February 2, 2019 Even though he cost me one of my better memes...

February 2, 2019

Even though he cost me one of my better memes, one that I have been using since Bush was President – “Josef Mengele, MD would win any Democratic primary he ran in in Broward County, Ground Zero for modern American Liberalism, because of his progressive views on abortion” and its follow up about 4^th & 5^th trimester infanticide – I don’t want Ralphie Northam, MD, the Democratic Governor of Virginia, to quit.

He can make the common weal better by being a positive negative example.

He had no problem calling his gubernatorial opponent a racist.

 He had no problem throwing flaming bags of cat shit at Brett Kavanaugh for something he mavbe, allegedly, perhaps, Quien sabe, did or didn’t do almost 4 decades ago.

Unlike Hugo Black or Robert Byrd – fellow Democrats and proud alumni of the Ku Klux Klan, Senators who basked and reveled in their sheeted past – Governor Little Ralph also managed to put his dick in the wringer because of a photo in his medical school yearbook – Did I just say medical school yearbook? Yes, I did. And truth really is stranger than fiction because he was training to become, and I am not making this up, a so help me God, pediatrician – showing him as Mr. Bojangles, a Black faced buffoon who doubled as Step-n-Fetchit in the Wednesday matinee or a proudly hooded Klansman like the ones who supported John Nance Garner, Albin Barkley, and John Sparkman. And, needless to say which is why it must be said, but if century old Confederate statues must be razed a la the Taliban blowing up Buddhas, why is racist Russell’s name still on the Senate building and why are nuclear powered and nuclear armed Naval vessels named after racist Vinson and bigot Stennis?

Could Little Ralphie, this goony nit-wit, make his week worse? Yes, yes said an incredulous public. How so, they wanted to know. By “revising and extending his remarks”, a favorite trick of Congress. It’s when you discover that while 2 + 2 really is 4, your focus group wants it to be either 5 or 6 and sometimes 7. So, while you spoke the truth about killing 2-year-old children, as being a codicil to the only Sacrament extant in the Church of Secular Humanism, Abortion, you said only if they lived in single parent houses and had scoliosis.

He said, and in public, that abortion was OK up until the time the baby had been held by 2 different sets of grandparents and his father tried to change his diaper for the second time and before he applied to pre-school or he stops believing in both the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny, whichever comes last.

Predictably, the POO-mALs, none of whom give’s a rat’s ass about killing viable human beings, except in the electric chair or when they are trying to invade our beloved country, focused on the racial aspect which is why all copies of Shakespeare’s Othello will be shot past Pluto the next time the next time a Pioneer rocket is saddled up. Infanticide, and its champion, J. Swift, are enjoying a comeback, thanks to Ralphie Boy. 

Tom Steyer and George Soros will pay $1,000,000 each – and try to get it before Congresswoman Chiquita Cortez’s 105% tax bracket kicks in – for a picture of Ralphie wearing his MAGA hat. And, yes, it is out there.

Curly Biden [named in honor of the smartest Stooge] and Alpha Gump, [the paradigmatic template of White Privilege and the only man I know to flunk out of 2 graduate schools in one semester], both ex-Veeps which meant that they had their lawn mowed by guys carrying Uzis are the only people to benefit from this mAL FUBAR. [For the unread, mAL FUBAR means “modern American Liberal Fucked Up Beyond Recognition] The reason is simple. As long as this Guinness Book loutish jester is stumbling around like a drunken lout in the public arena the gimlet eye of public opinion will not be on them. They can continue honing their “sex poodle” skills and trying to figure out how to get ivory with which to replace their aging uppers.

You are right if you noticed that I did not end the last sentence with a preposition, that being a “situation up with which I will not put.”

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET 

PS – Please, please will someone get a 12-gauge Remington and a 70-pound otter hound and put an end to that rat in Pennsylvania? Also, some good news from the medical front. I was recently diagnosed with spinal stenosis for which a minor te deum must be raised. That means I do not have one of those wasting neurological diseases, the ones identified by initials, for which I have been recently tested.

PPS – Howard Schultz, Gazillionaire founder of Starbuck’s, who came back from an 8 year sabbatical to shoot every 7^th overpaid executive to return his company to its former glory of $6 coffee cum language lessons, a child of the Brooklyn projects, and if a Broadway musical can be staged about an Argentinean hooker than one can be staged about how he got from Canarsie to Northern Michigan University to Milan to Seattle to maybe the White House using his own money, has suddenly become a pariah to the pajama people who name their kids Kumbaya and believe no tax is ever high enough. I will try to buy some coffee without phumfering and embarrassing my granddaughters. And if Michael Moore will think ill of me, well, I’ll just have to live with that cross.