Posts
August 12, 2012
Gary Stein
The Sun-Sentinel
RE: “A Republic, if you can keep it.” - Some comments on the theory posited by you that plaid is the favorite color, the only possible color, of card carrying modern American Liberals when discussing the Constitution in today’s screed in the Sun-Sentinel.
Big Stein,
I know. I know.
You missed me.
In order to avoid the Obamacare Death Panels I chose to have elective surgery last month. A few things happened post-op that prevented me from administering several well deserved floggings for your perpetual use of tautologies taken directly from the sacred script of modern American Liberalism.
I am back because of your typically eclectic m. A.L. interpretation of the Constitution. Also, your subtle, 12 volt battery through the window, suggestion that knuckle dragging, gun loving Tea Partiers having never read the damn thing should begin to read it.
Let’s begin with this.
I read it. All the time. I am never far from a copy in either home or office.
Little nuggets that are favorites of mine include Article 1, Section 10, Part 1. That’s the one that permits the use of letters of marque and reprisal, gold and silver being the only basis for currency, and benign neglect towards the content of contracts but a fierce devotion to upholding the freely entered into parts of same.
There’s another section that guarantees each state a Republican form of government AND protection from invasion. You can look that one up. A little exercise never hurt anyone.
Can we stipulate that some parts are observed more in the breach?
I intentionally have omitted the part known as “enumerated powers” lest it drive you mad.
My crown jewel of the early cases that shaped it is Gibbons v Ogden. It involves New Jersey, of which I am a proud native son, and, mirabile dictum, political corruption. I am pleased to see that corruption is no longer something unique to my Garden State.
Before Snooki and the Sopranos white envelopes were being exchanged in various city halls. It was like tipping the waiter before the meal.
There is a lesson in here about human nature but that’s not why I write. That having been said it is time to focus on the entrée, the First Amendment.
The key to understanding it is to focus on the first five words of the sentence. Let me amend that thus: “The first five majestic words of the sentence”.
“CONGRESS SHALL MAKE NO LAW…”
This divinely inspired document did not appear full blown in Philadelphia in 1787. 22 centuries before those words were set down a DWEM [and a combat wounded veteran, to boot] said
“FREE MEN SPEAK WITH FREE TONGUES”
Natural law tells us that certain rights are ours “from beyond the stars”. The Constitution did not give us those rights. No government can. In fact, History shows that one of the main functions of government, any government, is to take away rights. Our Constitution simply codified them.
It is indeed fitting and proper to note that the Constitution, a work product of James Madison, spells out exactly what the government can do. The Bill of Rights, with George Mason being the main author, tells us what government cannot do.
If, as you write, the idea of preventing Chick-fil-a from opening stores because of their views on same sex marriage – Could the word irony be better defined than by saying that their views were exactly the same, tit for tit, tat for tat, as the one shared by President Obama as recently as June? – was “wrong” and “was panned by even by liberals, a question remains.
How would you classify Chicago Mayor Foul Mouth Emmanuel? Chicago is a city where 4 year olds are gunned down in drug turf wars. The Mayor actually begged teen age hit men to look before they shoot lest they kill infants. Would Chicago “values”, the ones that Chick-fil-a don’t share, allow an odd/even day gunfight schedule?
How would you classify Boston Mayor Mumbles Mush Mouth Menino? If Chick-fil-a were to open some stores in Boston in this, lest we forget, the 3rd Summer of Recovery, environment would those “created” jobs be twice counted? Is it true that the hardest job to keep filled at City Hall is the one that requires a visual inspection of the Mayor’s mouth to prevent the dopey bastard from putting his teeth in upside down and backwards?
If those two mooks are modern American Liberals woe betide the country.
“And when you cut down every law to get at the devil and he turned round on you where would you hide, the laws all being flat?”
Thank God for the Constitution!
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Leonard J. Pitts, Jr. The Miami Herald
August 15, 2012
Leonard J. Pitts, Jr.
The Miami Herald
RE: “Call It What It Really Is” – A word or two about your column today that says “right-wing terrorists” are the source of evil, all evil, in the modern world. Plus, it doesn’t take a huge leap of faith to see the connection between “right-wing terrorism” and teenage bullying, polar bear drownings, the brutal drought, and the continuing baffling success of Chick-fil-a.
Mr. Pitts,
If, as you enumerate not quite in its entirety, dead people are more dead when they are shot by “right-wing terrorists”, which pew of the Church of Ayn Rand would you put Lee Harvey Oswald in?
Would Sirhan Sirhan be an usher, an elder, or an elder castrati cum usher in the choir at the same church?
I will stipulate that the statute of limitations has run on the cases of McKinley, Garfield, Lincoln, Julius Caesar, Socrates, and the Cain/Abel dustup. It doesn’t mean that you can’t stop thinking about yesterday. Didn’t “right-wing terrorists” do Hector in?
Jared Loughner, the snakes for brains wing-nut who lit up the Tucson mall when he shot a bunch of people including Congresswoman Giffords, had six weeks of Thorazine enemas, Prozac bran muffins, and a perpetual Ritalin/Dilantin IV before he could stand before a Federal Judge without evacuating both bowel and bladder through his ears and plead guilty to these murders most foul. Was he a member of the Robert Byrd Memorial KuKluxKlanKlavern or was he a lone wolf “right-wing terrorist”?
The bug-eyed Army shrink who was yelling Allah Akbar when he shot a baker’s dozen of his fellow soldiers was a mind numbed robot who danced, shot, and killed those infidels while dancing to a diabolic tune set down by Rush Limbaugh, right? Maybe it was Glenn Beck. Maybe Alan West.
Your “Eclectic indignation”, a condition that enables you to tip-toe blindfolded through the mine fields of facts contra your thesis, a condition that demands that a 1000 voice chorus follow you intoning “You are a horse’s ass” is, a mental disorder requires constant dunking and eternal pelting with flaming bags of flaming cat scat, doesn’t preclude me from seeking your help about the assassination attempt on President Reagan.
Did the scoundrels who blew up the World Trade Center do it?
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIt@BELLSOUTH.NET
Leonard J. Pitts, Jr.
The Miami Herald
RE: “Call It What It Really Is” – A word or two about your column today that says “right-wing terrorists” are the source of evil, all evil, in the modern world. Plus, it doesn’t take a huge leap of faith to see the connection between “right-wing terrorism” and teenage bullying, polar bear drownings, the brutal drought, and the continuing baffling success of Chick-fil-a.
Mr. Pitts,
If, as you enumerate not quite in its entirety, dead people are more dead when they are shot by “right-wing terrorists”, which pew of the Church of Ayn Rand would you put Lee Harvey Oswald in?
Would Sirhan Sirhan be an usher, an elder, or an elder castrati cum usher in the choir at the same church?
I will stipulate that the statute of limitations has run on the cases of McKinley, Garfield, Lincoln, Julius Caesar, Socrates, and the Cain/Abel dustup. It doesn’t mean that you can’t stop thinking about yesterday. Didn’t “right-wing terrorists” do Hector in?
Jared Loughner, the snakes for brains wing-nut who lit up the Tucson mall when he shot a bunch of people including Congresswoman Giffords, had six weeks of Thorazine enemas, Prozac bran muffins, and a perpetual Ritalin/Dilantin IV before he could stand before a Federal Judge without evacuating both bowel and bladder through his ears and plead guilty to these murders most foul. Was he a member of the Robert Byrd Memorial KuKluxKlanKlavern or was he a lone wolf “right-wing terrorist”?
The bug-eyed Army shrink who was yelling Allah Akbar when he shot a baker’s dozen of his fellow soldiers was a mind numbed robot who danced, shot, and killed those infidels while dancing to a diabolic tune set down by Rush Limbaugh, right? Maybe it was Glenn Beck. Maybe Alan West.
Your “Eclectic indignation”, a condition that enables you to tip-toe blindfolded through the mine fields of facts contra your thesis, a condition that demands that a 1000 voice chorus follow you intoning “You are a horse’s ass” is, a mental disorder requires constant dunking and eternal pelting with flaming bags of flaming cat scat, doesn’t preclude me from seeking your help about the assassination attempt on President Reagan.
Did the scoundrels who blew up the World Trade Center do it?
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIt@BELLSOUTH.NET
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Lyons, Goldstein, Stein @The Sun Sentinel
July 14, 2012
Lyons, Goldstein, Stein
@The Sun Sentinel
RE: Talk about a fart in church – More bad news from Chicago
Sirs,
So concerned was I with the shootings in Chicago, shootings on a scale that rival Kabul or Damascus, shootings with an intensity straight from the OK Corral, that I feared the worst of all possible worlds.
The New York Times has identified the newest from of racist killer, the “white Hispanic”. That is the racial class assigned to George Zimmerman of the Trayvon Martin shooting. I shuddered when I thought of the possibility of a battalion of light skinned Zorros, armed with Fast & Furious weapons, wreaking havoc on the undeserving poor of the Windy City. I was relieved when it turned out just to be roving groups of feral Black youth killing each other. Escalades and Navigators filled with spoiled teens from Winnetka and Evanston had nothing to do with these killings.
The question of crime is sub-divided, like Gaul, into 3 parts. One part, Black on Black, is greeted with ennui. Spike Lee doesn’t Tweet the address of alleged perpetrators of Black killings if the shooters are Black. No bounty is issued for the head of the killer of a Black kid as long as the killer is also Black. Somebody will write a song about it featuring “hos”, “pigs”, “The Man”, and why it is someone else’s fault.
Chicago is a funny town. The Mayor begs the killers to stop killing underage kids. He appeals, so help me, to their “values”. Perhaps there is a place for photo IDs after all.
I continued my intriguing search of Chicago.
The facts would support the interpretation that my disclosing the following might be schadenfreude. Even better than that, the research made me positively tumescent.
There is an article written by Michael Oneal on Page 3D of Saturday’s Sun Sentinel .It is about the emergence of the Tribune Company, your employer, from Bankruptcy Court.
I mention it because based on your collective writings the only contact any of you would have with any business section would be as Plan B should you come up short in the smallest room in the house. Any economic policy that begins with “fair share” and an ever increasing minimum wage bespeaks – what’s the word I’m looking for? – an ignorance on a scale that only a Homer could describe.
But wait. There’s more.
The Judge has awarded the corpus – that’s what it’s called – to a group of hedge funds, private equity firms, and investment bankers. Upon assuming control they will simultaneously move to dump the losers and sell the winners.
Get your resumes in order
I just found out that one of the hedge funds has a substantial minority owner controlled by the Koch Brothers.
Did any of you ever think that you would be working for them?
It is beyond irony that the better you do to generate revenues for your employer the more money they will have to exercise their First Amendment Right to Free Speech.
I am going to buy multiple copies of the Sentinel secure in the knowledge that my bit to raise revenues will result in stories about Obama’s half-brother living in a mud hut, stories about the shovel ready jobs being not quite shovel ready, film clips of him talking about the 57 or 58 states, about his hunt for the Austrian-English dictionary, about the United States Marine “Corpse”, about his complete befuddlement concerning the intricacies of throwing a baseball, about his wife spending money as if she earned it. It is what Naval Aviators call a “target rich environment”.
The President has never signed the front of a paycheck. He now has los cojones grandes to babble on about “outsourcing” as the focus of evil in society. Ralph Lauren, a substantial donor [Is $600,000 still “substantial”?] to both the Obama campaign and the Democratic National Committee, designed the official uniforms for the United States Olympic Team. Would you believe it if I were to tell you that they were made in China? I wouldn’t either. Alas, they were. If that’s not “outsourcing” what is?
One of the requirements for working at a Koch Brothers owned media outlet is that you subscribe to a loyalty oath. Inter alia, Alger Hiss was guilty, the Rosenbergs did it and should be dug up every year and executed again just to be sure, Joe McCarthy got a bad press, and Nixon is still the one are some of the things with which you must agree. Also, short arm inspections and concealed weapons permits are mandatory. Assault weapons purchased for home defense is a reimbursable expense. Plus, you must shop at Wal-Mart.
It seems to me that your only honorable way out of this is to resign.
There is another option.
I remember when the late Democratic Congressman Tom Lontos, as modern an American Liberal as one could possibly be and not believe in the tooth fairy or the Easter bunny, asked Craig Livingstone, the official gate keeper of the Clinton White House, to consider suicide as way to stop embarrassing the already embarrassed Democratic Party [Travel Gate? Foster Gate? File Gate? Do any of them sound familiar?]
Just ask and I will provide you with a variety of edged instruments.
It is said that the only thing that you cannot do with a K-Bar bayonet is to sit on it. An exception, in this case 3 exceptions, will be made.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
PS – Duty commands me to comment on the touchy matter of Jesse Jackson, Jr, another Chicago favorite. Not on his condition or his treatment but on what his mother said. “He’s disappointed that he didn’t become a Senator or Mayor.” God’s Holy Trousers, but she said that! If young Jackson had gone to one of the really fine public schools in Washington, DC perhaps he would have been toughened up a bit. His parents chose to send him to St. Alban’s School .where the tuition now is $47,000 a year and you have to bring your own lunch. Too bad no one told him about Kipling. Not where he writes of the White Man’s Burden which is as relevant today as it was when it was written, but the part about “If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster and treat those two imposters just the same”. A lot of people are upset that they never mastered the cello or helped to find the Higgs boson. I don’t see them reaching for the Thorazine enema or the Ritalin IV.
Lyons, Goldstein, Stein
@The Sun Sentinel
RE: Talk about a fart in church – More bad news from Chicago
Sirs,
So concerned was I with the shootings in Chicago, shootings on a scale that rival Kabul or Damascus, shootings with an intensity straight from the OK Corral, that I feared the worst of all possible worlds.
The New York Times has identified the newest from of racist killer, the “white Hispanic”. That is the racial class assigned to George Zimmerman of the Trayvon Martin shooting. I shuddered when I thought of the possibility of a battalion of light skinned Zorros, armed with Fast & Furious weapons, wreaking havoc on the undeserving poor of the Windy City. I was relieved when it turned out just to be roving groups of feral Black youth killing each other. Escalades and Navigators filled with spoiled teens from Winnetka and Evanston had nothing to do with these killings.
The question of crime is sub-divided, like Gaul, into 3 parts. One part, Black on Black, is greeted with ennui. Spike Lee doesn’t Tweet the address of alleged perpetrators of Black killings if the shooters are Black. No bounty is issued for the head of the killer of a Black kid as long as the killer is also Black. Somebody will write a song about it featuring “hos”, “pigs”, “The Man”, and why it is someone else’s fault.
Chicago is a funny town. The Mayor begs the killers to stop killing underage kids. He appeals, so help me, to their “values”. Perhaps there is a place for photo IDs after all.
I continued my intriguing search of Chicago.
The facts would support the interpretation that my disclosing the following might be schadenfreude. Even better than that, the research made me positively tumescent.
There is an article written by Michael Oneal on Page 3D of Saturday’s Sun Sentinel .It is about the emergence of the Tribune Company, your employer, from Bankruptcy Court.
I mention it because based on your collective writings the only contact any of you would have with any business section would be as Plan B should you come up short in the smallest room in the house. Any economic policy that begins with “fair share” and an ever increasing minimum wage bespeaks – what’s the word I’m looking for? – an ignorance on a scale that only a Homer could describe.
But wait. There’s more.
The Judge has awarded the corpus – that’s what it’s called – to a group of hedge funds, private equity firms, and investment bankers. Upon assuming control they will simultaneously move to dump the losers and sell the winners.
Get your resumes in order
I just found out that one of the hedge funds has a substantial minority owner controlled by the Koch Brothers.
Did any of you ever think that you would be working for them?
It is beyond irony that the better you do to generate revenues for your employer the more money they will have to exercise their First Amendment Right to Free Speech.
I am going to buy multiple copies of the Sentinel secure in the knowledge that my bit to raise revenues will result in stories about Obama’s half-brother living in a mud hut, stories about the shovel ready jobs being not quite shovel ready, film clips of him talking about the 57 or 58 states, about his hunt for the Austrian-English dictionary, about the United States Marine “Corpse”, about his complete befuddlement concerning the intricacies of throwing a baseball, about his wife spending money as if she earned it. It is what Naval Aviators call a “target rich environment”.
The President has never signed the front of a paycheck. He now has los cojones grandes to babble on about “outsourcing” as the focus of evil in society. Ralph Lauren, a substantial donor [Is $600,000 still “substantial”?] to both the Obama campaign and the Democratic National Committee, designed the official uniforms for the United States Olympic Team. Would you believe it if I were to tell you that they were made in China? I wouldn’t either. Alas, they were. If that’s not “outsourcing” what is?
One of the requirements for working at a Koch Brothers owned media outlet is that you subscribe to a loyalty oath. Inter alia, Alger Hiss was guilty, the Rosenbergs did it and should be dug up every year and executed again just to be sure, Joe McCarthy got a bad press, and Nixon is still the one are some of the things with which you must agree. Also, short arm inspections and concealed weapons permits are mandatory. Assault weapons purchased for home defense is a reimbursable expense. Plus, you must shop at Wal-Mart.
It seems to me that your only honorable way out of this is to resign.
There is another option.
I remember when the late Democratic Congressman Tom Lontos, as modern an American Liberal as one could possibly be and not believe in the tooth fairy or the Easter bunny, asked Craig Livingstone, the official gate keeper of the Clinton White House, to consider suicide as way to stop embarrassing the already embarrassed Democratic Party [Travel Gate? Foster Gate? File Gate? Do any of them sound familiar?]
Just ask and I will provide you with a variety of edged instruments.
It is said that the only thing that you cannot do with a K-Bar bayonet is to sit on it. An exception, in this case 3 exceptions, will be made.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
PS – Duty commands me to comment on the touchy matter of Jesse Jackson, Jr, another Chicago favorite. Not on his condition or his treatment but on what his mother said. “He’s disappointed that he didn’t become a Senator or Mayor.” God’s Holy Trousers, but she said that! If young Jackson had gone to one of the really fine public schools in Washington, DC perhaps he would have been toughened up a bit. His parents chose to send him to St. Alban’s School .where the tuition now is $47,000 a year and you have to bring your own lunch. Too bad no one told him about Kipling. Not where he writes of the White Man’s Burden which is as relevant today as it was when it was written, but the part about “If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster and treat those two imposters just the same”. A lot of people are upset that they never mastered the cello or helped to find the Higgs boson. I don’t see them reaching for the Thorazine enema or the Ritalin IV.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Michael Putney The Miami Herald
July 11, 2012
Michael Putney
The Miami Herald
RE: Even if the wheel is rigged it’s still the only game in town
Mr. Putney,
I am shocked, shocked by your column telling me that people in power like to stay in power. Further, some of their methods, sub rosa in their conception, may be, how to say this, are not Kosher in their practical application.
[From 1916 to 1980 the Regular Hudson County Democratic Organization had the Row A slot on the voting machine. As soon as the boys in the Court House had decided which name went where they had the signs printed. Of course it was done in a union shop. Why would you ask? After the signs were printed the drawing would be held for the ballot spots.]
The right to vote4 includes the right not to vote.
I don’t know about “lives of quiet desperation” but voters, when confronted by the perpetual banal venalities of public life, sometimes say, “Why encourage the bastards?”
[I was most happy to read yesterday of the arrest of the head of the Broward Teachers Union – Teachers? Union? Madness – on the basic “steal the pennies off a dead man’s eyes” charges. Petty theft, grand theft, bribery, double billing, unauthorized expenses, illegal political contributions, white envelopes – just like the old days! I say happy because the Union predecessor of the alleged perpetrator was indicted, arrested, arraigned, tried, convicted, and sentenced to prison where he still is for trying to play “Hide the Salami” with an 11 year old. That’s progress of a sort, isn’t it? Incidentally, the child molester got a $140,000 going away present from the Union. The crook got $170,000 to grease the wheels, so to speak, when he goes inside.]
You say that an opinion written by Secretary of State, she of the 2000 election brouhaha, disenfranchises one party when it does not have a candidate in the primary election. The winner of the other party’s primary is declared the winner or the uncontested election. All in all I think it is a marvelous idea. Cutting back on general elections is the quickest way to cut back on our exponentially expanding carbon footprint. Somewhere in Inuit country there is a mother polar bear tearing up a pod of baby seals. If she could she would thank somebody. Since she can’t she won’t. Gaia does however.
Yet again I am shocked, shocked that the Incumbent Protection Act is so blatant. “I’m on the bus. Ring the bell” is the battle cry that motivates politicians almost as much as an open-ended Grand Jury.
[Bayonne sensibilities precluded a phalanx of class A uniformed police officers at the polling place. Instead there were class A uniformed firemen – there were no firefighters then – who formed a gauntlet at the polling place. As you entered you were exhorted not to let the side down. “Row A All the Way” may not sound like a modern day version of Horatius at the bridge but it worked just as well. Just to reinforce it you were handed a palm card. Palm card? Send a SASE.]
You say that Secretary Harris is a bit of a dim bulb. I don’t know if she is in the same dull knife category as Vice President Curly Biden. I do know that she never was one heartbeat away from throwing the RESET button away and tossing one into the men’s room in the Kremlin.
I had a seminar leader, American Historian Eric Goldman, who said that not only was Lyndon Johnson the smartest politician he ever met; he was the smartest man he ever met. He told of being at a reception in the White House with a dozen other Historians. Johnson worked the room by engaging each of the guests with comments and questions on the main points of their various theses.
Whatever Katherine Harris didn’t know, whatever her score would be in a Jeopardy contest, there are no long black marble walls with 58,000 names on it in Tallahassee.
At least that war ended.
The other one, the one on poverty that started 48 years ago, is still going strong. Having overtaken the dust up between Athens and Sparta, it is closing in on the fight between the English and the French that was begun in 1755 and ended at Waterloo. Next up will be Rome and Carthage.
God spare me from smart people.
But there are two reasons why I write this morning.
#1 – My Texas ladies spent an extra day at the resorts in Orlando so my time is free until noon.
#2 – How often do I get a straight line, off speed, chest high balloon ball like the one you served up today?
In 1975 I testified at a Department of Interior hearing on off shore drilling, the shore in question was the New Jersey shore. The Outer Continental Shelf sub-committee convened in Trenton to hear testimony. It was, to use a word only found in crossword puzzles, a “raree”. 6 apes with hammers, an old Underwood typewriter [shades of Alger Hiss], and about half of the OED would have produced The Wasteland
before anything coherent came out of that. I’ll be running back punts for the Dolphins on Sunday afternoons just after I say Mass on Sunday morning before a barrel of oil came out of that group of mountebanks.
I was in my environment.
After my opening statement and some sparring with individual committee members the Department’s attorney began to ask me some questions. My immediate thought was that Allan Funt – and when was the last time you heard that name? – was filming this for later viewing. So condescendingly dumb was this boob that I had to bite my tongue. The most common hitting mistake made when eyeballing a Casaba melon coming at you below 70 MPH is over swinging. Truth be known it was role reversal. It was I who led the attorney. He entered “the upturned neck awaits the ax” abattoir with a 2 minute lecture that began with “Let me tell you what the Law says” and ending with “That’s what the Law says”
I said that if that was what the Law said then Mr. Bumble covered that quite well.
You mentioned some time ago that you decided against pursuing a PH.D in English Literature in favor of basic reporting. You are in good company. Norman Podhoretz, a pen pal from the last century, said that the best thing that ever happened to him was getting drafted. If he hadn’t he would have gotten a Ph.D. and been consigned to a small New England college. There he would have pursued both Punch and Judy with increasing vigor. His Draft Board intervened.
As President of the Irish Catholic Commentary Fan Club I can say the above without breaking any rules of confidentiality.
One last thing.
Would I branded with a scarlet R if I were to point out that getting “a big black voter turnout” has been the most successful business scam that Jesse Jackson has ever had? Every 4 years he gets to speak at the Democratic Convention. Every 4 years he gets a DNC credit card and the same marching orders: Register African-Americans who will Vote Row A All the Way. Every 4 years he comes back and says it’s time for a booster shot. Every 4 years everyone winks and nods and clamps on every open lactating teat available. In Hudson County once you were registered you stayed registered.
I had an uncle who died in 1956. His devotion to Row A All the Way was such that he voted until 1971.
Death be not proud
Michael Putney
The Miami Herald
RE: Even if the wheel is rigged it’s still the only game in town
Mr. Putney,
I am shocked, shocked by your column telling me that people in power like to stay in power. Further, some of their methods, sub rosa in their conception, may be, how to say this, are not Kosher in their practical application.
[From 1916 to 1980 the Regular Hudson County Democratic Organization had the Row A slot on the voting machine. As soon as the boys in the Court House had decided which name went where they had the signs printed. Of course it was done in a union shop. Why would you ask? After the signs were printed the drawing would be held for the ballot spots.]
The right to vote4 includes the right not to vote.
I don’t know about “lives of quiet desperation” but voters, when confronted by the perpetual banal venalities of public life, sometimes say, “Why encourage the bastards?”
[I was most happy to read yesterday of the arrest of the head of the Broward Teachers Union – Teachers? Union? Madness – on the basic “steal the pennies off a dead man’s eyes” charges. Petty theft, grand theft, bribery, double billing, unauthorized expenses, illegal political contributions, white envelopes – just like the old days! I say happy because the Union predecessor of the alleged perpetrator was indicted, arrested, arraigned, tried, convicted, and sentenced to prison where he still is for trying to play “Hide the Salami” with an 11 year old. That’s progress of a sort, isn’t it? Incidentally, the child molester got a $140,000 going away present from the Union. The crook got $170,000 to grease the wheels, so to speak, when he goes inside.]
You say that an opinion written by Secretary of State, she of the 2000 election brouhaha, disenfranchises one party when it does not have a candidate in the primary election. The winner of the other party’s primary is declared the winner or the uncontested election. All in all I think it is a marvelous idea. Cutting back on general elections is the quickest way to cut back on our exponentially expanding carbon footprint. Somewhere in Inuit country there is a mother polar bear tearing up a pod of baby seals. If she could she would thank somebody. Since she can’t she won’t. Gaia does however.
Yet again I am shocked, shocked that the Incumbent Protection Act is so blatant. “I’m on the bus. Ring the bell” is the battle cry that motivates politicians almost as much as an open-ended Grand Jury.
[Bayonne sensibilities precluded a phalanx of class A uniformed police officers at the polling place. Instead there were class A uniformed firemen – there were no firefighters then – who formed a gauntlet at the polling place. As you entered you were exhorted not to let the side down. “Row A All the Way” may not sound like a modern day version of Horatius at the bridge but it worked just as well. Just to reinforce it you were handed a palm card. Palm card? Send a SASE.]
You say that Secretary Harris is a bit of a dim bulb. I don’t know if she is in the same dull knife category as Vice President Curly Biden. I do know that she never was one heartbeat away from throwing the RESET button away and tossing one into the men’s room in the Kremlin.
I had a seminar leader, American Historian Eric Goldman, who said that not only was Lyndon Johnson the smartest politician he ever met; he was the smartest man he ever met. He told of being at a reception in the White House with a dozen other Historians. Johnson worked the room by engaging each of the guests with comments and questions on the main points of their various theses.
Whatever Katherine Harris didn’t know, whatever her score would be in a Jeopardy contest, there are no long black marble walls with 58,000 names on it in Tallahassee.
At least that war ended.
The other one, the one on poverty that started 48 years ago, is still going strong. Having overtaken the dust up between Athens and Sparta, it is closing in on the fight between the English and the French that was begun in 1755 and ended at Waterloo. Next up will be Rome and Carthage.
God spare me from smart people.
But there are two reasons why I write this morning.
#1 – My Texas ladies spent an extra day at the resorts in Orlando so my time is free until noon.
#2 – How often do I get a straight line, off speed, chest high balloon ball like the one you served up today?
In 1975 I testified at a Department of Interior hearing on off shore drilling, the shore in question was the New Jersey shore. The Outer Continental Shelf sub-committee convened in Trenton to hear testimony. It was, to use a word only found in crossword puzzles, a “raree”. 6 apes with hammers, an old Underwood typewriter [shades of Alger Hiss], and about half of the OED would have produced The Wasteland
before anything coherent came out of that. I’ll be running back punts for the Dolphins on Sunday afternoons just after I say Mass on Sunday morning before a barrel of oil came out of that group of mountebanks.
I was in my environment.
After my opening statement and some sparring with individual committee members the Department’s attorney began to ask me some questions. My immediate thought was that Allan Funt – and when was the last time you heard that name? – was filming this for later viewing. So condescendingly dumb was this boob that I had to bite my tongue. The most common hitting mistake made when eyeballing a Casaba melon coming at you below 70 MPH is over swinging. Truth be known it was role reversal. It was I who led the attorney. He entered “the upturned neck awaits the ax” abattoir with a 2 minute lecture that began with “Let me tell you what the Law says” and ending with “That’s what the Law says”
I said that if that was what the Law said then Mr. Bumble covered that quite well.
You mentioned some time ago that you decided against pursuing a PH.D in English Literature in favor of basic reporting. You are in good company. Norman Podhoretz, a pen pal from the last century, said that the best thing that ever happened to him was getting drafted. If he hadn’t he would have gotten a Ph.D. and been consigned to a small New England college. There he would have pursued both Punch and Judy with increasing vigor. His Draft Board intervened.
As President of the Irish Catholic Commentary Fan Club I can say the above without breaking any rules of confidentiality.
One last thing.
Would I branded with a scarlet R if I were to point out that getting “a big black voter turnout” has been the most successful business scam that Jesse Jackson has ever had? Every 4 years he gets to speak at the Democratic Convention. Every 4 years he gets a DNC credit card and the same marching orders: Register African-Americans who will Vote Row A All the Way. Every 4 years he comes back and says it’s time for a booster shot. Every 4 years everyone winks and nods and clamps on every open lactating teat available. In Hudson County once you were registered you stayed registered.
I had an uncle who died in 1956. His devotion to Row A All the Way was such that he voted until 1971.
Death be not proud
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz Democratic National Committee
July 9, 2012
Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz
Democratic National Committee
430 South Capitol Street
Washington, D.C. 20003
RE: I promised I’d help you
Dear Darling Debbie, Debbie,
I heard that you and your Boss are “proud” of the jobs report of last Friday. That’s like being “proud” that OJ Simpson only killed two people or Bill Clinton only perjured himself once.
But that not’s why I write.
Fast & Furious. Remember?
You remember Cindy Sheehan, don’t you? Her son was killed defending his country. At some point in her grieving process she decided that George Bush had her son killed. She turned on him in a most public manner. She would show up at public events; she even showed up at the Crawford, Texas home of the President. In these endeavors she was encouraged and cheered on by the modern American Liberal media. [I know that the last phrase is redundant but every now and then it is good to state the obvious.] Maureen Dowd, head banshee in residence at the New York Times, said that Cindy Sheehan had the “absolute moral right” to mourn her son in any way that she saw fit. Setting her hair on fire before peeing on the President’s dogs was well within the cathartic bounds of Code Pink God Damn Devil Bush tactics.
When she ran against Nancy Pelosi in the Democratic primary she became an embarrassment to the cabal in charge of the modern American Liberal nest of media vipers. She was last seen being strapped to an Atlas 5 rocket where she will attempt to catch up to the Pioneer Space Probe. Good Luck, Cindy. You go, girl!
Can we not stipulate that any time a parent buries a child it upsets the harmonic balance of the universe?
Why not begin a “Cindy Sheehan Grieving Mother of the Year Award”? The only criterion for the award is that the child had to die in the defense of his or her country.
I nominate Josephine Terry.
I hope you will second it. Further, I hope you will bring all your media guns to bear in this.
Brian Terry, Josephine Terry’s son, died defending his country. Doubtless there is somewhere a scroll with his name on it that says he “died in the service of his country”. The one on my wall, dated May 25, 1945, says that. Josephine Terry’s son is just as dead as Cindy Sheehan’s son. They will both be dead for a very long time.
Josephine Terry wants to know how her son died.
“Quick and clean” or, as the song asks, “Was it slow and obscene?”
She wants to be able to go to her son’s grave and tell him. I search, vainly, for any national media voice saying she has the “absolute moral right” to so do.
For whatever reason, the Attorney General of the United States doesn’t want to tell her. His immediate supervisor, the President of the United States, doesn’t want to tell her either. He has told his employee to keep his lip zipped.e has instgructed theHe
How refreshing it would be if you were to act like a mom, a mom whose children are fast approaching the age when they may decide to defend their country, and tell the big guys at the other end of Pennsylvania Avenue to tell Josephine Terry what happened to her son.
Silly me. Still a cockeyed optimist after all these years.
Kevin Smith
PS – I still haven’t heard from you about me taking David Axelrod to Grady’s on Andrews Avenue in Ft. Lauderdale. If he can’t make it how about the husband of Democratic Senate Candidate Princess SummerFallWinterWarren of Boston She is a woman who gives new meaning to the term Indian Princess, no? Just like the edited shot of Romney not being familiar with a touch screen order system this condescendingly stupid 1%er did not know what a “church key” was. That’s a bottle opener for people who send their kids to private school. Next, I’ll help you out with the economy. That’s the economy you said you “owned” a while back, remember? We are now in the 3rd edition of “The Summer of Recovery”. Let’s try to get it right this time.
Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz
Democratic National Committee
430 South Capitol Street
Washington, D.C. 20003
RE: I promised I’d help you
Dear Darling Debbie, Debbie,
I heard that you and your Boss are “proud” of the jobs report of last Friday. That’s like being “proud” that OJ Simpson only killed two people or Bill Clinton only perjured himself once.
But that not’s why I write.
Fast & Furious. Remember?
You remember Cindy Sheehan, don’t you? Her son was killed defending his country. At some point in her grieving process she decided that George Bush had her son killed. She turned on him in a most public manner. She would show up at public events; she even showed up at the Crawford, Texas home of the President. In these endeavors she was encouraged and cheered on by the modern American Liberal media. [I know that the last phrase is redundant but every now and then it is good to state the obvious.] Maureen Dowd, head banshee in residence at the New York Times, said that Cindy Sheehan had the “absolute moral right” to mourn her son in any way that she saw fit. Setting her hair on fire before peeing on the President’s dogs was well within the cathartic bounds of Code Pink God Damn Devil Bush tactics.
When she ran against Nancy Pelosi in the Democratic primary she became an embarrassment to the cabal in charge of the modern American Liberal nest of media vipers. She was last seen being strapped to an Atlas 5 rocket where she will attempt to catch up to the Pioneer Space Probe. Good Luck, Cindy. You go, girl!
Can we not stipulate that any time a parent buries a child it upsets the harmonic balance of the universe?
Why not begin a “Cindy Sheehan Grieving Mother of the Year Award”? The only criterion for the award is that the child had to die in the defense of his or her country.
I nominate Josephine Terry.
I hope you will second it. Further, I hope you will bring all your media guns to bear in this.
Brian Terry, Josephine Terry’s son, died defending his country. Doubtless there is somewhere a scroll with his name on it that says he “died in the service of his country”. The one on my wall, dated May 25, 1945, says that. Josephine Terry’s son is just as dead as Cindy Sheehan’s son. They will both be dead for a very long time.
Josephine Terry wants to know how her son died.
“Quick and clean” or, as the song asks, “Was it slow and obscene?”
She wants to be able to go to her son’s grave and tell him. I search, vainly, for any national media voice saying she has the “absolute moral right” to so do.
For whatever reason, the Attorney General of the United States doesn’t want to tell her. His immediate supervisor, the President of the United States, doesn’t want to tell her either. He has told his employee to keep his lip zipped.e has instgructed theHe
How refreshing it would be if you were to act like a mom, a mom whose children are fast approaching the age when they may decide to defend their country, and tell the big guys at the other end of Pennsylvania Avenue to tell Josephine Terry what happened to her son.
Silly me. Still a cockeyed optimist after all these years.
Kevin Smith
PS – I still haven’t heard from you about me taking David Axelrod to Grady’s on Andrews Avenue in Ft. Lauderdale. If he can’t make it how about the husband of Democratic Senate Candidate Princess SummerFallWinterWarren of Boston She is a woman who gives new meaning to the term Indian Princess, no? Just like the edited shot of Romney not being familiar with a touch screen order system this condescendingly stupid 1%er did not know what a “church key” was. That’s a bottle opener for people who send their kids to private school. Next, I’ll help you out with the economy. That’s the economy you said you “owned” a while back, remember? We are now in the 3rd edition of “The Summer of Recovery”. Let’s try to get it right this time.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Margaret Carlson Bloomberg News
July 9, 2012
Margaret Carlson
Bloomberg News
1399 New York Avenue
Washington, DC 20005
RE: “Will no one rid me of this meddlesome ink stained wench”? – Some comments on your column on Hillary Clinton and why she is, with the possible exception of Mary, the Mother of Jesus Christ, and Gaia, the Goddess of the Earth, the greatest woman in the History of mankind. OOPS! Womankind. How about Humankind?
Ms. Carlson;
Alas, I am not a Plantagenet. If I were perhaps Runnymede would have been different and you would have spent your life in a nunnery.
The subject of your column in today’s Miami Herald is not whether you still believe that GIs serving overseas are tax cheats and should be denied the vote but whether or not Hillary Clinton’s shadow or the touch of her hem is sufficient to heal the sick and cool the nation.
In the pre-dawn hours I read yet again of Hillary hurling herself at the glass ceiling, the one constantly being reinforced by the filthy lucre gained by the odious polar bear hating, pro-fracking Koch Brothers.
If memory serves she was hired by the largest law firm in Arkansas, a feat that compares favorably with being the 3rd tallest building in Wichita, Kansas, when her husband was elected Attorney General.
As Hinnisy the Publican said, “She seen her opportunities and took’em”. So did her employer. She was made a partner when her husband was elected Governor. No doubt a coincidence like when, as Jeeves said to Bertie, you “find a trout in the milk”.
Glass ceiling? What glass ceiling?
You mention that she first gained notoriety when she criticized a United States Senator from Massachusetts who was the principal speaker at her graduation. No, it wasn’t Ted the Toper. It was the summer of 1969. Lard was busy filling out his dance card for, inter alia, the weekend at Chappaquiddick. Her instruction sheet for ridiculing public figures came from Saul Alinsky, the subject of her senior thesis. Whatever happened to him and his ideas? The question is moot. Nothing lost there save civility.
One of the jobs she had when she was busy not practicing law was being named an outside director of a little company in Arkansas with the intriguing name Wal-Mart.
Try to follow the bouncing ball here. It gets tricky.
She is a partner in the biggest law firm in the state. She is married to the Governor of that state. They may be Hicks in Bentonville but they sure as Hell ain’t dumb.
She went through that glass ceiling like a bat out of Hell, didn’t she?
She also found the time to read the Wall Street Journal and to study under the legendary “Red Bone the Broker” to learn and master the intricacies of the cattle futures market.
Shazaam on me if she ain’t Wonder Woman!
I still picture her as a modern day Boadicea or at least a marauding Maeve when I think of her ducking incoming gunfire by doing the serpentine shuffle on that Serbian tarmac.
You say she suffered through the suicide of her “best friend in the White House”. That would be Vince Foster, right? “Best friend”? Thus the envelope of language is stretched by euphemism, particularly when done by a friendly, indeed sycophantic, modern American Liberal ink stained wench.
Among other traits that would qualify her to be the first woman to…to… pee standing up is her ability to sit through “her husband’s humiliating affair”.
The facts would support the interpretation that so long as she could get to ride up front on Air Force One her husband, President Handsome Billy from Hot Springs, could get his morning hummer from the zoftig chick situated strategically under the desk in the Oval Office. No matter that the catcher in this game of gobble up the one-eyed trouser snake was just a few months older than their daughter.
She realized, up close and personal, that it was good, I mean really, really good to be King. Maybe it is the Queen’s turn.
If, as you say, she has “endured and prevailed” – and what must Faulkner be thinking – why not secure her place in History by taking on the role of Antigone? According to 3rd party recounts she already has done the Lysistrata part.
A woman was shot in Afghanistan last week. Ignoring their RESET buttons the crowd yelled Allah Akbar as she was shot 9 times. At about the same she and Bernie Karzai, the big boss man in Kabul, looked like they spent the afternoon on his back porch getting rid of a pitcher of Margaritas in an environmentally sensitive manner.
She left $16,000,000,000 – that’s 16 billion dollars – on the table when she left Kabul. Part of the understanding was that you just couldn’t shoot women on a whim.
The lesson needs to be positively reinforced in a most negative way.
Seal Team 6 has been quiet for some time.
Send it over with her in charge to put a Texas-sized ass whupping on those turbaned thugs.
Any woman who could be named for the guy who climbed Mt. Everest 4 and one half years before he did it can surely take out a few goat humping Gomers.
To Hell with being the first chick President!
How about Pope Hillary the First?
Kevin Smith
Margaret Carlson
Bloomberg News
1399 New York Avenue
Washington, DC 20005
RE: “Will no one rid me of this meddlesome ink stained wench”? – Some comments on your column on Hillary Clinton and why she is, with the possible exception of Mary, the Mother of Jesus Christ, and Gaia, the Goddess of the Earth, the greatest woman in the History of mankind. OOPS! Womankind. How about Humankind?
Ms. Carlson;
Alas, I am not a Plantagenet. If I were perhaps Runnymede would have been different and you would have spent your life in a nunnery.
The subject of your column in today’s Miami Herald is not whether you still believe that GIs serving overseas are tax cheats and should be denied the vote but whether or not Hillary Clinton’s shadow or the touch of her hem is sufficient to heal the sick and cool the nation.
In the pre-dawn hours I read yet again of Hillary hurling herself at the glass ceiling, the one constantly being reinforced by the filthy lucre gained by the odious polar bear hating, pro-fracking Koch Brothers.
If memory serves she was hired by the largest law firm in Arkansas, a feat that compares favorably with being the 3rd tallest building in Wichita, Kansas, when her husband was elected Attorney General.
As Hinnisy the Publican said, “She seen her opportunities and took’em”. So did her employer. She was made a partner when her husband was elected Governor. No doubt a coincidence like when, as Jeeves said to Bertie, you “find a trout in the milk”.
Glass ceiling? What glass ceiling?
You mention that she first gained notoriety when she criticized a United States Senator from Massachusetts who was the principal speaker at her graduation. No, it wasn’t Ted the Toper. It was the summer of 1969. Lard was busy filling out his dance card for, inter alia, the weekend at Chappaquiddick. Her instruction sheet for ridiculing public figures came from Saul Alinsky, the subject of her senior thesis. Whatever happened to him and his ideas? The question is moot. Nothing lost there save civility.
One of the jobs she had when she was busy not practicing law was being named an outside director of a little company in Arkansas with the intriguing name Wal-Mart.
Try to follow the bouncing ball here. It gets tricky.
She is a partner in the biggest law firm in the state. She is married to the Governor of that state. They may be Hicks in Bentonville but they sure as Hell ain’t dumb.
She went through that glass ceiling like a bat out of Hell, didn’t she?
She also found the time to read the Wall Street Journal and to study under the legendary “Red Bone the Broker” to learn and master the intricacies of the cattle futures market.
Shazaam on me if she ain’t Wonder Woman!
I still picture her as a modern day Boadicea or at least a marauding Maeve when I think of her ducking incoming gunfire by doing the serpentine shuffle on that Serbian tarmac.
You say she suffered through the suicide of her “best friend in the White House”. That would be Vince Foster, right? “Best friend”? Thus the envelope of language is stretched by euphemism, particularly when done by a friendly, indeed sycophantic, modern American Liberal ink stained wench.
Among other traits that would qualify her to be the first woman to…to… pee standing up is her ability to sit through “her husband’s humiliating affair”.
The facts would support the interpretation that so long as she could get to ride up front on Air Force One her husband, President Handsome Billy from Hot Springs, could get his morning hummer from the zoftig chick situated strategically under the desk in the Oval Office. No matter that the catcher in this game of gobble up the one-eyed trouser snake was just a few months older than their daughter.
She realized, up close and personal, that it was good, I mean really, really good to be King. Maybe it is the Queen’s turn.
If, as you say, she has “endured and prevailed” – and what must Faulkner be thinking – why not secure her place in History by taking on the role of Antigone? According to 3rd party recounts she already has done the Lysistrata part.
A woman was shot in Afghanistan last week. Ignoring their RESET buttons the crowd yelled Allah Akbar as she was shot 9 times. At about the same she and Bernie Karzai, the big boss man in Kabul, looked like they spent the afternoon on his back porch getting rid of a pitcher of Margaritas in an environmentally sensitive manner.
She left $16,000,000,000 – that’s 16 billion dollars – on the table when she left Kabul. Part of the understanding was that you just couldn’t shoot women on a whim.
The lesson needs to be positively reinforced in a most negative way.
Seal Team 6 has been quiet for some time.
Send it over with her in charge to put a Texas-sized ass whupping on those turbaned thugs.
Any woman who could be named for the guy who climbed Mt. Everest 4 and one half years before he did it can surely take out a few goat humping Gomers.
To Hell with being the first chick President!
How about Pope Hillary the First?
Kevin Smith
Rachel Patron The Sun Sentinel
July 7, 2012
Rachel Patron
The Sun Sentinel
500 E. Broward Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394
RE: An unintended consequence of Obamacare – Some comments on your really fine column in this morning’s Sun Sentinel.
Ms. Patron,
At the very least, a lower case te deum must be raised. Thanks to you, it is all made clear.
Now that the Supreme Court has spoken, ex cathedra if you will, on the Constitutionality of Obamacare I can put the quotidian medical concerns of an aging curmudgeon aside. It may take some time to smooth the edges of having the Post Office take over the scheduling of surgical procedures but Hey, this is America, remember? What better way to start the 3rd Summer of Recovery than to bring your blood work and x-rays to the polite and caring clerks who toil at the Post Office counters for their opinions? They will tell you where to put your records.
As soon as the lovely Michelle sends me the recipe for her justifiably famous skim milk, yogurt, arugula, sweet potato, and tofu milkshake I will shun, as if they were pox-ridden, all Big Macs and sausage pizza.
Absent those chores I will have more time to dwell on important matters. Your column, for instance. It stands with feet planted in cement, wearing a sign that says “Shoot Me First”, squarely in my crosshairs.
Modern American Liberals, particularly those who labor as ink stained wenches, are known for never letting facts interfere with their argument. Their obsession with the Bush/Gore decision of 2000 is O/C.
#1 – The vote affirming Florida’s electoral votes going to Bush was not 5 to 4. It was 7 – 2. The 5 – 4 vote was to accept the case. If it had been 5 - 4 against the lower court ruling would have stood and Alpha Gump would have been President. Having voted against accepting the case 2 Justices confirmed that Bush had won the election.
At this point I must tell you that I was born and raised in Hudson County, NJ and that my wife had many relatives living in Chicago. The counting, overcounting, undercounting, non-counting, mis-counting, and the sure sign that the fix is in, the Court ordered recount are learned at Mother’s breast. And that was long before anyone ever heard of a photo ID. Just to prove that all things were possible I had 6 voter ID cards when Miriam Oliphant was the Broward Election Supervisor
If someone from Bayonne had been in charge of Broward County ballots in 2000 Fidel Castro could have been President.
One irksome fact that no Court could change was that if Gore had carried Tennessee, his home state, he would have been President even if Bush shut him out in Florida.
#2 – Here is an example of God’s mirth. If Robert Bork, the bête-noire of modern American Liberals, had been confirmed as a Supreme Court Justice Vice President Gump would have become President Gump. Bork would have voted against taking the case. In your world the 5 - 4 would have been a win for the good guys. Thumper Gump would have been the First Lady where she would have censored all those nasty hip-hop, East Coast versus West Coast rap songs. The baby Gumpsters would have gamboled on the lawn and no polar bears would have drowned.
It is as good an example of “Man proposes; God clears His throat” as I can find.
#3 – You approve of the Supreme Court decision upholding Obamacare. You disapprove of the Supreme Court decision upholding freedom of speech in the Citizens United case.
Thank you for making manifestly clear the cognitive dissonance required of modern American Liberals, particularly those of the aforementioned ink stained wench variety.
Lacking respect, perhaps even knowledge, of the “permanent things, the Court decisions which advance the du jour policy of the purblind Democratic Party “Rainbow Stew” feelings cycle are good. If they don’t they are bad.
I shant shame you by showing what you don’t know about the Constitution.
You need but remember that the body of the Constitution spells out specifically what government can do. They are called “enumerated powers”.
The Bill of Rights spells out what government cannot do. Perhaps it is not too late for you to understand that the first words of the First Amendment, “Congress shall make no law…” mean precisely that. “Free men speak with free tongues” was good advice in the agora. It enables George Soros to open his check book to advance ideas that he holds dear. Why would you deny him his right? Incidentally, his right was not given to him by a government. If that were the case it could just as easily be taken away from him. The American Constitution merely confirmed and codified it. It was his at birth, “from beyond the stars”.
The President has a Tuesday Sudden Death List lunch at the White House. He apparently picks and chooses which particular turbaned thug gets the chop from a predator drone. The Constitution specifically grants this right. It’s a small point but it only gives it to Congress. I guess that’s why Nancy Pelosi is a regular.
There is an interesting part in the Constitution that says that the Federal government “shall protect each of them [the states] from invasion”. If someone crossing the United States border with Mexico in Arizona and killing a Federal agent in the process isn’t an “invasion” perhaps you could tell me what is.
I don’t know what Romney’s policy towards Israel will be. I do know that he wouldn’t have sat as dumb and quiet as the church mouse for 20 years while an anti-Semite spewed blood libels out like they were gospel.
Comes now Evelyn Garcia, a protégé of Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz. She is a Democratic candidate for the Florida Assembly, and an alternate delegate to the Democratic Convention. She wants to wear a birqa when she votes for Lord Barack the Beneficent. She tried to get Yessir Arafat, Yasser Arafat’s nephew, to help write the pro-Palestinian part of the Party’s platform. I can’t confirm, and she won’t deny, that Barbra Streisand was going to welcome the delegates by singing from the Allah Akbar song book. How bad can Fox News get?
You mention that Conservative slogans are lacking in the lifting potential of a good, catchy sound bite. Of course, it is tough to top “I won’t send American boys to fight in foreign wars”, particularly when it was used so successfully 3 times in the 20th century. TWW. FDR. LBJ. Remember?
Knowing that my health care and dietary choices have already been made by people who really care for me makes it easier to get on with the job of getting a “fairer” tax system.
Thanks for helping me “get” it.
Kevin Smith
Rachel Patron
The Sun Sentinel
500 E. Broward Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394
RE: An unintended consequence of Obamacare – Some comments on your really fine column in this morning’s Sun Sentinel.
Ms. Patron,
At the very least, a lower case te deum must be raised. Thanks to you, it is all made clear.
Now that the Supreme Court has spoken, ex cathedra if you will, on the Constitutionality of Obamacare I can put the quotidian medical concerns of an aging curmudgeon aside. It may take some time to smooth the edges of having the Post Office take over the scheduling of surgical procedures but Hey, this is America, remember? What better way to start the 3rd Summer of Recovery than to bring your blood work and x-rays to the polite and caring clerks who toil at the Post Office counters for their opinions? They will tell you where to put your records.
As soon as the lovely Michelle sends me the recipe for her justifiably famous skim milk, yogurt, arugula, sweet potato, and tofu milkshake I will shun, as if they were pox-ridden, all Big Macs and sausage pizza.
Absent those chores I will have more time to dwell on important matters. Your column, for instance. It stands with feet planted in cement, wearing a sign that says “Shoot Me First”, squarely in my crosshairs.
Modern American Liberals, particularly those who labor as ink stained wenches, are known for never letting facts interfere with their argument. Their obsession with the Bush/Gore decision of 2000 is O/C.
#1 – The vote affirming Florida’s electoral votes going to Bush was not 5 to 4. It was 7 – 2. The 5 – 4 vote was to accept the case. If it had been 5 - 4 against the lower court ruling would have stood and Alpha Gump would have been President. Having voted against accepting the case 2 Justices confirmed that Bush had won the election.
At this point I must tell you that I was born and raised in Hudson County, NJ and that my wife had many relatives living in Chicago. The counting, overcounting, undercounting, non-counting, mis-counting, and the sure sign that the fix is in, the Court ordered recount are learned at Mother’s breast. And that was long before anyone ever heard of a photo ID. Just to prove that all things were possible I had 6 voter ID cards when Miriam Oliphant was the Broward Election Supervisor
If someone from Bayonne had been in charge of Broward County ballots in 2000 Fidel Castro could have been President.
One irksome fact that no Court could change was that if Gore had carried Tennessee, his home state, he would have been President even if Bush shut him out in Florida.
#2 – Here is an example of God’s mirth. If Robert Bork, the bête-noire of modern American Liberals, had been confirmed as a Supreme Court Justice Vice President Gump would have become President Gump. Bork would have voted against taking the case. In your world the 5 - 4 would have been a win for the good guys. Thumper Gump would have been the First Lady where she would have censored all those nasty hip-hop, East Coast versus West Coast rap songs. The baby Gumpsters would have gamboled on the lawn and no polar bears would have drowned.
It is as good an example of “Man proposes; God clears His throat” as I can find.
#3 – You approve of the Supreme Court decision upholding Obamacare. You disapprove of the Supreme Court decision upholding freedom of speech in the Citizens United case.
Thank you for making manifestly clear the cognitive dissonance required of modern American Liberals, particularly those of the aforementioned ink stained wench variety.
Lacking respect, perhaps even knowledge, of the “permanent things, the Court decisions which advance the du jour policy of the purblind Democratic Party “Rainbow Stew” feelings cycle are good. If they don’t they are bad.
I shant shame you by showing what you don’t know about the Constitution.
You need but remember that the body of the Constitution spells out specifically what government can do. They are called “enumerated powers”.
The Bill of Rights spells out what government cannot do. Perhaps it is not too late for you to understand that the first words of the First Amendment, “Congress shall make no law…” mean precisely that. “Free men speak with free tongues” was good advice in the agora. It enables George Soros to open his check book to advance ideas that he holds dear. Why would you deny him his right? Incidentally, his right was not given to him by a government. If that were the case it could just as easily be taken away from him. The American Constitution merely confirmed and codified it. It was his at birth, “from beyond the stars”.
The President has a Tuesday Sudden Death List lunch at the White House. He apparently picks and chooses which particular turbaned thug gets the chop from a predator drone. The Constitution specifically grants this right. It’s a small point but it only gives it to Congress. I guess that’s why Nancy Pelosi is a regular.
There is an interesting part in the Constitution that says that the Federal government “shall protect each of them [the states] from invasion”. If someone crossing the United States border with Mexico in Arizona and killing a Federal agent in the process isn’t an “invasion” perhaps you could tell me what is.
I don’t know what Romney’s policy towards Israel will be. I do know that he wouldn’t have sat as dumb and quiet as the church mouse for 20 years while an anti-Semite spewed blood libels out like they were gospel.
Comes now Evelyn Garcia, a protégé of Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz. She is a Democratic candidate for the Florida Assembly, and an alternate delegate to the Democratic Convention. She wants to wear a birqa when she votes for Lord Barack the Beneficent. She tried to get Yessir Arafat, Yasser Arafat’s nephew, to help write the pro-Palestinian part of the Party’s platform. I can’t confirm, and she won’t deny, that Barbra Streisand was going to welcome the delegates by singing from the Allah Akbar song book. How bad can Fox News get?
You mention that Conservative slogans are lacking in the lifting potential of a good, catchy sound bite. Of course, it is tough to top “I won’t send American boys to fight in foreign wars”, particularly when it was used so successfully 3 times in the 20th century. TWW. FDR. LBJ. Remember?
Knowing that my health care and dietary choices have already been made by people who really care for me makes it easier to get on with the job of getting a “fairer” tax system.
Thanks for helping me “get” it.
Kevin Smith
Friday, July 6, 2012
Eugene Robinson The Washington Post
July 5, 2012
Eugene Robinson
The Washington Post
1150 15th Street, NW
Washington, DC 20071
RE: No, it isn’t hot enough for me – Some comments on your mind numbing article in today’s Miami Herald.
Mr. Robinson,
One of the requirements before you become a full throated, fire breathing, card carrying member of the modern American Liberal Church of Perpetually Rising Expectations is that you genuflect to the great Gaia and promise that no polar bears will die on your watch. As part of the rubric of Holy Orders you are required to put your head so far up your ass that if you use Rogaine hair will grow on your tongue. You are well on the road to being an Archbishop.
[Did you know that the snows of Kilimanjaro have been receding since 1888? That was the first year that it was measured so Quien Sabe about the good old days when Obama’s great great grandfather was actively culling his herd. Incidentally, the Blizzard of 1888 is still remembered in America. Do you think there might be a connection? The preceding was a non sequitur. We’ll get to that soon.]
You say that it is always hot in DC in August but it’s never been this hot.
Assuming that it is so could you tell me what that means or what it implies. Declarative sentences only, please.
I recall a Washington Post story from the summer of 1996.
#1 – Donna Shalala, then HHS Secretary and now head of the pep squad for the University of Miami Hurricanes, gave President Handsome Billy from Hot Springs some bad news. There was no way to sugar coat it. We were all going to die from AIDS in 10 years.
This is 2012 – 16 years later – and I still haven’t bought any green bananas.
#2 – President Clinton made some brief remarks in the Rose Garden that day. “Hot enough for you?” was how he opened it. He then proceeded to turn 25 centuries of Western Civilization on its head. He said it was hot because of Global Warming. Further, there could be no doubt, what with the science being settled, that Global Warming was caused by that very hot day in August. Heat begets heat and that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
The World of Traditional Logic shuddered as it was being torn asunder.
As quickly as he could force them into the receiving end of the obfuscatory persiflage grinder, the Halusian gap of irrationality was filled with the admonitions against circular reasoning, the ban of tautologies, and hoc post ergo propter hoc. Non sequiturs became reasoned discourse. See. I told you we would get back to them.
Logic, the capstone of the Trivium, the mother lode of the DNA that has become the Western Canon, went into the ash heap. Big Bill only took a few questions because he didn’t want to be late for his AM Oval Office hummer.
[Speaking of “settled science”, and how is that horse’s ass for the ages, Vice President Alpha Gump, doing these days, exactly what is this flap over the God particle? Higgs boson? Up until last Thursday I thought it was the Jolly Tar wearing the cool hat with the great whistle. Do you suppose it is, to quote Vice President Curly Biden, “a big fucking deal”?]
I am never far from my copy of “The Population Bomb” by Paul Ehrlich, Ph.D. I just reached out and touched it. He posited a simple enough thesis. The year is 1970. The race is on as to whether we will starve to death or freeze to death. The finish line is set in reinforced rebarred concrete at 2000 AD
I admit that in addition to being follicley challenged I am calorically challenged. Not freezing, not starving, not dead from AIDS. You can see why 1996 was a year filled with great angst for me. I thought I had a good shot at beating the 2000 Dead Pool. Then she comes along a gives a new drop dead deadline.
We may yet save the polar bears. We won’t make any friends in the world of baby seals but, what the Hell, we all can’t eat tofu.
I have been asking the Miami Herald since 1997 to turn off the A/Cs in their World HQ by Biscayne Bay. Alas, my suggestion has not gained traction.
See if you can follow the Logic here. I’ll type slowly.
50% of the electricity generated in this country comes from burning coal. 50% of the electricity is used to generate power to run A/Cs. Can you see where I’m going here?
After the Washington Post goes room temperature the entire Federal apparatus goes off the grid. Imagine the Capitol without A/C for the months of June, July, August, September, and October up until Columbus Day. It’s possible that nothing will get done what with members keeling over from heat stroke. The country will be better off for it. The unintended serendipity is that 10 foot tall polar bears will become 12 foot polar bears at the expense of those cute baby seals. They were going to die anyway so rich 1% mostly White chicks can wear them. Here we can help an endangered species.
Perhaps you remember your first day of biology class. It’s fuzzy to me also. There was something about green plants, photosynthesis, and a long 4 letter word. That word is carbon dioxide.
The people who gave us Obamacare and skim milk, broccoli, and tofu malteds have said – Caesar Dixit comes to mind – that carbon dioxide is poisonous.
I want you to kill your ferns and bromeliads. I want you to burn your lawn and drown your rose bushes. It might be tough getting all those redwoods down by the autumnal equinox but we’re Americans and this is our 3rd Summer of Recovery. Yes, we can. Si, se puede.
You have a very special job. You are to tie yourself to the top of the Capitol dome like Ulysses. There, you are to hold your breath and count to 2012. In fact, I want you to duct tape your mouth, nose, and ears. I don’t want any of that damned CO2 getting out.
Your CV lists you as a Pulitzer Prize winner. I’m not sure what it is in but for damn sure it is not in any recognized sciences. Alchemy, perhaps astrology. You are picking up the mantle so proudly borne by Janet Cook. Good for you. I haven’t heard from her in a while. What is she up to these days?
Your final paragraph contains one teeny error.
Let’s assume that son of Solyndra works. Let’s assume that it produces electricity like coal on steroids. Let’s assume that it has so much juice that Ben Franklin comes back and blesses it.
How does the power get off the roof and into your A/C, there being no way of transmitting it? Maybe we can harness the tides in the Potomac to turn the windmills that will get the solar powered magic wands to run the A/C. Maybe we can have the Wizard of Oz keep shouting Shazaam!
It sure as Hell beats anything you’re saying.
Kevin Smith
Eugene Robinson
The Washington Post
1150 15th Street, NW
Washington, DC 20071
RE: No, it isn’t hot enough for me – Some comments on your mind numbing article in today’s Miami Herald.
Mr. Robinson,
One of the requirements before you become a full throated, fire breathing, card carrying member of the modern American Liberal Church of Perpetually Rising Expectations is that you genuflect to the great Gaia and promise that no polar bears will die on your watch. As part of the rubric of Holy Orders you are required to put your head so far up your ass that if you use Rogaine hair will grow on your tongue. You are well on the road to being an Archbishop.
[Did you know that the snows of Kilimanjaro have been receding since 1888? That was the first year that it was measured so Quien Sabe about the good old days when Obama’s great great grandfather was actively culling his herd. Incidentally, the Blizzard of 1888 is still remembered in America. Do you think there might be a connection? The preceding was a non sequitur. We’ll get to that soon.]
You say that it is always hot in DC in August but it’s never been this hot.
Assuming that it is so could you tell me what that means or what it implies. Declarative sentences only, please.
I recall a Washington Post story from the summer of 1996.
#1 – Donna Shalala, then HHS Secretary and now head of the pep squad for the University of Miami Hurricanes, gave President Handsome Billy from Hot Springs some bad news. There was no way to sugar coat it. We were all going to die from AIDS in 10 years.
This is 2012 – 16 years later – and I still haven’t bought any green bananas.
#2 – President Clinton made some brief remarks in the Rose Garden that day. “Hot enough for you?” was how he opened it. He then proceeded to turn 25 centuries of Western Civilization on its head. He said it was hot because of Global Warming. Further, there could be no doubt, what with the science being settled, that Global Warming was caused by that very hot day in August. Heat begets heat and that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
The World of Traditional Logic shuddered as it was being torn asunder.
As quickly as he could force them into the receiving end of the obfuscatory persiflage grinder, the Halusian gap of irrationality was filled with the admonitions against circular reasoning, the ban of tautologies, and hoc post ergo propter hoc. Non sequiturs became reasoned discourse. See. I told you we would get back to them.
Logic, the capstone of the Trivium, the mother lode of the DNA that has become the Western Canon, went into the ash heap. Big Bill only took a few questions because he didn’t want to be late for his AM Oval Office hummer.
[Speaking of “settled science”, and how is that horse’s ass for the ages, Vice President Alpha Gump, doing these days, exactly what is this flap over the God particle? Higgs boson? Up until last Thursday I thought it was the Jolly Tar wearing the cool hat with the great whistle. Do you suppose it is, to quote Vice President Curly Biden, “a big fucking deal”?]
I am never far from my copy of “The Population Bomb” by Paul Ehrlich, Ph.D. I just reached out and touched it. He posited a simple enough thesis. The year is 1970. The race is on as to whether we will starve to death or freeze to death. The finish line is set in reinforced rebarred concrete at 2000 AD
I admit that in addition to being follicley challenged I am calorically challenged. Not freezing, not starving, not dead from AIDS. You can see why 1996 was a year filled with great angst for me. I thought I had a good shot at beating the 2000 Dead Pool. Then she comes along a gives a new drop dead deadline.
We may yet save the polar bears. We won’t make any friends in the world of baby seals but, what the Hell, we all can’t eat tofu.
I have been asking the Miami Herald since 1997 to turn off the A/Cs in their World HQ by Biscayne Bay. Alas, my suggestion has not gained traction.
See if you can follow the Logic here. I’ll type slowly.
50% of the electricity generated in this country comes from burning coal. 50% of the electricity is used to generate power to run A/Cs. Can you see where I’m going here?
After the Washington Post goes room temperature the entire Federal apparatus goes off the grid. Imagine the Capitol without A/C for the months of June, July, August, September, and October up until Columbus Day. It’s possible that nothing will get done what with members keeling over from heat stroke. The country will be better off for it. The unintended serendipity is that 10 foot tall polar bears will become 12 foot polar bears at the expense of those cute baby seals. They were going to die anyway so rich 1% mostly White chicks can wear them. Here we can help an endangered species.
Perhaps you remember your first day of biology class. It’s fuzzy to me also. There was something about green plants, photosynthesis, and a long 4 letter word. That word is carbon dioxide.
The people who gave us Obamacare and skim milk, broccoli, and tofu malteds have said – Caesar Dixit comes to mind – that carbon dioxide is poisonous.
I want you to kill your ferns and bromeliads. I want you to burn your lawn and drown your rose bushes. It might be tough getting all those redwoods down by the autumnal equinox but we’re Americans and this is our 3rd Summer of Recovery. Yes, we can. Si, se puede.
You have a very special job. You are to tie yourself to the top of the Capitol dome like Ulysses. There, you are to hold your breath and count to 2012. In fact, I want you to duct tape your mouth, nose, and ears. I don’t want any of that damned CO2 getting out.
Your CV lists you as a Pulitzer Prize winner. I’m not sure what it is in but for damn sure it is not in any recognized sciences. Alchemy, perhaps astrology. You are picking up the mantle so proudly borne by Janet Cook. Good for you. I haven’t heard from her in a while. What is she up to these days?
Your final paragraph contains one teeny error.
Let’s assume that son of Solyndra works. Let’s assume that it produces electricity like coal on steroids. Let’s assume that it has so much juice that Ben Franklin comes back and blesses it.
How does the power get off the roof and into your A/C, there being no way of transmitting it? Maybe we can harness the tides in the Potomac to turn the windmills that will get the solar powered magic wands to run the A/C. Maybe we can have the Wizard of Oz keep shouting Shazaam!
It sure as Hell beats anything you’re saying.
Kevin Smith
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Letter to the Editor The Sun Sentinel
July 4, 2012
Letter to the Editor
The Sun Sentinel
500 E. Broward Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL. 33394
RE: Congratulations!
Sirs,
Your 2 page editorial section today is marvelous.
It begins with a Boca Raton reader saying how proud she is to be an American because “Jewish genius”, a heritage of which she is very proud, made music memorable. Would it be considered a hate crime to ask if she ever heard Klezmer music? Also, good editing would have included the term “stiff-necked” somewhere
Your main editorial reprints the Declaration of Independence…almost. You omit the reasons for the leave taking from the gentle handed jurisdiction of His Britannic Majesty... Here’s one that may still have resonance after more than 2 centuries.
“He has erected a multitude of new offices, and sent forth swarms
of officers, to harass our people and eat out their substance.”
Try to picture the best of the Post Office and the Department of Motor Vehicles rationing out nephrectomies and transesophogeal ecocardiograms. The Internal Revenue Service will be in charge of appeals. The rule of the jungle, the survival of the fittest, will give us our first Death Panels. Ah! The coming joys of Obamacare!
On your second page you present a most interesting juxtaposition.
Paul Greenberg deserves exposure if for no other reason than his being the first journalist to use Slick Willy, AKA President Handsome Billy form Hot Springs, as apt an appellation as any Arkansas politician ever earned. That he was able to get John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, and Adlai Stevenson into one article is evidence of his narrative skills. Further, his tangential reference to Richard Weaver can give the curious reader a delightful day of reading.
You end with Wee Robbie Reich.
I can say that without fear of the dreaded Word Police pounding on my door because it was President Clinton said that he had never met anyone whose suit size was 30 extra short. There is no truth to the rumor that Sandy Berger hid him in his clown pants when he was pilfering classified documents out of the National Security Agency. Wee Robbie is a bright guy. He could have catalogued the documents as quickly as this goniff was stealing them.
He stands tall in his constant caterwauling of the trite mantras of modern American Liberalism.
It begins with a call for free speech for him but not for me. Typical.
He says that rich people are evil because they refuse to pay their “fair” share of taxes. Why does the word “more” leap to mind when boobs like him talk about “fair”? Why is “fair” never defined? “Fair” is like the horizon. No matter how fast you run, no matter how hard you try, it is a goal line that can never be crossed. “Life”, we are reminded, “is unfair”.
He never mentions how “fair” it would be to attack the malefactors of great wealth,
2 examples will do.
The will of Senator Ted “Tosspot” Kennedy contains one asset that bears examination, very close examination. It is a trust begun for him by his boot legging, Hitler loving, anti-Semitic father in 1936. His estate will manage it for the benefit of his children. How “unfair” is that? 76 years of wealth and income mocking the hardworking 99% is a bit much, isn’t it? “Fairness” demands that this gazillion dollar tax dodge be broken up to help the single mothers, usually women of color, with children in need of a good Ritalin program who are being exploited by Wal*Mart.
My wife’s cousins went to New Trier High School in Winnetka, IL with the wife of Senator Jay Rockefeller [D-WVa] Her house was so big that it had an indoor golf course. Her husband’s family has killed more polar bears with its carbon footprint than anybody or anything since the last large asteroid hit the earth.
Would it not be “fair” for our undeserving poor, victims of life’s circumstances all, to share in the 1% swag? That’s only “fair”, right?
I wish you had included a reference to my Uncle Adam publishing his little book on July 4, 1776 also.
Now that would be “fair”.
Kevin Smith
Letter to the Editor
The Sun Sentinel
500 E. Broward Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL. 33394
RE: Congratulations!
Sirs,
Your 2 page editorial section today is marvelous.
It begins with a Boca Raton reader saying how proud she is to be an American because “Jewish genius”, a heritage of which she is very proud, made music memorable. Would it be considered a hate crime to ask if she ever heard Klezmer music? Also, good editing would have included the term “stiff-necked” somewhere
Your main editorial reprints the Declaration of Independence…almost. You omit the reasons for the leave taking from the gentle handed jurisdiction of His Britannic Majesty... Here’s one that may still have resonance after more than 2 centuries.
“He has erected a multitude of new offices, and sent forth swarms
of officers, to harass our people and eat out their substance.”
Try to picture the best of the Post Office and the Department of Motor Vehicles rationing out nephrectomies and transesophogeal ecocardiograms. The Internal Revenue Service will be in charge of appeals. The rule of the jungle, the survival of the fittest, will give us our first Death Panels. Ah! The coming joys of Obamacare!
On your second page you present a most interesting juxtaposition.
Paul Greenberg deserves exposure if for no other reason than his being the first journalist to use Slick Willy, AKA President Handsome Billy form Hot Springs, as apt an appellation as any Arkansas politician ever earned. That he was able to get John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, and Adlai Stevenson into one article is evidence of his narrative skills. Further, his tangential reference to Richard Weaver can give the curious reader a delightful day of reading.
You end with Wee Robbie Reich.
I can say that without fear of the dreaded Word Police pounding on my door because it was President Clinton said that he had never met anyone whose suit size was 30 extra short. There is no truth to the rumor that Sandy Berger hid him in his clown pants when he was pilfering classified documents out of the National Security Agency. Wee Robbie is a bright guy. He could have catalogued the documents as quickly as this goniff was stealing them.
He stands tall in his constant caterwauling of the trite mantras of modern American Liberalism.
It begins with a call for free speech for him but not for me. Typical.
He says that rich people are evil because they refuse to pay their “fair” share of taxes. Why does the word “more” leap to mind when boobs like him talk about “fair”? Why is “fair” never defined? “Fair” is like the horizon. No matter how fast you run, no matter how hard you try, it is a goal line that can never be crossed. “Life”, we are reminded, “is unfair”.
He never mentions how “fair” it would be to attack the malefactors of great wealth,
2 examples will do.
The will of Senator Ted “Tosspot” Kennedy contains one asset that bears examination, very close examination. It is a trust begun for him by his boot legging, Hitler loving, anti-Semitic father in 1936. His estate will manage it for the benefit of his children. How “unfair” is that? 76 years of wealth and income mocking the hardworking 99% is a bit much, isn’t it? “Fairness” demands that this gazillion dollar tax dodge be broken up to help the single mothers, usually women of color, with children in need of a good Ritalin program who are being exploited by Wal*Mart.
My wife’s cousins went to New Trier High School in Winnetka, IL with the wife of Senator Jay Rockefeller [D-WVa] Her house was so big that it had an indoor golf course. Her husband’s family has killed more polar bears with its carbon footprint than anybody or anything since the last large asteroid hit the earth.
Would it not be “fair” for our undeserving poor, victims of life’s circumstances all, to share in the 1% swag? That’s only “fair”, right?
I wish you had included a reference to my Uncle Adam publishing his little book on July 4, 1776 also.
Now that would be “fair”.
Kevin Smith
Governor Peter Shumlin, Vermont
July 5, 2012
Governor Peter Shumlin
109 State Street, Pavilion
Montpelier, VT 05609
RE: “Such stupidity, sir, is not to be found in Nature.”
Governor Shumlin,
It has been confirmed, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you said the following:
“Human beings survived for thousands of years and thousands
of years without oil and natural gas” said Governor Peter Shumlin
after signing a bill banning fracking.
We also lived for thousands and thousands of years without the overture to The Marriage of Figaro. Consider how long we went without the benefits of the TV remote control. Humankind, and doesn’t that sound asinine, was denied the pleasures of the Green Bay Packer sweep. What did we do without penicillin? Let me answer that. We died. This country decided that it was a good idea to go to the moon, walk around for a few days, pick up some great souvenirs, and come home. You can file that under “bitch slapping gravity”. Have you ever had a PET scan? Have you ever flown the Concorde? I have. Do you have a dumb phone? Is Ptolemy still your favorite astronomer? Have you yet turned off all A/Cs in state owned buildings as a way to cut back on your carbon footprint? When you do the polar bears will thank you, you boob.
Pop Quiz. Open Book
Walk into the nearest emergency room. You’re the friggin’ Governor, You can do it. Take a uniformed state trooper with you. See how far you can get without being overwhelmed by the astonishing amount of plastic needed to run the place. Doubtless, this will come as a surprise to you but plastic doesn’t grow on trees. It is a by-product of petroleum. Some of it comes from wells that have been “fracked”. Would not Logic dictate that products coming from “fracked” wells be banned in your state?
The “stupidity” quote is from Samuel Johnson. It is obvious that he never was in Vermont.
Kevin Smith
PS – Breaking news, you dunce. Boats no longer fall off the edge of the world. You are proof positive that, at least in Vermont, the boobies are running the hatch.
Governor Peter Shumlin
109 State Street, Pavilion
Montpelier, VT 05609
RE: “Such stupidity, sir, is not to be found in Nature.”
Governor Shumlin,
It has been confirmed, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you said the following:
“Human beings survived for thousands of years and thousands
of years without oil and natural gas” said Governor Peter Shumlin
after signing a bill banning fracking.
We also lived for thousands and thousands of years without the overture to The Marriage of Figaro. Consider how long we went without the benefits of the TV remote control. Humankind, and doesn’t that sound asinine, was denied the pleasures of the Green Bay Packer sweep. What did we do without penicillin? Let me answer that. We died. This country decided that it was a good idea to go to the moon, walk around for a few days, pick up some great souvenirs, and come home. You can file that under “bitch slapping gravity”. Have you ever had a PET scan? Have you ever flown the Concorde? I have. Do you have a dumb phone? Is Ptolemy still your favorite astronomer? Have you yet turned off all A/Cs in state owned buildings as a way to cut back on your carbon footprint? When you do the polar bears will thank you, you boob.
Pop Quiz. Open Book
Walk into the nearest emergency room. You’re the friggin’ Governor, You can do it. Take a uniformed state trooper with you. See how far you can get without being overwhelmed by the astonishing amount of plastic needed to run the place. Doubtless, this will come as a surprise to you but plastic doesn’t grow on trees. It is a by-product of petroleum. Some of it comes from wells that have been “fracked”. Would not Logic dictate that products coming from “fracked” wells be banned in your state?
The “stupidity” quote is from Samuel Johnson. It is obvious that he never was in Vermont.
Kevin Smith
PS – Breaking news, you dunce. Boats no longer fall off the edge of the world. You are proof positive that, at least in Vermont, the boobies are running the hatch.
Earl Morgan The Jersey Journal
July 4, 2012
Earl Morgan
The Jersey Journal
30 Journal Square
Jersey City, NJ 07306
RE: Some comments on your 4/18 column on Mrs. Romney that reeks of the eclectic indignation so common to modern American Liberals.
Mr. Morgan,
2 things:
#1 – Sorry for the delay. The best guys at the Post Office are in training for the Obamacare Death Panels. The Department of Motor Vehicles is now in charge of interstate mail.
#2 – Stop the Presses! The final straw! She likes to ride horses.
If I send you my autographed copy of Jacqueline Kennedy horseback riding with
Sweet Caroline will you promise to dispose of it in an environmentally sensitive manner?
It has been said that Mad Cap Gypsy Lady Teresa Heinz Kerry, a woman with at least 6 times the net worth of the Romneys, a woman who bought her husband a yacht built in New Zealand for $7,000,000 [Did Bain Capital outsource all the New England boat builders? Find out if you can.] is also an accomplished equestrienne. She learned from her great-grandfather who used them when he was herding slaves he bought from Obama’s great-grandfather. Did you write any columns about that?
You have to be from Hudson County – I’m from Bayonne – to appreciate the following.
#1 – Mrs. Obama worked for wages once in her life. She had about 47 billable hours in 15 months at a law firm.
#2 – She sat with her husband in Reverend Wright’s church for 20 years. Like Sgt. Schultz she would respond under oath in the Chicago style. “I know nothing. I saw nothing. I heard nothing. What did you say his name was?”
#3 – She gets a job at the University of Chicago Hospital as in house counsel for
the part time 3rd shift dietary volunteers. She also mediated parking disputes.
#4 – Her husband is elected to the United States Senate.
#5 – He gets her employer a $1,000,000 earmark to study whether tofu can be given to diabetics intravenously and whether aromatherapy is good for Stage 3C Uterine Papillary Serous Carcinoma.
#6 – The hospital gives her a $4,000 a week raise – repeat – a $4,000 a week raise.
#7 – With that money and the fact that she now lives rent free in public housing she bypasses the really fine public schools in Washington and spends $100,000 a year for tuition at snooty private schools. What’s wrong with the really fine public schools in Washington? Does she know something that other residents of public housing there don’t know? Shouldn’t she tell them?
My wife’s cousins went to New Trier High School in Winnetka, Illinois with Mrs. Jay Rockefeller. Sharon Percy’s house was so big that it had an indoor golf course. It was just a par 3. That’s probably why you never heard of it.
The Kennedys, all of them, are all members of the exclusive Lucky Sperm Club. It is known that they like to ride, that they have never been to Wal-Mart, and that they really feel the pain of the 99%.
It’s July 4th. I’ll stop hammering you, you boob.
You qualify for one of my highly acclaimed, much sought after awards. I hereby proclaim you
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
No minority set asides for you. No Affirmative Action here. You got it the old fashioned way. You earned it
Kevin Smith
PS – Love the picture of you wearing that hat. All it needs is a feather and we’re all going uptown or maybe downtown.
Earl Morgan
The Jersey Journal
30 Journal Square
Jersey City, NJ 07306
RE: Some comments on your 4/18 column on Mrs. Romney that reeks of the eclectic indignation so common to modern American Liberals.
Mr. Morgan,
2 things:
#1 – Sorry for the delay. The best guys at the Post Office are in training for the Obamacare Death Panels. The Department of Motor Vehicles is now in charge of interstate mail.
#2 – Stop the Presses! The final straw! She likes to ride horses.
If I send you my autographed copy of Jacqueline Kennedy horseback riding with
Sweet Caroline will you promise to dispose of it in an environmentally sensitive manner?
It has been said that Mad Cap Gypsy Lady Teresa Heinz Kerry, a woman with at least 6 times the net worth of the Romneys, a woman who bought her husband a yacht built in New Zealand for $7,000,000 [Did Bain Capital outsource all the New England boat builders? Find out if you can.] is also an accomplished equestrienne. She learned from her great-grandfather who used them when he was herding slaves he bought from Obama’s great-grandfather. Did you write any columns about that?
You have to be from Hudson County – I’m from Bayonne – to appreciate the following.
#1 – Mrs. Obama worked for wages once in her life. She had about 47 billable hours in 15 months at a law firm.
#2 – She sat with her husband in Reverend Wright’s church for 20 years. Like Sgt. Schultz she would respond under oath in the Chicago style. “I know nothing. I saw nothing. I heard nothing. What did you say his name was?”
#3 – She gets a job at the University of Chicago Hospital as in house counsel for
the part time 3rd shift dietary volunteers. She also mediated parking disputes.
#4 – Her husband is elected to the United States Senate.
#5 – He gets her employer a $1,000,000 earmark to study whether tofu can be given to diabetics intravenously and whether aromatherapy is good for Stage 3C Uterine Papillary Serous Carcinoma.
#6 – The hospital gives her a $4,000 a week raise – repeat – a $4,000 a week raise.
#7 – With that money and the fact that she now lives rent free in public housing she bypasses the really fine public schools in Washington and spends $100,000 a year for tuition at snooty private schools. What’s wrong with the really fine public schools in Washington? Does she know something that other residents of public housing there don’t know? Shouldn’t she tell them?
My wife’s cousins went to New Trier High School in Winnetka, Illinois with Mrs. Jay Rockefeller. Sharon Percy’s house was so big that it had an indoor golf course. It was just a par 3. That’s probably why you never heard of it.
The Kennedys, all of them, are all members of the exclusive Lucky Sperm Club. It is known that they like to ride, that they have never been to Wal-Mart, and that they really feel the pain of the 99%.
It’s July 4th. I’ll stop hammering you, you boob.
You qualify for one of my highly acclaimed, much sought after awards. I hereby proclaim you
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
No minority set asides for you. No Affirmative Action here. You got it the old fashioned way. You earned it
Kevin Smith
PS – Love the picture of you wearing that hat. All it needs is a feather and we’re all going uptown or maybe downtown.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
5-4
July 1, 2012
A 5 to 4 split vote in the Supreme Court and a dead Senator from Massachusetts – no, not Tosspot Ted Kennedy - and the beauty and joy of being free men. There is a connection.
A week ago we were told that if the Supreme Court overturned Obamacare 5 to 4, with the minority votes being cast by the good modern American Liberal Justices and the majority votes being cast by the Halliburton/Koch Brothers/Right-Wing talk radio bought and paid for Justices, that the Mayan calendar day of doom would be on us sooner than we expected.
The vote was 5 to 4. The earth remained on its axis. This year’s version of the perennial favorite, The Summer of Recovery, is about to begin. All that remains undecided is where will Lord Barack and his family spend their vacation, a vacation sorely needed after a year of TV infomercial begathons, $40,000 dinners where Latino donors were not allowed to have knives and forks, 12 rounds of golf a week, each week, including using colored balls to play in the snow, his wife starting “to feel really proud of her country”, and his kids getting him his much wanted Austrian/English dictionary and the atlas showing us where those 7 or 8 missing states are.
The vote was 5 to 4 to uphold the law.
One point in re that vote must be made.
It is now 4 days since Chief Justice Roberts read his decision. I have not read nor have I heard one word of praise, however muted, or thankfulness, however strained, from the “Trousered Apes” who command the heights above one side of the arena. Not one. The gene chock-a-block filled with the DNA of graciousness is, as always, absent from the modern American Liberals who suffer from “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”.
It is just a case of living down to expectations.
In the land of the blind the one-eyed man is King. The dead Senator, Paul Tsongas [D-MA] was an honorable politician in a state where a convention of like-minded people could be held in a phone booth.
Rotters, grifters, poltroons, drunks, murderers, stealers of hot stoves, make up the elected and appointed body politic of Massachusetts. Now we have a Senate candidate, Elizabeth Warren, who says Sitting Bull and Crazy Horse arm wrestled to see who would be her grandfather. She championed buying and flipping properties and evicting occupants long before it became a spectator sport. She has $14,000,000 in a money market account and says with a straight face and no lightning bolts setting her drawers on fire that she “feels the pain” of the oppressed 99%. That all this began when she lied on her job application is glossed over by her fellow travelers. After all, she and the President are in favor of 5th trimester abortions. That’s all that counts, right?
Senator Tsongas was an honorable politician in that he answered questions about the failed Equal Rights Amendment. When chairing a committee that sought public input into the reality of how the law would be implemented he said over and over that “The Court will decide” or “The Court will tell us”.
When Senator Tsongas died his wife bypassed Surrogate’s Court and claimed the Congressional seat her husband occupied. [Think of Mrs. Hubert Humphries and Mrs. George Wallace] I mention this because there was a TV report of former Congressman Patrick Kennedy giving a speech that showed a thick tongue, a trait he got from Lard Kennedy, his deceased stunt driving dad, is still not an impediment to public discourse in the Bay State. In partial defense of the state it must be said that young Kennedy had to be sent to a “rotten boro” in neighboring Rhode Island to get his sad sack sorry ass into Congress.
One of the core beliefs of modern American Liberalism is that, deep down, the people are not to be trusted. “What’s the Matter with Kansas?” is a polite way of asking why anybody votes for any Republican anywhere, anytime.
They depended on an unelected Judiciary to decide the big matters. As long as the Judges decided “correctly”, they were good. If a potential Judge were deemed to be ideologically unfit he was to be both pilloried and peed on. Vide Clement Haynesworth, Douglas Ginzburg, Robert Bork, Clarence Thomas, Charles Pickering, inter alia.
It appears that Chief Justice Roberts has overturned the Tsongas rule.
He said it was not within the Court’s jurisdiction to decide whether or not it was good policy. He said that the Court was to decide whether or not the Congress had the authority to do so. Further, he said that the Constitution gives the Congress, at the direction of the President, the power to tax.
For 2 years the argument was made that taxes need not be raised to pay for this latest helping of “Rainbow Stew”. Justice Roberts pointed out that If it were not for the taxing power of the Congress the vote would have been 5 to 4 against.
Perhaps it’s time for the people to decide.
But wait, there’s more.
In the Arizona immigration case the Court held that it would be better for the people to decide.
My copy of the Constitution – Article 4, Section 4 – says “The United States shall guarantee to every State in this Union a republican form of government, and shall protect each of them from invasion…”
United States Border Patrol Agent Brian Terry was killed defending Arizona from invasion. It turns out that the gun used to kill him was part of a plan –“Fast & Furious” – that said it was sound public policy to send guns illegally across the United States/Mexican border to see how fast they could be sent back, also illegally, across the Mexico/United States border. I think we can stipulate that all gun handling “bitter clingers” would lack the wit to cobble together a plan as brilliant as that. Only really, really smart people could think up something so friggin’ clever as that
Congress wants to know what happened. Getting no cooperation from the Executive branch they subpoenaed the Attorney General. He, a man who began his illustrious second Federal career by calling all his [White] fellow Americans “cowards”, said “No”. He told them at the behest of the White House to shove their subpoena up its ass in a most judicious manner. AG Holder’s first Federal career was being the bag man for all the Clinton pardons. Acorns never fall far from the tree.
I would say it was a Mexican standoff save for the fact that we have a dead American whose parents have the flag they received at his grave but none of the answers they need. [Willy Horton, Michael Dukakis, murder, ignored Maryland relatives – the parallels are typical of modern American Liberalism, aren’t they?]
Here comes the good part.
We have an election in November. This country has a proud tradition of overturning Supreme Court decisions at the ballot box. November, 1860 began the process that tossed out the Dred Scott law.
We now have 3 years of precedent that says a President can pick and choose the laws that he intends to obey. He also gets to pick and choose the laws that he intends to disobey.
The American people, having seen the Rule of Law [Rule of Law? SASE] stood on its head, can put it back right side up this November.
Don’t forget to bring your photo ID.
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
A 5 to 4 split vote in the Supreme Court and a dead Senator from Massachusetts – no, not Tosspot Ted Kennedy - and the beauty and joy of being free men. There is a connection.
A week ago we were told that if the Supreme Court overturned Obamacare 5 to 4, with the minority votes being cast by the good modern American Liberal Justices and the majority votes being cast by the Halliburton/Koch Brothers/Right-Wing talk radio bought and paid for Justices, that the Mayan calendar day of doom would be on us sooner than we expected.
The vote was 5 to 4. The earth remained on its axis. This year’s version of the perennial favorite, The Summer of Recovery, is about to begin. All that remains undecided is where will Lord Barack and his family spend their vacation, a vacation sorely needed after a year of TV infomercial begathons, $40,000 dinners where Latino donors were not allowed to have knives and forks, 12 rounds of golf a week, each week, including using colored balls to play in the snow, his wife starting “to feel really proud of her country”, and his kids getting him his much wanted Austrian/English dictionary and the atlas showing us where those 7 or 8 missing states are.
The vote was 5 to 4 to uphold the law.
One point in re that vote must be made.
It is now 4 days since Chief Justice Roberts read his decision. I have not read nor have I heard one word of praise, however muted, or thankfulness, however strained, from the “Trousered Apes” who command the heights above one side of the arena. Not one. The gene chock-a-block filled with the DNA of graciousness is, as always, absent from the modern American Liberals who suffer from “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”.
It is just a case of living down to expectations.
In the land of the blind the one-eyed man is King. The dead Senator, Paul Tsongas [D-MA] was an honorable politician in a state where a convention of like-minded people could be held in a phone booth.
Rotters, grifters, poltroons, drunks, murderers, stealers of hot stoves, make up the elected and appointed body politic of Massachusetts. Now we have a Senate candidate, Elizabeth Warren, who says Sitting Bull and Crazy Horse arm wrestled to see who would be her grandfather. She championed buying and flipping properties and evicting occupants long before it became a spectator sport. She has $14,000,000 in a money market account and says with a straight face and no lightning bolts setting her drawers on fire that she “feels the pain” of the oppressed 99%. That all this began when she lied on her job application is glossed over by her fellow travelers. After all, she and the President are in favor of 5th trimester abortions. That’s all that counts, right?
Senator Tsongas was an honorable politician in that he answered questions about the failed Equal Rights Amendment. When chairing a committee that sought public input into the reality of how the law would be implemented he said over and over that “The Court will decide” or “The Court will tell us”.
When Senator Tsongas died his wife bypassed Surrogate’s Court and claimed the Congressional seat her husband occupied. [Think of Mrs. Hubert Humphries and Mrs. George Wallace] I mention this because there was a TV report of former Congressman Patrick Kennedy giving a speech that showed a thick tongue, a trait he got from Lard Kennedy, his deceased stunt driving dad, is still not an impediment to public discourse in the Bay State. In partial defense of the state it must be said that young Kennedy had to be sent to a “rotten boro” in neighboring Rhode Island to get his sad sack sorry ass into Congress.
One of the core beliefs of modern American Liberalism is that, deep down, the people are not to be trusted. “What’s the Matter with Kansas?” is a polite way of asking why anybody votes for any Republican anywhere, anytime.
They depended on an unelected Judiciary to decide the big matters. As long as the Judges decided “correctly”, they were good. If a potential Judge were deemed to be ideologically unfit he was to be both pilloried and peed on. Vide Clement Haynesworth, Douglas Ginzburg, Robert Bork, Clarence Thomas, Charles Pickering, inter alia.
It appears that Chief Justice Roberts has overturned the Tsongas rule.
He said it was not within the Court’s jurisdiction to decide whether or not it was good policy. He said that the Court was to decide whether or not the Congress had the authority to do so. Further, he said that the Constitution gives the Congress, at the direction of the President, the power to tax.
For 2 years the argument was made that taxes need not be raised to pay for this latest helping of “Rainbow Stew”. Justice Roberts pointed out that If it were not for the taxing power of the Congress the vote would have been 5 to 4 against.
Perhaps it’s time for the people to decide.
But wait, there’s more.
In the Arizona immigration case the Court held that it would be better for the people to decide.
My copy of the Constitution – Article 4, Section 4 – says “The United States shall guarantee to every State in this Union a republican form of government, and shall protect each of them from invasion…”
United States Border Patrol Agent Brian Terry was killed defending Arizona from invasion. It turns out that the gun used to kill him was part of a plan –“Fast & Furious” – that said it was sound public policy to send guns illegally across the United States/Mexican border to see how fast they could be sent back, also illegally, across the Mexico/United States border. I think we can stipulate that all gun handling “bitter clingers” would lack the wit to cobble together a plan as brilliant as that. Only really, really smart people could think up something so friggin’ clever as that
Congress wants to know what happened. Getting no cooperation from the Executive branch they subpoenaed the Attorney General. He, a man who began his illustrious second Federal career by calling all his [White] fellow Americans “cowards”, said “No”. He told them at the behest of the White House to shove their subpoena up its ass in a most judicious manner. AG Holder’s first Federal career was being the bag man for all the Clinton pardons. Acorns never fall far from the tree.
I would say it was a Mexican standoff save for the fact that we have a dead American whose parents have the flag they received at his grave but none of the answers they need. [Willy Horton, Michael Dukakis, murder, ignored Maryland relatives – the parallels are typical of modern American Liberalism, aren’t they?]
Here comes the good part.
We have an election in November. This country has a proud tradition of overturning Supreme Court decisions at the ballot box. November, 1860 began the process that tossed out the Dred Scott law.
We now have 3 years of precedent that says a President can pick and choose the laws that he intends to obey. He also gets to pick and choose the laws that he intends to disobey.
The American people, having seen the Rule of Law [Rule of Law? SASE] stood on its head, can put it back right side up this November.
Don’t forget to bring your photo ID.
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Monday, July 2, 2012
Barbara Griffin Head of School Saint Dominic Academy
July 1, 2012
Barbara Griffin
Head of School
Saint Dominic Academy
2572 Kennedy Boulevard
Jersey City, NJ 07304
My wife, Amy Chapman Smith, was graduated from St. Dominic Academy in 1960. She died on August 25, 2011.
Some time ago I asked you to post the notice of her death in your News/Alumna letter and then strike my name from your rolls.
The reason was simple. Its name, Pentimento, and its connection with Lillian Hellman, was more than I could stomach. How a religious institution, particularly one connected with the Dominican love of reason and philosophic enquiry could be associated with this slatternly mountebank is still quite beyond me.
I enclose 2 articles published since my letter to you.
I present these, not in defense of my argument, but as outside proof that she gave hookers a bad name.
Perhaps Mary Magdalene would be a better example for the young ladies under your charge. At least she came to accept God’s grace. [Is The Hound of Heaven to be found anywhere in your curriculum?]
The reason for this note is simple. Yesterday was the anniversary of Lillian Hellman's death. As is my custom, I send an armed guard to surround her grave, bayonets pointing in. I do this lest this moral, cultural, and literary succubus slip out of her grave site and further infect Western Civilization.
Kevin Smith
Barbara Griffin
Head of School
Saint Dominic Academy
2572 Kennedy Boulevard
Jersey City, NJ 07304
My wife, Amy Chapman Smith, was graduated from St. Dominic Academy in 1960. She died on August 25, 2011.
Some time ago I asked you to post the notice of her death in your News/Alumna letter and then strike my name from your rolls.
The reason was simple. Its name, Pentimento, and its connection with Lillian Hellman, was more than I could stomach. How a religious institution, particularly one connected with the Dominican love of reason and philosophic enquiry could be associated with this slatternly mountebank is still quite beyond me.
I enclose 2 articles published since my letter to you.
I present these, not in defense of my argument, but as outside proof that she gave hookers a bad name.
Perhaps Mary Magdalene would be a better example for the young ladies under your charge. At least she came to accept God’s grace. [Is The Hound of Heaven to be found anywhere in your curriculum?]
The reason for this note is simple. Yesterday was the anniversary of Lillian Hellman's death. As is my custom, I send an armed guard to surround her grave, bayonets pointing in. I do this lest this moral, cultural, and literary succubus slip out of her grave site and further infect Western Civilization.
Kevin Smith
Chris Cillizza The Washington Post
June 30, 2012
Chris Cillizza
The Washington Post
1150 15th Street, NW
Washington, DC 20071
RE: “Only Allah can weave a perfect rug.”
Mr. Cillizza,
I used to say “Homer nods” when I discovered a mistake. Not anymore.
If I were to mention Homer that might suggest that an over the hill DWEM still had influence in our culture. The Church of modern American Liberalism demands that obeisance and fealty be paid to multi-culturalism. Thus my reference to Allah even though there is substantial evidence that Mohammed, his head flack, was a goat humping pedophile.
If the tax payers of America can have their funds used to produce a play – Corpus Cristi – that says that Jesus and Judas were homosexual lovers and that Judas dropped a dime on his pal, said snitching leading to his crucifixion, I can say that Mohammed moved sheep shagging to a new level, right?
My mistake was in granting Andrea Mitchell exclusive status.
As long as Helen Thomas expels CO2 and contributes to the plight of polar bears she must be included on the list. She is of invaluable help to me twice a year. She has a face that can stop a clock. I am responsible for the alarm system of a large building. The common area A/C, the pool motor, the cameras, the elevator, the laundromat, the intercom are all dependent of the clock being changed twice a year. I admit that an hour ahead or an hour behind has always confused me. Twice a year I put a photo of her up close and personal in front of the electronic clock. It stops them as if they were hit by a Louisville slugger. [I’ll get to them later.]
I have an hour to reconfigure, rejiggle, “reset” as Hillary Clinton says.
I couldn’t do it without her.
The other less than gracefully aging Hecate – perhaps harridan is better for her – is Barbara Walters.
She is older than most of the trees in Muir Woods. From when she was a Manhattan teenager and she discovered that the balls that the Louisville Sluggers lifted by the New York Yankees were not limited to batting practice she has been a fistula on the body politic
Come to think of it, a way to reduce the deficit would be to put the three of them, Andrea Mitchell, Helen Thomas, and Baba Wawa, into a canoe and send it down the Niagara River. All proceeds would be used to borrow less that day from the meretricious Mandarin moneylenders.
This, I bring the scales back into balance.
Smarminess abounds and, Heaven forefend, is in the ascendancy.
Kevin Smith
Chris Cillizza
The Washington Post
1150 15th Street, NW
Washington, DC 20071
RE: “Only Allah can weave a perfect rug.”
Mr. Cillizza,
I used to say “Homer nods” when I discovered a mistake. Not anymore.
If I were to mention Homer that might suggest that an over the hill DWEM still had influence in our culture. The Church of modern American Liberalism demands that obeisance and fealty be paid to multi-culturalism. Thus my reference to Allah even though there is substantial evidence that Mohammed, his head flack, was a goat humping pedophile.
If the tax payers of America can have their funds used to produce a play – Corpus Cristi – that says that Jesus and Judas were homosexual lovers and that Judas dropped a dime on his pal, said snitching leading to his crucifixion, I can say that Mohammed moved sheep shagging to a new level, right?
My mistake was in granting Andrea Mitchell exclusive status.
As long as Helen Thomas expels CO2 and contributes to the plight of polar bears she must be included on the list. She is of invaluable help to me twice a year. She has a face that can stop a clock. I am responsible for the alarm system of a large building. The common area A/C, the pool motor, the cameras, the elevator, the laundromat, the intercom are all dependent of the clock being changed twice a year. I admit that an hour ahead or an hour behind has always confused me. Twice a year I put a photo of her up close and personal in front of the electronic clock. It stops them as if they were hit by a Louisville slugger. [I’ll get to them later.]
I have an hour to reconfigure, rejiggle, “reset” as Hillary Clinton says.
I couldn’t do it without her.
The other less than gracefully aging Hecate – perhaps harridan is better for her – is Barbara Walters.
She is older than most of the trees in Muir Woods. From when she was a Manhattan teenager and she discovered that the balls that the Louisville Sluggers lifted by the New York Yankees were not limited to batting practice she has been a fistula on the body politic
Come to think of it, a way to reduce the deficit would be to put the three of them, Andrea Mitchell, Helen Thomas, and Baba Wawa, into a canoe and send it down the Niagara River. All proceeds would be used to borrow less that day from the meretricious Mandarin moneylenders.
This, I bring the scales back into balance.
Smarminess abounds and, Heaven forefend, is in the ascendancy.
Kevin Smith
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz Democratic National Committee
June 26, 2012
Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
Democratic National Committee
430 S. Capitol Street
Washington, DC 20003
RE: Godfrey Daniel! Don’t do that to me again.
Debbie, Debbie,
Crikey!
I woke up yesterday to see a headline screaming, “Debbie slams Florida”. I know we’ve disappointed you from time to time. I know you, as a modern American Liberal, have to discipline us from time to time. Then I found out it was a tropical storm.
Anyway, today’s campaign tip involves David Axelrod, gun control, drowning polar bears, and GlobalCoolingGlobalWarmingClimateChange.
I’ll bet you never knew I was in the coal business. The quintessential fossil fuel. I have been underground in Kentucky and West Virginia. I still have some friends in the business.
Herewith today’s modest proposal.
Let me bring David Axelrod to coal country. After we wash down some Moon Pies with RC Cola we’ll go underground. Not into one of those girly man coal mines with a 10 foot ceiling. 60 inches is about right. The only way you can stand up is if your name is Toulouse-Lautrec. Roof bolts, continuous mining machines, and some unsuspecting canaries.
After work he’ll be able to explain his views on life without the 2nd Amendment to guys with dirty faces, pick-up trucks with NRA decals, and some very pronounced views on the subject. I’ll try to interpose myself between him and some of the more vocal “bitter clingers”. GlobalCoolingGlobalWarmingClimateChange, a real winner, will be the next topic.
You may find this hard to believe but polar bears are very popular animals in Appalachia. The name ranks 3rd on the list of most popular high school nick-names in coal country. Any news of them drowning is a bummer. The way to save them is surprisingly simple.
Follow the bouncing ball.
50% of the electricity generated in this country comes from burning coal. 50% of that electricity is used to power A/Cs. Let’s, gulp, turn them off. If we do that we won’t need coal. The symbolism of turning off the A/C in Congress will be powerful. The sting of unemployment will be off-set by the warm and fuzzy glow you get when you save a drowning polar bear. The only loser here will be the baby seal world but somebody has to draw the short straw in this Zero Sum game, right? I mean Think Globally Act Locally has to start somewhere, right? Once we get rid of the stigma of giving selfish Americans a ginormous carbon footprint by getting rid of the ginormous carbon footprint we’ll turn the place into Silicon Valley East. An interim step would be to turn the abandoned coal towns into phone centers for the Indian electronics and software industry.
[Not Elizabeth Warren Indian but, rather, Gung Din Indian]
The fundamental transformation of a nation is never easy. He may have to spend some time with the snake handling crowd but with his certain style, that special grace, his Cary Grant/Jack Kennedy panache he’ll win them over.
Yesterday was the anniversary of Custer getting the chop. I was worried that Elizabeth Warren, known as Princess SummerFallWinterLiar to her friends, was going to kill the first White man she saw with blue eyes and long blond hair. After she killed him she was going to scalp him and then cut his heart out and eat it. Thank God she was rehearsing to be Barney Frank’s Maid of Honor!
Tomorrow I’ll tell you how to turn “Fast and Furious” into a plus.
Kevin Smith
Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
Democratic National Committee
430 S. Capitol Street
Washington, DC 20003
RE: Godfrey Daniel! Don’t do that to me again.
Debbie, Debbie,
Crikey!
I woke up yesterday to see a headline screaming, “Debbie slams Florida”. I know we’ve disappointed you from time to time. I know you, as a modern American Liberal, have to discipline us from time to time. Then I found out it was a tropical storm.
Anyway, today’s campaign tip involves David Axelrod, gun control, drowning polar bears, and GlobalCoolingGlobalWarmingClimateChange.
I’ll bet you never knew I was in the coal business. The quintessential fossil fuel. I have been underground in Kentucky and West Virginia. I still have some friends in the business.
Herewith today’s modest proposal.
Let me bring David Axelrod to coal country. After we wash down some Moon Pies with RC Cola we’ll go underground. Not into one of those girly man coal mines with a 10 foot ceiling. 60 inches is about right. The only way you can stand up is if your name is Toulouse-Lautrec. Roof bolts, continuous mining machines, and some unsuspecting canaries.
After work he’ll be able to explain his views on life without the 2nd Amendment to guys with dirty faces, pick-up trucks with NRA decals, and some very pronounced views on the subject. I’ll try to interpose myself between him and some of the more vocal “bitter clingers”. GlobalCoolingGlobalWarmingClimateChange, a real winner, will be the next topic.
You may find this hard to believe but polar bears are very popular animals in Appalachia. The name ranks 3rd on the list of most popular high school nick-names in coal country. Any news of them drowning is a bummer. The way to save them is surprisingly simple.
Follow the bouncing ball.
50% of the electricity generated in this country comes from burning coal. 50% of that electricity is used to power A/Cs. Let’s, gulp, turn them off. If we do that we won’t need coal. The symbolism of turning off the A/C in Congress will be powerful. The sting of unemployment will be off-set by the warm and fuzzy glow you get when you save a drowning polar bear. The only loser here will be the baby seal world but somebody has to draw the short straw in this Zero Sum game, right? I mean Think Globally Act Locally has to start somewhere, right? Once we get rid of the stigma of giving selfish Americans a ginormous carbon footprint by getting rid of the ginormous carbon footprint we’ll turn the place into Silicon Valley East. An interim step would be to turn the abandoned coal towns into phone centers for the Indian electronics and software industry.
[Not Elizabeth Warren Indian but, rather, Gung Din Indian]
The fundamental transformation of a nation is never easy. He may have to spend some time with the snake handling crowd but with his certain style, that special grace, his Cary Grant/Jack Kennedy panache he’ll win them over.
Yesterday was the anniversary of Custer getting the chop. I was worried that Elizabeth Warren, known as Princess SummerFallWinterLiar to her friends, was going to kill the first White man she saw with blue eyes and long blond hair. After she killed him she was going to scalp him and then cut his heart out and eat it. Thank God she was rehearsing to be Barney Frank’s Maid of Honor!
Tomorrow I’ll tell you how to turn “Fast and Furious” into a plus.
Kevin Smith
Leonard Pitts, Jr. The Miami Herald
June 27, 2012
Leonard Pitts, Jr.
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 33132-1693
RE: “What Romney should say to the NAACP convention” – A comment or two on your column in today’s Miami Herald.
Mr. Pitts,
The Dream Team, the Dream Act, and now the Dream Speech, a speech that you would like to hear candidate Romney give to the NAACP.
3 things:
#1 – “Under the failed ‘War on Drugs’, young men from your communities have been incarcerated at rates that are a national scandal.”
May I ask, and by so doing still avoid the Scarlet R so quickly given to those who dissent from settled wisdom, if these young men are incarcerated because of the law or because they broke the law?
#2 – “In this very day we see members of my party seeking to gut the Voting Rights Act and are questioning the legality of the Civil Rights Act.”
It is a dirty little secret, a secret propelled down the memory hole of “eclectic indignation” at a speed equal to the Pioneer space probe that if it weren’t for Republican votes neither of those bills would have become law.
Senator Russell [D-GA], Senator Stennis [D- MS], and Senator Ervin [D-NC] had many things in common. Chief among them was the life long fight to keep Black kids from going to school with White kids.
Senator Russell has the Senate office building named after him. Senator Stennis has an aircraft carrier [CVN74] named after him. Senator Ervin, a man known for his collection of lawn jockeys, earned a perpetual indulgence from the modern American Liberals who dispense such things because of his successful pursuit of the hated Nixon.
Let me add the name of Senator J. William Fullbright [D-AR] to the list. He had an intern named William Jefferson Blyth Clinton from Hot Springs working in his state office. It is known if Handsome Billy began his up close and personal training to become the first Black President during his time with this racist Senator.
None of these men – Democrats all – ever saw a civil rights bill they could vote for. Never.
#3 – “In 1994, when Jeb Bush was running for Governor, someone asked him what he would do for black voters if elected. ‘Probably nothing,’ he said.”
What should he have said or done?
Should he have pardoned all Black prisoners convicted of drug crimes?
Should he have prevented the Navy from berthing the Stennis at any Florida port?
Should he have told any Senate candidates that unless they swore to forgo residence in the Russell building he would oppose them?
The political conundrum of the civil rights program is that, like the horizon, it is unreachable. Rights are not given by governments. They are ours, “from beyond the stars”. I add with the obligatory caveat that while the American Constitution is not perfect it is still the envy of the world. Its genius is its 2 part division. The first part spells out precisely what government can do. The second part spells out precisely what government cannot do.
Constitutions routinely call for equal protection under the law.
If Governor Bush “did” something for Black voters which group of non-Black voters would he have to do something to? Life, we are told, is a Zero Sum game. Modern American Liberals insist that the proper role of government is to cut the static pie “fairly”, with “fairly” never being defined save by the word “more”.
Candidate Obama told us that he wants to “spread the wealth around”.
It is devoutly to be wished that Governor Romney would include in his speech the following comments.
“It is agonizingly self-evident that President Obama has no idea, none whatsoever, of how to “create” wealth The idea that it becomes exponentially easier to spread something around that is increasing in volume is alien to him. I may borrow from him the idea of selectively enforcing laws or making them up on a du jour basis. I will immediately suspend the minimum wage laws for urban areas where the teenage rate of unemployment is double the national average. If a group of people is unemployable at $10 an hour why will they become more valuable to a prospective employer if their starting mandatory wage is $15 an hour? Further, I will sign an Executive Order in the limo back to the White House suspending the Davis-Bacon Act. It was/is the most anti-Black Federal legislation passed in the 20th century. It was the spawn of Southern Democrats in an unholy alliance with Northern Republicans. Its birth was mid-wifed by FDR.”
“Should voting be easier than picking up a package at the Post Office? Should voting be easier than getting some gin or cigarettes? Should voting be easier than giving blood? Should voting be easier than getting into a Federal building? Should voting be easier than getting married? Should voting be easier than cashing a check? Should voting be easier than getting admitted to a hospital? If you or any non-White group had invited me to lunch I would have insisted on you keeping your knives and forks, plastic or sterling, even though you had to show a photo ID to get in.”
“The Democratic Party, by its pandering to its special interest groups, is judged on its intentions. Never on results. Results don’t count. We have been officially fighting poverty for 48 years. The battlefield is littered with casualties. What it is not filled with are victories. If we use 1964 as a starting point every single measurable economic statistic is worse, particularly for people at this convention. This time we have a different set of rules. President Obama said in 2009 that if hadn’t done his job by 2012 he should be a one term President. I would like you to help me help him keep his word.”
As we enter the 3rd Summer of Recovery let me say, Thank You, and
God Bless America!
Kevin Smith
Leonard Pitts, Jr.
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 33132-1693
RE: “What Romney should say to the NAACP convention” – A comment or two on your column in today’s Miami Herald.
Mr. Pitts,
The Dream Team, the Dream Act, and now the Dream Speech, a speech that you would like to hear candidate Romney give to the NAACP.
3 things:
#1 – “Under the failed ‘War on Drugs’, young men from your communities have been incarcerated at rates that are a national scandal.”
May I ask, and by so doing still avoid the Scarlet R so quickly given to those who dissent from settled wisdom, if these young men are incarcerated because of the law or because they broke the law?
#2 – “In this very day we see members of my party seeking to gut the Voting Rights Act and are questioning the legality of the Civil Rights Act.”
It is a dirty little secret, a secret propelled down the memory hole of “eclectic indignation” at a speed equal to the Pioneer space probe that if it weren’t for Republican votes neither of those bills would have become law.
Senator Russell [D-GA], Senator Stennis [D- MS], and Senator Ervin [D-NC] had many things in common. Chief among them was the life long fight to keep Black kids from going to school with White kids.
Senator Russell has the Senate office building named after him. Senator Stennis has an aircraft carrier [CVN74] named after him. Senator Ervin, a man known for his collection of lawn jockeys, earned a perpetual indulgence from the modern American Liberals who dispense such things because of his successful pursuit of the hated Nixon.
Let me add the name of Senator J. William Fullbright [D-AR] to the list. He had an intern named William Jefferson Blyth Clinton from Hot Springs working in his state office. It is known if Handsome Billy began his up close and personal training to become the first Black President during his time with this racist Senator.
None of these men – Democrats all – ever saw a civil rights bill they could vote for. Never.
#3 – “In 1994, when Jeb Bush was running for Governor, someone asked him what he would do for black voters if elected. ‘Probably nothing,’ he said.”
What should he have said or done?
Should he have pardoned all Black prisoners convicted of drug crimes?
Should he have prevented the Navy from berthing the Stennis at any Florida port?
Should he have told any Senate candidates that unless they swore to forgo residence in the Russell building he would oppose them?
The political conundrum of the civil rights program is that, like the horizon, it is unreachable. Rights are not given by governments. They are ours, “from beyond the stars”. I add with the obligatory caveat that while the American Constitution is not perfect it is still the envy of the world. Its genius is its 2 part division. The first part spells out precisely what government can do. The second part spells out precisely what government cannot do.
Constitutions routinely call for equal protection under the law.
If Governor Bush “did” something for Black voters which group of non-Black voters would he have to do something to? Life, we are told, is a Zero Sum game. Modern American Liberals insist that the proper role of government is to cut the static pie “fairly”, with “fairly” never being defined save by the word “more”.
Candidate Obama told us that he wants to “spread the wealth around”.
It is devoutly to be wished that Governor Romney would include in his speech the following comments.
“It is agonizingly self-evident that President Obama has no idea, none whatsoever, of how to “create” wealth The idea that it becomes exponentially easier to spread something around that is increasing in volume is alien to him. I may borrow from him the idea of selectively enforcing laws or making them up on a du jour basis. I will immediately suspend the minimum wage laws for urban areas where the teenage rate of unemployment is double the national average. If a group of people is unemployable at $10 an hour why will they become more valuable to a prospective employer if their starting mandatory wage is $15 an hour? Further, I will sign an Executive Order in the limo back to the White House suspending the Davis-Bacon Act. It was/is the most anti-Black Federal legislation passed in the 20th century. It was the spawn of Southern Democrats in an unholy alliance with Northern Republicans. Its birth was mid-wifed by FDR.”
“Should voting be easier than picking up a package at the Post Office? Should voting be easier than getting some gin or cigarettes? Should voting be easier than giving blood? Should voting be easier than getting into a Federal building? Should voting be easier than getting married? Should voting be easier than cashing a check? Should voting be easier than getting admitted to a hospital? If you or any non-White group had invited me to lunch I would have insisted on you keeping your knives and forks, plastic or sterling, even though you had to show a photo ID to get in.”
“The Democratic Party, by its pandering to its special interest groups, is judged on its intentions. Never on results. Results don’t count. We have been officially fighting poverty for 48 years. The battlefield is littered with casualties. What it is not filled with are victories. If we use 1964 as a starting point every single measurable economic statistic is worse, particularly for people at this convention. This time we have a different set of rules. President Obama said in 2009 that if hadn’t done his job by 2012 he should be a one term President. I would like you to help me help him keep his word.”
As we enter the 3rd Summer of Recovery let me say, Thank You, and
God Bless America!
Kevin Smith
Monday, June 25, 2012
Chris Cillizza The Washington Post
June 25, 2012
Chris Cillizza
The Washington Post
1150 15th Street NW
Washington, DC 20071
RE: Congratulations on the Romney editing bit.
Mr. Cillizza,
After watching your TV performance with Andrea Mitchell, and if there is a less gracefully aging Hecate in journalism I am not aware of her, I must break a long standing rule.
Unlike Lord Barack the Benificent’s selectively subjective enforcement of laws I can pick and choose which laws to obey and which laws to ignore for a simple reason: I own them. I get to pick and choose who gets them and when.
Accordingly, I name you
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
POMPOUS FART OF THE MONTH
SMARMY BASTARD OF THE YEAR
It is, as Curly Biden, the best Vice President we have, said, “a big fucking deal”. And no, Washington Post alumna Janet Cook never won them.
Kevin Smith
Chris Cillizza
The Washington Post
1150 15th Street NW
Washington, DC 20071
RE: Congratulations on the Romney editing bit.
Mr. Cillizza,
After watching your TV performance with Andrea Mitchell, and if there is a less gracefully aging Hecate in journalism I am not aware of her, I must break a long standing rule.
Unlike Lord Barack the Benificent’s selectively subjective enforcement of laws I can pick and choose which laws to obey and which laws to ignore for a simple reason: I own them. I get to pick and choose who gets them and when.
Accordingly, I name you
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
POMPOUS FART OF THE MONTH
SMARMY BASTARD OF THE YEAR
It is, as Curly Biden, the best Vice President we have, said, “a big fucking deal”. And no, Washington Post alumna Janet Cook never won them.
Kevin Smith
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Maureen Dowd The New York Times
June 24, 2012
Maureen Dowd
The New York Times
620 Eighth Avenue
New York, New York 10018
RE: Cindy Sheehan & the other guy’s mother
Ms. Dowd,
Today’s tutorial on “eclectic indignation” highlights the ability of modern American Liberals, particularly the fire breathing, card carrying kind, to overcome their perpetually pretzeled backs. It is caused by the cognitive dissonance that is required by that church of its votaries.
Cindy Sheehan, remember?
Her son was killed in Iraq. At some point in her grieving process she decided that he was killed by President Bush. She was a most persistent critic of him, trying in numerous ways to confront and harass him. The press, both wet and dry, enthusiastically supported and encouraged her. You yourself said that she “has the absolute moral right” to –A- criticize the President and –B- be exempt from any criticism. Further, you said that she must be praised for using the loss of her son to bring about hope and change.
[10 feet from where I write is a framed scroll signed by President Harry Truman. It says that “Corporal Leonard Putnam died in the service of his country on May 25, 1945 in the Pacific area”]
Here comes the other shoe.
If Cindy Sheehan “has the absolute moral right” to try to stick her thumb in President Bush’s eye, and by so doing to ensure that no other mother would have to endure her grief, would not Logic dictate that Brian Terry’s mother has the same right?
Brian Terry was a United States Border Agent. He wore a badge, he carried a gun, and he had the full majesty “of the Republic for which it stands” with him the night he was killed. In death he shares a common bond with Cindy Sheehan’s son in that they both died in the service of their country.
We mourn both their deaths. We grant grieving mothers much latitude in how they express their grief. The fundamental balance of the universe is disturbed when a parent buries a child. All we can do is extend our hand.
By the way, the “other guy’s mom is Josephine Terry.
Some very bright people in Washington, and isn’t that always how stories like this start, decided that the best way to stop guns from crossing the US/Mexican border was to, honest to God, send guns across said border to see how long it took for them to get back across the same border over which they had just been sent.
That sounds like a plan to me.
The United States government called it “Fast and Furious”.
The Attorney General testified, testified, that he never heard of it until May, 2011. Information is then released that he stopped it 6 months before he heard of it. What did he know and when did he know it has a familiar ring to it, no? When that catchy phrase had run its course the claim of Executive Privilege had the tensile strength of Bubbe’s halvah. Quien sabe, as they say on both sides of the border. We may yet see somebody “frog marched” out of the White House.
I rather think that Josephine Terry would like to visit her son’s grave – Maybe Cindy Sheehan could go with her – and tell him what happened. It may not help him but it may help them.
Can we expect a column from you saying that Josephine Terry and Cindy Sheehan are “sisters under the skin”? Can we expect a column from you saying that Josephine Terry has the same “absolute moral right” as does Cindy Sheehan?
If not, why not?
Kevin Smith
Maureen Dowd
The New York Times
620 Eighth Avenue
New York, New York 10018
RE: Cindy Sheehan & the other guy’s mother
Ms. Dowd,
Today’s tutorial on “eclectic indignation” highlights the ability of modern American Liberals, particularly the fire breathing, card carrying kind, to overcome their perpetually pretzeled backs. It is caused by the cognitive dissonance that is required by that church of its votaries.
Cindy Sheehan, remember?
Her son was killed in Iraq. At some point in her grieving process she decided that he was killed by President Bush. She was a most persistent critic of him, trying in numerous ways to confront and harass him. The press, both wet and dry, enthusiastically supported and encouraged her. You yourself said that she “has the absolute moral right” to –A- criticize the President and –B- be exempt from any criticism. Further, you said that she must be praised for using the loss of her son to bring about hope and change.
[10 feet from where I write is a framed scroll signed by President Harry Truman. It says that “Corporal Leonard Putnam died in the service of his country on May 25, 1945 in the Pacific area”]
Here comes the other shoe.
If Cindy Sheehan “has the absolute moral right” to try to stick her thumb in President Bush’s eye, and by so doing to ensure that no other mother would have to endure her grief, would not Logic dictate that Brian Terry’s mother has the same right?
Brian Terry was a United States Border Agent. He wore a badge, he carried a gun, and he had the full majesty “of the Republic for which it stands” with him the night he was killed. In death he shares a common bond with Cindy Sheehan’s son in that they both died in the service of their country.
We mourn both their deaths. We grant grieving mothers much latitude in how they express their grief. The fundamental balance of the universe is disturbed when a parent buries a child. All we can do is extend our hand.
By the way, the “other guy’s mom is Josephine Terry.
Some very bright people in Washington, and isn’t that always how stories like this start, decided that the best way to stop guns from crossing the US/Mexican border was to, honest to God, send guns across said border to see how long it took for them to get back across the same border over which they had just been sent.
That sounds like a plan to me.
The United States government called it “Fast and Furious”.
The Attorney General testified, testified, that he never heard of it until May, 2011. Information is then released that he stopped it 6 months before he heard of it. What did he know and when did he know it has a familiar ring to it, no? When that catchy phrase had run its course the claim of Executive Privilege had the tensile strength of Bubbe’s halvah. Quien sabe, as they say on both sides of the border. We may yet see somebody “frog marched” out of the White House.
I rather think that Josephine Terry would like to visit her son’s grave – Maybe Cindy Sheehan could go with her – and tell him what happened. It may not help him but it may help them.
Can we expect a column from you saying that Josephine Terry and Cindy Sheehan are “sisters under the skin”? Can we expect a column from you saying that Josephine Terry has the same “absolute moral right” as does Cindy Sheehan?
If not, why not?
Kevin Smith
Kirsten Powers USA-Today
June 23, 2012
Kirsten Powers
USA-Today
RE: So what’s wrong with “witch hunts”? – Some comments on your appearance on Bill O’Reilly’s Friday night show.
Ms. Powers,
Any ink stained wench who survived a few rounds with Anthony Weiner is OK in my book. [I can’t think of anyone who needed a beating more than he did last year but that’s a different story.] Your comments on the coming Congressional contempt citation of Fast & Furious bandleader Eric Holder led to a flashback to another upside down time.
Do you remember a book with the name “October Surprise”?
The author, Gary Sick, parlayed a parlous premise into 15, maybe 20, minutes of fame. He posited the preposterous plot that in October, 1980 Vice Presidential candidate George H.W. Bush told the Secret Service that he was going to take an afternoon off from campaigning to play tennis.
Here’s where it gets really good.
Instead of foot faults and top spin forehands he got into a Blackbird – SR71 – and flew at Mach 4 to Paris. When he got there he went to a 2 Star bistro on the Rive Gauche where he met a WOG intermediary of Ayatollah Khomeini. Over lunch, and I hope that at least one bottle of Chateau Talbot 1970 was drunk, they struck a deal that threw the 1980 election to Reagan. He then got on the plane and flew back to Andrews Air Forde Base. There are no notes of the lunch because if you think about it, it was secret. Don’t ask. There are no records of the flight.
It is probably a coincidence [Coincidence? “Yes”, said Jeeves to Bertie. “It’s like when you find a trout in the milk.”] but when the book came out in 1991 the engine of modern American Liberal retribution roared into overdrive, there being a Presidential election just over the horizon.
Speaker of the House Thomas Foley [D-WA] began a House investigation into the possibility of any “October Surprise”. His reasoning was breathtakingly clear and lucid. “Precisely because there are no facts we must have an investigation.” Honest Injun. He said that. [I say “Injun” knowing that I risk a late night raid by the dreaded Word Police because his finest public moment involved him doing “Injun” things. Democrats had not had White House Christmas Tree lighting since 1980. They jerry rigged a House lighting of a Holiday Tree. The name was non-denominational in deference to Druids and Bahai degendered obese teens. It also was to raise our AIDS awareness. The Speaker of the House, a position 3rd in line for the Presidency, took part by beating a 10 foot wide Tom-Tom to open the festivities. I hope much fire water was involved. I hate to think he would make such a horse’s ass of himself without having half a load on.] If you think I think Foley was a putz you would be correct.
As an aside, Hillary Clinton said that her husband’s alleged peccadilloes were a figment of the imagination of the “vast Right-Wing conspiracy”. Further, fame and fortune awaited the diligent reporter who uncovered this. I think Tom “The Gom” Foley” had some outside help with his Tom-Tom performance. I think Elizabeth Warren helped him perfect his rat-atat-atat timbrel solo. Fame and fortune await the diligent reporter who gets to the bottom of this. I hear that candidate Warren will kill the first blonde haired, blue eyed White man she finds on June 25th, it being the anniversary of Custer getting his well-deserved chop. Then she will scalp him and tear his out and eat it to the tune “I Am Injun Hear Me Roar”.
All of which brings me back to your appearance on TV last night.
You say the House shouldn’t investigate Toad Holder because there is no evidence. I say that House, an institution whose functions are predicated on precedent, has more than sufficient reason to investigate him. Besides, the eternal rule of tu quoque applies. It all depends on whose Gore is being oxed.
You say that the Republicans – reptiles all – are on a “witch hunt” as if it were a bad thing. What’s wrong with “witch hunts”? They work, don’t they?
They had one in Salem, Massachusetts in 1692. In less than a year the witch problem was solved. In fact, there have been no reports of witches there in 320 years. We can stipulate that that Witch Hunt worked, can’t we?
Last, dump the guy you were with last night. His persona would spoil milk. Plus, I’ve seen better looking bodies in the morgue.
Kevin Smith
Kirsten Powers
USA-Today
RE: So what’s wrong with “witch hunts”? – Some comments on your appearance on Bill O’Reilly’s Friday night show.
Ms. Powers,
Any ink stained wench who survived a few rounds with Anthony Weiner is OK in my book. [I can’t think of anyone who needed a beating more than he did last year but that’s a different story.] Your comments on the coming Congressional contempt citation of Fast & Furious bandleader Eric Holder led to a flashback to another upside down time.
Do you remember a book with the name “October Surprise”?
The author, Gary Sick, parlayed a parlous premise into 15, maybe 20, minutes of fame. He posited the preposterous plot that in October, 1980 Vice Presidential candidate George H.W. Bush told the Secret Service that he was going to take an afternoon off from campaigning to play tennis.
Here’s where it gets really good.
Instead of foot faults and top spin forehands he got into a Blackbird – SR71 – and flew at Mach 4 to Paris. When he got there he went to a 2 Star bistro on the Rive Gauche where he met a WOG intermediary of Ayatollah Khomeini. Over lunch, and I hope that at least one bottle of Chateau Talbot 1970 was drunk, they struck a deal that threw the 1980 election to Reagan. He then got on the plane and flew back to Andrews Air Forde Base. There are no notes of the lunch because if you think about it, it was secret. Don’t ask. There are no records of the flight.
It is probably a coincidence [Coincidence? “Yes”, said Jeeves to Bertie. “It’s like when you find a trout in the milk.”] but when the book came out in 1991 the engine of modern American Liberal retribution roared into overdrive, there being a Presidential election just over the horizon.
Speaker of the House Thomas Foley [D-WA] began a House investigation into the possibility of any “October Surprise”. His reasoning was breathtakingly clear and lucid. “Precisely because there are no facts we must have an investigation.” Honest Injun. He said that. [I say “Injun” knowing that I risk a late night raid by the dreaded Word Police because his finest public moment involved him doing “Injun” things. Democrats had not had White House Christmas Tree lighting since 1980. They jerry rigged a House lighting of a Holiday Tree. The name was non-denominational in deference to Druids and Bahai degendered obese teens. It also was to raise our AIDS awareness. The Speaker of the House, a position 3rd in line for the Presidency, took part by beating a 10 foot wide Tom-Tom to open the festivities. I hope much fire water was involved. I hate to think he would make such a horse’s ass of himself without having half a load on.] If you think I think Foley was a putz you would be correct.
As an aside, Hillary Clinton said that her husband’s alleged peccadilloes were a figment of the imagination of the “vast Right-Wing conspiracy”. Further, fame and fortune awaited the diligent reporter who uncovered this. I think Tom “The Gom” Foley” had some outside help with his Tom-Tom performance. I think Elizabeth Warren helped him perfect his rat-atat-atat timbrel solo. Fame and fortune await the diligent reporter who gets to the bottom of this. I hear that candidate Warren will kill the first blonde haired, blue eyed White man she finds on June 25th, it being the anniversary of Custer getting his well-deserved chop. Then she will scalp him and tear his out and eat it to the tune “I Am Injun Hear Me Roar”.
All of which brings me back to your appearance on TV last night.
You say the House shouldn’t investigate Toad Holder because there is no evidence. I say that House, an institution whose functions are predicated on precedent, has more than sufficient reason to investigate him. Besides, the eternal rule of tu quoque applies. It all depends on whose Gore is being oxed.
You say that the Republicans – reptiles all – are on a “witch hunt” as if it were a bad thing. What’s wrong with “witch hunts”? They work, don’t they?
They had one in Salem, Massachusetts in 1692. In less than a year the witch problem was solved. In fact, there have been no reports of witches there in 320 years. We can stipulate that that Witch Hunt worked, can’t we?
Last, dump the guy you were with last night. His persona would spoil milk. Plus, I’ve seen better looking bodies in the morgue.
Kevin Smith
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)