Posts
September 16, 2008
Senator B. Hussein Obama
P.O. Box 8102
Chicago, Illinois 60680
RE: Have you ever heard of Jonathan Swift?
Precious Bambi,
It’s tough enough what with you trying to memorize the 57 or 58 states – How many ways can you spell potato? – while trying to find the seldom seen “Nitally Lion” in the embittered, gun clinging wilds of Pennsylvania. By now you realize that the perfect Joe Biden action doll will have but one foot. The missing one will be so far down his throat that it could give nuggies to his sternum.
It gets worse. I tell you, as a true friend and trusted adviser, that you have some absolutely moronic “moonbats” running around the country singing your song,
It’s almost as if Lee Atwater is leading a Halleluiah Chorus. How else can you explain why a whole bunch of mush brained celebrity farts begin to chant
Jesus was a Community Organizer.
Pontius Pilate was a Governor.
Does that mean that should Governor Palin become Vice President she would crucify you?
Perhaps a deeper knowledge of 20th Century American History could have prevented this gaffe. Your daughters go to a very expensive private grammar school. Maybe the school has a library you could visit. Maybe it has some books on the subject.
T. Woodrow Wilson – and his name cannot be mentioned without recalling that Thurgood Marshall always said he was the most racist President ever, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Jimmy E. Carter, and William Jefferson Blythe Clinton were Governors before they became President.
President Wilson, after having a private viewing of “The Birth of a Nation” in the White House, said, “The film is History”. I can find no record of him favoring crucifixion. Floggings and lynchings, yes. Crucifixion, no.
The same for Roosevelt, Carter, and Clinton.
Wait a minute. I don’t mean they were in favor if floggings and lynchings. I mean that because they were governors it doesn’t mean that they were in favor of crucifixions. It’s confusing, I know.
How about this?
Republican Governors are in favor of crucifixions. Only one Democratic Governor was in favor of floggings, lynchings, and crucifixions, OK?
One more thing.
My extensive foreign sources, all of whom are confidential and will remain anonymous, have confirmed that you have more siblings than John McCain has houses. You should update your Kwanzaa list.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Altaf Ali and Why can't we all just get along?
September 14, 2008
Mr. Altaf Ali
@The Sun-Sentinel – OP ED
200 East Las Olas Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida 33301
RE: Freedom – A response to your OP-ED piece in today’s Sun-Sentinel
Mr. Ali,
Of the many hallmarks of Western Civilization – Western, not Far Eastern, mid Eastern, or Fertile Crescent based – is that “free men speak with free tongues”. Thus when I read your article this morning it was not extraordinary. In a calm manner you discussed several myths held by people who are not Muslims.
But always there is a persistent questioning about you religion and its practical effects.
I daresay that your article was published exactly as you wrote it. Can you name me one Muslim ruled country where I would be allowed to publish an article repudiating Islamic myths about Christianity? You are allowed to practice your religion as freely as anybody else in this country. Can you name one Muslim ruled country that would allow me to practice my religion as freely as you do so here? Do you think I could open a Catholic church in Mecca? There are mosques in Rome. Why aren’t there any non-Mosque houses of worship in Riyadh or Qom?
1300 years after the birth of Christ Dante wrote The Divine Comedy. In it he depicted some of the evil people and practices of Christianity. It’s been a bit more than 1300 years since Muhammad died. Can you name the Islamic equivalent of La Commedia? Can you identify the Islamic Dante?
At least once a day I listen to Mozart. Can you name one, just one, Islamic Mozart? If there aren’t any why is that so?
In this country there is a sculpture called “Piss Christ”. It shows a crucifix suspended in a vat of urine. It was partially funded by American taxpayers. There is a portrait, also tax payer supported, that shows a picture of the Blessed Mother. The artist has flung dung on it. There is a play, Corpus Cristi by Terence McNally, also tax payer supported, that says Jesus Christ and Judas Iscariot were homosexual lovers. Further, it says that the crucifixion of Jesus happened because of a lovers’ quarrel featuring Jesus and Judas. I find this, as a Roman Catholic, to be deeply offensive. My protests have gone unrequited. I have yet to kill anyone over this matter.
A few years ago a Danish cartoonist tried to publish some cartoons caricaturing Mohammed. The Muslim world went “barking mad” at this. Thousands of people, thankfully mostly Muslims, died. A Danish film maker, a Christian and a descendant of the great artist Van Gogh, was hacked to death on a public street by a Muslim outraged over his lack of respect for Mohammed. 1300 years after Mohammed appeared could you name one Muslim artist of the stature of Van Gogh? Of Michelangelo? We know that there are no Muslim Mozarts. How about an Islamic Bach? How about a Koran believing Cole Porter?
Are there any myths in what I have written? Are there any lies?
Incidentally, I have written to you some six times. I have never had the courtesy of a reply. Each of my previous letters has been as well reasoned and well mannered as this one. I address this one to the Sun-Sentinel. American newspapers are extremely sensitive to the “chilling effect” and “slippery slope” of prior restraint or censorship, be it self imposed or not.
Maybe they can get you to answer.
It is well to note that one of the charges being leveled against Governor Palin is that she “burned books”. There is no more serious charge for a modern American Liberal to make than that. That’s why the Sun-Sentinel has a permanent exhibit of those Danish cartoons on Mohammed in their lobby.
Just kidding.
By the way, how are the Muslims and the Hindus getting along?
KS
PS – Because I did not mention Aquinas or Haydn or Shakespeare or Hemingway or Madison doesn’t mean I have purposely excluded them from this conversation. If, should you so deign, to answer my questions could you include a list of Muslim contemporaries? I say contemporaries because they have no peers, regardless of religion.
Mr. Altaf Ali
@The Sun-Sentinel – OP ED
200 East Las Olas Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida 33301
RE: Freedom – A response to your OP-ED piece in today’s Sun-Sentinel
Mr. Ali,
Of the many hallmarks of Western Civilization – Western, not Far Eastern, mid Eastern, or Fertile Crescent based – is that “free men speak with free tongues”. Thus when I read your article this morning it was not extraordinary. In a calm manner you discussed several myths held by people who are not Muslims.
But always there is a persistent questioning about you religion and its practical effects.
I daresay that your article was published exactly as you wrote it. Can you name me one Muslim ruled country where I would be allowed to publish an article repudiating Islamic myths about Christianity? You are allowed to practice your religion as freely as anybody else in this country. Can you name one Muslim ruled country that would allow me to practice my religion as freely as you do so here? Do you think I could open a Catholic church in Mecca? There are mosques in Rome. Why aren’t there any non-Mosque houses of worship in Riyadh or Qom?
1300 years after the birth of Christ Dante wrote The Divine Comedy. In it he depicted some of the evil people and practices of Christianity. It’s been a bit more than 1300 years since Muhammad died. Can you name the Islamic equivalent of La Commedia? Can you identify the Islamic Dante?
At least once a day I listen to Mozart. Can you name one, just one, Islamic Mozart? If there aren’t any why is that so?
In this country there is a sculpture called “Piss Christ”. It shows a crucifix suspended in a vat of urine. It was partially funded by American taxpayers. There is a portrait, also tax payer supported, that shows a picture of the Blessed Mother. The artist has flung dung on it. There is a play, Corpus Cristi by Terence McNally, also tax payer supported, that says Jesus Christ and Judas Iscariot were homosexual lovers. Further, it says that the crucifixion of Jesus happened because of a lovers’ quarrel featuring Jesus and Judas. I find this, as a Roman Catholic, to be deeply offensive. My protests have gone unrequited. I have yet to kill anyone over this matter.
A few years ago a Danish cartoonist tried to publish some cartoons caricaturing Mohammed. The Muslim world went “barking mad” at this. Thousands of people, thankfully mostly Muslims, died. A Danish film maker, a Christian and a descendant of the great artist Van Gogh, was hacked to death on a public street by a Muslim outraged over his lack of respect for Mohammed. 1300 years after Mohammed appeared could you name one Muslim artist of the stature of Van Gogh? Of Michelangelo? We know that there are no Muslim Mozarts. How about an Islamic Bach? How about a Koran believing Cole Porter?
Are there any myths in what I have written? Are there any lies?
Incidentally, I have written to you some six times. I have never had the courtesy of a reply. Each of my previous letters has been as well reasoned and well mannered as this one. I address this one to the Sun-Sentinel. American newspapers are extremely sensitive to the “chilling effect” and “slippery slope” of prior restraint or censorship, be it self imposed or not.
Maybe they can get you to answer.
It is well to note that one of the charges being leveled against Governor Palin is that she “burned books”. There is no more serious charge for a modern American Liberal to make than that. That’s why the Sun-Sentinel has a permanent exhibit of those Danish cartoons on Mohammed in their lobby.
Just kidding.
By the way, how are the Muslims and the Hindus getting along?
KS
PS – Because I did not mention Aquinas or Haydn or Shakespeare or Hemingway or Madison doesn’t mean I have purposely excluded them from this conversation. If, should you so deign, to answer my questions could you include a list of Muslim contemporaries? I say contemporaries because they have no peers, regardless of religion.
The slightly askew Moral Compass of Doris Kearns Goodwin
September 14, 2008
Doris Kearns Goodwin
@Parade Magazine
711 Third Avenue
New York, New York 10017
RE: A Moral Compass – Sometimes it’s tough to find True North
Ms. Kearns Goodwin,
Far be it for me to criticize a Pulitzer Prize for something she didn’t say but, alas, I owe it to the ledger.
In the pantheon of past Pulitzer Prize winners – Walter Duranty and Janice Cook leap to mind – the main criterion was what they said. In the case of the former the fact that Walter Duranty was a bought and paid for stooge for the KGB has never caused he New York Times to repudiate him. In case you’ve forgotten he convinced the world that Stalin didn’t cause the deaths of 8,000,000 million Ukrainians, Europe’s first Holocaust. In the case of the latter Janice Cooke created a tale about pre-pubescent drug dealing. It could have been taken from a whole cloth woven in the church where Senator B. Hussein Obama sat for 20 years and never ever heard Pastor Wrong Wright, the man who married him and his wife, and baptized his children spoke of such things.
Not to say something can constitute fraud. That was told to me by a law school classmate of your husband.
You wrote the following this morning in Parade Magazine. Your heading was the need for a Moral Compass.
“Republicans told Lincoln that unless he renounced his
Emancipation Proclamation, the Confederates never would
agree to peace talks without which he had no hope of re-election.”
Parade Magazine
9/14/08
And where were the Democrats in all this?
A case could be made that because they, and The New York Times, were opposed to the Civil War, they were in favor of slavery. Their candidate, McClellan, AKA “The Boy Napoleon, acquiesced in calling Lincoln a “baboon”. Lincoln asked him that if “he wasn’t going to use the army could he borrow it for a while”.
Speaking of war casualties, was it June or July of 1864 that the Union Army took 50,000 casualties? Perhaps it was both months.
Grant and Sherman led “surges” about 1000 miles apart. The Democratic Party was apoplectically opposed to both. Sherman’s second surge shortened the Civil War by 18 months. Had the Democrats been in charge neither would have taken place.
Funny how some things never change.
A few years ago you plagiarized another’s written word.
In this instance you show that your Moral Compass is still broken. This time by what you didn’t say.
Clio’s children, Herodotus, Thucydides Plutarch, and Gibbon wouldn’t be surprised. They would be a just a bit ashamed.
Doris Kearns Goodwin
@Parade Magazine
711 Third Avenue
New York, New York 10017
RE: A Moral Compass – Sometimes it’s tough to find True North
Ms. Kearns Goodwin,
Far be it for me to criticize a Pulitzer Prize for something she didn’t say but, alas, I owe it to the ledger.
In the pantheon of past Pulitzer Prize winners – Walter Duranty and Janice Cook leap to mind – the main criterion was what they said. In the case of the former the fact that Walter Duranty was a bought and paid for stooge for the KGB has never caused he New York Times to repudiate him. In case you’ve forgotten he convinced the world that Stalin didn’t cause the deaths of 8,000,000 million Ukrainians, Europe’s first Holocaust. In the case of the latter Janice Cooke created a tale about pre-pubescent drug dealing. It could have been taken from a whole cloth woven in the church where Senator B. Hussein Obama sat for 20 years and never ever heard Pastor Wrong Wright, the man who married him and his wife, and baptized his children spoke of such things.
Not to say something can constitute fraud. That was told to me by a law school classmate of your husband.
You wrote the following this morning in Parade Magazine. Your heading was the need for a Moral Compass.
“Republicans told Lincoln that unless he renounced his
Emancipation Proclamation, the Confederates never would
agree to peace talks without which he had no hope of re-election.”
Parade Magazine
9/14/08
And where were the Democrats in all this?
A case could be made that because they, and The New York Times, were opposed to the Civil War, they were in favor of slavery. Their candidate, McClellan, AKA “The Boy Napoleon, acquiesced in calling Lincoln a “baboon”. Lincoln asked him that if “he wasn’t going to use the army could he borrow it for a while”.
Speaking of war casualties, was it June or July of 1864 that the Union Army took 50,000 casualties? Perhaps it was both months.
Grant and Sherman led “surges” about 1000 miles apart. The Democratic Party was apoplectically opposed to both. Sherman’s second surge shortened the Civil War by 18 months. Had the Democrats been in charge neither would have taken place.
Funny how some things never change.
A few years ago you plagiarized another’s written word.
In this instance you show that your Moral Compass is still broken. This time by what you didn’t say.
Clio’s children, Herodotus, Thucydides Plutarch, and Gibbon wouldn’t be surprised. They would be a just a bit ashamed.
Bambi afnd The Right Stuff
September 14, 2008
Senator B. Hussein Obama
P.O. Box 8102
Chicago, Illinois 60680
RE: Text messaging and The Right Stuff
Senator Bambi,
Have you heard from Senator Curley Biden lately? To paraphrase Samuel Johnson, “The man’s an ass and that’s the end of it”. The dummy thinks Manual Labor is the dude from Huejutla who does his lawn. Do not – repeat – do not let him handle sharp instruments or operate heavy equipment without adult supervision.
But that’s not why I write.
The fact that Senator McCain will never be mistaken for a nerd or a geek plus the fact that he will pose no threat to Bill Gates is, to me, good news.
I don’t know how to fly a plane but that didn’t prevent me from getting on board and flying to Dallas last June to see my granddaughters last June.
I don’t know how to perform a cardiac catherization but that didn’t prevent me from having one last June in Dallas.
Here’s a pop quiz for you.
When Senator McCain was in his mid-20s he was trying to “catch the 3 wire”. What were you doing in your mid-20s?
I don’t think Senator McCain ever knew how to build a jet plane. He knew that the ideal carrier landing for a Naval Aviator was to “catch the 3 wire”.
Incidentally, people in the United States Air Force who fly jet planes are called pilots. People in the United States Navy who fly jet planes are called Naval Aviators. [A quick Google search for Torpedo Squadron Eight will show you why they can call themselves anything they want. A similar search of the United States Eight Air Force will show you why they can do the same.]
As to how you spent your time when you were in your twenties, the years that Churchill said were the most important, if your moveable feast of a resume is correct you were “community organizing” the Bejeezus out of Chicago. How did that turn out? Did you rid the place of those accursed Daleys? Did you toss the rascals out of office? Were you the one who sent Democratic Congressman Rostenkowski to jail? Were you the one who blew the whistle, so to speak, on pedophile Democratic Congressman Mel Reynolds? If memory serves he was convicted of child abuse, sentenced to prison, subsequently pardoned by President Clinton and hired by Democratic Congressman Jesse Jackson. Is this an example of Change we can believe in?
More importantly, were the people better off when you left then they were when you arrived?
Last week there was a news story that about 1000 inner city youth – that’s doublespeak for urban Black kids – from Chicago went to Wilmette and Winnetka to register for school. Is there something wrong with the public schools in Chicago? Wouldn’t they have benefited from “community organizing”? I must disclose that I am an honorary alumnus of the Catholic grammar school run in Chicago by Father George Clements.
Don’t you think it would be “cool” – your description of what government should be – if the schools worked in Chicago? Is that why you don’t send your girls to public schools there? If you are elected will your girls go attend any of the very fine grammar schools in Washington? If not, why not?
Anyway, as I’m sure you know by now, Senator McCain can’t text message or e-mail or use a keyboard because he had his arms and shoulders broken in North Vietnam. I am told that he can’t even brush his hair.
Stop the presses!
Somebody just told Curley Biden that Delaware wasn’t a slave state. He said he wanted to pull his hair out but his plugs, Gorilla Glued, “copper sheathed and iron bottomed”, won’t budge.
Maybe you should tell Whoopi Goldberg. Maybe Delaware won’t have to “succeed” from the Union.
Rats!
KS
PS – The same researcher who found out that Senator McCain couldn’t e-mail should try to find out if he attended the Tail Hook Convention in San Diego. That was the one where pilots who had qualified for carrier landings proved that Kipling was right. That will fly just as well as the smarmy, fecally aromatic bit about computers. Also, there is rumor that President Handsome Billy from Hot Springs sent only 2 e-mails in his time in the White House. One he sent several hundred times and the other he sent but once; “The coast is clear” and “Burn that dress”. Find out about that also.
Senator B. Hussein Obama
P.O. Box 8102
Chicago, Illinois 60680
RE: Text messaging and The Right Stuff
Senator Bambi,
Have you heard from Senator Curley Biden lately? To paraphrase Samuel Johnson, “The man’s an ass and that’s the end of it”. The dummy thinks Manual Labor is the dude from Huejutla who does his lawn. Do not – repeat – do not let him handle sharp instruments or operate heavy equipment without adult supervision.
But that’s not why I write.
The fact that Senator McCain will never be mistaken for a nerd or a geek plus the fact that he will pose no threat to Bill Gates is, to me, good news.
I don’t know how to fly a plane but that didn’t prevent me from getting on board and flying to Dallas last June to see my granddaughters last June.
I don’t know how to perform a cardiac catherization but that didn’t prevent me from having one last June in Dallas.
Here’s a pop quiz for you.
When Senator McCain was in his mid-20s he was trying to “catch the 3 wire”. What were you doing in your mid-20s?
I don’t think Senator McCain ever knew how to build a jet plane. He knew that the ideal carrier landing for a Naval Aviator was to “catch the 3 wire”.
Incidentally, people in the United States Air Force who fly jet planes are called pilots. People in the United States Navy who fly jet planes are called Naval Aviators. [A quick Google search for Torpedo Squadron Eight will show you why they can call themselves anything they want. A similar search of the United States Eight Air Force will show you why they can do the same.]
As to how you spent your time when you were in your twenties, the years that Churchill said were the most important, if your moveable feast of a resume is correct you were “community organizing” the Bejeezus out of Chicago. How did that turn out? Did you rid the place of those accursed Daleys? Did you toss the rascals out of office? Were you the one who sent Democratic Congressman Rostenkowski to jail? Were you the one who blew the whistle, so to speak, on pedophile Democratic Congressman Mel Reynolds? If memory serves he was convicted of child abuse, sentenced to prison, subsequently pardoned by President Clinton and hired by Democratic Congressman Jesse Jackson. Is this an example of Change we can believe in?
More importantly, were the people better off when you left then they were when you arrived?
Last week there was a news story that about 1000 inner city youth – that’s doublespeak for urban Black kids – from Chicago went to Wilmette and Winnetka to register for school. Is there something wrong with the public schools in Chicago? Wouldn’t they have benefited from “community organizing”? I must disclose that I am an honorary alumnus of the Catholic grammar school run in Chicago by Father George Clements.
Don’t you think it would be “cool” – your description of what government should be – if the schools worked in Chicago? Is that why you don’t send your girls to public schools there? If you are elected will your girls go attend any of the very fine grammar schools in Washington? If not, why not?
Anyway, as I’m sure you know by now, Senator McCain can’t text message or e-mail or use a keyboard because he had his arms and shoulders broken in North Vietnam. I am told that he can’t even brush his hair.
Stop the presses!
Somebody just told Curley Biden that Delaware wasn’t a slave state. He said he wanted to pull his hair out but his plugs, Gorilla Glued, “copper sheathed and iron bottomed”, won’t budge.
Maybe you should tell Whoopi Goldberg. Maybe Delaware won’t have to “succeed” from the Union.
Rats!
KS
PS – The same researcher who found out that Senator McCain couldn’t e-mail should try to find out if he attended the Tail Hook Convention in San Diego. That was the one where pilots who had qualified for carrier landings proved that Kipling was right. That will fly just as well as the smarmy, fecally aromatic bit about computers. Also, there is rumor that President Handsome Billy from Hot Springs sent only 2 e-mails in his time in the White House. One he sent several hundred times and the other he sent but once; “The coast is clear” and “Burn that dress”. Find out about that also.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Bambi & Curly
September 6, 2008
It required knowledge of the Trivium, specifically, Logic. Then, with a combination of skill and cunning that enabled me to overcome no small dollop of danger, access to Alpha Gump’s Internet, and with a profoundly intertwined American exceptionalism in my DNA I filled in the blanks and connected the dots. Although I am engulfed in the divers hues and auras of penumbras and emanations of schadenfreude, not to mention what may be a terminal case of enuresis caused by my due diligence, I must announce the coming departure of Curly Biden from the ticket headed by Senator B. Hussein Obama. I call him Curly, not because of his silly ass hair, but because I always thought he was the smartest of the Stooges. It is akin to being the world’s tallest midget.
Follow this ballista as it goes dead center perfect into the 10 ring.
Congressman Robert Wexler [D-Florida and maybe Maryland] is a person about whom it is impossible to say enough bad things. He has caught the ultimate brass ring. I awarded him the glorious title of SMARMY BASTARD OF THE YEAR several years ago. He has more than lived up to it. His “official” residence is a senior citizen managed care facility called Del Boca Vista Grande in Palm Beach County. Presumably, his non-public grammar school attending children live in the trunk of his car. He is a man who, if he were to burst into flames, I would not pee on him to put it out. If you doubt my sincerity strike a match. In his spare time – he is the quintessential SOCCER DAD – he is the Chairman of the B. Hussein Obama + Curly Biden committee in Florida.
As soon as Governor Palin was named to the ticket – a moment’s digression must be taken to say that she never cheated in college and that she never plagiarized any speeches from any failed politician like Curly Biden – Congressman Wexler, and let me say for the record that he is meaner than cat shit, said in an ex cathedra manner that Governor Palin was a Nazi.
He said that Governor Palin “liked” Pat Buchanan. He said that Pat Buchanan was a Nazi. Ergo, Governor Palin was a Nazi.
I was going to give him a stern lecture featuring “Who steals my purse steals trash…”, high minded literary stuff like that, but I knew it would be pearls before swine for him. I thought of B. Hussein Obama and decided against telling him because he is still working on the water walking shtick that he promised for Halloween. I thought of taking an ad in the Chicago Tribune but since he community organized the Hell out of it the place is running like Switzerland. As an aside, whatever happened to the Daleys? I know he saved them from being drawn and quartered like Pastor Wrong Wright and Bill Ayers, AKA “Mad Bomber” Bill, wanted. Both were Homerically tumescent in anticipation thereof. Where are they? Did he send them to live with his brother in Kenya? Maybe we should put their pictures on milk cartons. Maybe we should post an award. How about “America’s Most Wanted”? I thought about Curly Biden but, experienced as he is, he still hasn’t quite mastered what to do with his thumbs. Why embarrass him more than he already has himself.
But then I thought that if Governor Palin is, by the strict standards of Weasel Wexler, a Nazi what would a look at the record tell us about Biden, AKA Boob du jour?
The facts would support the following interpretation of his voting record. For the following he is said to be experienced? A few more years of similar experiences and we’ll all be undone.
#1 – In 1975 he voted in favor of Hanoi occupying Saigon.
#2 – In 1983 he voted in favor of Moscow occupying Nicaragua.
#3 – In 1991 he voted in favor of Saddam Hussein
#4 – In 2006 he voted against winning the war in Iraq.
About #4…Although the Senate did not vote on it in 1864 it would be no great leap to infer that, had there been a vote, he would have voted against Sherman’s Surge. [Lord knows that the Democratic Party and the New York Times detested Lincoln. They wanted the Union to stop fighting the South. Lincoln was called a “baboon” so it’s easy to see where Wexler the Worm got his marching orders.] Since Curly Biden is a Democrat and since he just announced that Delaware was a Southern state and that he doesn’t much like “dot heads” the segue to him being opposed to the surge and in favor of slavery was right in front of my eyes, like a turd in the punch bowl. It’s easy to picture him rubbing the lawn jockey’s head for good luck when he led the hunt for the runaways. In his instance the lawn jockey was real. Can you imagine his 86 tooth grin in anticipation of giving Jemima a real grown up present for her 11th birthday? I can. More importantly, he can.
As soon as the Obama people find out that Curly Biden regularly won the slave whipping contest at the Delaware State Fair – Is it true that “Dixie” is his ring tone? – his White ass is History.
How about President Handsome Billy from Hot Springs as a fill in? Would there be a better way to turn Hillary the Hecate into Lizzy Borden? Just tell her that he ordered a gross of blue dresses for his staff plus a Viagra IV. Two stones with one bird.
Logic. Ain’t it grand?
It required knowledge of the Trivium, specifically, Logic. Then, with a combination of skill and cunning that enabled me to overcome no small dollop of danger, access to Alpha Gump’s Internet, and with a profoundly intertwined American exceptionalism in my DNA I filled in the blanks and connected the dots. Although I am engulfed in the divers hues and auras of penumbras and emanations of schadenfreude, not to mention what may be a terminal case of enuresis caused by my due diligence, I must announce the coming departure of Curly Biden from the ticket headed by Senator B. Hussein Obama. I call him Curly, not because of his silly ass hair, but because I always thought he was the smartest of the Stooges. It is akin to being the world’s tallest midget.
Follow this ballista as it goes dead center perfect into the 10 ring.
Congressman Robert Wexler [D-Florida and maybe Maryland] is a person about whom it is impossible to say enough bad things. He has caught the ultimate brass ring. I awarded him the glorious title of SMARMY BASTARD OF THE YEAR several years ago. He has more than lived up to it. His “official” residence is a senior citizen managed care facility called Del Boca Vista Grande in Palm Beach County. Presumably, his non-public grammar school attending children live in the trunk of his car. He is a man who, if he were to burst into flames, I would not pee on him to put it out. If you doubt my sincerity strike a match. In his spare time – he is the quintessential SOCCER DAD – he is the Chairman of the B. Hussein Obama + Curly Biden committee in Florida.
As soon as Governor Palin was named to the ticket – a moment’s digression must be taken to say that she never cheated in college and that she never plagiarized any speeches from any failed politician like Curly Biden – Congressman Wexler, and let me say for the record that he is meaner than cat shit, said in an ex cathedra manner that Governor Palin was a Nazi.
He said that Governor Palin “liked” Pat Buchanan. He said that Pat Buchanan was a Nazi. Ergo, Governor Palin was a Nazi.
I was going to give him a stern lecture featuring “Who steals my purse steals trash…”, high minded literary stuff like that, but I knew it would be pearls before swine for him. I thought of B. Hussein Obama and decided against telling him because he is still working on the water walking shtick that he promised for Halloween. I thought of taking an ad in the Chicago Tribune but since he community organized the Hell out of it the place is running like Switzerland. As an aside, whatever happened to the Daleys? I know he saved them from being drawn and quartered like Pastor Wrong Wright and Bill Ayers, AKA “Mad Bomber” Bill, wanted. Both were Homerically tumescent in anticipation thereof. Where are they? Did he send them to live with his brother in Kenya? Maybe we should put their pictures on milk cartons. Maybe we should post an award. How about “America’s Most Wanted”? I thought about Curly Biden but, experienced as he is, he still hasn’t quite mastered what to do with his thumbs. Why embarrass him more than he already has himself.
But then I thought that if Governor Palin is, by the strict standards of Weasel Wexler, a Nazi what would a look at the record tell us about Biden, AKA Boob du jour?
The facts would support the following interpretation of his voting record. For the following he is said to be experienced? A few more years of similar experiences and we’ll all be undone.
#1 – In 1975 he voted in favor of Hanoi occupying Saigon.
#2 – In 1983 he voted in favor of Moscow occupying Nicaragua.
#3 – In 1991 he voted in favor of Saddam Hussein
#4 – In 2006 he voted against winning the war in Iraq.
About #4…Although the Senate did not vote on it in 1864 it would be no great leap to infer that, had there been a vote, he would have voted against Sherman’s Surge. [Lord knows that the Democratic Party and the New York Times detested Lincoln. They wanted the Union to stop fighting the South. Lincoln was called a “baboon” so it’s easy to see where Wexler the Worm got his marching orders.] Since Curly Biden is a Democrat and since he just announced that Delaware was a Southern state and that he doesn’t much like “dot heads” the segue to him being opposed to the surge and in favor of slavery was right in front of my eyes, like a turd in the punch bowl. It’s easy to picture him rubbing the lawn jockey’s head for good luck when he led the hunt for the runaways. In his instance the lawn jockey was real. Can you imagine his 86 tooth grin in anticipation of giving Jemima a real grown up present for her 11th birthday? I can. More importantly, he can.
As soon as the Obama people find out that Curly Biden regularly won the slave whipping contest at the Delaware State Fair – Is it true that “Dixie” is his ring tone? – his White ass is History.
How about President Handsome Billy from Hot Springs as a fill in? Would there be a better way to turn Hillary the Hecate into Lizzy Borden? Just tell her that he ordered a gross of blue dresses for his staff plus a Viagra IV. Two stones with one bird.
Logic. Ain’t it grand?
Monday, September 8, 2008
Carl Hiaasen, The Miami Herald
September 7, 2008
Carl Hiaasen
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, Florida 33132-1693
RE: “Another vote fiasco…in guess where” – A longer view take on your “I’m soooo mad I could just spit” about why “they” just can’t get those votes right in Palm Beach County.
Mr. Hiaasen,
At last! A plausible explanation for the elections of Palm Beach Commissioner Addie Greene, a woman who could and does frequently get lost on a ladder and a woman who is permanently barred from having any involvement with 2 car funerals, and Congressman Robert Wexler, aka The Weasel and/or The Worm, about whom it is impossible to say enough bad things.
That’s how these two mendacious scourges got elected.
But I digress.
“For almost eight guilt-ridden years, we have suffered with the
knowledge that our bungled election altered the course of history.
The war in Iraq, misguided and then mishandled, has cost this country
nearly a trillion dollars and the lives of more than 4,300 soldiers. And
while it is impossible to know what an Al Gore presidency would have
wrought, it’s unlikely he would have responded to the 9/11 attacks by
invading a nation that had no connection to those terrorists.”
The Miami Herald
Page 5L
Today
You
My father, the legendary Judge Smith, used to read to me. One of our favorite stories was The Virginian by Owen Wister. “When you call me that, smile” was a treasured line.
He also told me about opening ballot boxes in Bayonne, a city on the better end of Hudson County and, thus, a legitimate contender for the title “Pearl of the Hudson, and finding no votes for the Republican candidates. The hurried trips to City Hall, the sage advice from the elders, and the same answer…“Give the Republicans 8 votes. No, don’t take them from the Democrats”.
My mother’s brother, my Uncle Danny, died in May, 1956. His loyalty to the Democratic Party and Row A, a designation that “they” had from 1916 to the early ‘80s, was such that it raised “Death Be Not Proud” to a new level. He voted from the grave in North Arlington for 15 years. Can you believe he was stopped in 1971 by a Federal Judge? Full disclosure demands that I reveal that said Judge was a Nixon appointee.
One of the great, perhaps apocryphal, I hope not, stories about Mayor Richard Daley of Chicago – Maybe you, as a big time media mogul can find out what happened to his family. Since Senator B. Hussein Obama “community organized” the Hell out of the Windy City there has been no trace of them. Do you think foul play may have befallen them? – is that, as a practicing Roman Catholic [Gosh but I wonder what his stance on abortion would have been. I think it would have been different from Curley Biden and SanFranNan Pelosi] he sought absolution for his sins. Although he regarded keeping his vote tallies back until the Republican boobs in Southern Illinois revealed theirs and he could make the Cook County “adjustments” necessary to win as a malum prohibitum the gravity of it weighed heavily on his soul. He knew that if he hadn’t fixed the election in 1960 for Kennedy, Johnson AKA “Landslide Lyndon”, would never have been Vice President. If he hadn’t become Vice President would Vietnam have played out the way it did? Incidentally, the sobriquet “Landslide Lyndon” needs the Italianate hand of a novelist. Abe Fortas, The Duke of Duval County, bovine suffrage…Jeezus Haitch Keerist but who wouldathunk that a bit of Democratic perfidy in 1948 would have given us John McCain and Sarah Palin in 2008?
But back to the shoulda/woulda consequences of the near hit/near miss of the FUBARing of Alpha Gump and Palm Beach County in 2000.
Thank God for euphemisms.
“Condo Commandos” is a term used in polite public conversation. Everybody knows what it means. Everybody knew what “New York lawyer” meant in 1993 when Bernie Nussbaum, Esq. cleaned out Vince Foster’s files after he ate his gun. [Incidentally, the quick tale of the newest Palin, the Down’s Syndrome child, being the Governor’s oldest daughter’s child calls to mind the story of Hillary Rodham Clinton grabbing Vince Foster’s ass at a Rose Law Firm Christmas Party and saying “I have to get laid more than once a year”.] “Condo Commandos” is a buzzword for Jews. Particularly New York City Jews. A “New York lawyer” means one thing and one thing only. The fact of the matter is that you want one on your side particularly if the other side has one.
What would the permanently outraged main stream modern American Liberal media have done if Pat Buchanan had said “New York Lawyer”? He would be in quick pursuit of the Pioneer Space Probe. That was the one launched in 1977. Wasn’t Jimmy Carter President that year? Didn’t he say that Israel sponsors apartheid? Have you ever heard of “eclectic indignation”?
That “these” people would have voted for Dr. Mengele because of his enlightened views on abortion there can be no doubt. That they would have voted, willingly, for Pat Buchanan is as likely to have happened as pulled pork sandwiches at a Lubavitcher bris. I don’t know if you saw Worm Wexler’s use of Logic with regards to Sarah Palin. He said that she supported Pat Buchanan. He said that Pat Buchanan is a Nazi. Ergo, Sarah Palin is a Nazi. The Trivium has never had such a frontal assault since the great unwashed feral savages came out of the Fertile Crescent to strangle the birthplace of Western Civilization.
“Was it June or July of 1864 that the Union Army had 50,000 casualties”?
Think of those Spartan Hoplites still at Thermopylae; think of Athenian sailors still with their “wooden wall” at Salamis; think of Charles Martel at Tours; think of Cervantes at Lepanto; think of the Austrians using croissants as a psychological weapon; think of how the Marines came to be known as “Leathernecks”, think of Churchill at Omdurman; think of Munich, 1972; think of the World Trade Center, 1993; think of 9/11.
I say the above as a student of History.
I give you the above line in fee simple, unconditionally, with no reservations, for your use should you decide to write a novel about the Civil War, the Democratic Party, slavery, the New York Times, and Albert Arnold Gore, Jr.
As a Democrat he would have been opposed to the Civil War. The New York Times had news stories calling Lincoln a “baboon”. They also wanted a negotiated settlement with the South that would have preserved slavery there. The Democratic Party of 2006 – think Pelosi, Reed, and a former protégée of Bill “Mad Bomber” Ayres and Pastor Wrong Wright known as Senator B. Hussein Obama – was apoplectically opposed to the “Surge”. The New York Times – and if there is ever an example of why the estate tax should include capital punishment just look there – screamed against it everyday, just like it did to its predecessor, the surge led by Sherman. Gore, Nobel Prize notwithstanding, is the dumbest man in American politics. In a mirror lined phone booth, with a certified Life Coach giving instruction, he couldn’t find his ass using both his hands. One of his main problems with so doing is that he hasn’t yet figured out what to do with his thumbs. After voting for McClellan he would have opposed Sherman. He probably would have suggested giving back Atlanta as a sign of good faith.
If Sarah Palin is a Nazi Gore would have been a slave owner. He would have driven the get away wagon for John Wilkes Booth.
“What happened here in 2000 put George Bush in the
White House and it all started in Palm Beach County.”
Ibid
I hate to be always correcting my betters but…but…in the words of the great Rumsfeld, “Not so. Not so.”
Have you forgotten Tennessee and Arkansas?
Alpha Gump, or as the Secret Service called him, “Cementhead”, a native born Volunteer, the son of Armand Hammer’s bag man, a noted slum lord and land despoiler, couldn’t even carry his own state.
President Handsome Billy from Hot Springs, the King of the Oval Office One Eyed Trouser Snakes, couldn’t deliver Arkansas for Dumb Albert. He went on to win a Nobel Prize for, I think, flummery. It is a prize he shares with Le Duc Tho, Rigobertu Minchu, and Yasser Arafat. Wasn’t Arkansas’s motto “Mississippi is Worse”?
If either of those states had gone for Al & Joe the Easter Egg hunt would have been led by the charming Thumper Gump and all the Baby Gumpsters.
The other reason, the reason why George Bush became President, the one that rankles the asses of modern American Liberals, the one that ties their knickers into a knot of Gordian proportions, happened in 1987. Robert Bork. His name is now an eponym for a good man being grossly scandalized. “The little dogs were barking” that day.
He would have voted against taking the case.
You end your plea by exhorting us to “pray for a landslide”.
Prayers are always answered. Sometimes the answer is no.
Carl Hiaasen
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, Florida 33132-1693
RE: “Another vote fiasco…in guess where” – A longer view take on your “I’m soooo mad I could just spit” about why “they” just can’t get those votes right in Palm Beach County.
Mr. Hiaasen,
At last! A plausible explanation for the elections of Palm Beach Commissioner Addie Greene, a woman who could and does frequently get lost on a ladder and a woman who is permanently barred from having any involvement with 2 car funerals, and Congressman Robert Wexler, aka The Weasel and/or The Worm, about whom it is impossible to say enough bad things.
That’s how these two mendacious scourges got elected.
But I digress.
“For almost eight guilt-ridden years, we have suffered with the
knowledge that our bungled election altered the course of history.
The war in Iraq, misguided and then mishandled, has cost this country
nearly a trillion dollars and the lives of more than 4,300 soldiers. And
while it is impossible to know what an Al Gore presidency would have
wrought, it’s unlikely he would have responded to the 9/11 attacks by
invading a nation that had no connection to those terrorists.”
The Miami Herald
Page 5L
Today
You
My father, the legendary Judge Smith, used to read to me. One of our favorite stories was The Virginian by Owen Wister. “When you call me that, smile” was a treasured line.
He also told me about opening ballot boxes in Bayonne, a city on the better end of Hudson County and, thus, a legitimate contender for the title “Pearl of the Hudson, and finding no votes for the Republican candidates. The hurried trips to City Hall, the sage advice from the elders, and the same answer…“Give the Republicans 8 votes. No, don’t take them from the Democrats”.
My mother’s brother, my Uncle Danny, died in May, 1956. His loyalty to the Democratic Party and Row A, a designation that “they” had from 1916 to the early ‘80s, was such that it raised “Death Be Not Proud” to a new level. He voted from the grave in North Arlington for 15 years. Can you believe he was stopped in 1971 by a Federal Judge? Full disclosure demands that I reveal that said Judge was a Nixon appointee.
One of the great, perhaps apocryphal, I hope not, stories about Mayor Richard Daley of Chicago – Maybe you, as a big time media mogul can find out what happened to his family. Since Senator B. Hussein Obama “community organized” the Hell out of the Windy City there has been no trace of them. Do you think foul play may have befallen them? – is that, as a practicing Roman Catholic [Gosh but I wonder what his stance on abortion would have been. I think it would have been different from Curley Biden and SanFranNan Pelosi] he sought absolution for his sins. Although he regarded keeping his vote tallies back until the Republican boobs in Southern Illinois revealed theirs and he could make the Cook County “adjustments” necessary to win as a malum prohibitum the gravity of it weighed heavily on his soul. He knew that if he hadn’t fixed the election in 1960 for Kennedy, Johnson AKA “Landslide Lyndon”, would never have been Vice President. If he hadn’t become Vice President would Vietnam have played out the way it did? Incidentally, the sobriquet “Landslide Lyndon” needs the Italianate hand of a novelist. Abe Fortas, The Duke of Duval County, bovine suffrage…Jeezus Haitch Keerist but who wouldathunk that a bit of Democratic perfidy in 1948 would have given us John McCain and Sarah Palin in 2008?
But back to the shoulda/woulda consequences of the near hit/near miss of the FUBARing of Alpha Gump and Palm Beach County in 2000.
Thank God for euphemisms.
“Condo Commandos” is a term used in polite public conversation. Everybody knows what it means. Everybody knew what “New York lawyer” meant in 1993 when Bernie Nussbaum, Esq. cleaned out Vince Foster’s files after he ate his gun. [Incidentally, the quick tale of the newest Palin, the Down’s Syndrome child, being the Governor’s oldest daughter’s child calls to mind the story of Hillary Rodham Clinton grabbing Vince Foster’s ass at a Rose Law Firm Christmas Party and saying “I have to get laid more than once a year”.] “Condo Commandos” is a buzzword for Jews. Particularly New York City Jews. A “New York lawyer” means one thing and one thing only. The fact of the matter is that you want one on your side particularly if the other side has one.
What would the permanently outraged main stream modern American Liberal media have done if Pat Buchanan had said “New York Lawyer”? He would be in quick pursuit of the Pioneer Space Probe. That was the one launched in 1977. Wasn’t Jimmy Carter President that year? Didn’t he say that Israel sponsors apartheid? Have you ever heard of “eclectic indignation”?
That “these” people would have voted for Dr. Mengele because of his enlightened views on abortion there can be no doubt. That they would have voted, willingly, for Pat Buchanan is as likely to have happened as pulled pork sandwiches at a Lubavitcher bris. I don’t know if you saw Worm Wexler’s use of Logic with regards to Sarah Palin. He said that she supported Pat Buchanan. He said that Pat Buchanan is a Nazi. Ergo, Sarah Palin is a Nazi. The Trivium has never had such a frontal assault since the great unwashed feral savages came out of the Fertile Crescent to strangle the birthplace of Western Civilization.
“Was it June or July of 1864 that the Union Army had 50,000 casualties”?
Think of those Spartan Hoplites still at Thermopylae; think of Athenian sailors still with their “wooden wall” at Salamis; think of Charles Martel at Tours; think of Cervantes at Lepanto; think of the Austrians using croissants as a psychological weapon; think of how the Marines came to be known as “Leathernecks”, think of Churchill at Omdurman; think of Munich, 1972; think of the World Trade Center, 1993; think of 9/11.
I say the above as a student of History.
I give you the above line in fee simple, unconditionally, with no reservations, for your use should you decide to write a novel about the Civil War, the Democratic Party, slavery, the New York Times, and Albert Arnold Gore, Jr.
As a Democrat he would have been opposed to the Civil War. The New York Times had news stories calling Lincoln a “baboon”. They also wanted a negotiated settlement with the South that would have preserved slavery there. The Democratic Party of 2006 – think Pelosi, Reed, and a former protégée of Bill “Mad Bomber” Ayres and Pastor Wrong Wright known as Senator B. Hussein Obama – was apoplectically opposed to the “Surge”. The New York Times – and if there is ever an example of why the estate tax should include capital punishment just look there – screamed against it everyday, just like it did to its predecessor, the surge led by Sherman. Gore, Nobel Prize notwithstanding, is the dumbest man in American politics. In a mirror lined phone booth, with a certified Life Coach giving instruction, he couldn’t find his ass using both his hands. One of his main problems with so doing is that he hasn’t yet figured out what to do with his thumbs. After voting for McClellan he would have opposed Sherman. He probably would have suggested giving back Atlanta as a sign of good faith.
If Sarah Palin is a Nazi Gore would have been a slave owner. He would have driven the get away wagon for John Wilkes Booth.
“What happened here in 2000 put George Bush in the
White House and it all started in Palm Beach County.”
Ibid
I hate to be always correcting my betters but…but…in the words of the great Rumsfeld, “Not so. Not so.”
Have you forgotten Tennessee and Arkansas?
Alpha Gump, or as the Secret Service called him, “Cementhead”, a native born Volunteer, the son of Armand Hammer’s bag man, a noted slum lord and land despoiler, couldn’t even carry his own state.
President Handsome Billy from Hot Springs, the King of the Oval Office One Eyed Trouser Snakes, couldn’t deliver Arkansas for Dumb Albert. He went on to win a Nobel Prize for, I think, flummery. It is a prize he shares with Le Duc Tho, Rigobertu Minchu, and Yasser Arafat. Wasn’t Arkansas’s motto “Mississippi is Worse”?
If either of those states had gone for Al & Joe the Easter Egg hunt would have been led by the charming Thumper Gump and all the Baby Gumpsters.
The other reason, the reason why George Bush became President, the one that rankles the asses of modern American Liberals, the one that ties their knickers into a knot of Gordian proportions, happened in 1987. Robert Bork. His name is now an eponym for a good man being grossly scandalized. “The little dogs were barking” that day.
He would have voted against taking the case.
You end your plea by exhorting us to “pray for a landslide”.
Prayers are always answered. Sometimes the answer is no.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Jeff Shain, The Miami Herald
September 3, 2008
Jeff Shain
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, Florida 33132-1693
RE: It’s OK for Homer to nod but, God’s Holy Trousers, he ain’t Rip Van Winkle!
Mr. Shain,
While it’s possible for a principal to play a principled role it is etymologically impossible for a principle to play a principled role. Don’t bother to ask. A principle cannot play a principaled role either.
I know things are tough in the newspaper business. If you need some blue pencils let me know. In fact, if you need to know what to do with them let me know also.
Jeff Shain
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, Florida 33132-1693
RE: It’s OK for Homer to nod but, God’s Holy Trousers, he ain’t Rip Van Winkle!
Mr. Shain,
“The first Chris Evert Tennis Center not only will bear
her name at a luxury community being developed in
the Dominican Republic, but she will also play a
principle
role in the design.”
The Miami Herald
Page 2D
Today
You
[whiz bang italics mine]
her name at a luxury community being developed in
the Dominican Republic, but she will also play a
principle
role in the design.”
The Miami Herald
Page 2D
Today
You
[whiz bang italics mine]
While it’s possible for a principal to play a principled role it is etymologically impossible for a principle to play a principled role. Don’t bother to ask. A principle cannot play a principaled role either.
I know things are tough in the newspaper business. If you need some blue pencils let me know. In fact, if you need to know what to do with them let me know also.
Love note to Addie and the detective Friday, September 5, 2008 9:11 AM
The following emails were sent to Addie Greene and the Detective from a Warriorbard reader in Russia:
Sent via email to:
Commissioner Addie Greene
Palm Beach County Government Center
Palm Beach, Florida
Dear Commissioner Greene:
Attached is a note sent to Detective Mahoney of the Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office in the matter of Mr. KS a resident of Ft. Lauderdale who has recently corresponded with you.
It seems you have a problem with Mr. S exercising his free speech rights. He took you to task and you apparently cannot take the verbal heat. Let us not forget what the beloved Harry Truman said about heat in the kitchen. If you can’t stand it, get out!
Mr. S is never wrong about politicians. He has characterized you as a Horse’s Ass. Wear the title proudly for he has dissected your persona, motives, philosophy and political bearing. If he says you are a Horse’s Ass, then you are!
Please be mindful that the United States Constitution still is the law of the land. Politicians need to be prepared to bear the cross of criticism; and in your case face the searing truth that you are a deficient, obnoxious, liberal with no moral compass. Read on below.
Sincerely,
ML
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Sent via email to: 4 September 2008
Detective Mahoney
Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office
201 N. Dixie Hwy.
West Palm Beach, FL 33401
Dear Detective Mahoney:
I’m dropping you a note from my home/work in Yekaterinburg , Russia . Russia as you may be reading is not the most democratic place these days. Russian leaders have a problem with other countries around them exercising the principles of democracy e.g. the Georgian mess and the pending Ukrainian mess. Let’s hope that South Florida never reaches the level of control on speech that I see on a daily basis here in Russia .
I believe you have been in contact with Mr. KS of Ft. Lauderdale regarding his recent verbal broadsides against Palm Beach County Commissioner Addie Greene; a colossal HORSE’S ASS if there ever was one!
A few things about Mr. S: He is an originalist in his ideas on how our government is supposed to work - his thoughts are not unlike those of the Constitutional framers or more contemporarily Judge Robert Bork or Supreme Court Justice Anton Scalia. Second he is a brilliant thinker; he runs circles around all who have the pleasure of knowing him. He is a person who ponders things not in the context of the pop culture but in the perspective of the ages. Third, like Rush Limbaugh he is a harmless little fuzz ball and would not harm even a flea. Ms. Greene need only expect a tongue lashing from Mr. S and not the real thing; though it could be argued she deserves it! Fourth he is a huge supporter of law enforcement and has taken offense at Ms. Greene’s comment that police are killers.
Know that he does periodically correspond with politicians, usually those of the liberal stripe, whom he deems needing a trip to the proverbial wood shed for a proper verbal thrashing. Are you as a sworn officer, one who is obliged and (hopefully) enthusiastically supporting the United State Constitution, having a problem with Mr. S corresponding with Addie Greene? Is it now a crime to tell a politician that you disagree with him/her? As a former resident of South Florida Addie Greene’s case is unique and the concepts Mr. S raises about her comment may be beyond her grasp; a mentally deficient public servant if there ever was one and a dopey liberal to boot!
Let’s try and keep all this in perspective. Mr. S is a strong believer in the Constitution and the rights it affords concerning free speech. Mr. S is able to do what I am not currently able to do in Russia and that is to voice an opinion. Do you have a problem with Mr. S’s right to exercise free speech? Addie Greene is not unlike a boil you might develop on your ass that needs to be (verbally) lanced. There is no better man to perform the surgery than KS.
On a lighter note if you are interested in having an education on Single Malt Scotch Whiskies, KS is your go-to guy. He can be your perfect drinking companion and an educator on the history, lore and best brands of Single Malts. He is truly a remarkable fellow; some may call a Renaissance man and one that Addie Greene may want to listen to more closely. He has great ideas and a marvelous sense of humor to boot.
Best regards from Mother Russia,
ML
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Thanks, ML.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Senator Joseph Biden
September 2, 2008
Senator Joseph Biden
@ Obama for President
P.O. Box 8102
Chicago, Illinois 6080
RE: Erratum – Ouch!
Senator Biden,
I sent a letter to you yesterday [copy enclosed] in which I committed a gross error. Even though it was an error of omission it rankles still. An example of “Homer nods” but an error none the less.
In the letter dated September 1, 2008 I said “I don’t like motor mouthed middle age Roman Catholics who think they can pick and choose without consequences which Church doctrines they can safely believe in”. What I meant to say was “I don’t like mush brained motor mouthed middle aged Roman Catholics who think they can pick and choose without consequences which Church doctrines they can safely believe in”. I am sure you can see the difference the exclusion of “mush brained” made. The inclusion of “mush brained” raises it to a different level, right?
For a man of your IQ it would be no small thing. I appreciate your patience and understanding in this matter.
Senator Joseph Biden
@ Obama for President
P.O. Box 8102
Chicago, Illinois 6080
RE: Erratum – Ouch!
Senator Biden,
I sent a letter to you yesterday [copy enclosed] in which I committed a gross error. Even though it was an error of omission it rankles still. An example of “Homer nods” but an error none the less.
In the letter dated September 1, 2008 I said “I don’t like motor mouthed middle age Roman Catholics who think they can pick and choose without consequences which Church doctrines they can safely believe in”. What I meant to say was “I don’t like mush brained motor mouthed middle aged Roman Catholics who think they can pick and choose without consequences which Church doctrines they can safely believe in”. I am sure you can see the difference the exclusion of “mush brained” made. The inclusion of “mush brained” raises it to a different level, right?
For a man of your IQ it would be no small thing. I appreciate your patience and understanding in this matter.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Senator Joseph Biden
September 1, 2008
Senator Joseph Biden
@Obama for President
P.O. Box 8102
Chicago, Illinois 60680
RE: About your high IQ…
Senator Biden,
“John McCain’s new VP nominee seems like a very engaging
person. But I’ve got to say, she’s opposed – like John McCain –
to equal pay for equal work. That doesn’t make much sense to me.”
Yesterday
You
You and Hillary Clinton are United States Senators. Are you paid more because you have a prostate gland? Is she paid less because she has a cervix? The world wonders.
Your wife has some kind of a doctorate in education. The practical effect of that is that she would probably need a blood hound, a flash light, and a GPS to find a class room.
Let’s use Delaware as an example. A 5th grade English teacher, a 10th grade math teacher, an 8th grade science teacher, and a 3rd grade language arts teacher are hired by the same school district on the same day. They were all graduated from the same school with the same degree and with the same grades. Two of the teachers are male; ergo, two aren’t.
Is there a school district in Delaware that pays the males more? The world wonders.
That discrimination exists is an undeniable fact.
I don’t like motor mouthed middle age Irishmen who call themselves Roman Catholics who think they can pick and choose without consequences which Church doctrines they can safely believe in. The reason I don’t like them is simple. They think no one is looking or listening.
“Halfway through my journey I found myself in the dark wood of error.” Good advice when it was first given; better advice now.
I am sure in your instance there is a long gone Norbertine monk from Archmere Academy – Remember? – who is saying “Mr. Biden, that’s not what I taught you. Come back before it is too late. Meanwhile, I’ll pray for you. That sound you hear, the one that never goes away, is the Hound hot on your trail. Remember, Mr. Biden?”
Kimberly Brooks, apparently this week’s peripatetic “paradigmatic template” for modern American Liberal uterine perpetually caterwauling hecates, says of Governor Palin “…but her hair HAS GOT TO GO.” Perhaps it is a reverse Samson shtick but if it goes I urge her to send her shorn tresses to you. Who says Republicans don’t believe in recycling?
Senator B. Hussein Obama chose for his running mate [that’s you, Senator] someone who cheated in college, plagiarized political speeches, and chose to confront his folliclely challenged skull with all the forces that modern medicine could muster. [That’s you, Senator]
Would she have to report her fully depreciated hair as a campaign contribution?
As to your high IQ…What color is an orange? Too tough? How do you spell TV?
Senator Joseph Biden
@Obama for President
P.O. Box 8102
Chicago, Illinois 60680
RE: About your high IQ…
Senator Biden,
“John McCain’s new VP nominee seems like a very engaging
person. But I’ve got to say, she’s opposed – like John McCain –
to equal pay for equal work. That doesn’t make much sense to me.”
Yesterday
You
You and Hillary Clinton are United States Senators. Are you paid more because you have a prostate gland? Is she paid less because she has a cervix? The world wonders.
Your wife has some kind of a doctorate in education. The practical effect of that is that she would probably need a blood hound, a flash light, and a GPS to find a class room.
Let’s use Delaware as an example. A 5th grade English teacher, a 10th grade math teacher, an 8th grade science teacher, and a 3rd grade language arts teacher are hired by the same school district on the same day. They were all graduated from the same school with the same degree and with the same grades. Two of the teachers are male; ergo, two aren’t.
Is there a school district in Delaware that pays the males more? The world wonders.
That discrimination exists is an undeniable fact.
I don’t like motor mouthed middle age Irishmen who call themselves Roman Catholics who think they can pick and choose without consequences which Church doctrines they can safely believe in. The reason I don’t like them is simple. They think no one is looking or listening.
“Halfway through my journey I found myself in the dark wood of error.” Good advice when it was first given; better advice now.
I am sure in your instance there is a long gone Norbertine monk from Archmere Academy – Remember? – who is saying “Mr. Biden, that’s not what I taught you. Come back before it is too late. Meanwhile, I’ll pray for you. That sound you hear, the one that never goes away, is the Hound hot on your trail. Remember, Mr. Biden?”
Kimberly Brooks, apparently this week’s peripatetic “paradigmatic template” for modern American Liberal uterine perpetually caterwauling hecates, says of Governor Palin “…but her hair HAS GOT TO GO.” Perhaps it is a reverse Samson shtick but if it goes I urge her to send her shorn tresses to you. Who says Republicans don’t believe in recycling?
Senator B. Hussein Obama chose for his running mate [that’s you, Senator] someone who cheated in college, plagiarized political speeches, and chose to confront his folliclely challenged skull with all the forces that modern medicine could muster. [That’s you, Senator]
Would she have to report her fully depreciated hair as a campaign contribution?
As to your high IQ…What color is an orange? Too tough? How do you spell TV?
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
The Editor, The Sun-Sentinel
August 26, 2008
The Editor
The Sun-Sentinel
200 East Las Olas Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida 33301
RE: Who says newspapers can’t be fun or, as Nat Hentoff says, “Free speech for me but not for thee”
Sirs,
I was in Texas a few months ago when a Black Dallas County Commissioner accused a fellow Commissioner – Yes, he was White – of being a racist because he used the term “black hole” when describing the County budget.
A few years ago a Black District of Columbia Commissioner tried to have a city employee – Yes, he was White – fired because he used the word “niggardly”, a word that he used quite correctly.
A sitting United States Senator from Virginia uses the word “macaca” and was last seen orbiting one of Jupiter’s minor moons. [Apparently it is OK to use substitutes for “macaca” in Delaware]
Broward County is the “paradigmatic template” for modern American Liberalism. There are districts here that would elect O.J. Simpson. If he’s not available on Election Day the other Simpson, Homer, would do just as well. The mush brained modern American Liberals here would vote for Doctor Mengele because of his progressive views on abortion. The only way a RINO Republican gets to a county wide office is if his Democratic predecessor is dumber than a box of hammers [Oliphant] or is a confessed felon [Jenne or Cowan]
Political correctness even caused the nickname of Cardinal Gibbons High School to morph from Redskins to Chiefs. [The city of Plantation, Plantation High School, and its nickname, The Colonels is a subject for a different forum]
Thus, when I saw this morning’s headline
“HER TIME TO SHINE”
featuring a photo of Michelle Obama I was convinced that aliens had taken control of the Sentinel’s news room.
I know that hard times are here for the newspaper business. The idea of a business entity paying its own way is anathema to people in the business, particularly in the editorial offices. The Sun-Sentinel has a Big Boss Man in Chicago who knows, at the end of the day, that debits must equal credits. Exempt for a very, very long time from the rules governing gravity it must be sad for journalists to see the Gods of the Copy Book Headings sitting on the sidelines, tsk tsking with that “I told you so” attitude, keeping score.
I guess you thought
“HER TIME TO SHINE”
would pass unnoticed.
It didn’t.
I take the headline as further proof of “eclectic indignation”.
Jesse Jackson says he wants to “cut Senator B. Hussein’s nut out”. Senator Robert Byrd, a Democrat from West Virginia, a man whose resume includes a stint as a Junior Kleagle in the KuKluxKlan, goes on national TV and twice uses the “dreaded ‘N’ word”, a word that no White man dare say. His penalty for so saying it was …was…nothing. In fact he is regularly called a modern day Cicero. [Hopefully the reference is geographical, not historical] Senator Biden, proof positive that it is OK to cheat in college and in public life, called Senator B. Hussein Obama “clean and articulate”. Jimmy Carter, the worst President of the 20th century, this morning called Senator B. Hussein Obama a “black boy”. Imagine if Rush Limbaugh had said that? The press would have lynched him.
If it is a “dark and stormy night” when this year’s version of the Sermon on the Mount is given on Thursday night will that be proof of racism?
I imagine that your continuing disregard for language is further proof that, indeed, the jig is not up.
The Editor
The Sun-Sentinel
200 East Las Olas Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida 33301
RE: Who says newspapers can’t be fun or, as Nat Hentoff says, “Free speech for me but not for thee”
Sirs,
I was in Texas a few months ago when a Black Dallas County Commissioner accused a fellow Commissioner – Yes, he was White – of being a racist because he used the term “black hole” when describing the County budget.
A few years ago a Black District of Columbia Commissioner tried to have a city employee – Yes, he was White – fired because he used the word “niggardly”, a word that he used quite correctly.
A sitting United States Senator from Virginia uses the word “macaca” and was last seen orbiting one of Jupiter’s minor moons. [Apparently it is OK to use substitutes for “macaca” in Delaware]
Broward County is the “paradigmatic template” for modern American Liberalism. There are districts here that would elect O.J. Simpson. If he’s not available on Election Day the other Simpson, Homer, would do just as well. The mush brained modern American Liberals here would vote for Doctor Mengele because of his progressive views on abortion. The only way a RINO Republican gets to a county wide office is if his Democratic predecessor is dumber than a box of hammers [Oliphant] or is a confessed felon [Jenne or Cowan]
Political correctness even caused the nickname of Cardinal Gibbons High School to morph from Redskins to Chiefs. [The city of Plantation, Plantation High School, and its nickname, The Colonels is a subject for a different forum]
Thus, when I saw this morning’s headline
“HER TIME TO SHINE”
featuring a photo of Michelle Obama I was convinced that aliens had taken control of the Sentinel’s news room.
I know that hard times are here for the newspaper business. The idea of a business entity paying its own way is anathema to people in the business, particularly in the editorial offices. The Sun-Sentinel has a Big Boss Man in Chicago who knows, at the end of the day, that debits must equal credits. Exempt for a very, very long time from the rules governing gravity it must be sad for journalists to see the Gods of the Copy Book Headings sitting on the sidelines, tsk tsking with that “I told you so” attitude, keeping score.
I guess you thought
“HER TIME TO SHINE”
would pass unnoticed.
It didn’t.
I take the headline as further proof of “eclectic indignation”.
Jesse Jackson says he wants to “cut Senator B. Hussein’s nut out”. Senator Robert Byrd, a Democrat from West Virginia, a man whose resume includes a stint as a Junior Kleagle in the KuKluxKlan, goes on national TV and twice uses the “dreaded ‘N’ word”, a word that no White man dare say. His penalty for so saying it was …was…nothing. In fact he is regularly called a modern day Cicero. [Hopefully the reference is geographical, not historical] Senator Biden, proof positive that it is OK to cheat in college and in public life, called Senator B. Hussein Obama “clean and articulate”. Jimmy Carter, the worst President of the 20th century, this morning called Senator B. Hussein Obama a “black boy”. Imagine if Rush Limbaugh had said that? The press would have lynched him.
If it is a “dark and stormy night” when this year’s version of the Sermon on the Mount is given on Thursday night will that be proof of racism?
I imagine that your continuing disregard for language is further proof that, indeed, the jig is not up.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Senator B. Hussein Obama
August 24, 2008
Senator B. Hussein Obama
P.O. Box 8102
Chicago, Illinois 60680
RE: Affirmative Action – Who says it doesn’t work?
Senator O and the story of same continues…
Correct me if I’m wrong but haven’t you said…
#1 – “There are at least 57 states.”
#2 – “10,000 people died in one tornado in Kansas last year.”
#3 – “Two terms in the White House will take 10 years.”
You have two degrees from Ivy League schools. If you said the above you will be the best example of Bell Curve grading since he invented the telephone. A “culturally literate” adult knows how many states there are; he knows that 10,000 people didn’t die in Kansas last year; he knows that one term in the White House is 4 years, not 5 years.
No wonder you never had a real job.
“Community organizer”? What the Hell does that mean?
“Illinois legislator”? Daley could have elected OJ Simpson in your district.
It gets better.
You picked Curly Biden to be your designated funeral attendee. Inside work, no heavy lifting, lots and lots of frequent flyer miles. Plus, the Secret Service gets to mow his lawn.
You may note have been aware of it but he, like his good friend Lard Kennedy, is “ethically challenged”. He once was “follicleley challenged” but steroids, possum pelts – a major Delaware export, Gorilla Glue, Velcro, and two-sided Duck tape helped him overcome it.
His defense for cheating in Law School was “Nobody told me you had to use quotations and foot notes” seems to have worked. Weren’t you editor of the Harvard Law Review? How did you get that job?
Acorns seldom fall far from the tree.
When he was running in the Democratic Presidential primary in 1988 – that’s the one where Albert Arnold Gore, Jr. introduced Willie Horton to Amerika, remember? – he cheated yet again.
If he had taken for his own use without attribution as to authorship any number of British politicians other than the one he stole his lines from it would have almost forgivable. The words of Margaret Thatcher, Harold Macmillan, Winston Churchill, David Lloyd George, Benjamin Disraeli, The Iron Duke, Edmund Burke, either of the Pitts, even Cromwell would have lessened the blow.
He chose Neil Kinnock.
If Kinnock had been Prime Minister in 1982 the Argentineans would not have invaded the Falkland Islands. They would have sunk H.M.S. Victory en route to occupying the Tower of London, razing Parliament, setting Sherwood Forest on fire, and converting Queen Elizabeth to Roman Catholicism. Kinnock would have been sent to Dartmoor Prison to start anew as a Spanish teacher.
If he had been Prime Minister in the mid-80s the only way Pershing missiles would have been allowed in England would have been if they could only fly West.
I offer your example and his that Affirmative Action, despites its warts, works.
It appears that, 7 years of Ivy League education notwithstanding, you don’t know what color an orange is. Let it be said of Fuzzy Joe, and if he is the best that the Fighting Blue Hens of Delaware can produce maybe DUPONT and MBNA should literally take over the state that they already own, that he couldn’t lie straight in bed.
Boobs and charlatans have to have a chance to “get lucky in life’s lottery”. You won’t have to campaign for them. You and Pal Joey own them.
Senator B. Hussein Obama
P.O. Box 8102
Chicago, Illinois 60680
RE: Affirmative Action – Who says it doesn’t work?
Senator O and the story of same continues…
Correct me if I’m wrong but haven’t you said…
#1 – “There are at least 57 states.”
#2 – “10,000 people died in one tornado in Kansas last year.”
#3 – “Two terms in the White House will take 10 years.”
You have two degrees from Ivy League schools. If you said the above you will be the best example of Bell Curve grading since he invented the telephone. A “culturally literate” adult knows how many states there are; he knows that 10,000 people didn’t die in Kansas last year; he knows that one term in the White House is 4 years, not 5 years.
No wonder you never had a real job.
“Community organizer”? What the Hell does that mean?
“Illinois legislator”? Daley could have elected OJ Simpson in your district.
It gets better.
You picked Curly Biden to be your designated funeral attendee. Inside work, no heavy lifting, lots and lots of frequent flyer miles. Plus, the Secret Service gets to mow his lawn.
You may note have been aware of it but he, like his good friend Lard Kennedy, is “ethically challenged”. He once was “follicleley challenged” but steroids, possum pelts – a major Delaware export, Gorilla Glue, Velcro, and two-sided Duck tape helped him overcome it.
His defense for cheating in Law School was “Nobody told me you had to use quotations and foot notes” seems to have worked. Weren’t you editor of the Harvard Law Review? How did you get that job?
Acorns seldom fall far from the tree.
When he was running in the Democratic Presidential primary in 1988 – that’s the one where Albert Arnold Gore, Jr. introduced Willie Horton to Amerika, remember? – he cheated yet again.
If he had taken for his own use without attribution as to authorship any number of British politicians other than the one he stole his lines from it would have almost forgivable. The words of Margaret Thatcher, Harold Macmillan, Winston Churchill, David Lloyd George, Benjamin Disraeli, The Iron Duke, Edmund Burke, either of the Pitts, even Cromwell would have lessened the blow.
He chose Neil Kinnock.
If Kinnock had been Prime Minister in 1982 the Argentineans would not have invaded the Falkland Islands. They would have sunk H.M.S. Victory en route to occupying the Tower of London, razing Parliament, setting Sherwood Forest on fire, and converting Queen Elizabeth to Roman Catholicism. Kinnock would have been sent to Dartmoor Prison to start anew as a Spanish teacher.
If he had been Prime Minister in the mid-80s the only way Pershing missiles would have been allowed in England would have been if they could only fly West.
I offer your example and his that Affirmative Action, despites its warts, works.
It appears that, 7 years of Ivy League education notwithstanding, you don’t know what color an orange is. Let it be said of Fuzzy Joe, and if he is the best that the Fighting Blue Hens of Delaware can produce maybe DUPONT and MBNA should literally take over the state that they already own, that he couldn’t lie straight in bed.
Boobs and charlatans have to have a chance to “get lucky in life’s lottery”. You won’t have to campaign for them. You and Pal Joey own them.
Governor Tim Kaine
August 24, 2008
Governor Tim Kaine
1111 East Broad Street
Richmond, Virginia 23219
RE: Time for a rhinoplasty?
Governor Kaine,
There is a magic scene in “A Man For All Seasons”.
Thomas More, knowing that the fix is in; knowing that his head is going to be chopped off asks what is around Richard Rich’s neck. It was Rich’s perjured testimony that condemned More.
“It is the seal of his office. Sir Richard Rich is to be made Attorney General for Wales”, replies the prosecutor.
“Why Richard, it profits a man nothing that he gains the whole world for the loss of his soul…but for Wales?”
You spent the better part of a month with your nose so far up Senator B. Hussein Obama’s ass that should he have belched without warning you said eructation would have sucked your septum straight out through his umbilicus.
You were really were a horse’s ass. I daresay “A Horse’s Ass For All Seasons” would not be too heady a title.
And to think that you lost the job to a dude who cheated in law school and has his hair trimmed by a Weed Whacker.
What a putz!
Governor Tim Kaine
1111 East Broad Street
Richmond, Virginia 23219
RE: Time for a rhinoplasty?
Governor Kaine,
There is a magic scene in “A Man For All Seasons”.
Thomas More, knowing that the fix is in; knowing that his head is going to be chopped off asks what is around Richard Rich’s neck. It was Rich’s perjured testimony that condemned More.
“It is the seal of his office. Sir Richard Rich is to be made Attorney General for Wales”, replies the prosecutor.
“Why Richard, it profits a man nothing that he gains the whole world for the loss of his soul…but for Wales?”
You spent the better part of a month with your nose so far up Senator B. Hussein Obama’s ass that should he have belched without warning you said eructation would have sucked your septum straight out through his umbilicus.
You were really were a horse’s ass. I daresay “A Horse’s Ass For All Seasons” would not be too heady a title.
And to think that you lost the job to a dude who cheated in law school and has his hair trimmed by a Weed Whacker.
What a putz!
Detective Jim Mahoney
August 24, 2008
Detective Jim Mahoney
201 North Dixie Highway
West Palm Beach, Florida 33401
RE: “Policemen are killers” – What am I missing here”
Detective Mahoney,
On June 25, 2008 [the anniversary of the Battle of the Little Big Horn] I returned your phone call regarding a letter I sent to Palm Beach County Commissioner Addie Green.
You suggested that I “lay off her”. You said that I had “more than enough ass holes in Broward County” that I didn’t have to go to Palm Beach. Further, you said that the lady had received “numerous death threats”. As to the later I asked how many death threat letters are signed and have the senders name and address like mine. As to the former I agreed and told you that I would give her a month off.
She got two.
“Policemen are killers.”
Palm Beach County Commissioner Addie Greene
That ended my self imposed moratorium.
The woman issues a blood libel against policemen.
Was I the only one to respond?
If so it says more for the people of Palm Beach than it does about Commissioner Greene.
I remind you that John Adams and Thomas Jefferson attacked each other using words that make mine seem like a church social. Lincoln was called a “baboon”. George Bush is compared to Hitler.
I called Commissioner Greene a HORSE’S ASS. I called her a HORSE’S ASS because every time she opens her mouth she says to the world of rational, literate adults, a world with which she is not the least bit familiar, I AM A HORSE’S ASS. GAZE ON ME IN ALL MY SPLENDOR!
Is there no one in Palm Beach County to say so? Am I to be the only paladin for “The Thin Blue Line”? Why is there no “1013” coming out of the Sheriff’s office? Are we to be like sheep in the face of wolves hoping that our silence will save us from evil?
The strongest chains are the ones we forge ourselves and put on voluntarily. I choose to be free of them. I told you of a visit from the Broward County Sheriff’s deputy about a letter I wrote to an elected official here. The first thing he said to me was “You’re not in trouble”. I said, “What do you mean I’m not in trouble. You have a badge and a fucking gun. What do you mean I’m not in trouble?”
I will send her a copy of my note to you.
There is no sense in being a little or local HORSE’S ASS. I will introduce her to the world as the paradigmatic template for – You guessed it! – HORSE’S ASSES. That, plus the still weak dollar, should revive Palm Beach real estate.
Since I am Irish and since I am a frequent user of their products I will petition the Guinness Book of Records for a new category. You guessed it.
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
Palm Beach County Commissioner Addie Greene, a name that will live in infamy, soon to be internationally known, came by her laurels the old fashioned way. She earned them.
PS – I tried to return your call. Alas, I copied the number incorrectly. Oh well, “Homer nods”.
Detective Jim Mahoney
201 North Dixie Highway
West Palm Beach, Florida 33401
RE: “Policemen are killers” – What am I missing here”
Detective Mahoney,
On June 25, 2008 [the anniversary of the Battle of the Little Big Horn] I returned your phone call regarding a letter I sent to Palm Beach County Commissioner Addie Green.
You suggested that I “lay off her”. You said that I had “more than enough ass holes in Broward County” that I didn’t have to go to Palm Beach. Further, you said that the lady had received “numerous death threats”. As to the later I asked how many death threat letters are signed and have the senders name and address like mine. As to the former I agreed and told you that I would give her a month off.
She got two.
“Policemen are killers.”
Palm Beach County Commissioner Addie Greene
That ended my self imposed moratorium.
The woman issues a blood libel against policemen.
Was I the only one to respond?
If so it says more for the people of Palm Beach than it does about Commissioner Greene.
I remind you that John Adams and Thomas Jefferson attacked each other using words that make mine seem like a church social. Lincoln was called a “baboon”. George Bush is compared to Hitler.
I called Commissioner Greene a HORSE’S ASS. I called her a HORSE’S ASS because every time she opens her mouth she says to the world of rational, literate adults, a world with which she is not the least bit familiar, I AM A HORSE’S ASS. GAZE ON ME IN ALL MY SPLENDOR!
Is there no one in Palm Beach County to say so? Am I to be the only paladin for “The Thin Blue Line”? Why is there no “1013” coming out of the Sheriff’s office? Are we to be like sheep in the face of wolves hoping that our silence will save us from evil?
The strongest chains are the ones we forge ourselves and put on voluntarily. I choose to be free of them. I told you of a visit from the Broward County Sheriff’s deputy about a letter I wrote to an elected official here. The first thing he said to me was “You’re not in trouble”. I said, “What do you mean I’m not in trouble. You have a badge and a fucking gun. What do you mean I’m not in trouble?”
I will send her a copy of my note to you.
There is no sense in being a little or local HORSE’S ASS. I will introduce her to the world as the paradigmatic template for – You guessed it! – HORSE’S ASSES. That, plus the still weak dollar, should revive Palm Beach real estate.
Since I am Irish and since I am a frequent user of their products I will petition the Guinness Book of Records for a new category. You guessed it.
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
Palm Beach County Commissioner Addie Greene, a name that will live in infamy, soon to be internationally known, came by her laurels the old fashioned way. She earned them.
PS – I tried to return your call. Alas, I copied the number incorrectly. Oh well, “Homer nods”.
Senator Joseph Biden again
August 23, 2008
Senator Joseph Biden
1105 N. Market Street #101
Wilmington, DE 19801
RE: That hair, that smile – God’s gifts to an aging curmudgeon
Senator Biden,
Coach Jimmy Johnson isn’t running and Senator John “Pretty Boy” Edwards has gone to the island of lying, wick dipping politicians. “It’s OK to do the horizontal tango. My wife is cancer free.” Truly, a memorable pick up line.
That leaves you.
Is you hair the result of a Chia Pete transplant or a daily Gorilla Glues paste on and comb over? Do you and Senator Levin of Michigan, a man whose comb over begins in his arm pit, check each other’s six before going on the floor of the Senate? Do you think that Senator B. Hussein Obama, AKA “Bambi”, would look more favorably on you if you were to arrange your partly inorganic hair in corn rows?
There is a rumor that your teeth were made from ivory. If so I hope it was from some old circus elephant that died of dementia in Kansas rather than some young buck that was killed by one of Bambi’s half brothers.
Speaking of that, here’s a sporting proposition. Bambi has more siblings than John McCain has houses. I’ll put a few bob on the former. Care to get a bet down?
Is it true you have a BOTOX IV once a month to keep that smile going? Did you ever pose for a collection of Victor Hugo books?
I’ll be asking questions from time to time. Senator J. Forbes Kerry liked them. He was a fun guy too. Speaking of houses do you suppose we could send some of the exponentially expanding Obama family to any of the vacant ones? What ever happened to him?
You live in a state that Tiger Woods could get across 2 under par. Why in the name of carbon footprints everywhere do you 2 offices?
Senator Joseph Biden
1105 N. Market Street #101
Wilmington, DE 19801
RE: That hair, that smile – God’s gifts to an aging curmudgeon
Senator Biden,
Coach Jimmy Johnson isn’t running and Senator John “Pretty Boy” Edwards has gone to the island of lying, wick dipping politicians. “It’s OK to do the horizontal tango. My wife is cancer free.” Truly, a memorable pick up line.
That leaves you.
Is you hair the result of a Chia Pete transplant or a daily Gorilla Glues paste on and comb over? Do you and Senator Levin of Michigan, a man whose comb over begins in his arm pit, check each other’s six before going on the floor of the Senate? Do you think that Senator B. Hussein Obama, AKA “Bambi”, would look more favorably on you if you were to arrange your partly inorganic hair in corn rows?
There is a rumor that your teeth were made from ivory. If so I hope it was from some old circus elephant that died of dementia in Kansas rather than some young buck that was killed by one of Bambi’s half brothers.
Speaking of that, here’s a sporting proposition. Bambi has more siblings than John McCain has houses. I’ll put a few bob on the former. Care to get a bet down?
Is it true you have a BOTOX IV once a month to keep that smile going? Did you ever pose for a collection of Victor Hugo books?
I’ll be asking questions from time to time. Senator J. Forbes Kerry liked them. He was a fun guy too. Speaking of houses do you suppose we could send some of the exponentially expanding Obama family to any of the vacant ones? What ever happened to him?
You live in a state that Tiger Woods could get across 2 under par. Why in the name of carbon footprints everywhere do you 2 offices?
Senator Joseph Biden
August 23, 2008
Senator Joseph Biden
24 NW Front Street #101
Milford, DE 19963
RE: Happy Days ARE here again!
Senator Biden,
“Character”, responded James Madison when asked what is the most important trait to look for in a candidate for public office. “Character is all.”
Let the record show that there is no hint that James Madison ever spent time in a coal mine nor did he ever use without attribution the phrases of another politician. May I suggest that should you feel the need for grabbing a line or two from British politicians you should try Churchill? Pitt would be a good choice. So would Edmund Burke. Mrs. Thatcher would be fine also. Disraeli. The Iron Duke. Even David Lloyd George. You choose Neil Kinnock. The only consolation there is that it wasn’t Aneurin Bevan or Tony Benn. It still smells.
Back to character.
Would it not be the honorable thing to do, would it not be a sign of your character for you to resign immediately from the United States Senate?
Senator Dole did in 1996; Senator Johnson did not in 1960.
John Adams said “we can never be too curious about the character of public men”.
Your choice.
“Cactus Jack” – John Nance Garner – said that the Vice Presidency “Ain’t worth a bucket of warm spit”. Actually he didn’t say “spit”; he said “piss”.
At last! A man equal to the task.
Senator Joseph Biden
24 NW Front Street #101
Milford, DE 19963
RE: Happy Days ARE here again!
Senator Biden,
“Character”, responded James Madison when asked what is the most important trait to look for in a candidate for public office. “Character is all.”
Let the record show that there is no hint that James Madison ever spent time in a coal mine nor did he ever use without attribution the phrases of another politician. May I suggest that should you feel the need for grabbing a line or two from British politicians you should try Churchill? Pitt would be a good choice. So would Edmund Burke. Mrs. Thatcher would be fine also. Disraeli. The Iron Duke. Even David Lloyd George. You choose Neil Kinnock. The only consolation there is that it wasn’t Aneurin Bevan or Tony Benn. It still smells.
Back to character.
Would it not be the honorable thing to do, would it not be a sign of your character for you to resign immediately from the United States Senate?
Senator Dole did in 1996; Senator Johnson did not in 1960.
John Adams said “we can never be too curious about the character of public men”.
Your choice.
“Cactus Jack” – John Nance Garner – said that the Vice Presidency “Ain’t worth a bucket of warm spit”. Actually he didn’t say “spit”; he said “piss”.
At last! A man equal to the task.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Senator B. Hussein Obama
August 18, 2008
Senator B. Hussein Obama
P.O. Box 8102
Chicago, Illinois 60680
RE: Pass the gravy, please
Senator Bambi
Do you remember Julianne Malveaux?
She was an ink stained wench writing for USA-Today when Clarence Thomas became Justice Thomas.
She was the gentle lady who hoped that Justice Thomas’s wife would feed him foods rich in cholesterol, high in carbohydrates, and approaching outer space in fats.
She wrote this because she wanted him to die.
I don’t want you to die.
In fact, I think you are so precious that I have taken to calling you “Bambi”.
Here’s the problem.
You’ve got to do something with those ears.
If the aforementioned Ms. Malveaux were to don her Emeril Lagasse costume and slip past the Secret Service and take over your kitchen – Does Michelle cook? – for about two weeks you would morph from “Bambi” to “Dumbo”. She couldn’t help herself. A gravy IV; sweet potato pie avec chicken necks; corn bread milk shakes laced with lard. Pastor Wrong Wright could hear your arteries harden from downtown.
Here’s the question that Rick Warren didn’t ask
Do you want Justice Thomas to die?
Senator B. Hussein Obama
P.O. Box 8102
Chicago, Illinois 60680
RE: Pass the gravy, please
Senator Bambi
Do you remember Julianne Malveaux?
She was an ink stained wench writing for USA-Today when Clarence Thomas became Justice Thomas.
She was the gentle lady who hoped that Justice Thomas’s wife would feed him foods rich in cholesterol, high in carbohydrates, and approaching outer space in fats.
She wrote this because she wanted him to die.
I don’t want you to die.
In fact, I think you are so precious that I have taken to calling you “Bambi”.
Here’s the problem.
You’ve got to do something with those ears.
If the aforementioned Ms. Malveaux were to don her Emeril Lagasse costume and slip past the Secret Service and take over your kitchen – Does Michelle cook? – for about two weeks you would morph from “Bambi” to “Dumbo”. She couldn’t help herself. A gravy IV; sweet potato pie avec chicken necks; corn bread milk shakes laced with lard. Pastor Wrong Wright could hear your arteries harden from downtown.
Here’s the question that Rick Warren didn’t ask
Do you want Justice Thomas to die?
Monday, August 18, 2008
Linda Robertson, The Miami Herald
August 16, 2008
Linda Robertson
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, Florida 33132-1693
RE: It seems like old times – Gold medals and metal heads as revealed, perhaps inadvertently, by you in today’s Miami Herald, dateline The Hidden Kingdom.
Ms. Robertson,
In a synopsis of previous contenders for Greatest Olympian Ever you say
“Greg Louganis: Four gold medals in diving, even
when he gashed his head open while hiding
the secret of his HIV infection.”
The Miami Herald
Page 7D
Today
You
When last we corresponded the front page of the New York Times was daily divided by the two most important questions facing the country in 2003: viz.; Should the United States invade Iraq and Should chickies tee them up in the Masters.
5 years later American is still in Iraq and urinals still stand unchallenged as the primary bladder emptying receptacle in Augusta. I know “The more things change the more they remain the same” sounds much better in French. The problem is that I still don’t much like the Froggies so I’ll leave it in English.
Back to Louganis.
Did he gash his head because he had HIV?
Did he gash his head for fear of someone finding out he had HIV?
Did he gash his head because divers sometimes do that?
There was a time in this country when most people believed that tomatoes were poisonous.
There was a time in this country when the consensus of science – and if you ever need an example of an oxymoron feel free to use “consensus of science” – that “Global Cooling” would cause – Honest Injun! – The world to end. [Vide – “The Population Bomb” by Paul Ehrlich, naturally PhD]
There was a time in this country when reasonable, rational people thought that you could catch HIV through casual contact. We now know that it takes more than a handshake. It takes up close and personal, a one on one exchange of personal body fluids. For the purposes of this discussion the body fluid in question is blood.
Thus, the real story of Greg Louganis was/is simple.
On his quest for the Gold he suffered an athlete’s wound. [I have small scar at the base of my thumb that I got in a football scrimmage when Eisenhower was President and the country lived in a mortal peril caused by the “missile gap”.]
By failing to disclose his condition [a material fact that if this discussion involved securities such a failure to disclose would have made him liable for fraud charges] he placed his first responder care givers – a phrase that didn’t exist when he dove for a living – at risk. The fact that the risk may not have been real is irrelevant. The people who came first out of the trenches to help him thought it was.
People and countries act on perceptions. It is in their rational self interest to do so. In an age where perception is reality it would be foolish not to.
Meanwhile, I suggest a primer on traditional Logic for the ride back from Winkie Land. Greg’s gash, in your story, is what is known as a non sequitur.
If there is a suggestion box for ink stained wenches to drop some thoughts into may I suggest Billie Jean King playing Federer? The age difference is about the same when she played Bobby Riggs. If I am to believe TV she looks like she no longer is in the race to be the Pillsbury Dough Girl. Lace them up and see what happens.
PS – Al Oerter neither medaled nor competed in the Olympics in the shot put. I guess the Yellow Peril shut down Google.
Linda Robertson
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, Florida 33132-1693
RE: It seems like old times – Gold medals and metal heads as revealed, perhaps inadvertently, by you in today’s Miami Herald, dateline The Hidden Kingdom.
Ms. Robertson,
In a synopsis of previous contenders for Greatest Olympian Ever you say
“Greg Louganis: Four gold medals in diving, even
when he gashed his head open while hiding
the secret of his HIV infection.”
The Miami Herald
Page 7D
Today
You
When last we corresponded the front page of the New York Times was daily divided by the two most important questions facing the country in 2003: viz.; Should the United States invade Iraq and Should chickies tee them up in the Masters.
5 years later American is still in Iraq and urinals still stand unchallenged as the primary bladder emptying receptacle in Augusta. I know “The more things change the more they remain the same” sounds much better in French. The problem is that I still don’t much like the Froggies so I’ll leave it in English.
Back to Louganis.
Did he gash his head because he had HIV?
Did he gash his head for fear of someone finding out he had HIV?
Did he gash his head because divers sometimes do that?
There was a time in this country when most people believed that tomatoes were poisonous.
There was a time in this country when the consensus of science – and if you ever need an example of an oxymoron feel free to use “consensus of science” – that “Global Cooling” would cause – Honest Injun! – The world to end. [Vide – “The Population Bomb” by Paul Ehrlich, naturally PhD]
There was a time in this country when reasonable, rational people thought that you could catch HIV through casual contact. We now know that it takes more than a handshake. It takes up close and personal, a one on one exchange of personal body fluids. For the purposes of this discussion the body fluid in question is blood.
Thus, the real story of Greg Louganis was/is simple.
On his quest for the Gold he suffered an athlete’s wound. [I have small scar at the base of my thumb that I got in a football scrimmage when Eisenhower was President and the country lived in a mortal peril caused by the “missile gap”.]
By failing to disclose his condition [a material fact that if this discussion involved securities such a failure to disclose would have made him liable for fraud charges] he placed his first responder care givers – a phrase that didn’t exist when he dove for a living – at risk. The fact that the risk may not have been real is irrelevant. The people who came first out of the trenches to help him thought it was.
People and countries act on perceptions. It is in their rational self interest to do so. In an age where perception is reality it would be foolish not to.
Meanwhile, I suggest a primer on traditional Logic for the ride back from Winkie Land. Greg’s gash, in your story, is what is known as a non sequitur.
If there is a suggestion box for ink stained wenches to drop some thoughts into may I suggest Billie Jean King playing Federer? The age difference is about the same when she played Bobby Riggs. If I am to believe TV she looks like she no longer is in the race to be the Pillsbury Dough Girl. Lace them up and see what happens.
PS – Al Oerter neither medaled nor competed in the Olympics in the shot put. I guess the Yellow Peril shut down Google.
Palm Beach Commissioner Addie Greene
August 17, 2008
Palm Beach Commissioner Addie Greene
301 North Olive Avenue
West Palm Beach, Florida 33401
RE: “A Policeman’s Lot is not a Happy One”
Commissioner Greene,
You said
“Policemen are killers”.
You’re right. Some policemen are killers. Also
#1 – Some Irishmen are drunks.
#2 – Some Italians are gangsters.
#3 – Some Jews are money hungry.
#4 – Some Blacks are shiftless.
#5 – Some Muslims are terrorists.
#6 – Some Frenchmen are cowards.
“A Policeman’s Lot is not a Happy One” was written by a DWEM. DWEM means Dead White European Male.
Another gift from the DWEMs, a gift with which you have no familiarity, is Logic. If I were to take away the word “some” I would be constructing a universal from a particular. That is a no-no in Logic.
Some Irishmen are drunks but I cannot say that all Irishmen are drunks. Some Blacks are shiftless but I cannot say that all Blacks are shiftless. Some Muslims are terrorists but I cannot say that all Muslims are terrorists. [If I were to use a Mrs. Clinton type answer about whether or not Senator B. Hussein Obama is a Muslim – “He’s not…as far as I know.” – I still couldn’t make all Blacks into being “shiftless”.]
Have you ever heard of the Trivium?
Am I writing too fast for you? Logic, universal, particular, Trivium can be confusing to a novice. Send a SASE. Don’t be too proud to ask for help. You’re never too old to learn.
You said “Policemen are killers”.
By opening your mouth and spewing forth the rhetorical incontinence so common of modern American Liberal politicians you remove all doubt as to whether you are a horse’s ass. In fact, your prattle stamps you a horse’s ass of Homeric proportions. [You probably guessed it. Homer was another DWEM.]
It is difficult to stand out in Palm Beach County what with Wexler the Weasel leading the way. That you have managed to steal some of his thunder is a testament to your pandering skills and to the boobs who elected you. The standard of the 2000 election, the one where supposedly smart people voted for themselves, the Union label, everybody, nobody, their hat size, or their cholesterol level has certainly been surpassed. Next year will show a dramatic increase in the IQ of the average Palm Beach voter. That’s when manatee suffrage kicks in
I am sure you are familiar with the Dallas County Commissioner who, in a moment of high dudgeon, accused a White colleague of racism because he used the term “black hole”. In your rage to utter blood libels about your policemen you may have not noticed that there is a Palm Beach County Commissioner name Koons. How you can be in the same room with him is beyond me.
I wish you continued good health. Talk about the blind leading the blind. Your boobs, jackasses, and ohmadans need you.
The last time I wrote you I had a call from the Palm Beach Sheriff’s Office about what I wrote. I have CCed them. Since the Constitution [another masterpiece by DWEMs] is observed more in the breach I close with a pop quiz about it.
Exactly what does “Congress shall make no law…” mean to you?
Here’s another that will probably cause your knickers to knot. Perhaps not a knot of Gordian proportions but certainly of wedgie saize.
“Free men speak with free tongues”
Palm Beach Commissioner Addie Greene
301 North Olive Avenue
West Palm Beach, Florida 33401
RE: “A Policeman’s Lot is not a Happy One”
Commissioner Greene,
You said
“Policemen are killers”.
You’re right. Some policemen are killers. Also
#1 – Some Irishmen are drunks.
#2 – Some Italians are gangsters.
#3 – Some Jews are money hungry.
#4 – Some Blacks are shiftless.
#5 – Some Muslims are terrorists.
#6 – Some Frenchmen are cowards.
“A Policeman’s Lot is not a Happy One” was written by a DWEM. DWEM means Dead White European Male.
Another gift from the DWEMs, a gift with which you have no familiarity, is Logic. If I were to take away the word “some” I would be constructing a universal from a particular. That is a no-no in Logic.
Some Irishmen are drunks but I cannot say that all Irishmen are drunks. Some Blacks are shiftless but I cannot say that all Blacks are shiftless. Some Muslims are terrorists but I cannot say that all Muslims are terrorists. [If I were to use a Mrs. Clinton type answer about whether or not Senator B. Hussein Obama is a Muslim – “He’s not…as far as I know.” – I still couldn’t make all Blacks into being “shiftless”.]
Have you ever heard of the Trivium?
Am I writing too fast for you? Logic, universal, particular, Trivium can be confusing to a novice. Send a SASE. Don’t be too proud to ask for help. You’re never too old to learn.
You said “Policemen are killers”.
By opening your mouth and spewing forth the rhetorical incontinence so common of modern American Liberal politicians you remove all doubt as to whether you are a horse’s ass. In fact, your prattle stamps you a horse’s ass of Homeric proportions. [You probably guessed it. Homer was another DWEM.]
It is difficult to stand out in Palm Beach County what with Wexler the Weasel leading the way. That you have managed to steal some of his thunder is a testament to your pandering skills and to the boobs who elected you. The standard of the 2000 election, the one where supposedly smart people voted for themselves, the Union label, everybody, nobody, their hat size, or their cholesterol level has certainly been surpassed. Next year will show a dramatic increase in the IQ of the average Palm Beach voter. That’s when manatee suffrage kicks in
I am sure you are familiar with the Dallas County Commissioner who, in a moment of high dudgeon, accused a White colleague of racism because he used the term “black hole”. In your rage to utter blood libels about your policemen you may have not noticed that there is a Palm Beach County Commissioner name Koons. How you can be in the same room with him is beyond me.
I wish you continued good health. Talk about the blind leading the blind. Your boobs, jackasses, and ohmadans need you.
The last time I wrote you I had a call from the Palm Beach Sheriff’s Office about what I wrote. I have CCed them. Since the Constitution [another masterpiece by DWEMs] is observed more in the breach I close with a pop quiz about it.
Exactly what does “Congress shall make no law…” mean to you?
Here’s another that will probably cause your knickers to knot. Perhaps not a knot of Gordian proportions but certainly of wedgie saize.
“Free men speak with free tongues”
Governor Tim Kaine
August 17, 2008
Governor Tim Kaine
1111 East Broad Street
Richmond, Virginia 23219
Governor Kaine,
You said
“I am glad President Medvedev agreed with
Senator Obama’s request for a ceasefire.”
I say that insulting bullshit like that should no go unrewarded.
Accordingly, I name you
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
Because it’s time for Senator B. Hussein Obama, AKA “Bambi”, to name his choice for the Vice Presidential nomination and because you have your head so far up his ass that you can see if he ever had wisdom teeth and think that no one notices I also name you
POMPOUS FART OF THE MONTH
The only thing wrong with banning literacy tests for voters is that they were not made mandatory for candidates. That is why I am not recommending a crash course in “post hoc ergo propter hoc” for the plane ride to Denver. It would be “pearls before swine”.
Alas, the best thing I can say about you is
WHAT A PUTZ!
Governor Tim Kaine
1111 East Broad Street
Richmond, Virginia 23219
Governor Kaine,
You said
“I am glad President Medvedev agreed with
Senator Obama’s request for a ceasefire.”
I say that insulting bullshit like that should no go unrewarded.
Accordingly, I name you
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
Because it’s time for Senator B. Hussein Obama, AKA “Bambi”, to name his choice for the Vice Presidential nomination and because you have your head so far up his ass that you can see if he ever had wisdom teeth and think that no one notices I also name you
POMPOUS FART OF THE MONTH
The only thing wrong with banning literacy tests for voters is that they were not made mandatory for candidates. That is why I am not recommending a crash course in “post hoc ergo propter hoc” for the plane ride to Denver. It would be “pearls before swine”.
Alas, the best thing I can say about you is
WHAT A PUTZ!
Senator B. Hussein Obama
August 14, 2008
Senator B. Hussein Obama
701 North Court Street
Marion, Illinois 62959
RE: Today’s History lessons
Senator Bambi,
Congratulations on what is turning out to be a great week! And it’s only Thursday.
The truth about campaigns is that you can always count on your enemies, mean spirited rotters all who are implacable foes of change, to do the sniveley things that make them your enemies. It’s you friends you have to worry about.
Any week that sees the Communist Party of America endorse you AND reveals that George Clooney is you secret advisor on the Mideast and body language is a week that while not equal to the first week of Creation – Did Pastor Wrong Wright ever talk about that? – certainly deserves to be bronzed.
It’s a simple segue from the former to ask if you think, as a former law school instructor, that Alger Hiss and the Rosenbergs got a fair shake.
As to Giorgio Clooney it would be wise to remember how far “earth tones” got Vice President Alpha Gump in 2000.
Enough of that useless badinage. Back to the History lesson.
“They are a far away people of whom we know nothing.”
+
“Any place is defensible if free men so desire.”
I’ll spare you the suspense. There will be no “gotcha” moments.
The first was said in Parliament in defense of the Munich Agreement, an agreement that if it saved us from World War 2 why the Hell did the Germans spend 2 years trying to sink the ship my wife’s father was on.
The second was said by Senator John Kennedy when he ran for President in 1960. It addressed the islands of Quemoy and Matsu. These islands were close enough to mainland China that they could fire artillery shells onto them which they did every other day. Yet one more example of the Oriental mindset that befuddles Anglos still bitterly clinging to guns and religion. Can you believe that a Democrat ran on the “missile gap”? Can you believe that he ran against military deficiencies of an administration led by the guy who beat Hitler in Western Europe? The American people will vote for anybody. Just about anybody.
My first reaction to the Russians invading Georgia was that it was a long time to hold a grudge. I thought that they were still pissed off at Carter for boycotting the Olympics in 1980. Then I thought that they wanted to make sure that there were no Stalin wanabees getting ready to head to Moscow. And, in a touch of Cyrillic irony, do it when Solzhenitsyn’s body is still warm.
It’s going to be a chalk bet that the Europeans take pass on this. Forget Russia spreading Communism and revolution. Putin has them by the short hairs. He’s going for the oil and the gas. He’s taking the Great Game that Kipling spoke about and brought it into the 21st century.
Should you become President what will you do?
What if he decides to take over the Republic of Ukraine? The New York Times and the Democratic Party acquiesced in the deaths of 8,000,000 to 10,000,000 Ukrainians the last time Moscow got mad at them. Look it up.
They – the Georgians and the Ukrainians – are both “faraway people of whom we know little”.
Do you think that this is the change they have been waiting for?
Maybe you got your 3:00AM call a bit early.
The buck may be in front of you. What will you do?
PS – I’ve been keeping an eye on the price of arugala. Have you?
Senator B. Hussein Obama
701 North Court Street
Marion, Illinois 62959
RE: Today’s History lessons
Senator Bambi,
Congratulations on what is turning out to be a great week! And it’s only Thursday.
The truth about campaigns is that you can always count on your enemies, mean spirited rotters all who are implacable foes of change, to do the sniveley things that make them your enemies. It’s you friends you have to worry about.
Any week that sees the Communist Party of America endorse you AND reveals that George Clooney is you secret advisor on the Mideast and body language is a week that while not equal to the first week of Creation – Did Pastor Wrong Wright ever talk about that? – certainly deserves to be bronzed.
It’s a simple segue from the former to ask if you think, as a former law school instructor, that Alger Hiss and the Rosenbergs got a fair shake.
As to Giorgio Clooney it would be wise to remember how far “earth tones” got Vice President Alpha Gump in 2000.
Enough of that useless badinage. Back to the History lesson.
“They are a far away people of whom we know nothing.”
+
“Any place is defensible if free men so desire.”
I’ll spare you the suspense. There will be no “gotcha” moments.
The first was said in Parliament in defense of the Munich Agreement, an agreement that if it saved us from World War 2 why the Hell did the Germans spend 2 years trying to sink the ship my wife’s father was on.
The second was said by Senator John Kennedy when he ran for President in 1960. It addressed the islands of Quemoy and Matsu. These islands were close enough to mainland China that they could fire artillery shells onto them which they did every other day. Yet one more example of the Oriental mindset that befuddles Anglos still bitterly clinging to guns and religion. Can you believe that a Democrat ran on the “missile gap”? Can you believe that he ran against military deficiencies of an administration led by the guy who beat Hitler in Western Europe? The American people will vote for anybody. Just about anybody.
My first reaction to the Russians invading Georgia was that it was a long time to hold a grudge. I thought that they were still pissed off at Carter for boycotting the Olympics in 1980. Then I thought that they wanted to make sure that there were no Stalin wanabees getting ready to head to Moscow. And, in a touch of Cyrillic irony, do it when Solzhenitsyn’s body is still warm.
It’s going to be a chalk bet that the Europeans take pass on this. Forget Russia spreading Communism and revolution. Putin has them by the short hairs. He’s going for the oil and the gas. He’s taking the Great Game that Kipling spoke about and brought it into the 21st century.
Should you become President what will you do?
What if he decides to take over the Republic of Ukraine? The New York Times and the Democratic Party acquiesced in the deaths of 8,000,000 to 10,000,000 Ukrainians the last time Moscow got mad at them. Look it up.
They – the Georgians and the Ukrainians – are both “faraway people of whom we know little”.
Do you think that this is the change they have been waiting for?
Maybe you got your 3:00AM call a bit early.
The buck may be in front of you. What will you do?
PS – I’ve been keeping an eye on the price of arugala. Have you?
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Barry E. Kirscher, Esq., Palm Beach State’s Attorney
August 2, 2008
Barry E. Kirscher, Esq.
Palm Beach State’s Attorney
401 North Dixie Highway
West Palm Beach, Florida 33401
RE: Your duty as to scroyle Wexler
Mr. Kirscher,
I am sure there is a Latin adage that translates “Payback is a bitch”. It there isn’t there should be.
Congressman Robert Wexler, he of the terminal outrage over “butterfly ballots” in 2000 and long term Chairman of “3 Cheers for Alger Hiss”, suffers from a malady common to politicians who see villains everywhere. He is in the advanced stages of “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”. Each year he is Congress he has gotten taller. In addition to being 10 foot tall he is bulletproof. It was believed as recently as a month ago that his shadow falling upon the lame and the halt was sufficient for them to get up and walk.
The above listed outrages are not listed as felons. The reason why the state legislature has not acted is the majority of its members suffer from the same disease.
An argument could be made that the public arena is the best place for this mange carrier to be deloused. The combination of his hubris & chutzpah is offensive. While it is criminally offensive and extremely detrimental to the commonweal it is not a crime.
Where he resides is different.
Can we stipulate that both Federal and state law say that you must reside in the district that you represent?
Either he does or he doesn’t.
Your office had no problem going after Rush Limbaugh. Further, it had no problem publicizing your efforts to get him.
Can you do less for – perhaps to is the better word – this phony bastard?
Presumably he files a Federal tax return.
Which state – Florida or Maryland – does he use?
Presumably he has a driver’s license.
Which state – Florida or Maryland – granted it?
As a modern American Liberal and as such in perpetual thralldom to the various teachers’ unions it is inconceivable that his children would go to a private school. If he uses the laundry room in his in-laws Del Ray house as his residence he would be liable for non-resident tuition in Maryland. If so it would be a matter of public record. If he doesn’t pay it because he is a Maryland resident he is in violation of Florida law.
Forget about press conferences. Get him under oath. Ask the questions.
Justice and the perception of Justice being done demand that you pursue this to wherever it leads you.
You took an oath of office. “A man on oath holds his soul in his hands as if it were water. He opens his fingers at his own peril.”
Do your duty.
Barry E. Kirscher, Esq.
Palm Beach State’s Attorney
401 North Dixie Highway
West Palm Beach, Florida 33401
RE: Your duty as to scroyle Wexler
Mr. Kirscher,
I am sure there is a Latin adage that translates “Payback is a bitch”. It there isn’t there should be.
Congressman Robert Wexler, he of the terminal outrage over “butterfly ballots” in 2000 and long term Chairman of “3 Cheers for Alger Hiss”, suffers from a malady common to politicians who see villains everywhere. He is in the advanced stages of “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”. Each year he is Congress he has gotten taller. In addition to being 10 foot tall he is bulletproof. It was believed as recently as a month ago that his shadow falling upon the lame and the halt was sufficient for them to get up and walk.
The above listed outrages are not listed as felons. The reason why the state legislature has not acted is the majority of its members suffer from the same disease.
An argument could be made that the public arena is the best place for this mange carrier to be deloused. The combination of his hubris & chutzpah is offensive. While it is criminally offensive and extremely detrimental to the commonweal it is not a crime.
Where he resides is different.
Can we stipulate that both Federal and state law say that you must reside in the district that you represent?
Either he does or he doesn’t.
Your office had no problem going after Rush Limbaugh. Further, it had no problem publicizing your efforts to get him.
Can you do less for – perhaps to is the better word – this phony bastard?
Presumably he files a Federal tax return.
Which state – Florida or Maryland – does he use?
Presumably he has a driver’s license.
Which state – Florida or Maryland – granted it?
As a modern American Liberal and as such in perpetual thralldom to the various teachers’ unions it is inconceivable that his children would go to a private school. If he uses the laundry room in his in-laws Del Ray house as his residence he would be liable for non-resident tuition in Maryland. If so it would be a matter of public record. If he doesn’t pay it because he is a Maryland resident he is in violation of Florida law.
Forget about press conferences. Get him under oath. Ask the questions.
Justice and the perception of Justice being done demand that you pursue this to wherever it leads you.
You took an oath of office. “A man on oath holds his soul in his hands as if it were water. He opens his fingers at his own peril.”
Do your duty.
Senator Bill Nelson
August 3, 2008
Senator Bill Nelson
1301 Riverplace Blvd – 2218
Jacksonville, Florida 32207
RE: Things change
Senator Nelson,
You are opposed to drilling in the Eastern Gulf of Mexico. You even had – so help me! – a “secret plan” to stop it.
Senator B. Hussein Obama was opposed to drilling in the Eastern Gulf of Mexico. Candidate B. Hussein Obama has flip flopped on this issue and now favors it.
Will you join him in renouncing what was thought to have been a long held principle, one which there was thought to be no compromising with Big Oil and Global Warming deniers, or will you pursue a “Profiles in Courage” moment?
I know, I know. It’s lonely out there on the ledge all by yourself. But think how good you’ll feel in the morning
The courtesy of a prompt reply would be greatly appreciated.
Senator Bill Nelson
1301 Riverplace Blvd – 2218
Jacksonville, Florida 32207
RE: Things change
Senator Nelson,
You are opposed to drilling in the Eastern Gulf of Mexico. You even had – so help me! – a “secret plan” to stop it.
Senator B. Hussein Obama was opposed to drilling in the Eastern Gulf of Mexico. Candidate B. Hussein Obama has flip flopped on this issue and now favors it.
Will you join him in renouncing what was thought to have been a long held principle, one which there was thought to be no compromising with Big Oil and Global Warming deniers, or will you pursue a “Profiles in Courage” moment?
I know, I know. It’s lonely out there on the ledge all by yourself. But think how good you’ll feel in the morning
The courtesy of a prompt reply would be greatly appreciated.
Congressman Robert Wexler
July 31, 2008
Congressman Robert Wexler
5790 Margate Boulevard
Margate, Florida 33063
RE: What’s that smell?
Congressman Wexler,
It was obvious that you were always a smarmy bastard.
What is obvious now is that your hypocrisy goes beyond that normally expected of a modern American Liberal member of Congress. Just think of the thought processes that compel SanFranNan Pelosi, your fearless leader, to walk in front of a TV camera and say, “Every day I want to save the world.” Even Mother Teresa never said that.
May I ask – before the Justice Department of the United States and, perhaps the prosecutors in Florida and Maryland ask you under oath – which address you use when you file your Federal income tax return?
May I ask – with the same monitums attached should you find yourself before a grand jury – which state has issued your driver’s license?
If you used your Maryland address you broke both Federal and Florida law by not living in the district that you represent. It probably is too late but you should remember that this is not England. We wink at the gerrymandering that gives Alcee Hastings a seat. In fact, his serpentined district would have sent OJ Simpson to Congress. “Gerrymandering, si!” “Rotten Boros, no!”
I used to say that you were a person about whom not enough bad things could be said. Every time you appear on TV you prove my point.
The news reports say that your children attend private school in Maryland. I guess that means that you won’t be sponsoring my bill mandating that the children of elected officials attend public schools.
Now you say that you will rent an apartment in your district so that your continuing violation of the law will not be a “distraction”.
May I suggest that you look into Belle Glades as a good place to raise your family? A diverse community in love with organic agriculture, it is part of Florida’s glorious past. You’ll love it there.
Another alternative is the Bahamas.
There’s that smell again.
Phew!
It’s you.
Just writing your name raises a stench in my nostrils.
The only positive thing to come from this is that your actions make the smarmy bastards in Broward County seem almost mediocre.
Congressman Robert Wexler
5790 Margate Boulevard
Margate, Florida 33063
RE: What’s that smell?
Congressman Wexler,
It was obvious that you were always a smarmy bastard.
What is obvious now is that your hypocrisy goes beyond that normally expected of a modern American Liberal member of Congress. Just think of the thought processes that compel SanFranNan Pelosi, your fearless leader, to walk in front of a TV camera and say, “Every day I want to save the world.” Even Mother Teresa never said that.
May I ask – before the Justice Department of the United States and, perhaps the prosecutors in Florida and Maryland ask you under oath – which address you use when you file your Federal income tax return?
May I ask – with the same monitums attached should you find yourself before a grand jury – which state has issued your driver’s license?
If you used your Maryland address you broke both Federal and Florida law by not living in the district that you represent. It probably is too late but you should remember that this is not England. We wink at the gerrymandering that gives Alcee Hastings a seat. In fact, his serpentined district would have sent OJ Simpson to Congress. “Gerrymandering, si!” “Rotten Boros, no!”
I used to say that you were a person about whom not enough bad things could be said. Every time you appear on TV you prove my point.
The news reports say that your children attend private school in Maryland. I guess that means that you won’t be sponsoring my bill mandating that the children of elected officials attend public schools.
Now you say that you will rent an apartment in your district so that your continuing violation of the law will not be a “distraction”.
May I suggest that you look into Belle Glades as a good place to raise your family? A diverse community in love with organic agriculture, it is part of Florida’s glorious past. You’ll love it there.
Another alternative is the Bahamas.
There’s that smell again.
Phew!
It’s you.
Just writing your name raises a stench in my nostrils.
The only positive thing to come from this is that your actions make the smarmy bastards in Broward County seem almost mediocre.
Michael Vasquez, The Miami Herald
July 29, 2008
Michael Vasquez
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, Florida 33132-1693
RE: WAL*MART and who in the name of “all men should be brothers” are these two terrible people from Miami whom you highlight in your Page One story on the horror, the horror of a uniquely American institution thinking about expanding in Miami. I mean it’s not like it’s a toxic waste dump or a homeless AIDS shelter, is it?
Mr. Vasquez,
“Miami City Commissioner Marc Sarnoff
CRINGES
at the thought of ‘WAL*MART on the waterfront’.”
“Though it was Sarnoff’s aide, Peter Ehrlich, who described
the chain’s customers as ‘pickup truck’ drivers, Sarnoff
denies cultural elitism is motivating his opposition.”
“If we don’t want to out source our jobs, we should
a better job of ‘buying American’, Sarnoff said.”
The Miami Herald
Page 2A
Today
[The emphases are, of course, mine]
It’s like filling an inside straight. If you ever wonder why the guys who own casinos live in big houses and have huge diamond pinkie rings and women who look like they posed for Botticelli on their arms it’s because there are jemokes out there who think they can fill inside straights.
The thought of two men on the public payroll occupying the same offices and being so dumb, so mind numbing, so make my hair hurt, so make my finger nails curl backwards, so Homerically, so over the top, so jump the shark dumb that they couldn’t find their respective asses in a mirror lined phone booth using both hands with a certified Life Coach shouting instructions to them is kind of like…you know what I’m saying…like filling an inside straight. Twice. In a row.
Having listened to all – repeat – all of Mozart’s recorded works I am half way through it again. Since it’s summer time I am rereading the Iliad and the Odyssey. I am conversant with the 4 Source Theory of Penatateuch Composition. I am immune to “Balloon Juice”. I greatly admire Cicero, the man not the town. I had a payroll with 255 names on it. I know how to attack a two deep zone. My last gun fight was 15 years ago. I know what a 10K is because I used to sign them. I know my way around a carte des vins. I know the difference between Chiaroscuro and Caravaggio. I know why The Economic Consequences of Peace led to war. I have had issues decided by the Supreme Court of the United States. I was in the movie business. I have been 1500 feet down in a coal mine where the term ‘black hole’ is not racist. If you need some help with La Commedia or Ulysses [Joyce’s, not Tennyson’s] give me a call. I have prospected for gold. I was paid $5,000 to have lunch.
And to top it off, I have owned a red pickup truck since 1999. It has 118,000+ miles on it. The back window is too small for a gun rack that could hold my BAR, my favorite assault weapon.
May I add that if the Messrs Sarnoff and Ehrlich were on fire I wouldn’t pee on them to put out said conflagration. If you don’t believe me strike a match.
Accordingly, and in keeping with the protocol of my duties as the keeper of the laurels, I name Commissioner Sarnoff’s aide and butt boy Peter Ehrlich [Is there any chance that he is related to one of the 20th century’s great charlatans, Paul Ehrlich? That would explain a lot about him]
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
Because he is higher up on the food chain and because he is the one who hired the above named and honored nit wit the Commissioner is named
POMPOUS FART OF THE MONTH
The two saps can share them like rubber duckies.
The only good to have come of the rhetorical incontinence of these two is that they make the poltroons in Broward Count look not good but rather almost mediocre. Here, when any elected official is almost mediocre, a Te Deum is sung.
What else makes Commissioner Sarnoff cringe?
Let us imagine that he has a constituent, a woman of color, who is a single mom. Let us further imagine that she has a child in need of drugs. A short time ago she paid $55 a month. Now she pays $4 a month at WAL*MART. Does that make him cringe?
Let us imagine that she got her economic stimulus check of $300. Let us imagine that she is outside the normal banking system. She could use a check cashing company. They would charge her between $3 and $7 dollars to cash it. WAL*MART would cash it with neither a charge nor a condition attached to it. Does that make him cringe?
Does the prospect of indenturing Miami/Dade County with a one billion dollar – that’s $1,000,000,000 – yoke to build a stadium for a team that cannot fill the stadium they are in now make him cringe?
If it doesn’t it should.
Sap Ehrlich was obviously an Affirmative Action hire. Not being the sharpest knife in the drawer shouldn’t be an impediment to a life of public service. He filled the niche of “Hire the Handicapped”.
I say this because of what he said about “buying American”. That’s known as empirical evidence. It’s as real as your boot. That’s why I can say with 100% metaphysical certitude that the man is a dolt.
As the original Dr. J. said, “Such stupidity, sir, is not found in nature.”
I know he eschews public transit because that’s for the little people, the lumpenmenschen. When he puts gas into his car where does he think the oil came from? The South side of Chicago? Nantucket?
The coffee in the Double Grande Funnichio Organic Latte avec Merde that he drank this morning came from where? The shores of Lake Okeechobee? Coconut Grove? Lincoln Road?
Mr. Ehrlich, and what a sad sacked sorry ass he is, has a homework assignment. He has to find out what Mr. Hawley and Mr. Smoot did to the American economy by legislating “buying American”. I won’t spoil the joy of discovery - thinks of Keats “high on a hill in Darien” – for this neddy dunce. The image of a mucked up two car funeral leaps to mind.
Having spent this time gilding the lilies that these two bring to the marketplace I was struck by the fact that my archives has no record of finding both a
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
&
POMPOUS FART OF THE MONTH
in the same office and on the same day.
Accordingly, they have won the ultimate Trifecta. Indeed, Hercules would have to have done everything before cocktail time to have won this award.
They are both named
SMARMY BASTARDS OF THE YEAR
Such labors should give them a day of rest.
May I suggest that for the sake of the environment, for the benefit of drowning polar bears, for the noble goal of manatee suffrage they cut back on greenhouse gases?
Tell them to hold their breaths
PS – I made about 2 dozen literary, historical, cultural, and geographical references in my note to you. How many do you think Tweedledum and Tweedledee could indentify without causing GOOGLE to crash and burn?
Michael Vasquez
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, Florida 33132-1693
RE: WAL*MART and who in the name of “all men should be brothers” are these two terrible people from Miami whom you highlight in your Page One story on the horror, the horror of a uniquely American institution thinking about expanding in Miami. I mean it’s not like it’s a toxic waste dump or a homeless AIDS shelter, is it?
Mr. Vasquez,
“Miami City Commissioner Marc Sarnoff
CRINGES
at the thought of ‘WAL*MART on the waterfront’.”
“Though it was Sarnoff’s aide, Peter Ehrlich, who described
the chain’s customers as ‘pickup truck’ drivers, Sarnoff
denies cultural elitism is motivating his opposition.”
“If we don’t want to out source our jobs, we should
a better job of ‘buying American’, Sarnoff said.”
The Miami Herald
Page 2A
Today
[The emphases are, of course, mine]
It’s like filling an inside straight. If you ever wonder why the guys who own casinos live in big houses and have huge diamond pinkie rings and women who look like they posed for Botticelli on their arms it’s because there are jemokes out there who think they can fill inside straights.
The thought of two men on the public payroll occupying the same offices and being so dumb, so mind numbing, so make my hair hurt, so make my finger nails curl backwards, so Homerically, so over the top, so jump the shark dumb that they couldn’t find their respective asses in a mirror lined phone booth using both hands with a certified Life Coach shouting instructions to them is kind of like…you know what I’m saying…like filling an inside straight. Twice. In a row.
Having listened to all – repeat – all of Mozart’s recorded works I am half way through it again. Since it’s summer time I am rereading the Iliad and the Odyssey. I am conversant with the 4 Source Theory of Penatateuch Composition. I am immune to “Balloon Juice”. I greatly admire Cicero, the man not the town. I had a payroll with 255 names on it. I know how to attack a two deep zone. My last gun fight was 15 years ago. I know what a 10K is because I used to sign them. I know my way around a carte des vins. I know the difference between Chiaroscuro and Caravaggio. I know why The Economic Consequences of Peace led to war. I have had issues decided by the Supreme Court of the United States. I was in the movie business. I have been 1500 feet down in a coal mine where the term ‘black hole’ is not racist. If you need some help with La Commedia or Ulysses [Joyce’s, not Tennyson’s] give me a call. I have prospected for gold. I was paid $5,000 to have lunch.
And to top it off, I have owned a red pickup truck since 1999. It has 118,000+ miles on it. The back window is too small for a gun rack that could hold my BAR, my favorite assault weapon.
May I add that if the Messrs Sarnoff and Ehrlich were on fire I wouldn’t pee on them to put out said conflagration. If you don’t believe me strike a match.
Accordingly, and in keeping with the protocol of my duties as the keeper of the laurels, I name Commissioner Sarnoff’s aide and butt boy Peter Ehrlich [Is there any chance that he is related to one of the 20th century’s great charlatans, Paul Ehrlich? That would explain a lot about him]
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
Because he is higher up on the food chain and because he is the one who hired the above named and honored nit wit the Commissioner is named
POMPOUS FART OF THE MONTH
The two saps can share them like rubber duckies.
The only good to have come of the rhetorical incontinence of these two is that they make the poltroons in Broward Count look not good but rather almost mediocre. Here, when any elected official is almost mediocre, a Te Deum is sung.
What else makes Commissioner Sarnoff cringe?
Let us imagine that he has a constituent, a woman of color, who is a single mom. Let us further imagine that she has a child in need of drugs. A short time ago she paid $55 a month. Now she pays $4 a month at WAL*MART. Does that make him cringe?
Let us imagine that she got her economic stimulus check of $300. Let us imagine that she is outside the normal banking system. She could use a check cashing company. They would charge her between $3 and $7 dollars to cash it. WAL*MART would cash it with neither a charge nor a condition attached to it. Does that make him cringe?
Does the prospect of indenturing Miami/Dade County with a one billion dollar – that’s $1,000,000,000 – yoke to build a stadium for a team that cannot fill the stadium they are in now make him cringe?
If it doesn’t it should.
Sap Ehrlich was obviously an Affirmative Action hire. Not being the sharpest knife in the drawer shouldn’t be an impediment to a life of public service. He filled the niche of “Hire the Handicapped”.
I say this because of what he said about “buying American”. That’s known as empirical evidence. It’s as real as your boot. That’s why I can say with 100% metaphysical certitude that the man is a dolt.
As the original Dr. J. said, “Such stupidity, sir, is not found in nature.”
I know he eschews public transit because that’s for the little people, the lumpenmenschen. When he puts gas into his car where does he think the oil came from? The South side of Chicago? Nantucket?
The coffee in the Double Grande Funnichio Organic Latte avec Merde that he drank this morning came from where? The shores of Lake Okeechobee? Coconut Grove? Lincoln Road?
Mr. Ehrlich, and what a sad sacked sorry ass he is, has a homework assignment. He has to find out what Mr. Hawley and Mr. Smoot did to the American economy by legislating “buying American”. I won’t spoil the joy of discovery - thinks of Keats “high on a hill in Darien” – for this neddy dunce. The image of a mucked up two car funeral leaps to mind.
Having spent this time gilding the lilies that these two bring to the marketplace I was struck by the fact that my archives has no record of finding both a
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
&
POMPOUS FART OF THE MONTH
in the same office and on the same day.
Accordingly, they have won the ultimate Trifecta. Indeed, Hercules would have to have done everything before cocktail time to have won this award.
They are both named
SMARMY BASTARDS OF THE YEAR
Such labors should give them a day of rest.
May I suggest that for the sake of the environment, for the benefit of drowning polar bears, for the noble goal of manatee suffrage they cut back on greenhouse gases?
Tell them to hold their breaths
PS – I made about 2 dozen literary, historical, cultural, and geographical references in my note to you. How many do you think Tweedledum and Tweedledee could indentify without causing GOOGLE to crash and burn?
Douglas C. Lyons – Editorial Writer, The Sun Sentinel
July 26, 2008
Douglas C. Lyons – Editorial Writer
The Sun-Sentinel
200 East Las Olas Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida 33301
RE: The one constant modern American Liberal mantra – more money – as proselytized by you in your column this day.
Mr. Lyons,
As your paper becomes thinner and thinner it becomes easier and easier to read.
The perpetual ideological bent is easily discernible. The problems, what ever they may be, cannot be solved without more money. Thus, the hunt for new sources of revenue is like the hunt for the Holy Grail. Perhaps the horizon would be a more apt description. Whatever the problem it is now empirically self evident that they are never “solved”. They are addressed; they are funded; they are made the focus of the gentle hand of government; but they are never “solved”. If they were “solved” the next problem requiring more and more revenue would be the unemployment of the poverty pimps, hucksters, racial panderers, and morons who refuse to let the evidence of History detract them from just one more program that will make the poor less poor. These people make a comfortable living issuing constant Jeremiads about the system and its “victims”.
The victims and their victimhood must be helped. If they can’t be helped immediately then the villains, usually rich Republicans, must be punished. One of the favorite modern American Liberal punishments is the tax code. Clap-trap flapdoodle about “fairness” fills the air like grapeshot. [I’m sure someone out there knows how to give a tax cut to someone without income. I still don’t know how. Also, those who were unemployed last week will be glad to know that this week they will still be unemployed. The difference is that this week they will be unemployed at a higher minimum wage. For people who cherish the ideal of “Midnight Basketball” for idle teens on the edge of ferocity who are betrayed by a school system that rewards mediocrity that’s progress.]
In your article you mention “felony rights”. Surely you meant “felons rights”, didn’t you?
I seem to recall that a popular cause du jour was the restoration of voting rights to felons who did their time. Last week there was a kerfluffle about released prisoners becoming mortgage brokers. I don’t know about you but in a time when the term “black hole” is deemed to be a racist statement any impediment to ex-cons becoming mortgage brokers has racism written all over it.
In your hunt for yet more revenue with which the government would do good things you have a suggestion for Governor Crist. You say he should “fist bump” – Ah, the memories of the New Yorker cover of Senator and Mrs. B. Hussein Obama! – some of his friends at the Florida Retail Federation “and collect revenue from Internet sales”.
Silly boy!
Haven’t you ever heard of Gibbons v Ogden?
I’m from New Jersey so it has a special interest for me.
It’s about competing businesses and corrupt politicians and sweetheart deals – it fits the Florida template even though it was a Garden State delight, don’t you think? – and getting along by going along.
The Supreme Court of the United States ruled that no state can tax a transaction in another state. Thus, the great idea for more revenue to do really good things is against the law of the land.
If you don’t like the law then work to change it. In the meantime, obey it.
If you’re looking for additional revenue why not have Florida buy Power Ball tickets?
Douglas C. Lyons – Editorial Writer
The Sun-Sentinel
200 East Las Olas Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida 33301
RE: The one constant modern American Liberal mantra – more money – as proselytized by you in your column this day.
Mr. Lyons,
As your paper becomes thinner and thinner it becomes easier and easier to read.
The perpetual ideological bent is easily discernible. The problems, what ever they may be, cannot be solved without more money. Thus, the hunt for new sources of revenue is like the hunt for the Holy Grail. Perhaps the horizon would be a more apt description. Whatever the problem it is now empirically self evident that they are never “solved”. They are addressed; they are funded; they are made the focus of the gentle hand of government; but they are never “solved”. If they were “solved” the next problem requiring more and more revenue would be the unemployment of the poverty pimps, hucksters, racial panderers, and morons who refuse to let the evidence of History detract them from just one more program that will make the poor less poor. These people make a comfortable living issuing constant Jeremiads about the system and its “victims”.
The victims and their victimhood must be helped. If they can’t be helped immediately then the villains, usually rich Republicans, must be punished. One of the favorite modern American Liberal punishments is the tax code. Clap-trap flapdoodle about “fairness” fills the air like grapeshot. [I’m sure someone out there knows how to give a tax cut to someone without income. I still don’t know how. Also, those who were unemployed last week will be glad to know that this week they will still be unemployed. The difference is that this week they will be unemployed at a higher minimum wage. For people who cherish the ideal of “Midnight Basketball” for idle teens on the edge of ferocity who are betrayed by a school system that rewards mediocrity that’s progress.]
In your article you mention “felony rights”. Surely you meant “felons rights”, didn’t you?
I seem to recall that a popular cause du jour was the restoration of voting rights to felons who did their time. Last week there was a kerfluffle about released prisoners becoming mortgage brokers. I don’t know about you but in a time when the term “black hole” is deemed to be a racist statement any impediment to ex-cons becoming mortgage brokers has racism written all over it.
In your hunt for yet more revenue with which the government would do good things you have a suggestion for Governor Crist. You say he should “fist bump” – Ah, the memories of the New Yorker cover of Senator and Mrs. B. Hussein Obama! – some of his friends at the Florida Retail Federation “and collect revenue from Internet sales”.
Silly boy!
Haven’t you ever heard of Gibbons v Ogden?
I’m from New Jersey so it has a special interest for me.
It’s about competing businesses and corrupt politicians and sweetheart deals – it fits the Florida template even though it was a Garden State delight, don’t you think? – and getting along by going along.
The Supreme Court of the United States ruled that no state can tax a transaction in another state. Thus, the great idea for more revenue to do really good things is against the law of the land.
If you don’t like the law then work to change it. In the meantime, obey it.
If you’re looking for additional revenue why not have Florida buy Power Ball tickets?
Congressperson Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
July 21, 2008
Congressperson Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
10100 Pembroke Pines Boulevard
Pembroke Pines, Florida 33028
RE: It must be jet lag or maybe you’re drinking some mAL kool-aid on the plane.
My dear Congressperson,
I have a copy of your article on oil and gas drilling in the Eastern Gulf that was published in the Sun-Sentinel on July 17, 2008.
As usual it is replete with errors of fact and larded with half, quarter, and eighth truths that modern American Liberals use when its time to feed the traditional “balloon juice” to the nit-wits who believe such tripe. It is the modern mental equivalent of pan et arena. That’s Latin for bread and circuses.
I used to think you were too smart to fall for the rhetorical incontinence that Democrats feed to their lumpenmenschen. But then I read that you are “moving to hold OPEC accountable for price fixing that increases the cost of oil”. God’s Holy Trousers but that’s Guinness Book of Records dumb. Didn’t your pal Hillary say that she wanted to sue OPEC? Where do you sue Hugo Chavez? If you sue him in Venezuela may I suggest you bring the Marine Corps with you. If you sue OPEC in Teheran see if you can get the Israeli Air Force to help you.
I read an article this morning in the Wall Street Journal – Do you still read it now that it’s in the hands of that notorious anti-Liberal meanie, K. Rupert Murdoch? Did you ever read it? – about a well that was drilled in the Gulf of Mexico. It was 32,550 feet. It cost $200,000,000 when its owner, the hated Exxon-Mobil, stopped drilling.
The well was dry. That should have been a cause for joy among the tree hugging morons who are Luddites at heart. If it had been productive maybe it could have befouled the beaches of Gulf Coast Florida.
STOP THE PRESSES!
This well wasn’t drilled in Tampa Bay. It wasn’t drilled off Sanibel. It was drilled off the coast of Louisiana. What would have happened if it had leaked? Does Florida have a way to stop oil from wells off the coasts of Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, or Alabama from hitting the beaches of Florida?
How does that work?
I seem to recall that Canute tried to show that the tides were subject to his will. That is all he is remembered for. Herodotus tells us that Persian Emperors invading
Greece would have the waters flogged if the weather was foul. Who says we can’t learn from the past?
How about oil from wells off the coast of Mexico?
What if they leak? Can we use undocumented workers from Huejutla to mop up the mess?
What if Cuba hires China to drill in their part of the Florida Straits? Do you think we should use the United States Navy to prevent it?
I mention this because the well called Blackbeard is about to be opened and drilled again. This time it will be much deeper and, perhaps, angled. This is not good news for manatees and other bird brains who think it is good not to have our own oil and gas.
You say in your article that “lifting the moratorium on Outer Continental Shelf drilling would not have a significant impact on domestic crude oil and natural gas prices before 2030”. Your colleague in the Senate, Senator Richard Durbin [D – Ill], known to his friends as “Little Dick”, says the time frame is 8 to 14 years.
Let’s split the difference. Either side of 15 years will suit me.
Why should a 16 year old high school student pay into Social Security if their payout is more than a half a century away?
I am going to suggest that my youngest granddaughter not return to school in September. 8 years of grammar school followed by 4 years of high school followed by 4 years of college followed by 2, 3, maybe 4 years of graduate school. Hey, that’s as much as 20 years before a hint of a payoff. Better she becomes an I-Pod whiz.
I keep asking this but, since you never answer I’ll keep asking, if you ever carpool do you take your kids to a public school or a private school? Should Senator B. Hussein Obama win the election do you think he should send his daughters to one of the really fine public schools in Washington, DC or should he do like the Clintons and the Gores did?
I am proud of my 7 League carbon footprints. Here’s a plan for Democrats in Congress. Turn off the air conditioning in the Capitol. You run both Houses. It should be a snap.
Your babbling flapdoodle on acreage tells me that you know nothing – zero – about the oil and gas business. Do you think that oils wells are drilled one to an acre? Maybe you should do some reading on those flights to and from DC.
Here’s one suggestion for cutting back on CO2.
Why don’t you and your colleagues try holding your breath? Count backwards from 1787. I picked that date on purpose. It has something to do with the Constitution. That’s another thing you know nothing about.
Congressperson Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
10100 Pembroke Pines Boulevard
Pembroke Pines, Florida 33028
RE: It must be jet lag or maybe you’re drinking some mAL kool-aid on the plane.
My dear Congressperson,
I have a copy of your article on oil and gas drilling in the Eastern Gulf that was published in the Sun-Sentinel on July 17, 2008.
As usual it is replete with errors of fact and larded with half, quarter, and eighth truths that modern American Liberals use when its time to feed the traditional “balloon juice” to the nit-wits who believe such tripe. It is the modern mental equivalent of pan et arena. That’s Latin for bread and circuses.
I used to think you were too smart to fall for the rhetorical incontinence that Democrats feed to their lumpenmenschen. But then I read that you are “moving to hold OPEC accountable for price fixing that increases the cost of oil”. God’s Holy Trousers but that’s Guinness Book of Records dumb. Didn’t your pal Hillary say that she wanted to sue OPEC? Where do you sue Hugo Chavez? If you sue him in Venezuela may I suggest you bring the Marine Corps with you. If you sue OPEC in Teheran see if you can get the Israeli Air Force to help you.
I read an article this morning in the Wall Street Journal – Do you still read it now that it’s in the hands of that notorious anti-Liberal meanie, K. Rupert Murdoch? Did you ever read it? – about a well that was drilled in the Gulf of Mexico. It was 32,550 feet. It cost $200,000,000 when its owner, the hated Exxon-Mobil, stopped drilling.
The well was dry. That should have been a cause for joy among the tree hugging morons who are Luddites at heart. If it had been productive maybe it could have befouled the beaches of Gulf Coast Florida.
STOP THE PRESSES!
This well wasn’t drilled in Tampa Bay. It wasn’t drilled off Sanibel. It was drilled off the coast of Louisiana. What would have happened if it had leaked? Does Florida have a way to stop oil from wells off the coasts of Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, or Alabama from hitting the beaches of Florida?
How does that work?
I seem to recall that Canute tried to show that the tides were subject to his will. That is all he is remembered for. Herodotus tells us that Persian Emperors invading
Greece would have the waters flogged if the weather was foul. Who says we can’t learn from the past?
How about oil from wells off the coast of Mexico?
What if they leak? Can we use undocumented workers from Huejutla to mop up the mess?
What if Cuba hires China to drill in their part of the Florida Straits? Do you think we should use the United States Navy to prevent it?
I mention this because the well called Blackbeard is about to be opened and drilled again. This time it will be much deeper and, perhaps, angled. This is not good news for manatees and other bird brains who think it is good not to have our own oil and gas.
You say in your article that “lifting the moratorium on Outer Continental Shelf drilling would not have a significant impact on domestic crude oil and natural gas prices before 2030”. Your colleague in the Senate, Senator Richard Durbin [D – Ill], known to his friends as “Little Dick”, says the time frame is 8 to 14 years.
Let’s split the difference. Either side of 15 years will suit me.
Why should a 16 year old high school student pay into Social Security if their payout is more than a half a century away?
I am going to suggest that my youngest granddaughter not return to school in September. 8 years of grammar school followed by 4 years of high school followed by 4 years of college followed by 2, 3, maybe 4 years of graduate school. Hey, that’s as much as 20 years before a hint of a payoff. Better she becomes an I-Pod whiz.
I keep asking this but, since you never answer I’ll keep asking, if you ever carpool do you take your kids to a public school or a private school? Should Senator B. Hussein Obama win the election do you think he should send his daughters to one of the really fine public schools in Washington, DC or should he do like the Clintons and the Gores did?
I am proud of my 7 League carbon footprints. Here’s a plan for Democrats in Congress. Turn off the air conditioning in the Capitol. You run both Houses. It should be a snap.
Your babbling flapdoodle on acreage tells me that you know nothing – zero – about the oil and gas business. Do you think that oils wells are drilled one to an acre? Maybe you should do some reading on those flights to and from DC.
Here’s one suggestion for cutting back on CO2.
Why don’t you and your colleagues try holding your breath? Count backwards from 1787. I picked that date on purpose. It has something to do with the Constitution. That’s another thing you know nothing about.
Ryan Lizza, The New Yorker
July 14, 2008
Ryan Lizza
The New Yorker
4 Times Square
New York, New York 10036
RE: What’s the rest of the story?
Mr. Lizza,
First things first.
That was one Hell of a cover. Do you suppose Senator B. Hussein Obama would countenance the stoning of his wife if she were to sashay over to the wild side and do the horizontal tango with…with…I know!…Mel Reynolds. She may be too old.
I couldn’t get past the first paragraph of your article on Senator Bambi. The sinkhole I could neither leap over nor go around was
“Mel Reynolds, a local congressman, was facing charges of
sexual assault of a 16 year old campaign volunteer.
[He eventually resigned his seat]”
Reynolds was convicted of a dozen or so felonies including mail fraud and pedophilia. He “resigned” his seat because he was sentenced to Federal prison. The story ends well because he was pardoned by Big Bill Clinton and was hired by Congressman Jesse Jackson, Jr. as a teenage counselor.
You failed to mention the part about Federal Marshalls putting him in shackles and taking him to prison.
In the investment business “failure to disclose a material fact” is fraud.
You committed journalistic fraud by not telling your readers the whole story up front.
Should Bambi gets to a second term won’t his oldest daughter be about 16? Where is Mel Reynolds these days?
Ryan Lizza
The New Yorker
4 Times Square
New York, New York 10036
RE: What’s the rest of the story?
Mr. Lizza,
First things first.
That was one Hell of a cover. Do you suppose Senator B. Hussein Obama would countenance the stoning of his wife if she were to sashay over to the wild side and do the horizontal tango with…with…I know!…Mel Reynolds. She may be too old.
I couldn’t get past the first paragraph of your article on Senator Bambi. The sinkhole I could neither leap over nor go around was
“Mel Reynolds, a local congressman, was facing charges of
sexual assault of a 16 year old campaign volunteer.
[He eventually resigned his seat]”
Reynolds was convicted of a dozen or so felonies including mail fraud and pedophilia. He “resigned” his seat because he was sentenced to Federal prison. The story ends well because he was pardoned by Big Bill Clinton and was hired by Congressman Jesse Jackson, Jr. as a teenage counselor.
You failed to mention the part about Federal Marshalls putting him in shackles and taking him to prison.
In the investment business “failure to disclose a material fact” is fraud.
You committed journalistic fraud by not telling your readers the whole story up front.
Should Bambi gets to a second term won’t his oldest daughter be about 16? Where is Mel Reynolds these days?
Presidente Cristina Fernandez Kirchner
July 20, 2008
Presidente Cristina Fernandez Kirchner
La Casa Blanca
Buenos Aires, Argentina
Madame Presidente,
You want to tax export grain as a way to keep the domestic price down?
Madre de Dios! That’s dumb.
Such dumbness cannot go unnoticed.
It makes you the first Argentinean woman to win the highly coveted, much sought after award. You are the
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
You live in a country that God has blessed. In almost 2 centuries of being what some may consider a nation you have used this bounty to make but one contribution to the Western Canon. The tango. Even that is tainted since you stole it from the Italians.
Here’s a plan. Margaret Thatcher is no longer in office.
Why not invade the Falklands?
Presidente Cristina Fernandez Kirchner
La Casa Blanca
Buenos Aires, Argentina
Madame Presidente,
You want to tax export grain as a way to keep the domestic price down?
Madre de Dios! That’s dumb.
Such dumbness cannot go unnoticed.
It makes you the first Argentinean woman to win the highly coveted, much sought after award. You are the
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
You live in a country that God has blessed. In almost 2 centuries of being what some may consider a nation you have used this bounty to make but one contribution to the Western Canon. The tango. Even that is tainted since you stole it from the Italians.
Here’s a plan. Margaret Thatcher is no longer in office.
Why not invade the Falklands?
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