Posts
April 18, 2012
Congresswoman Frederica Wilson
10100 Pines Boulevard – B Building
Pembroke Pines, FL 33025
RE: “Kids Say the Darndest Things” – So do members of Congress
Madame Congresswoman,
Your Congressional website quotes you thus:
“I have buried so many young black boys – It is extremely traumatizing to me.
Black boys and men are valuable to society.
They should not be shot dead for no reason.”
Even though your CV alleges that you were a teacher I shant comment on either the grammar or the composition of the above. You have a long ride between Miami and Washington. Perhaps some time with Strunck & White or Jacques Barzun might help. It would seem that a retroactive “F” might be in order.
It has been 19 years since my last gun fight. One police officer was dead before he hit the ground. Another was shot in his sternum. I helped him live. He later danced at my daughter’s wedding. I know what guns can do.
My question is simple.
When you attend these “traumatizing” funerals is there a different protocol for a “young black boy” being shot by a “young black boy” then there is for a “young black boy” being shot by a “young white boy”? Does “Amazing Grace” have different choruses depending on the race of the alleged perpetrator? Perhaps you could tell me the percentage of “young black boys” being shot by other “young black boys” versus being shot by “young white boys”?
If we are going to have “conversations” about race would it be intemperate of me to ask when the subject of the disintegration of the Black family will begin? Is there any chance that the heavy hand of the government, any government, will be included?
By the way, I really do like your hats.
Kevin Smith
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Pin The Tale On The Map
April 17, 2012
I officially disclose that Lord Barack the Beneficent is not – repeat – not the smartest guy ever to be President. Despite degrees from two different Ivy League schools I hereby declare him to be – A – not as smart as he thinks he is and - B – nowhere near as smart as the ass kissing toads in the main stream media believe and want him to be. Further, a strong case can be made for – C – him being as dumb as a box of starch.
He told us that Austrian was the official language of Austria.
Talk about “shovel ready: jobs in the endless “Summer of Recovery”!
All over the world landfills got their monthly quota in one wild, wet weekend of atlases and geography texts being exterminated with extreme prejudice.
New editions were rushed to press telling us that Belizean was the language of Belize. Albertan became the language of Alberta and Lichtensteinian became the language of Lichtenstein. New Ginny became the language of New Guinea while Old Ginny became the language of Guinea. Guinness was denied its appeal to make Guinnessian an official language.
Only 2 places resisted the call for change. Taking its cue from the Vatican’s refusal to make Vaticanian the new Latin Bayonne refused to print Bayonnian on its liquor licenses.
Graustarkia and Ruritania are ticked off because no one thought of them. It’s been all downhill since the last production of The Student Prince.
His next stab at geography came when he told us that that were “57 or 58 states”. Honest. He said that. Imagine if President Bush or Governor Palin had said that. The journalistic toads, servy boys all to the church of Modern American Liberalism, would have set Guinness records for going past arousal, foreplay, tumescence, and straight to severely randy knickers in their mad dash to scream DUMMY. God’s Holy Trousers but the New York Times would have declared a new holiday proclaiming “REPUBLICANS ARE STUPID”
Here’s a hint.
The number of stars on the flag equals the number of states. Always has. “Star spangled banner”. Remember? It went from 48 to 50 in 1959. You can look it up. You would think that somebody with his finger on the nuclear trigger would know that, wouldn’t you? If you did you would be wrong.
We have had an adult say that when Bahama Obama speaks he “gets a tingle running up his leg”. Another was awed because he was “watching over us like a God”. A 3rd scribe said he should be President because of the “perfect crease in his pant”. A Historian had but Yosama Bahama’s shadow fall upon him for him to proclaim that “he was the smartest President ever”. Had he but touched the hem of his garment the arguments concerning infallibility would have been over.
The rule to follow here is that people who believe in nothing will eventually believe in anything and anybody who says “Only gravity is holding us back”. He did say that “we are the ones we have been waiting for”. Thus was the meaning of solipsism expanded exponentially.
When he said he “would make the oceans recede and the planet cool” no one among us said “Huh”? No one said that he had no clothes on. No one said “Canute who”. Smart people had tears in their eyes. Really smart people said, “Fly Icarus, fly. This time we’ll all make it.”
Now this nit-wit speaks of the Falkland Islands, not as Las Malvinas, but as the Maldives. He’s only off by some 6,000 miles but who’s counting.
[As an aside, the 1960 Presidential Campaign gave us many things. The “Missile Gap”, TV debates, media bias, Daley of Chicago counting the votes over and over until he got the number he wanted inter alia. It also gave us some geography lessons. Quemoy and Matsu became the objects of many pop quizzes. If they were any closer to China they could get mainland take away. You wouldn’t need a bridge or a tunnel to get back and forth. All you would need is low tide. Their position makes the Falklands seem like they are within sight of Portsmouth. Senator Kennedy ended the discussion by saying “Any place is defensible if free men wish to defend it”.]
If it comes down to choosing between England and Argentina America would be well advised to remember several things:
#1 – Runnymede
#2 – Shakespeare
#3 – 1688
#4 – Samuel Johnson and Edmund Burke
#5 – Pax Britannica
#6 – Kipling and T.S. Eliot
#7 – Churchill
#8 – The presumption of innocence
#9 – Whisky
And perhaps as important as any of the above
#10 – 3 great Queens
On the other hand…
In the case of Argentina, despite living in a land blessed by God, a land not made habitable and arable by a fickle Gulf Stream, it has managed to make one permanent contribution to the Western Canon in almost 2 centuries of existence: The Tango. Think me not a cad if I point out that they stole that from the Eye-Ties. [Evita, one of the 20th century’s greatest Horizontal Tango performers, failed to make the cut, not because of lack of performance, but because of lack of longevity.]
This ohmadahn shouldn’t be allowed to handle sharp objects or operate heavy equipment.
I always believed that God both loved and blessed America.
He is going to have to prove it in spades between now and November.
“FREE MEN SPEAK WITH FREE TONGUES”
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
PS – The Alien and Sedition Act was repealed, wasn’t it?
I officially disclose that Lord Barack the Beneficent is not – repeat – not the smartest guy ever to be President. Despite degrees from two different Ivy League schools I hereby declare him to be – A – not as smart as he thinks he is and - B – nowhere near as smart as the ass kissing toads in the main stream media believe and want him to be. Further, a strong case can be made for – C – him being as dumb as a box of starch.
He told us that Austrian was the official language of Austria.
Talk about “shovel ready: jobs in the endless “Summer of Recovery”!
All over the world landfills got their monthly quota in one wild, wet weekend of atlases and geography texts being exterminated with extreme prejudice.
New editions were rushed to press telling us that Belizean was the language of Belize. Albertan became the language of Alberta and Lichtensteinian became the language of Lichtenstein. New Ginny became the language of New Guinea while Old Ginny became the language of Guinea. Guinness was denied its appeal to make Guinnessian an official language.
Only 2 places resisted the call for change. Taking its cue from the Vatican’s refusal to make Vaticanian the new Latin Bayonne refused to print Bayonnian on its liquor licenses.
Graustarkia and Ruritania are ticked off because no one thought of them. It’s been all downhill since the last production of The Student Prince.
His next stab at geography came when he told us that that were “57 or 58 states”. Honest. He said that. Imagine if President Bush or Governor Palin had said that. The journalistic toads, servy boys all to the church of Modern American Liberalism, would have set Guinness records for going past arousal, foreplay, tumescence, and straight to severely randy knickers in their mad dash to scream DUMMY. God’s Holy Trousers but the New York Times would have declared a new holiday proclaiming “REPUBLICANS ARE STUPID”
Here’s a hint.
The number of stars on the flag equals the number of states. Always has. “Star spangled banner”. Remember? It went from 48 to 50 in 1959. You can look it up. You would think that somebody with his finger on the nuclear trigger would know that, wouldn’t you? If you did you would be wrong.
We have had an adult say that when Bahama Obama speaks he “gets a tingle running up his leg”. Another was awed because he was “watching over us like a God”. A 3rd scribe said he should be President because of the “perfect crease in his pant”. A Historian had but Yosama Bahama’s shadow fall upon him for him to proclaim that “he was the smartest President ever”. Had he but touched the hem of his garment the arguments concerning infallibility would have been over.
The rule to follow here is that people who believe in nothing will eventually believe in anything and anybody who says “Only gravity is holding us back”. He did say that “we are the ones we have been waiting for”. Thus was the meaning of solipsism expanded exponentially.
When he said he “would make the oceans recede and the planet cool” no one among us said “Huh”? No one said that he had no clothes on. No one said “Canute who”. Smart people had tears in their eyes. Really smart people said, “Fly Icarus, fly. This time we’ll all make it.”
Now this nit-wit speaks of the Falkland Islands, not as Las Malvinas, but as the Maldives. He’s only off by some 6,000 miles but who’s counting.
[As an aside, the 1960 Presidential Campaign gave us many things. The “Missile Gap”, TV debates, media bias, Daley of Chicago counting the votes over and over until he got the number he wanted inter alia. It also gave us some geography lessons. Quemoy and Matsu became the objects of many pop quizzes. If they were any closer to China they could get mainland take away. You wouldn’t need a bridge or a tunnel to get back and forth. All you would need is low tide. Their position makes the Falklands seem like they are within sight of Portsmouth. Senator Kennedy ended the discussion by saying “Any place is defensible if free men wish to defend it”.]
If it comes down to choosing between England and Argentina America would be well advised to remember several things:
#1 – Runnymede
#2 – Shakespeare
#3 – 1688
#4 – Samuel Johnson and Edmund Burke
#5 – Pax Britannica
#6 – Kipling and T.S. Eliot
#7 – Churchill
#8 – The presumption of innocence
#9 – Whisky
And perhaps as important as any of the above
#10 – 3 great Queens
On the other hand…
In the case of Argentina, despite living in a land blessed by God, a land not made habitable and arable by a fickle Gulf Stream, it has managed to make one permanent contribution to the Western Canon in almost 2 centuries of existence: The Tango. Think me not a cad if I point out that they stole that from the Eye-Ties. [Evita, one of the 20th century’s greatest Horizontal Tango performers, failed to make the cut, not because of lack of performance, but because of lack of longevity.]
This ohmadahn shouldn’t be allowed to handle sharp objects or operate heavy equipment.
I always believed that God both loved and blessed America.
He is going to have to prove it in spades between now and November.
“FREE MEN SPEAK WITH FREE TONGUES”
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
PS – The Alien and Sedition Act was repealed, wasn’t it?
Monday, April 16, 2012
Ruth Marcus The Washington Post Writers’ Group
April 16, 2012
Ruth Marcus
The Washington Post Writers’ Group
1150 15th Street NW
Washington, DC 20071
RE: What the Hell is that smell? – Some comments on your friend of the working girl column in today’s Miami Herald.
Ms. Marcus,
Only a die hard, card carrying modern American Liberal ink stained wench can say without wetting her drawers – I think – that what Hilary Rosen said about Ann Romney was wrong while it was also right. Shades of Dan Rather!
Some dead Greek said that “something cannot be what it is not” but what did he know anyway.
Let’s take a peek at some distaff modern American Liberal favorites.
#1 – What did Eleanor Roosevelt Roosevelt do to shine up her husband’s image with the working class? Other than setting the standard for turning a blind eye to a philandering husband that stood until Hillary Clinton got to the White House what exactly did she do? No wonder she and Hillary channeled post mortem.
#2 – Did Lady Bird Johnson bring her famous possum, armadillo road kill stew to Duval County where her husband with the legal help of Abe Fortas stole the Senate election of 1948?
#3 – Did Jackie Kennedy tell coal miners’ wives in Herndon, West Virginia of the difficulties in getting fresh endives and chard to braise? Did she tell them about the problems in having to choose between black truffles and its white Italian cousin? The ladies in Logan surely were impressed with the age old conflict between Burgundy and Bordeaux, right? Her lectures on Queen Ann furniture surely turned the tide for her husband. This was back when Kleagle Byrd was still burning crosses and harassing nigrahs, wasn’t he?
#4 – What particular working class life experiences did my favorite mad cap Gypsy lady, Tereza Heinz Kerry, bring to the campaign in 2004? Her complaints about Pratesi not making summer frocks were well known. Did she share them with voters in Ohio? I too wanted Asprey to open a store in this country but that couldn’t be in the Democratic Party platform. I know that you and your husband Jay Forbes Kerry had the first Burberry toilet paper in this country. I am sure the people in the panhandles of Florida and Oklahoma would have responded well to that if presented sensitively. Her speech at the Democratic convention lacked only her saying “Don’t Cry for me Mozambique”. She should have been allowed to bring her stuffed cheetah out. It wasn’t stuffed when she first played with it.
Put them all in a bag and you still wouldn’t get half of Ma Joad. Can you imagine any of them saying, “We are the people”? Not even Mel Brooks could stage that.
Although you get a super-sized IV of “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome” booster you carry a back pack sized inhaler lest you stumble onto the truth this time the ordure is curling my nose hair and “my short and curlies”.
You and your ilk are beyond hypocrisy. A monumental hubris born of confusing feelings with ideas, of making expectations rather results the goal, of “trying to make a society so perfect that no one will ever have to be good”, enables you to sneer with contempt at anyone who doesn’t goose step to your imbecilic dogma.
Dante is busy building a new circle for you.
Kevin Smith
Ruth Marcus
The Washington Post Writers’ Group
1150 15th Street NW
Washington, DC 20071
RE: What the Hell is that smell? – Some comments on your friend of the working girl column in today’s Miami Herald.
Ms. Marcus,
Only a die hard, card carrying modern American Liberal ink stained wench can say without wetting her drawers – I think – that what Hilary Rosen said about Ann Romney was wrong while it was also right. Shades of Dan Rather!
Some dead Greek said that “something cannot be what it is not” but what did he know anyway.
Let’s take a peek at some distaff modern American Liberal favorites.
#1 – What did Eleanor Roosevelt Roosevelt do to shine up her husband’s image with the working class? Other than setting the standard for turning a blind eye to a philandering husband that stood until Hillary Clinton got to the White House what exactly did she do? No wonder she and Hillary channeled post mortem.
#2 – Did Lady Bird Johnson bring her famous possum, armadillo road kill stew to Duval County where her husband with the legal help of Abe Fortas stole the Senate election of 1948?
#3 – Did Jackie Kennedy tell coal miners’ wives in Herndon, West Virginia of the difficulties in getting fresh endives and chard to braise? Did she tell them about the problems in having to choose between black truffles and its white Italian cousin? The ladies in Logan surely were impressed with the age old conflict between Burgundy and Bordeaux, right? Her lectures on Queen Ann furniture surely turned the tide for her husband. This was back when Kleagle Byrd was still burning crosses and harassing nigrahs, wasn’t he?
#4 – What particular working class life experiences did my favorite mad cap Gypsy lady, Tereza Heinz Kerry, bring to the campaign in 2004? Her complaints about Pratesi not making summer frocks were well known. Did she share them with voters in Ohio? I too wanted Asprey to open a store in this country but that couldn’t be in the Democratic Party platform. I know that you and your husband Jay Forbes Kerry had the first Burberry toilet paper in this country. I am sure the people in the panhandles of Florida and Oklahoma would have responded well to that if presented sensitively. Her speech at the Democratic convention lacked only her saying “Don’t Cry for me Mozambique”. She should have been allowed to bring her stuffed cheetah out. It wasn’t stuffed when she first played with it.
Put them all in a bag and you still wouldn’t get half of Ma Joad. Can you imagine any of them saying, “We are the people”? Not even Mel Brooks could stage that.
Although you get a super-sized IV of “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome” booster you carry a back pack sized inhaler lest you stumble onto the truth this time the ordure is curling my nose hair and “my short and curlies”.
You and your ilk are beyond hypocrisy. A monumental hubris born of confusing feelings with ideas, of making expectations rather results the goal, of “trying to make a society so perfect that no one will ever have to be good”, enables you to sneer with contempt at anyone who doesn’t goose step to your imbecilic dogma.
Dante is busy building a new circle for you.
Kevin Smith
I am glad that Bill Maher said “Ann Romney has never gotten her ass out of the house to work”.
April 16, 2012
I am glad that Bill Maher said “Ann Romney has never gotten her ass out of the house to work”.
Since Maher, a lickspittle toad shilling for the Church of Modern American Liberalism, has brought up the subject of asses that makes all asses fair game.
Before I focus on the ass in the White House – hers, not him – I wish to praise some favorite asses from the past.
Alfred Hitchcock, Oliver Hardy, Jane Darwell, Aunt Jemima, and Orson Welles had at least one thing in common. They all had world class backsides. But they did things. They left footprints. We remember their asses fondly.
Bella Abzug had a classic ass.
It began at the L3 portion of her spine. It eventually covered both of her quadriceps. Richter took notice when she trotted. She stood up in layers. Her foundation garments were made of titanium. Her frequent bouts of diarrhea triggered a Haz-Mat response. Her proctologist wore a wet suit. She put her toilet tissue purchase out for bid. She had the first rebar hip replacement. Putting her ass in a sling required the services of a large animal vet. Say what you will about her liberal fascist policies she had a truly memorable Ass.
Barbara Boxer, less so.
The thing that she did to make it memorable was the way she scratched it. She didn’t just take a stab at it. She didn’t just wave at it. She had wee Black & Decker drills implanted into her fingers. Her knickers were made from thread taken from selectively aborted worms – Thanks, Dr. Mengele! – and Kevlar [happy pastel colors]
Modern American Liberals have a habit of having one photo define their public lives.
Senator Lard Kennedy wearing a neck brace after he drowned my neighbor’s classmate; Former Ku Klux Klan Kleagle Robert Byrd, a man who doubled as the Democratic majority leader in the Senate, twice using the dreaded “N” word on national TV and suffering no consequences from it; Jimmy Carter versus the killer rabbit; Michael Dukakis in a tank; Senator Jay Forbes Kerry in a rabbit suit; and Congresswoman Boxer walking up the stairs of the Senate scratching her ass as if her life depended on it.
She was going over to protest the nomination of Judge Clarence Thomas to the Supreme Court. She scratched her ass in a manner that made grown men weep. “What did it do to deserve that?” was the cry of photographers. She had a ribbed, multi speed ass scratcher. She had an intern on each cheek smoothing out her skirt lest it ride up to her neck.
Hopefully, I have established that I am not anti-Ass. I Iike a nice ass as much as the next guy. I was glad to see that Jennifer Lopez, for years the unquestioned owner of the most perfect ass in Christendom, now has some serious competition with the sudden appearance of Pippa Middleton. She has an ass worthy of being wrapped in purple and “setting an ashtray on it”.
I’m available for lunch if she ever gets over here. I have friends in Henley-in-Arden who can vouch for me.
It’s time now to focus on the ass du jour. It, all of it, belongs to Michelle Obama. Say this for her: She got her ass out of the house to work.
Despite degrees from 2 Ivy League schools she apparently was not overburdened by ambition. While feeling decidedly “unproud” of her country for not forgiving her school debts she managed to hook up, after a nationwide search, as the head of the Affirmative Action Bed Pan Study Group at the University of Chicago Hospital. The first thing her husband did for her when he was elected to the United States Senate was to get her a raise. One of the things she can share with – to cite Hilary Rosen – the waitress in the middle of Nevada is to have your husband get elected to the United States Senate. Once he is in DC he too can get you a raise. In Michele’s case it was $4,000 – repeat - $4,000 a week. That’s more than $200,000 a year. The math was simple. He sent her employer $1,000,000 – repeat - $1,000,000 to report on the medical consequences of shouting “DA BULLS” and “DA BEARS” at the next public meeting of Minister Louie Farrakhan.
The money got there just in time.
If you think supporting a crack habit is tough just try to score 5 dozen Amazon leeches form South of Carmenmirandaville every day.
She had long given up on small chain saws as abraders and ass jumping Sumo wrestlers as pounders to keep “it” under control, “it” being her ass.
Leeches were the best.
Not just any leeches.
Female leeches in estrus.
Male leeches with a blue veiner that a cat couldn’t scratch.
Lady Leech would fasten on to one of her Rubenesque fanny packs for some chow. Lord Leech would jump on her and penetrate them both. His goal was two-fold. Some chow and some trim. A win/win/win all around!
Lady Leech was purring. Lord Leech was reaching for his smokes. Michele kept her ass in check until noon.
Sometimes Lady Leech had the cramps. Sometimes Lord Leech had a flaccid stinger. That’s why you can never be too rich, too thin, or have too many leeches.
Once her husband becomes unemployed she is going to set sale and size records in the Wal-Mart Spanx/Spandex aisles.
She is going to get an ass that coyotes could nest in.
Thank God she flies in a wide body jet. Put her ass in an F-16 and it would be non-stop to the end to the end of the runway.
I understand that the Secret Service calls her Moon Pie when she is walking towards them and Jemima when she waddles past them.
I was sitting in a kitchen in a house on 30th Street in the Holy city of Bayonne some 20 years ago. I was with the father of the quarterback we were going to see play that night. In the dining room was the quarterback’s mother dancing with his youngest sister. The song was “Achy Breaky Heart” by Miley’s dad. In the kitchen the quarterback’s father, his sister’s father, and the dancing Momma’s husband, a man known for his wit, his repartee, and his Noel Cowardesque salon palaver said, “She’s got a pretty nice ass for a 45 year old broad with 3 kids”. That she did.
Ann Romney has 5 kids and about 15 years on the Bayonne paradigm. Her ass looks OK to me.
If Michele gets a PET- Scan it will take 12 gallons of industrial strength KY jelly to get her into the tunnel. It will take a block and tackle and 6 mules to get her out.
I am glad to see that the “ass” debate is taking on Lincoln/Douglas stature. Next stop Burke/Fox.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
I am glad that Bill Maher said “Ann Romney has never gotten her ass out of the house to work”.
Since Maher, a lickspittle toad shilling for the Church of Modern American Liberalism, has brought up the subject of asses that makes all asses fair game.
Before I focus on the ass in the White House – hers, not him – I wish to praise some favorite asses from the past.
Alfred Hitchcock, Oliver Hardy, Jane Darwell, Aunt Jemima, and Orson Welles had at least one thing in common. They all had world class backsides. But they did things. They left footprints. We remember their asses fondly.
Bella Abzug had a classic ass.
It began at the L3 portion of her spine. It eventually covered both of her quadriceps. Richter took notice when she trotted. She stood up in layers. Her foundation garments were made of titanium. Her frequent bouts of diarrhea triggered a Haz-Mat response. Her proctologist wore a wet suit. She put her toilet tissue purchase out for bid. She had the first rebar hip replacement. Putting her ass in a sling required the services of a large animal vet. Say what you will about her liberal fascist policies she had a truly memorable Ass.
Barbara Boxer, less so.
The thing that she did to make it memorable was the way she scratched it. She didn’t just take a stab at it. She didn’t just wave at it. She had wee Black & Decker drills implanted into her fingers. Her knickers were made from thread taken from selectively aborted worms – Thanks, Dr. Mengele! – and Kevlar [happy pastel colors]
Modern American Liberals have a habit of having one photo define their public lives.
Senator Lard Kennedy wearing a neck brace after he drowned my neighbor’s classmate; Former Ku Klux Klan Kleagle Robert Byrd, a man who doubled as the Democratic majority leader in the Senate, twice using the dreaded “N” word on national TV and suffering no consequences from it; Jimmy Carter versus the killer rabbit; Michael Dukakis in a tank; Senator Jay Forbes Kerry in a rabbit suit; and Congresswoman Boxer walking up the stairs of the Senate scratching her ass as if her life depended on it.
She was going over to protest the nomination of Judge Clarence Thomas to the Supreme Court. She scratched her ass in a manner that made grown men weep. “What did it do to deserve that?” was the cry of photographers. She had a ribbed, multi speed ass scratcher. She had an intern on each cheek smoothing out her skirt lest it ride up to her neck.
Hopefully, I have established that I am not anti-Ass. I Iike a nice ass as much as the next guy. I was glad to see that Jennifer Lopez, for years the unquestioned owner of the most perfect ass in Christendom, now has some serious competition with the sudden appearance of Pippa Middleton. She has an ass worthy of being wrapped in purple and “setting an ashtray on it”.
I’m available for lunch if she ever gets over here. I have friends in Henley-in-Arden who can vouch for me.
It’s time now to focus on the ass du jour. It, all of it, belongs to Michelle Obama. Say this for her: She got her ass out of the house to work.
Despite degrees from 2 Ivy League schools she apparently was not overburdened by ambition. While feeling decidedly “unproud” of her country for not forgiving her school debts she managed to hook up, after a nationwide search, as the head of the Affirmative Action Bed Pan Study Group at the University of Chicago Hospital. The first thing her husband did for her when he was elected to the United States Senate was to get her a raise. One of the things she can share with – to cite Hilary Rosen – the waitress in the middle of Nevada is to have your husband get elected to the United States Senate. Once he is in DC he too can get you a raise. In Michele’s case it was $4,000 – repeat - $4,000 a week. That’s more than $200,000 a year. The math was simple. He sent her employer $1,000,000 – repeat - $1,000,000 to report on the medical consequences of shouting “DA BULLS” and “DA BEARS” at the next public meeting of Minister Louie Farrakhan.
The money got there just in time.
If you think supporting a crack habit is tough just try to score 5 dozen Amazon leeches form South of Carmenmirandaville every day.
She had long given up on small chain saws as abraders and ass jumping Sumo wrestlers as pounders to keep “it” under control, “it” being her ass.
Leeches were the best.
Not just any leeches.
Female leeches in estrus.
Male leeches with a blue veiner that a cat couldn’t scratch.
Lady Leech would fasten on to one of her Rubenesque fanny packs for some chow. Lord Leech would jump on her and penetrate them both. His goal was two-fold. Some chow and some trim. A win/win/win all around!
Lady Leech was purring. Lord Leech was reaching for his smokes. Michele kept her ass in check until noon.
Sometimes Lady Leech had the cramps. Sometimes Lord Leech had a flaccid stinger. That’s why you can never be too rich, too thin, or have too many leeches.
Once her husband becomes unemployed she is going to set sale and size records in the Wal-Mart Spanx/Spandex aisles.
She is going to get an ass that coyotes could nest in.
Thank God she flies in a wide body jet. Put her ass in an F-16 and it would be non-stop to the end to the end of the runway.
I understand that the Secret Service calls her Moon Pie when she is walking towards them and Jemima when she waddles past them.
I was sitting in a kitchen in a house on 30th Street in the Holy city of Bayonne some 20 years ago. I was with the father of the quarterback we were going to see play that night. In the dining room was the quarterback’s mother dancing with his youngest sister. The song was “Achy Breaky Heart” by Miley’s dad. In the kitchen the quarterback’s father, his sister’s father, and the dancing Momma’s husband, a man known for his wit, his repartee, and his Noel Cowardesque salon palaver said, “She’s got a pretty nice ass for a 45 year old broad with 3 kids”. That she did.
Ann Romney has 5 kids and about 15 years on the Bayonne paradigm. Her ass looks OK to me.
If Michele gets a PET- Scan it will take 12 gallons of industrial strength KY jelly to get her into the tunnel. It will take a block and tackle and 6 mules to get her out.
I am glad to see that the “ass” debate is taking on Lincoln/Douglas stature. Next stop Burke/Fox.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Letter to the Editor The Sun Sentinel
April 15, 2012
Letter to the Editor
The Sun Sentinel
500 E. Broward Blvd
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394
RE: “I know that my redeemer liveth” – Some comments on your breathtakingly, egregiously stupendous opinion page in today’s Sun Sentinel
Sirs,
First, the column on “bullying” by Noelle Nikpour
“All History is biography; all biography is anecdote.”
I solved a bullying incident involving my daughter the old fashioned way.
My daughter was being harassed and threatened by another girl who was 2 grades ahead of her. The principal – AKA ”Roland the Worm” – did nothing. I drove my car onto the lawn of the house where the bully lived. I told her father who was standing behind his wife that if my daughter were harassed, threatened, or bullied from this day on I would beat him so badly that he would not be recognizable. Further, I told him I would take my chances with a jury.
This may not be a universal solution but it worked for me. Besides, it’s what a father is supposed to do. More importantly, it worked for my daughter.
Second, the lamentations of Big Stein.
I find it the height of hubris that a modern American Liberal carps about legislators lacking “guts” because they don’t agree with his thunderbolts of wisdom. All it would take to be transported to the land of milk and honey would be the repeal of the laws governing gravity. That will happen as soon as he elects half plus one plus a governor who subscribe to his views, such as they are. He has his work cut out for him so give him some time off to proselytize.
Stein cites 30,000 as the number of gun deaths a year. It is a numbing statistic. My last gunfight was almost 19 years ago. One police officer was dead before he hit the ground. Another was shot in the sternum by a .357 magnum from 7 feet. He lived. He also danced at my daughter’s wedding. I know what a bullet can do at close range.
I offer another statistic.
1,500,000 abortions since 1973. 58,500,000 total. Between 35% and 40% of them are performed on Black women. 6% of the population has killed as many as 25,000,000 people. That is a numbing statistic. A case for government sponsored genocide could be easily made, no? Where’s Al Sharpton when we really need him?
2 small points: Alas, they are both like baby turds in the punch bowl because they are inconveniently true and they pop up from time to time.
A – Switzerland has the highest gun ownership rate in the world. It makes Southern West Virginia and the South Bronx look like Vatican City. It also has the world’s lowest crime rate. We all can’t move there but perhaps we could replace the national anthem with guys in short pants yodeling. What was it that Harry Lime said about the cuckoo clock?
B – In a way exclusively available to board certified modern American Liberals, people who still believe that Julie and Ethel didn’t do “it”, Alger couldn’t have done “it” and that the world would have been a better place if Henry Wallace had been elected, he picks and chooses his facts. For any student of the Founding Fathers his reference to Thomas Jefferson is like finger nails on the blackboard.
It was James Madison and George Mason, his lesser known buddy, who snuck in the part about guns. On a lighter note, Ken Jenne, Broward’s ex-sheriff and ex-con, was the only public official to advocate the repeal of the 3rd Amendment. You may want to look that one up.
On to Steverino.
#3 – I am not a fan of tinkering with any part of the Constitution Since modern American Liberals insist that it is a living, breathing document I might make an exception for Professor Goldstein. I refer to the part about Bills of Attainder. Why not see if flogging, bastinado, and the return of the strapado while listening to hip hop rap at 124 decibels have any saving graces? He would be a good start.
About the vote in Bush v Gore…
The vote on the equal protection portion was 7 - 2 in favor of Bush. The 5 – 4 vote was on a procedural matter of whether or not to accept the case. It is a sublime irony of the highest order that if Robert Bork had been confirmed in 1987 he would have voted against accepting the case. Beware of what you wish for.
Once again facts intrude on Stevie’s tired polemic.
In the years between Bush v Gore and Citizens United 1/3rd of the Supreme Court changed.
Stevie says that Justices Breyer, Ginsburg, Sotomayor, and Kagan will “never” [his term] vote against Obamacare [my term]. I guess he doesn’t know – maybe he doesn’t want to know – that all the above named Justices voted with the majority on certain parts of the Citizens decision.
Incidentally, if the Court has been made better by the addition of a “wise Latina” do you think it has been made better by the addition of 2 “wise Italians”, not to mention 6 practicing Roman Catholics?
Stevie’s sobriquet,
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK,
is one that he never fails to renew.
One more question plus to Big Stein and Stevie before we move on to Congresswoman Frederica Wilson, today’s target of opportunity.
If Mrs. Romney is unfit to comment on anything because her wealth would preclude her from knowing anything of the real world why wasn’t the same standard applied to Madcap Gypsy Lady Tereza Heinz Kerry? The easiest way to commit suicide would be to jump off her billfold. She gave her husband a $7,000,000,000 yacht as a tip, presumably for services rendered. Which of life’s lessons could she have offered to the single mom, a woman of color with children in need of a good Ritalin program, who is being exploited by the low prices at Wal-Mart? I know that Jackie Kennedy helped her husband in his campaign in West Virginia by telling the coal miners’ wives in Logan that their husbands would appreciate water cress or arugula in their baloney and relish sandwiches. Little things like that, plus Poppa Joe’s swag, swung the election
#4 – Congresswoman Frederica Wilson is known for her lavish hats. It is rumored that she wears them when she showers. The real reason she wears them is to keep her brains from falling out.
She picks “Timothy” as her paradigm for feral Black youth – urban style. The woes that “Timoth” must endure are caused by the dreaded Florida FCATs. It is a state wide standardized test to see if – forgive me – the students are learning anything.
Once “Timothy” fails his FCATs he won’t be able to get a high school diploma. Because of that he won’t be able to get a job. Then when he is confronted with White America’s racist insistence on a photo ID to vote “Timothy” will turn to a life of drugs, crime, and the Homeric fathering of children.
She says “not every child needs a college degree”.
I say nay.
Let every “Timothy” who gets past the abortionist’s death hook be given a Bachelor’s degree when his birth is registered.
Later, if he can get a high school diploma to go with it, “Timothy’s” future will be secured.
I understand that Congresswoman Wilson was a school principal. I pity those children. It’s too late for them but let’s start with a new rule: The History teacher, in fact all teachers, must be held to the high standard imposed on the football coach. It’s too late for her. Her tale implies that all that is needed is more teachers being paid more money and the problem will be solved. We will not just see National Merit Scholars but we will see Nobel Prize winners two stepping to Elgar. It sounds like the “shovel ready” jobs plan. How has that worked out?
The Logical progression of her column is since umbrellas cause rain blue skies will be the result of banning umbrellas. Maybe it is the opposite. Maybe twice as many umbrellas – no government can ever cut back on any function – will mean half as much rain spread out to preclude dry seasons. Maybe. I think. All that is needed is a plea for the poor polar bears and the return of Midnight Basketball.
How many “Timothys” has she consigned to the Gahennas of ghetto life? The difference between her and an abortionist is that she only kills the spirit.
Sex, drugs, and rock and roll.
God bless America!
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Letter to the Editor
The Sun Sentinel
500 E. Broward Blvd
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394
RE: “I know that my redeemer liveth” – Some comments on your breathtakingly, egregiously stupendous opinion page in today’s Sun Sentinel
Sirs,
First, the column on “bullying” by Noelle Nikpour
“All History is biography; all biography is anecdote.”
I solved a bullying incident involving my daughter the old fashioned way.
My daughter was being harassed and threatened by another girl who was 2 grades ahead of her. The principal – AKA ”Roland the Worm” – did nothing. I drove my car onto the lawn of the house where the bully lived. I told her father who was standing behind his wife that if my daughter were harassed, threatened, or bullied from this day on I would beat him so badly that he would not be recognizable. Further, I told him I would take my chances with a jury.
This may not be a universal solution but it worked for me. Besides, it’s what a father is supposed to do. More importantly, it worked for my daughter.
Second, the lamentations of Big Stein.
I find it the height of hubris that a modern American Liberal carps about legislators lacking “guts” because they don’t agree with his thunderbolts of wisdom. All it would take to be transported to the land of milk and honey would be the repeal of the laws governing gravity. That will happen as soon as he elects half plus one plus a governor who subscribe to his views, such as they are. He has his work cut out for him so give him some time off to proselytize.
Stein cites 30,000 as the number of gun deaths a year. It is a numbing statistic. My last gunfight was almost 19 years ago. One police officer was dead before he hit the ground. Another was shot in the sternum by a .357 magnum from 7 feet. He lived. He also danced at my daughter’s wedding. I know what a bullet can do at close range.
I offer another statistic.
1,500,000 abortions since 1973. 58,500,000 total. Between 35% and 40% of them are performed on Black women. 6% of the population has killed as many as 25,000,000 people. That is a numbing statistic. A case for government sponsored genocide could be easily made, no? Where’s Al Sharpton when we really need him?
2 small points: Alas, they are both like baby turds in the punch bowl because they are inconveniently true and they pop up from time to time.
A – Switzerland has the highest gun ownership rate in the world. It makes Southern West Virginia and the South Bronx look like Vatican City. It also has the world’s lowest crime rate. We all can’t move there but perhaps we could replace the national anthem with guys in short pants yodeling. What was it that Harry Lime said about the cuckoo clock?
B – In a way exclusively available to board certified modern American Liberals, people who still believe that Julie and Ethel didn’t do “it”, Alger couldn’t have done “it” and that the world would have been a better place if Henry Wallace had been elected, he picks and chooses his facts. For any student of the Founding Fathers his reference to Thomas Jefferson is like finger nails on the blackboard.
It was James Madison and George Mason, his lesser known buddy, who snuck in the part about guns. On a lighter note, Ken Jenne, Broward’s ex-sheriff and ex-con, was the only public official to advocate the repeal of the 3rd Amendment. You may want to look that one up.
On to Steverino.
#3 – I am not a fan of tinkering with any part of the Constitution Since modern American Liberals insist that it is a living, breathing document I might make an exception for Professor Goldstein. I refer to the part about Bills of Attainder. Why not see if flogging, bastinado, and the return of the strapado while listening to hip hop rap at 124 decibels have any saving graces? He would be a good start.
About the vote in Bush v Gore…
The vote on the equal protection portion was 7 - 2 in favor of Bush. The 5 – 4 vote was on a procedural matter of whether or not to accept the case. It is a sublime irony of the highest order that if Robert Bork had been confirmed in 1987 he would have voted against accepting the case. Beware of what you wish for.
Once again facts intrude on Stevie’s tired polemic.
In the years between Bush v Gore and Citizens United 1/3rd of the Supreme Court changed.
Stevie says that Justices Breyer, Ginsburg, Sotomayor, and Kagan will “never” [his term] vote against Obamacare [my term]. I guess he doesn’t know – maybe he doesn’t want to know – that all the above named Justices voted with the majority on certain parts of the Citizens decision.
Incidentally, if the Court has been made better by the addition of a “wise Latina” do you think it has been made better by the addition of 2 “wise Italians”, not to mention 6 practicing Roman Catholics?
Stevie’s sobriquet,
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK,
is one that he never fails to renew.
One more question plus to Big Stein and Stevie before we move on to Congresswoman Frederica Wilson, today’s target of opportunity.
If Mrs. Romney is unfit to comment on anything because her wealth would preclude her from knowing anything of the real world why wasn’t the same standard applied to Madcap Gypsy Lady Tereza Heinz Kerry? The easiest way to commit suicide would be to jump off her billfold. She gave her husband a $7,000,000,000 yacht as a tip, presumably for services rendered. Which of life’s lessons could she have offered to the single mom, a woman of color with children in need of a good Ritalin program, who is being exploited by the low prices at Wal-Mart? I know that Jackie Kennedy helped her husband in his campaign in West Virginia by telling the coal miners’ wives in Logan that their husbands would appreciate water cress or arugula in their baloney and relish sandwiches. Little things like that, plus Poppa Joe’s swag, swung the election
#4 – Congresswoman Frederica Wilson is known for her lavish hats. It is rumored that she wears them when she showers. The real reason she wears them is to keep her brains from falling out.
She picks “Timothy” as her paradigm for feral Black youth – urban style. The woes that “Timoth” must endure are caused by the dreaded Florida FCATs. It is a state wide standardized test to see if – forgive me – the students are learning anything.
Once “Timothy” fails his FCATs he won’t be able to get a high school diploma. Because of that he won’t be able to get a job. Then when he is confronted with White America’s racist insistence on a photo ID to vote “Timothy” will turn to a life of drugs, crime, and the Homeric fathering of children.
She says “not every child needs a college degree”.
I say nay.
Let every “Timothy” who gets past the abortionist’s death hook be given a Bachelor’s degree when his birth is registered.
Later, if he can get a high school diploma to go with it, “Timothy’s” future will be secured.
I understand that Congresswoman Wilson was a school principal. I pity those children. It’s too late for them but let’s start with a new rule: The History teacher, in fact all teachers, must be held to the high standard imposed on the football coach. It’s too late for her. Her tale implies that all that is needed is more teachers being paid more money and the problem will be solved. We will not just see National Merit Scholars but we will see Nobel Prize winners two stepping to Elgar. It sounds like the “shovel ready” jobs plan. How has that worked out?
The Logical progression of her column is since umbrellas cause rain blue skies will be the result of banning umbrellas. Maybe it is the opposite. Maybe twice as many umbrellas – no government can ever cut back on any function – will mean half as much rain spread out to preclude dry seasons. Maybe. I think. All that is needed is a plea for the poor polar bears and the return of Midnight Basketball.
How many “Timothys” has she consigned to the Gahennas of ghetto life? The difference between her and an abortionist is that she only kills the spirit.
Sex, drugs, and rock and roll.
God bless America!
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Anthony W. Orlando The Sun Sentinel
April 8, 2012
Anthony W. Orlando
The Sun Sentinel
RE: Howard Zinn & O.J. Simpson – There is a connection. Some comments on your amusing column of April 6, 2012
My dear Professor,
I saw a yellow ribbon tied around some Easter flowers and it dawned on me that you had gone past the verbal incontinence required, indeed demanded, of ink stained modern American Liberal wretches.
You say that Republicans, rich rotters all, are opposed to students having lunch. Perhaps they are acting as a Trojan horse for advancing Michele Obama’s crusade to make tofu available by IV for all fat assed pre-teens. [How pre-teens wind up with fat asses when Nancy Reagan is on TV every day demanding that they not be allowed to eat is a horse of a different color]
You say, as if no one would notice, that “we can afford to pay the average millionaire an extra $265,000 if Ryan’s tax cuts become law”. Of all the terms that could be used to describe millionaires “average” is the least descriptive. Further, who are the “we” who are going to be signing those checks? Are these funds coming from the famous $ tree that your mother told you about? Are there any golden egged geese nesting in this tree? Does the tree produce that nutritious “rainbow stew” that modern American Liberals speak so highly off?
Your C.V. proudly proclaims degrees from 2 prestigious institutions .Perhaps they now have an on-line program containing Payroll 101. It is empirically self-evident that not only did you miss it the first time around but that it is an extra galactic concept to you.
On Easter Sunday it is important to note that the One who can “create” things does not sit in the White House.
The most important thing to remember about pay checks is that it takes 2 signatures to make them good. Everybody knows that the signature on the back must match the name of the Pay to portion. It is payment for services performed. Alas, and I am sure that Republican racism is to blame, anyone cashing the check demands a photo ID. The signature on the front is by the person who caused it all to happen. If he is an “average” millionaire he pays people to help him stay rich. If he wants to become an “average” millionaire he pays people to get him in front of the curve and out from underneath the lion’s paw.
Here come’s your Damascus moment. You are going to be knocked off your horse. I hope on the way down you get a good look at his ass. I hope the only thing that is hurt is your pride. Pay attention. I’ll type slowly.
Before the government, any government, can create, invest, pay, endow, subsidize, assist, inter alia, it must first take. The government takes from its citizens in 2 ways:
#! – Taxes
#2 – Borrowing
It is so simple that even a pointy headed intelectuloid should be able to get it. If you tax something you have less of it. Beginning with the Emperor Augustus History tells us that if you want to increase tax revenue you decrease rates
#2 causes inflation, a debasement of the currency that leads to cruelest of all taxes. Muggers leave their calling cards in the guise of broken windows, stolen purses, and fat lips. You know that they have been there. The government dare not tell the citizens the true cost of the bread and circuses they have been providing. The government picks your pocket. They don’t have to be in the same room. When your money loses its value sellers demand more of it. Interest rates reflect the lenders’ knowledge that even if the loan gets paid back the money will be worth less.
It was an article of faith for mush brained modern American Liberals that the deficits and the borrowing to finance them under Bush were evil. That Obama has borrowed as much in 3 years as Bush borrowed in 7 years is an inconvenient truth that has been consigned to the memory hole.
Mong, the mendacious Mandarin moneylender, may yet close that account.
You say that if you are unemployed for one year your odds of dying “increase 50%”. It its 2 years the odds are “100%”
Even a blind hog sometimes finds a truffle.
You may have stumbled upon the solution to the deficit, Medicare, Medicaid and whatever else bothers the nation.
I modestly propose that in 30 months we will all be farting through silk.
Fire everybody. Thin the herd. Herbert Spenser and Margaret Sanger would have loved it. The fewer people drawing water from the well the further it will go. Social Darwinism, like Midnight Basketball, never got a fair shot. As a bonus the polar bears will benefit from lessened carbon dioxide production caused by fewer people. Hire them back in 30 months.
Apparently the only form of Darwinism that is not one of the sacraments in the church of modern American Liberalism is the Social kind. Go figure.
But that’s not why I write.
Your usual clap-trap – Free “Balloon Juice” for all, Nuke WalMart, Send us more Kennedys, Is Pelosi dumber than Biden or is it just a coincidence that when both of them are in the same zip code cats pee uncontrollably, tax the oil companies more and the price of gas will go down, and I hope nobody notices that Obama wants to be the engineer on the next train to Auschwitz – has already been discounted by the marketplace of ideas.
There is a story, perhaps apocryphal, perhaps not, about a British sailor being court-martialed for beating a German prisoner. In his defense he said that when Klaus cursed the King he did nothing. When he cursed Winston Churchill he did nothing. “But when he opened that porthole and spit in our ocean I poleaxed that Hun.” Not guilty.
You toss in a throwaway line saying that Howard Zinn is a “great Historian”. The ghosts of Herodotus, of Thucydides, of Gibbon, of Dumas Malone just shuddered. If Zinn is a “great Historian” O. J. Simpson is a great husband. That Big Bill Clinton, the King of the One Eyed Trouser Snakes, humiliated and abused his wife there can be no doubt. What he didn’t do was filet her. That’s why Simpson noses him out.
You can read all his books or you can remember his mantra “Whitey did it” and save yourself money and time. His anthem is “Imagine”. Just imagine.
I have been reading History for a very long time. What you say is as patently offensive as it is untrue.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
PS – How do you cut the taxes of someone who doesn’t pay them?
Anthony W. Orlando
The Sun Sentinel
RE: Howard Zinn & O.J. Simpson – There is a connection. Some comments on your amusing column of April 6, 2012
My dear Professor,
I saw a yellow ribbon tied around some Easter flowers and it dawned on me that you had gone past the verbal incontinence required, indeed demanded, of ink stained modern American Liberal wretches.
You say that Republicans, rich rotters all, are opposed to students having lunch. Perhaps they are acting as a Trojan horse for advancing Michele Obama’s crusade to make tofu available by IV for all fat assed pre-teens. [How pre-teens wind up with fat asses when Nancy Reagan is on TV every day demanding that they not be allowed to eat is a horse of a different color]
You say, as if no one would notice, that “we can afford to pay the average millionaire an extra $265,000 if Ryan’s tax cuts become law”. Of all the terms that could be used to describe millionaires “average” is the least descriptive. Further, who are the “we” who are going to be signing those checks? Are these funds coming from the famous $ tree that your mother told you about? Are there any golden egged geese nesting in this tree? Does the tree produce that nutritious “rainbow stew” that modern American Liberals speak so highly off?
Your C.V. proudly proclaims degrees from 2 prestigious institutions .Perhaps they now have an on-line program containing Payroll 101. It is empirically self-evident that not only did you miss it the first time around but that it is an extra galactic concept to you.
On Easter Sunday it is important to note that the One who can “create” things does not sit in the White House.
The most important thing to remember about pay checks is that it takes 2 signatures to make them good. Everybody knows that the signature on the back must match the name of the Pay to portion. It is payment for services performed. Alas, and I am sure that Republican racism is to blame, anyone cashing the check demands a photo ID. The signature on the front is by the person who caused it all to happen. If he is an “average” millionaire he pays people to help him stay rich. If he wants to become an “average” millionaire he pays people to get him in front of the curve and out from underneath the lion’s paw.
Here come’s your Damascus moment. You are going to be knocked off your horse. I hope on the way down you get a good look at his ass. I hope the only thing that is hurt is your pride. Pay attention. I’ll type slowly.
Before the government, any government, can create, invest, pay, endow, subsidize, assist, inter alia, it must first take. The government takes from its citizens in 2 ways:
#! – Taxes
#2 – Borrowing
It is so simple that even a pointy headed intelectuloid should be able to get it. If you tax something you have less of it. Beginning with the Emperor Augustus History tells us that if you want to increase tax revenue you decrease rates
#2 causes inflation, a debasement of the currency that leads to cruelest of all taxes. Muggers leave their calling cards in the guise of broken windows, stolen purses, and fat lips. You know that they have been there. The government dare not tell the citizens the true cost of the bread and circuses they have been providing. The government picks your pocket. They don’t have to be in the same room. When your money loses its value sellers demand more of it. Interest rates reflect the lenders’ knowledge that even if the loan gets paid back the money will be worth less.
It was an article of faith for mush brained modern American Liberals that the deficits and the borrowing to finance them under Bush were evil. That Obama has borrowed as much in 3 years as Bush borrowed in 7 years is an inconvenient truth that has been consigned to the memory hole.
Mong, the mendacious Mandarin moneylender, may yet close that account.
You say that if you are unemployed for one year your odds of dying “increase 50%”. It its 2 years the odds are “100%”
Even a blind hog sometimes finds a truffle.
You may have stumbled upon the solution to the deficit, Medicare, Medicaid and whatever else bothers the nation.
I modestly propose that in 30 months we will all be farting through silk.
Fire everybody. Thin the herd. Herbert Spenser and Margaret Sanger would have loved it. The fewer people drawing water from the well the further it will go. Social Darwinism, like Midnight Basketball, never got a fair shot. As a bonus the polar bears will benefit from lessened carbon dioxide production caused by fewer people. Hire them back in 30 months.
Apparently the only form of Darwinism that is not one of the sacraments in the church of modern American Liberalism is the Social kind. Go figure.
But that’s not why I write.
Your usual clap-trap – Free “Balloon Juice” for all, Nuke WalMart, Send us more Kennedys, Is Pelosi dumber than Biden or is it just a coincidence that when both of them are in the same zip code cats pee uncontrollably, tax the oil companies more and the price of gas will go down, and I hope nobody notices that Obama wants to be the engineer on the next train to Auschwitz – has already been discounted by the marketplace of ideas.
There is a story, perhaps apocryphal, perhaps not, about a British sailor being court-martialed for beating a German prisoner. In his defense he said that when Klaus cursed the King he did nothing. When he cursed Winston Churchill he did nothing. “But when he opened that porthole and spit in our ocean I poleaxed that Hun.” Not guilty.
You toss in a throwaway line saying that Howard Zinn is a “great Historian”. The ghosts of Herodotus, of Thucydides, of Gibbon, of Dumas Malone just shuddered. If Zinn is a “great Historian” O. J. Simpson is a great husband. That Big Bill Clinton, the King of the One Eyed Trouser Snakes, humiliated and abused his wife there can be no doubt. What he didn’t do was filet her. That’s why Simpson noses him out.
You can read all his books or you can remember his mantra “Whitey did it” and save yourself money and time. His anthem is “Imagine”. Just imagine.
I have been reading History for a very long time. What you say is as patently offensive as it is untrue.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
PS – How do you cut the taxes of someone who doesn’t pay them?
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Stephen L. Goldstein The Sun Sentinel
April 1, 2012
Stephen L. Goldstein
The Sun Sentinel
RE: A new profession in your golden years? Some comments on your column in today’s paper.
My dear Professor,
Have you ever thought what you would do if the Tribune reorganization fails and the Sun Sentinel is liquidated? How about if Rupert Murdoch buys it? I know you were a big time investor in Solyndra. Your 401K probably looks like a 101K.
For years, “The World’s Tallest Midget”, sometimes accompanied by “The World’s Smartest Bear” in non-rutting season, has made a good living going on tour like a rock star.
They played on the circuit that includes county fairs, bah humbug mitzvahs, tractor pulls, bachelorette parties, Midnight Basketball awards ceremonies, Kumbaya sing offs, inter alia.
You could tour this fair land as “The Best/Worst Example of BDS”. For the great unwashed, that’s Bush Derangement Syndrome.
Allow me to recapture some words – Sacred & Holy – that have been hijacked by the turbaned thugs who have also hijacked our planes.
Today begins the holiest week in Christendom.
The Founders pledged their fortunes and their sacred honor to America.
It is indeed fitting and proper to speak of our rights, particularly in a week that all religions honor. Our rights were not given to us by a benevolent government. They are ours from birth “from beyond the stars”. There is no more sacred place than that. 26 centuries our Hellenic forebears said the “Free men speak with free tongues”.
Thus, I claim the right, indeed the duty, to point out all the turds that you have floated in this morning’s modern American Liberal punch bowl.
#1 – The story of Bush v Gore begins with the sliming of Judge Bork. For that the late Senator Lard Kennedy should get your thanks. The Supreme Court voted 5 to 4 to accept the case. It then voted 7 to 2 to deny Gore’s petition thus sending VP Alpha Gump back to perfecting the Internet, “Releasing his shakra”, and breathing new life into the ozone layer. If Bork had been confirmed he would have voted against accepting the case. Be careful what you wish for.
#2 – If Albert Arnold Gore, Jr, the son of Albert Arnold Gore, Sr, AKA Armand Hammer’s Bag Man, had carried Tennessee, his home state, he would have been President even if Bush had pitched a shutout in Florida.
#3 – If President Handsome Billy from Hot Springs had carried Arkansas, his home state, Thumper Gump and all the baby Gumpsters would have had a 4 year lease on the White House.
#4 – It is one of those inconvenient truth for modern American Liberals but the New York Times said that the Florida vote totals were 100% correct. What the Hell do they know?
#5 - Gary Stein, your ideological bunkmate in today’s paper, says that he wants “no more Nazi references”. At the height of the Schiavo matter it was something that the hate filled racist eugenicist, Margaret Sanger, would have loved. Any chance she got for culling the herd of “defectives”, defectives being defined as mentally deficient people, homosexuals, disfigured people, Jews, gypsies, and non-Caucasians she would have leaped at. Hitler so admired her writings that he used them for the basis of his 1934 race laws. Later, her work was used by the defense at the Nuremberg trials.
#6 – I thought the Stand Your Ground act was passed by the legislature and then signed by the Governor. Thanks for telling me that he bypassed the legislature and used his executive powers to pass it. I guess he wanted to pass it so he could see what was in it. How long has the legislature been absent from Tallahassee? How long has it been since we had an election for state wide offices? Why wasn’t I told?
#7 – The Constitution guarantees each state a Republican form of government. Look it up. Don’t blame legislators for voting as they promised their electors they would. Next time, if there is a next time, get more of “your people” to vote. When they get half plus one of the Houses and they elect a Governor they can pass Don’t Stand Your Ground. Until then you have my permission to carp, kvetch, and caterwaul about what those people have done in the voting booth
#8 – I congratulate you on your ability to write things so egregiously ignorant of History that my fingernails curl backwards.
“Even the most cynical among us never imagined
The degree to which ballots were routinely tossed.”
To me, the highlight of the 2000 recount was when a man named Daley, a son of Emperor Richard the First of Chicago, got off the plane and said, straight faced and without wetting his pants, “Let the recount begin”. He would have continued the tradition begun by Landslide Lyndon in 1948. I for one believe that the recount in Duval County, the one that showed 201 of the 203 votes cast in one district were in alphabetical order, was not a fluke. Somebody won the big LOTTO last night, didn’t they?
One of the great accomplishments of Mayor Daley in Chicago was that no one died around Election Day. Modern medicine, a caring political machine, and the need for last minute absentee ballot names precluded death. The following year, the not quite dead, were early voters.
It is said that Daley’s heavy thumb on the scale for Kennedy in 1960 haunted him. If Nixon had won Johnson would not been able to say that he “personally approved the bombing of every shit house in Vietnam”.
#9 – One thing more before I go. You say…
“George W entangled us in a war in Iraq…”
One of the perpetual mantras of modern American Liberals is that had Bush been impeached he could have used diminished capacity as a defense. I have heard of people flunking out of Yale and Harvard. I seldom hear of people flunking in to them. If he was so God Damn dumb that he still thinks that Manual Labor does his lawn how was he able to euchre 3/4ths of Congress into voting for it?
Modern American Liberals, particularly those infused with terminal non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome, should have known better.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
PS – Lord Barack the Benevolent has borrowed as much in 3 years as W did in 8. Mush brained pundits said it was terrible and immoral then. Why is it OK now?
Stephen L. Goldstein
The Sun Sentinel
RE: A new profession in your golden years? Some comments on your column in today’s paper.
My dear Professor,
Have you ever thought what you would do if the Tribune reorganization fails and the Sun Sentinel is liquidated? How about if Rupert Murdoch buys it? I know you were a big time investor in Solyndra. Your 401K probably looks like a 101K.
For years, “The World’s Tallest Midget”, sometimes accompanied by “The World’s Smartest Bear” in non-rutting season, has made a good living going on tour like a rock star.
They played on the circuit that includes county fairs, bah humbug mitzvahs, tractor pulls, bachelorette parties, Midnight Basketball awards ceremonies, Kumbaya sing offs, inter alia.
You could tour this fair land as “The Best/Worst Example of BDS”. For the great unwashed, that’s Bush Derangement Syndrome.
Allow me to recapture some words – Sacred & Holy – that have been hijacked by the turbaned thugs who have also hijacked our planes.
Today begins the holiest week in Christendom.
The Founders pledged their fortunes and their sacred honor to America.
It is indeed fitting and proper to speak of our rights, particularly in a week that all religions honor. Our rights were not given to us by a benevolent government. They are ours from birth “from beyond the stars”. There is no more sacred place than that. 26 centuries our Hellenic forebears said the “Free men speak with free tongues”.
Thus, I claim the right, indeed the duty, to point out all the turds that you have floated in this morning’s modern American Liberal punch bowl.
#1 – The story of Bush v Gore begins with the sliming of Judge Bork. For that the late Senator Lard Kennedy should get your thanks. The Supreme Court voted 5 to 4 to accept the case. It then voted 7 to 2 to deny Gore’s petition thus sending VP Alpha Gump back to perfecting the Internet, “Releasing his shakra”, and breathing new life into the ozone layer. If Bork had been confirmed he would have voted against accepting the case. Be careful what you wish for.
#2 – If Albert Arnold Gore, Jr, the son of Albert Arnold Gore, Sr, AKA Armand Hammer’s Bag Man, had carried Tennessee, his home state, he would have been President even if Bush had pitched a shutout in Florida.
#3 – If President Handsome Billy from Hot Springs had carried Arkansas, his home state, Thumper Gump and all the baby Gumpsters would have had a 4 year lease on the White House.
#4 – It is one of those inconvenient truth for modern American Liberals but the New York Times said that the Florida vote totals were 100% correct. What the Hell do they know?
#5 - Gary Stein, your ideological bunkmate in today’s paper, says that he wants “no more Nazi references”. At the height of the Schiavo matter it was something that the hate filled racist eugenicist, Margaret Sanger, would have loved. Any chance she got for culling the herd of “defectives”, defectives being defined as mentally deficient people, homosexuals, disfigured people, Jews, gypsies, and non-Caucasians she would have leaped at. Hitler so admired her writings that he used them for the basis of his 1934 race laws. Later, her work was used by the defense at the Nuremberg trials.
#6 – I thought the Stand Your Ground act was passed by the legislature and then signed by the Governor. Thanks for telling me that he bypassed the legislature and used his executive powers to pass it. I guess he wanted to pass it so he could see what was in it. How long has the legislature been absent from Tallahassee? How long has it been since we had an election for state wide offices? Why wasn’t I told?
#7 – The Constitution guarantees each state a Republican form of government. Look it up. Don’t blame legislators for voting as they promised their electors they would. Next time, if there is a next time, get more of “your people” to vote. When they get half plus one of the Houses and they elect a Governor they can pass Don’t Stand Your Ground. Until then you have my permission to carp, kvetch, and caterwaul about what those people have done in the voting booth
#8 – I congratulate you on your ability to write things so egregiously ignorant of History that my fingernails curl backwards.
“Even the most cynical among us never imagined
The degree to which ballots were routinely tossed.”
To me, the highlight of the 2000 recount was when a man named Daley, a son of Emperor Richard the First of Chicago, got off the plane and said, straight faced and without wetting his pants, “Let the recount begin”. He would have continued the tradition begun by Landslide Lyndon in 1948. I for one believe that the recount in Duval County, the one that showed 201 of the 203 votes cast in one district were in alphabetical order, was not a fluke. Somebody won the big LOTTO last night, didn’t they?
One of the great accomplishments of Mayor Daley in Chicago was that no one died around Election Day. Modern medicine, a caring political machine, and the need for last minute absentee ballot names precluded death. The following year, the not quite dead, were early voters.
It is said that Daley’s heavy thumb on the scale for Kennedy in 1960 haunted him. If Nixon had won Johnson would not been able to say that he “personally approved the bombing of every shit house in Vietnam”.
#9 – One thing more before I go. You say…
“George W entangled us in a war in Iraq…”
One of the perpetual mantras of modern American Liberals is that had Bush been impeached he could have used diminished capacity as a defense. I have heard of people flunking out of Yale and Harvard. I seldom hear of people flunking in to them. If he was so God Damn dumb that he still thinks that Manual Labor does his lawn how was he able to euchre 3/4ths of Congress into voting for it?
Modern American Liberals, particularly those infused with terminal non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome, should have known better.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
PS – Lord Barack the Benevolent has borrowed as much in 3 years as W did in 8. Mush brained pundits said it was terrible and immoral then. Why is it OK now?
Gary Stein The Sun Sentinel
April 1, 2012
Gary Stein
The Sun Sentinel
RE: “I’m sorry…not.” – Some comments on your column in today’s Sun Sentinel
Big Stein,
Reagan is still dead. Tebow is too young. That leaves us with The Duke.
“Never apologize. It’s a sign of weakness.”
I suppose a quote from Woody Allen or Sean Penn or the ghost of Rock Hudson could be used to keep this “fair and balanced” but I think both of us would be sorry.
I agree with the major premise of your column. “If I have offended you” puts the entire apology into the murky world of the subjunctive. Modern American Liberals have no choice but to begin any apology with that caveat. As “Men without chests”, believing in nothing, they are forced to believe in anything. Thus, their favorite color must be plaid.
Speaking of “Nazi references”….
On September 18, 2001, then State Senator Debbie Wasserman-Schultz sent Agent Thomas and Agent Mineva of the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, men with badges, guns, and the full majesty of the law, to my house because of something I wrote. Agent Mineva said that not only should I stop writing to her but that I should stop writing to all public officials.
That doesn’t quite rank with Kristalnacht but can I use the terms “chilling effect” and “slippery slope”? What if they had seized my files? Isn’t that what the Nazis did?
Speaking of “Nazi references” and “apologies” I consider it a touchstone of American political and, more importantly, American moral life to see where all the modern American Liberals stood on August 22, 1939. You remember that, don’t you? Stalin and his good pal Hitler decided to bury the hatchet. The first place where it was buried was in Poland’s neck. Has anyone ever apologized for that?
For one day short of 2 years and 2 months Hitler had more friends on the American Left than Doctor Suess or Woody Guthrie. Even the Rosenbergs did a little goose stepping. Alger Hiss became a fan of Wagner. Richard, not Honus. It was like Guernica never happened. Orwell almost had nowhere to go.
As a country we have apologized to our non-Macaca Indians. We have apologized to Japanese Americans. There are a lot of Americans soldiers buried in Africa, Sicily, Italy, and Western Europe. Has anyone ever apologized for that?
How about an apology at the Democratic convention?
OOPS!
Sorry.
April Fool!
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Gary Stein
The Sun Sentinel
RE: “I’m sorry…not.” – Some comments on your column in today’s Sun Sentinel
Big Stein,
Reagan is still dead. Tebow is too young. That leaves us with The Duke.
“Never apologize. It’s a sign of weakness.”
I suppose a quote from Woody Allen or Sean Penn or the ghost of Rock Hudson could be used to keep this “fair and balanced” but I think both of us would be sorry.
I agree with the major premise of your column. “If I have offended you” puts the entire apology into the murky world of the subjunctive. Modern American Liberals have no choice but to begin any apology with that caveat. As “Men without chests”, believing in nothing, they are forced to believe in anything. Thus, their favorite color must be plaid.
Speaking of “Nazi references”….
On September 18, 2001, then State Senator Debbie Wasserman-Schultz sent Agent Thomas and Agent Mineva of the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, men with badges, guns, and the full majesty of the law, to my house because of something I wrote. Agent Mineva said that not only should I stop writing to her but that I should stop writing to all public officials.
That doesn’t quite rank with Kristalnacht but can I use the terms “chilling effect” and “slippery slope”? What if they had seized my files? Isn’t that what the Nazis did?
Speaking of “Nazi references” and “apologies” I consider it a touchstone of American political and, more importantly, American moral life to see where all the modern American Liberals stood on August 22, 1939. You remember that, don’t you? Stalin and his good pal Hitler decided to bury the hatchet. The first place where it was buried was in Poland’s neck. Has anyone ever apologized for that?
For one day short of 2 years and 2 months Hitler had more friends on the American Left than Doctor Suess or Woody Guthrie. Even the Rosenbergs did a little goose stepping. Alger Hiss became a fan of Wagner. Richard, not Honus. It was like Guernica never happened. Orwell almost had nowhere to go.
As a country we have apologized to our non-Macaca Indians. We have apologized to Japanese Americans. There are a lot of Americans soldiers buried in Africa, Sicily, Italy, and Western Europe. Has anyone ever apologized for that?
How about an apology at the Democratic convention?
OOPS!
Sorry.
April Fool!
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Kingsley Guy The Sun Sentinel
March 25, 2012
Kingsley Guy
The Sun Sentinel
RE: “It’s Hard to Define a True Conservative” – Some comments on your column today about how Robert Taft, Hadley Arkes, Strom Thurmond, Thomas Sowell, and Nat Hentoff could sup, with regular spoons, at the same table.
Mr. Guy,
Your article shows the political breadth of the American Conservative movement.
Joe the Plumber, Calvin Coolidge, Tom Osborne, and Bobby Jindal could sit at the same table. It’s hard to leave out Disraeli and Thatcher but I will try to keep the discussion on this side of the Atlantic.
It’s usually easy to spot a Conservative.
He is always aware of “the conflict between order and freedom”.
But…
He is the one who smiles when people call Kipling a racist or a sexist.
He is the one who prefers T.S. Eliot to Rod McKuen.
He is the one who knows that the Davis Bacon Act and the minimum wage couldn’t have had a more harmful effect on American Blacks if noted Klan leader Robert Byrd [D-WVA] had written them.
He is the one who knows that after reading Richard Weaver and Alan Tate he will search in vain for a similar wellspring of knowledge from modern American Liberalism.
He is the one who knows that Buckley was both blessed and buttressed by his dear friend Russell Kirk. Kirk on Burke and Eliot has made this country a richer place.
He is the one who having read Charles Reich and John Rawls knows what it is to have eaten a large bowl of whipped cream.
He is the one who knows that Cicero was the noblest Roman of them all.
He is the one who knows why the Greeks in the agora made democracy a four letter word.
He is the one who knows that the last time temperatures spiked upward we got the Renaissance.
He is the one who knows that Dr. J’s first name is Samuel.
He is the one who knew of the Permanent Things before he knew what they were.
He knows that the saying on the back of the dollar bill – He has blessed our undertakings – is true.
He knows that government, any government, can’t give anything to anyone without first taking it from someone else.
He knows he is a legatee of the magical thing called Western Civilization.
He knows that civilizations from the Fertile Crescent, from the Andes, from the steppes of Russia, from anywhere in Africa combined can’t stand in the shadow of his.
He knows that rights are not given to us by a government but are ours from birth. He knows they are ours from “beyond the stars”.
He knows that the road to Auschwitz begins at an abortion clinic.
He knows that he must preserve the estate accumulated for him by DWEMs. Dead White European Males.
He knows that order is preferable to chaos.
He knows that a miracle happened in Philadelphia in 1787.
He knows that an ounce of gold bought a good suit and shoes for James Madison when he was writing in 1787. He knows that it still will do so today.
He knows that an accounting of his stewardship will be required.
He knows that lists like this that do not mention C.S. Lewis, The Federalist Papers, de Tocqueville, Whittaker Chambers, Hayek, Friedman, Jeffrey Hart, Podhoretz, Chesterton, Solzhenitsyn – I’ll run out of ink – is never adequate.
He knows that “Man is a little bit of straw into which God has breathed”.
And he knows that any country that can give us the hula hoop, the Salk vaccine,
Green Stamps, microwaves and the MRI, the Atomic Bomb, the Green Bay Packer Sweep, giant shrimp, the Big Mac, Texas Bar-B-Q, the DC3 and the SR71, Teflon, Revlamid, safety razors, John Basilone, disposable cameras, CB radio, seltzer, The Duke, spandex, Walt Disney, Harley Hogs, Kemmons Wilson, the Dance Theater of Harlem, September 2, 1945, “A Confederacy of Dunces”, the designated hitter, FedEx, apples at Easter, corn dogs, microprocessors, Omaha Beach, the electric can opener, powdered eggs, one big Wall – down, faded jeans, Beanie Babies, SDI, and Ronald Reagan probably does travel under God’s protection.
We survived disco, leisure suits, and Jimmy Carter.
I almost forgot the Moon shot. Fly there. Pick up some souvenirs. Fly back. Another day at the office.
There is one thing that binds all of the above together. Free men did them. When it is nut cutting time Conservatives stand for freedom. A modern American Liberal stands for…stands for…Midnight Basketball, “fairness”, and everything in life ending in a scoreless tie. Their “Fatal Conceit”, one born of an abundance of non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome, is the Sisyphean task of pushing that rock plus carping about why everybody else isn’t smart like me.
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
PS – The definition of a true Liberal begins with “My favorite color is plaid”.
Kingsley Guy
The Sun Sentinel
RE: “It’s Hard to Define a True Conservative” – Some comments on your column today about how Robert Taft, Hadley Arkes, Strom Thurmond, Thomas Sowell, and Nat Hentoff could sup, with regular spoons, at the same table.
Mr. Guy,
Your article shows the political breadth of the American Conservative movement.
Joe the Plumber, Calvin Coolidge, Tom Osborne, and Bobby Jindal could sit at the same table. It’s hard to leave out Disraeli and Thatcher but I will try to keep the discussion on this side of the Atlantic.
It’s usually easy to spot a Conservative.
He is always aware of “the conflict between order and freedom”.
But…
He is the one who smiles when people call Kipling a racist or a sexist.
He is the one who prefers T.S. Eliot to Rod McKuen.
He is the one who knows that the Davis Bacon Act and the minimum wage couldn’t have had a more harmful effect on American Blacks if noted Klan leader Robert Byrd [D-WVA] had written them.
He is the one who knows that after reading Richard Weaver and Alan Tate he will search in vain for a similar wellspring of knowledge from modern American Liberalism.
He is the one who knows that Buckley was both blessed and buttressed by his dear friend Russell Kirk. Kirk on Burke and Eliot has made this country a richer place.
He is the one who having read Charles Reich and John Rawls knows what it is to have eaten a large bowl of whipped cream.
He is the one who knows that Cicero was the noblest Roman of them all.
He is the one who knows why the Greeks in the agora made democracy a four letter word.
He is the one who knows that the last time temperatures spiked upward we got the Renaissance.
He is the one who knows that Dr. J’s first name is Samuel.
He is the one who knew of the Permanent Things before he knew what they were.
He knows that the saying on the back of the dollar bill – He has blessed our undertakings – is true.
He knows that government, any government, can’t give anything to anyone without first taking it from someone else.
He knows he is a legatee of the magical thing called Western Civilization.
He knows that civilizations from the Fertile Crescent, from the Andes, from the steppes of Russia, from anywhere in Africa combined can’t stand in the shadow of his.
He knows that rights are not given to us by a government but are ours from birth. He knows they are ours from “beyond the stars”.
He knows that the road to Auschwitz begins at an abortion clinic.
He knows that he must preserve the estate accumulated for him by DWEMs. Dead White European Males.
He knows that order is preferable to chaos.
He knows that a miracle happened in Philadelphia in 1787.
He knows that an ounce of gold bought a good suit and shoes for James Madison when he was writing in 1787. He knows that it still will do so today.
He knows that an accounting of his stewardship will be required.
He knows that lists like this that do not mention C.S. Lewis, The Federalist Papers, de Tocqueville, Whittaker Chambers, Hayek, Friedman, Jeffrey Hart, Podhoretz, Chesterton, Solzhenitsyn – I’ll run out of ink – is never adequate.
He knows that “Man is a little bit of straw into which God has breathed”.
And he knows that any country that can give us the hula hoop, the Salk vaccine,
Green Stamps, microwaves and the MRI, the Atomic Bomb, the Green Bay Packer Sweep, giant shrimp, the Big Mac, Texas Bar-B-Q, the DC3 and the SR71, Teflon, Revlamid, safety razors, John Basilone, disposable cameras, CB radio, seltzer, The Duke, spandex, Walt Disney, Harley Hogs, Kemmons Wilson, the Dance Theater of Harlem, September 2, 1945, “A Confederacy of Dunces”, the designated hitter, FedEx, apples at Easter, corn dogs, microprocessors, Omaha Beach, the electric can opener, powdered eggs, one big Wall – down, faded jeans, Beanie Babies, SDI, and Ronald Reagan probably does travel under God’s protection.
We survived disco, leisure suits, and Jimmy Carter.
I almost forgot the Moon shot. Fly there. Pick up some souvenirs. Fly back. Another day at the office.
There is one thing that binds all of the above together. Free men did them. When it is nut cutting time Conservatives stand for freedom. A modern American Liberal stands for…stands for…Midnight Basketball, “fairness”, and everything in life ending in a scoreless tie. Their “Fatal Conceit”, one born of an abundance of non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome, is the Sisyphean task of pushing that rock plus carping about why everybody else isn’t smart like me.
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
PS – The definition of a true Liberal begins with “My favorite color is plaid”.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Alberto M. Carvalho – Superintendent Miami-Dade Public Schools
March 27, 2012
Alberto M. Carvalho – Superintendent
Miami-Dade Public Schools
1450 NE 2nd Avenue
Miami, FL 33132
Miami, Florida
RE: What the Hell were you thinking? – Some comments on your letter to the editor in today’s Miami Herald and is it too late to bring back bastinado?
Superintendent Carvalho,
It is said that during preparations for a battle in the Peninsula War the Duke of Wellington said, after reviewing his troops, “They may not scare the enemy but they terrify me”.
That you are in charge of the nation’s 5th largest school district makes me forget Global Warming, the Taliban, teenage obesity, Iranian nuclear weapons, the heartbreak of psoriasis, and bullying. Fish stink from the head. Your ordure will cause Disney Land to lose bookings this Easter. You raise a stench in the nostrils of honest men that will do away with a generation of sinuses in South Florida
Do you remember the TV show where contestants got to run up and down the aisles of a supermarket? The winner was the one who had the highest value in his cart. Would you believe that I just saw a tape of some of your students from North Miami Beach High School ransacking a Walgreen’s this morning? “Alternative shopping” is what Congresswoman Maxine Walters calls it. She is a shrill lady who gives harridans a bad name. Before she went to Congress she ran a school for wanabee banshees.
Your students were taped at 10:40 AM. They had been released to grieve for Trayvon Martin. The accepted form of grieving for any institution governed by the rules of modern American Liberalsim begins with looting and pillaging. It is too early to know if rape were in this morning’s syllabus. Doubtless, they were motivated by your stirring argumentum ad captandum in today’s Miami Herald.
I hope you won’t think ill of me if I point out that some 3 score feral Black youth from North Miami Beach High School looting a drug store is not the best preparation for the dreaded Florida FCATs.
If you ever get any of the alleged perpetrators back into a classroom rather than a detention center may I suggest a reading of “The Ox-Bow Incident”? Perhaps the really bright ones can have a go at “To Kill a Mockingbird”.
I believe that you are the perfect man for the job. No sense of History, no sense of discipline, and certainly no sense of Justice.
Sense your students have so much free time perhaps you could assign some of them to find out the name of the 6 year old girl – Black – from Chicago who was killed in crossfire between rival gangs – both Black. Do you think she was filled with “hope and promise”?
Maybe you could get your students to run through a church for her. Call ahead to make sure the poor boxes are filled.
Kevin Smith
Alberto M. Carvalho – Superintendent
Miami-Dade Public Schools
1450 NE 2nd Avenue
Miami, FL 33132
Miami, Florida
RE: What the Hell were you thinking? – Some comments on your letter to the editor in today’s Miami Herald and is it too late to bring back bastinado?
Superintendent Carvalho,
It is said that during preparations for a battle in the Peninsula War the Duke of Wellington said, after reviewing his troops, “They may not scare the enemy but they terrify me”.
That you are in charge of the nation’s 5th largest school district makes me forget Global Warming, the Taliban, teenage obesity, Iranian nuclear weapons, the heartbreak of psoriasis, and bullying. Fish stink from the head. Your ordure will cause Disney Land to lose bookings this Easter. You raise a stench in the nostrils of honest men that will do away with a generation of sinuses in South Florida
Do you remember the TV show where contestants got to run up and down the aisles of a supermarket? The winner was the one who had the highest value in his cart. Would you believe that I just saw a tape of some of your students from North Miami Beach High School ransacking a Walgreen’s this morning? “Alternative shopping” is what Congresswoman Maxine Walters calls it. She is a shrill lady who gives harridans a bad name. Before she went to Congress she ran a school for wanabee banshees.
Your students were taped at 10:40 AM. They had been released to grieve for Trayvon Martin. The accepted form of grieving for any institution governed by the rules of modern American Liberalsim begins with looting and pillaging. It is too early to know if rape were in this morning’s syllabus. Doubtless, they were motivated by your stirring argumentum ad captandum in today’s Miami Herald.
I hope you won’t think ill of me if I point out that some 3 score feral Black youth from North Miami Beach High School looting a drug store is not the best preparation for the dreaded Florida FCATs.
If you ever get any of the alleged perpetrators back into a classroom rather than a detention center may I suggest a reading of “The Ox-Bow Incident”? Perhaps the really bright ones can have a go at “To Kill a Mockingbird”.
I believe that you are the perfect man for the job. No sense of History, no sense of discipline, and certainly no sense of Justice.
Sense your students have so much free time perhaps you could assign some of them to find out the name of the 6 year old girl – Black – from Chicago who was killed in crossfire between rival gangs – both Black. Do you think she was filled with “hope and promise”?
Maybe you could get your students to run through a church for her. Call ahead to make sure the poor boxes are filled.
Kevin Smith
Sunday, March 25, 2012
March 25, 2012
Gary Stein
The Sun Sentinel
RE: What’s To Be Done? - Some comments on your column about the killing of Trayvon Martin.
Big Stein,
Allow me to use the opposite of one of my favorite Rhetorical devices. Please note the capital R. I used to be astonished when modern American Liberals thought Rhetoric and Sophistry were the same. I know better now. The reason is simple: Sophistry better suits the aims of people who confuse feelings with ideas. After all, why confuse the issue with facts. They can be such damned inconvenient things.
You say that the only reason Trayvon Martin is dead is because “he was born black”. Let us assume that your premise is both valid and truthful
[In my multi-cultural “quilt” I always capitalize Black and White.]
The 20th century’s first successful community organizer asked, in a most unRhetorical manner, “What’s to be done”?
#1 – We can snatch the decidedly nonCaucasian George Zimmerman out of jail and string him up. Maybe it’s time to update both “The Ox-Bow Incident” and “To Kill a Mockingbird”.
#2 – What if he can neither understand the charges against him nor can he assist in his own defense? That didn’t stop the Clintons from wiring up Ricky Ray Rector and frying him anyway.
#3 How about legislation – city, county, state, federal – specifically banning the shooting of 3rd world hoodie wearers?
#3 – We can appreciate in the Holy season of Lent – Islam does not own the word Holy – that there exists a real palpable thing called evil. In 35 centuries of legislation all we have done is define it and punish it. Polio, leprosy, macaw noses, rickets, erectile dysfunction, male pattern baldness, itty bitty little titties, small pox, inter alia, all have been treated successfully by science. Total extinction, as long as it does not run afoul of the Endangered Species Act, is within sight for some of the aforementioned.
#4 – When the radio character in the ‘30s began his broadcast with the chilling words “Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of man?” he spoke better than he knew. When that “low, dishonest decade” ended the number of people killed on a whim was already approaching something so incalculable as to numb the counters. It was just a taste of what was to come.
#5 – If the races were reversed another chorus of outrage would have been mounted.
What motivated the shooter? Was he the product of a broken home? Were his schools properly funded? Was he responding to the siren call of rap music? Did he have slave blood? How about nutrition? Did the CIA flood his neighborhood with drugs? Did racism take away his ability to reason? If only White America had been attentive to his needs this wouldn’t have happened, right? If only we had programs for youth that could have predicted and prevented these things. If only we had built one less carrier. If only the rich had paid their “fair” share of taxes.
#6 -
“After the first death there are no others.”
And what was the name of the 6 year old Black child in Chicago who was shot and killed last weekend? Police have ruled out the possibility of a Lexus filled with White teenagers from Winnetka coming in for a taste of street life, drive by shootings, and all that. The word tragedy is tossed around so much it loses its impact.
They are both going to be dead for a long time.
God rest their souls.
“How sad of all the things that men endure
how few Laws or Kings can cause or cure.”
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Gary Stein
The Sun Sentinel
RE: What’s To Be Done? - Some comments on your column about the killing of Trayvon Martin.
Big Stein,
Allow me to use the opposite of one of my favorite Rhetorical devices. Please note the capital R. I used to be astonished when modern American Liberals thought Rhetoric and Sophistry were the same. I know better now. The reason is simple: Sophistry better suits the aims of people who confuse feelings with ideas. After all, why confuse the issue with facts. They can be such damned inconvenient things.
You say that the only reason Trayvon Martin is dead is because “he was born black”. Let us assume that your premise is both valid and truthful
[In my multi-cultural “quilt” I always capitalize Black and White.]
The 20th century’s first successful community organizer asked, in a most unRhetorical manner, “What’s to be done”?
#1 – We can snatch the decidedly nonCaucasian George Zimmerman out of jail and string him up. Maybe it’s time to update both “The Ox-Bow Incident” and “To Kill a Mockingbird”.
#2 – What if he can neither understand the charges against him nor can he assist in his own defense? That didn’t stop the Clintons from wiring up Ricky Ray Rector and frying him anyway.
#3 How about legislation – city, county, state, federal – specifically banning the shooting of 3rd world hoodie wearers?
#3 – We can appreciate in the Holy season of Lent – Islam does not own the word Holy – that there exists a real palpable thing called evil. In 35 centuries of legislation all we have done is define it and punish it. Polio, leprosy, macaw noses, rickets, erectile dysfunction, male pattern baldness, itty bitty little titties, small pox, inter alia, all have been treated successfully by science. Total extinction, as long as it does not run afoul of the Endangered Species Act, is within sight for some of the aforementioned.
#4 – When the radio character in the ‘30s began his broadcast with the chilling words “Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of man?” he spoke better than he knew. When that “low, dishonest decade” ended the number of people killed on a whim was already approaching something so incalculable as to numb the counters. It was just a taste of what was to come.
#5 – If the races were reversed another chorus of outrage would have been mounted.
What motivated the shooter? Was he the product of a broken home? Were his schools properly funded? Was he responding to the siren call of rap music? Did he have slave blood? How about nutrition? Did the CIA flood his neighborhood with drugs? Did racism take away his ability to reason? If only White America had been attentive to his needs this wouldn’t have happened, right? If only we had programs for youth that could have predicted and prevented these things. If only we had built one less carrier. If only the rich had paid their “fair” share of taxes.
#6 -
“After the first death there are no others.”
And what was the name of the 6 year old Black child in Chicago who was shot and killed last weekend? Police have ruled out the possibility of a Lexus filled with White teenagers from Winnetka coming in for a taste of street life, drive by shootings, and all that. The word tragedy is tossed around so much it loses its impact.
They are both going to be dead for a long time.
God rest their souls.
“How sad of all the things that men endure
how few Laws or Kings can cause or cure.”
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Margaret Carlson Bloomberg New
March 19, 2012
Margaret Carlson
Bloomberg New
1399 New York Avenue
Washington, DC 20005
RE: The GOP chick problem; Here comes the TAX man; Count those votes, maybe twice; Has the Hound picked up your scent?; Finger nails on the blackboard grammar flub – Some comments on your column in Sunday’s Miami Herald
Dear Peg,
First, the stupendously egregious error.
“Then again, none of its basic facts have been challenged…”
In your eagerness to advance your cause you forgot that none is a collective noun. 3rd person singular, present tense the verb always ends with s as in has. Got it?
It’s a small thing, no bigger than a man’s fist on the horizon, but it can be an acid test.
I am glad to see that you landed on your feet after Bloomberg dumped its Opinion section. I thought you went to your favorite seat by the fire in your son Tucker’s home. He is a yhoung man any mother could be proud of.
If you work for about 17 more years you should be able to replace the losses you sustained in your 401K account. Solyndra had many victims. If they could flim-flam the Nobel Prize winning President and his Nobel Prize winning Energy Secretary what chance did you have? Maybe you could get the DC franchise rights for the soon to be successful $50 light bulb. Move over Colonel Sanders and Ronald McDonald! Here comes Maggie! You could yet make the 1%. As soon as the 99%ers find out they will come and take a group dump on your lawn.
But I digress.
It’s been 11 and ½ years since you said that all overseas deployed GIs were tax cheats. Further, you said that because they were all going to vote for Bush their votes shouldn’t be counted. Maybe Cook County or Hudson County could use them as they have in the past.
It just dawned on me that all the troops you called tax cheats were deployed on Big Bill Clinton’s watch.
Since we are within the octave of Saint Patrick’s Day allow me some leeway as I do a wee bit of stream of consciousness a la James Joyce.
I am reading your column about the HBO movie about Sarah Palin. As soon as the coven of ink stained modern American Liberal winches – [wretches would be accepted as a substitute] found out that she does not worship at the altar of abortion, abortion, abortion, including the rarely performed 5th trimester one, she becomes less than worthless. She became the anti-Gravitas candidate.
[As an aside, I am curious as to how all the public Roman Catholic women square the circle of abortion. Essentially they – you – want to able both to eat your cake and have it. I suggest the successful Martin Luther model. He could not reconcile his beliefs with the Roman Catholic Church. You remember that one, don’t you? Christ said to Peter that “Upon this rock I will build me Church and the gates of Hell shall not prevail against it”, that one. Luther had an honesty not found in modern American Liberal women. He started his own church.]
Once Sarah Palin failed that test the cannons of modern American Liberalism were trained on her. It’s a small thing but I bet that she knows that there are 50 states in the Union. Her handy mnemonic device is to look at the American flag. If the number of Stars doesn’t change the number of states is still 50. She knows that if Austrians speak Austrian, that Belgians probably speak Belgian, that the inhabitants of Elba speak Elbanian, that people living in Albany speak Albanian, and that Indians [red dot, not native moose hunters] speak Indian. The damn thing is that she broke the mold of inevitability set by Lord Barack the Beneficent when she discovered that Alaskans don’t speak Alaskan.
John Sparkman [D-AL] was Adlai Stevenson’s first VP candidate. Whatever else he was he was a stone cold racist. He liked “Birth of a Nation” more than “Gone with the Wind”. He always called “them” Nigras. He gave the name of his custom KKK robe tailor to Robert Byrd [D-WVA] Since he could pee standing up I won’t mention him.
Let’s take Geraldine Felini Zuchini.
Other than her lack of a prostate gland and her toes on the line mobbed up husband what particular qualifications did she bring to the table in 1984? If she played Gracie Allen to Mondale’s George Burns it would have been cruel and unusual punishment.
If Mondale – and wasn’t he just a boob? – had been elected he would have put her in charge of “shovel ready” jobs. What with her “family” connection to the building trades it would have been a natural. She would have balanced the budget by putting the squeeze on cement dealers, garbage companies, and the restaurant linen business. It’s true that she wouldn’t know how to dress or cook a moose but her uncle “Big Moose” and his son. “Little Moose” would have been able to help her. Their small loan collection business was so successful that they would have been glad to help her. Speaking of family values, her son was known as “The Druggist”. It was not because he worked at Walgreen’s.
Then we come to Hillary Rodham Clinton.
Like the current First Lady she wrote an interesting senior thesis. Ms. Obama, soon to be known as the Queen of Spandex and the champion of visible panty lines, wrote hers on how hard it was to be a Black woman on a full scholarship to Princeton University. Don’t think me a cad but if she had been a scholarship student at Ms. Fatima’s School for Cliteroidectomied Girls in Kafiristan I would have had a different perspective on it. I might, for the first time, even be proud of her and her country
Hillary Rodham’s senior thesis was on the heroic exploits of the quintessential community activist, Saul Alinsky. Honest. You could look it up.
Her professional career showed that no glass ceiling was going to stop her.
It was just a coincidence that she was hired by the state’s largest law firm after her husband was elected Attorney General.
Call me a cock-eyed optimist but I think it was still just a coincidence that she was made a partner in the state’s largest law firm after husband, Handsome Billy from Hot Springs, was elected Governor
“I am woman, hear me roar” worked for her, didn’t it?
Because of her vast experience and because she sometimes slept with the Governor [“Once a year” was what she supposedly told her “pal” Vince Foster] she was made an outside director of TCBY – The Country’s Best Yogurt. The food police would have put her in the nearest Cuisinart today.
When WALMART came calling she said “I’m your girl”. Her connection with WALMART is glossed over and any pictures of her as Greeter for a Day have been airbrushed out as if she were a Politburo member who came fell on hard times.
At some point she knew that her husband would, and probably did, hump a snake if someone held its head.
The highlight of her time in the White House was when she and Big Bill, King of the One-Eyed Trouser Snakes, came back from church one Easter Sunday. She went upstairs to whet her “Woman as Victim” psyche. The President of the United States went into the Oval Office to get a big girl, knock out her eye teeth hummer from the zoftig intern. And this qualifies her to be what?
What a country! “That’s why”, as Big Mike from Bayonne, the legendary sportsman, noted restaurateur, and now a distinguished public servant, still says, “You never see anybody swimming to Cuba”.
But I digress.
You said on Thanksgiving, 2000 that all American GIs deployed overseas were tax cheats. Further, and the only way to make tax cheating worse was, or so you told us, that the grunts or gruntresses were all going to vote for George Bush. Since you weren’t sure what percentage would have done so your solution was simple: Toss them all out.
We have a bit of a poser in 2012.
Barack Hannibal Obama deployed 35,000 troops to Afghanistan. In the normal troop rotation anywhere from 50,000 to 100,000 new GIs were sent to Afghanistan and/or Iraq. Let’s split the difference. There could be as many as 110,000 “extra” votes. Imagine what that could have done in Palm Beach County in 2000. Remember what it did do in West Virginia and Illinois in 1960.
It makes no sense to send them to Blue states. We know that no Red state will ever see them.
How about we channel the ghost of King Daley the First of Chicago into being the gatekeeper? He would hold them in reserve – the votes, not the soldiers - until midnight. He would know which of the Purple states could use a thumb on the scale. Or two. Or a 12 volt battery. Or 2 snow tires and a few bar bells. Or a box of hammers. Or whatever it takes.
That’s it for a while.
Let me remind you that there is still ample time for you to make your Easter Duty. How quaint and discordant that sounds.
And there is that great opening line that you can never quite get out of your head.
“Halfway through my journey I found myself in the dark wood of error.”
Kevin Smith
Margaret Carlson
Bloomberg New
1399 New York Avenue
Washington, DC 20005
RE: The GOP chick problem; Here comes the TAX man; Count those votes, maybe twice; Has the Hound picked up your scent?; Finger nails on the blackboard grammar flub – Some comments on your column in Sunday’s Miami Herald
Dear Peg,
First, the stupendously egregious error.
“Then again, none of its basic facts have been challenged…”
In your eagerness to advance your cause you forgot that none is a collective noun. 3rd person singular, present tense the verb always ends with s as in has. Got it?
It’s a small thing, no bigger than a man’s fist on the horizon, but it can be an acid test.
I am glad to see that you landed on your feet after Bloomberg dumped its Opinion section. I thought you went to your favorite seat by the fire in your son Tucker’s home. He is a yhoung man any mother could be proud of.
If you work for about 17 more years you should be able to replace the losses you sustained in your 401K account. Solyndra had many victims. If they could flim-flam the Nobel Prize winning President and his Nobel Prize winning Energy Secretary what chance did you have? Maybe you could get the DC franchise rights for the soon to be successful $50 light bulb. Move over Colonel Sanders and Ronald McDonald! Here comes Maggie! You could yet make the 1%. As soon as the 99%ers find out they will come and take a group dump on your lawn.
But I digress.
It’s been 11 and ½ years since you said that all overseas deployed GIs were tax cheats. Further, you said that because they were all going to vote for Bush their votes shouldn’t be counted. Maybe Cook County or Hudson County could use them as they have in the past.
It just dawned on me that all the troops you called tax cheats were deployed on Big Bill Clinton’s watch.
Since we are within the octave of Saint Patrick’s Day allow me some leeway as I do a wee bit of stream of consciousness a la James Joyce.
I am reading your column about the HBO movie about Sarah Palin. As soon as the coven of ink stained modern American Liberal winches – [wretches would be accepted as a substitute] found out that she does not worship at the altar of abortion, abortion, abortion, including the rarely performed 5th trimester one, she becomes less than worthless. She became the anti-Gravitas candidate.
[As an aside, I am curious as to how all the public Roman Catholic women square the circle of abortion. Essentially they – you – want to able both to eat your cake and have it. I suggest the successful Martin Luther model. He could not reconcile his beliefs with the Roman Catholic Church. You remember that one, don’t you? Christ said to Peter that “Upon this rock I will build me Church and the gates of Hell shall not prevail against it”, that one. Luther had an honesty not found in modern American Liberal women. He started his own church.]
Once Sarah Palin failed that test the cannons of modern American Liberalism were trained on her. It’s a small thing but I bet that she knows that there are 50 states in the Union. Her handy mnemonic device is to look at the American flag. If the number of Stars doesn’t change the number of states is still 50. She knows that if Austrians speak Austrian, that Belgians probably speak Belgian, that the inhabitants of Elba speak Elbanian, that people living in Albany speak Albanian, and that Indians [red dot, not native moose hunters] speak Indian. The damn thing is that she broke the mold of inevitability set by Lord Barack the Beneficent when she discovered that Alaskans don’t speak Alaskan.
John Sparkman [D-AL] was Adlai Stevenson’s first VP candidate. Whatever else he was he was a stone cold racist. He liked “Birth of a Nation” more than “Gone with the Wind”. He always called “them” Nigras. He gave the name of his custom KKK robe tailor to Robert Byrd [D-WVA] Since he could pee standing up I won’t mention him.
Let’s take Geraldine Felini Zuchini.
Other than her lack of a prostate gland and her toes on the line mobbed up husband what particular qualifications did she bring to the table in 1984? If she played Gracie Allen to Mondale’s George Burns it would have been cruel and unusual punishment.
If Mondale – and wasn’t he just a boob? – had been elected he would have put her in charge of “shovel ready” jobs. What with her “family” connection to the building trades it would have been a natural. She would have balanced the budget by putting the squeeze on cement dealers, garbage companies, and the restaurant linen business. It’s true that she wouldn’t know how to dress or cook a moose but her uncle “Big Moose” and his son. “Little Moose” would have been able to help her. Their small loan collection business was so successful that they would have been glad to help her. Speaking of family values, her son was known as “The Druggist”. It was not because he worked at Walgreen’s.
Then we come to Hillary Rodham Clinton.
Like the current First Lady she wrote an interesting senior thesis. Ms. Obama, soon to be known as the Queen of Spandex and the champion of visible panty lines, wrote hers on how hard it was to be a Black woman on a full scholarship to Princeton University. Don’t think me a cad but if she had been a scholarship student at Ms. Fatima’s School for Cliteroidectomied Girls in Kafiristan I would have had a different perspective on it. I might, for the first time, even be proud of her and her country
Hillary Rodham’s senior thesis was on the heroic exploits of the quintessential community activist, Saul Alinsky. Honest. You could look it up.
Her professional career showed that no glass ceiling was going to stop her.
It was just a coincidence that she was hired by the state’s largest law firm after her husband was elected Attorney General.
Call me a cock-eyed optimist but I think it was still just a coincidence that she was made a partner in the state’s largest law firm after husband, Handsome Billy from Hot Springs, was elected Governor
“I am woman, hear me roar” worked for her, didn’t it?
Because of her vast experience and because she sometimes slept with the Governor [“Once a year” was what she supposedly told her “pal” Vince Foster] she was made an outside director of TCBY – The Country’s Best Yogurt. The food police would have put her in the nearest Cuisinart today.
When WALMART came calling she said “I’m your girl”. Her connection with WALMART is glossed over and any pictures of her as Greeter for a Day have been airbrushed out as if she were a Politburo member who came fell on hard times.
At some point she knew that her husband would, and probably did, hump a snake if someone held its head.
The highlight of her time in the White House was when she and Big Bill, King of the One-Eyed Trouser Snakes, came back from church one Easter Sunday. She went upstairs to whet her “Woman as Victim” psyche. The President of the United States went into the Oval Office to get a big girl, knock out her eye teeth hummer from the zoftig intern. And this qualifies her to be what?
What a country! “That’s why”, as Big Mike from Bayonne, the legendary sportsman, noted restaurateur, and now a distinguished public servant, still says, “You never see anybody swimming to Cuba”.
But I digress.
You said on Thanksgiving, 2000 that all American GIs deployed overseas were tax cheats. Further, and the only way to make tax cheating worse was, or so you told us, that the grunts or gruntresses were all going to vote for George Bush. Since you weren’t sure what percentage would have done so your solution was simple: Toss them all out.
We have a bit of a poser in 2012.
Barack Hannibal Obama deployed 35,000 troops to Afghanistan. In the normal troop rotation anywhere from 50,000 to 100,000 new GIs were sent to Afghanistan and/or Iraq. Let’s split the difference. There could be as many as 110,000 “extra” votes. Imagine what that could have done in Palm Beach County in 2000. Remember what it did do in West Virginia and Illinois in 1960.
It makes no sense to send them to Blue states. We know that no Red state will ever see them.
How about we channel the ghost of King Daley the First of Chicago into being the gatekeeper? He would hold them in reserve – the votes, not the soldiers - until midnight. He would know which of the Purple states could use a thumb on the scale. Or two. Or a 12 volt battery. Or 2 snow tires and a few bar bells. Or a box of hammers. Or whatever it takes.
That’s it for a while.
Let me remind you that there is still ample time for you to make your Easter Duty. How quaint and discordant that sounds.
And there is that great opening line that you can never quite get out of your head.
“Halfway through my journey I found myself in the dark wood of error.”
Kevin Smith
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Gary Stein The Sun Sentinel
March 18, 2012
Gary Stein
The Sun Sentinel
RE: “Quaff deeply of the Pierian spring” - Some comments on the abuses inflicted on Logic in your column this day.
Big Stein,
Logic is most certainly the keystone to the Trivium. Thus, it became a spring board that propelled man into something called Western Civilization, but you knew that, didn’t you?
It is also a discipline.
It is not a parabolic curve.
“Because I am a nice guy I will keep this simple.” In your case I’ll type very slowly. Listen up.
Logic is the antidote to fallacious thinking.
Long before there were fuzzy minded modern American Liberals, people who substitute feelings for ideas, it was the antidote to Sophists who specialized in rabble rousing shibboleths to keep the ubermenschen in charge of the untermenschen. Its DNA leads straight to Debbie Wasserman-Schultz who begins each day by saying the best way to make Americans free is to make them less free. That’s as good a reason as I can figure out for why she sent agents of the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, men with badges and guns, after me for something I wrote.
Chief among the fallacies is “post hoc propter ergo hoc”. After this because of this is profoundly offensive to Logic. Alas, it is the basis for all legislation proposed by today’s barbarians, the Democratic Party. Gosh, but I sure hope that changes.
Anyway, “a little knowledge is a dangerous thing”. That plus “experience is the only school where some people will learn” should, Logically, cause the light bulb to go on.
Silly me. Logic to a modern American Liberal is like a mongoose to a cobra.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Gary Stein
The Sun Sentinel
RE: “Quaff deeply of the Pierian spring” - Some comments on the abuses inflicted on Logic in your column this day.
Big Stein,
Logic is most certainly the keystone to the Trivium. Thus, it became a spring board that propelled man into something called Western Civilization, but you knew that, didn’t you?
It is also a discipline.
It is not a parabolic curve.
“Because I am a nice guy I will keep this simple.” In your case I’ll type very slowly. Listen up.
Logic is the antidote to fallacious thinking.
Long before there were fuzzy minded modern American Liberals, people who substitute feelings for ideas, it was the antidote to Sophists who specialized in rabble rousing shibboleths to keep the ubermenschen in charge of the untermenschen. Its DNA leads straight to Debbie Wasserman-Schultz who begins each day by saying the best way to make Americans free is to make them less free. That’s as good a reason as I can figure out for why she sent agents of the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, men with badges and guns, after me for something I wrote.
Chief among the fallacies is “post hoc propter ergo hoc”. After this because of this is profoundly offensive to Logic. Alas, it is the basis for all legislation proposed by today’s barbarians, the Democratic Party. Gosh, but I sure hope that changes.
Anyway, “a little knowledge is a dangerous thing”. That plus “experience is the only school where some people will learn” should, Logically, cause the light bulb to go on.
Silly me. Logic to a modern American Liberal is like a mongoose to a cobra.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Steven Goldstein The Sun-Sentinel
March 18, 2012
Steven Goldstein
The Sun-Sentinel
RE: Too much Saint Patrick’s Day celebration? Some comments on your column in which you nail your theses to the door of the church of modern American Liberalism.
My dear Professor,
Your assignment today is to find out who wrote the following passage.
“He has erected a multitude of new offices, and sent
hither swarms of officers, to harass our people,
and eat out their substance.”
Here are some hints.
It was published on July 4th, 1776. The man who wrote it became President of the United States despite having no experience as a community activist.
Also, your comment that you “are against the state’s seizing private property without just compensation” is not only not original it is borderline plagiarism. The only mitigation your defense could prevent is that it wasn’t swiped from a document that no card carrying modern American Liberal ever reads. It’s called the Constitution. It too was written by another future President who, despite a remarkable background, also had no experience as a community organizer. The last 12 words of the 5th Amendment read “nor shall private property be taken for public use without just compensation”.
A key to understanding any of the various documents in the pantheon of liberty is that they are anathema to the warped thinking processes of modern American Liberals. They all say what government cannot do. Also, they proclaim that certain rights are ours by virtue of birth. These rights are ours “from beyond the stars”. Since no government can grant these rights all they can do is affirm them or deny them. You may wish to become more conversant with something called the Natural Law.
Simple, isn’t it?
You mention a company that profited from “corporate welfare”. It was “enticed to move to Florida for a $750,000 state grant”. The only positive thing that can be said of the transaction is that we did not borrow the money from China. $750,000 is a rounding error compared to the $600,000,000 rat hole called Solyndra. Maybe you can tell me the difference between them.
It was sign of Irish hospitality in my father’s house that there was no such thing as a large whiskey .Maybe, as my father’s father would say, you had a “wee bit too much of the craythur”. Maybe some of the “breath of life” killed the Saul Alinsky brain cells. Maybe your blind devotion to Keynes has come upon its Damascus moment.
Maybe you have come to know that “stones are hard, water is wet”.
Maybe there are leprechauns.
Maybe “a terrible beauty is born”.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Steven Goldstein
The Sun-Sentinel
RE: Too much Saint Patrick’s Day celebration? Some comments on your column in which you nail your theses to the door of the church of modern American Liberalism.
My dear Professor,
Your assignment today is to find out who wrote the following passage.
“He has erected a multitude of new offices, and sent
hither swarms of officers, to harass our people,
and eat out their substance.”
Here are some hints.
It was published on July 4th, 1776. The man who wrote it became President of the United States despite having no experience as a community activist.
Also, your comment that you “are against the state’s seizing private property without just compensation” is not only not original it is borderline plagiarism. The only mitigation your defense could prevent is that it wasn’t swiped from a document that no card carrying modern American Liberal ever reads. It’s called the Constitution. It too was written by another future President who, despite a remarkable background, also had no experience as a community organizer. The last 12 words of the 5th Amendment read “nor shall private property be taken for public use without just compensation”.
A key to understanding any of the various documents in the pantheon of liberty is that they are anathema to the warped thinking processes of modern American Liberals. They all say what government cannot do. Also, they proclaim that certain rights are ours by virtue of birth. These rights are ours “from beyond the stars”. Since no government can grant these rights all they can do is affirm them or deny them. You may wish to become more conversant with something called the Natural Law.
Simple, isn’t it?
You mention a company that profited from “corporate welfare”. It was “enticed to move to Florida for a $750,000 state grant”. The only positive thing that can be said of the transaction is that we did not borrow the money from China. $750,000 is a rounding error compared to the $600,000,000 rat hole called Solyndra. Maybe you can tell me the difference between them.
It was sign of Irish hospitality in my father’s house that there was no such thing as a large whiskey .Maybe, as my father’s father would say, you had a “wee bit too much of the craythur”. Maybe some of the “breath of life” killed the Saul Alinsky brain cells. Maybe your blind devotion to Keynes has come upon its Damascus moment.
Maybe you have come to know that “stones are hard, water is wet”.
Maybe there are leprechauns.
Maybe “a terrible beauty is born”.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Dave Hyde The Sun Sentinel
March 18, 2012
Dave Hyde
The Sun Sentinel
200 East Las Olas Boulevard
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: “Don’t make me choose” – Is it possible to commit geographical libel? Some comments that indicate that your column today has done so.
Mr. Hyde,
There is much to be learned from Homer Simpson.
A few years ago, when Jacksonville hosted the Super Bowl, you wrote about the city as if it were an amalgam of Kandahar, Liberty City, and borrowing your newest geographical term, “Hooterville”.
My advice to you then was simple.
Stay home.
Now, faced with the dawn of an era of non-Manning football, you libelously label some potential Peyton landing sites, Missouri, Tennessee, and Arizona, as “Hootervilles”.
I hold no particular brief for Missouri but any state that can give us Harry Truman and Rush Limbaugh can’t be all bad.
It will take decades to wipe clean the stain on Tennessee’s escutcheon caused by it being the home state of Albert Arnold Gore, Jr. AKA Alpha Gump. Only the presence of the champion of trickle down distilling, Jack Daniel’s, lightens the effects of the curse of Goredom.
As to Arizona, it must be pointed out that it was a leader in multicultural, rainbow quilt diversity long before it was the “in” thing to do when it became the only state to name a county after a Native American. Don’t bother Googling it. Cochise County.
By the by, if your picks for “Hootervilles” are correct would Buffalo and Green Bay be the front runners for “Nowhereville”?
Of the 3 awards that I give from time to time you have just now earned 2.
The one that you didn’t win, HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK, would be an insult to your accomplishment. It would be like giving Seal Team 6 the award for perfect attendance.
POMPOUS FART OF THE MONTH & SMARMY BASTARD OF THE YEAR, the 2 that you did win gave me the same knotted knicker feeling that Homer Simpson, the universal “Everyman”, had when he said “Don’t Make Me Choose”.
The solution was simple.
For suffering from a terminal case of “Non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”, an always fatal infection caused by the dreaded hubris virus and one that is always associated with the ca-ca for brains modern American Liberals who occupy the vipers’ nest that is your editorial aerie, I award both of them to you.
Accordingly, and by the powers vested in me I name you
POMPOUS FART OF THE MONTH
&
SMARMY BASTARD OF THE YEAR
[Silly me! You may not know what “Non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome” is. If you don’t send a SASE.]
Congratulations.
You got them the old fashioned way.
You earned them!
Kevin Smith
Dave Hyde
The Sun Sentinel
200 East Las Olas Boulevard
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: “Don’t make me choose” – Is it possible to commit geographical libel? Some comments that indicate that your column today has done so.
Mr. Hyde,
There is much to be learned from Homer Simpson.
A few years ago, when Jacksonville hosted the Super Bowl, you wrote about the city as if it were an amalgam of Kandahar, Liberty City, and borrowing your newest geographical term, “Hooterville”.
My advice to you then was simple.
Stay home.
Now, faced with the dawn of an era of non-Manning football, you libelously label some potential Peyton landing sites, Missouri, Tennessee, and Arizona, as “Hootervilles”.
I hold no particular brief for Missouri but any state that can give us Harry Truman and Rush Limbaugh can’t be all bad.
It will take decades to wipe clean the stain on Tennessee’s escutcheon caused by it being the home state of Albert Arnold Gore, Jr. AKA Alpha Gump. Only the presence of the champion of trickle down distilling, Jack Daniel’s, lightens the effects of the curse of Goredom.
As to Arizona, it must be pointed out that it was a leader in multicultural, rainbow quilt diversity long before it was the “in” thing to do when it became the only state to name a county after a Native American. Don’t bother Googling it. Cochise County.
By the by, if your picks for “Hootervilles” are correct would Buffalo and Green Bay be the front runners for “Nowhereville”?
Of the 3 awards that I give from time to time you have just now earned 2.
The one that you didn’t win, HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK, would be an insult to your accomplishment. It would be like giving Seal Team 6 the award for perfect attendance.
POMPOUS FART OF THE MONTH & SMARMY BASTARD OF THE YEAR, the 2 that you did win gave me the same knotted knicker feeling that Homer Simpson, the universal “Everyman”, had when he said “Don’t Make Me Choose”.
The solution was simple.
For suffering from a terminal case of “Non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”, an always fatal infection caused by the dreaded hubris virus and one that is always associated with the ca-ca for brains modern American Liberals who occupy the vipers’ nest that is your editorial aerie, I award both of them to you.
Accordingly, and by the powers vested in me I name you
POMPOUS FART OF THE MONTH
&
SMARMY BASTARD OF THE YEAR
[Silly me! You may not know what “Non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome” is. If you don’t send a SASE.]
Congratulations.
You got them the old fashioned way.
You earned them!
Kevin Smith
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Leonard Pitts Jr. The Miami Herald
March 11, 2012
Leonard Pitts Jr.
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 33132-1693
RE: Muslim sitcoms, fatwas, stonings, no more pulled pork sandwiches, and why it usually always the White guy’s fault. Some comments on your column on why we should love our burgaed neighbor and not worry about the odd cliteroidectomy.
Mr. Pitts,
I must confess that I never saw All American Muslim. I don’t think I ever saw a complete episode of The Cosby Show. I never liked The Lucille Ball Show. The only thing I liked about Ozzie & Harriet was his sweaters. If faced with the prospect of Leaving it to Beaver I did. Will there ever be another Ralph Kramden?
The only family show I like now is The Simpsons and it took the better part of a decade.
Speaking of the late and lamented All American Muslim…
Did they ever have an episode about the stoning of 60 Emos, Emo being another term for non-heterosexual?
Did they ever have an episode on “Dancing Boys”? No, they are not recruits for Alvin Ailey or Arthur Mitchell. They are animate objects of the sexual pleasure of men who approve of the stoning of Emos.
Did they have an episode on Salman Rushdie and he got used to a life of duck and cover because of something he wrote?
I think I missed the episode that compared the reaction to the first public viewing of Nude Descending a Staircase and some of those really cool cartoons about Mohammed chasing his favorite goat so he could play Pin the Phallus on him.
I know from ancient Logic classes that a universal can never be constructed from a particular regardless of how many of them are smack dab in front of you. Still, don’t you think it a statistical anomaly that all – no exceptions, none – terrorists in the 21st century shouted Allah Akbar before they tried to slaughter their allotted share of innocents?
Was there one featuring a scholar of ancient Muslim History who could explain why ravaging Islamic hordes were halfway across Europe less than 100 years after their religion was started? Maybe he – there ain’t never going to be a need for she, right? – can tell us if Islam became a religion of peace after they got a Texas sized ass whipping at Lepanto or after their siege of Vienna failed.
Why did they outlaw whistling?
What the Hell do they have against balloons?
How about the 2500 year old statues of Buddha they blew up?
How do you think Snooki or Barney Frank would do in Riyadh? She likes bacon and he can’t dance anymore.
I don’t know how many mosques are in this country. I do how many churches are in Yemen. Wazupwidat?
Before those evil White slave traders took their African Blacks to the Americas – more were bought for Brazil than for here – they bought them from evil Black Muslim kidnappers. Was a show on that ever done?
Speaking of slavery there are at least 5 Muslim run countries that still allow slavery. Any shows on that touchy subject?
13 centuries after Christ we had something called The Divine Comedy. It’s been 15 centuries since Muhammad went to the “undiscovered country”. Where is the Islamic version?
If I said I liked Porky Pig cartoons would that make me a bigot?
Would it be culturally insensitive of me to disagree with your saying that advertisers leaving “My Big Fat Muslim Beheading” were not an example of “corporate gutlessness”? If by chance you turned out to be correct what, pray tell, would you call the advertisers leaving Rush Limbaugh?
Do you think that if the President should approve the beheading of the American GI who killed 16 Muslims because he heard they defaced a Bible?
For Lent – Would Sharia law permit Lent? – I am just going to watch the Weather Channel.
Kevin Smith
Leonard Pitts Jr.
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 33132-1693
RE: Muslim sitcoms, fatwas, stonings, no more pulled pork sandwiches, and why it usually always the White guy’s fault. Some comments on your column on why we should love our burgaed neighbor and not worry about the odd cliteroidectomy.
Mr. Pitts,
I must confess that I never saw All American Muslim. I don’t think I ever saw a complete episode of The Cosby Show. I never liked The Lucille Ball Show. The only thing I liked about Ozzie & Harriet was his sweaters. If faced with the prospect of Leaving it to Beaver I did. Will there ever be another Ralph Kramden?
The only family show I like now is The Simpsons and it took the better part of a decade.
Speaking of the late and lamented All American Muslim…
Did they ever have an episode about the stoning of 60 Emos, Emo being another term for non-heterosexual?
Did they ever have an episode on “Dancing Boys”? No, they are not recruits for Alvin Ailey or Arthur Mitchell. They are animate objects of the sexual pleasure of men who approve of the stoning of Emos.
Did they have an episode on Salman Rushdie and he got used to a life of duck and cover because of something he wrote?
I think I missed the episode that compared the reaction to the first public viewing of Nude Descending a Staircase and some of those really cool cartoons about Mohammed chasing his favorite goat so he could play Pin the Phallus on him.
I know from ancient Logic classes that a universal can never be constructed from a particular regardless of how many of them are smack dab in front of you. Still, don’t you think it a statistical anomaly that all – no exceptions, none – terrorists in the 21st century shouted Allah Akbar before they tried to slaughter their allotted share of innocents?
Was there one featuring a scholar of ancient Muslim History who could explain why ravaging Islamic hordes were halfway across Europe less than 100 years after their religion was started? Maybe he – there ain’t never going to be a need for she, right? – can tell us if Islam became a religion of peace after they got a Texas sized ass whipping at Lepanto or after their siege of Vienna failed.
Why did they outlaw whistling?
What the Hell do they have against balloons?
How about the 2500 year old statues of Buddha they blew up?
How do you think Snooki or Barney Frank would do in Riyadh? She likes bacon and he can’t dance anymore.
I don’t know how many mosques are in this country. I do how many churches are in Yemen. Wazupwidat?
Before those evil White slave traders took their African Blacks to the Americas – more were bought for Brazil than for here – they bought them from evil Black Muslim kidnappers. Was a show on that ever done?
Speaking of slavery there are at least 5 Muslim run countries that still allow slavery. Any shows on that touchy subject?
13 centuries after Christ we had something called The Divine Comedy. It’s been 15 centuries since Muhammad went to the “undiscovered country”. Where is the Islamic version?
If I said I liked Porky Pig cartoons would that make me a bigot?
Would it be culturally insensitive of me to disagree with your saying that advertisers leaving “My Big Fat Muslim Beheading” were not an example of “corporate gutlessness”? If by chance you turned out to be correct what, pray tell, would you call the advertisers leaving Rush Limbaugh?
Do you think that if the President should approve the beheading of the American GI who killed 16 Muslims because he heard they defaced a Bible?
For Lent – Would Sharia law permit Lent? – I am just going to watch the Weather Channel.
Kevin Smith
Gary Stein The Sun-Sentinel
March 11, 2012
Gary Stein
The Sun-Sentinel
RE: “Will no one rid us of this noxious weed?” – Some prose on the pro-smoking side of this great moral dilemma.
Big Stein,
Would not Logic dictate that if cranberries could be banned in 1959, if Alar could no longer be used on apples [Thanks to the brilliant testimony of noted research biologist Meryl Streep], if Phisohex could be made a prescription only drug in 1973, and if America swallowed hook, line, and sinker all the ca-ca claptrap posited by Rachel Carson – a charlatan who made Lysenko look like a good scientist – and banned DDT shouldn’t we just ban the sale and use of all tobacco products? If Red Man and snuff and Kools and El Productos and Prince Albert in a can and Blacky Milds do not constitute a clear and present danger then neither does skinny dipping in the reactor pool at Chernobyl.
When has the nanny state, a state populated by card carrying, fire breathing modern American Liberals, ever not responded to an alarm bell as loud as this? It’s almost as if there were an ulterior motive in acquiescing in allowing easily identifiable villains to rape and pillage their victims. Many of the victims are single moms who are women of color. Since the matter of 5th trimester abortions is still off the table perhaps we don’t outlaw smoking because it limits the number of lesser breeds among us. Perhaps not.
[I can’t let the DDT mention go without an additional comment. I saw a 3rd World infant die of malaria. The thermometer did no go high enough to measure its temperature. Its stomach was so distended that it was a terrible task to determine its sex. DDT kills the Anopholes mosquito that carries malaria. It has had no other proven deleterious effects. The witch doctors’ wives’ tales about effected raptors make the accounts about Global Cooling – Remember Paul Ehrlich? – Global Warming and now the neutral term Climate Change seem as scientifically sound as Pi. Bad enough we banned it here but we also banned its export. The consequences of pandering to rich White 1st Worlders, goose stepping modern American Liberals all, is that 2,000,000 sub-Saharan Black infants die each year. Do the math. 2,000,000 dead Black babies a year versus maybe, just maybe, some dead killer raptors. As Chamberlain said about the Czechs marked for death “They are a faraway people of whom we know little”. Maybe that’s where Obama got his idea for the soon to be sworn in Death Panels.]
The first great multicultural poet said “A woman’s a woman but a good cigar is a smoke”. For 5 or 6 years, ending in 1985, I would pay $1 each for some cigaros Cubanos. I would buy them at a trunk show, said trunk being owned by a Customs agent stationed at JFK airport. Accompanied by some suitable potables, I and a select group of conspicuous consumers would destroy them one at a time in an environmentally sensitive way. Ah, the days when greed was King!
What caused this outpouring was your snarky reference to lawyers.
My last day with Camels and one of my three Dunhill lighters was October 1, 1989. I smoked one on my way to meet my lawyer. It didn’t taste right. I smoked on in his conference room. It tasted worse. When I turned back to the table after getting a document the lawyer was waving his arms and pointing to his throat. No sound; just arm flapping. He was choking. I Heimlicked him. I saved his life.
#1 – If you hear him yelling he is not choking.
#2 – After you cause him to expel whatever it is that is blocking his air passage, in this case, a chunk of a tuna salad sub, the almost victim is embarrassed.
After I left his office I lighted another cigarette. It was the worst of them all. I tossed it away; I then crumpled the pack and tossed it away. I kept the lighter[s].
I know the last time we tried Prohibition it didn’t work. Haven’t we learned since how to do it better? Look how easy it is to get some documents at the DMV. Doesn’t the Post Office remind you of a Swiss watch? Hell, what with the new people in charge in DC you can actually look forward to a meeting with the IRS. And yes, there is a man in the moon; He is made of bleu cheese. He comes down monthly to the Bermuda Triangle where assorted wing nuts and/or Democrats use Food Stamps to bite him on his pungent ass.
Don’t you think it a bit disingenuous, perhaps even hypocritical, to tax the bejeezus out of tobacco and then rale against it? The fact that Black folk in this country smoke at a higher percentage than any other than any other racial group suggests that a different motive may be in play. Although Black women make up but 6% of the population almost 40% of the abortions performed in this country are done on Black women. The above coupled with the annual culling of 2,000,000 Black children in Africa suggests that Margaret Sanger’s race pronouncements, the ones that were the basis of the Hitler’s 1934 Race Law, may finally be gaining traction.
The other reason I write is because I want to try to clear up an unanswered question from the early glory days of the Clinton administration. It was probably before he began his serious golf cheating and his serial groping. He told us that good people with good intentions focusing on some really good social goals could “Speed the Plow”. Who knows? Maybe the elusive horizon could be reached and wrestled to the ground and the yet undiscovered 99% would be farting through silk.
Alas, the old turd in the punch bowl showed up.
Vince Carter, Big Bill’s lawyer and Hillary’s “special” friend, ate his gun. Bernie Nussbaum, Esq, Carter’s assistant, went to Vince’s office and took out a whole bunch of files. If any of the detectives from “Law & Order” were around he would have been cuffed and read his rights. By the next day he was being called by anonymous White House staffers a “New York lawyer”. In less than a week’s time “New York lawyer” became a verb and then a 4 letter word.
I know if Pat Buchanan had said it the modern American Liberal media would have been Heimlicking each other before their Seal Team 6 kidnapped him and sewed him into a sleeping bag with 6 rutting, rabid wolverines. The shrieks from the network anchors would have had you begging for a large first grade class to sharpen all their fingernails on a blackboard to drown them out.
Here’s my problem.
I am almost positive I Heimlicked a “New York Lawyer”.
Do you think I should keep it on my C.V.?
Get back to me, will you?
And to answer the unasked question, I smoked cigarettes for almost five years after I stopped smoking cigars. I smoked because Hitler didn’t. If I had been alive between August 22, 1939 and June 21, 1941 I would have smoked fags two at a time just to piss off all the modern American Liberals who thought Hitler wasn’t such a bad guy after all.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Gary Stein
The Sun-Sentinel
RE: “Will no one rid us of this noxious weed?” – Some prose on the pro-smoking side of this great moral dilemma.
Big Stein,
Would not Logic dictate that if cranberries could be banned in 1959, if Alar could no longer be used on apples [Thanks to the brilliant testimony of noted research biologist Meryl Streep], if Phisohex could be made a prescription only drug in 1973, and if America swallowed hook, line, and sinker all the ca-ca claptrap posited by Rachel Carson – a charlatan who made Lysenko look like a good scientist – and banned DDT shouldn’t we just ban the sale and use of all tobacco products? If Red Man and snuff and Kools and El Productos and Prince Albert in a can and Blacky Milds do not constitute a clear and present danger then neither does skinny dipping in the reactor pool at Chernobyl.
When has the nanny state, a state populated by card carrying, fire breathing modern American Liberals, ever not responded to an alarm bell as loud as this? It’s almost as if there were an ulterior motive in acquiescing in allowing easily identifiable villains to rape and pillage their victims. Many of the victims are single moms who are women of color. Since the matter of 5th trimester abortions is still off the table perhaps we don’t outlaw smoking because it limits the number of lesser breeds among us. Perhaps not.
[I can’t let the DDT mention go without an additional comment. I saw a 3rd World infant die of malaria. The thermometer did no go high enough to measure its temperature. Its stomach was so distended that it was a terrible task to determine its sex. DDT kills the Anopholes mosquito that carries malaria. It has had no other proven deleterious effects. The witch doctors’ wives’ tales about effected raptors make the accounts about Global Cooling – Remember Paul Ehrlich? – Global Warming and now the neutral term Climate Change seem as scientifically sound as Pi. Bad enough we banned it here but we also banned its export. The consequences of pandering to rich White 1st Worlders, goose stepping modern American Liberals all, is that 2,000,000 sub-Saharan Black infants die each year. Do the math. 2,000,000 dead Black babies a year versus maybe, just maybe, some dead killer raptors. As Chamberlain said about the Czechs marked for death “They are a faraway people of whom we know little”. Maybe that’s where Obama got his idea for the soon to be sworn in Death Panels.]
The first great multicultural poet said “A woman’s a woman but a good cigar is a smoke”. For 5 or 6 years, ending in 1985, I would pay $1 each for some cigaros Cubanos. I would buy them at a trunk show, said trunk being owned by a Customs agent stationed at JFK airport. Accompanied by some suitable potables, I and a select group of conspicuous consumers would destroy them one at a time in an environmentally sensitive way. Ah, the days when greed was King!
What caused this outpouring was your snarky reference to lawyers.
My last day with Camels and one of my three Dunhill lighters was October 1, 1989. I smoked one on my way to meet my lawyer. It didn’t taste right. I smoked on in his conference room. It tasted worse. When I turned back to the table after getting a document the lawyer was waving his arms and pointing to his throat. No sound; just arm flapping. He was choking. I Heimlicked him. I saved his life.
#1 – If you hear him yelling he is not choking.
#2 – After you cause him to expel whatever it is that is blocking his air passage, in this case, a chunk of a tuna salad sub, the almost victim is embarrassed.
After I left his office I lighted another cigarette. It was the worst of them all. I tossed it away; I then crumpled the pack and tossed it away. I kept the lighter[s].
I know the last time we tried Prohibition it didn’t work. Haven’t we learned since how to do it better? Look how easy it is to get some documents at the DMV. Doesn’t the Post Office remind you of a Swiss watch? Hell, what with the new people in charge in DC you can actually look forward to a meeting with the IRS. And yes, there is a man in the moon; He is made of bleu cheese. He comes down monthly to the Bermuda Triangle where assorted wing nuts and/or Democrats use Food Stamps to bite him on his pungent ass.
Don’t you think it a bit disingenuous, perhaps even hypocritical, to tax the bejeezus out of tobacco and then rale against it? The fact that Black folk in this country smoke at a higher percentage than any other than any other racial group suggests that a different motive may be in play. Although Black women make up but 6% of the population almost 40% of the abortions performed in this country are done on Black women. The above coupled with the annual culling of 2,000,000 Black children in Africa suggests that Margaret Sanger’s race pronouncements, the ones that were the basis of the Hitler’s 1934 Race Law, may finally be gaining traction.
The other reason I write is because I want to try to clear up an unanswered question from the early glory days of the Clinton administration. It was probably before he began his serious golf cheating and his serial groping. He told us that good people with good intentions focusing on some really good social goals could “Speed the Plow”. Who knows? Maybe the elusive horizon could be reached and wrestled to the ground and the yet undiscovered 99% would be farting through silk.
Alas, the old turd in the punch bowl showed up.
Vince Carter, Big Bill’s lawyer and Hillary’s “special” friend, ate his gun. Bernie Nussbaum, Esq, Carter’s assistant, went to Vince’s office and took out a whole bunch of files. If any of the detectives from “Law & Order” were around he would have been cuffed and read his rights. By the next day he was being called by anonymous White House staffers a “New York lawyer”. In less than a week’s time “New York lawyer” became a verb and then a 4 letter word.
I know if Pat Buchanan had said it the modern American Liberal media would have been Heimlicking each other before their Seal Team 6 kidnapped him and sewed him into a sleeping bag with 6 rutting, rabid wolverines. The shrieks from the network anchors would have had you begging for a large first grade class to sharpen all their fingernails on a blackboard to drown them out.
Here’s my problem.
I am almost positive I Heimlicked a “New York Lawyer”.
Do you think I should keep it on my C.V.?
Get back to me, will you?
And to answer the unasked question, I smoked cigarettes for almost five years after I stopped smoking cigars. I smoked because Hitler didn’t. If I had been alive between August 22, 1939 and June 21, 1941 I would have smoked fags two at a time just to piss off all the modern American Liberals who thought Hitler wasn’t such a bad guy after all.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Friday, March 9, 2012
Anthony W. Orlando The Sun-Sentinel
March 9, 2012
Anthony W. Orlando
The Sun-Sentinel
200 Las Olas Blvd
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: It’s even money that it would take you more than 3 times to find your ass using both your hands. Some comments on your column in today’s Sun-Sentinel about how Republicans are responsible for fire ants, “the heartbreak of psoriasis”, and the swarms of les Quebecois that overrun this fair land.
My dear Professor,
It would be easy for me to say that you are dumber than a box of hammers…but I won’t. Who am I to suggest that the trustees of 2 distinguished schools erred in granting you degrees?
Since I have decided that I can’t say that you are dumb I can say with 100% metaphysical certitude – the evidence of my own eyes – that there is just so, so much that you don’t know.
Take vocabulary.
You say that Republican homophobic Global Warming deniers “ramped up drilling exponentially”. My dictionary – that’s the big book with words in it – says that “exponential” is better described in geometric terms than mathematical terms. Thus, if non-Republicans drill 100 wells an exponential increase would begin at 25,000.
That didn’t happen, capice?
Next up is the unknown expert source – in your case it is the International Energy Agency – that emulates Alice in Wonderland. Verdict first, then the trial. Incidentally, your “expert” sounds like it is a wholly owned subsidiary of ACORN and is fully funded by SEIU and George Soros.
It announces – cue the thunderbolt, wake up Zeus – that no matter how much oil is discovered it will never be enough. [A hallmark of those afflicted with the curse of modern American Liberalism is the fervent belief that a quart bottle can hold more than 32 ounces, that the horizon can be reached. I hope that never changes.] Thus, should the Great Lakes become giant pools of industrial strength ethanol available free of charge to all people with a photo ID a shout of racism would be raised.
You mention the amount of oil produced in Oklahoma in 1927 as if it were holy writ. As an impeccably credentialed academic you should be aware of nuance and context. Also, you must mention, but don’t, the effect of price on production. By 1932 oil was .10 cents a barrel. Gas was .01 per MCF [MCF? – SASE]
The Governor of Oklahoma dispatched his state’s National Guard to stop producers from selling oil at that price. He said his children’s grandchildren would thank him.
There were 2 reasons for this drop in price.
#1 – The ginormous East Texas oil field was brought in.
#2 – The country entered the economic wasteland presided over by FDR.
Natural gas, one of the fuels most favored by heads up their asses, tree hugging modern American Liberals was $13.00 per MCF less than 3 years ago. Yesterday it was $2.28 per MCF.
I hate to bring facts to this discussion but the reason for the drop has a name: the Marcellus shale.
Here is are two important lessons in Economics. It may well be your Road to Damascus moment.
Ready? Read it twice.
“WHEN EGGS GO TO $5 A DOZEN THE ROOSTER LAYS”
2 things happen when p a commodity jumps in price.
A – The marginal user stops using it.
B – More importantly, new supplies come to the marketplace.
It’s a tie for what modern American Liberals want to save more. Tibet and Whales each has their own constituencies. Once you get past about a billion Chinese the Dalai Lama is home free.
A strong case can be made that oil, dirty and smelly as it is, saved Jonah.
In 1859 a barrel of whale oil was $6. By 1862 it was .50 cents. The only thing similar to the Shovel Ready Summer of Recovery for those unemployed harpooners was the American Civil War.
Thank Colonel Drake for bringing in the first oil well. Titusville, PA. 1859. Perhaps a discrete cry of USA, USA might be in order.
If he had not done it the only memory we would have of whales would have been from the Old Testament and Melville.
You mention that that we have “the lowest Arctic sea ice volume on record”. Record? What record? If you want to know about the Peloponnesian War read Thucydides. If you are into Cicero – the man, not the city – read Plutarch. If English monarchs catch your eye try Shakespeare. I search in vain for the “ice record”.
If the ice is melting in the arctic where is all the water going?
I have lived on the Intercostal for 10 years. I write this not 30 feet from a docked boat. If I head East and make the first turn to Starboard and the second turn to Port I can go to Portugal. I mention this because the height of the water 30 feet from me has not changed in 10 years. This is not to say that it doesn’t rise and fall. It goes up, my dear Professor, and then it goes down. Then it goes up. Up and down. My more nautically inclined neighbors call it the tides. Somehow the moon is involved. I am going to have to study this some more. Once I get on top of it I’ll let you in on it.
Finally, and this is on a more personal note, check your calendar.
You say that Republicans “are beating the war drums on Iran”.
You’ve been so determined to blame the Black Plague, the War for Jenkins Ear, the slaughter of the Kulaks, TV’s “vast wasteland”, and the explosion of Disco and those God-awful leisure suits on the Republicans, particularly those named Bush and specifically their distant relatives League and Burning, that no one told you that a Democrat was elected President. The Democrats also control the Senate. Honest.
I always ask bird brain Eye-Ties why they don’t like Dante.
About 1150 years ago Earth experienced an upward spike in temperature.
See if you can follow this.
Warmer temperatures means that more land becomes arable. [Did you ever wonder how Greenland got its name?] More arable land means that more protein, doubtless all organic, is available for people. People who eat more protein rich foods get smarter and have smarter children. One of the results of this was the Renaissance.
I know you have a problem with Republicans, including Lincoln. Further, I know that you are “halfway through your journey” but you haven’t yet found yourself “filled with error”. Deo volente that you will. Meantime what is your problem with Dante?
Kevin Smith
Anthony W. Orlando
The Sun-Sentinel
200 Las Olas Blvd
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: It’s even money that it would take you more than 3 times to find your ass using both your hands. Some comments on your column in today’s Sun-Sentinel about how Republicans are responsible for fire ants, “the heartbreak of psoriasis”, and the swarms of les Quebecois that overrun this fair land.
My dear Professor,
It would be easy for me to say that you are dumber than a box of hammers…but I won’t. Who am I to suggest that the trustees of 2 distinguished schools erred in granting you degrees?
Since I have decided that I can’t say that you are dumb I can say with 100% metaphysical certitude – the evidence of my own eyes – that there is just so, so much that you don’t know.
Take vocabulary.
You say that Republican homophobic Global Warming deniers “ramped up drilling exponentially”. My dictionary – that’s the big book with words in it – says that “exponential” is better described in geometric terms than mathematical terms. Thus, if non-Republicans drill 100 wells an exponential increase would begin at 25,000.
That didn’t happen, capice?
Next up is the unknown expert source – in your case it is the International Energy Agency – that emulates Alice in Wonderland. Verdict first, then the trial. Incidentally, your “expert” sounds like it is a wholly owned subsidiary of ACORN and is fully funded by SEIU and George Soros.
It announces – cue the thunderbolt, wake up Zeus – that no matter how much oil is discovered it will never be enough. [A hallmark of those afflicted with the curse of modern American Liberalism is the fervent belief that a quart bottle can hold more than 32 ounces, that the horizon can be reached. I hope that never changes.] Thus, should the Great Lakes become giant pools of industrial strength ethanol available free of charge to all people with a photo ID a shout of racism would be raised.
You mention the amount of oil produced in Oklahoma in 1927 as if it were holy writ. As an impeccably credentialed academic you should be aware of nuance and context. Also, you must mention, but don’t, the effect of price on production. By 1932 oil was .10 cents a barrel. Gas was .01 per MCF [MCF? – SASE]
The Governor of Oklahoma dispatched his state’s National Guard to stop producers from selling oil at that price. He said his children’s grandchildren would thank him.
There were 2 reasons for this drop in price.
#1 – The ginormous East Texas oil field was brought in.
#2 – The country entered the economic wasteland presided over by FDR.
Natural gas, one of the fuels most favored by heads up their asses, tree hugging modern American Liberals was $13.00 per MCF less than 3 years ago. Yesterday it was $2.28 per MCF.
I hate to bring facts to this discussion but the reason for the drop has a name: the Marcellus shale.
Here is are two important lessons in Economics. It may well be your Road to Damascus moment.
Ready? Read it twice.
“WHEN EGGS GO TO $5 A DOZEN THE ROOSTER LAYS”
2 things happen when p a commodity jumps in price.
A – The marginal user stops using it.
B – More importantly, new supplies come to the marketplace.
It’s a tie for what modern American Liberals want to save more. Tibet and Whales each has their own constituencies. Once you get past about a billion Chinese the Dalai Lama is home free.
A strong case can be made that oil, dirty and smelly as it is, saved Jonah.
In 1859 a barrel of whale oil was $6. By 1862 it was .50 cents. The only thing similar to the Shovel Ready Summer of Recovery for those unemployed harpooners was the American Civil War.
Thank Colonel Drake for bringing in the first oil well. Titusville, PA. 1859. Perhaps a discrete cry of USA, USA might be in order.
If he had not done it the only memory we would have of whales would have been from the Old Testament and Melville.
You mention that that we have “the lowest Arctic sea ice volume on record”. Record? What record? If you want to know about the Peloponnesian War read Thucydides. If you are into Cicero – the man, not the city – read Plutarch. If English monarchs catch your eye try Shakespeare. I search in vain for the “ice record”.
If the ice is melting in the arctic where is all the water going?
I have lived on the Intercostal for 10 years. I write this not 30 feet from a docked boat. If I head East and make the first turn to Starboard and the second turn to Port I can go to Portugal. I mention this because the height of the water 30 feet from me has not changed in 10 years. This is not to say that it doesn’t rise and fall. It goes up, my dear Professor, and then it goes down. Then it goes up. Up and down. My more nautically inclined neighbors call it the tides. Somehow the moon is involved. I am going to have to study this some more. Once I get on top of it I’ll let you in on it.
Finally, and this is on a more personal note, check your calendar.
You say that Republicans “are beating the war drums on Iran”.
You’ve been so determined to blame the Black Plague, the War for Jenkins Ear, the slaughter of the Kulaks, TV’s “vast wasteland”, and the explosion of Disco and those God-awful leisure suits on the Republicans, particularly those named Bush and specifically their distant relatives League and Burning, that no one told you that a Democrat was elected President. The Democrats also control the Senate. Honest.
I always ask bird brain Eye-Ties why they don’t like Dante.
About 1150 years ago Earth experienced an upward spike in temperature.
See if you can follow this.
Warmer temperatures means that more land becomes arable. [Did you ever wonder how Greenland got its name?] More arable land means that more protein, doubtless all organic, is available for people. People who eat more protein rich foods get smarter and have smarter children. One of the results of this was the Renaissance.
I know you have a problem with Republicans, including Lincoln. Further, I know that you are “halfway through your journey” but you haven’t yet found yourself “filled with error”. Deo volente that you will. Meantime what is your problem with Dante?
Kevin Smith
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Judge Joseph Farina Miami/Dade Court House
March 8, 2012
Judge Joseph Farina
Miami/Dade Court House
73 West Flagler Street
Miami, FL 33130
RE: Some people are genetically inclined to tell the difference between the buttered side and the dry. Some comments on the story about you, your wife, your fellow judges, and why it doesn’t pass the legendary Nechemie “bag test”.
Judge Farina,
Let’s stipulate to several things, shall we?
#1 – Your wife is a wonderful woman. She loves children. She loves pets. She never chooses plastic. She recycles. Drowning polar bears are a great concern to her. She is concerned about GlobalCoolingGlobalWarmingClimateChange. The outrage du jour upsets her. She thinks teachers are underpaid. She never mixes stripes and plaids. She could be a modern day Antigone.
#2 – The legendary Nechemie “bag test” is the only test that the quickly disappearing “Everyman” can respond to. It is deceptively simple. If you are not sure of, forgive me, the ethics of a situation – Let’s leave Aristotle out of this, OK? – you put it in a paper bag. You put the bag in a closet for 24 hours. Open the bag and smell it. Your nose should be infallible. Follow it.
#3 – Your wife, you, your fellow Black robed hypocrites, and all the down the food chain apparatchiks who had to sign off on her deal, a deal that is Homerically rancid, are hypocritical bastards worthy of mention in the next edition of Guinness.
Now to the messy details…
Your wife worked for 30 years in the Miami/Dade court system. She got a higher paying job in the Federal court system. Alas, she was 15 months short of getting her monthly “kiss in the mail”. [Kiss in the mail? Thank you, Howie Carr] would be an annual pension of $42,998. She could take a reduced rate or she could wait until she was 62 to receive the full amount. Ask the woman who mops the john at night what she thinks of those options. People like you give the rest of us 1percenters a bad name.
Who says government is heartless? Not you.
Do you remember when Machiavelli said “The wish of the Prince has the force of law”? You, as a ranking member of the Miami/Dade Courthouse Cabal, “asked” the chief bean counter to put the fix in. You got some of your Black robed buddies to give you cover. One hand washes the other, right? You could be setting a precedent for future Judges to follow. What’s the sense of having “juice” unless you use it? In your case there was no cover of altruism. 42 grand a year, every year, is a great way to get ready for the Rose Bowl.
The deal was simple.
Your wife became a full time Federal employee. At the same time she remained a full time employee of the Miami/Dade court system. Salary wise she was on the clock for one hour a day. She retained the benefit package given to all full time employees.
Crikey, but that smells like I am downwind of the Augean stables before they were cleansed. After all those centuries you still get the dry heaves if you walk past them.
I was born and raised in Bayonne, NJ. That’s on the good end of Hudson County. The county jail was known as the Taj Mahal. The Chief of the Hudson County Police was known as Ali Baba. His badged and armed corsairs were known as the 40 Thieves.
No lactating public mammary was left uncovered. I pass this on to you to show that naïveté is not my strong suit. Still, there was a moral clarity there that is not to be found here. Pity.
It is indeed fitting and proper that the movie “Absence of Malice” has a Miami setting. There is a classic scene in it that fits this occasion.
Wilfred Brimley is the grizzled “lifer” from the Justice Department who does the dirty work. He walks into a room filled with ethically compromised people. Conflicting rights fueled by conflicting interests make for superb drama.
The denouement is simple. At the end of the scene Brimley tells his captive audience, “It may not be illegal but, by God, it’s not right”.
Bingo.
It’s not quite the same as abusing your nephew. It may not be felony but, by God, it’s wrong.
What you are saying is that while all people are equal some people are more equal than others.
You should be driven from your court room by men with whips and snarling hounds. If there is a ship nearby you should be keelhauled.
You are a disgrace to your profession.
I forgot to add that your wife sings in the choir and that she cares deeply, very deeply, about those poor folk in Haiti. She took the advice of Mr. Hinnisy, my favorite publican, when he said. “She saw her opportunities and she took’em”.
Since you raised a stench in the nostrils of honest men and since I see a theft of 380 hours of Federal wages I am sending a copy of this to the United States Attorney and the state Prosecutor. Because you are a Judge and your wife is now a highly paid apparatchik in the Federal system it goes far beyond the bounds of “de minimis non curat Lex”.
It know it’s wrong. It may be illegal. Because you judge the quotidian attempts of citizens to make right angles of the parabolic curve that life is you cannot be thought to be doing something shady and underhanded.
Let’s find out.
“Nothing lost save honor”
Kevin Smith
Judge Joseph Farina
Miami/Dade Court House
73 West Flagler Street
Miami, FL 33130
RE: Some people are genetically inclined to tell the difference between the buttered side and the dry. Some comments on the story about you, your wife, your fellow judges, and why it doesn’t pass the legendary Nechemie “bag test”.
Judge Farina,
Let’s stipulate to several things, shall we?
#1 – Your wife is a wonderful woman. She loves children. She loves pets. She never chooses plastic. She recycles. Drowning polar bears are a great concern to her. She is concerned about GlobalCoolingGlobalWarmingClimateChange. The outrage du jour upsets her. She thinks teachers are underpaid. She never mixes stripes and plaids. She could be a modern day Antigone.
#2 – The legendary Nechemie “bag test” is the only test that the quickly disappearing “Everyman” can respond to. It is deceptively simple. If you are not sure of, forgive me, the ethics of a situation – Let’s leave Aristotle out of this, OK? – you put it in a paper bag. You put the bag in a closet for 24 hours. Open the bag and smell it. Your nose should be infallible. Follow it.
#3 – Your wife, you, your fellow Black robed hypocrites, and all the down the food chain apparatchiks who had to sign off on her deal, a deal that is Homerically rancid, are hypocritical bastards worthy of mention in the next edition of Guinness.
Now to the messy details…
Your wife worked for 30 years in the Miami/Dade court system. She got a higher paying job in the Federal court system. Alas, she was 15 months short of getting her monthly “kiss in the mail”. [Kiss in the mail? Thank you, Howie Carr] would be an annual pension of $42,998. She could take a reduced rate or she could wait until she was 62 to receive the full amount. Ask the woman who mops the john at night what she thinks of those options. People like you give the rest of us 1percenters a bad name.
Who says government is heartless? Not you.
Do you remember when Machiavelli said “The wish of the Prince has the force of law”? You, as a ranking member of the Miami/Dade Courthouse Cabal, “asked” the chief bean counter to put the fix in. You got some of your Black robed buddies to give you cover. One hand washes the other, right? You could be setting a precedent for future Judges to follow. What’s the sense of having “juice” unless you use it? In your case there was no cover of altruism. 42 grand a year, every year, is a great way to get ready for the Rose Bowl.
The deal was simple.
Your wife became a full time Federal employee. At the same time she remained a full time employee of the Miami/Dade court system. Salary wise she was on the clock for one hour a day. She retained the benefit package given to all full time employees.
Crikey, but that smells like I am downwind of the Augean stables before they were cleansed. After all those centuries you still get the dry heaves if you walk past them.
I was born and raised in Bayonne, NJ. That’s on the good end of Hudson County. The county jail was known as the Taj Mahal. The Chief of the Hudson County Police was known as Ali Baba. His badged and armed corsairs were known as the 40 Thieves.
No lactating public mammary was left uncovered. I pass this on to you to show that naïveté is not my strong suit. Still, there was a moral clarity there that is not to be found here. Pity.
It is indeed fitting and proper that the movie “Absence of Malice” has a Miami setting. There is a classic scene in it that fits this occasion.
Wilfred Brimley is the grizzled “lifer” from the Justice Department who does the dirty work. He walks into a room filled with ethically compromised people. Conflicting rights fueled by conflicting interests make for superb drama.
The denouement is simple. At the end of the scene Brimley tells his captive audience, “It may not be illegal but, by God, it’s not right”.
Bingo.
It’s not quite the same as abusing your nephew. It may not be felony but, by God, it’s wrong.
What you are saying is that while all people are equal some people are more equal than others.
You should be driven from your court room by men with whips and snarling hounds. If there is a ship nearby you should be keelhauled.
You are a disgrace to your profession.
I forgot to add that your wife sings in the choir and that she cares deeply, very deeply, about those poor folk in Haiti. She took the advice of Mr. Hinnisy, my favorite publican, when he said. “She saw her opportunities and she took’em”.
Since you raised a stench in the nostrils of honest men and since I see a theft of 380 hours of Federal wages I am sending a copy of this to the United States Attorney and the state Prosecutor. Because you are a Judge and your wife is now a highly paid apparatchik in the Federal system it goes far beyond the bounds of “de minimis non curat Lex”.
It know it’s wrong. It may be illegal. Because you judge the quotidian attempts of citizens to make right angles of the parabolic curve that life is you cannot be thought to be doing something shady and underhanded.
Let’s find out.
“Nothing lost save honor”
Kevin Smith
Leonard Pitts, Jr. The Miami Herald
March 7, 2012
Leonard Pitts, Jr.
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 33132-1693
RE: tu quoque [Look it up] and how non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome enables an adult to conclude that 1 + 1 is either 6, 13, or minus 5. Some comments on your column on how Republicans have committed sins that have not yet been discovered.
Mr. Pitts,
TNUC
Hold it up to a mirror. That’s what Bill Maher, note pundit and sage, called Sarah Palin just before he sent $1,000,000 to Lord Barack the Beneficent.
TULS
Ditto [Got to get a plug in for El Rushbo] with the mirror. That’s what Laura Ingraham, a single mom and a cancer survivor, was called.
I am one of those “syncophantic robots” who likes what Rush Limbaugh says. In fact, I’ve liked him since 1988. 1988, you may recall, was the year that Senator Albert Arnold Gore, Jr. told Democratic primary voters in NYC what an evil dude Willie Horton was and how awful Governor Dukakis was for giving him a weekend furlough. Will I be branded with a Scarlet R for saying that? I hope not. That was the same year that Vice Presidential candidate Lloyd Bentsen had to stop charging people $10,000 to have breakfast with him. For 10 grand I would want to take a long look at that chicken.
I may be dumb but I know how many states are in the Union.
I may be dumb but I know that Austrian is an adjective, not a language.
I may be dumb but I know that the down the memory hole forever “Summer of Recovery”, the one that was air-brushed out like an old Politburo picture after Vasily or Viacheslav was sent to Lubyanka Prison to see if they would be the first to survive a large caliber bullet to the face, was not waylaid by either Global Warming deniers, Vlad Cheney, fears of Willie Horton, or the ghost of Ronald Reagan.
I may be dumb but I know that my favorite Pulitzer Prize winners are Walter Duranty and Janice Cook.
As to the subject of apologies, I suggest the example of the kettle and the pot and their respective color [I can say that without being thought to be a proud member of the Ku Klux Klan, Senator Robert Byrd’s [D-WV] favorite after hour cross burning marching society, can’t I?] is apropos.
The dulcet, irenic tones of closet Nazi Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz [What else can you call a public official who sends two police officers, men with badges and guns, to my house because of something I wrote], Congresswoman Maxine Waters, the House docent for stealing hot stoves, and Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi whose blood type is B for Botox was used at Camp Gitmo to drive WOG thugs mad before it was found to be forbidden by the 8th Amendment. Looping their speeches together would put an end to the controversy about contraception. The voices of these hasty, snarling, howling harridans would de-lead anybody’s pencil. If you are the catcher on the horizontal tango duo you would need 2 quarts of industrial strength WD-40 cum KY Jelly. The No Smoking in Outer Labia sign would definitely be flashing.
If I were to calls these venomous brujas
STNUC
-Don’t forget your mirror-
would you think ill of me?
The prototypical modern American Liberal apology begins with the unctuous mantra “If I have offended anybody…” Logic would dictate that if no one is offended it falls under the category of “no harm, no foul”. I suggest you spend some of your free time – Surely you must come down from your cross of perpetual outrage if for no other reason than to add more thorns to your crown, right? – to learn the difference between malum prohibitum and malum per se.
Wait a minute!
As a card carrying, fire breathing modern American Liberal there is no such thing as “evil”. [OK. OK. An exception must be made for the Koch Brothers and Andrew Breitbart] Whatever “it” is “it” can be cured by improved government programs, said programs fully funded by the richly rotten 1%, and administered by hardened veterans of the immensely successful and greatly missed War on Poverty.
I am shocked, shocked that you think this campaign is over the top nasty. If you had ever read American History you would know that the campaigns of 1800, 1828, and 1876 make this look like a reunion of the Sesame Street regulars.
Even modern American Liberals greatly afflicted by “sycophantic robotism” should be familiar with their country’s campaign roots.
Kevin Smith
Leonard Pitts, Jr.
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 33132-1693
RE: tu quoque [Look it up] and how non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome enables an adult to conclude that 1 + 1 is either 6, 13, or minus 5. Some comments on your column on how Republicans have committed sins that have not yet been discovered.
Mr. Pitts,
TNUC
Hold it up to a mirror. That’s what Bill Maher, note pundit and sage, called Sarah Palin just before he sent $1,000,000 to Lord Barack the Beneficent.
TULS
Ditto [Got to get a plug in for El Rushbo] with the mirror. That’s what Laura Ingraham, a single mom and a cancer survivor, was called.
I am one of those “syncophantic robots” who likes what Rush Limbaugh says. In fact, I’ve liked him since 1988. 1988, you may recall, was the year that Senator Albert Arnold Gore, Jr. told Democratic primary voters in NYC what an evil dude Willie Horton was and how awful Governor Dukakis was for giving him a weekend furlough. Will I be branded with a Scarlet R for saying that? I hope not. That was the same year that Vice Presidential candidate Lloyd Bentsen had to stop charging people $10,000 to have breakfast with him. For 10 grand I would want to take a long look at that chicken.
I may be dumb but I know how many states are in the Union.
I may be dumb but I know that Austrian is an adjective, not a language.
I may be dumb but I know that the down the memory hole forever “Summer of Recovery”, the one that was air-brushed out like an old Politburo picture after Vasily or Viacheslav was sent to Lubyanka Prison to see if they would be the first to survive a large caliber bullet to the face, was not waylaid by either Global Warming deniers, Vlad Cheney, fears of Willie Horton, or the ghost of Ronald Reagan.
I may be dumb but I know that my favorite Pulitzer Prize winners are Walter Duranty and Janice Cook.
As to the subject of apologies, I suggest the example of the kettle and the pot and their respective color [I can say that without being thought to be a proud member of the Ku Klux Klan, Senator Robert Byrd’s [D-WV] favorite after hour cross burning marching society, can’t I?] is apropos.
The dulcet, irenic tones of closet Nazi Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz [What else can you call a public official who sends two police officers, men with badges and guns, to my house because of something I wrote], Congresswoman Maxine Waters, the House docent for stealing hot stoves, and Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi whose blood type is B for Botox was used at Camp Gitmo to drive WOG thugs mad before it was found to be forbidden by the 8th Amendment. Looping their speeches together would put an end to the controversy about contraception. The voices of these hasty, snarling, howling harridans would de-lead anybody’s pencil. If you are the catcher on the horizontal tango duo you would need 2 quarts of industrial strength WD-40 cum KY Jelly. The No Smoking in Outer Labia sign would definitely be flashing.
If I were to calls these venomous brujas
STNUC
-Don’t forget your mirror-
would you think ill of me?
The prototypical modern American Liberal apology begins with the unctuous mantra “If I have offended anybody…” Logic would dictate that if no one is offended it falls under the category of “no harm, no foul”. I suggest you spend some of your free time – Surely you must come down from your cross of perpetual outrage if for no other reason than to add more thorns to your crown, right? – to learn the difference between malum prohibitum and malum per se.
Wait a minute!
As a card carrying, fire breathing modern American Liberal there is no such thing as “evil”. [OK. OK. An exception must be made for the Koch Brothers and Andrew Breitbart] Whatever “it” is “it” can be cured by improved government programs, said programs fully funded by the richly rotten 1%, and administered by hardened veterans of the immensely successful and greatly missed War on Poverty.
I am shocked, shocked that you think this campaign is over the top nasty. If you had ever read American History you would know that the campaigns of 1800, 1828, and 1876 make this look like a reunion of the Sesame Street regulars.
Even modern American Liberals greatly afflicted by “sycophantic robotism” should be familiar with their country’s campaign roots.
Kevin Smith
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