July 8, 2015

Gary Stein

The Sun Sentinel

RE: Fill me in, please

Big Stein,

“When I was sick and lay abed” a lot of things happened.

Since Professor Steven Goldstein has either been captured by Ethiopian pirates or did not share my good fortune in dealing with the ObamaCare Death Panels, the mantle of canary in the coal mine, card carrying, fire breathing face of modern American Liberalism has fallen on you. It is not known if an environmental impact statement was filed but that’s OK. MALs don’t have much use for the law.

Since you conflate correlation with causation – It sure as Hell beats thinking doesn’t it? – and since Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc is, along with 4^th and 5^th  trimester abortions and maybe Bernie Sanders is out where the regular buses don’t run but it will make Hillary come to like Castro and Chavez so it must be good I turn to you for some answers.

These questions are asked in the spirit of comity and good will. Honest.

#1 – What happened in Iraq? Didn’t the President tell us in 2012 that we were leaving it a “secure country on the road to democracy”?

` #2 – Is ISIS still the JV squad or have they made it to the varsity?

#3 - When will the Summer of Recovery get here? Before Winter? Ever?

#4 – A melanin challenged loon killed 9 Black people in Charleston. He likes the Confederate flag. Naturally the mush brained media said that the flag made him do it. [Correlation and causation, remember?] There were 83 separate shooting incidents in Chicago this weekend with14 deaths. I am going to go out on a limb here but there were no White victims nor were there White shooters. Did the Confederate flag cause this? If so, how?

#5 – An undocumented Mexican illegal alien, 5 times deported and 4 times returning, shot a non-Black woman to death in San Francisco. Any flag involvement there? Was he basking in Alamo pride? Doesn’t this prove that Trump was right and probably should be President?

#6 – If 2 Muslim twin brothers want to get married in a mosque will the Imam have to or go to jail?

#7 – If a Lubavitcher shul refuses to rent me space in their parking lot to sell my pulled pork sandwiches on Shabos – The lot should be empty, right? – can a Judge force them?

#8 – Emmis truth time – Wouldn’t you really, I mean really, really like to see Hillary Clinton and Chris Christie do a few turns of Swan Lake or, at least, a Fred and Ginger look-back? I would. The two of them have enough wasted waist suet to keep the fires in Haiti burning for a week.

#9 – How is that “calm the oceans, cool the earth” bullshit coming along? It’s more than 6 years, amigo.

I am looking forward to getting the official party line.

I am 2 weeks late but won’t you join me in toasting the executions of the Rosenbergs? Don’t you think there should be a 24 hour armed guard – bayonets pointing in – at their graves lest those scroyles sneak out one dark and stormy night and do yet more harm to the Republic?

      

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

#10 – Was Alger Hiss guilty or was he railroaded by Nixon?

#11 – Why were the Kennedy tax cuts good but the Bush tax cuts bad?

#12 – Speaking of tax cuts, how do you give a tax cut to someone with no income?

#13 – The Duke Lacrosse team really did it, didn’t they?

#14 – Walmart became evil after Hillary Clinton resigned from the Board, right?

#15 - The thought of Dukakis as President made the USSR tear down the Wall, right?

#16 - Eliminate bus and train fares to save the planet.

#17 – Was Greece the victim of predatory lenders?

#18 – Guilt free crème brulee.

#19 – Scoreless ties in all games, except women’s soccer. 

#20– Yes we can reach the horizon…Maybe at the end of Chelsea’s 2^nd term.

On the other hand…

“Of all the things that men endure how few

Laws or kings can cause or cure.”

July 5, 2015

Gary Stein

The Sun Sentinel 

RE: Fiat lux – Some comments on your column in today’s Sun Sentinel

Big Stein,

It took all my skill and cunning, traits whetted and honed after decades of listening to the vipers slithering in  the covens of modern American Liberalism as they offend Logic, decimate critical thinking and reasoned discourse, poltroonish trolls all, who know that raising both taxes and the minimum wage is the time tested way to make the rich  poorer so the poor can be made richer – Way to go, Bernie! – to avoid the nefarious ObamaCare Death Panels this past month.

Having done so I feel fit to re-enter the arena in the never ending culture wars secure in the knowledge that in my absence B. Hussein Obama is still the best President we have, that Hillary Clinton, she of the exponentially expanding steatyagenous midsection – Is it true she uses WD40 to get into her pastel colored, reporter avoiding mumu? Oliver Hardy, Jackie Gleason, and Alfred Hitchcock, not Sir Edmund Hillary, were her childhood idols, no – is fully flummoxed by a functioning fax machine, and that Justice Clarence Thomas is, according to George Takei, nee Sulu of Star Trek, a “black faced buffoon”. 

Some things never change.

Yet there is one thing I must thank you for.

In your column in today’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel you solved, of course unwittingly, a problem of semantics.

As Broward County’s leading scrivener of ideological biliousness, AKA the interchangeable ukases and fiats of modern American Liberalism and its butt-boy butt- girl, the Democratic Party, you say that anyone opposed to abortion is “pro-life”.

If opposition to abortion makes one “pro-life” would not Logic dictate that “pro-death” must apply to all those in favor of abortion? [You may want to have Little Stein, your college student son, see if he can get his hands on a dog-eared copy of the Trivium, particularly the part covering Logic, for you.]

Sometimes a blind squirrel can find an acorn.

If you are opposed to abortion Big Stein, the man behind the curtain, proclaims that you are “pro-life”.

If you are in favor of Doctor Mengele, and you must know that he would win any Democratic primary he ran in in Broward County because of his progressive views on women’s reproductive rights, you are, according to Big Stein, “pro-death”.

Thanks for clearing that up. 

Bumper stickers coming soon.

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

June 20, 2015

Revealing the heretofore unknown Alexander Hamilton/Wichita connection

If it weren’t for the G/H alphabet connection this story would be fiction. Mike Garrett sat next to Rod Hatter when they both were at Columbia Law School. That they were, and grant me the freedom to condense and straight line a lot of stuff, is how I got to know Wichita, 3 and ½ years of it.

Mike Garrett to Rod Hatter to Bob Foulston to Jordan Haines to Alexander Hamilton.

Bob Foulston was a class act. He was the founder and managing partner of Foulston, Powers, Seifkin, Powers & Eberhardt in Wichita, KS. He introduced me to Jordan Haines, the Chairman of the Board of the 4^th National Bank of Wichita.

Skip over the somewhat inartful name of the bank. He and it were big players in the mid-1970s American banking scene. Beyond that, the lobby of the HQ was adorned by Alexander Calder mobiles. Calder, another distinguished alumnus of Stevens Institute in Hoboken, and several bib-overalled farmers with 3000 acres of wheat under cultivation made for an unforgettable tableau of American exceptionalism. [The world is upside down when we, still waiting for the Godot of a never arriving Summer of Recovery, can look back on the 1970s as the “good old days”.]

Jordan Haines showed me the board room where corporate things got done.

I asked what the 3 foot high marble stands were for.

Olive Beech, she of the Beech Aircraft Company, was both a member of the Bank’s board and a serial cigar smoker. Small, thin, somewhat petite, definitely not androgynous – I speak both of her and her smokes – liked to wander around the room. To accommodate her, several ashtrays were strategically placed. She apparently liked to dispose of revolutionary Cuban cigarillos in an environmentally sensitive way, one at a time. The evidence of contraband went, so to speak, up in smoke.

She liked to say that she was descended 3 times out from Alexander Hamilton.

She called him an “octaroon bastard” and would ask what that would make her.

Hamilton, co-author of the Federalist Papers, Secretary of the Treasury, founder of the Bank of New York and the New York Post, a man who got a battlefield commission from George Washington, is about to get his mostly White ass booted off the $10 dollar bill so some broad can get her mug on it.

Oprah? Margaret Sanger? Madonna? Margaret Mead? Lady Macbeth? Secretariat’s mom? Goneril or Regan? Any surviving alumnae of the Boko Harum School of Lady-like conduct? Aunt Jemima? Antigone? Margaret Thatcher?

There is a passing strange sense of absurdity that is beyond, almost, comment.

If we have to put a broad on the $10 dollar bill why not Olive Beech?

What glass ceiling? She went through it like a bat out Hell. She was Jack Welch before he was.

Why not knock Jefferson off the $2 dollar bill? Replace him with Caitlin Jenner, nee Bruce Jenner, and raise the value to adjust for inflation. America’s first $3 dollar bill.

A symbol of how far we’ve come as a nation.

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

June 15, 2015

Leonard Pitts, Jr

The Miami Herald

3511 NW 91^st Avenue

Miami, FL33172

RE: Justice Scalia, Justice Marshall, “eclectic indignation”, moral relativism, and the cognitively dissonant upside down world of those water carriers for modern American Liberalism as outlined by you in Sunday’s Miami Herald.

Mr. Pitts, 

Whenever I think of Pulitzer Prizes I think of Walter Duranty, I think of Janet Cook, and then I think of you.

I have been reading your column for a very long time. It is painfully obvious, indeed empirically self-evident, that you have but one tool, said tool being an ink powered 9 pound hammer. Since I have swung the real one in 3 different countries it is a tool that I respect. Alas, you aim your tool at only one thing. Race is the nail that you aim at. Everything looks like a nail.

Your Sunday Herald column takes Justice Scalia to task for his sang-froid attitude toward capital punishment. You cited his opinion as proof of your position in the flawed process of appealing a death penalty sentence.

2 things leap to mind.

#1 – How a Black columnist, a Pulitzer Prize winner to boot, can criticize a White Justice for callousness about the death penalty without mentioning Ricky Ray Rector is beyond me, it is beyond the pale, and it is beyond contempt.

Ricky Ray Rector is a name consigned to the memory hole. He was a murdering feral Black thug who was easily the moral equal of Willie Horton.

Willie Horton was a murdering Back rapist who was convicted and sentenced to life imprisonment in Massachusetts. He was furloughed by Governor Michael Dukakis for a bit of New England R&R. Instead he went to Maryland where, and can you believe it, he raped and murdered again. I mention him because it is Holy Writ in the Canons of Modern American Liberalism that George Bush used it to scare White voters into electing him as President. Just like alligators in the NYC sewers, flying saucers, and the not yet arriving Summer of Recovery, it just ain’t true. It was Senator Albert Arnold Gore, Jr. who used it repeatedly in the Democratic Presidential Primary in NYC in March/April, 1987. He lost but he went on to fame and fabulous 1% fortune as Vice President Alpha Gump. He is still pissed off because the ruptured ozone layer refuses to fall into the Rose Bowl at halftime. 

Say what you will about the Salem witch trials it’s been more than 300 years since Massachusetts has been bothered by demonic succubae. If Massachusetts had strapped 2 dozen 12 volt batteries to any and all of Willie Boy’s offending appendages the first time there wouldn’t have been a second time.

But I digress.

Ricky Ray Rector was cornered by the cops and started a “Made it Ma. Top of the world!” moment. Facing capture he decided to blow his brains out. Since the goals of Affirmative Action do not yet apply to suicide it must be reported that he only blew out half his brains. He became an “amiable dunce”, a term most beloved of modern American Liberals. Vide Clark Clifford.

That he was about as aware of his surroundings as a bowl of mustard greens awaiting the pot didn’t stop the state of Arkansas from indicting him for murder, trying him for murder, convicting him of murder, and sentencing him to death in the electric chair for said heinous crimes.

You don’t have to be a “Constitutional scholar” to know that there are 2 fatal flaws in the due process of the trial, the conviction, and the subsequent execution of a Black man with an IQ of less than 60. They are:

#1 – He was incapable of understanding the charges against him.

#2 – In no way could he assist in his defense.

My copy of the Constitution covers the above quite nicely in the 5^th and 6^th Amendments. Look them up.

Today is the 800^th anniversary of the Magna Carta. It is remembered because it was the first time that government agreed to be bound by its citizens. The “wish of the Prince” did not always have the force of Law.

Ricky Ray Rector became the darling of the Death Row guards. His sweet nature, his good manners, and the total absence of whining were the reasons.

The first 2 were caused by his own hand.

The 3^rd was because he was incapable of understanding what was behind the door at the end of the long corridor.

Appeals to the Governor were ignored because said Governor wanted to prove to the country that a Democratic Governor could be tough on crime. Ricky Ray Rector drew the ultimate short straw.

He didn’t finish the dessert portion of his last meal because he wanted to save some for when he returned. A guard told him to finish it because he was going to be gone for a long time.

There is a marvelous apocryphal story about the Governor’s wife volunteering to give him a lap dance in the chair should he become unruly. The thought of it is sufficient to invoke the 8^th Amendment. If it isn’t true it should be.

You’ve probably guessed by now that the Governor was Handsome Billy Clinton from Hot Springs, the King of the one-eyed trouser snakes and the calculating ux was Hillary the Queen of all vipers. Too bad Kipling wasn’t around.

As to Justice Marshall…

Let us stipulate that he was the best trial lawyer to serve on the Supreme Court in the 20^th century. That makes what he did as a Justice all the more painful.

A vote in favor of Roe was a vote in favor of abortion.

Since 1973 there have been some 65,000,000 abortions. Between 35% and 40% of them have been done on Black women who make up about 6% of the population. If we are to believe government statistics the Black men required for conception were nowhere to be found after the post-coital cigarette. Perhaps as many as 25,000,000 Black babies – a future Thomas Sowell? A future Michelle Obama? – were last seen circling the abattoir’s drain.

In 1000 millennia all the racist White cops in this country could never approach that number.

Justice Marshall wrote in his opinion that abortion was good for Black folk because it mean that they would not have to grow up in Amerika.

Somewhere Margaret Sanger is smiling. As the prime source for the 1934 Nuremberg Race Laws she was always advocating getting rid of undesirable. She is smiling because the herd is busy culling itself.

There is a classic scene in the Seinfeld episode where George Costanza, the paragon of both personal conduct and public policy, tramples a few wheelchair-bound senior citizens and a bunch of preschoolers to avoid a kitchen fire.

The fireman says, “How can you live with yourself”?

“It’s hard”, he says.

I’ll end on an up note.

Bruce/Caitlin Jenner and now Rachel Donegal have inspired me to make a fundamental change in my life.

I’ve decided to change my ethnic and racial makeup.

Both my parents, all of my grandparents and great grandparents, as far back as anyone can see, were Irish. I’ll not mention any pigs but it is impossible to be anymore Irish than I am. 

It is approaching wretched excess.

I have decided to stay 60% Irish. I now declare myself 35% Italian. The balance is to be distributed evenly between being Jewish, being Polish/Lithuanian, being Ibo/Zulu, and being Chiricahua Apache. [I once named a cat Sharpton in honor of you know who. The next feline will be called Cochise]

I am investigating what Federal resources will be available to me. I will share these – for a small fee – with anyone looking to jump into the diverse Rainbow stew pot.

Can I count on you to be a sponsor?

Kevin Smith 

June 14, 2015

Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz

10100 Pembroke Pines Boulevard

Pembroke Pines, FL 33025

RE: “I know that my Redeemer liveth” – Some comments on your typical modern American Liberal verbal incontinence concerning Jeb Bush.

Debbie, Debbie,

“Former Governor Jeb bush ‘only cares about

himself,’ Wasserman-Schultz said. ‘He never has

and never will fight for families like yours or mine.’

She said Democrats would help introduce Bush to the

nation and ‘the more people learn about Jeb Bush,

and we’ll be happy to point it out, the less people 

are going to like him.’”

The Sun Sentinel

Page 2B

Today

You

I was feeling downcast this morning. 

I thought I’d be arm wrestling with the old ennui, particularly after losing 2 baby manatees from my traps. I figured I would have to pay retail for my sushi. I donned last year’s Father’s Day present, my PROUD GLOBAL WARMER cap, and turned to my Koch Brothers guide to increasing my Carbon Footprint and drowning a few polar bears before doing my best to add to income inequality – How you put up with being paid 78% of what Congressman Alcee Hastings, Florida’s favorite elected felon, makes is beyond me – teenage obesity, and what to make of someone who is transgendered becoming a cross dresser.

But then you came along, with your perpetual Medusa-like countenance, to buttress the universal truth that modern American Liberals, vipers such as you, piss, perpetually, on people’s backs while telling them, accompanied either by Happy Days are Here Again or Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow, that it’s rain

To which I say…BULLSHIT!

You imply that your kids would have qualified for free lunches – assuming they had gone to any of the really fine public schools in Broward County – and that you work 3 days a week on your telephone playing the pitcher on the 1-800-RammingSpeed hot line.

Despite claiming to have 2 degrees your CV says that you have never worked a day in your life. It appears that you had tuition bills of $75,000 a year when your kids went to a private grammar school. Your husband is an officer and director of a bank that would not pass the famous “bag test” save for there being a corrupt Justice department. He gives crony capitalism a bad name.

I hold no brief for Jeb Bush. On the other hand anyone who grew up in Midland, Texas can’t be all bad. [I came to know Midland 4 decades ago when I was busy fracking wells out there. It, like Bayonne, is a good town to be from.] Yet you say that “the more people know about Jeb the less people will dislike him”.

If I were to mention Orwell would you think me an elitist?

He said that if you control the past you control the future.

If memory serves, and Deo Gratias for Google, wasn’t Jeb Bush elected and then re-elected as the Governor of Florida. 

Maybe they won’t like him in Gramercy Park or Zabar’s but they sure as Hell liked him in Florida.

Since it appears that this year’s Summer of Recovery will be late perhaps you can spend the time retroactively unelecting him.

You believed that free speech was reserved for you, remember?

I’ll check in from time to time.

Kevin Smith

PS – Should Kipling, the first multi-cultural Nobel Prize winning poet, reappear he would use you as a model for the updated Rikki-Tikki-Tavi stories. Guess which part you would have? Give up? Send a SASE.

 

June 14, 2015

Hillary Clinton

Ready PAC

PO Box 7705

McLean, VA 22106

RE: FDR as a role model”

You have the persistency of a stopped watch being right twice a day.

You spoke glowingly, almost tumescently, of the “vision” of Franklin Roosevelt and how it was updated, “reset” if you will, by Chicago’s most successful community organizer, the former Barry Soetoro.

Didn’t you use to channel Eleanor Roosevelt when you were in the White House?

The one thing you had in common was a never ending bimbo eruption with both of you wondering which bird was in the Oval Office for, as the Brits say, “a bit of a gobble”.

He was long dead before his afternoon horizontal tango sessions, and from a wheel chair no less, became known. Handsome Billy from Hot Springs got caught. Since he would hump a snake if someone held its head the American Disabilities Act could have forgiven him for being a serial philanderer and a perjurer.

But I digress.

Are you speaking of Roosevelt’s domestic agenda or his foreign policy?

#1 – Any and all objective standards, things such as total employment, total unemployment, bankruptcies, patents issued, businesses started, profits, dividends, taxes collected – God’s Holy Trousers but the list is endless! – scream that 6 years into the New Deal everything, no exceptions, everything was down from when he was inaugurated. The trend lines were all down, down, and down. A strong case could be made for the Depression beginning to end when Boeing went to 3 shifts at its Wichita B-17 plant.

Look it up.

#2 – Franklin Roosevelt sent 900 German Jews to the Nazi gulag, to the gas showers and then to the ovens when he refused to let the steam ship Saint Louis land at an American port.

How can you top that?

I’m not sure but, given the chance, you will, you will.

Do you know where Barry left the red paint? He used it to draw a line in the sand, remember? How’s that working out?

“We have had to choose between war and shame.

We have chosen shame; we will get war.”

I’ll check in from time to time to see how you are doing.

Your pal,

Kevin Smith

Tomorrow is Bloomsday and, yes, you can celebrate with either Molly, yes, or Buck

June 4, 1942  -  June 4, 2015

Let us now praise valiant men, particularly those still on patrol.

Salamis – 480

Lepanto – 1571

The Armada – 1588

Trafalgar – 1805

When a naval battle is over there is usually no trace of its ferocity and its carnage. The sea yawns, swallows the dead, and goes about its business. The thing about naval battles, big ones, is that flags change or, more importantly, don’t change.

In each of the above mentioned battles an outnumbered defender stopped a mighty power from imposing its will on those it was defending. 

The Battle of Midway is the greatest day in the History of the United States Navy. Roosevelt was “lucky” he sent Nimitz to Pearl Harbor with a simple set of instructions: Don’t come home until you have won. Nimitz was “lucky” his 2 Admirals – Spruance and Fletcher – though polar opposites in everything else, complemented each other perfectly that day. America was “lucky” to have had men who lived up to the words

“And how can man die better 

Than facing fearful odds

For the ashes of his father 

And the temple of his Gods”

Anchors Aweigh!

KS

“Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained

him through temporary periods of joy.”

William Butler Yeats

May 30, 2015

Judge K. Michael Moore

400 North Miami Avenue

Miami, FL 33128

It is my intention to celebrate the freedoms that are ours at birth – a “gift from beyond the stars”, if you will – and enumerated in our Constitution on July 4, 2015. I can think of no better place to do this than on the steps of the Federal Courthouse in Ft. Lauderdale.

We can also celebrate the 800^th anniversary of Magna Carta. The marker set down there, that men can limit what a government can do, was enshrined in our Constitution. If we don’t exercise our freedoms we risk losing them through atrophy. If we are afraid to speak for fear of offending others we have done the work of the statist thugs who would enslave us

Subject to last minute changes the demonstration of freedom – “Free men speak with free tongues”, no? -  will consist of the burning of an American flag in which is wrapped a Bible and a Koran. Several containers of pig piss, Kosher if possible, will be nearby should the fire get out of control.

As Chief Federal Judge of the Southern District of Florida I would be honored to have you in attendance.

Kevin Smith

May 30, 2015

Judge Peter Weinstein

201 SE 6^th Street

Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301

Judge Weinstein,

It is my intention to celebrate the freedoms that are ours at birth – gifts “from beyond the stars”, if you will – and enumerated in our Constitution on July 4^th, 2015 I can think of no better place to do this than the steps of the Courthouse in Fort Lauderdale, FL.

We can also celebrate the 800^th anniversary of the Magna Carta. That there is a straight line from that document to our Constitution is Historically self-evident. The precedent of limiting government must be preserved, protected, and expanded. Either we bind governments by the chains of law or we will be bound by it.

Final details have not been worked out but it will be some combination of an American flag, a Bible, and a Koran. I will wrap the last two – sacred, secular, or profane – in the flag and then set them ablaze. I will have a gallon of pig piss, Kosher if possible, nearby should the fire get out of control.

I would be honored to have you as the Chief Judge of the 17^th Judicial District of Florida join me on the steps to proclaim freedom throughout the land.

Kevin Smith

May 31, 2015

Senator Bernie Sanders

357 Western Avenue – 1B

St. Johnsbury, VT 05819

RE: My Mom was right!

Senator Sanders, 

“If you keep your mouth shut people might think you are a fool. If you open it there will be no doubt.”

Your public opposition to the perverse mendacity of multiple choices in deodorant and sneakers is breathtaking. On its face it has earned you permanent status as 

HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK.

You also qualify for the second of my 3 awards. I hereby declare you

POMPOUS FART OF THE MONTH.

You got this much sought after honor the old fashioned way: You earned it!

Anyone who can stand in front of a national TV audience and tell them that they are stupid and selfish is further proof that if you trend-line any or all of the basic tenets of the dreaded modern American Liberalism hugely addictive venom you are on the one way express to a Wasteland filled with the remains of the victims of  Lenin, Stalin, Mussolini, Hitler, Mao, Peron, Castro, Pol Pot, Chavez, inter alia.

What is the thread that binds these murderers, these comic nit-wits, these feral destroyers of dreams? They all suffer from the Fatal Conceit of knowing and believing that they and they alone possess more knowledge then all the untermenschen they rule.

Free men making free decisions, based on what they believe to be in their best rational self-interest, is like sunlight to a vampire. 

Orwell told us that “the solid world exists. Its laws do not change. Stones are hard, water is wet…if that is granted all else follows”.

Welcome to the alternative universe of Senator Sanders! It is a world where the rules governing gravity are subject to change annually. If the Congress won’t go along you can always use your phone and your pen as President B.O. does.

“Midnight Basketball”, Solyndra, “reset” foreign relations, blaming White cops when Black people kill other Black people….and you pick deodorant and sneakers to start your campaign?

God’s Holy Trousers but you are Brobdanaglianly dumb.

I did not give you my most coveted award. I did not name you

SMARMY BASTARD OF THE YEAR

because you obviously believe all the Jabberwocky jackassery you spew. 

Do you remember back in the early ‘70s when the biggest problem we faced was Global Cooling? A really smart guy, Professor Paul R. Ehrlich, told us that we were all going to die, either by starvation or by freezing, by the year 2000? I report to you that my A/C is on and I am still calorically challenged. One of my favorite past times was to release a healthy dollop of Right Guard deodorant out my bath room window after my AM ablutions. After 45 years it is time to admit that I was wrong. That feels good.

Do you think the President was correct when he told the graduating class of the United States Coast Guard Academy that Climate Change was the biggest threat facing the country?

Of course you do.

Your solution is simple and direct. And it goes without saying, which is why it must be said, that is wrong. Your head is so far up your ass that you could trim your nose hair from the inside. 

Whatever the problem the solution is the same. 

Increase taxes exponentially in the desire to make the rich poor. That way you can make the poor rich enough to fart through silk. And everybody in the country, whether they are here legally or illegally, gets a quart of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream – Do you think they have too many flavors? – plus free college and a machine that turns rain water into beer. A machine that makes $20 dollar bills will be ready before the beginning of your second term. Honest

A special tax on the Koch Brothers will easily pay for this. 

I look forward to following your campaign with much amusement, you boob.

Kevin Smith

May 25, 1945 – May 25, 2015

He died quick and he died clean. It probably was a Japanese Type 98 mortar that took the upper right quadrant  of his torso off. 

They shall not grow old, as we that are left grow old:

Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.

At the going down of the sun and in the morning

We will remember them.

Laurence Binyon

I never met him. I was not even 2 when he was killed. I knew his wife for less than 2 years before she died. Inter alia, there was large box that came with some old furniture and some cutlery that I still use. The scroll hangs on my wall.

There was also a scroll signed by the President of the United States and a picture of a simple grave marker.

He stands in the unbroken line of patriots

Who have dared to die that freedom might live, 

And grow, and increase its blessings.

FREEDOM LIVES, AND THROUGH IT HE LIVES-

In a way that humbles the undertakings of most men.

Harry S. Truman

The grave marker reads:

Leonard W. Putnam

New Jersey

CPL US ARMY

World War 11

Nov 12, 1902   May 25, 1945

Raise a glass and offer a prayer to the memory of a 42 year old piano salesman 

“Why us, Sarge? Why us?

Because we’re here lad. Because we’re here.”

KS

May 25, 2015

Letter to the Editors

The Miami Herald

3511 NW 91^stAvenue

Miami, FL 33172

RE: Same sex referenda as proof that “eclectic indignation” still lives and prospers at World HQ of the Miami Herald.

Sirs,

62% of the Irish electorate voted to approve same sex marriage for which modern American Liberals have become positively tumescent.

62% of the Florida electorate voted to oppose same sex marriage for which modern American Liberals becomes positively apoplectic.

Vox populi is a 2-edged sword, isn’t it?

Swift and Joyce are stifling guffaws and Wilde and Behan still don’t approve of marriage, any kind of marriage.

Ireland is still “the land of happy wars and sad love songs”.

Kevin Smith

May 13, 2015

Cardinal Oscar Rodriguez Maradiaga

The Vatican

Rome, Italy

RE: The weather and why Vivaldi is still the gold standard when it comes to climate change

Eminenza,

Mater si. Magistra no.

I thought of using Dante as my guide and begin by saying “Because your ass is wrapped in purple it doesn’t make you a maven”. 

Ignorance, both invincible and its ugly twin, vincible, has plagued Western man long before Ptolemy ruled the world of Astronomy. I daresay that there are more than a few gaps in your otherwise astonishing academic background.

The scientific method and reasoned discourse are more than just old chapters in the History of civilization.

The Trivium is the crown jewel, not just of critical thinking, but of man’s quest to ask where am I from and where am I going. Logic is the capstone of it. Two of its bedrock rules are still both valid and truthful.

One of the first rules of logic is that no matter how many particulars you have you can’t make a universal out of them. If a bearded man who sings in the choir is also a murderer it doesn’t make all hirsute top tenors killers. The other, Hoc Post Ergo, Propter Hoc is the centuries old “trap set by knaves for fools”.

“After this, because of this” is a facile substitute for thinking. It is as if the Devil himself offers Man the forbidden apple of mental sloth. Its hand maiden, tautologies, condemn Man to the circular reasoning that goes nowhere.

My country had a President in 1998 who told a national TV audience that it was very hot in Washington, DC in August. He then said it was hot because of Global Warming. Further, he said with no hint of sarcasm or wit, that Global Warming was caused by hot summer days in Washington, DC. [I have been in DC in August. There are 3 kinds of weather. #1 – Very hot - #2 – Unbelievably unbearably hot - #3 – A heat that Dante would have been intimately familiar with because of his journey when “halfway through his journey he found himself in the dark wood of error”.

How simple it is to substitute feelings for ideas!

Your bosh balderdash on politics and the economy make your gibberish on  science seem majestic.

If I may be so bold as to posit a thought on why you and the Holy Father think, when it comes to our daily bread, that rocks are not hard and water is not wet.

You are both from a culture that has no regard of the Rule of Law and for the acquisition and disposal of real property. Thus it is easy to believe that since the “fix” is always favoring the rich that if good people who care for the poor are in control all will come right in the end. At least Peron gave us some good soccer players

It has never happened. It never will.

More than 50 years after Los Hermanos Castro took over Cuba it still has 3 unsolvable problems: Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. As my friend, the legendary Big Mike form Bayonne, always say, “That’s why you never see anybody swimming TO  Cuba”.

Do you favor the traditional Bulgarian method of economic reform or the gravity defying nonsense of Hugo Chavez? God surely has a sense of mirth in that He has allowed Maduro to succeed him. If you find a bigger buffoonish ohmadahn in charge anywhere else let me know. 

If you swim to get out of Venezuela the first place is Cuba. If the tiburones don’t get you the Castros will. Worse than Hobson’s choice.

“The problem with Capitalism is Capitalists. The problem with Socialism is Socialism.” On a more moral note – if that is still permitted – “The trouble with Socialism is that it is an attempt to make a system so perfect that on one will have to be good”.

The subject of GlobalCoolingGlobalWarmingClimateChangeClimateDestruction requires a passionate preacher for whom truth is the first casualty. It also demands a choir filled with equally passionate willing disbelievers of self-evident fact.

When the Pope prepares his encyclical about the weather please remind him that it took a long time to get over the Galileo fracas. Meantime, Ego te absolvo 

Kevin Smith

St. Mary’s Grammar School – 1957

Marist High School – 1961

Seton Hall University - 1965

May 10, 2015

Mitchell Berger, Esq.

350 E Las Olas Blvd #1000

Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301

RE: Mite auxilium!

Mr. Berger,

Here it is, Mother’s Day and things are both askew and awry or, worse, both.

#1 – 6 states have snow on the ground. New England ski slopes are up and running…in May.

#2 – Erupting volcanoes are here, there, and everywhere.

  #3 – Polar bears are still dying leading to a surplus of those cute baby seals.

#4 – Will your wife try to get Cuba to go vegan?

#5 – The head WOG from Saudi Arabia just told President B. O. to bugger off.

#6 – Is this year’s Summer of Recovery on schedule?

#7 – Is Roger Clinton in Gitmo?

#8 – If not showing Muhammad cartoons is a sign of respect for Muslim Sharia fans should we hang homosexuals and stone women as a sign of our good intentions?

#9 – Because of rising sea-levels you have stopped handling water front real estate transactions, haven’t you?

What caused these things to   happen?

A – The Koch Brothers?

B – The Bush family, particularly George the Younger?

C – fracking?

D – Mean spirited people who don’t like manatees and who think Hillary Clinton, with a ass that Oliver Hardy would envy, couldn’t lie straight in bed?

E – Rush Limbaugh and Pam Geller?

F – All of the above?

G – Some of the above?

H – None of the above…just  kidding!

I am enclosing my plans for the 4^th of July. I’d like you to come. Regrets only.

Kevin Smith

May 5, 2015

“FREE MEN SPEAK WITH FREE TONGUES”

The 25 century old breach between Antigone and

Marcel Duchamp has been closed.

Also, a crowd funding plea for a really bang-up

Fourth of July celebration.

King Creon told Antigone that she could not bury her brother. She did. The King killed her.

Marcel Duchamp had an exhibit in Paris 100+ years ago featuring his latest work “Nude Descending a Staircase”. Parisians rioted, not because their sensibilities were outraged by the sight of Frog ta-tas and Gallic yoo-has, but because there weren’t any. Google up the picture to see why they did what they did.

The gap was closed last Sunday in Garland, Texas.

If Allah is so friggin’ Akbar what difference does it make what his main man, his go to guy, Muhammed, looks like?  There were no cameras 14 centuries ago when he was busy eye-balling pre-pubescent teen age girls and/or goats. Maybe he looks like Omar Sharif. Maybe he looks like Yasser Arafat. Maybe he looks like the Elephant Man. Brad Pitt? Ru Paul? Yogi Berra? Al Sharpton?  Bruce Jenner? Bruja Jenner? Dorian Gray? Dr. Jekyll? Mister Hyde? 

Nobody knows.

If I draw a picture of a somewhat Semitic man with a face that would stop a clock and say it is my Uncle Baba Ganoosh a gazillion Muslims would say Oy! or the  Sunni/Shia equivalent. If I say it is MoMo, the mover of mountains and the bane of G-spots, they go from being wanabee feral Muslim thugs to becoming real life feral Muslim thugs who Kill the Infidels, preferably by cutting their heads off or blowing them up. Hijacking a plane and flying it into a skyscraper remains a viable option.

13 centuries after Jesus Christ, and Blessed be His name, The Divine Comedy was published. Dante tore his church apart. He and Petrarch were the first 2 artists in a phenomenon of Western Civilization called the Renaissance. Alas, 10 centuries ago, Islam turned inward. They began to eat their own seed corn. 10 centuries of forbidden DNA transfers has produced a culture where rage rules.

 Crucify Christians. Burn prisoners. Hang homosexuals. Flog women. All done to please Allah and his prophet. 

Somebody sure has some sense of humor.

Does the Medina Symphony feature Mozart or Stravinsky? Has the Dance theatre of Harlem been to Riyadh? Has the Fertile Crescent produced an Islamic Shakespeare? How about a James Joyce? Has a Muslim Samuel Johnson or a burnoosed Edmund Burke been hidden? Where is the Martin Luther of the desert? Any Walt Disneys at the next oasis? Andrew Carnegie? Bill Gates? Clarence Birdseye? Jonas Salk? Abdul Einstein?

You won’t have to take your socks off to count the number of Muslim Nobel Prize winners in the last century.

Speech is either free or it isn’t.

You are either pregnant or you’re not.

The tumor is either malignant or it isn’t.

The killing of those 2 thugs on Sunday proves a few things”

#1 – The express road to 72 virgins begins and ends in Texas.

#2 – If you tell me you want to kill my family do not expect to be welcomed.

#3 – The West, when enraged, will put paid on all those open bills.

#4 - The Southern Poverty Law Center did not approve this message.

#5 – Pam Geller, please come and bring your flame thrower

But wait. There’s more. 

My crowd-fund appeal is simple.

I want to have a demonstration on the steps of the nearest Federal Court House  in Fort Lauderdale, FL at noon on July 4^th, 2015.

I have picked Fort Lauderdale for one obvious reason. Broward County is Ground Zero for the antinomianilistic Nihilists known as modern American Liberals. These vipers are in favor of manatee suffrage, 4^th and  5^th trimester abortion, and banning Rush Limbaugh. Because of his progressive views on abortion Dr. Mengele would any Democratic primary he ran in.

 They also hectored me about “Piss Christ” and why I had to support it. “Piss Christ”, by Andres Serrano, is a clear container in which a crucifix is suspended. It is them filled with, you guessed it. Piss. I was told that the artist’s rights trumped mine and that it was the price we pay for an open society. They also told me that I had to acquiesce in the taxpayer supported “Corpus Crista”. It is a play whose premise is simple: Jesus Christ was crucified because of a lovers’ quarrel with Judas Iscariot. Judas, feeling betrayed, dropped a dime on the late and great JC and the Romans did the rest. 

I was told that nothing can come between the artist and his artistic expression. If I objected I would be consigned to the knuckle dragging Troglodyte dungeon from which no escape was possible

Besides, it was only a play and I should get over it.

Preliminary plans call for the American flag to be burned. No problem there, right? I will wrap a bible in the flag. Still no problem. I will also wrap a Koran in the flag. [As an aside, why is it always the “sacred” Koran? Why can’t the bible be “sacred”? Just asking.]

Further, I will have a gallon of pork piss nearby in case the fire gets out of control.

I need funds for suitable adult libations. No sense risking dehydration while doing the Lord’s work. I need funds for a getaway car. I need funds for bail. I need funds for legal and medical services. Since I am from Bayonne, NJ I will need street money. 

I will be easy to spot

I am a somewhat calorically challenged handsome bearded curmudgeon with a gimpy gait. I may be wearing an eye patch. I keep 2 hats handy. The oldest one, the bearing the title “Right-Wing Conspirator”, was worn by me in front of the white House in 1998. I shook my fist while shouting “Come Out with your hands up, you son of a Bitch. We have the Place Surrounded”.  Alas, he got away. 

The newer one, the one that says “Proud Global Warmer”, is used when I come across people who confuse correlation with causation and believe that tautologies are a really cool way to avoid thinking.

Whichever hat I wear, whichever way I choose to express myself, I will be exercising a right that is mine when I was born. I got it, not from the local magistrate, but “from beyond the stars”. And can someone bring me the latest Arabic translation of “A Modest Proposal”?

Nobody asked me but Hillary’s Ass is now an axe handle and a half wide. She needs a quart of industrial strength of WD40 it get her drawers on and the Jaws of Life to get them off. When she hauls ass it takes two trips with the last one in a wheelbarrow. She switched from Botox to Crème Brule because it is organic and it decreases her carbon footprint. Plus, it’s the only way she can get Handsome Billy to lick her.

FREE MEN STILL SPEAK WITH FREE TONGUES, RIGHT?

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

May 1, 2015

Rick Sanchez

WIOD – 610AM

Miramar, FL 33025

RE: Adios, amigo! A bit too much redolence when “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome” goes unchecked will drive rational people away

Mr. Sanchez,

The lead is in Spanish to show my sensitivity to the need for diversity and for the mandatory genuflection at the shrine of multi-culturalism.

In Spanish or in English this gringo is outta here.

At about 10:10 this morning you were conflating – great new word, huh? – the commentator on CNN and your ACELA Amtrak train ride.

ACELA is the high speed train that runs between Boston and Washington. Regardless of the direction the train must go through Baltimore. You said that the CNN commentator “knew” there would be “trouble’ there because he could see the blighted area when he rode the train.

You had just begun your frumpishly fustian polemic about the upper income, mostly White, commuters, doubtless card carrying members of the privileged 1% mover and shakers cabal, and how their callous indifference fed the flames of the urban thuggery, thugishness or whatever will soon be the politically correct synonym for the activities done by what used to be known as thugs.

Cato-like, I hit the off switch with a speed and ferocity that exceeded my minimum daily allowance for random carbon foot-printing.

I did this for a variety of reasons.

If you ever get involved with Al-Anon you will appreciate the universality of their mantra: You didn’t cause it and you can’t cure it.

Next up is a sum of money somewhere between $12,000,000,000,000 – that’s T, as in trillion – and $17,000,000,000,000, also T, as in  that this country has spent since 1964 on ‘it”. You may remember that Lyndon Johnson fought 2 wars. There is a wall in Washington marking the first one, the one in Vietnam. At least that one ended. The other one, the War on Poverty is now 51 years old. The “inconvenient truths”, the hard statistics, the objective indices, that caused him to give the “over the top” order are worse now than when he gave it. 

Having dug ditches in 3 countries I assure you with 100% metaphysical certitude that when you find out that you are digging a ditch on the wrong side of the road you stop digging.

Skip the good intentions, forget about the efforts of really good people who were/are/will be exceptional avatars of altruism, there are no success stories to be told. The alms givers did OK for themselves. 

Other than erecting “ a multitude of new offices, and send[ing] hither swarms of officers, to harass our people, and eat out their substance”, the only thing of lasting substance is a slough of despond that we have burdened our people with. 

The drought in California, partly caused by a mad scientist using taxpayer money to convince a nit-wit Judge that the inedible Delta Smelt is worthy of more protection than a farmer whose job is to feed people, is governmental lunacy on steroids. 

If a fully grown T-Rex mama were to appear outside Hammond, LA would she be granted protected status as she feasted on the nearest pre-school?

An argumentum ad absurdum writ large, I daresay tattooed, on the body politick. 

 I am not a heartless social Darwinist.  I am an Irish-Catholic, born and raised in Bayonne, NJ. Republicans had to get out of town by sundown. I had an uncle who, despite dying in 1956, voted Row A, the Regular Hudson County Democratic ticket, until he was stopped by a Federal Judge in 1971. 

I assure you my modern American Liberal credentials are in order. I even worked for 2 Democratic congressmen who went to prison.

The Hippocratic Oath demands that the physician “first, do no harm”. By our own hand, in election after election, we authorize yet more gasoline to be delivered to a fire that Mrs. O’Leary’s cow and Nero would have been proud. In fact, they would have been speechless

The sophistry of elected officials and pseudo-shamans who hector us on the virtues of arson, brigandry, and mayhem is contemptible. Worse, the bowel cleansing fear of being called a racist freezes any rational discussion of the rampant jackassery. 

I know that the patient is critical. I don’t know what the prescription should be. I know what it shouldn’t be.

Kevin Smith

PS – The Urban League did a commercial featuring a commuter train going through a riot ravaged Harlem. The White people kept their heads down. Malcolm X and James Baldwin told us of “the fire next time”. That was 50 years and 9 Presidents ago.

 Can I get my money back?

“He arado en el mar?”

1,500,000 years ago the Yellowstone Basin exploded. Life stopped for several centuries, 750,000 years ago the Yellowstone Basin exploded.

Life stopped for several centuries. The bad news is that we are in the window for it to blow up again.

Tip #1 - Borrow as much money as you can. interest only.

Tip #2 - Don't buy any green bananas.

Tip #3 - Aren't you glad the word "bullshit" is still around?

Tip #4 - Manatee sausage forte homeless, An idea whose time has come, no?

1,500,000 years ago the Yellowstone Basin exploded. Life stopped for several centuries, 750,000 years ago the Yellowstone Basin exploded.

Life stopped for several centuries. The bad news is that we are in the window for it to blow up again.

Tip #1 - Borrow as much money as you can. interest only.

Tip #2 - Don't buy any green bananas.

Tip #3 - Aren't you glad the word "bullshit" is still around?

Tip #4 - Manatee sausage forte homeless, An idea whose time has come, no?

April 19, 2015

Fred Grimm

The Miami Herald

RE: Time to say goodbye – Some comments on your unlinkable homage to jackassery in today’s Miami Herald opinion section.

Mr. Reaper,

Enough with the freakin’ manatees!

I single out these useless sea slugs because, if Darwin is right, maybe it’s time for those useless sea slugs to go; to go, as in extinct. The world has, so far, survived the unlamented loss of pterodactyls, assorted T-Rexes, and Neanderthals. Look it up, you boob.

Guilty White people will have to find a new way to recycle their 10 day old arugula and radicchio other than feeding these creatures. There is an unexpected benefit of cutting down our collective carbon footprint by not driving to an overpass and holding up traffic while disposing of unwanted Swiss chard, kale, and tofu.

Your lachrymose description of the tough times faced by panthers, black bears, wood storks, and sea turtles is touching. It is also Homerically dumb because, in its essence, it is anti-rational and anti-human.

The North Star of consistency common in the genetic makeup of modern American Liberals, a disproportionately addled group, is that the wretched excesses of the uber rich are what cause, in addition to putting out hit squads for barely animate flotsam and jetsam, rage in the ghetto, despair in Section 8 housing, long lines in clinics,

overburdened and underfunded public transit, a loss of “fairness”, teenage obesity and bullying, the heartbreak of psoriasis, and may be the underlying cause of why feral Muslim thugs don’t like us. 

It is owed to the ledger to say that the collateral damage caused by the Koch Brothers war on manatees was the loss of Midnight Basketball. “Hands Up” on defense and “Shoot” on offense is still good advice.

Woe betide the vulnerable sea slug if gazillioniares George Soros, Steven Spielberg, and Tom Steyer decide to try to break the sound barrier in their yachts on Biscayne Bay. In addition, we have to endure the 4^th generation of Kennedys, all proud members of the Lucky Sperm Club, flying gas guzzling private jets, to hector us on the evils of capitalism and the dangers of vaccination.

Logical thinkers who read your column have no choice but to believe that if the society that countenances a precious few to be uncommonly “lucky in life’s lottery”, to fill their garages with Bentleys and Maseratis, to get carpal tunnel syndrome from wearing multiple Rolexes, and for regarding farting through silk to be essential, is turned upside down the manatees will thrive, the children will dance, and the voice of the turtle will be heard in the land. 

It is an inconvenient truth but rich people hire poor people for 2 reasons: #1 is to enjoy the pleasures of being rich and #2 is to get richer. Poor people work for rich people for 2 reasons: #1 is to pay their own way and #2 is to get rich themselves.

If we get rid of the rich who will pay to take care of the manatees? 

Somebody has to change the oil in all those Bentleys. The poor in this country tend to smoke and drink beer. The more people who change oil in the Bentleys the more cigarettes and beer they will be able to buy. The more they buy the more taxes they will pay. A carton of smokes and a case of beer a week and we can have manatee pre-school.

But I digress.

Your concern for bears and panthers is touching. Why not alligators? They share on common trait. The want to catch you, kill you, and eat you.

I know that the dramatic increase in the number of undocumented alien pythons must make you tumescent. That’s what happens when you substitute feelings for ideas.

That’s what happens when you believe that Bambi is a great movie.

Accordingly, and by the powers of the office vested in me, I name you

HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK 

[FOREVER]

KEVIN SMITH

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

PS – Manatee suffrage and a 105% top tax rate are sure winners in 2016, don’t you think?

Ronald Reagan? Arthur Laffer? Milton Freidman? The evidence of your own eyes?

A minor te deum should be raised when a fire breathing modern American Liberal comes to his senses.

It today's unklinkable Sun Sentinel Op-ED about "enterprise zones " you say that a tax cut that will disproportionately benefit rich people, mostly White, is OK if it benefits poor people, mostly Black.

[speaking of "tax cuts for the rich" how can you give tax cuts to the poor since by definition they have no income?]

Perhaps a successful Sistrunk revival, a revival caused by reducing several types of taxes, can lead to a park where trees, the ones that money grow on, and where geese, the ones that lay golden eggs, can flourish. Do you think it could lead to a never-ending Summer of Recovery?

If I can find it would you like to borrow my Adam Smith tie?

"The Way the World Works" by Wan niski and "Property and Freedom" by Pipes would be useful as you "come out of the cave and look up and see the stars".

April 6, 2015

S.A. Sullivan 

The Star Ledger

sssullivan@njadvancemedia.com

Mr. Sullivan, 

Your article on the after tax effects of the proposed Exxon/NJ settlement in today’s Star Ledger bespeaks a lack of knowledge of how Orwell spoke of the real world.

“Stones are hard, water is wet.

If that is granted all else follows.”

I am going to assume that while you have signed the back of a pay check you have never signed the front of one. Thus, you would never have to come to grips with the inconvenient truth of the horror, the horror of learning that your salary is deductible to the entity issuing it.

It gets better.

Your underlying premise – corporations are bad, profits are evil, and evil doers must be punished – does not augur well for an early arrival of the much delayed, long anticipated Summer of Revival.

The simple, irrefutable truth is that profit is what makes the dog hunt and the mule plow. Even the great Lord Keynes agreed with that with his repeated call for tax cuts as a way to increase profits which he knew would “create” jobs. [Look it up]

You know – of course you do because you’re writing about business, right? – that corporations don’t pay taxes. Never have; never will. They, like advertising, legal fees, insurance premiums, 3 martini lunches, the aforementioned salaries, and emoluments to the local chapter of the “Undrown the Polar Bear” crusade are expenses borne by the shareholders

Your extra credit assignment is to find out who said the following:

At best, taxes are an enforced exactitude. The taxpayer is under no

 obligation to arrange his affairs in a way that favors the government.

 It is a patriot’s duty to pay the least amount of taxes possible.”

            The answer may surprise you.

        2 more things:

        #1 – Who the hell is PIRG? You cite them several times with no qualifiers. Forget about auditing the Federal Reserve. Has anyone ever seen their tax returns? Do they file tax returns? How about a certified financial statement? Do they get any money from George Soros? The Koch Brothers? Tom Steyer? 

        #2 – My grandfather shoveled coal at the Bayonne, New Jersey Standard plant beginning in 1896. My father was an iron worker there in 1919. I worked at chemical plants on Hook Road where the Exxon plants were located.

       There will be a 5^th Gospel before anyone can find any proof of the existence of wetlands there or anywhere else on the New York harbor side of Bayonne.

       I have GCed the removal of underground fuel tanks. I know what a remediation plan is. It seems to me that the shareholders of Exxon are about to be charged for the restoration of property to a state that never was. 

       I am sure they will be pleased to know that it is tax-deductible.

KEVIN SMITH

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

PS – Soros, the Koch Brothers, and Tom Steyer in the same sentence? They have one thing in common. Every time they write a check the IRS gets less money.

             

March 30, 2015

Rhonda Swan

The Sun Sentinel

rswan@evolutionslifecoaching.com

RE: Do the math – A comment on why modern American Liberals can’t get Florida to support Midnight Basketball as tearfully reported by you in today’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel.

Ms. Swan,

“Florida House members should

Support good Senate bills”

The Sun Sentinel”

Today

You

“Conflate” is the sanctioned word du jour of modern American Liberals, Of course, nothing can replace “gravitas”. Of course, nothing ca surpass “gravitas’, a word that sprung full grown from the furrowed collective brows of up appallingly biased media, to describe Dick Cheney in the election of 2000 but here’s a candidate.

There is a simple way to get the “Florida House members [to] support god Senate bills”. 

“Just win baby”

Al Davis was on to something. In February, 2009 President B. Hussein Obama, America’s most successful community activists and the best President we have, began a hectoring session with Republican Congressmen with the soothing lines of “There was an election. I won. Get over it”.

Doubtless, he learned from one of Saul Alinsky’s favorite mentors, V.I. Lenin, who set it all out in a snappy little book called “What’s To Be Done”. If you control the votes you can pass whatever you want. I offer as an example the Federal law called the Freedom of Religion Act. It is the model for the law that 20 states have now adopted, the last one being Indiana. In1993 it won all but 3 votes out of a possible 535 in Congress. President Clinton, and whatever else he was he was not a homophobe, couldn’t wait to sign it.

Isn’t that the way Democracies are supposed to work?

I’ll repeat this if necessary but you seem to be “clean and articulate” so that probably shan’t be necessary.

Elect more Democrats to the Florida legislature and you’ll be able to pass anything you want. Elect a Democratic Governor and she’ll sign legislation mandating that everyone must fart through silk.

Wait a minute. Wasn’t that how ObamaCare got passed?

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

April 4, 2015

Robert Steinback

The Sun Sentinel

“As I see it, the proper role of religion is as

an aid to introspection, not as a tool for

projecting power and influence over others”

The Sun Sentinel

April 3, 2015

You

If I read this correctly, and if career choices could be changed retroactively, Martin Luther King, Jr. would have succeeded his father as the premier pastor/preacher in Atlanta. Mother Teresa would have been allowed to continue her good works provided she kept quiet about them

It’s Holy Week. Here’s a pop quiz.

Who said “Halfway through my journey I found myself in the dark wood of error”?

Listen carefully. The Hound of Heaven is a dog that will bark.

KS

April 4, 2015

Letter to the Editor

The Sun Sentinel

RE: Job application

Sirs, 

If a transgendered crossdresser asks a Muslim bakery to prepare a cake celebrating the marriage of his/her father to his/her brother/sister, with the cake inscribed with lard saying Allah Ain’t So Akbar, and is refused, who, if anyone, is the victim of a hate crime?

I know the answer

That is why I am applying for the job of deciding which vox populi is “good” and which vox populi is “bad”.

The hectoring headline of today’s editorial

RESPECT WILL OF THE VOTERS ON AMENDMENT1

with regards to the allocation of tax revenues, said revenues coming from the tax on real estate transactions, to land and water conservation, suggests an eclectic indignation that is embedded in the DNA of modern American Liberalism.

If the voice of the people is to respected as if it came “ex cathedra” on Exhibit A – the environment – and not on Exhibit B – same sex marriage – does the decision process mimic the inanimate plight of the thermos? The thermos keeps the hot things hot and it keeps the cold things cold. How does it know the difference?

I, as a gimlet-eyed observer of the passing scene, as a literate curmudgeon who can tell the buttered sided form the dry, can help you make those distinctions.

I will give you #1 & #2 free of charge.

#1 – “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome” -  ??? Send a SASE

#2 – Your favorite color is plaid

I am too old to expect the courtesy of a reply but it is the Easter season and I can hope, can’t I? Who knows what Peter Cottontail has in his basket?

The couple will be registering at Total Wine, Tiffany’s, Victor/Victoria’s Secret[s]  and Big Al’s gun store.

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET