Posts
June 18, 2012
HRH Prince Charles
@ Queen Elizabeth – his mom
Buckingham Palace
London, England
RE: What were you thinking?
Yo! Chuckie! Listen up!
Just when I was feeling warm and fuzzy about your mom, just when your sons seem to be good and maybe great young men, just when I think your daughter-in-law’s sister has one of the greatest asses, certainly in the Commonwealth, and possibly in all of Christendom, you have to go and spoil it.
Your clap trap folderol on climate change is like never ending fingernails on the blackboard. Who is your mentor? I suspect some combination of Ned Lud and Lysenko has gotten your attention. One of my least favorite Englishman said, “I beseech you in the bowels of Christ, consider that you may be wrong”. [He also cut the head off of one my wife’s ancestors but that’s not why I write.]
I like baby seals more than I like polar bears. If those 10 foot carnivores drown so be it.
In my country we have enshrined the furbish lousewort and the snail darter in a Hall of Fame built for anti-rational Brobdanaglian boobs. I think you are one of its official sponsors.
It is far better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you are a horse’s ass than to open it and remove all doubt.
You and the missus seem to have a good thing going. I hope your dad feels better.
Unless your favorite climatologist becomes A. Vivaldi I suggest you keep your gob shut.
Kevin Smith
PS – Didn’t Westminster send missionaries to open churches in Greenland 1000 years ago? Why was it called Greenland? Did the climate change? It’s all so confusing, isn’t it?
Monday, June 18, 2012
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Father's Day
June 17, 2012
As Americans, a people well suited for exceptionalism, we treat ourselves to monthly outbreaks of epidemics. Teen age obesity, crumbling infrastructure, lack of self-esteem, indifference to the plight of ungendered or degendered people, drowning polar bears…the list is endless.
A new contender is bullying.
It being Fathers’ Day I am proud to say that I solved the particular problem of my daughter being bullied the old fashioned way. I told the father of the bullyer that if it happened again I would kick his ass so hard that he would have to take his socks down to crap.
My daughter was never bullied again.
As effective as the above was we must remember, as the DWEMs of ancient Greece told us, that no number of particulars can make a universal. Texas sized ass whuppings may not be the only answer. It is one answer.
I expect Lord Barack the Beneficent to issue an executive order outlawing bullying. I rather expect that the Oval Office ukase will be overshadowed by this year’s edition of the long running Summer of Recovery series.
Any social policy that is predicated on the premise that “There is no such thing as a bad bully” is preordained to fail. I add as an émigré from Bayonne, N.J. “and rightfully so”.
I am going out at noon to buy a case of Shiner beer. As a Board Certified Expert on American beer I can tell you on a scale of one to ten it earns a consistent eight.
A “one” rating means it could be any Anheuser-Busch product, chief of which is Budweiser. In more polite company either “I have had worse” or “It’s better than no beer at all” will do.
A “ten” says that you can consume it by osmosis and IV. Patches, like stop smoking ones, are being worked on and, yes, you can take it to the grave with you.
A case of bullying, potentially life changing bullying, was solved in Shiner, Texas a few days ago.
A Shiner resident heard his 4 year old daughter screaming in terror. He rushed outside to see a 40+ year old part time employee trying to tear his daughter’s underpants off.
The father beat the man to death
I don’t know if it will deter any other bully wanabees. I do know there is a guy on a slab in the Lavaca County morgue wearing a toe tag. It sure as Hell deterred him.
It’s what fathers are supposed to do.
Get some Shiner Bock and raise a glass to this Father of the Year
Happy Fathers’ Day!
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
As Americans, a people well suited for exceptionalism, we treat ourselves to monthly outbreaks of epidemics. Teen age obesity, crumbling infrastructure, lack of self-esteem, indifference to the plight of ungendered or degendered people, drowning polar bears…the list is endless.
A new contender is bullying.
It being Fathers’ Day I am proud to say that I solved the particular problem of my daughter being bullied the old fashioned way. I told the father of the bullyer that if it happened again I would kick his ass so hard that he would have to take his socks down to crap.
My daughter was never bullied again.
As effective as the above was we must remember, as the DWEMs of ancient Greece told us, that no number of particulars can make a universal. Texas sized ass whuppings may not be the only answer. It is one answer.
I expect Lord Barack the Beneficent to issue an executive order outlawing bullying. I rather expect that the Oval Office ukase will be overshadowed by this year’s edition of the long running Summer of Recovery series.
Any social policy that is predicated on the premise that “There is no such thing as a bad bully” is preordained to fail. I add as an émigré from Bayonne, N.J. “and rightfully so”.
I am going out at noon to buy a case of Shiner beer. As a Board Certified Expert on American beer I can tell you on a scale of one to ten it earns a consistent eight.
A “one” rating means it could be any Anheuser-Busch product, chief of which is Budweiser. In more polite company either “I have had worse” or “It’s better than no beer at all” will do.
A “ten” says that you can consume it by osmosis and IV. Patches, like stop smoking ones, are being worked on and, yes, you can take it to the grave with you.
A case of bullying, potentially life changing bullying, was solved in Shiner, Texas a few days ago.
A Shiner resident heard his 4 year old daughter screaming in terror. He rushed outside to see a 40+ year old part time employee trying to tear his daughter’s underpants off.
The father beat the man to death
I don’t know if it will deter any other bully wanabees. I do know there is a guy on a slab in the Lavaca County morgue wearing a toe tag. It sure as Hell deterred him.
It’s what fathers are supposed to do.
Get some Shiner Bock and raise a glass to this Father of the Year
Happy Fathers’ Day!
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Letter to the Editor The Sun Sentinel
June 16, 2012
Letter to the Editor
The Sun Sentinel
RE: Let freedom ring!
Sirs,
Fazi Say, a citizen of Turkey who is in the first rank of classical pianists, is in jail. He is accused of “insulting Islam”.
Arthur Rubenstein said if he didn’t practice for 3 days the audience knew. If he didn’t practice for 2 days the orchestra knew. If he missed a day for whatever reason he knew. Say has been locked up for 6 months. He faces an additional 18 months should he be found guilty.
I hope I am not thought to be an insulter of Islam by saying that Turkish prisons, whatever else they are famous for, are not as best place to sharpen one’s Liszt.
As to “insulting Islam”, George Carlin is still dead and Bill Maher is more at home insulting Republicans and Christians. Don Rickles will shortly be going down the modern American Liberal memory hole. Juvenal is DWEM. Swift is not available.
That leaves me.
Let us stipulate that Islamic votaries can fly planes into buildings.
Would it be insulting to say that a roomful of Allahs surrounded by dozens Mohammed butt boys couldn’t build a plane? I hope not. Just to be safe I have canceled my trip to Troy.
The United States of America uses money raised from its taxpayers and borrowed from Mandarin moneylenders to promote a play titled “Corpus Cristi”. Its plot is simple: Christ was crucified because of a lovers’ quarrel. Judas Iscariot, his homosexual lover, became enraged over a slight. He ratted him out to the Pharisees who got the Romans to crucify Him. Even Eye-Tie operas can‘t top that. “Trousered Apes” rule.
Insulting?
Absolutely.
The author is not at Camp Gitmo because artistic works on the avant-garde cutting edge of expression are under the aegis of the First Amendment. It may be time to bring back the Fullbright Doctrine. It said that no matter how bad a nation treated its citizens as long as they didn’t pee in our soup it was none of our business.
Something must be done other than sending in Seal Team 6.
Herewith my proposal.
High noon. July 4, 2012. The steps of the Federal Courthouse on Broward Boulevard in Ft. Lauderdale.
I will wrap the Koran in some of those cartoons of Mohammed. Then, to show that I am not culturally biased as to whom I insult, I will wrap them in a distressed American flag. Next stop will be the cleansing flames of righteous fire. I will have nearby a gallon of pig piss, a commodity that is most difficult to come by, should the flames begin to look like Nero’s handiwork.
I am appealing to media types of all persuasions. I most want to be received with open arms by modern American Liberals who regard any attempt to stifle artistic expression as anathema. I want them to protect me lest some crazed WOG tries to assault me as I exercise my right to free speech.
People who play the piano, people who listen to people play the piano, people who agree with Justice Douglas when he said “We must have room for what we hate”., people who said it was OK for Nazis to march in Skokie, people who protect porn - and at what age does the pedophilia proscribtion drop off? – people who agree with Justice Black who would ask where does it say in the Constitution that you can’t do it, people like that, should rally to my cause.
Allah ain’t so great.
I seek publicity to petition for this redress of grievances.
Won’t you help?
LET FREEDOM RING!
Allow me to paraphrase Cole Porter…”I love a Mozart tune. How about you?”
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Letter to the Editor
The Sun Sentinel
RE: Let freedom ring!
Sirs,
Fazi Say, a citizen of Turkey who is in the first rank of classical pianists, is in jail. He is accused of “insulting Islam”.
Arthur Rubenstein said if he didn’t practice for 3 days the audience knew. If he didn’t practice for 2 days the orchestra knew. If he missed a day for whatever reason he knew. Say has been locked up for 6 months. He faces an additional 18 months should he be found guilty.
I hope I am not thought to be an insulter of Islam by saying that Turkish prisons, whatever else they are famous for, are not as best place to sharpen one’s Liszt.
As to “insulting Islam”, George Carlin is still dead and Bill Maher is more at home insulting Republicans and Christians. Don Rickles will shortly be going down the modern American Liberal memory hole. Juvenal is DWEM. Swift is not available.
That leaves me.
Let us stipulate that Islamic votaries can fly planes into buildings.
Would it be insulting to say that a roomful of Allahs surrounded by dozens Mohammed butt boys couldn’t build a plane? I hope not. Just to be safe I have canceled my trip to Troy.
The United States of America uses money raised from its taxpayers and borrowed from Mandarin moneylenders to promote a play titled “Corpus Cristi”. Its plot is simple: Christ was crucified because of a lovers’ quarrel. Judas Iscariot, his homosexual lover, became enraged over a slight. He ratted him out to the Pharisees who got the Romans to crucify Him. Even Eye-Tie operas can‘t top that. “Trousered Apes” rule.
Insulting?
Absolutely.
The author is not at Camp Gitmo because artistic works on the avant-garde cutting edge of expression are under the aegis of the First Amendment. It may be time to bring back the Fullbright Doctrine. It said that no matter how bad a nation treated its citizens as long as they didn’t pee in our soup it was none of our business.
Something must be done other than sending in Seal Team 6.
Herewith my proposal.
High noon. July 4, 2012. The steps of the Federal Courthouse on Broward Boulevard in Ft. Lauderdale.
I will wrap the Koran in some of those cartoons of Mohammed. Then, to show that I am not culturally biased as to whom I insult, I will wrap them in a distressed American flag. Next stop will be the cleansing flames of righteous fire. I will have nearby a gallon of pig piss, a commodity that is most difficult to come by, should the flames begin to look like Nero’s handiwork.
I am appealing to media types of all persuasions. I most want to be received with open arms by modern American Liberals who regard any attempt to stifle artistic expression as anathema. I want them to protect me lest some crazed WOG tries to assault me as I exercise my right to free speech.
People who play the piano, people who listen to people play the piano, people who agree with Justice Douglas when he said “We must have room for what we hate”., people who said it was OK for Nazis to march in Skokie, people who protect porn - and at what age does the pedophilia proscribtion drop off? – people who agree with Justice Black who would ask where does it say in the Constitution that you can’t do it, people like that, should rally to my cause.
Allah ain’t so great.
I seek publicity to petition for this redress of grievances.
Won’t you help?
LET FREEDOM RING!
Allow me to paraphrase Cole Porter…”I love a Mozart tune. How about you?”
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Michael Putney The Miami Herald
June 13, 2012
Michael Putney
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 33132-1693
RE: Buckle up! The other shoe is airborne. – Some comments on your delightful column this morning.
Mr. Putney,
Forgive me, please, for not thinking of you as I rushed pell-mell through the task of “unbooking” myself. I am told that when someone is dropped from a Twitter or a Facebook list the proper phrase is “unfriended”. I am past the limits of Ockham’s Razor. Empty shelves and dust bunnies abound.
You say that John Sullivan has “found ways to incorporate the technology of fiction into reportage”. I imagine you read the New York Times by IV each morning. You are probably running out of “good” veins. Having stopped the puzzle cold turkey on October 3, 1999 I chucked the rest of it when front page reportage in the beginning of 2003 devoted more space to the horror, the continuing horror, of there be far too many urinals at Augusta National than the upcoming war in Iraq.
Since I don’t – never – lend books Logic would dictate that I can’t borrow them either. I mention this because I have given away at least 20 copies of “A Confederacy of Dunces”. The last one went in March to an Englishman I met in a saloon in Antigua in 1979. [My uncle Adam, a canny Scot, said that “more good has come from an inn than any other invention of mankind”] I put a paper clip around the introduction written by Walker Percy. I tell reluctant donees that if they read that and are not grabbed by the more thoughtful short and curlies to devour the book put it down. Further, I tell them that if that is the case their secret is safe with me.
The other line from Percy, one that should be writ in stone, one that is transcendental, is “The road to Auschwitz begins in an abortion clinic”. It is almost Augustinian. “Love God and do what you will.”
Reading – not Googling – is the last mental pong game. One hit triggers another. Pretty soon things are popping up all over. I have been a fan of the Classics – Fan of the Classics? Hubris, no? Ah well, the Gods will sort it all out, won’t they? – for a long time. If Xanax isn’t available I suggest that a silent reading of the Iliad and the Odyssey plus a sleep mask will help you through a Pet-Scan or MRI of your skull. I realized last month that Caroline, my 10 year old granddaughter, the one who had her hair cut for “Locks for Love” when Grammy had her chemo, the one who raised $5,000 for St. Jude Children’s Hospital, knows more, far, far more about Greece and Rome than I did at the same age. I will see to it that she has a delightful summer.
My lists [enclosed] have been to Russia, China, and even New Jersey. Who knows where else? A tells B who tells C who skips over D but tells H and M. It’s like tossing a bottle with a message into the Gulf Stream. Quien sabe?
The whistling sound of “Incoming” grows louder.
On or about November 1, 1996, my second week in Florida, I tracked down Books& Books in Coral Gables. I was a regular by Christmas. I went there to pick up some poems for presents. I had a few tomes in hand when I noticed that a name was missing from the shelves. I asked where this author was. The most helpful sales lady directed me to a bearded thin man [Full disclosure demands that I announce that I too am bearded. I have no memory of ever being called thin.] I asked him, and this was before I knew him to be a champion of free speech, where Ezra Pound was. He said that it was his store and that he wasn’t going to carry that anti-Semite. Joyce, Eliot, Hemingway, Yeats. It is impossible to think of 20th Century literature without thinking of Pound. Free market devotee that I am I agreed. I walked out and haven’t been back since.
It is fitting and proper to note that Star Chamber lockups did not begin with WOG terrorists. Modern American Liberals who champion the detainees in Camp Gitmo, America’s first adult sleep away camp, have sent Pound so far down the Memory Hole that he is beginning to come out the other side. 13 years in the booby hatch without having been arrested, arraigned, tried, or convicted. Thank God we still have “eclectic indignation”. It’s better than none at all.
Nat Hentoff wrote a book titled “Free Speech for Me but not for Thee”. I mention him because he told me if I got arrested protesting a restrictive speech ordinance in Lauderdale by the Sea he would write a column about me. “That’s easy for you to say”, was my response.
Walker Percy to Nat Hentoff. Perfect together. The circle expands.
Thank you for a non-alcholic eye opener
Kevin Smith
Michael Putney
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 33132-1693
RE: Buckle up! The other shoe is airborne. – Some comments on your delightful column this morning.
Mr. Putney,
Forgive me, please, for not thinking of you as I rushed pell-mell through the task of “unbooking” myself. I am told that when someone is dropped from a Twitter or a Facebook list the proper phrase is “unfriended”. I am past the limits of Ockham’s Razor. Empty shelves and dust bunnies abound.
You say that John Sullivan has “found ways to incorporate the technology of fiction into reportage”. I imagine you read the New York Times by IV each morning. You are probably running out of “good” veins. Having stopped the puzzle cold turkey on October 3, 1999 I chucked the rest of it when front page reportage in the beginning of 2003 devoted more space to the horror, the continuing horror, of there be far too many urinals at Augusta National than the upcoming war in Iraq.
Since I don’t – never – lend books Logic would dictate that I can’t borrow them either. I mention this because I have given away at least 20 copies of “A Confederacy of Dunces”. The last one went in March to an Englishman I met in a saloon in Antigua in 1979. [My uncle Adam, a canny Scot, said that “more good has come from an inn than any other invention of mankind”] I put a paper clip around the introduction written by Walker Percy. I tell reluctant donees that if they read that and are not grabbed by the more thoughtful short and curlies to devour the book put it down. Further, I tell them that if that is the case their secret is safe with me.
The other line from Percy, one that should be writ in stone, one that is transcendental, is “The road to Auschwitz begins in an abortion clinic”. It is almost Augustinian. “Love God and do what you will.”
Reading – not Googling – is the last mental pong game. One hit triggers another. Pretty soon things are popping up all over. I have been a fan of the Classics – Fan of the Classics? Hubris, no? Ah well, the Gods will sort it all out, won’t they? – for a long time. If Xanax isn’t available I suggest that a silent reading of the Iliad and the Odyssey plus a sleep mask will help you through a Pet-Scan or MRI of your skull. I realized last month that Caroline, my 10 year old granddaughter, the one who had her hair cut for “Locks for Love” when Grammy had her chemo, the one who raised $5,000 for St. Jude Children’s Hospital, knows more, far, far more about Greece and Rome than I did at the same age. I will see to it that she has a delightful summer.
My lists [enclosed] have been to Russia, China, and even New Jersey. Who knows where else? A tells B who tells C who skips over D but tells H and M. It’s like tossing a bottle with a message into the Gulf Stream. Quien sabe?
The whistling sound of “Incoming” grows louder.
On or about November 1, 1996, my second week in Florida, I tracked down Books& Books in Coral Gables. I was a regular by Christmas. I went there to pick up some poems for presents. I had a few tomes in hand when I noticed that a name was missing from the shelves. I asked where this author was. The most helpful sales lady directed me to a bearded thin man [Full disclosure demands that I announce that I too am bearded. I have no memory of ever being called thin.] I asked him, and this was before I knew him to be a champion of free speech, where Ezra Pound was. He said that it was his store and that he wasn’t going to carry that anti-Semite. Joyce, Eliot, Hemingway, Yeats. It is impossible to think of 20th Century literature without thinking of Pound. Free market devotee that I am I agreed. I walked out and haven’t been back since.
It is fitting and proper to note that Star Chamber lockups did not begin with WOG terrorists. Modern American Liberals who champion the detainees in Camp Gitmo, America’s first adult sleep away camp, have sent Pound so far down the Memory Hole that he is beginning to come out the other side. 13 years in the booby hatch without having been arrested, arraigned, tried, or convicted. Thank God we still have “eclectic indignation”. It’s better than none at all.
Nat Hentoff wrote a book titled “Free Speech for Me but not for Thee”. I mention him because he told me if I got arrested protesting a restrictive speech ordinance in Lauderdale by the Sea he would write a column about me. “That’s easy for you to say”, was my response.
Walker Percy to Nat Hentoff. Perfect together. The circle expands.
Thank you for a non-alcholic eye opener
Kevin Smith
Monday, June 11, 2012
Gary Stein The Sun Sentinel
June 10, 2012
Gary Stein
The Sun Sentinel
RE: The continuing education of Little Stein – Does he like Dante? Swift? Has he come to grips with Antigone?
Big Stein,
When Little Stein was 9 did he become interested in music because of a dedicated, selfless, perpetually underpaid Broward County school teacher, doubtless a full blown “I Dreamt I Saw Joe Hill” union member, who still cries when somebody mentions the Triangle Shirt barbecue or was there encouragement at home?
See? I’m making you feel good about yourself with only one sentence.
My musical training took a different path.
My 9 week piano lesson semester consisted of me paying the nun at St. Mary’s in Bayonne, N.J. $1 once. I pocketed the next $8 telling the good sister that my father was sick and out of work. When the nun told my mother that the whole convent was praying for my father’s quick recovery my lessons ended. I tried the same thing with hair cut money but that too did not end well.
Anthropology suffers with the mark of Cain. It was inflicted by one of the 3 great female fakers of the 20th century. Margaret Mead spent her research time in Samoa doing the horizontal tango with the chief’s son. All the chief’s sons. In fact, all the chiefs’ sons, nephews, uncles, and 1/32 [a la Elizabeth Warren] English mutineers lined up to take a shot at her. Funny thing about looking like Yogi Berra but lacking his verbal skills. If you want your dance card to be filled you have to travel 10,000 miles. She would come back to America to write a book about noble savages that the John Dewey devotees adored. Whenever she wanted to turn her brown eyes blue she booked passage on the nearest tramp steamer.
Anthropology is an academic discipline that has no sharp edges. It lacks right angles. As such, it becomes subjective. Speaking of subjective, my plan to increase FCAT scores in Geometry and boost student self-esteem never could gain traction. All we had to do was change pi from 3.1416 to 3.0 and students would start to feel better about themselves. When the bridges start to fall down we would have a built in Summer Recovery Stimulus Plan. The brouhaha about same sex marriages and the continuing contretemps about Obamacare never would have started. Alas, I was too early.
But there is still hope for Little Stein.
I know a guy who drilled more than 100 oil and gas wells, owned and operated 7 coal mines in Kentucky, had 5 coal mines in West Virginia, and was an officer and director of a public company that owned a 100 car coal load-out facility. The best part of it was that the coal went to Turkey and Italy. None of it was burned here. A win/win, no?
His major was History.
I know a guy who reorganized a bankrupt company. The bond holders and the stock holders, unlike General Motors and Chrysler, were made 100% whole. In the process he became an expert witness on mortgages at the Federal Court level.
One of his minors was Philosophy.
I know a guy who bought a 47 film library from the BBC for American distribution. He also produced a series of tapes on basketball. He also knows that “Triumph and Disaster are 2 imposters”.
English was another one of his minors.
I know a guy who ran 2 nursing homes. He once was paid $5,000 just to have lunch. He flew the Concorde. He had a matter decided by the Supreme Court of the United States. He was in a gunfight and he testified at a murder trial. He also told his children that he would not pay for any undergraduate credits in business, save for accounting. [The MBA is an honorable degree. It is diminished by having an undergraduate degree in marketing or some such nonsense.]
I know a guy who was CFO – that’s business shorthand for Chief Financial Officer – of a public company. That means he gets to sign the annual reports and the 10Ks. [10K? SASE]
His 3rd minor was Spanish.
Since I believe that “Modesty is a very overrated virtue” I must confess that the “guy I know” is me.
Traveling with this guy is a musical grab bag.
Of course his vehicle of choice is a gas guzzling, polar bear drowning, 7 league boot carbon footprint SUV. [Since I still produce far more energy than I consume I have a pass to have my house cold enough to hang meat or warm enough to melt cheese.] I travel with everything, and I mean everything, that Mozart ever wrote. Wolfie, David Alan Coe, Rodgers & Hart, and some steel drum tunes can get me to the state line. Then I tell myself the Iliad and the Odyssey. The best one sentence definition of the Odyssey was given to me by a captive audience member at an alternative high school.
The alternative was quite simple: Listen to this curmudgeonly White guy or go to jail. “Ain’t the Odyssey the story of the dude who took 10 years to get back to his old lady”? If that’s not genius I don’t know what is. If only he had had some dedicated, selfless, underpaid Broward County Look for the Union label teacher sparking an interest in castanets he might have missed the opportunity to hear me. The other observation was how did he wind up there. The modern American Liberal answer is obvious. If only the rich had paid their “fair share” he might have become a dedicated, selfless Broward County music teacher.
Students of the Trivium know that sometimes the wheel is with you and sometimes the wheel is against you. They also know that defying the Gods is, at best, risky and, at worst, fatal.
Tell Little Stein that “Honor and shame from no condition rise”. Tell him to “Act well his part; there all honor lies”.
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
PS – I bet you thought I wasn’t going to tell you who the other 2 great female charlatans in the 20th Century were. Wrong! Margaret Sanger was one of Hitler’s favorite Americans. As much of a Nazi lover as Joe Kennedy was he never contributed to Hitler’s Nuremberg Race Laws. She did. The other one was Rachel Carson. Because her scientifically baseless claims about DDT were accepted the deaths of 2,000,000 sub Saharan Black babies every year continues. You don’t find that out in Engineering school.
Gary Stein
The Sun Sentinel
RE: The continuing education of Little Stein – Does he like Dante? Swift? Has he come to grips with Antigone?
Big Stein,
When Little Stein was 9 did he become interested in music because of a dedicated, selfless, perpetually underpaid Broward County school teacher, doubtless a full blown “I Dreamt I Saw Joe Hill” union member, who still cries when somebody mentions the Triangle Shirt barbecue or was there encouragement at home?
See? I’m making you feel good about yourself with only one sentence.
My musical training took a different path.
My 9 week piano lesson semester consisted of me paying the nun at St. Mary’s in Bayonne, N.J. $1 once. I pocketed the next $8 telling the good sister that my father was sick and out of work. When the nun told my mother that the whole convent was praying for my father’s quick recovery my lessons ended. I tried the same thing with hair cut money but that too did not end well.
Anthropology suffers with the mark of Cain. It was inflicted by one of the 3 great female fakers of the 20th century. Margaret Mead spent her research time in Samoa doing the horizontal tango with the chief’s son. All the chief’s sons. In fact, all the chiefs’ sons, nephews, uncles, and 1/32 [a la Elizabeth Warren] English mutineers lined up to take a shot at her. Funny thing about looking like Yogi Berra but lacking his verbal skills. If you want your dance card to be filled you have to travel 10,000 miles. She would come back to America to write a book about noble savages that the John Dewey devotees adored. Whenever she wanted to turn her brown eyes blue she booked passage on the nearest tramp steamer.
Anthropology is an academic discipline that has no sharp edges. It lacks right angles. As such, it becomes subjective. Speaking of subjective, my plan to increase FCAT scores in Geometry and boost student self-esteem never could gain traction. All we had to do was change pi from 3.1416 to 3.0 and students would start to feel better about themselves. When the bridges start to fall down we would have a built in Summer Recovery Stimulus Plan. The brouhaha about same sex marriages and the continuing contretemps about Obamacare never would have started. Alas, I was too early.
But there is still hope for Little Stein.
I know a guy who drilled more than 100 oil and gas wells, owned and operated 7 coal mines in Kentucky, had 5 coal mines in West Virginia, and was an officer and director of a public company that owned a 100 car coal load-out facility. The best part of it was that the coal went to Turkey and Italy. None of it was burned here. A win/win, no?
His major was History.
I know a guy who reorganized a bankrupt company. The bond holders and the stock holders, unlike General Motors and Chrysler, were made 100% whole. In the process he became an expert witness on mortgages at the Federal Court level.
One of his minors was Philosophy.
I know a guy who bought a 47 film library from the BBC for American distribution. He also produced a series of tapes on basketball. He also knows that “Triumph and Disaster are 2 imposters”.
English was another one of his minors.
I know a guy who ran 2 nursing homes. He once was paid $5,000 just to have lunch. He flew the Concorde. He had a matter decided by the Supreme Court of the United States. He was in a gunfight and he testified at a murder trial. He also told his children that he would not pay for any undergraduate credits in business, save for accounting. [The MBA is an honorable degree. It is diminished by having an undergraduate degree in marketing or some such nonsense.]
I know a guy who was CFO – that’s business shorthand for Chief Financial Officer – of a public company. That means he gets to sign the annual reports and the 10Ks. [10K? SASE]
His 3rd minor was Spanish.
Since I believe that “Modesty is a very overrated virtue” I must confess that the “guy I know” is me.
Traveling with this guy is a musical grab bag.
Of course his vehicle of choice is a gas guzzling, polar bear drowning, 7 league boot carbon footprint SUV. [Since I still produce far more energy than I consume I have a pass to have my house cold enough to hang meat or warm enough to melt cheese.] I travel with everything, and I mean everything, that Mozart ever wrote. Wolfie, David Alan Coe, Rodgers & Hart, and some steel drum tunes can get me to the state line. Then I tell myself the Iliad and the Odyssey. The best one sentence definition of the Odyssey was given to me by a captive audience member at an alternative high school.
The alternative was quite simple: Listen to this curmudgeonly White guy or go to jail. “Ain’t the Odyssey the story of the dude who took 10 years to get back to his old lady”? If that’s not genius I don’t know what is. If only he had had some dedicated, selfless, underpaid Broward County Look for the Union label teacher sparking an interest in castanets he might have missed the opportunity to hear me. The other observation was how did he wind up there. The modern American Liberal answer is obvious. If only the rich had paid their “fair share” he might have become a dedicated, selfless Broward County music teacher.
Students of the Trivium know that sometimes the wheel is with you and sometimes the wheel is against you. They also know that defying the Gods is, at best, risky and, at worst, fatal.
Tell Little Stein that “Honor and shame from no condition rise”. Tell him to “Act well his part; there all honor lies”.
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
PS – I bet you thought I wasn’t going to tell you who the other 2 great female charlatans in the 20th Century were. Wrong! Margaret Sanger was one of Hitler’s favorite Americans. As much of a Nazi lover as Joe Kennedy was he never contributed to Hitler’s Nuremberg Race Laws. She did. The other one was Rachel Carson. Because her scientifically baseless claims about DDT were accepted the deaths of 2,000,000 sub Saharan Black babies every year continues. You don’t find that out in Engineering school.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
E. J. Dionne, Jr. The Brookings Institute
June 2, 2012
E. J. Dionne, Jr.
The Brookings Institute
1775 Massachusetts Avenue
Washington, DC 20036
RE: “Pond scum”, “level the playing field”, and what is it about Massachusetts that lies get their own zip code – Some comments on the above
Mr. Dionne,
I watched you on Rachel Maddow’s show and one thought immediately leapt to mind: You were an All Star catcher on the high school bullying team. I too went to an all-boys Catholic high school. I too was on the All Star bullying team. The difference is that I was the pitcher.
I don’t know when you picked up the term “pond scum”. I first heard it from Congressman Jack Brooks of Texas. He was a limited partner of mine in an entity called Trinity Associates of which I was the General Partner. [Congressman Fernand St. Germain was also a partner] I had, still have, many Texas roots. The Congressman was the quintessential “good old boy”. Ed Rollins, GOP political consultant, was always in his cross hairs. He would begin the conversation by calling him “pond scum”. It went downhill from there.
You mentioned “level playing field” as if were sacred writ. I was expecting some other usual suspects of modern American Liberal jargon, things like like “slippery slope”, “chilling effect”, and the new favorite “fairness”. It suggests, indeed it screams, a lack of thought. Then again I did mention modern American Liberalism. Res ipso loquitur.
You fear this year’s contest will be as dirty as 1988. We all know that the low point was the racism of George H. W. Bush, as defined by Lee Atwater, about Willie Horton. Alas, the autopsy reveals something else.
We can stipulate, can’t we, that Father Flanagan’s maxim about there being no such thing as a bad boy, that it never took the measure of Willie Horton. Let the record show that the word “boy” has no racial connotation. [There was a rumor, unsubstantiated, of course, which is why it is called a rumor that Father Flanagan was 1/32 Kikuyu. How else could his favorite dish be Masai jowls with a side order of eland and wildebeest sweetbreads?]
Willie Horton is as violent a felon as Massachusetts had ever seen. Rape and murder were his specialties. Apparently Governor Dukakis, AKA Wee Mikey, thought there was no such thing as a violent felon. He gave him a weekend furlough. Having run out of low hanging fruit in Massachusetts he went to Maryland where, and I know you will find this hard to believe, he raped and murdered again. Governor Dukakis, doubtless being fitted for his tank outfit, was too busy to see the families of the Maryland victims.
I did say stipulate, didn’t I? Such is my devotion to the record that I will instantly correct any error called to my attention.
George H.W. Bush, as evil a 1%er as can be imagined, was not the person who brought this story to the attention of the American public. Senator Albert Arnold Gore, Jr, running for the Democratic nomination for President, spent much of the spring shouting it out prior to the New York primary. He later went on to fame as Vice President Alpha Gump. His later careers, that of a “sex starved poodle” and snake oil salesman for which he actually got a Nobel Prize, were not mutually exclusive.
June should be a good month for Princess SummerFallWinterWarren. It is rumored that her great grandfather had a cousin who helped kill Custer. June 25th is the anniversary of Little Big Horn. I have heard she will ride a buffalo up Bunker Hill. She will then kill the blond dyed, in honor of Custer, bison and eat his heart as an offering to Manitou.
If that doesn’t convince those dumb ass voters in Massachusetts nothing will.
It’s safe for you to have lunch today.
Kevin Smith
PS – Speaking of dirty campaigns, you may wish to become familiar with 1800, 1828, and 1876. They make 1988 look like a meeting of Swiss bankers. 2 out of 3 of them were done without electricity.
E. J. Dionne, Jr.
The Brookings Institute
1775 Massachusetts Avenue
Washington, DC 20036
RE: “Pond scum”, “level the playing field”, and what is it about Massachusetts that lies get their own zip code – Some comments on the above
Mr. Dionne,
I watched you on Rachel Maddow’s show and one thought immediately leapt to mind: You were an All Star catcher on the high school bullying team. I too went to an all-boys Catholic high school. I too was on the All Star bullying team. The difference is that I was the pitcher.
I don’t know when you picked up the term “pond scum”. I first heard it from Congressman Jack Brooks of Texas. He was a limited partner of mine in an entity called Trinity Associates of which I was the General Partner. [Congressman Fernand St. Germain was also a partner] I had, still have, many Texas roots. The Congressman was the quintessential “good old boy”. Ed Rollins, GOP political consultant, was always in his cross hairs. He would begin the conversation by calling him “pond scum”. It went downhill from there.
You mentioned “level playing field” as if were sacred writ. I was expecting some other usual suspects of modern American Liberal jargon, things like like “slippery slope”, “chilling effect”, and the new favorite “fairness”. It suggests, indeed it screams, a lack of thought. Then again I did mention modern American Liberalism. Res ipso loquitur.
You fear this year’s contest will be as dirty as 1988. We all know that the low point was the racism of George H. W. Bush, as defined by Lee Atwater, about Willie Horton. Alas, the autopsy reveals something else.
We can stipulate, can’t we, that Father Flanagan’s maxim about there being no such thing as a bad boy, that it never took the measure of Willie Horton. Let the record show that the word “boy” has no racial connotation. [There was a rumor, unsubstantiated, of course, which is why it is called a rumor that Father Flanagan was 1/32 Kikuyu. How else could his favorite dish be Masai jowls with a side order of eland and wildebeest sweetbreads?]
Willie Horton is as violent a felon as Massachusetts had ever seen. Rape and murder were his specialties. Apparently Governor Dukakis, AKA Wee Mikey, thought there was no such thing as a violent felon. He gave him a weekend furlough. Having run out of low hanging fruit in Massachusetts he went to Maryland where, and I know you will find this hard to believe, he raped and murdered again. Governor Dukakis, doubtless being fitted for his tank outfit, was too busy to see the families of the Maryland victims.
I did say stipulate, didn’t I? Such is my devotion to the record that I will instantly correct any error called to my attention.
George H.W. Bush, as evil a 1%er as can be imagined, was not the person who brought this story to the attention of the American public. Senator Albert Arnold Gore, Jr, running for the Democratic nomination for President, spent much of the spring shouting it out prior to the New York primary. He later went on to fame as Vice President Alpha Gump. His later careers, that of a “sex starved poodle” and snake oil salesman for which he actually got a Nobel Prize, were not mutually exclusive.
June should be a good month for Princess SummerFallWinterWarren. It is rumored that her great grandfather had a cousin who helped kill Custer. June 25th is the anniversary of Little Big Horn. I have heard she will ride a buffalo up Bunker Hill. She will then kill the blond dyed, in honor of Custer, bison and eat his heart as an offering to Manitou.
If that doesn’t convince those dumb ass voters in Massachusetts nothing will.
It’s safe for you to have lunch today.
Kevin Smith
PS – Speaking of dirty campaigns, you may wish to become familiar with 1800, 1828, and 1876. They make 1988 look like a meeting of Swiss bankers. 2 out of 3 of them were done without electricity.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Letter to the Editor The Sun Sentinel
June 3, 2012
Letter to the Editor
The Sun Sentinel
RE: “Stifle” – Memories of Edith Bunker leap to mind but I shall beat them back – Some comments on your editorial of 5/30/12 entitled “Wrong to Stifle Wasserman Schultz”.
Sirs,
If, as you say editorially, if it is ”wrong to stifle Wasserman Schultz” as you imply Temple Israel did by canceling her speech because a big contributor objected, would not Logic dictate that it would be wrong for her to try to “stifle” anyone? She is by the standards pronounced in the Sullivan case [newspapers, remember?] as public a person as can be imaginable. Moreover, the “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune” should fall like gentle rain from her toughened hide, shouldn’t it?
The day abounds with “teachable moments”.
Welcome to the world of Constitutional History.
The First Amendment is as clear as a straight up, bone dry Tanqueray martini. “Congress shall make no law…” cannot be stretched to read “Temple Israel shall make no law…” The monitum, “make no law”, cannot even be extended to the Sun Sentinel. Although you are a company operating under the aegis and gimlet eye of a Federal Bankruptcy Judge he can neither make you print something nor can he prohibit you from printing something.
In the case of the temple why should you be shocked if a major contributor objects to her speaking? It’s his money and since I assume he is in possession of a working yiddishe kup why should he stand by and subsidize the rantings of a mad woman? I believe he asked for equal time. When that was denied he said he was gone. It certainly got their attention. I don’t know what part of the Talmud where “Whose wine I drink whose song I sing” is but that’s the way the real world works. If other members object to this I am sure there are other shuls that will gladly welcome them
At my daughter’s reception following her wedding I banned light beer in general and all Anheuser Busch products in particular. When asked why I said because it was my party. “OK”, said the manager.
If you can imagine a more “stifling” experience than to have 2 men, men with badges, guns, and the full majesty of the law, knock on your door and say that they want to “discuss” what I had written about and to then Florida legislator Debbie Wasserman Schultz, AKA Little Debbie, please share it with me.
On September 18, 2001 Agent Thomas and Agent Mineva of the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, came to “talk” to me about my writings.
I can never keep it straight.
Which came first? The chilling effect or the slippery slope?
One of the lasting benefits of being born and raised in Bayonne, NJ is that you know that there are no lost episodes of The Honeymooners or the long time running hit, Good Cop/Bad Cop.
Agent Thomas told me “loved” my letters. Further, he said that everyone in his office “loved” them too. When I asked Agent Mineva, “leading the witness” would best describe it, if I should stop writing to Little Debbie he quickly answered “Yes”. He then said, and my hand is raised to God, “it would be better for all if I stopped writing to all public officials”.
Little Debbie doesn’t like to be reminded that she is the paradigmatic template, as good a modern American Liberal bit of Sophistry as can be found in the mAL dictionary, of a horse’s ass. In her case I’ll make it mare’s ass.
Mel Brooks was right when his royal character in “History of the World” looks at the camera and says, “It’s good to be King”. Gender concessions are allowed. Little Debbie then sends 2 policemen to my house, effectively making them her “piss boys”, to “stifle” me.
It is tough being a policeman. We ask them to shield us from the more feral occupants of society. We ask them to operate under rules that favor the culprit rather than the constable. We tsk our tongues when they prove human.
Little Debbie says she has 2 degrees in Political Science. To claim so and have no knowledge, none, of the History of Political Speech and its attendant search for freedom would suggest that her degrees are from the Little Haiti School of Proctology. To say that she knows about rights that are ours from “beyond the stars” would be a lie of monstrous proportions. It is if she says she loves Bach but has never heard of the cello.
Today marks the 19th anniversary of my last gunfight. The first police officer was dead before he hit the ground. The second one, shot from less than 10 feet in the sternum by a .357 Magnum, lived to dance with my daughter at her wedding. I suppose if those two policemen had been “stifling” people who believe that “Congress shall make no law,” they wouldn’t have been shot.
She should be flogged. The ordure of “non-malodorus fecal matter syndrome”, a condition common to modern American Liberals, might yet be scourged from her.
Kevin Smith
Letter to the Editor
The Sun Sentinel
RE: “Stifle” – Memories of Edith Bunker leap to mind but I shall beat them back – Some comments on your editorial of 5/30/12 entitled “Wrong to Stifle Wasserman Schultz”.
Sirs,
If, as you say editorially, if it is ”wrong to stifle Wasserman Schultz” as you imply Temple Israel did by canceling her speech because a big contributor objected, would not Logic dictate that it would be wrong for her to try to “stifle” anyone? She is by the standards pronounced in the Sullivan case [newspapers, remember?] as public a person as can be imaginable. Moreover, the “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune” should fall like gentle rain from her toughened hide, shouldn’t it?
The day abounds with “teachable moments”.
Welcome to the world of Constitutional History.
The First Amendment is as clear as a straight up, bone dry Tanqueray martini. “Congress shall make no law…” cannot be stretched to read “Temple Israel shall make no law…” The monitum, “make no law”, cannot even be extended to the Sun Sentinel. Although you are a company operating under the aegis and gimlet eye of a Federal Bankruptcy Judge he can neither make you print something nor can he prohibit you from printing something.
In the case of the temple why should you be shocked if a major contributor objects to her speaking? It’s his money and since I assume he is in possession of a working yiddishe kup why should he stand by and subsidize the rantings of a mad woman? I believe he asked for equal time. When that was denied he said he was gone. It certainly got their attention. I don’t know what part of the Talmud where “Whose wine I drink whose song I sing” is but that’s the way the real world works. If other members object to this I am sure there are other shuls that will gladly welcome them
At my daughter’s reception following her wedding I banned light beer in general and all Anheuser Busch products in particular. When asked why I said because it was my party. “OK”, said the manager.
If you can imagine a more “stifling” experience than to have 2 men, men with badges, guns, and the full majesty of the law, knock on your door and say that they want to “discuss” what I had written about and to then Florida legislator Debbie Wasserman Schultz, AKA Little Debbie, please share it with me.
On September 18, 2001 Agent Thomas and Agent Mineva of the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, came to “talk” to me about my writings.
I can never keep it straight.
Which came first? The chilling effect or the slippery slope?
One of the lasting benefits of being born and raised in Bayonne, NJ is that you know that there are no lost episodes of The Honeymooners or the long time running hit, Good Cop/Bad Cop.
Agent Thomas told me “loved” my letters. Further, he said that everyone in his office “loved” them too. When I asked Agent Mineva, “leading the witness” would best describe it, if I should stop writing to Little Debbie he quickly answered “Yes”. He then said, and my hand is raised to God, “it would be better for all if I stopped writing to all public officials”.
Little Debbie doesn’t like to be reminded that she is the paradigmatic template, as good a modern American Liberal bit of Sophistry as can be found in the mAL dictionary, of a horse’s ass. In her case I’ll make it mare’s ass.
Mel Brooks was right when his royal character in “History of the World” looks at the camera and says, “It’s good to be King”. Gender concessions are allowed. Little Debbie then sends 2 policemen to my house, effectively making them her “piss boys”, to “stifle” me.
It is tough being a policeman. We ask them to shield us from the more feral occupants of society. We ask them to operate under rules that favor the culprit rather than the constable. We tsk our tongues when they prove human.
Little Debbie says she has 2 degrees in Political Science. To claim so and have no knowledge, none, of the History of Political Speech and its attendant search for freedom would suggest that her degrees are from the Little Haiti School of Proctology. To say that she knows about rights that are ours from “beyond the stars” would be a lie of monstrous proportions. It is if she says she loves Bach but has never heard of the cello.
Today marks the 19th anniversary of my last gunfight. The first police officer was dead before he hit the ground. The second one, shot from less than 10 feet in the sternum by a .357 Magnum, lived to dance with my daughter at her wedding. I suppose if those two policemen had been “stifling” people who believe that “Congress shall make no law,” they wouldn’t have been shot.
She should be flogged. The ordure of “non-malodorus fecal matter syndrome”, a condition common to modern American Liberals, might yet be scourged from her.
Kevin Smith
Monday, June 4, 2012
Secretary Janet Napolitano Department of Homeland Security
June 2, 2012
Secretary Janet Napolitano
Department of Homeland Security
Washington, DC 20528
RE: Thanks!
Madame Secretary,
Thanks for telling me to come in from the rain. It makes all the difference in the world, particularly if you want to stay dry.
I suggest that one simple way to reduce both the deficit and the anxiety level of the average American would be to change the length of the hurricane season. Instead of June 1 to November 30 how about July 4th to Halloween?
Again, I almost can’t tell you how grateful I am for the inside info on staying dry when it rains.
Who says government doesn’t work?
Kevin Smith
Secretary Janet Napolitano
Department of Homeland Security
Washington, DC 20528
RE: Thanks!
Madame Secretary,
Thanks for telling me to come in from the rain. It makes all the difference in the world, particularly if you want to stay dry.
I suggest that one simple way to reduce both the deficit and the anxiety level of the average American would be to change the length of the hurricane season. Instead of June 1 to November 30 how about July 4th to Halloween?
Again, I almost can’t tell you how grateful I am for the inside info on staying dry when it rains.
Who says government doesn’t work?
Kevin Smith
Robert Watson, Ph.D. American Studies Program Lynn University
June 3, 2012
Robert Watson, Ph.D.
American Studies Program
Lynn University
3601 N. Military Trail
Boca Raton, FL 33431
RE: The Hindenberg as a “teachable moment” – Some comments on your op-ed in today’s Sun Sentinel
My dear Professor,
First, “God is in the details”. [You may wish to insert your own choice for an all knowing individual. It is still a bit early, even for one consumed by solipsism such as Lord Barack the Beneficent to install himself as the supreme intelligent design simian-like watch maker, however.]
“Lakehurst, America’s first international airport” ain’t quite true. It’s akin to being a little bit pregnant. That Lakehurst was America’s first international airport for dirigibles there can be no doubt. It is both a distinction and a difference.
When I was in the drilling business – oil & gas, no teeth – in my Sisyphean task to become a one percenter I recall seeing some mineral leases on properties in Oklahoma. The standard API lease, one that is still in use, had more than adequate space for exclusions. Helium was always excluded from leases on Oklahoma properties. At the time almost all recoverable helium was in Oklahoma.
The reason why the Hindenberg exploded into flames after crashing was because the United States would not sell helium to Germany. Helium was considered to be a natural resource vital to the defense of our country and was not exported.
When the Hindenberg crashed, hydrogen, a most volatile gas, burst into flames. If it had been filled with helium it still would have crashed but would not have burst into flames.
I mention this because a “teachable moment” is upon us.
The Secretary of Defense, Leon Panetta, is in Vietnam. One of his stops will be at Cam Ranh Bay. It has the physical attributes to be one of the great naval bases in the Pacific. Indeed, the United States Navy thought so.
The official reason is to coordinate the ongoing search for American MIAs. The real reason is to remind China that the Pacific Ocean is not a lake.
Some old White guy said that there are no permanent allies, that there are no permanent enemies, but that there are “permanent interests”.
I know that there is a lot of oil in the waters surrounding China.
The world has not seen a navy grow like China’s since the Germans and the Japanese in the 1920s and 1930s, notwithstanding the noble Nobel Prizes awarded to Kellogg and Briand for saying nay.
2,500 United States Marines are now based in Australia
In the coming years the only legitimate threat to China’s growing like Topsy navy will be the United States. Marines in Australia and Cam Ranh Bay as a homeport to some of those big ass American carriers, some of those nasty nuclear armed frigates, and a few hunter/killer submarines and…who knows.
I think the word in Chinese for Vietnam is “further south”
As I said, a truly teachable moment.
Kevin Smith
Robert Watson, Ph.D.
American Studies Program
Lynn University
3601 N. Military Trail
Boca Raton, FL 33431
RE: The Hindenberg as a “teachable moment” – Some comments on your op-ed in today’s Sun Sentinel
My dear Professor,
First, “God is in the details”. [You may wish to insert your own choice for an all knowing individual. It is still a bit early, even for one consumed by solipsism such as Lord Barack the Beneficent to install himself as the supreme intelligent design simian-like watch maker, however.]
“Lakehurst, America’s first international airport” ain’t quite true. It’s akin to being a little bit pregnant. That Lakehurst was America’s first international airport for dirigibles there can be no doubt. It is both a distinction and a difference.
When I was in the drilling business – oil & gas, no teeth – in my Sisyphean task to become a one percenter I recall seeing some mineral leases on properties in Oklahoma. The standard API lease, one that is still in use, had more than adequate space for exclusions. Helium was always excluded from leases on Oklahoma properties. At the time almost all recoverable helium was in Oklahoma.
The reason why the Hindenberg exploded into flames after crashing was because the United States would not sell helium to Germany. Helium was considered to be a natural resource vital to the defense of our country and was not exported.
When the Hindenberg crashed, hydrogen, a most volatile gas, burst into flames. If it had been filled with helium it still would have crashed but would not have burst into flames.
I mention this because a “teachable moment” is upon us.
The Secretary of Defense, Leon Panetta, is in Vietnam. One of his stops will be at Cam Ranh Bay. It has the physical attributes to be one of the great naval bases in the Pacific. Indeed, the United States Navy thought so.
The official reason is to coordinate the ongoing search for American MIAs. The real reason is to remind China that the Pacific Ocean is not a lake.
Some old White guy said that there are no permanent allies, that there are no permanent enemies, but that there are “permanent interests”.
I know that there is a lot of oil in the waters surrounding China.
The world has not seen a navy grow like China’s since the Germans and the Japanese in the 1920s and 1930s, notwithstanding the noble Nobel Prizes awarded to Kellogg and Briand for saying nay.
2,500 United States Marines are now based in Australia
In the coming years the only legitimate threat to China’s growing like Topsy navy will be the United States. Marines in Australia and Cam Ranh Bay as a homeport to some of those big ass American carriers, some of those nasty nuclear armed frigates, and a few hunter/killer submarines and…who knows.
I think the word in Chinese for Vietnam is “further south”
As I said, a truly teachable moment.
Kevin Smith
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Mayor Richard Kaplan
May 30, 2012
Mayor Richard Kaplan
5581 West Oakland Park Boulevard
Lauderhill, FL 33313
RE: It’s not easy being green. It’s easy being stupid.
Mr. Mayor,
“Anticipating a green future, Mayor Richard Kaplan wants to make
sure new homes built in the city can accommodate electric car chargers and
solar roof panels without their owners having to pay for costly retrofits.”
The Sun Sentinel
May 29, 2012
At last, at last, Milton Friedman notwithstanding, there is such a thing as a free lunch.
Just when I think the bottom has been reached, just when I think “it” can’t get much worse, just when I think that the number of horses’ asses is coming back into balance with the number of horses’ heads [Shouldn’t those numbers always be equal?}
a modern American Liberal in a public position steps up and says something so stupendously, egregiously stupid that Guinness must create a new category of public boobery.
#1 – “One million [1,000,000] electric cars by 2015” – Mayor Kaplan
Some people shouldn’t drink gin in the morning. You, for instance. In fact, Listerine has too much alcohol for you. Here’s some more really useful information for you. Sharp instruments? Heavy machinery? Avoid them like a pulled pork sandwich on Shabbos.
The only chance of getting to one million [1,000,000] electric cars by 2015 will come from the Bankruptcy Court giving the tax loss carry forward of Solyndra to a to be formed consortium of Match Box Cars and Tonka Trucks so they can finance 28 hour a day, 8 days a week construction of those cute little puppies.
#2 – The fastest way to Go Green and Get Green in Lauderhill is to turn off the air conditioning at City Hall. Start with your office. Then go the office dispensing permits.
Next stop, the tax collection office
. Any place that has a Florida Power and Light meter recording the wasteful burning of fossil fuels, the 7 League Boot Carbon Footprint destruction of the ozone layer and the sacred Rain Forest, the explosion of soon-to-be-clubbed to death baby seals since the polar bears drowning because of Global Warming guarantees that there is nothing left to eat them, inter alia – Did I mention teenage obesity, bullying, and the heartbreak of psoriasis? - is to have its plug pulled post haste, cold turkey, and double quick.
Open the windows. Hydrate. Hydrate.
Here’s a bonus.
It will save the manatees and lead to a “fairer” tax system.
All you have to do you ohmadahn, you Brobdanaglian boob, is to hit the off switch.
Fame, glory, and automatic induction into the modern American Liberal Hall of Fame is within your grasp.
Kevin Smith
PS – If a Florida Power & Light meter buying electricity from consumers sends a near orgasmic tingle up your leg why not harness teenage overweight bullies to a treadmill hooked up to the city’s main meter? You won’t need a photo ID to identify them. In addition to being so big that if they step on their cat’s tail it dies they are always on the lookout for kids younger than they are to give them Noogies. The Law of Unintended Consequences says that only good things can happen. Fat kids get skinny; bullied kids don’t get bullied; FP&L owes you money. “The voice of the turtle will be heard in the land.”
Mayor Richard Kaplan
5581 West Oakland Park Boulevard
Lauderhill, FL 33313
RE: It’s not easy being green. It’s easy being stupid.
Mr. Mayor,
“Anticipating a green future, Mayor Richard Kaplan wants to make
sure new homes built in the city can accommodate electric car chargers and
solar roof panels without their owners having to pay for costly retrofits.”
The Sun Sentinel
May 29, 2012
At last, at last, Milton Friedman notwithstanding, there is such a thing as a free lunch.
Just when I think the bottom has been reached, just when I think “it” can’t get much worse, just when I think that the number of horses’ asses is coming back into balance with the number of horses’ heads [Shouldn’t those numbers always be equal?}
a modern American Liberal in a public position steps up and says something so stupendously, egregiously stupid that Guinness must create a new category of public boobery.
#1 – “One million [1,000,000] electric cars by 2015” – Mayor Kaplan
Some people shouldn’t drink gin in the morning. You, for instance. In fact, Listerine has too much alcohol for you. Here’s some more really useful information for you. Sharp instruments? Heavy machinery? Avoid them like a pulled pork sandwich on Shabbos.
The only chance of getting to one million [1,000,000] electric cars by 2015 will come from the Bankruptcy Court giving the tax loss carry forward of Solyndra to a to be formed consortium of Match Box Cars and Tonka Trucks so they can finance 28 hour a day, 8 days a week construction of those cute little puppies.
#2 – The fastest way to Go Green and Get Green in Lauderhill is to turn off the air conditioning at City Hall. Start with your office. Then go the office dispensing permits.
Next stop, the tax collection office
. Any place that has a Florida Power and Light meter recording the wasteful burning of fossil fuels, the 7 League Boot Carbon Footprint destruction of the ozone layer and the sacred Rain Forest, the explosion of soon-to-be-clubbed to death baby seals since the polar bears drowning because of Global Warming guarantees that there is nothing left to eat them, inter alia – Did I mention teenage obesity, bullying, and the heartbreak of psoriasis? - is to have its plug pulled post haste, cold turkey, and double quick.
Open the windows. Hydrate. Hydrate.
Here’s a bonus.
It will save the manatees and lead to a “fairer” tax system.
All you have to do you ohmadahn, you Brobdanaglian boob, is to hit the off switch.
Fame, glory, and automatic induction into the modern American Liberal Hall of Fame is within your grasp.
Kevin Smith
PS – If a Florida Power & Light meter buying electricity from consumers sends a near orgasmic tingle up your leg why not harness teenage overweight bullies to a treadmill hooked up to the city’s main meter? You won’t need a photo ID to identify them. In addition to being so big that if they step on their cat’s tail it dies they are always on the lookout for kids younger than they are to give them Noogies. The Law of Unintended Consequences says that only good things can happen. Fat kids get skinny; bullied kids don’t get bullied; FP&L owes you money. “The voice of the turtle will be heard in the land.”
Monday, May 28, 2012
Steven L. Goldstein The Sun-Sentinel
May 28, 2012
Steven L. Goldstein
The Sun-Sentinel
My dear Professor,
If, as you write, “Apathy is the enemy of the electorate” how would you describe the people of North Carolina voting against same sex marriage by a 61 to 39 margin?
If memory serves, same sex marriage has been on ballots in 32 states. [I add as an aside that referendums, along with its much beloved twin initiatives, were the darlings of modern American Liberals for a long time.] Not one state – California included – has voted for it.
Is that apathy?
If you could outlaw outlaw out-of-state contributions from groups like the NRA would the same restrictions apply to NARAL or Emily’s List? When the President charges $40,000 for a one legged chicken dinner do you think all that money stays in one state?
In a typical display of modern American Logic it is OK to ban something, anything as long as the right things are the only things banned. It might be ignorance or it might be apathy that makes modern American Liberals begin every political conversation with a rock in one hand and a cudgel in the other.
I quote Frank Layden, a great American, who said ”I don’t know and I don’t care”.
Kevin Smith
warriorbardit@bellsouth.net
PS – You must be reading the Debbie Wasserman-Schultz play book. She compares apples to oranges to coconuts. I never thought she was dumb. Maybe she’s spending too much time with Curley Biden. You say that “apathy is the mother of extremism [and] extremism is the father of disempowerment”. Wazupwidat? You rale against “partisan gerrymandering”. How about “non-partisan gerrymandering”? How else would felon Alcee Hastings have gotten to Congress save for having a district created that would have sent Nat Turner, Step-n-Fetchit, H. Rap Brown, or O.J. Simpson to the House?
Ain’t this a great country?
Steven L. Goldstein
The Sun-Sentinel
My dear Professor,
If, as you write, “Apathy is the enemy of the electorate” how would you describe the people of North Carolina voting against same sex marriage by a 61 to 39 margin?
If memory serves, same sex marriage has been on ballots in 32 states. [I add as an aside that referendums, along with its much beloved twin initiatives, were the darlings of modern American Liberals for a long time.] Not one state – California included – has voted for it.
Is that apathy?
If you could outlaw outlaw out-of-state contributions from groups like the NRA would the same restrictions apply to NARAL or Emily’s List? When the President charges $40,000 for a one legged chicken dinner do you think all that money stays in one state?
In a typical display of modern American Logic it is OK to ban something, anything as long as the right things are the only things banned. It might be ignorance or it might be apathy that makes modern American Liberals begin every political conversation with a rock in one hand and a cudgel in the other.
I quote Frank Layden, a great American, who said ”I don’t know and I don’t care”.
Kevin Smith
warriorbardit@bellsouth.net
PS – You must be reading the Debbie Wasserman-Schultz play book. She compares apples to oranges to coconuts. I never thought she was dumb. Maybe she’s spending too much time with Curley Biden. You say that “apathy is the mother of extremism [and] extremism is the father of disempowerment”. Wazupwidat? You rale against “partisan gerrymandering”. How about “non-partisan gerrymandering”? How else would felon Alcee Hastings have gotten to Congress save for having a district created that would have sent Nat Turner, Step-n-Fetchit, H. Rap Brown, or O.J. Simpson to the House?
Ain’t this a great country?
Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz Democratic National Committee
May 28, 2012
Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
Democratic National Committee
430 S. Capitol Street, SE
Washington, DC 20003
RE: Redskins & Injuns, feather merchants, and why after the first lie there are no others.
Dearest Darling Little Debbie, Debbie,
In my bid to reach across the aisle, to show a sense of compromise that, Thank God, is still lacking in Congress, to show you that I really, really care I was going to gently, oh so gently, admonish you for some of your more recent gaffes.
Your attempts to make Joe “Curley” Biden sound like he knows what he is talking about are admirable. After all, that boob is but a heartbeat away from the ultimate RESET button. Do you remember when Julianne Malveaux prayed that Justice Clarence Thomas’s wife feed him heavy cream, fried foods, and give him lard in an IV in the hopes that the racist sickness of hypertension might kill him? Maybe the Koch Brothers have taken over the White House mess. In this instance “mess” means kitchen, not the general state of things. Maybe they have hookers servicing the Secret Service while one of their thugs pours gravy – taking a cue from Hamlet - in the Dumbolike ears of B.O.
Since I do these things with a velvet glove, a wry sense of humor, a spot on knowledge of Political Science, History, and Literature – things of which you have zero familiarity, let alone knowledge – and a Flashman-like sangfroid of the dangers of getting on your bad side – Remember, you sicced the coppers on me – I know you look forward to my little notes.
Your comments on apples, oranges, and that reliable old chestnut, coconuts, are beyond the universe of sniggering. You make Professor Irwin Corey sound like Sir John Gielgud reading from the Book of Common Prayer.
Your premise on Venture Capital, the one that says it is evil while simultaneously saying taking campaign contributions from card carrying Venture Capitalists is good, shows that modern American Liberal shills need constant chiropractic care. As soon as flip-flopping becomes an Olympic sport the first team will be assembled from Democratic gun slingers. Gray’s Anatomy will have to be rewritten when X-ray evidence of a lumbar/thoracic convulsion akin to a Slinky going up a down escalator is revealed. The ability to remove your own tonsils from the inside, while it may well be an admirable trait, is not a prerequisite for public punditry.
The latest lightning bolt from Ground Zero on the economy, like taking dating etiquette lessons from Mary Magdalene, says that Venture Capital produces wealth without jobs. The country knows how to produce jobs without wealth. It’s called the United States Post Office. With the exception of George Soros it is a truism that creating wealth also creates jobs. I suggest the example of FedEx as one that did both. Anyone who says the opposite deserves to have his/her face on a piñata.
Wait a minute!
Somebody’s face is on a piñata.
The Republican Governor of South Carolina, a woman of color, had her face attached to a piñata at a Democratic Party picnic. As the state Chairlady hit her SEIU thugs yelled “Raghead”, “Dothead”, and “WOG”. I kept waiting for “Macaca”, the ultimate insult, but I did not hear it. Would those words make it a hate crime?
When Congresswoman Gabriela Giffords was shot you concluded a la Sherlock Holmes that the reason for this crime was Right-Wing radio in general, Rush Limbaugh in particular, and the aura of hate fueled by the Tea Party. Your silence about the racistl assault on Governor Haley must be judged by the Latin adage “qui tacet consentire”. Silence gives consent.
Logic must dictate that you are content as long as the basher is a Democrat and the bashee is a Republican. It really is easy to be modern American Liberal. As soon as you make plaid your favorite color the rest is easy.
These things I will not do today.
I am declaring a unilateral truce – no conditions, none whatsoever – because obviously no one has told you that your guy, President Barack Hussein Obama, Lord Barack the Beneficent to his close friends, wants children, particularly children of color whose Moms are single parenst, to drown.
When you were a Florida legislator you, in the parlance on modern American Liberals, “led the fight” against toddlers drowning. I think it was the leading cause of death for children in Broward County under the age of 5. Since it is obvious that women and minorities suffer disproportionately from every villain caused epidemic of social ills the number of African-American children who drowned here was staggering.
You sponsored legislation requiring bottom drain covers, lines separating the shallow from the deep, fences, and yet more rescue devices.
It was obvious that your Italianate hand was guiding this administration’s legislative and regulatory attempts to ban both bullying and drowning.
The President, by suspending enforcement of the rules governing pools, just made a calculated political decision that the country could afford a few more minority drownings as long as he got the votes of the people who own pools. A case could be made for the Koch Brothers having gotten to him. That’s the Chicago Way, isn’t it?
I am positive that if you knew this you would blow the top off the Capitol dome.
How could you do otherwise?
T.E. Lawrence once said “Not much can be gotten from a sure victory but there is much to be gained from a sure defeat”.
I am typing this about 12 yards from my pool.
Bring your reporters and their cameras.
Challenge the President to reverse his racially cruel ruling.
Debbie, Debbie in the next edition of “Profiles in Courage” has a nice ring to it.
After all, it’s for the children.
Kevin Smith
PS – I feel sooooo good! I went a whole note without once mentioning Elizabeth Warren AKA Princess Lying Sack of Bison Dung. I have it on unimpeachable authority that Manitou is very pissed off at her. Also, Mammon and Lucre, the Gods of Venture Capital want to know whose fingerprints are on Solyndra as it is officially FUBAR. [FUBAR? Send a SASE]
Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
Democratic National Committee
430 S. Capitol Street, SE
Washington, DC 20003
RE: Redskins & Injuns, feather merchants, and why after the first lie there are no others.
Dearest Darling Little Debbie, Debbie,
In my bid to reach across the aisle, to show a sense of compromise that, Thank God, is still lacking in Congress, to show you that I really, really care I was going to gently, oh so gently, admonish you for some of your more recent gaffes.
Your attempts to make Joe “Curley” Biden sound like he knows what he is talking about are admirable. After all, that boob is but a heartbeat away from the ultimate RESET button. Do you remember when Julianne Malveaux prayed that Justice Clarence Thomas’s wife feed him heavy cream, fried foods, and give him lard in an IV in the hopes that the racist sickness of hypertension might kill him? Maybe the Koch Brothers have taken over the White House mess. In this instance “mess” means kitchen, not the general state of things. Maybe they have hookers servicing the Secret Service while one of their thugs pours gravy – taking a cue from Hamlet - in the Dumbolike ears of B.O.
Since I do these things with a velvet glove, a wry sense of humor, a spot on knowledge of Political Science, History, and Literature – things of which you have zero familiarity, let alone knowledge – and a Flashman-like sangfroid of the dangers of getting on your bad side – Remember, you sicced the coppers on me – I know you look forward to my little notes.
Your comments on apples, oranges, and that reliable old chestnut, coconuts, are beyond the universe of sniggering. You make Professor Irwin Corey sound like Sir John Gielgud reading from the Book of Common Prayer.
Your premise on Venture Capital, the one that says it is evil while simultaneously saying taking campaign contributions from card carrying Venture Capitalists is good, shows that modern American Liberal shills need constant chiropractic care. As soon as flip-flopping becomes an Olympic sport the first team will be assembled from Democratic gun slingers. Gray’s Anatomy will have to be rewritten when X-ray evidence of a lumbar/thoracic convulsion akin to a Slinky going up a down escalator is revealed. The ability to remove your own tonsils from the inside, while it may well be an admirable trait, is not a prerequisite for public punditry.
The latest lightning bolt from Ground Zero on the economy, like taking dating etiquette lessons from Mary Magdalene, says that Venture Capital produces wealth without jobs. The country knows how to produce jobs without wealth. It’s called the United States Post Office. With the exception of George Soros it is a truism that creating wealth also creates jobs. I suggest the example of FedEx as one that did both. Anyone who says the opposite deserves to have his/her face on a piñata.
Wait a minute!
Somebody’s face is on a piñata.
The Republican Governor of South Carolina, a woman of color, had her face attached to a piñata at a Democratic Party picnic. As the state Chairlady hit her SEIU thugs yelled “Raghead”, “Dothead”, and “WOG”. I kept waiting for “Macaca”, the ultimate insult, but I did not hear it. Would those words make it a hate crime?
When Congresswoman Gabriela Giffords was shot you concluded a la Sherlock Holmes that the reason for this crime was Right-Wing radio in general, Rush Limbaugh in particular, and the aura of hate fueled by the Tea Party. Your silence about the racistl assault on Governor Haley must be judged by the Latin adage “qui tacet consentire”. Silence gives consent.
Logic must dictate that you are content as long as the basher is a Democrat and the bashee is a Republican. It really is easy to be modern American Liberal. As soon as you make plaid your favorite color the rest is easy.
These things I will not do today.
I am declaring a unilateral truce – no conditions, none whatsoever – because obviously no one has told you that your guy, President Barack Hussein Obama, Lord Barack the Beneficent to his close friends, wants children, particularly children of color whose Moms are single parenst, to drown.
When you were a Florida legislator you, in the parlance on modern American Liberals, “led the fight” against toddlers drowning. I think it was the leading cause of death for children in Broward County under the age of 5. Since it is obvious that women and minorities suffer disproportionately from every villain caused epidemic of social ills the number of African-American children who drowned here was staggering.
You sponsored legislation requiring bottom drain covers, lines separating the shallow from the deep, fences, and yet more rescue devices.
It was obvious that your Italianate hand was guiding this administration’s legislative and regulatory attempts to ban both bullying and drowning.
The President, by suspending enforcement of the rules governing pools, just made a calculated political decision that the country could afford a few more minority drownings as long as he got the votes of the people who own pools. A case could be made for the Koch Brothers having gotten to him. That’s the Chicago Way, isn’t it?
I am positive that if you knew this you would blow the top off the Capitol dome.
How could you do otherwise?
T.E. Lawrence once said “Not much can be gotten from a sure victory but there is much to be gained from a sure defeat”.
I am typing this about 12 yards from my pool.
Bring your reporters and their cameras.
Challenge the President to reverse his racially cruel ruling.
Debbie, Debbie in the next edition of “Profiles in Courage” has a nice ring to it.
After all, it’s for the children.
Kevin Smith
PS – I feel sooooo good! I went a whole note without once mentioning Elizabeth Warren AKA Princess Lying Sack of Bison Dung. I have it on unimpeachable authority that Manitou is very pissed off at her. Also, Mammon and Lucre, the Gods of Venture Capital want to know whose fingerprints are on Solyndra as it is officially FUBAR. [FUBAR? Send a SASE]
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Assemblyman John McKeon, Esq.
May 27, 2012
Assemblyman John McKeon, Esq.
250 Main Street
Madison, NJ 07940
RE: Déjà vu, déjà vu, damn that déjà vu
Assemblyman McKeon,
Flash back 20 years ago.
“Knock, knock”
“Who’s there”?
“Me” – In this case “me” is “you”
You were running for something in West Orange and your handlers told you to knock on some doors. You knocked on mine.
As was my wont, and much to my wife’s chagrin, I invited you in. Anyone who knocked on my door, aluminum siding salesmen, Jehovah’s Witnesses, beggars from PIRG, knife sharpening peripatetic Gypsies, - no exceptions – they were all invited in. Even politicians
One part of our conversation has stayed with me for 20 years.
You said that the key to a strong real estate market, both commercial and residential, was a “good” rent control law.
Jeepers, I thought, maybe he hit his head this morning. Maybe he took his wife’s pills. Maybe he thought he was talking to a nit-wit. Worse, maybe he thought he was talking to a fellow nit-wit.
I asked if any subjective criteria, things like equity, CPI, occupancy, taxes, capital improvement, interest rates, would apply.
“Absolutely”, you said.
Please accept the gently chastening admonishment in the Christian spirit in which it is offered.
“HUH”?
A law, any law, being interpreted subjectively?
You may wish to familiarize yourself with The Law of the Constitution by A.V. Dicey. Doubtless, you will be the first in your legislative caucus and probably in your law firm, to become familiar with it. He has some comments on the Rule of Law that still ring true
After you left my wife asked who you were. I paraphrased Samuel Johnson. “The man’s a boob and that’s an end to it.”
Fast forward 20 years.
I open NJ.com every morning to check on the Irish sports pages AKA the obituaries. Recognizing no names I move on to Paul Mulshine.
It would seem that you have gotten dumber over the years.
If your bio info is correct you were 12 years old when the weather crisis du jour
was Global Cooling. A multi-degreed wing nut named Paul Ehrlich predicted, and on national TV to boot, that we would either freeze to death or starve to death by 2000. Your photo says “I am well fed”. It is 88 degrees in Florida.
Que paso?
Perhaps it is time to come to Jesus. Beginning in the late ‘70s I would end my morning ablutions by opening the bath room window and squeezing off a few rounds from my Right Guard deodorant can. It was the least I could do to call attention to the hole in the Ozone layer. It was my way of Acting Locally while Thinking Globally.
I am sure you can remember when it was “settled science” that tomatoes were poisonous, when Ptolemy was top dog in the astronomy world, and when supposedly rational adults thought that rent control worked. I just looked it up. Wisconsin won the 2000 Rose Bowl, the one that supposed to played on ice skates by staving student athletes.
May I suggest that you set an example for your constituents? If ozone depletion, drowning polar bears, carbon foot prints, and the continued misuse of fossil fuels really bother you turn off your air conditioner. All of your air conditioners. Office, home, and cars even if theyt run on manatee eructations.
Talk is cheap. Walk the walk.
It’s probably too late for you.
Dr. Johnson and I were right.
There is no rehab for boobs. Many of you wind up in elected bodies. The only benefit there is that adults can keep an eye on you.
Kevin Smith
Assemblyman John McKeon, Esq.
250 Main Street
Madison, NJ 07940
RE: Déjà vu, déjà vu, damn that déjà vu
Assemblyman McKeon,
Flash back 20 years ago.
“Knock, knock”
“Who’s there”?
“Me” – In this case “me” is “you”
You were running for something in West Orange and your handlers told you to knock on some doors. You knocked on mine.
As was my wont, and much to my wife’s chagrin, I invited you in. Anyone who knocked on my door, aluminum siding salesmen, Jehovah’s Witnesses, beggars from PIRG, knife sharpening peripatetic Gypsies, - no exceptions – they were all invited in. Even politicians
One part of our conversation has stayed with me for 20 years.
You said that the key to a strong real estate market, both commercial and residential, was a “good” rent control law.
Jeepers, I thought, maybe he hit his head this morning. Maybe he took his wife’s pills. Maybe he thought he was talking to a nit-wit. Worse, maybe he thought he was talking to a fellow nit-wit.
I asked if any subjective criteria, things like equity, CPI, occupancy, taxes, capital improvement, interest rates, would apply.
“Absolutely”, you said.
Please accept the gently chastening admonishment in the Christian spirit in which it is offered.
“HUH”?
A law, any law, being interpreted subjectively?
You may wish to familiarize yourself with The Law of the Constitution by A.V. Dicey. Doubtless, you will be the first in your legislative caucus and probably in your law firm, to become familiar with it. He has some comments on the Rule of Law that still ring true
After you left my wife asked who you were. I paraphrased Samuel Johnson. “The man’s a boob and that’s an end to it.”
Fast forward 20 years.
I open NJ.com every morning to check on the Irish sports pages AKA the obituaries. Recognizing no names I move on to Paul Mulshine.
It would seem that you have gotten dumber over the years.
If your bio info is correct you were 12 years old when the weather crisis du jour
was Global Cooling. A multi-degreed wing nut named Paul Ehrlich predicted, and on national TV to boot, that we would either freeze to death or starve to death by 2000. Your photo says “I am well fed”. It is 88 degrees in Florida.
Que paso?
Perhaps it is time to come to Jesus. Beginning in the late ‘70s I would end my morning ablutions by opening the bath room window and squeezing off a few rounds from my Right Guard deodorant can. It was the least I could do to call attention to the hole in the Ozone layer. It was my way of Acting Locally while Thinking Globally.
I am sure you can remember when it was “settled science” that tomatoes were poisonous, when Ptolemy was top dog in the astronomy world, and when supposedly rational adults thought that rent control worked. I just looked it up. Wisconsin won the 2000 Rose Bowl, the one that supposed to played on ice skates by staving student athletes.
May I suggest that you set an example for your constituents? If ozone depletion, drowning polar bears, carbon foot prints, and the continued misuse of fossil fuels really bother you turn off your air conditioner. All of your air conditioners. Office, home, and cars even if theyt run on manatee eructations.
Talk is cheap. Walk the walk.
It’s probably too late for you.
Dr. Johnson and I were right.
There is no rehab for boobs. Many of you wind up in elected bodies. The only benefit there is that adults can keep an eye on you.
Kevin Smith
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Dan Becker Dan Gerstenzang The Miami Herald
May 25, 2012
Dan Becker
Dan Gerstenzang
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 33132-169
RE: In praise of Global Warming – some comments about article in today’s Miami Herald that combines the enticing smell of “Rainbow Stew”, the captivating aura of “Balloon Juice”, and the astonishing ability of Horses’ Asses of the modern American Liberal stable to overlook facts, ignore History, and do great damage to Logic.
Sirs,
See if you can follow this. I’ll type slowly.
A bit more than a millennium ago the earth experienced an upward spike in temperature. That means it got hotter. Here comes the good part. More land became arable. [Have you ever wondered how Greenland got its name?] Protein became more abundant. People got smarter. Voila! The Renaissance! Please don’t tell me that you have a problem with Dante.
Hark back to the halcyon days of the ‘70s. The impending doom du jour was, and I am not kidding, was Global Cooling. An academic ohmadahn of Homeric proportions, Paul Ehrlich, PhD, told that the race was on to see if we would freeze to death or starve to death by the year 2000. [He proclaimed that the main culprit in this was the Roman Catholic Church but that’s a different story.] Empirical evidence would suggest that he was 0 for 2 on both predictions. In the world of pseudo-science populated by fakers who want to change pi from 3.1416 to 3.0 to raise the self-esteem of failing Geometry\students that doesn’t ever raise a yawn. What counts for these snake oil salesmen are the intentions of the predictor, not the results or the facts.
Going through your not quite unctuous scratchings I find many of the usual suspects.
#1 – “…carbon dioxide, the main global warming pollutant…” One of the first things learned in high school biology is photosynthesis. The end result of all those plants doing something with chloroform is…is…carbon dioxide. If CO2 is bad would not Logic dictate that the Amazon Rain Forest has to go and I mean right quick. Napalm, Agent Orange, Neutron bombs, whatever is at our disposal. After all, we only have one world, right? Brazil might be upset but omelets don’t grow on tree. We have got to crack a hellacious amount of eggs. Start now.
#2 – “fighting climate change” – Since I am on the cutting edge of climatology I must tell you that I have found a new sorcerer. He is, forgive me, a true Renaissance man. Professor Antonio Vivaldi tells of the phenomenal effects of, are you ready, climate change. I suggest you become familiar with him and his works.
#3 – “COAL” – Here is a local solution for a global problem. Half the electricity produced in this country comes from burning coal. Half the electricity produced in this country is used for air conditioning. The two of you look like bright guys. Can you see where I am going with this? I have been asking the Miami Herald since 1997.to turn off its air conditioning. No foreplay, no transition. Just hit the off switch. Dismantle the units. Sell the copper tubes for scrap; Give the money to the undeserving poor. Gaia will love you. Open the windows. Get hand held and hand operated fans from the local funeral parlors. On really, really hot days the serendipitous bonus will be much needed cardiovascular exercises. Plus, no carbon footprint. A win,win,win all around.
#4 – “Financing” – Your plan seems to involve all the fun parts of Solyndra, fur lined sinks, 50/50s to cure the deficit, bake sales to keep the Mandarin moneylenders content, and multi-level marketing.
A – Doubtless, you have signed the backs of paychecks. You have never signed the front of one.
B – As soon as you said “performance contracts are like magic wands” I dropped my spoon. I dropped it intentionally. Thank God I saw that the laws governing gravity had not been repealed. When I reaffirmed my long held belief that “rocks are hard and water is wet” I was able to continue on with the rest of my day.
#5 – My grandfather, the legendary Jack Smith, went to his grave with one huge unanswered question. Why are there more horses’ asses than horses’ heads? At birth the number is equal. I am trying to channel him a la Hillary Clinton and Eleanor Roosevelt. If I can get to him I’ll tell him to read your article.
Since we are speaking of asses let me go from equine to bi-pod. Here’s a pop quiz. It’s an open book test.
Bend over. Put both hands behind you. Try to find your ass.
Report back when you do.
Kevin Smith
Dan Becker
Dan Gerstenzang
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 33132-169
RE: In praise of Global Warming – some comments about article in today’s Miami Herald that combines the enticing smell of “Rainbow Stew”, the captivating aura of “Balloon Juice”, and the astonishing ability of Horses’ Asses of the modern American Liberal stable to overlook facts, ignore History, and do great damage to Logic.
Sirs,
See if you can follow this. I’ll type slowly.
A bit more than a millennium ago the earth experienced an upward spike in temperature. That means it got hotter. Here comes the good part. More land became arable. [Have you ever wondered how Greenland got its name?] Protein became more abundant. People got smarter. Voila! The Renaissance! Please don’t tell me that you have a problem with Dante.
Hark back to the halcyon days of the ‘70s. The impending doom du jour was, and I am not kidding, was Global Cooling. An academic ohmadahn of Homeric proportions, Paul Ehrlich, PhD, told that the race was on to see if we would freeze to death or starve to death by the year 2000. [He proclaimed that the main culprit in this was the Roman Catholic Church but that’s a different story.] Empirical evidence would suggest that he was 0 for 2 on both predictions. In the world of pseudo-science populated by fakers who want to change pi from 3.1416 to 3.0 to raise the self-esteem of failing Geometry\students that doesn’t ever raise a yawn. What counts for these snake oil salesmen are the intentions of the predictor, not the results or the facts.
Going through your not quite unctuous scratchings I find many of the usual suspects.
#1 – “…carbon dioxide, the main global warming pollutant…” One of the first things learned in high school biology is photosynthesis. The end result of all those plants doing something with chloroform is…is…carbon dioxide. If CO2 is bad would not Logic dictate that the Amazon Rain Forest has to go and I mean right quick. Napalm, Agent Orange, Neutron bombs, whatever is at our disposal. After all, we only have one world, right? Brazil might be upset but omelets don’t grow on tree. We have got to crack a hellacious amount of eggs. Start now.
#2 – “fighting climate change” – Since I am on the cutting edge of climatology I must tell you that I have found a new sorcerer. He is, forgive me, a true Renaissance man. Professor Antonio Vivaldi tells of the phenomenal effects of, are you ready, climate change. I suggest you become familiar with him and his works.
#3 – “COAL” – Here is a local solution for a global problem. Half the electricity produced in this country comes from burning coal. Half the electricity produced in this country is used for air conditioning. The two of you look like bright guys. Can you see where I am going with this? I have been asking the Miami Herald since 1997.to turn off its air conditioning. No foreplay, no transition. Just hit the off switch. Dismantle the units. Sell the copper tubes for scrap; Give the money to the undeserving poor. Gaia will love you. Open the windows. Get hand held and hand operated fans from the local funeral parlors. On really, really hot days the serendipitous bonus will be much needed cardiovascular exercises. Plus, no carbon footprint. A win,win,win all around.
#4 – “Financing” – Your plan seems to involve all the fun parts of Solyndra, fur lined sinks, 50/50s to cure the deficit, bake sales to keep the Mandarin moneylenders content, and multi-level marketing.
A – Doubtless, you have signed the backs of paychecks. You have never signed the front of one.
B – As soon as you said “performance contracts are like magic wands” I dropped my spoon. I dropped it intentionally. Thank God I saw that the laws governing gravity had not been repealed. When I reaffirmed my long held belief that “rocks are hard and water is wet” I was able to continue on with the rest of my day.
#5 – My grandfather, the legendary Jack Smith, went to his grave with one huge unanswered question. Why are there more horses’ asses than horses’ heads? At birth the number is equal. I am trying to channel him a la Hillary Clinton and Eleanor Roosevelt. If I can get to him I’ll tell him to read your article.
Since we are speaking of asses let me go from equine to bi-pod. Here’s a pop quiz. It’s an open book test.
Bend over. Put both hands behind you. Try to find your ass.
Report back when you do.
Kevin Smith
Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz Democratic National Committee
May 26, 2012
Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
Democratic National Committee
430 S. Capitol Street, SE
Washington, DC 20003
RE: Be civil, damnit, or I’ll smack you.
Dearest Darling Debbie, Debbie,
First, a personal question.
You know how I hate it when bad things happen to good people.
I read where the FDIC has reprimanded the Community Bank of Broward. Bad loans, not enough reserves, shoddy earnings, questionable accounting practices…all things that the 1% do very well. I hope I’m wrong but isn’t that the bank that your husband is an officer and director of? Wasn’t that the bank that you did a midnight transfer for a few years back? I say “midnight” because you hoped everybody was sleeping and wouldn’t notice. At the heart of the matter you used the government as a short cut to personal profit and familial aggrandizement. That bank. That husband.
I am not sure whether you inspired Congresswoman Maxine Waters or you learned from her. It would be fair to say, at least in Congress, that there is honor among thieves.
Like I said, I hate it when bad things happen to good people.
If I am wrong allow me to offer a modern American Liberal apology. I am sorry but only if I offended anyone, particularly women and minorities.
But that’s not why I write.
When Congresswoman Gabriela Giffords was shot you leapt to the nearest open microphone with such élan that the prototypical modern American Liberal newshound, Senator Chuck U. Schumer, was impressed. Like a hog sniffing a truffle he can find a red camera light and an open mike in the next zip code.
You said that we must tone down our Rhetoric – You should have said Sophistry but since you have no knowledge, none, of Political Science or the place where such things were begun that I will grant you an indulgence because of invincible ignorance – because it was self-evident that she was shot because of hate filled talk radio, rabid Tea
Party partisans, the Koch Brothers, and that old reliable modern American Liberal piñata, Fox News.
It’s possible that with your busy schedule you didn’t know that the United States Attorney, a person who was appointed by President Obama, in Phoenix has decided that it would be impossible to prosecute the shooter.
The main reason is simple: He has snakes for brains.
He is neither able to understand the charges against him nor is he able to assist in his own defense. The Constitution mentions those Rights. [I always thought it passing strange that those Rights did not extend to Arkansas. The case of Ricky Ray Rector is like a turd in the punch bowl. It pops up at the worst time. I am still trying to find out if Hillary Rodham Clinton gave him a lap dance in the electric chair to keep him quiescent as he was being wired up to a dozen 12 volt batteries. Too bad that Ricky didn’t have a RESET button.] His life now consists of being in a room with a door with no inside handle; He appears to have mastered the art of one hand clapping. He spends most days packed in dry ice. For good behavior he gets a Thnorazine enema.
I mention the above because whatever drum the shooter marched to, it was not played by Rush Limbaugh.
Speaking of “civility”, did you see the video tape of South Carolina Democratic Party officials bashing a piñata? What made this different was that a picture of the Governor of South Carolina was on the piñata as a target. Every time the bat was swung the people at the party yelled “Raghead”.
The Governor of South Carolina is Nikki Haley. With the possible exception of Professor Pocohantas Warren, a liar soon to be employed as a greeter at the Mohegan Sun Casino, there is no more Indian woman in America. Professor Munchausen Warren bases her claim on 2 things. She put a recipe for poached soft shell crab with a remoulade sauce served on a bed of arugula, braised chard, and endives served with Corton Charlemagne into a cook book filled with recipes from her great, great, great, grandmother. The other proof is that Grammy’s beau, Long Knife, AKA Death to the Round Eyes, ate Custer’s heart.
Governor Halley looks like someone that Kipling wrote about. She doesn’t look like someone who has lived a lie all her life and has benefited greatly from it. In that regard Princess SummerFallWinterlLiar is the perfect role model for modern American Liberalism. She is like a car skidding on an icy street. The only thing that will stop her is the lamp post or the fire truck coming through the intersection.
Does “raghead” turn a political prank into a hate crime? Should some demented 99 percenter hit her with a bat would the Occupy Wall Street mob be culpable? How much liability would land at the feet of Bill Maher? How about George Soros?
That’s the problem with civility and free speech. It’s a two edged sword.
One of my favorite rabbis, Nat Hentoff, wrote a book entitled “Free Speech for Me but Not for Thee”.
It’s been some time since I’ve written to you. I hope you haven’t forgotten me.
If Curley Biden, a man for the term Wing Nut Moon Bat Loon was invented, gets any crazier are you going to allow him to go out in public?
Please don’t send the cops after me again.
Kevin Smith
Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
Democratic National Committee
430 S. Capitol Street, SE
Washington, DC 20003
RE: Be civil, damnit, or I’ll smack you.
Dearest Darling Debbie, Debbie,
First, a personal question.
You know how I hate it when bad things happen to good people.
I read where the FDIC has reprimanded the Community Bank of Broward. Bad loans, not enough reserves, shoddy earnings, questionable accounting practices…all things that the 1% do very well. I hope I’m wrong but isn’t that the bank that your husband is an officer and director of? Wasn’t that the bank that you did a midnight transfer for a few years back? I say “midnight” because you hoped everybody was sleeping and wouldn’t notice. At the heart of the matter you used the government as a short cut to personal profit and familial aggrandizement. That bank. That husband.
I am not sure whether you inspired Congresswoman Maxine Waters or you learned from her. It would be fair to say, at least in Congress, that there is honor among thieves.
Like I said, I hate it when bad things happen to good people.
If I am wrong allow me to offer a modern American Liberal apology. I am sorry but only if I offended anyone, particularly women and minorities.
But that’s not why I write.
When Congresswoman Gabriela Giffords was shot you leapt to the nearest open microphone with such élan that the prototypical modern American Liberal newshound, Senator Chuck U. Schumer, was impressed. Like a hog sniffing a truffle he can find a red camera light and an open mike in the next zip code.
You said that we must tone down our Rhetoric – You should have said Sophistry but since you have no knowledge, none, of Political Science or the place where such things were begun that I will grant you an indulgence because of invincible ignorance – because it was self-evident that she was shot because of hate filled talk radio, rabid Tea
Party partisans, the Koch Brothers, and that old reliable modern American Liberal piñata, Fox News.
It’s possible that with your busy schedule you didn’t know that the United States Attorney, a person who was appointed by President Obama, in Phoenix has decided that it would be impossible to prosecute the shooter.
The main reason is simple: He has snakes for brains.
He is neither able to understand the charges against him nor is he able to assist in his own defense. The Constitution mentions those Rights. [I always thought it passing strange that those Rights did not extend to Arkansas. The case of Ricky Ray Rector is like a turd in the punch bowl. It pops up at the worst time. I am still trying to find out if Hillary Rodham Clinton gave him a lap dance in the electric chair to keep him quiescent as he was being wired up to a dozen 12 volt batteries. Too bad that Ricky didn’t have a RESET button.] His life now consists of being in a room with a door with no inside handle; He appears to have mastered the art of one hand clapping. He spends most days packed in dry ice. For good behavior he gets a Thnorazine enema.
I mention the above because whatever drum the shooter marched to, it was not played by Rush Limbaugh.
Speaking of “civility”, did you see the video tape of South Carolina Democratic Party officials bashing a piñata? What made this different was that a picture of the Governor of South Carolina was on the piñata as a target. Every time the bat was swung the people at the party yelled “Raghead”.
The Governor of South Carolina is Nikki Haley. With the possible exception of Professor Pocohantas Warren, a liar soon to be employed as a greeter at the Mohegan Sun Casino, there is no more Indian woman in America. Professor Munchausen Warren bases her claim on 2 things. She put a recipe for poached soft shell crab with a remoulade sauce served on a bed of arugula, braised chard, and endives served with Corton Charlemagne into a cook book filled with recipes from her great, great, great, grandmother. The other proof is that Grammy’s beau, Long Knife, AKA Death to the Round Eyes, ate Custer’s heart.
Governor Halley looks like someone that Kipling wrote about. She doesn’t look like someone who has lived a lie all her life and has benefited greatly from it. In that regard Princess SummerFallWinterlLiar is the perfect role model for modern American Liberalism. She is like a car skidding on an icy street. The only thing that will stop her is the lamp post or the fire truck coming through the intersection.
Does “raghead” turn a political prank into a hate crime? Should some demented 99 percenter hit her with a bat would the Occupy Wall Street mob be culpable? How much liability would land at the feet of Bill Maher? How about George Soros?
That’s the problem with civility and free speech. It’s a two edged sword.
One of my favorite rabbis, Nat Hentoff, wrote a book entitled “Free Speech for Me but Not for Thee”.
It’s been some time since I’ve written to you. I hope you haven’t forgotten me.
If Curley Biden, a man for the term Wing Nut Moon Bat Loon was invented, gets any crazier are you going to allow him to go out in public?
Please don’t send the cops after me again.
Kevin Smith
Friday, May 25, 2012
DUTY HONOR COUNTRY
This month marks the 50th anniversary of the last public speech of General Douglas MacArthur. It was given at the United States Military Academy at West Point from where he was graduated and later served as Superintendent. His audience was the Corps of Cadets. His theme was simple.
We ask men to become part of something greater than themselves. We ask them to volunteer to become a counterweight on the scales that free men must always bring back into balance, into harmony.
One of these men was Corporal Leonard W. Putnam, my wife Amy’s uncle.
On May 25, 1945 “in the Pacific area” as his scroll says, a 42 year old piano salesman from Jersey City, NJ was hit by a Japanese mortar shell. Eye witnesses tell of the upper right quadrant of his body being blown up and away from the rest of him.
In the song “Young Willie McBride” a question is asked at the headstone of a 19 year old Tommy. “Was it quick and clean or was it slow and obscene”?
Corporal Putnam was dead before the rest of him hit the ground.
I’ve been doing these tributes since 1997. He and his wife had no children. It was my attempt to keep his name alive. This is the first time that Corporal Putnam’s niece, my wife Amy, is not here with her handy blue pencil.
She had more than a passing interest in my efforts what with both the Japanese Navy and the German Navy trying to sink the ship her father served on as a surgeon. It is worth noting that the “RESET” button that the Kellogg-Briand Naval Treaty, a treaty that earned its architects Nobel Peace Prizes did not work. It proved to be no impediment to war. A case can be made for it hastening it.
In Macarthur’s speech he says that the American soldier has “drained deep the chalice of courage”.
A bit of homework revealed that Amy’s cousin, Andy Safner, was about 100 miles North of Okinawa on May 25, 1945. He was a radio man on a Destroyer Escort. His job was simple. His ship, slow and not well armored, had one job. It was to be the little yapping dog that wakes up the big dogs. His ship was the first American Naval vessel to encounter incoming Kamikazes. They were offered up as bait. The more the little ships engaged the kimonoed killers the better it was for the bigger ships, especially the carriers. Andy earned the naval equivalent of the Combat Infantryman’s Badge, an honor given only to those who have been engaged in armed combat with the enemy. Several of his shipmates had been killed by Kamikaze attacks. He had “seen the elephant”.
In what has become a story unique to America, in a tribute to “American Exceptionalism”, Andy came back from combat to a bartender’s job at Amy’s grandfather’s saloon. He went to college at night to earn a degree in accounting. Before becoming a partner in a Big 8 accounting firm he married Alice Ozimek and they lived happily ever after.
In the 35 years that I knew him we spoke of many things. 10Ks, Tax Court, kids, debits and credits, inter alia. He never once spoke of his time on the razor’s edge of life, of death. The wheel, having turned in his favor, was never mentioned.
Sipping also from the “chalice of courage” was my uncle John who went everywhere that MacArthur went. The first time he fired at the Japanese his rifle was 39 years old. A glass is raised to my uncle Frank. He made 3 forced landings. He learned that, yes, you can eat flies.
A glass of whisky, to be precise, a glass of single malt whisky, is raised to Dennis Greenhough. He enlisted at the age of 17 in the Royal Warwickshire Regiment at Manchester, England. He landed on Sword Beach on D-Day. He too was wounded by artillery. When he was mustered out he was a Captain.
My uncle Adam, a Scot of some note, said that “more good has come from an inn than any other invention of mankind”. I met Pink in a saloon in Antigua in 1979. We celebrated the coming of Lady Thatcher and the certain arrival of the great Reagan. He was with Barrie Cooper who had also “taken the King’s shilling” but for a later conflict.
I mentioned MacArthur’s speech to a friend in Massachusetts. He told me that he will be burying his father-in-law in June in the cemetery at West Point. Both were graduated from West Point. Both were Colonels. Both were combat veterans. Both will be together for all time.
From a corporal on Okinawa to two field grade officers in the same grave the sacred chain that MacArthur spoke of, “the long gray line”, is made clear yet again.
“In their youth their hearts were touched by fire”
My job, “to remember them with honour”, is simple.
KS
I add two names: A teammate, Greg Koch, and a fraternity brother, Bill Sauer.
God rest their souls
We ask men to become part of something greater than themselves. We ask them to volunteer to become a counterweight on the scales that free men must always bring back into balance, into harmony.
One of these men was Corporal Leonard W. Putnam, my wife Amy’s uncle.
On May 25, 1945 “in the Pacific area” as his scroll says, a 42 year old piano salesman from Jersey City, NJ was hit by a Japanese mortar shell. Eye witnesses tell of the upper right quadrant of his body being blown up and away from the rest of him.
In the song “Young Willie McBride” a question is asked at the headstone of a 19 year old Tommy. “Was it quick and clean or was it slow and obscene”?
Corporal Putnam was dead before the rest of him hit the ground.
I’ve been doing these tributes since 1997. He and his wife had no children. It was my attempt to keep his name alive. This is the first time that Corporal Putnam’s niece, my wife Amy, is not here with her handy blue pencil.
She had more than a passing interest in my efforts what with both the Japanese Navy and the German Navy trying to sink the ship her father served on as a surgeon. It is worth noting that the “RESET” button that the Kellogg-Briand Naval Treaty, a treaty that earned its architects Nobel Peace Prizes did not work. It proved to be no impediment to war. A case can be made for it hastening it.
In Macarthur’s speech he says that the American soldier has “drained deep the chalice of courage”.
A bit of homework revealed that Amy’s cousin, Andy Safner, was about 100 miles North of Okinawa on May 25, 1945. He was a radio man on a Destroyer Escort. His job was simple. His ship, slow and not well armored, had one job. It was to be the little yapping dog that wakes up the big dogs. His ship was the first American Naval vessel to encounter incoming Kamikazes. They were offered up as bait. The more the little ships engaged the kimonoed killers the better it was for the bigger ships, especially the carriers. Andy earned the naval equivalent of the Combat Infantryman’s Badge, an honor given only to those who have been engaged in armed combat with the enemy. Several of his shipmates had been killed by Kamikaze attacks. He had “seen the elephant”.
In what has become a story unique to America, in a tribute to “American Exceptionalism”, Andy came back from combat to a bartender’s job at Amy’s grandfather’s saloon. He went to college at night to earn a degree in accounting. Before becoming a partner in a Big 8 accounting firm he married Alice Ozimek and they lived happily ever after.
In the 35 years that I knew him we spoke of many things. 10Ks, Tax Court, kids, debits and credits, inter alia. He never once spoke of his time on the razor’s edge of life, of death. The wheel, having turned in his favor, was never mentioned.
Sipping also from the “chalice of courage” was my uncle John who went everywhere that MacArthur went. The first time he fired at the Japanese his rifle was 39 years old. A glass is raised to my uncle Frank. He made 3 forced landings. He learned that, yes, you can eat flies.
A glass of whisky, to be precise, a glass of single malt whisky, is raised to Dennis Greenhough. He enlisted at the age of 17 in the Royal Warwickshire Regiment at Manchester, England. He landed on Sword Beach on D-Day. He too was wounded by artillery. When he was mustered out he was a Captain.
My uncle Adam, a Scot of some note, said that “more good has come from an inn than any other invention of mankind”. I met Pink in a saloon in Antigua in 1979. We celebrated the coming of Lady Thatcher and the certain arrival of the great Reagan. He was with Barrie Cooper who had also “taken the King’s shilling” but for a later conflict.
I mentioned MacArthur’s speech to a friend in Massachusetts. He told me that he will be burying his father-in-law in June in the cemetery at West Point. Both were graduated from West Point. Both were Colonels. Both were combat veterans. Both will be together for all time.
From a corporal on Okinawa to two field grade officers in the same grave the sacred chain that MacArthur spoke of, “the long gray line”, is made clear yet again.
“In their youth their hearts were touched by fire”
My job, “to remember them with honour”, is simple.
KS
I add two names: A teammate, Greg Koch, and a fraternity brother, Bill Sauer.
God rest their souls
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Steven L. Goldstein The Sun Sentinel
May 10, 2012
Steven L. Goldstein
The Sun Sentinel
My dear Professor,
Could it be a Damascus moment?
There can be no doubt that same sex marriages must be in the Democratic platform this year. Not to do so would be an intellectual and moral disaster. Further, it would be malfeasance of the highest order to have the convention in North Carolina. Bite the bullet, remembering that the first markdown is always the cheapest. Have Curley Biden – named in honor of the smartest stooge – go back on Sunday TV and say Adios, Tar Heels.
There will be some economic consequences but that’s wyt you have a Shovel Ready Summer of Recovery Stimulus Program.
There will be no disruption. The answer lies in your devotion to pure democracy.
Every delegate gets a laptop. Use some bandwidth and satellites to broadcast it. Have some honorary delegate posts: The Mission district of San Francisco, the Stonewall in Greenwich Village, [Fire Island if it goes into overtime] and Provincetown, MA for its summer breezes. Have RuPaul be the Master of Ceremonies with some catchy tunes from La Cage aux Folles. NAMBLA can have a national TV audience featuring them and the world famous Dancing Boys of Islam.
On the final night have one of those mass weddings that everyone so enjoyed when the Reverend Moon was in his prime. A thousand men wearing gowns and a thousand women wearing white tie and tails. Unlike a Chinese takeaway the option of one from each column will not be available. No mixing and matching. The only option is two from one column. As a run up to the big night you could have “Say Yes to the Dress” and “Bridezilla” fans discussing tax policy, nuclear waste disposal, and what to do with “bitter clingers”.
If you follow my suggestions – I’ll really flesh them out over the weekend – it will be the most successful convention since Caligua married his horse. The election will be called off. Lord Barack the Beneficent will be proclaimed Emperor Barack the Sublime. A Profile in Courage awaits the first to go into the pool.
The American people are ready for this. By the end of the year we’ll all wonder what the fuss was about.
In case you are wondering why I have become so fertile it is because I am with my granddaughters in Texas. Although I have not yet found a BAR in tip-top working condition I am training my Texas ladies in snake handling, axe throwing, speed loading,
The Federalist Papers, identity theft, refuting Darwin, helot stalking, the difference between whiskey and whisky, and why modern American Liberals will soon be an endangered species.
They will probably rank above the Delhi smelt but behind the legendary dervish lousewort.
We live in exciting times.
Kool-Aid is being prepared in record amounts. Not only will these nit-wits drink it they will set up IVs and enemas for the infirm.
In the secular humanist world inhabited by heads up their ass modern American Liberals, all of whom are suffering from “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”, I am soon to be like Alexander the Great. He cried when he realized there were no more worlds to conquer.
Vaya con dios, piñata..
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Steven L. Goldstein
The Sun Sentinel
My dear Professor,
Could it be a Damascus moment?
There can be no doubt that same sex marriages must be in the Democratic platform this year. Not to do so would be an intellectual and moral disaster. Further, it would be malfeasance of the highest order to have the convention in North Carolina. Bite the bullet, remembering that the first markdown is always the cheapest. Have Curley Biden – named in honor of the smartest stooge – go back on Sunday TV and say Adios, Tar Heels.
There will be some economic consequences but that’s wyt you have a Shovel Ready Summer of Recovery Stimulus Program.
There will be no disruption. The answer lies in your devotion to pure democracy.
Every delegate gets a laptop. Use some bandwidth and satellites to broadcast it. Have some honorary delegate posts: The Mission district of San Francisco, the Stonewall in Greenwich Village, [Fire Island if it goes into overtime] and Provincetown, MA for its summer breezes. Have RuPaul be the Master of Ceremonies with some catchy tunes from La Cage aux Folles. NAMBLA can have a national TV audience featuring them and the world famous Dancing Boys of Islam.
On the final night have one of those mass weddings that everyone so enjoyed when the Reverend Moon was in his prime. A thousand men wearing gowns and a thousand women wearing white tie and tails. Unlike a Chinese takeaway the option of one from each column will not be available. No mixing and matching. The only option is two from one column. As a run up to the big night you could have “Say Yes to the Dress” and “Bridezilla” fans discussing tax policy, nuclear waste disposal, and what to do with “bitter clingers”.
If you follow my suggestions – I’ll really flesh them out over the weekend – it will be the most successful convention since Caligua married his horse. The election will be called off. Lord Barack the Beneficent will be proclaimed Emperor Barack the Sublime. A Profile in Courage awaits the first to go into the pool.
The American people are ready for this. By the end of the year we’ll all wonder what the fuss was about.
In case you are wondering why I have become so fertile it is because I am with my granddaughters in Texas. Although I have not yet found a BAR in tip-top working condition I am training my Texas ladies in snake handling, axe throwing, speed loading,
The Federalist Papers, identity theft, refuting Darwin, helot stalking, the difference between whiskey and whisky, and why modern American Liberals will soon be an endangered species.
They will probably rank above the Delhi smelt but behind the legendary dervish lousewort.
We live in exciting times.
Kool-Aid is being prepared in record amounts. Not only will these nit-wits drink it they will set up IVs and enemas for the infirm.
In the secular humanist world inhabited by heads up their ass modern American Liberals, all of whom are suffering from “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”, I am soon to be like Alexander the Great. He cried when he realized there were no more worlds to conquer.
Vaya con dios, piñata..
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Steven L. Goldstein The Sun Sentinel
May 10, 2012
Steven L. Goldstein
The Sun Sentinel
My dear Professor,
When asked if he had changed his mind the great Lord Keynes, an economist more cited than read, said “Of course. I change my mind when the facts change. Don’t you?”
In my little note to you dated 4/28/12 I said “Here’s a good sign for you. I have the same position on same sex marriage as the President.”
He changed his mind not because the facts, those damned inconvenient things, changed but rather because his ohmadanish horse’s ass of a Vice President opened his mouth and stepped on his tongue. I haven’t changed my mind.
The American voting public has the same position as I have. Every time, in every section of the country, when the issue of same sex marriage has appeared on a ballot the American public, in a democratic manner that you previously have praised, have voted same sex marriages down ranging from decisively to overwhelmingly. I think in the wonderland of true democracy, a world that two weeks ago you tumescently yearned for, the people, doubtless lizards all, have spoken.
The Internet, and a special shout out of thanks to its inventor Alpha Gump, can provide us with a test of the public will. Yea or Nay. Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve.
Isn’t that what you said on 4/29/12 was the best of all possible worlds? After all, the people united can never be defeated, right?
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Steven L. Goldstein
The Sun Sentinel
My dear Professor,
When asked if he had changed his mind the great Lord Keynes, an economist more cited than read, said “Of course. I change my mind when the facts change. Don’t you?”
In my little note to you dated 4/28/12 I said “Here’s a good sign for you. I have the same position on same sex marriage as the President.”
He changed his mind not because the facts, those damned inconvenient things, changed but rather because his ohmadanish horse’s ass of a Vice President opened his mouth and stepped on his tongue. I haven’t changed my mind.
The American voting public has the same position as I have. Every time, in every section of the country, when the issue of same sex marriage has appeared on a ballot the American public, in a democratic manner that you previously have praised, have voted same sex marriages down ranging from decisively to overwhelmingly. I think in the wonderland of true democracy, a world that two weeks ago you tumescently yearned for, the people, doubtless lizards all, have spoken.
The Internet, and a special shout out of thanks to its inventor Alpha Gump, can provide us with a test of the public will. Yea or Nay. Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve.
Isn’t that what you said on 4/29/12 was the best of all possible worlds? After all, the people united can never be defeated, right?
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Hillary Clinton Secretary of State
May 10, 2012
Hillary Clinton
Secretary of State
2201 C Street NW
Washington, DC 20520
RE: At last, the RESET button [Mandarin version] is working.
Madame Secretary,
You were opposed to the entry of Wal-Mart into the American banking business when you were in the Senate even though you once were a member of its Board of Directors. That was when your husband was the Governor of Arkansas.
In re the Keystone Pipeline, the President has said that he will wait until the State Department finishes its assessment of the foreign policy effects, the nexus of business and diplomacy being obvious.
I read this morning of the Federal Reserve “clearing a takeover of a US bank by a Chinese state-controlled company”.
Was the State Department made aware of this?
If not, why not?
If you were, were your comments made public?
If not, why not?
Since I can find no record of your department commenting on it I must assume that the adage “silence gives consent” applies.
Would you be so kind as to tell me why you, when you were a Senator, were opposed to Wal-Mart, as American a company as can be imagined, while you stand mute when the Chinese government enters our banking business?
Will the rules governing American owned banks apply equally to Chinese government owned banks? Specifically, will they be subject to the FDIC and state banking regs? Will they be subject to Congressional oversight? In the event of a law suit will the Chinese government, not the Chinese and/or American managers, respond in a United States Court or will they claim diplomatic immunity?
Perhaps we should think about a swap of Treasury obligations held by the Chinese government for some American entities. Why not Camp Gitmo? They are very experienced in locking people up. Besides, who can beat the weather? If not Gitmo how about Vieques? Detroit and the Everglades leap to mind. Ceding Santa Catalina and Martha’s Vineyard to the Uighurs for some cancelled T-Bills would show that we stand with the 99%.
As to your hair, I think you are old enough and scarred enough for you to wear it any way you want. Since I am follicley challenged I prefer floppy mullets. Who says the wet look is dead?
In anticipation of the courtesy of a prompt and complete reply I remain
Sincerely,
Kevin Smith
Hillary Clinton
Secretary of State
2201 C Street NW
Washington, DC 20520
RE: At last, the RESET button [Mandarin version] is working.
Madame Secretary,
You were opposed to the entry of Wal-Mart into the American banking business when you were in the Senate even though you once were a member of its Board of Directors. That was when your husband was the Governor of Arkansas.
In re the Keystone Pipeline, the President has said that he will wait until the State Department finishes its assessment of the foreign policy effects, the nexus of business and diplomacy being obvious.
I read this morning of the Federal Reserve “clearing a takeover of a US bank by a Chinese state-controlled company”.
Was the State Department made aware of this?
If not, why not?
If you were, were your comments made public?
If not, why not?
Since I can find no record of your department commenting on it I must assume that the adage “silence gives consent” applies.
Would you be so kind as to tell me why you, when you were a Senator, were opposed to Wal-Mart, as American a company as can be imagined, while you stand mute when the Chinese government enters our banking business?
Will the rules governing American owned banks apply equally to Chinese government owned banks? Specifically, will they be subject to the FDIC and state banking regs? Will they be subject to Congressional oversight? In the event of a law suit will the Chinese government, not the Chinese and/or American managers, respond in a United States Court or will they claim diplomatic immunity?
Perhaps we should think about a swap of Treasury obligations held by the Chinese government for some American entities. Why not Camp Gitmo? They are very experienced in locking people up. Besides, who can beat the weather? If not Gitmo how about Vieques? Detroit and the Everglades leap to mind. Ceding Santa Catalina and Martha’s Vineyard to the Uighurs for some cancelled T-Bills would show that we stand with the 99%.
As to your hair, I think you are old enough and scarred enough for you to wear it any way you want. Since I am follicley challenged I prefer floppy mullets. Who says the wet look is dead?
In anticipation of the courtesy of a prompt and complete reply I remain
Sincerely,
Kevin Smith
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
On the burial of Colonel Roy Bowlin, Jr. Class of 1944, with his father Colonel Roy Bowlin, Sr. Class of 1917, at the United States Military Academy as told to me by his son-in-law, Tom Fiedler after I sent him a copy of Douglas MacArthur’s 1962 farewell speech at West Point
May 8, 2012
RE: On the burial of Colonel Roy Bowlin, Jr. Class of 1944, with his father Colonel Roy Bowlin, Sr. Class of 1917, at the United States Military Academy as told to me by his son-in-law, Tom Fiedler after I sent him a copy of Douglas MacArthur’s 1962 farewell speech at West Point
Dear Tom,
3 generations of Smiths - Grandfather, son, and grandson – would travel each year to West Point to watch Army play football.
A spell binding surprise was Macarthur’s speech – the speech – being broadcast continuously in front of the library.
The voice, the words, the diction, the pauses, the bridges, the rising tempo – I have not heard its like since.
“When Pericles spoke people said how well he speaks.
When Demosthenes spoke people said ‘Let us march’.”
1961, 1962, 1964. Years with great speeches.
The first and the last were calls to action.
MacArthur’s was a celebration of and a reminder to the young men present of the permanent things. The first thing was that they were part of something greater than themselves. Their chosen profession – no one gets drafted to West Point – may require them to take the soldier’s chance. From Homer to Kipling we stand in awe of the choices they take.
I saw “Top Gun” when it came out in the ‘80s. I got a copy of “The Bridges of Toko-Ri” for comparison’s sake. Better story, better action, much better looking lady – game, set, and match to the 1950s.
“Why us, Sergeant? Why us?” asks the young recruit of the company Colour Sergeant at Rorke’s Drift in the movie “Zulu”. “Because we’re here, boy. Because we’re here.”
At the end of “The Bridges of Toko-Ri” the Admiral asks “Where do we find such men”?
The Army promised my Uncle John that he would be home for Christmas, 1941. He got back to Jersey City in 1946. Everywhere MacArthur went he went with him. The first time he fired back at the Japanese his rifle was 39 years old. He was wounded at Leyte Gulf. He had a ticket on the Tokyo Express with an ETA in November, 1945. He was buried with his mates, the men with whom he had served, in 2001.
Your wife’s father will lie like a hero surrounded by other heroes. I risk one toe over the line of maudlin but a case could be made for his father saying, “I’ve been waiting for you”. Achilles, Caesar, Martell, Cervantes, Nelson, Sherman, Patton, and now the two Colonel Bowlins join the long line of warriors whose job was not the making of wars but the fighting of them.
It’s time to start putting together my May 25th note to Corporal Leonard Putnam. He was a 42 year old piano salesman whose name was added to the butcher’s bill “in the Pacific region”. He died on Okinawa about 10 weeks short of Hiroshima. He is buried in the Punch Bowl in Hawaii surrounded by fellow heroes. He and Aunt Millie had no children. Amy, his niece, won’t be here this year. Nobody else knows about him. My job is simple.
“Where do we find such men”?
Praise God we never have to need them and not have them.
KS
RE: On the burial of Colonel Roy Bowlin, Jr. Class of 1944, with his father Colonel Roy Bowlin, Sr. Class of 1917, at the United States Military Academy as told to me by his son-in-law, Tom Fiedler after I sent him a copy of Douglas MacArthur’s 1962 farewell speech at West Point
Dear Tom,
3 generations of Smiths - Grandfather, son, and grandson – would travel each year to West Point to watch Army play football.
A spell binding surprise was Macarthur’s speech – the speech – being broadcast continuously in front of the library.
The voice, the words, the diction, the pauses, the bridges, the rising tempo – I have not heard its like since.
“When Pericles spoke people said how well he speaks.
When Demosthenes spoke people said ‘Let us march’.”
1961, 1962, 1964. Years with great speeches.
The first and the last were calls to action.
MacArthur’s was a celebration of and a reminder to the young men present of the permanent things. The first thing was that they were part of something greater than themselves. Their chosen profession – no one gets drafted to West Point – may require them to take the soldier’s chance. From Homer to Kipling we stand in awe of the choices they take.
I saw “Top Gun” when it came out in the ‘80s. I got a copy of “The Bridges of Toko-Ri” for comparison’s sake. Better story, better action, much better looking lady – game, set, and match to the 1950s.
“Why us, Sergeant? Why us?” asks the young recruit of the company Colour Sergeant at Rorke’s Drift in the movie “Zulu”. “Because we’re here, boy. Because we’re here.”
At the end of “The Bridges of Toko-Ri” the Admiral asks “Where do we find such men”?
The Army promised my Uncle John that he would be home for Christmas, 1941. He got back to Jersey City in 1946. Everywhere MacArthur went he went with him. The first time he fired back at the Japanese his rifle was 39 years old. He was wounded at Leyte Gulf. He had a ticket on the Tokyo Express with an ETA in November, 1945. He was buried with his mates, the men with whom he had served, in 2001.
Your wife’s father will lie like a hero surrounded by other heroes. I risk one toe over the line of maudlin but a case could be made for his father saying, “I’ve been waiting for you”. Achilles, Caesar, Martell, Cervantes, Nelson, Sherman, Patton, and now the two Colonel Bowlins join the long line of warriors whose job was not the making of wars but the fighting of them.
It’s time to start putting together my May 25th note to Corporal Leonard Putnam. He was a 42 year old piano salesman whose name was added to the butcher’s bill “in the Pacific region”. He died on Okinawa about 10 weeks short of Hiroshima. He is buried in the Punch Bowl in Hawaii surrounded by fellow heroes. He and Aunt Millie had no children. Amy, his niece, won’t be here this year. Nobody else knows about him. My job is simple.
“Where do we find such men”?
Praise God we never have to need them and not have them.
KS
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