

“Conflate” is the sanctioned word du jour of modern American Liberals, Of course, nothing can replace “gravitas”. Of course, nothing ca surpass “gravitas’, a word that sprung full grown from the furrowed collective brows of up appallingly biased media, to describe Dick Cheney in the election of 2000 but here’s a candidate.

There is a simple way to get the “Florida House members [to] support god Senate bills”. 

“Just win baby”

Al Davis was on to something. In February, 2009 President B. Hussein Obama, America’s most successful community activists and the best President we have, began a hectoring session with Republican Congressmen with the soothing lines of “There was an election. I won. Get over it”.

Doubtless, he learned from one of Saul Alinsky’s favorite mentors, V.I. Lenin, who set it all out in a snappy little book called “What’s To Be Done”. If you control the votes you can pass whatever you want. I offer as an example the Federal law called the Freedom of Religion Act. It is the model for the law that 20 states have now adopted, the last one being Indiana. In1993 it won all but 3 votes out of a possible 535 in Congress. President Clinton, and whatever else he was he was not a homophobe, couldn’t wait to sign it.

Isn’t that the way Democracies are supposed to work?

I’ll repeat this if necessary but you seem to be “clean and articulate” so that probably shan’t be necessary.

Elect more Democrats to the Florida legislature and you’ll be able to pass anything you want. Elect a Democratic Governor and she’ll sign legislation mandating that everyone must fart through silk.

Wait a minute. Wasn’t that how ObamaCare got passed?

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

April 4, 2015

Robert Steinback

The Sun Sentinel

“As I see it, the proper role of religion is as

an aid to introspection, not as a tool for

projecting power and influence over others”

The Sun Sentinel

April 3, 2015

You

If I read this correctly, and if career choices could be changed retroactively, Martin Luther King, Jr. would have succeeded his father as the premier pastor/preacher in Atlanta. Mother Teresa would have been allowed to continue her good works provided she kept quiet about them

It’s Holy Week. Here’s a pop quiz.

Who said “Halfway through my journey I found myself in the dark wood of error”?

Listen carefully. The Hound of Heaven is a dog that will bark.

KS

April 4, 2015

Letter to the Editor

The Sun Sentinel

RE: Job application

Sirs, 

If a transgendered crossdresser asks a Muslim bakery to prepare a cake celebrating the marriage of his/her father to his/her brother/sister, with the cake inscribed with lard saying Allah Ain’t So Akbar, and is refused, who, if anyone, is the victim of a hate crime?

I know the answer

That is why I am applying for the job of deciding which vox populi is “good” and which vox populi is “bad”.

The hectoring headline of today’s editorial

RESPECT WILL OF THE VOTERS ON AMENDMENT1

with regards to the allocation of tax revenues, said revenues coming from the tax on real estate transactions, to land and water conservation, suggests an eclectic indignation that is embedded in the DNA of modern American Liberalism.

If the voice of the people is to respected as if it came “ex cathedra” on Exhibit A – the environment – and not on Exhibit B – same sex marriage – does the decision process mimic the inanimate plight of the thermos? The thermos keeps the hot things hot and it keeps the cold things cold. How does it know the difference?

I, as a gimlet-eyed observer of the passing scene, as a literate curmudgeon who can tell the buttered sided form the dry, can help you make those distinctions.

I will give you #1 & #2 free of charge.

#1 – “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome” -  ??? Send a SASE

#2 – Your favorite color is plaid

I am too old to expect the courtesy of a reply but it is the Easter season and I can hope, can’t I? Who knows what Peter Cottontail has in his basket?

The couple will be registering at Total Wine, Tiffany’s, Victor/Victoria’s Secret[s]  and Big Al’s gun store.

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET