Letter to a Presidential Candidate

January 11, 2008

Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton

726 Exchange Streeet

Buffalo, New York 14210

RE: No better time to ramp up your Niobe impersonation! Rich Little and Frank Caliendo ain’t got nothing on you.

Senator Clinton,

I read, with sadness, of the death of Sir Edmund Hillary, the first man – OOPS! – the first human to climb Mount Everest.

Even though you were born several years before he climbed the mountain I believed it when you said you were named after him. I believed it when you startled the world with the revelation of a “vast Right-Wing conspiracy”. That one was easy; I was one of the co-founders.

You have my permission to cry about this.

I suggest that you don’t cry in Florida because the carbon footprint fanatics, led by the evil Cheney, were able to convince the Democratic Party to disenfranchise all Democratic voters here. I’ll never know how they did that. Do you?

How are your brothers doing? What a pair of fun loving scamps! It must have been a ball growing up with them. I bet your Mom is so proud of them.

Say hello to Big Billy for me.