Posts
March 28, 2011
Jimmy Cefalo
WIOD – 610AM
7601 Riviera Drive
Miramar, FL 33022
RE: Corporate taxes and that horizon-like thing called “fairness”, or so you said at ca.6:10AM today – Tutorial #3
Jimmy,
This may shock and amaze you but corporations don’t – repeat – don’t pay taxes. Never have. Never will.
Listen carefully. I’ll write slowly.
Taxes are but a cost of doing business, just like salaries, the gas and electric bill, the 3 martini lunches, the donation to the United Way and to the PAC most likely to help the donor. Also included, but not limited to, are mortgage payments, R & D, bribes, employee benefits, interest on debt, SEC and IRS settlements, acquisition of raw materials, lottery tickets, and fresh paint at World HQ.
At the end of the day the above is put into a pot labeled costs. It gets stirred around, perhaps a soupcon of saffron, maybe a truffle or two, some garnishes may be added, and it comes out on a serving platter called price. It is what the company charges for its goods and services. The proof of the pudding is always in the eating.
If enough people buy it is good. If not enough people buy it is bad. In the real world, the world not made up of US Post Offices or the Educational/Poverty complex, one is rewarded and the other is punished. That there is a higher percentage of unemployed high school football coaches rather than unemployed high school biology teachers is self evident proof that the boobies are running the hatch.
Winston Churchill once said of a pudding that “It had no theme”.
Jeffrey Immelt, CEO of GE, has produced a pudding that is rich in “theme”. He seems to have survived the misfortune of succeeding Jack Welch. [Who remembers Phil Bengston or Henry the Ninth?] His “theme” is simple. He has decided that it would be in the best interests of his company to partner up with the Federal government in as many ways as possible. He does this in a manner that is both complimentary and complementary. His acceptance of the President’s invitation to serve on an advisory was so quick that the Guinness Book of Records will probably have a new category for it. If the President asked him to cut the White House lawn he would have produced a dozen goats by the afternoon to show how “green” he is.
He cares not a whit about the controversy surrounding the curly fries light bulb. He just wants his company to make them.
History teaches us that government and business shouldn’t resemble a cartel of copulating cobras. That puts us on the “slippery slope” to Fascism.
Further, if corporate time machines were available, I have no doubt that GE would have been the low bidder on the gas ovens at Auschwitz.
Is it “fair” to ask what you mean by “fairness”?
Can you define “fairness” in a simple declarative sentence? You are forbidden to use “unfairness” to explain “fairness”. Justice Stewart’s definition of obscenity was good for a sound bite but it was invalid in its Logical constructs. Aristotle said that “something can not be what it is not”.
What is “fair” for you need not be “fair” for me.
Other than “fair catch” or “I’m showing my organic endives at the state fair” can we not agree on a moratorium on the word “fair”? Let’s just ban it from adult conversations.
I mentioned the horizon in my introduction. It is a metaphor for something unreachable, unattainable, “like man’s grasp”. The tax code, an instrument that involves A taking money from B to benefit C, can never be “fair”. B complains that it is too much while C complains that it is not enough.
Like the drunk whose defense is “I was overserved” the problem is not that we are taxed – forgive me – “unfairly”. The problem is that we spend too much.
Kevin Smith
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Michael Mayo The Sun-Sentinel
March 27, 2011
Michael Mayo
The Sun-Sentinel
200 E. Las Olas Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: “Fair districts” – Some comments on your column bewailing the current state of electoral affairs and how, once districts are more “fairly” drawn, all will be well in our land.
Mr. Mayo,
I suppose it was “fair” that a Congressional district be created for Alcee Hastings. After all, he neither killed anyone nor did he practice pedophilia. Other than having his felonious black robed ass tossed off the Federal bench he was a hail fellow, wasn’t he? His people gave him a soft spot to land when he had to make a mid-life career change.
Would it be “fair” to say that his district would send O.J. Simpson or Michael Jackson to Congress? If possible both would go with them splitting duties on an odd/even day basis just like Carter’s gas lines.
Yes, I know that Jackson is still dead but that has never proved to be an impediment to Democratic politics.
I had an uncle in Jersey City, NJ whose attraction to Row ‘A’, the perpetual line of the Regular Democratic Party – Perpetual may be a bit of a stretch. They only had it from 1916 to 1978. It’s a long time but it’s not perpetual – that he voted until he was stopped in 1971 by a Federal Judge, a Judge appointed by President Eisenhower, because he found out that he had died in 1956.
In addition to demanding “fairness”, the amendments mandate that no minority loses whatever seats it has scratched out to date. That means that Black districts, shapeless blobs that look like amoebas on steroids, are sacrosanct. Wazupwidat?
I guess one of the hidden joys of being a card carrying modern American Liberal is that you never have to notice that, try as you may, the “unfair” laws govenring gravity can’t be repealed.
Baker v Carr notwithstanding, the deal struck between urban Blacks and non-urban Whites in Florida has been what the Founders, particularly Madison, envisioned.
A serendipitous effect has been that it showed that being a horse’s ass, a pompous fart, or a smarmy bastard were not race specific traits. Blacks proved to be just as mendacious as Whites. I submit Congresswoman Carrie Meek, County Commissioners Poitier and Eggeletion, and State Senator Mandy Dawson as Exhibit 1.
“Fairness” compels me to include Scott Cowan, Ken Jenne, and Beverly Gallagher as Exhibit 2. If there is a God in heaven it would only be “fair” to include Diana Wasserman-Rubin and Stacey Ritter on that list. The thought of Commissioner Lieberman, Lieberman being the name she uses only in Broward County since she uses Michelman when she lobbies in Tallahassee, ratting out everybody borders on orgasmic.
You mention Governor Scott as “Governor 48.9%” as if that makes him less than legitimate. It is owed to the ledger that the appellation “President less that 50%” would apply to Kennedy and Clinton; twice to Clinton. If memory serves the Marine Band played “Ruffles and Flourishes” and “Hail to the Chief” all the way through for them.
In typical mAL fashion, you quote Dan Gelber, Esq. AKA “Mr. 47% non-elected Attorney General of Florida”, thus
“If they fail then the courts will decide.”
If the Broward County Judiciary is typical – vide Dale Cohen, the current Chief Judge of the District, advancing his wife’s Judgeship candidacy to the detriment of something called justice. That he did it in an open court, during a trial, should be cause for him to be driven from the building by men with dogs and whips – I would trust the instincts of street smart pols from Liberty City and rich White dudes from Hobe Sound over those black robed venal ohmadahns
Everybody’s self interest would be served.
That’s what I call “fair”.
Kevin Smith
Michael Mayo
The Sun-Sentinel
200 E. Las Olas Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: “Fair districts” – Some comments on your column bewailing the current state of electoral affairs and how, once districts are more “fairly” drawn, all will be well in our land.
Mr. Mayo,
I suppose it was “fair” that a Congressional district be created for Alcee Hastings. After all, he neither killed anyone nor did he practice pedophilia. Other than having his felonious black robed ass tossed off the Federal bench he was a hail fellow, wasn’t he? His people gave him a soft spot to land when he had to make a mid-life career change.
Would it be “fair” to say that his district would send O.J. Simpson or Michael Jackson to Congress? If possible both would go with them splitting duties on an odd/even day basis just like Carter’s gas lines.
Yes, I know that Jackson is still dead but that has never proved to be an impediment to Democratic politics.
I had an uncle in Jersey City, NJ whose attraction to Row ‘A’, the perpetual line of the Regular Democratic Party – Perpetual may be a bit of a stretch. They only had it from 1916 to 1978. It’s a long time but it’s not perpetual – that he voted until he was stopped in 1971 by a Federal Judge, a Judge appointed by President Eisenhower, because he found out that he had died in 1956.
In addition to demanding “fairness”, the amendments mandate that no minority loses whatever seats it has scratched out to date. That means that Black districts, shapeless blobs that look like amoebas on steroids, are sacrosanct. Wazupwidat?
I guess one of the hidden joys of being a card carrying modern American Liberal is that you never have to notice that, try as you may, the “unfair” laws govenring gravity can’t be repealed.
Baker v Carr notwithstanding, the deal struck between urban Blacks and non-urban Whites in Florida has been what the Founders, particularly Madison, envisioned.
A serendipitous effect has been that it showed that being a horse’s ass, a pompous fart, or a smarmy bastard were not race specific traits. Blacks proved to be just as mendacious as Whites. I submit Congresswoman Carrie Meek, County Commissioners Poitier and Eggeletion, and State Senator Mandy Dawson as Exhibit 1.
“Fairness” compels me to include Scott Cowan, Ken Jenne, and Beverly Gallagher as Exhibit 2. If there is a God in heaven it would only be “fair” to include Diana Wasserman-Rubin and Stacey Ritter on that list. The thought of Commissioner Lieberman, Lieberman being the name she uses only in Broward County since she uses Michelman when she lobbies in Tallahassee, ratting out everybody borders on orgasmic.
You mention Governor Scott as “Governor 48.9%” as if that makes him less than legitimate. It is owed to the ledger that the appellation “President less that 50%” would apply to Kennedy and Clinton; twice to Clinton. If memory serves the Marine Band played “Ruffles and Flourishes” and “Hail to the Chief” all the way through for them.
In typical mAL fashion, you quote Dan Gelber, Esq. AKA “Mr. 47% non-elected Attorney General of Florida”, thus
“If they fail then the courts will decide.”
If the Broward County Judiciary is typical – vide Dale Cohen, the current Chief Judge of the District, advancing his wife’s Judgeship candidacy to the detriment of something called justice. That he did it in an open court, during a trial, should be cause for him to be driven from the building by men with dogs and whips – I would trust the instincts of street smart pols from Liberty City and rich White dudes from Hobe Sound over those black robed venal ohmadahns
Everybody’s self interest would be served.
That’s what I call “fair”.
Kevin Smith
Michael Mayo The Sun-Sentinel
March 19, 2011
Michael Mayo
The Sun-Sentinel
200 E. Las Olas Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: “Everybody talks about education…” – Some comments on your column today about education and the teaching profession.
Mr. Mayo,
“…but nobody ever does anything about it.” Education and the teaching profession are like law and justice. In both instances no good can come from assuming that the words mean the same thing.
My major premise is in the form of a question.
“Why can’t Johnny read?”
Lest I have the dreaded word police on me Johnny means Juanita, Etienne, Fatima, and Vlad.
“We’re #1” cheers roared through the air this morning. Florida leads the nation in prisoner tax scams. If it weren’t for Mississippi, Alabama, and Arkansas we would be in a dead heat with Haiti, Zimbabwe, and Pitcairn Island on the Educational Richter Scale.
My first Pie in the Sky Solution: All elected officials, all educational apparatchiks, from the President of the United States to the Secretary of Education to the Diversity Expert employed by the Broward County Board of Education shall enroll all their school age children in the nearest public school. No exceptions.
If spending per student is the gold standard of public education why isn’t the Washington, DC school system the best in the world? No place spends more per child. Forget about National Merit Scholars. Pulitzer Prizes and the occasional Nobel Prize should be announced at every PTA meeting.
My second Pie in the Sky solution: Shouldn’t the 10th grade math teacher be held to the same standard as the football coach?
“No child left behind” is ending its first decade. The Department of Education was “created” in 1978. Big Bird has been trying to teach inner city [“inner city”? – that’s a euphemism, isn’t it?] children to read since 1970. Head Start has been around since 1964. Am I the only one to see a pattern here? Although they are not as old as the Federal Housing Authority they are on the same successful pattern that was set down by it..
The only entity with a worse record is the Syrian and Egyptian air forces whenever they go nose to nose with the Israelis.
If a patient enters a hospital with a stomach ache and fails to respond to treatment would not Logic and the Scientific Method demand that the course of treatment be changed? Whatever is dripping through the IV bag ain’t working. Maybe it’s time for leeches. Maybe it’s time for alchemy. Maybe it’s time to bring back canings. Maybe it’s time to make pi 3.0. Lord knows that the evidence of our own eyes shouts that it can’t be worse.
The private/public debate over salaries and benefits comes down to one thing. Public entities have no accountability to anyone but themselves. Thus, when a state grand jury says that if the Broward County School System were a horse it would be shot, the Superintendent says, “We’ll do better. I promise” and no one says boo.
The best thing that can be said about the whole thing is that there appears to be more horse’s asses than crooks. Having said that it is well to note that not even a hot stove would be safe from those grifters. The really vile ones begin every sentence with “It’s for the children”. At least kids could learn a trade from crooks. What the Hell can they learn from people with degrees in education? Talk about damning with faint praise.
Why not have Charley Sheen run the damn thing? He could earn his keep by being a constant negative example.
One of my favorite print ads read “Ears Pierced – While You Wait”. At least it had the advantage of clarity.
Your quoting a typical unintelligible ukase constructed from deep in the bowels of the educational leviathan suggests several things:
1 – The sentence quoted is the result of an accidental sister/brother mating of an Alpha female pole dancer and an Alpha male persiflage producer. Think of the elite of the Post Office and the best of Motor Vehicle bureau contributing to the educational gene pool.
#2 - Strunck & White, Jacques Barzun, Russell Kirk, James Jackson Kilpatrick. Do any of these names ring a bell? Have they been struck from the rolls of literate, engaging teachers of grammar, composition, and style? You used to be a sports writer. Why not have Grantland Rice, Arthur Daley, Red Smith, and Jim Murray in the English curriculum? The possibilities are endless. Nouns, verbs, sentences, syntax, prose – Be still my heart.
#3 – As to the bill being incomprehensibly unreadable I suggest that there is a paradigmatic template for both embracing it and passing it and then embracing it yet again. Did not the head Hecate, the harridan in chief, the former Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, tell us in re ObamaCare?
“We have to pass the bill to see what’s in it.”
Kevin Smith
PS – Tell me again why a “bad” teacher is paid as much as a “good” teacher. Tell me again why a “bad” teacher is paid at all. Tell me why the Broward County School System still has “diversity experts”, the last one having gone to jail. I remember the first time we had a “teachable moment” in the American educational system. The Russians launched Sputnik because Americans did not study hard enough. Less than 12 years later we bitch slapped gravity and got to the moon without benefit of PCs, microprocessors, or even calculators. We didn’t even use the metric system.We walked around and flew home with a bag filled with souvenirs. Go Governor Scott! Next stop, Mars!
Michael Mayo
The Sun-Sentinel
200 E. Las Olas Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: “Everybody talks about education…” – Some comments on your column today about education and the teaching profession.
Mr. Mayo,
“…but nobody ever does anything about it.” Education and the teaching profession are like law and justice. In both instances no good can come from assuming that the words mean the same thing.
My major premise is in the form of a question.
“Why can’t Johnny read?”
Lest I have the dreaded word police on me Johnny means Juanita, Etienne, Fatima, and Vlad.
“We’re #1” cheers roared through the air this morning. Florida leads the nation in prisoner tax scams. If it weren’t for Mississippi, Alabama, and Arkansas we would be in a dead heat with Haiti, Zimbabwe, and Pitcairn Island on the Educational Richter Scale.
My first Pie in the Sky Solution: All elected officials, all educational apparatchiks, from the President of the United States to the Secretary of Education to the Diversity Expert employed by the Broward County Board of Education shall enroll all their school age children in the nearest public school. No exceptions.
If spending per student is the gold standard of public education why isn’t the Washington, DC school system the best in the world? No place spends more per child. Forget about National Merit Scholars. Pulitzer Prizes and the occasional Nobel Prize should be announced at every PTA meeting.
My second Pie in the Sky solution: Shouldn’t the 10th grade math teacher be held to the same standard as the football coach?
“No child left behind” is ending its first decade. The Department of Education was “created” in 1978. Big Bird has been trying to teach inner city [“inner city”? – that’s a euphemism, isn’t it?] children to read since 1970. Head Start has been around since 1964. Am I the only one to see a pattern here? Although they are not as old as the Federal Housing Authority they are on the same successful pattern that was set down by it..
The only entity with a worse record is the Syrian and Egyptian air forces whenever they go nose to nose with the Israelis.
If a patient enters a hospital with a stomach ache and fails to respond to treatment would not Logic and the Scientific Method demand that the course of treatment be changed? Whatever is dripping through the IV bag ain’t working. Maybe it’s time for leeches. Maybe it’s time for alchemy. Maybe it’s time to bring back canings. Maybe it’s time to make pi 3.0. Lord knows that the evidence of our own eyes shouts that it can’t be worse.
The private/public debate over salaries and benefits comes down to one thing. Public entities have no accountability to anyone but themselves. Thus, when a state grand jury says that if the Broward County School System were a horse it would be shot, the Superintendent says, “We’ll do better. I promise” and no one says boo.
The best thing that can be said about the whole thing is that there appears to be more horse’s asses than crooks. Having said that it is well to note that not even a hot stove would be safe from those grifters. The really vile ones begin every sentence with “It’s for the children”. At least kids could learn a trade from crooks. What the Hell can they learn from people with degrees in education? Talk about damning with faint praise.
Why not have Charley Sheen run the damn thing? He could earn his keep by being a constant negative example.
One of my favorite print ads read “Ears Pierced – While You Wait”. At least it had the advantage of clarity.
Your quoting a typical unintelligible ukase constructed from deep in the bowels of the educational leviathan suggests several things:
1 – The sentence quoted is the result of an accidental sister/brother mating of an Alpha female pole dancer and an Alpha male persiflage producer. Think of the elite of the Post Office and the best of Motor Vehicle bureau contributing to the educational gene pool.
#2 - Strunck & White, Jacques Barzun, Russell Kirk, James Jackson Kilpatrick. Do any of these names ring a bell? Have they been struck from the rolls of literate, engaging teachers of grammar, composition, and style? You used to be a sports writer. Why not have Grantland Rice, Arthur Daley, Red Smith, and Jim Murray in the English curriculum? The possibilities are endless. Nouns, verbs, sentences, syntax, prose – Be still my heart.
#3 – As to the bill being incomprehensibly unreadable I suggest that there is a paradigmatic template for both embracing it and passing it and then embracing it yet again. Did not the head Hecate, the harridan in chief, the former Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, tell us in re ObamaCare?
“We have to pass the bill to see what’s in it.”
Kevin Smith
PS – Tell me again why a “bad” teacher is paid as much as a “good” teacher. Tell me again why a “bad” teacher is paid at all. Tell me why the Broward County School System still has “diversity experts”, the last one having gone to jail. I remember the first time we had a “teachable moment” in the American educational system. The Russians launched Sputnik because Americans did not study hard enough. Less than 12 years later we bitch slapped gravity and got to the moon without benefit of PCs, microprocessors, or even calculators. We didn’t even use the metric system.We walked around and flew home with a bag filled with souvenirs. Go Governor Scott! Next stop, Mars!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Dan Millbank The Washington Post
March 18, 2011
Dan Millbank
The Washington Post
RE: “Are you serious?” – Some comments on your column in today’s Miami Herald in which you, obviously unwittingly, pull back the curtain on the thought process of an increasingly endangered species, modern American Liberalism and their cannon fodder ink stained wretch suck ups.
Mr. Millbank,
“Are you serious?” was the response given by Nancy D’Alesandro Pelosi, former House head vixen. [I wonder why if the Secretary of State, and let me add that she is the best Secretary of State that we have, calls herself Hillary Rodham Clinton why doesn’t the San Francisco uber wealthy harridan ever use her maiden name? Perhaps there were too many “white envelopes” passed in the parking lot. If you don’t know what was in those myriad “white envelopes” you don’t know anything about modern American Liberalism, Democratic Party East Coast urban style. Her father was the Mayor of Baltimore.] She was asked by a somewhat naïve reporter where in the Constitution could one find, “lay one’s finger on” if you will, the authority to impose ObamaCare on the nation. “Are you serious, are you serious?” was her answer.
Thus, in a moment of unintended candor, she disposed of centuries of advancement on a perilous road leading to the Rule of Law.
When you quote Congressman McHenry asking Banking Czarina Warren about where the statutory approval for her meddling in Christmas Clubs and free toaster campaigns your snarky tone reminds me of “Badge? I don’t got no stinking badge. I don’t need no stinking badge” school of governance. An updated version would be “Play ball with me or I’ll shove the bat up your ass”.
Any chance I get to bring Saint Thomas More into the dialogue is always welcome.
“And when you cut down every law in the land to get at the Devil
where would you hide, the laws all being flat, when he turned on you?”
Could it be a coincidence that all the members of Congress you mention are Republicans? Referencing Czarina Warren – Our prayers are with her that she has better luck with the bull then the last Czarina – and her constant cry of “Cop on the beat”, is it possible to mention the last 15 years of American financial history without mentioning Senator Christopher Dodd and Congressman Barney Frank?
Senator Dodd still has the distinction of being the only nationally elected official ever to look me in the eye and lie. Now that he is the flack spreader for Hollywood there is no chance that his miracle mortgage on a cow shed in Ireland will ever be up on the silver screen. Why do I think that “Friends of Angelo” will be on Al Jazeera TV before it gets done in Hollywood?
Congressman Frank, and the only Churchill quote to fit him would be “He’s a man who gives sodomy a bad name”, was in the business of turning his unfinished basement into a gender specific Washington DC Knocking Shoppe when his “I’ll fix that ticket for you, you little devil you” brouhaha put an end to that. “Knocking Shoppe”? Send a SASE.
Where was the “Cop on the beat” when these two scroyles were breaking the law at breakneck speed? Full disclosure requires me to tell you that both those mendacious poltroons are Democrats but you probably knew that.
How about these potential recess appointments?
What will happen if President Palin anoints Pat Buchanan as her banking czar? What if a President Huckabee names the CEO of WAL*MART as the new big boss man?
“I would give the devil the protection of the law for my own safety’s sake.”
Didn’t Lord Barack the Beneficent begin an answer to a Republican Congressman with a gracious “We won”?
Sometimes life can be a bitch.
Kevin Smith
Dan Millbank
The Washington Post
RE: “Are you serious?” – Some comments on your column in today’s Miami Herald in which you, obviously unwittingly, pull back the curtain on the thought process of an increasingly endangered species, modern American Liberalism and their cannon fodder ink stained wretch suck ups.
Mr. Millbank,
“Are you serious?” was the response given by Nancy D’Alesandro Pelosi, former House head vixen. [I wonder why if the Secretary of State, and let me add that she is the best Secretary of State that we have, calls herself Hillary Rodham Clinton why doesn’t the San Francisco uber wealthy harridan ever use her maiden name? Perhaps there were too many “white envelopes” passed in the parking lot. If you don’t know what was in those myriad “white envelopes” you don’t know anything about modern American Liberalism, Democratic Party East Coast urban style. Her father was the Mayor of Baltimore.] She was asked by a somewhat naïve reporter where in the Constitution could one find, “lay one’s finger on” if you will, the authority to impose ObamaCare on the nation. “Are you serious, are you serious?” was her answer.
Thus, in a moment of unintended candor, she disposed of centuries of advancement on a perilous road leading to the Rule of Law.
When you quote Congressman McHenry asking Banking Czarina Warren about where the statutory approval for her meddling in Christmas Clubs and free toaster campaigns your snarky tone reminds me of “Badge? I don’t got no stinking badge. I don’t need no stinking badge” school of governance. An updated version would be “Play ball with me or I’ll shove the bat up your ass”.
Any chance I get to bring Saint Thomas More into the dialogue is always welcome.
“And when you cut down every law in the land to get at the Devil
where would you hide, the laws all being flat, when he turned on you?”
Could it be a coincidence that all the members of Congress you mention are Republicans? Referencing Czarina Warren – Our prayers are with her that she has better luck with the bull then the last Czarina – and her constant cry of “Cop on the beat”, is it possible to mention the last 15 years of American financial history without mentioning Senator Christopher Dodd and Congressman Barney Frank?
Senator Dodd still has the distinction of being the only nationally elected official ever to look me in the eye and lie. Now that he is the flack spreader for Hollywood there is no chance that his miracle mortgage on a cow shed in Ireland will ever be up on the silver screen. Why do I think that “Friends of Angelo” will be on Al Jazeera TV before it gets done in Hollywood?
Congressman Frank, and the only Churchill quote to fit him would be “He’s a man who gives sodomy a bad name”, was in the business of turning his unfinished basement into a gender specific Washington DC Knocking Shoppe when his “I’ll fix that ticket for you, you little devil you” brouhaha put an end to that. “Knocking Shoppe”? Send a SASE.
Where was the “Cop on the beat” when these two scroyles were breaking the law at breakneck speed? Full disclosure requires me to tell you that both those mendacious poltroons are Democrats but you probably knew that.
How about these potential recess appointments?
What will happen if President Palin anoints Pat Buchanan as her banking czar? What if a President Huckabee names the CEO of WAL*MART as the new big boss man?
“I would give the devil the protection of the law for my own safety’s sake.”
Didn’t Lord Barack the Beneficent begin an answer to a Republican Congressman with a gracious “We won”?
Sometimes life can be a bitch.
Kevin Smith
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Steven L. Goldstein The Sun-Sentinel
March 6, 2011
Steven L. Goldstein
The Sun-Sentinel
200 E. Las Olas Blvd
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: It beats a hair shirt! – Some comments on your column this morning about the coming of corporate Fascism in this country. If only we elected Obama.
My dear Professor,
First things first.
I’m giving you up for Lent. Again.
It’s like crop rotation. I’ll give you some time off to search for new shibboleths with which to assault reason and History. I must say that I admire your ability never to allow an absence of facts deter you from making an argument. That they are universally and uniformly specious is not germane. That’s why it is so easy to deny your major premise. To wit:
“The first Big Lie: Government should never raise taxes in a bad economy and always give tax breaks.” [Emphasis yours]
Rush Limbaugh and Marco Rubio believe this but they were not the first ones to say it. John Maynard Keynes said it first. Honest. Keynes is more quoted than read but I assure you he said it. Look it up.
You may remember that candidate John Kennedy ran for President in 1960 on 2 big issues, #1 – He would close the “missile gap”. #2 – He would “get the country moving again”. He took care of #1 with the Polaris missile. He took care of #2 by cutting taxes. Honest. Look it up.
“The first Big Truth: The government is the true engine of economic stimulus.” The United States government created 15,000,000 jobs once. Good jobs, competitive salaries, great benefits, learn new skills, ample travel opportunities. It was called World War 2.
I suppose if we invade Libya, Egypt, and Somalia, if we invade Mexico to clean up that mess, if we finally Free Tibet, if we liberate North Korea, if we forcibly retire Mugabe we’ll be back at full employment, right? Venezuela needs a bit of the boot also. On the way back from Caracas we can take care of some unfinished business in Cuba also. These are all “shovel ready” jobs, aren’t they?
If the government is the “true engine” of business why does the Post Office remind me of a 3 legged table? Lord Barack the Beneficent “created” 200,000 jobs by borrowing $1,000,000,000,000 – I hope I have enough zeros – from Uncle Wong, our Cheshire Cat Chinese banker. The problem is they all work for the government. Maybe they are new recruits for the 47 year old war on poverty. That’s 16 years more than the Athenians and the Spartans went at it. We still have a way to go to match the English and the French but we’re gaining on it.
If the government spent our money well wouldn’t Detroit be like Xanadu?
The highest school spending per pupil in the United States is in Washington, DC. Why aren’t the President’s daughters in public school there?
You say, in prototypical modern American Liberal fashion, that “Governor Scott and his tea party cohorts need to be made to understand…” [Emphasis mine]
In the end the dirty little secret of modern American Liberals is that they all wear brown shirts when no one is looking. They all have a pair of hob nailed boots in the closet. No sense wearing a tutu when you are trying to get people, free people, to see the errors of their ways. That way it’s easier when someone “needs to be made to understand” anything.
You probably won’t find Horst Wessel at any Tea Party conferences. He’s in Madison, Wisconsin doing what he does best.
You’re on your own ‘til Easter.
Miracles have been known to happen.
Kevin Smith
Steven L. Goldstein
The Sun-Sentinel
200 E. Las Olas Blvd
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: It beats a hair shirt! – Some comments on your column this morning about the coming of corporate Fascism in this country. If only we elected Obama.
My dear Professor,
First things first.
I’m giving you up for Lent. Again.
It’s like crop rotation. I’ll give you some time off to search for new shibboleths with which to assault reason and History. I must say that I admire your ability never to allow an absence of facts deter you from making an argument. That they are universally and uniformly specious is not germane. That’s why it is so easy to deny your major premise. To wit:
“The first Big Lie: Government should never raise taxes in a bad economy and always give tax breaks.” [Emphasis yours]
Rush Limbaugh and Marco Rubio believe this but they were not the first ones to say it. John Maynard Keynes said it first. Honest. Keynes is more quoted than read but I assure you he said it. Look it up.
You may remember that candidate John Kennedy ran for President in 1960 on 2 big issues, #1 – He would close the “missile gap”. #2 – He would “get the country moving again”. He took care of #1 with the Polaris missile. He took care of #2 by cutting taxes. Honest. Look it up.
“The first Big Truth: The government is the true engine of economic stimulus.” The United States government created 15,000,000 jobs once. Good jobs, competitive salaries, great benefits, learn new skills, ample travel opportunities. It was called World War 2.
I suppose if we invade Libya, Egypt, and Somalia, if we invade Mexico to clean up that mess, if we finally Free Tibet, if we liberate North Korea, if we forcibly retire Mugabe we’ll be back at full employment, right? Venezuela needs a bit of the boot also. On the way back from Caracas we can take care of some unfinished business in Cuba also. These are all “shovel ready” jobs, aren’t they?
If the government is the “true engine” of business why does the Post Office remind me of a 3 legged table? Lord Barack the Beneficent “created” 200,000 jobs by borrowing $1,000,000,000,000 – I hope I have enough zeros – from Uncle Wong, our Cheshire Cat Chinese banker. The problem is they all work for the government. Maybe they are new recruits for the 47 year old war on poverty. That’s 16 years more than the Athenians and the Spartans went at it. We still have a way to go to match the English and the French but we’re gaining on it.
If the government spent our money well wouldn’t Detroit be like Xanadu?
The highest school spending per pupil in the United States is in Washington, DC. Why aren’t the President’s daughters in public school there?
You say, in prototypical modern American Liberal fashion, that “Governor Scott and his tea party cohorts need to be made to understand…” [Emphasis mine]
In the end the dirty little secret of modern American Liberals is that they all wear brown shirts when no one is looking. They all have a pair of hob nailed boots in the closet. No sense wearing a tutu when you are trying to get people, free people, to see the errors of their ways. That way it’s easier when someone “needs to be made to understand” anything.
You probably won’t find Horst Wessel at any Tea Party conferences. He’s in Madison, Wisconsin doing what he does best.
You’re on your own ‘til Easter.
Miracles have been known to happen.
Kevin Smith
Monday, March 14, 2011
Michael Mayo The Sun-Sentinel.
March 13, 2011
Michael Mayo
The Sun-Sentinel.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: Hymie, Jaime, non-sequiturs, brown spots in London, something that’s in worse financial shape than Social Security, and, wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles, the truth - some comments on your column today about the rotters ruining the disappearing Florida middle class. At least the Governor didn’t say, “You’re fucking dead”.
Mr. Mayo,
Maybe you had an Uncle Hymie, a sporting gentleman, who entertained other similar gentlemen by accepting their friendly wagers on sporting events. Maybe when he couldn’t resist the siren call of Del Boca Vista, and in a bow to multi-culturalism, he sold his book to someone now known as Uncle Jaime.
Both had one thing in common.
If they had too much business on one event they called someone named Uncle Nunzio – today, he would probably be Uncle Vladimir – to “lay off” some of the action.
And that’s how the neighborhood bookmaker and the CEO of Engulf and Devour Insurance, a wholly owned subsidiary of Anaconda Mutual, are related.
I could say that “It’s turtles all the way down” but that would only muddy, forgive me, the rising waters. [Speaking of rising waters, didn’t Lord Barack the Beneficent say that he would make the oceans recede? Did a perpetual low tide in San Diego, doubtless a result of a “shovel ready” project, cause the surfers’ delight in Japan?
As a native New Yorker, as someone who believes that the only thing better than Mitchell-Lama for the fortunate few and rent stabilization for the working class, is rent control for the undeserving poor, you speak of the “Charlie Crist [insurance] price shackles”, as the golden age of besieged and beleaguered Floridians. You speak of their coming “unshackling” as if it were orchestrated by Bush and Cheney.
You say, in an absolutely mind boggling way
“Imagine a health insurance company that caters only to
the sick and those at the highest risk of cancer, diabetes
and heart disease – that’s Citizens Insurance in a nutshell.”
It is a truism that a political gaffe occurs when someone accidentally tells the truth. A big time fart in church has just sounded in the hallowed halls of modern American Liberalism.
As the great Dr. Johnson said, “Any public policy that involves robbing Peter to pay Paul will always have Paul’s support”.
If Florida property owners are “entitled” to insurance full disclosure demands that they be told how many chairs are left in the musical deck dance on the Titanic. Have the names Madoff and Rothstein gone down the memory hole? The next future claimant to Citizens Insurance should be told two things.
#1 – There ain’t no lock box.
#2 – There ain’t no Uncle Hymie or Uncle Jaime, willing to pay the winning number. There ain’t no Nunzio or Valdimir to take the call.
Do you think Uncle Wong, our Cheshire Cat Chinese banker, will lend us the money should Andrew and Wilma hook up?
I think not.
I mention “brown spots in London”, not because of the potential claims of “Under the Lion’s Paw” Floridians but, forgive me again, the coming tsunami of actual claims from Japan. I am referring to Lloyd’s of London. It is not an insurance company like, heh heh, Citizens but rather a market where syndicates pledge “their lives, their fortunes, and their scared honor” to honor the marker they have laid down. It is traditional that floor brokers wear blue or gray suits. The Lutine Bell has been pealing non-stop since Friday. Tomorrow will feature the darkest suits in the closet. Shortly after the opening there will be many brown spotted blue or gray trousers.
The “balloon juice” paradigm that is the basis of modern American Liberalism, that there is free lunch, the denial of “the sins we do two by two are paid for one by one”, that, Lysenko-like, gravity will respond favorably to men of good will, faces collapse from something that Nunzio would have told Uncle Hymie.
“If no profit is possible the risk is obvious.”
If Hobson’s Choice morphs into the Devil’s Alternative it may be time for the whole world to go Chapter X1 and start over.
“Man will not only endure; he will prevail.”
I hope.
Kevin Smith
Michael Mayo
The Sun-Sentinel.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: Hymie, Jaime, non-sequiturs, brown spots in London, something that’s in worse financial shape than Social Security, and, wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles, the truth - some comments on your column today about the rotters ruining the disappearing Florida middle class. At least the Governor didn’t say, “You’re fucking dead”.
Mr. Mayo,
Maybe you had an Uncle Hymie, a sporting gentleman, who entertained other similar gentlemen by accepting their friendly wagers on sporting events. Maybe when he couldn’t resist the siren call of Del Boca Vista, and in a bow to multi-culturalism, he sold his book to someone now known as Uncle Jaime.
Both had one thing in common.
If they had too much business on one event they called someone named Uncle Nunzio – today, he would probably be Uncle Vladimir – to “lay off” some of the action.
And that’s how the neighborhood bookmaker and the CEO of Engulf and Devour Insurance, a wholly owned subsidiary of Anaconda Mutual, are related.
I could say that “It’s turtles all the way down” but that would only muddy, forgive me, the rising waters. [Speaking of rising waters, didn’t Lord Barack the Beneficent say that he would make the oceans recede? Did a perpetual low tide in San Diego, doubtless a result of a “shovel ready” project, cause the surfers’ delight in Japan?
As a native New Yorker, as someone who believes that the only thing better than Mitchell-Lama for the fortunate few and rent stabilization for the working class, is rent control for the undeserving poor, you speak of the “Charlie Crist [insurance] price shackles”, as the golden age of besieged and beleaguered Floridians. You speak of their coming “unshackling” as if it were orchestrated by Bush and Cheney.
You say, in an absolutely mind boggling way
“Imagine a health insurance company that caters only to
the sick and those at the highest risk of cancer, diabetes
and heart disease – that’s Citizens Insurance in a nutshell.”
It is a truism that a political gaffe occurs when someone accidentally tells the truth. A big time fart in church has just sounded in the hallowed halls of modern American Liberalism.
As the great Dr. Johnson said, “Any public policy that involves robbing Peter to pay Paul will always have Paul’s support”.
If Florida property owners are “entitled” to insurance full disclosure demands that they be told how many chairs are left in the musical deck dance on the Titanic. Have the names Madoff and Rothstein gone down the memory hole? The next future claimant to Citizens Insurance should be told two things.
#1 – There ain’t no lock box.
#2 – There ain’t no Uncle Hymie or Uncle Jaime, willing to pay the winning number. There ain’t no Nunzio or Valdimir to take the call.
Do you think Uncle Wong, our Cheshire Cat Chinese banker, will lend us the money should Andrew and Wilma hook up?
I think not.
I mention “brown spots in London”, not because of the potential claims of “Under the Lion’s Paw” Floridians but, forgive me again, the coming tsunami of actual claims from Japan. I am referring to Lloyd’s of London. It is not an insurance company like, heh heh, Citizens but rather a market where syndicates pledge “their lives, their fortunes, and their scared honor” to honor the marker they have laid down. It is traditional that floor brokers wear blue or gray suits. The Lutine Bell has been pealing non-stop since Friday. Tomorrow will feature the darkest suits in the closet. Shortly after the opening there will be many brown spotted blue or gray trousers.
The “balloon juice” paradigm that is the basis of modern American Liberalism, that there is free lunch, the denial of “the sins we do two by two are paid for one by one”, that, Lysenko-like, gravity will respond favorably to men of good will, faces collapse from something that Nunzio would have told Uncle Hymie.
“If no profit is possible the risk is obvious.”
If Hobson’s Choice morphs into the Devil’s Alternative it may be time for the whole world to go Chapter X1 and start over.
“Man will not only endure; he will prevail.”
I hope.
Kevin Smith
Dana Millbank The Washington Post
March 12, 2011
Dana Millbank
The Washington Post
Washington, DC
RE: HUAC, Joe McCarthy, ALGER HISS & THE ROSENBERGS, The Red Scare and don’t you know that Congressman King can’t stand NPR. Some comments on your achingly formulaic column on the evangelical Neanderthals among us.
Mr. Milbank,
Einstein was right. This is a remarkable, I dare say “exceptional”, country. “Where else in the world can you read tomorrow’s news today”? Thus, when I read your column dated 3/13/11 on 3/12/11, I know why “people never swim to Cuba”.
You have a few errors of omission in your modern American Liberal screed. To say that you suffer from an excess of “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome” would be to give glitterati eructations a good name.
Real quick. No GOOGLE. Who was President during the original Red Scare? Who was his Attorney General? What did he do?
Wilson, a Democrat. Palmer, a Democrat. A pattern of trashing the Constitution was established that stood for 40 years. Bobby Kennedy broke it. Vide Castro, Hoffa, Monroe, and Martin Luther King. I’ll get back to Blessed Bobby.
It is always owed to the record that whenever the name of Woodrow Wilson is mentioned the words of Justice Thurgood Marshall must be recalled. He was the vilest, the most vicious bigoted racist ever to sit in the Oval Office. Did I say he was a Democrat? I did, didn’t I?
HUAC, the House Un-American Activities Committee, was passed with the support of an overwhelmingly Democratic Congress. It was welcomed with open arms by the Democratic President who signed it enthusiastically.
The 600 pound gorilla in the corner, the 1200 pound undrowned polar bear killing precious baby seals, and the 4600 pound turd in our punch bowl is how did the Russkies get those atomic bomb secrets. Do you suppose if the Janet Napolitano’s SS, the crack flying squad known as the Transportation Security Administration, had been guarding Los Alamos Julius and Ethel would have gone back to being community activists rather than being turned into Krispy Kritters?
Before we get to the horrors of having Hollywood celebrities refuse to answer questions it is well to remember that the same power to ask them was used to ask questions during Watergate and Iran-Contra. If memory serves there was only one witness – G. Gordon Liddy – who said he would not answer. The Democratic majority didn’t call him. I remember Colonel North answering every question asked of him, particularly those asked by that sap lawyer Nields.
Speaking of Senator McCarthy you must remember that his first counsel was Bobby Kennedy. There is a rumor that Old Joe fired him because the other Old Joe, Bobby’s father, couldn’t wait to get his hands on all those investigative files. The other rumor is that Senator McCarthy wanted to break out of the Irish Catholic Mafia. What better way than by hiring Roy Cohn, a Jew?
The obligatory disclaimer that not all Muslims are terrorists is offset by the inconvenient truth that all terrorists in the 21st century have been Muslims. Sharia law, fatwas, 72 infidel virgins, stonings, cliteroidectomies, amputations, slavery, honor killings, outlawing whistling and balloons – and that’s before any buildings get blown up!
We have Congressional hearings featuring Meryl Streep telling us of the horrors of Alar. Ben Affleck, noted political pundit, just this week told us of the horrors of some unknown African abattoir. Didn’t we have some celebrity zombies tell Congress that measles vaccine caused Autism? Why not have Congress ask some questions even if it is done in a ham handed way? That’s in keeping with tradition too.
“But as we laugh we are watched by large and awful faces from beyond;
and on these faces there is no smile.”
As to CAIR…I would like to know what NPR thinks of them when the swells getting fat on the public teat are sipping Chablis or Cosmos in the trendy bistro du jour. They sure as Hell wouldn’t be allowed in any saloon that got my business.
Kevin Smith
PS - Your Post bio says that you live in DC. Did your children attend the really fine public schools there?
Dana Millbank
The Washington Post
Washington, DC
RE: HUAC, Joe McCarthy, ALGER HISS & THE ROSENBERGS, The Red Scare and don’t you know that Congressman King can’t stand NPR. Some comments on your achingly formulaic column on the evangelical Neanderthals among us.
Mr. Milbank,
Einstein was right. This is a remarkable, I dare say “exceptional”, country. “Where else in the world can you read tomorrow’s news today”? Thus, when I read your column dated 3/13/11 on 3/12/11, I know why “people never swim to Cuba”.
You have a few errors of omission in your modern American Liberal screed. To say that you suffer from an excess of “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome” would be to give glitterati eructations a good name.
Real quick. No GOOGLE. Who was President during the original Red Scare? Who was his Attorney General? What did he do?
Wilson, a Democrat. Palmer, a Democrat. A pattern of trashing the Constitution was established that stood for 40 years. Bobby Kennedy broke it. Vide Castro, Hoffa, Monroe, and Martin Luther King. I’ll get back to Blessed Bobby.
It is always owed to the record that whenever the name of Woodrow Wilson is mentioned the words of Justice Thurgood Marshall must be recalled. He was the vilest, the most vicious bigoted racist ever to sit in the Oval Office. Did I say he was a Democrat? I did, didn’t I?
HUAC, the House Un-American Activities Committee, was passed with the support of an overwhelmingly Democratic Congress. It was welcomed with open arms by the Democratic President who signed it enthusiastically.
The 600 pound gorilla in the corner, the 1200 pound undrowned polar bear killing precious baby seals, and the 4600 pound turd in our punch bowl is how did the Russkies get those atomic bomb secrets. Do you suppose if the Janet Napolitano’s SS, the crack flying squad known as the Transportation Security Administration, had been guarding Los Alamos Julius and Ethel would have gone back to being community activists rather than being turned into Krispy Kritters?
Before we get to the horrors of having Hollywood celebrities refuse to answer questions it is well to remember that the same power to ask them was used to ask questions during Watergate and Iran-Contra. If memory serves there was only one witness – G. Gordon Liddy – who said he would not answer. The Democratic majority didn’t call him. I remember Colonel North answering every question asked of him, particularly those asked by that sap lawyer Nields.
Speaking of Senator McCarthy you must remember that his first counsel was Bobby Kennedy. There is a rumor that Old Joe fired him because the other Old Joe, Bobby’s father, couldn’t wait to get his hands on all those investigative files. The other rumor is that Senator McCarthy wanted to break out of the Irish Catholic Mafia. What better way than by hiring Roy Cohn, a Jew?
The obligatory disclaimer that not all Muslims are terrorists is offset by the inconvenient truth that all terrorists in the 21st century have been Muslims. Sharia law, fatwas, 72 infidel virgins, stonings, cliteroidectomies, amputations, slavery, honor killings, outlawing whistling and balloons – and that’s before any buildings get blown up!
We have Congressional hearings featuring Meryl Streep telling us of the horrors of Alar. Ben Affleck, noted political pundit, just this week told us of the horrors of some unknown African abattoir. Didn’t we have some celebrity zombies tell Congress that measles vaccine caused Autism? Why not have Congress ask some questions even if it is done in a ham handed way? That’s in keeping with tradition too.
“But as we laugh we are watched by large and awful faces from beyond;
and on these faces there is no smile.”
As to CAIR…I would like to know what NPR thinks of them when the swells getting fat on the public teat are sipping Chablis or Cosmos in the trendy bistro du jour. They sure as Hell wouldn’t be allowed in any saloon that got my business.
Kevin Smith
PS - Your Post bio says that you live in DC. Did your children attend the really fine public schools there?
Gary Stein The Sun-Sentinel
March 9, 2011
Gary Stein
The Sun-Sentinel
200 E. Las Olas Blvd
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33316
RE: “Loving Mom needs help, not prison” – Some comments on your column and some congratulations and Good Luck on your coming assignment.
Mr. Stein,
When you’re right, you’re right.
Tammy Kingkham protected her children as best as she could. She raised her two daughters for two years in a hand dug burrow under a playground on the beach in Ft. Lauderdale. [Would it be too sarcastic of me to point out that if she and her children were nesting turtles they would have spent the last two years in a condo on Las Olas Boulevard? It wouldn’t? Great.]
She should be the poster girl for “shovel ready” jobs. She did it without a shovel. Lord Barack the Beneficent should pardon her and… and…give her a shovel. Since the new buzz word, the word with gravitas, is infrastructure, give her a steam shovel.
As to her two daughters, some good may come from their “victims of life’s circumstances” plight.
Florida needs a state wide agency to protect families and children in distress. Why not have a contest for the name? What better way to show how good government can be? My choice is DCF. Department of Children and Families. Even the niggardly Republicans in the legislature would be in favor of it.
But that’s not why I write.
I’ve given up Little Stevie Goldstein for Lent. I’ve gone cold turkey. No patches, no hypnosis. Ash Wednesday to Easter Sunday. My only staff, as in staff and rod, will be T.S. Eliot.
You have become my default servee. My replacement piñata, if you will.
Florida is now #1 in two areas. We lead the nation in Oxycodone prescriptions, consumption, and in one or the few employment areas trending upward, resale. [Strange are the ways of “job creation” but the country needs all the good news it can get.]
The other #1 laurel is for impeached Federal Judges who get elected to Congress from a district that would elect O.J. Simpson., Michael Jackson, or a tooth fairy provided said fairy was Black. Should a new entrant appear and a tie breaker is needed for the Federal Judge/felon/Congressman category – Alcee Hastings is the only contestant - a sex scandal will be added for next year’s tournament. Talk about March Madness!
I want you to lead the press investigation, the outraged press investigation I add, into this.
If you need a template for the probe I suggest, respectfully, very respectfully, that you use the Clarence Thomas model.
You remember that one, don’t you?
No dudgeon is higher than that of an outraged modern American Liberal.
That was why it was OK to talk about pubic hair on Coke cans, King Dong movies, garbage can searches, hear say evidence, and what ever the lawn jockey Judge said was a lie because a brilliant Black law school teacher said he did it.
You won’t have to worry about the presumption of innocence with regards to Congressman Hastings. Nobody cared about that when Judge Thomas was in the crosshairs.
The governing principle is “Verdict first; then the trial”.
Don’t you miss the good old days?
I know that Stevie – Stevie the Wonder, to his best buds and BFF – would be on this like ugly on an ape.
Today you’re an understudy. Tomorrow you could be a star.
Kevin Smith
Gary Stein
The Sun-Sentinel
200 E. Las Olas Blvd
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33316
RE: “Loving Mom needs help, not prison” – Some comments on your column and some congratulations and Good Luck on your coming assignment.
Mr. Stein,
When you’re right, you’re right.
Tammy Kingkham protected her children as best as she could. She raised her two daughters for two years in a hand dug burrow under a playground on the beach in Ft. Lauderdale. [Would it be too sarcastic of me to point out that if she and her children were nesting turtles they would have spent the last two years in a condo on Las Olas Boulevard? It wouldn’t? Great.]
She should be the poster girl for “shovel ready” jobs. She did it without a shovel. Lord Barack the Beneficent should pardon her and… and…give her a shovel. Since the new buzz word, the word with gravitas, is infrastructure, give her a steam shovel.
As to her two daughters, some good may come from their “victims of life’s circumstances” plight.
Florida needs a state wide agency to protect families and children in distress. Why not have a contest for the name? What better way to show how good government can be? My choice is DCF. Department of Children and Families. Even the niggardly Republicans in the legislature would be in favor of it.
But that’s not why I write.
I’ve given up Little Stevie Goldstein for Lent. I’ve gone cold turkey. No patches, no hypnosis. Ash Wednesday to Easter Sunday. My only staff, as in staff and rod, will be T.S. Eliot.
You have become my default servee. My replacement piñata, if you will.
Florida is now #1 in two areas. We lead the nation in Oxycodone prescriptions, consumption, and in one or the few employment areas trending upward, resale. [Strange are the ways of “job creation” but the country needs all the good news it can get.]
The other #1 laurel is for impeached Federal Judges who get elected to Congress from a district that would elect O.J. Simpson., Michael Jackson, or a tooth fairy provided said fairy was Black. Should a new entrant appear and a tie breaker is needed for the Federal Judge/felon/Congressman category – Alcee Hastings is the only contestant - a sex scandal will be added for next year’s tournament. Talk about March Madness!
I want you to lead the press investigation, the outraged press investigation I add, into this.
If you need a template for the probe I suggest, respectfully, very respectfully, that you use the Clarence Thomas model.
You remember that one, don’t you?
No dudgeon is higher than that of an outraged modern American Liberal.
That was why it was OK to talk about pubic hair on Coke cans, King Dong movies, garbage can searches, hear say evidence, and what ever the lawn jockey Judge said was a lie because a brilliant Black law school teacher said he did it.
You won’t have to worry about the presumption of innocence with regards to Congressman Hastings. Nobody cared about that when Judge Thomas was in the crosshairs.
The governing principle is “Verdict first; then the trial”.
Don’t you miss the good old days?
I know that Stevie – Stevie the Wonder, to his best buds and BFF – would be on this like ugly on an ape.
Today you’re an understudy. Tomorrow you could be a star.
Kevin Smith
March 8, 2011
Steven L. Goldstein
The Sun-Sentinel
200 E. Las Olas Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33316
RE: “You’ve been had”
My dear Professor,
I know I said that I was giving you up for Lent. As a card carrying modern American Liberal, and a secular humanist to boot, I can’t expect you to be up on the Christian Liturgical Calendar. Ash Wednesday isn’t that big a deal. Compared to Ramadan it’s small potatoes. As I write this it still isn’t Lent.
Not two weeks ago your column said “You’ve been had”. In your formulaic presentation of how the Bush family, and if there are a bigger set of trolls anywhere I don’t know of them, caused Global Warming sufficient to end the last Ice Age – they are an ancient family – by having all their retainers and sycophants fill the sky with synchronized eructations sufficient to reverse the tides and, perforce, melt the ice. Or maybe not. Either way it was “another lash on the backs of the poor”.
I think maybe, and it pains me to say this, you’ve been had.
When Lord Barack the Beneficent told us that Camp Gitmo, America’s first adult sleepaway camp in the Caribbean, was being used as a recruiting tool by the disadvantaged youth who listened to the siren song of al Qaeda, he said the answer was simple: Shut it down. Further, the plan to hold military tribunals there would be like the Moscow show trials. [That may be a bad example. Modern American Liberals never had much to say about them. Just like they didn’t have much to say when Hitler and Stalin got together in 1939. Auden was right, as only a poet can be, about that decade] His race crazed nit wit Clinton pardon seller, Attorney General Eric Holder, said, Let’s try them in New York City. How about Battery Park? The Statue of Liberty? If not there how about Arlington National Cemetery? Any place but Gitmo.
This charlatan, this fraud is starting to make LBJ look good. Remember “I will never send American boys to fight in an Asian war”? If you don’t there’s a wall in DC that may shake your memory.
What was the bring the boys and girls home, you should excuse the expression, drop dead date from Iraq? Afghanistan?
All right thinking people know that the run up in oil and gas prices in 2007 was caused by Darth Cheney, Bush’s evil puppet master. Is he still around? Which acceptable modern American Liberal boogeyman caused this year’s spike? George Soros is in the oil business, isn’t he? That’s the Chicago Way. In spades.
Other than getting the hospital at the University of Chicago a $1,000,000 earmark – that’s one million dollars - to cover his wife’s $200,000 annual pay raise – that’s four thousand dollars a week – when he was elected to the United States Senate what the Hell did he ever do before he got to the White House?
Let me amend that.
He did one thing very well.
He made plaid his favorite color.
Then he snookered you.
Stevie, it pains me to tell you this but You’ve been had.
Kevin Smith
PS – Because we are within hours of the holy season of Lent I will not use one of my favorite movie lines. It’s from My Favorite Year. “What a putz!”
Steven L. Goldstein
The Sun-Sentinel
200 E. Las Olas Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33316
RE: “You’ve been had”
My dear Professor,
I know I said that I was giving you up for Lent. As a card carrying modern American Liberal, and a secular humanist to boot, I can’t expect you to be up on the Christian Liturgical Calendar. Ash Wednesday isn’t that big a deal. Compared to Ramadan it’s small potatoes. As I write this it still isn’t Lent.
Not two weeks ago your column said “You’ve been had”. In your formulaic presentation of how the Bush family, and if there are a bigger set of trolls anywhere I don’t know of them, caused Global Warming sufficient to end the last Ice Age – they are an ancient family – by having all their retainers and sycophants fill the sky with synchronized eructations sufficient to reverse the tides and, perforce, melt the ice. Or maybe not. Either way it was “another lash on the backs of the poor”.
I think maybe, and it pains me to say this, you’ve been had.
When Lord Barack the Beneficent told us that Camp Gitmo, America’s first adult sleepaway camp in the Caribbean, was being used as a recruiting tool by the disadvantaged youth who listened to the siren song of al Qaeda, he said the answer was simple: Shut it down. Further, the plan to hold military tribunals there would be like the Moscow show trials. [That may be a bad example. Modern American Liberals never had much to say about them. Just like they didn’t have much to say when Hitler and Stalin got together in 1939. Auden was right, as only a poet can be, about that decade] His race crazed nit wit Clinton pardon seller, Attorney General Eric Holder, said, Let’s try them in New York City. How about Battery Park? The Statue of Liberty? If not there how about Arlington National Cemetery? Any place but Gitmo.
This charlatan, this fraud is starting to make LBJ look good. Remember “I will never send American boys to fight in an Asian war”? If you don’t there’s a wall in DC that may shake your memory.
What was the bring the boys and girls home, you should excuse the expression, drop dead date from Iraq? Afghanistan?
All right thinking people know that the run up in oil and gas prices in 2007 was caused by Darth Cheney, Bush’s evil puppet master. Is he still around? Which acceptable modern American Liberal boogeyman caused this year’s spike? George Soros is in the oil business, isn’t he? That’s the Chicago Way. In spades.
Other than getting the hospital at the University of Chicago a $1,000,000 earmark – that’s one million dollars - to cover his wife’s $200,000 annual pay raise – that’s four thousand dollars a week – when he was elected to the United States Senate what the Hell did he ever do before he got to the White House?
Let me amend that.
He did one thing very well.
He made plaid his favorite color.
Then he snookered you.
Stevie, it pains me to tell you this but You’ve been had.
Kevin Smith
PS – Because we are within hours of the holy season of Lent I will not use one of my favorite movie lines. It’s from My Favorite Year. “What a putz!”
Monday, March 7, 2011
Brandon K. Thorp Broward New Times
March 4, 2011
Brandon K. Thorp
Broward New Times
16 NE 4th Street
Ft. Lauderdale, FL. 33301
RE: “West versus a Muslim” – Some comments on your story in the March 3rd edition. Call me a cockeyed optimist but I thought your title meant something else.
Mr. Thorp,
At the very least the “Muslim supplicant” wasn’t surrounded by louts yelling “You suck” as the Wisconsin state senator was in peaceful Madison 3 days ago. Nor did he hear “You’re fucking dead as the Wisconsin representative heard on the floor of the Wisconsin legislature.
Would I be making my point the hard way if I were to point out that both elected officials are Republican?
As to Congressman West’s “usual parlor game of naming dates of alleged Muslim attacks upon peaceable Christian Europeans” [emphasis mine] Logic would dictate that you believe that they didn’t happen.
Gosh but that’s dumb. Perhaps you think that History began with the Beatles. Perhaps you think that “Can’t we all just get along?” is a good defense policy. Perhaps you don’t think. Tighten your seat belt. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.
I hasten to add that “my contempt is not personal”.
732 - 1571 - 1685
Less than 100 years after Mohammed learned of all those infidel virgins waiting for the more adventuresome of his swordsmen Muslim hordes were halfway across Europe. If Charles Martel hadn’t stopped them in 732 would there ever have been a cathedral at Chartres? Would Dante ever have said that “halfway through his journey he found himself in the dark wood of error? Would DaVinci have given us the Last Supper? Would Michelangelo have made marble breathe? Which Muslim country had a Renaissance?
In 1571 a vastly outnumbered Christian fleet routed an Islamic invasion fleet. Lepanto is in Italy. What were the peace loving Muslims doing there?
In 1685 Viennese bakers made the first croissants. To show their contempt for their religion they threw them at the feral Muslim throng besieging their city. I listened to part of Bach’s 6th Brandenburg Concerto this afternoon. If the Muslims had won would I have been able to listen to it? Would it have survived Sharia law? How about Handel? How about Mozart? How about Beethoven? Why were they there?
I search in vain for any Muslim scientific, literary, musical, or cultural accomplishments in the last 1000 years. If there is something that I missed please direct me to a source that will enlighten me.
Your admonition to Congressman West to be “more gentlemanly” is contrary to the rules of engagement laid down by modern American Liberals. Did not every conversation about President Bush begin by comparing him to Hitler? Did they not go downhill from there?
Finally, a check of the passenger manifests on the hi-jacked planes of 9/11, the ones that killed 3,000 people in a most “ungentlemanly” manner, reveals no Patagonians, no Icelanders, and no Baptists brandishing box cutters.
I am sorry – not really – that mentioning the above makes you “uncomfortable”. “We are watched by large and awful faces from beyond; and on those faces there is no smile.”
Sane men, men who read History, might say it is time to update Cato’s warning. He concluded every speech in the Senate, regardless of the topic, with the words “Cartago delenda est”. Perhaps today’s version should be “Mecca delenda est”.
Kevin Smith
Brandon K. Thorp
Broward New Times
16 NE 4th Street
Ft. Lauderdale, FL. 33301
RE: “West versus a Muslim” – Some comments on your story in the March 3rd edition. Call me a cockeyed optimist but I thought your title meant something else.
Mr. Thorp,
At the very least the “Muslim supplicant” wasn’t surrounded by louts yelling “You suck” as the Wisconsin state senator was in peaceful Madison 3 days ago. Nor did he hear “You’re fucking dead as the Wisconsin representative heard on the floor of the Wisconsin legislature.
Would I be making my point the hard way if I were to point out that both elected officials are Republican?
As to Congressman West’s “usual parlor game of naming dates of alleged Muslim attacks upon peaceable Christian Europeans” [emphasis mine] Logic would dictate that you believe that they didn’t happen.
Gosh but that’s dumb. Perhaps you think that History began with the Beatles. Perhaps you think that “Can’t we all just get along?” is a good defense policy. Perhaps you don’t think. Tighten your seat belt. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.
I hasten to add that “my contempt is not personal”.
732 - 1571 - 1685
Less than 100 years after Mohammed learned of all those infidel virgins waiting for the more adventuresome of his swordsmen Muslim hordes were halfway across Europe. If Charles Martel hadn’t stopped them in 732 would there ever have been a cathedral at Chartres? Would Dante ever have said that “halfway through his journey he found himself in the dark wood of error? Would DaVinci have given us the Last Supper? Would Michelangelo have made marble breathe? Which Muslim country had a Renaissance?
In 1571 a vastly outnumbered Christian fleet routed an Islamic invasion fleet. Lepanto is in Italy. What were the peace loving Muslims doing there?
In 1685 Viennese bakers made the first croissants. To show their contempt for their religion they threw them at the feral Muslim throng besieging their city. I listened to part of Bach’s 6th Brandenburg Concerto this afternoon. If the Muslims had won would I have been able to listen to it? Would it have survived Sharia law? How about Handel? How about Mozart? How about Beethoven? Why were they there?
I search in vain for any Muslim scientific, literary, musical, or cultural accomplishments in the last 1000 years. If there is something that I missed please direct me to a source that will enlighten me.
Your admonition to Congressman West to be “more gentlemanly” is contrary to the rules of engagement laid down by modern American Liberals. Did not every conversation about President Bush begin by comparing him to Hitler? Did they not go downhill from there?
Finally, a check of the passenger manifests on the hi-jacked planes of 9/11, the ones that killed 3,000 people in a most “ungentlemanly” manner, reveals no Patagonians, no Icelanders, and no Baptists brandishing box cutters.
I am sorry – not really – that mentioning the above makes you “uncomfortable”. “We are watched by large and awful faces from beyond; and on those faces there is no smile.”
Sane men, men who read History, might say it is time to update Cato’s warning. He concluded every speech in the Senate, regardless of the topic, with the words “Cartago delenda est”. Perhaps today’s version should be “Mecca delenda est”.
Kevin Smith
Patrick Zarelli - Publisher The South Florida Chronicle
March 3, 2011
Patrick Zarelli - Publisher
The South Florida Chronicle
P.O. Box 460442
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33346
RE: Happy New Year?
Mr. Zarelli,
It’s bad enough that you probably vote but the thought that you can reproduce is…is…what’s the word...abhorrent will do for now.
It’s not that you are dumb – the facts would support that interpretation – it’s just that there’s so much you don’t know.
I don’t want to put too much of a burden on you so I’ll just focus on one thing.
New Year’s Resolution #5
“Believe in our scientists again.”
Again?
Weren’t scientists the really bright group who told us that the sun revolved around the earth? Weren’t they the guys who told us that tomatoes were poisonous? I forget. How did Lysenko’s plan for potatoes work out?
I am holding a copy of “The Population Bomb”. It was written in 1969. The author, Paul Ehrlich, PhD, was a really bright guy. He said the race was between the world starving to death or freezing to death by the year 2000. Don’t bother checking your calendar. It’s March 3, 2011. Plus, Lord Barack’s bottom line lady tells us that teenage obesity is the biggest problem this country has faced since the ominous confluence of the Bermuda Triangle and the treacherous leisure suit.
If I were to say that you couldn’t find your ass using both your hands you would probably take it as a compliment.
Don’t.
Kevin Smith
Patrick Zarelli - Publisher
The South Florida Chronicle
P.O. Box 460442
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33346
RE: Happy New Year?
Mr. Zarelli,
It’s bad enough that you probably vote but the thought that you can reproduce is…is…what’s the word...abhorrent will do for now.
It’s not that you are dumb – the facts would support that interpretation – it’s just that there’s so much you don’t know.
I don’t want to put too much of a burden on you so I’ll just focus on one thing.
New Year’s Resolution #5
“Believe in our scientists again.”
Again?
Weren’t scientists the really bright group who told us that the sun revolved around the earth? Weren’t they the guys who told us that tomatoes were poisonous? I forget. How did Lysenko’s plan for potatoes work out?
I am holding a copy of “The Population Bomb”. It was written in 1969. The author, Paul Ehrlich, PhD, was a really bright guy. He said the race was between the world starving to death or freezing to death by the year 2000. Don’t bother checking your calendar. It’s March 3, 2011. Plus, Lord Barack’s bottom line lady tells us that teenage obesity is the biggest problem this country has faced since the ominous confluence of the Bermuda Triangle and the treacherous leisure suit.
If I were to say that you couldn’t find your ass using both your hands you would probably take it as a compliment.
Don’t.
Kevin Smith
Gary Stein The Sun-Sentinel
March 2, 2011
Gary Stein
The Sun-Sentinel
200 E. Las Olas Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: “Fairness, equality” – The never ending mantra of modern American Liberalism as proclaimed by you in today’s Sun-Sentinel.
Mr. Stein,
A case could be made that “fairness” and its constant companion “equality” are like the horizon. The horizon is out there but, try as you will, it will never quite be reached. But that’s a different discussion.
Your celebration of President Obama’s decision to ignore the oath of office that he took when he was inaugurated forces me to go back to Ulysses S. Grant. From there it is a short hop to Saint Thomas More.
The oath that he took is short and straight forward.
“I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute
the office of President of the United States, and will
to the best of my ability preserve, protect and defend the
Constitution of the United States.”
Shall we stipulate to the following?
#1 – The Defense of Marriage Act [DOMA] was passed by Congress.
#2 – It was signed into law by President Clinton.
#3 – That makes it the law of the land.
We can? Good.
“I am unable to lay my finger upon the part of Constitution” that gives the President of the United States the power to pick and choose which laws he will uphold or, worse, which laws he will not uphold.
I am glad that you are encouraged by “a sign that even the more extreme elements in our society are finally starting to accept what many of us have accepted”. That the great unwashed among us, those Apeneck Sweeney-like zombies, those “bitter clingers”, are coming around to the Stein view of the inevitable political perfectibility of man may not be a reason for even a minor Te Deum.
The President of the United States will not enforce a valid law of the United States.
The Attorney General of the United States will not uphold a valid law of the United States because he says, “It demeans my people”.
Justice may be blind but that has not affected her sense of smell.
The power to pick and choose which law to obey and which law not to obey raises a stench in the nostrils of honest men. That leads us to Ulysses S. Grant.
We should be grateful for him giving his friend Sherman carte blanche in December, 1864 to march east from Atlanta and “make’em howls”. By so doing he shortened the war by 18 months, freed the slaves that much quicker, and saved thousands of lives. One of the inconvenient facts of History is that scarcely 2 months before he started out the New York Times and the Democratic Party wanted to “settle” with the South. Such a settlement would have allowed slavery to continue. And, in a bow to civility, they referred to Lincoln as a “baboon”. It is always good to point that out.
As a bonus, Sherman’s “surge” served as a precedent for future American military leaders. Pershing did it in 1918. Patton did it in 1944. Petraeus did it 2007.
The other thing Grant did was to establish the best way to treat an unpopular or unfair law. He said the quickest way to repeal it was to enforce it.
It might be mixing the sacred and the profane but it’s a short jump from Grant to Saint Thomas More.
“And when you cut down every law in England to get at
the Devil and he turned on you where would you hide,
the laws all being flat?”
What happens if a real honest to goodness, fire breathing, gun toting, snake handling Tea Party lad or lass becomes President? We know that all things are possible in American politics.
Who could have imagined on March 2, 2007 that Senator Barack Obama would become President? It is a bit late to point out but he never did anything, ever. He never had what could be called a real job. He never tried any cases that didn’t involve a landlord/tenant dispute. He never negotiated a settlement between 2 or 3 adversarial parties. If his choice to eclectically enforce what used to be known as the Law of the Land makes him a constitutional scholar then I am the designated base stealer for the Marlins. Between innings I will serenade the 17 people in attendance by playing Bach on my cello cum boombass. When the season is over I will return to my life’s love, the thing I am really good at: Community Organizer.
What happens if the Peoples’ Choice in 2013 decides that the polar bears are on their own because he thinks the Clean Air law is not worth enforcing?
What happens if he thinks certain parts of the Constitution are too restrictive or not restrictive enough?
What happens if thinks the Courts or Congress are impediments to what he thinks are “fairness and equality”?
Thomas More said “this country is planted thick with laws from coast to coast”.
How many issues are more critical than the Rule of Law?
Absent it and we may as well be in Libya.
Kevin Smith
Gary Stein
The Sun-Sentinel
200 E. Las Olas Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: “Fairness, equality” – The never ending mantra of modern American Liberalism as proclaimed by you in today’s Sun-Sentinel.
Mr. Stein,
A case could be made that “fairness” and its constant companion “equality” are like the horizon. The horizon is out there but, try as you will, it will never quite be reached. But that’s a different discussion.
Your celebration of President Obama’s decision to ignore the oath of office that he took when he was inaugurated forces me to go back to Ulysses S. Grant. From there it is a short hop to Saint Thomas More.
The oath that he took is short and straight forward.
“I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute
the office of President of the United States, and will
to the best of my ability preserve, protect and defend the
Constitution of the United States.”
Shall we stipulate to the following?
#1 – The Defense of Marriage Act [DOMA] was passed by Congress.
#2 – It was signed into law by President Clinton.
#3 – That makes it the law of the land.
We can? Good.
“I am unable to lay my finger upon the part of Constitution” that gives the President of the United States the power to pick and choose which laws he will uphold or, worse, which laws he will not uphold.
I am glad that you are encouraged by “a sign that even the more extreme elements in our society are finally starting to accept what many of us have accepted”. That the great unwashed among us, those Apeneck Sweeney-like zombies, those “bitter clingers”, are coming around to the Stein view of the inevitable political perfectibility of man may not be a reason for even a minor Te Deum.
The President of the United States will not enforce a valid law of the United States.
The Attorney General of the United States will not uphold a valid law of the United States because he says, “It demeans my people”.
Justice may be blind but that has not affected her sense of smell.
The power to pick and choose which law to obey and which law not to obey raises a stench in the nostrils of honest men. That leads us to Ulysses S. Grant.
We should be grateful for him giving his friend Sherman carte blanche in December, 1864 to march east from Atlanta and “make’em howls”. By so doing he shortened the war by 18 months, freed the slaves that much quicker, and saved thousands of lives. One of the inconvenient facts of History is that scarcely 2 months before he started out the New York Times and the Democratic Party wanted to “settle” with the South. Such a settlement would have allowed slavery to continue. And, in a bow to civility, they referred to Lincoln as a “baboon”. It is always good to point that out.
As a bonus, Sherman’s “surge” served as a precedent for future American military leaders. Pershing did it in 1918. Patton did it in 1944. Petraeus did it 2007.
The other thing Grant did was to establish the best way to treat an unpopular or unfair law. He said the quickest way to repeal it was to enforce it.
It might be mixing the sacred and the profane but it’s a short jump from Grant to Saint Thomas More.
“And when you cut down every law in England to get at
the Devil and he turned on you where would you hide,
the laws all being flat?”
What happens if a real honest to goodness, fire breathing, gun toting, snake handling Tea Party lad or lass becomes President? We know that all things are possible in American politics.
Who could have imagined on March 2, 2007 that Senator Barack Obama would become President? It is a bit late to point out but he never did anything, ever. He never had what could be called a real job. He never tried any cases that didn’t involve a landlord/tenant dispute. He never negotiated a settlement between 2 or 3 adversarial parties. If his choice to eclectically enforce what used to be known as the Law of the Land makes him a constitutional scholar then I am the designated base stealer for the Marlins. Between innings I will serenade the 17 people in attendance by playing Bach on my cello cum boombass. When the season is over I will return to my life’s love, the thing I am really good at: Community Organizer.
What happens if the Peoples’ Choice in 2013 decides that the polar bears are on their own because he thinks the Clean Air law is not worth enforcing?
What happens if he thinks certain parts of the Constitution are too restrictive or not restrictive enough?
What happens if thinks the Courts or Congress are impediments to what he thinks are “fairness and equality”?
Thomas More said “this country is planted thick with laws from coast to coast”.
How many issues are more critical than the Rule of Law?
Absent it and we may as well be in Libya.
Kevin Smith
Congressperson Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
March 2, 2011
Congressperson Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
10100 Pembroke Pines Blvd.
Pembroke Pines, FL 33026
RE: Be “civil” or I’ll beat the Bejeezus out of you.
My dear Congressperson,
Maybe the Wisconsin coven of witches, warlocks, hecates, and harridans didn’t get your memo on civility. That’s the one that said we were “tearing ourselves apart at the seams”. It seems that too much “bile and vitriol” is fouling the river of reasoned discourse, or so you say in your best Nanny tone.
The reason I am sending this to you is because you are a Broward county modern American Liberal. Plus, you are an elected official. Double plus, because you give new meaning to the term “smarmy”.
Do you remember when Plantation Councilman Roger Wishner called the police because another Councilman, David Harlem, threatened him with his finger? He said his index finger was pointed at him “in a threatening manner”. He told the police that the finger was like a gun and he felt “assaulted”. If Councilman Harlem had raised and wagged his middle finger at him it would have been political speech and as such protected. Other than Councilman Wishner making himself into a total horse’s ass there were no consequences.
Honest. You could look it up.
Fast forward to America’s Heartland. I understand that if you buy margarine there it comes in a plain brown wrapper. It’s Paula Deen’s idea of heaven.
State Senator Glenn Grothman [R-WI] found himself surrounded by some enthusiastic wanabee community organizers in front of the state capitol in Madison, WI. The irenic protestors shouted “Shame” and “You suck”.
Doubtless, “shame” is a value judgment and is clearly protected.
“You suck” may be political speech. Lord knows it is up close and personal. If it is said in support of ObamaCare it too is protected. I know that you find ObamaCare “disparaging” but “sucking” is the only fail proof, 100% guaranteed, 100% organic, no carbon footprint form of birth control. Plus, it is available without a prescription and without a co-pay. If there is a co-pay it would normally be, you know what I’m saying, illegal. Just this week the President of the United States and the Attorney General decided that while all laws were equal some laws were less legal than the others.
The President has ordered his lawyers to stop defending a valid law. The defense of Marriage Act was passed by Congress and signed by President Clinton. Until it is repealed or overturned it is the law of the land. “I am unable to lay my finger on that part of the Constitution” that enables the President to pick and choose which laws he will or not defend. If “chilling effect” and “slippery slope” had not lost their cachet because of excessive use it would be a perfect term.
Apparently Attorney General Holder must still be recovering from being the fall guy in the Clinton pardon scam. He decided not to uphold a law because it would “demean his people”.
I mention the above because the way laws are being interpreted by this cast of modern American Liberal ohmadahns the co-pay for a full Lewinsky may soon be legal. Just one more benefit of the still not totally read ObamaCare bill.
The Supreme Court ruled today by an 8 to 1 vote – That means that all the “good” Justices plus most of the “bad” Justices voted for it – that it’s OK to shout “faggot” and “queer” at the funeral of a GI killed in combat. Do you think the President should obey this ruling? Just thinking “faggot” and “queer” means that we will soon be “tearing ourselves apart at the seams”? Can there be anything worse than shouting it? Not if we adopt the rule set down so eloquently by Representative Gordon Hintz [D-WI] that you can say anything until someone is offended by it. It’s OK to say “You’re fucking dead” to other members of the legislature until another member feels offended. Then you give a half-assed modern American Liberal apology and say it again.
But back to those friggin’ brownshirted, hob nail booted, Nazi louts in Madison.
If Councilman Wishner can claim assault for a wagging finger those Fascist bastards – Wisconsin chapter - should be flogged.
Let the record show that Senator Grothman, a Republican, was rescued by Representative Hulsey, a Democrat.
Let the record further show that you preaching civility would be like Charlie Sheen preaching on effective parenting and life skills.
Kevin Smith
Congressperson Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
10100 Pembroke Pines Blvd.
Pembroke Pines, FL 33026
RE: Be “civil” or I’ll beat the Bejeezus out of you.
My dear Congressperson,
Maybe the Wisconsin coven of witches, warlocks, hecates, and harridans didn’t get your memo on civility. That’s the one that said we were “tearing ourselves apart at the seams”. It seems that too much “bile and vitriol” is fouling the river of reasoned discourse, or so you say in your best Nanny tone.
The reason I am sending this to you is because you are a Broward county modern American Liberal. Plus, you are an elected official. Double plus, because you give new meaning to the term “smarmy”.
Do you remember when Plantation Councilman Roger Wishner called the police because another Councilman, David Harlem, threatened him with his finger? He said his index finger was pointed at him “in a threatening manner”. He told the police that the finger was like a gun and he felt “assaulted”. If Councilman Harlem had raised and wagged his middle finger at him it would have been political speech and as such protected. Other than Councilman Wishner making himself into a total horse’s ass there were no consequences.
Honest. You could look it up.
Fast forward to America’s Heartland. I understand that if you buy margarine there it comes in a plain brown wrapper. It’s Paula Deen’s idea of heaven.
State Senator Glenn Grothman [R-WI] found himself surrounded by some enthusiastic wanabee community organizers in front of the state capitol in Madison, WI. The irenic protestors shouted “Shame” and “You suck”.
Doubtless, “shame” is a value judgment and is clearly protected.
“You suck” may be political speech. Lord knows it is up close and personal. If it is said in support of ObamaCare it too is protected. I know that you find ObamaCare “disparaging” but “sucking” is the only fail proof, 100% guaranteed, 100% organic, no carbon footprint form of birth control. Plus, it is available without a prescription and without a co-pay. If there is a co-pay it would normally be, you know what I’m saying, illegal. Just this week the President of the United States and the Attorney General decided that while all laws were equal some laws were less legal than the others.
The President has ordered his lawyers to stop defending a valid law. The defense of Marriage Act was passed by Congress and signed by President Clinton. Until it is repealed or overturned it is the law of the land. “I am unable to lay my finger on that part of the Constitution” that enables the President to pick and choose which laws he will or not defend. If “chilling effect” and “slippery slope” had not lost their cachet because of excessive use it would be a perfect term.
Apparently Attorney General Holder must still be recovering from being the fall guy in the Clinton pardon scam. He decided not to uphold a law because it would “demean his people”.
I mention the above because the way laws are being interpreted by this cast of modern American Liberal ohmadahns the co-pay for a full Lewinsky may soon be legal. Just one more benefit of the still not totally read ObamaCare bill.
The Supreme Court ruled today by an 8 to 1 vote – That means that all the “good” Justices plus most of the “bad” Justices voted for it – that it’s OK to shout “faggot” and “queer” at the funeral of a GI killed in combat. Do you think the President should obey this ruling? Just thinking “faggot” and “queer” means that we will soon be “tearing ourselves apart at the seams”? Can there be anything worse than shouting it? Not if we adopt the rule set down so eloquently by Representative Gordon Hintz [D-WI] that you can say anything until someone is offended by it. It’s OK to say “You’re fucking dead” to other members of the legislature until another member feels offended. Then you give a half-assed modern American Liberal apology and say it again.
But back to those friggin’ brownshirted, hob nail booted, Nazi louts in Madison.
If Councilman Wishner can claim assault for a wagging finger those Fascist bastards – Wisconsin chapter - should be flogged.
Let the record show that Senator Grothman, a Republican, was rescued by Representative Hulsey, a Democrat.
Let the record further show that you preaching civility would be like Charlie Sheen preaching on effective parenting and life skills.
Kevin Smith
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
March 1, 2011
Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
10100 Pembroke Pines Blvd.
Pembroke Pines, FL 33206
RE: “bile and vitriol” – Are there any limits to civil discourse and rational discussion? But wait. There’s more: A look at a classic example of a guilt free apology. I guess there’s no sense in being a half-assed modern American Liberal.
My dear Congresswoman,
“You are fucking dead”
Since a duly elected state representative, Gordon Hintz [D-WI] said that to another duly elected state Representative, Michelle Litjens [R-WI] I assume it is OK to quote him.
After Congresswoman Gabriella Giffords was shot you saw fit to lecture the country on “bile and vitriol” and how they “have been tearing us apart at the seams”. The inference was that Congresswoman Giffords was shot by people loyal to Sarah Palin and dependent on Rush Limbaugh for their marching orders. Further, the climate of hate that is conducive to assassination both of character and of person was driven by the renascent “vast Right-Wing conspiracy” and its predilection towards rhetoric, containing both “bile and vitriol”, or so you said.
[Full disclosure requires me to tell you that I was a founding member of the above named conspiracy. No dues, no meetings, no lock step beliefs, but rather a knowledge and an appreciation of the “Permanent Things”, gifts not from any government, gifts that are ours at birth, “gifts from beyond the stars”. My only “assignment” was to picket the White House in the summer of 1999. Wearing my “vR-Wc” cap I held my granddaughter in one arm and used the other to shake my fist and yell “Come out you son of a bitch! We have the place surrounded!”]
It turned out that the shooter was neither ideologically dependent on Joe the Plumber nor was he on Darth Cheney’s secret hit squad. He had, as I mentioned in my letter of 1/16/11, “snakes for brains”.
Since your resume proudly proclaims that you have 2 degrees in Political Science, an accomplishment that would require more than a modicum of knowledge of things Greek – that’s where it all started, no? – you should understand my reason for dropping the promiscuous use of the word Rhetoric. Rhetoric is 1/3rd of the Trivium and, as such, a capstone in Western Civilization. I will use the term Sophistry in its place.
Speaking of Sophistry, Representative Hintz says “I apologized when I learned that my words may have been taken personally by someone”. He says that it is OK to say “You are fucking dead” as long as nobody takes it the wrong way. I’ll leave it to better etymologists than I am to parse that into acceptability. For example, would it be OK to say it in church? To a teacher? To a mailman? To the IRS? To the guy grabbing your scrotum at the airport? To a Judge? To a homeless beggar? To a DMV clerk?
The “no such thing as a bad boy” school of social conduct, the one that allows modern American Liberals to excuse anything that they do or say, encourages the belief that something is wrong only if someone else is offended by it. Once someone says that it is offensive an apology applicable only to that particular person applies.
Some things are wrong in their essence. Malum per se, if you will. Other things are wrong in their usage. Malum prohibitum.
If “You are fucking dead” is acceptable until someone says it is personally offensive I guess it is permissible to say, inter alia, “Ginny gangster, “WOG terrorist”, “Jew bastard”, “drunken Irishman”, “Quebecois merde”, “lazy dreaded ‘N’ word”, “tight assed Presbyterian”, “greasy Mexican” – This sounds like fun! I guess I shouldn’t leave out the Slopes, The Gomers, the Winkies, and the Dot Heads. I’ll give them a chance to be offended.
Logically, every time you meet a German it would be OK to call him a “Nazi bastard”, right? I could say it until somebody named Dieter objects. I apologize to him but wink, wink Klaus and Franz are “Nazi bastards”, right?
When Representative Hintz says he’s sorry for saying “You are fucking dead”, not because it was wrong per se but rather because Representative Litjens found it offensive, he was the poster boy, the paradigmatic template if you will, for a school of political thought, modern American Liberalism, that is morally and intellectually bankrupt. Because there are no standards there are no consequences for breaching the rules of conduct expected of a gentleman. I have but one thing to say about that:
THAT AIN’T FUCKING RIGHT!
Kevin Smith
Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
10100 Pembroke Pines Blvd.
Pembroke Pines, FL 33206
RE: “bile and vitriol” – Are there any limits to civil discourse and rational discussion? But wait. There’s more: A look at a classic example of a guilt free apology. I guess there’s no sense in being a half-assed modern American Liberal.
My dear Congresswoman,
“You are fucking dead”
Since a duly elected state representative, Gordon Hintz [D-WI] said that to another duly elected state Representative, Michelle Litjens [R-WI] I assume it is OK to quote him.
After Congresswoman Gabriella Giffords was shot you saw fit to lecture the country on “bile and vitriol” and how they “have been tearing us apart at the seams”. The inference was that Congresswoman Giffords was shot by people loyal to Sarah Palin and dependent on Rush Limbaugh for their marching orders. Further, the climate of hate that is conducive to assassination both of character and of person was driven by the renascent “vast Right-Wing conspiracy” and its predilection towards rhetoric, containing both “bile and vitriol”, or so you said.
[Full disclosure requires me to tell you that I was a founding member of the above named conspiracy. No dues, no meetings, no lock step beliefs, but rather a knowledge and an appreciation of the “Permanent Things”, gifts not from any government, gifts that are ours at birth, “gifts from beyond the stars”. My only “assignment” was to picket the White House in the summer of 1999. Wearing my “vR-Wc” cap I held my granddaughter in one arm and used the other to shake my fist and yell “Come out you son of a bitch! We have the place surrounded!”]
It turned out that the shooter was neither ideologically dependent on Joe the Plumber nor was he on Darth Cheney’s secret hit squad. He had, as I mentioned in my letter of 1/16/11, “snakes for brains”.
Since your resume proudly proclaims that you have 2 degrees in Political Science, an accomplishment that would require more than a modicum of knowledge of things Greek – that’s where it all started, no? – you should understand my reason for dropping the promiscuous use of the word Rhetoric. Rhetoric is 1/3rd of the Trivium and, as such, a capstone in Western Civilization. I will use the term Sophistry in its place.
Speaking of Sophistry, Representative Hintz says “I apologized when I learned that my words may have been taken personally by someone”. He says that it is OK to say “You are fucking dead” as long as nobody takes it the wrong way. I’ll leave it to better etymologists than I am to parse that into acceptability. For example, would it be OK to say it in church? To a teacher? To a mailman? To the IRS? To the guy grabbing your scrotum at the airport? To a Judge? To a homeless beggar? To a DMV clerk?
The “no such thing as a bad boy” school of social conduct, the one that allows modern American Liberals to excuse anything that they do or say, encourages the belief that something is wrong only if someone else is offended by it. Once someone says that it is offensive an apology applicable only to that particular person applies.
Some things are wrong in their essence. Malum per se, if you will. Other things are wrong in their usage. Malum prohibitum.
If “You are fucking dead” is acceptable until someone says it is personally offensive I guess it is permissible to say, inter alia, “Ginny gangster, “WOG terrorist”, “Jew bastard”, “drunken Irishman”, “Quebecois merde”, “lazy dreaded ‘N’ word”, “tight assed Presbyterian”, “greasy Mexican” – This sounds like fun! I guess I shouldn’t leave out the Slopes, The Gomers, the Winkies, and the Dot Heads. I’ll give them a chance to be offended.
Logically, every time you meet a German it would be OK to call him a “Nazi bastard”, right? I could say it until somebody named Dieter objects. I apologize to him but wink, wink Klaus and Franz are “Nazi bastards”, right?
When Representative Hintz says he’s sorry for saying “You are fucking dead”, not because it was wrong per se but rather because Representative Litjens found it offensive, he was the poster boy, the paradigmatic template if you will, for a school of political thought, modern American Liberalism, that is morally and intellectually bankrupt. Because there are no standards there are no consequences for breaching the rules of conduct expected of a gentleman. I have but one thing to say about that:
THAT AIN’T FUCKING RIGHT!
Kevin Smith
Margaret Carlson Bloomberg News
February 26, 2011
Margaret Carlson
Bloomberg News
1399 New York Avenue
Washington, DC
RE: “As far as I know…” More about Lord Barack’s background from your column of 2/23/11.
Ms. Carlson,
Me again.
It seems just like yesterday that you called GIs serving overseas “tax cheats”. I promise that I won’t mention it today.
You say
“…And on the canard that Obama is secretly a Muslim: ‘The president says he
is a Christian. I accept him at his word.’[taking the president “at his word” is
code to Tea Partiers. It means ‘He’s a Muslim but there’s nothing I can do about it.’]”
I have an eclectic memory
I remember Hillary Clinton, responding to a question in the spring of 2008, saying “He’s not a Muslim…as far as I know.” “He” was Candidate Senator Barack Hussein Obama [D-IL]
Was Candidate Clinton, an admitted champion of channeling backwards to Eleanor Roosevelt, channeling forwards to the unborn, undreamed of, Tea Party?
Would it be appropriate for you to say, “She’s a liar”?
If you won’t I will. What’s the sense of being a founding member of the “vast Right-Wing conspiracy” if you can’t spread the truth while enjoying yourself?
Further in your opinion piece you make reference to Congressman Boehner’s “drinking”. Is it up to the high standards set by Congressman Mendel Rivers [D-SC] or Congressman Wilbur Mills [D-AR]?
No mention of members of Congress and drinking can pass without mentioning the Kennedy family.
March 17, 1966. Charley O’s Saloon. 48th Street and Rockefeller Center. Robert Kennedy bought a round for the house. Then he tried to beat the tab. I was there.
Tosspot Ted and his son Mumbles both thought there was no such thing as a large whisky. Teddy [D-MA] was an amiable drunk, often given to fits of hilarity and genuinely funny exchanges. His son was a bit of a shit whose innate meanness was made worse by alcohol or whatever was the White Rabbit of choice that day.
How does the Speaker measure up to the standards set by those 4 stalwarts?
I kept my promise, didn’t I?
I never mentioned your libel – Can I say “blood libel” without the Word Police coming after me? – about American military personnel, domiciled in Florida, serving overseas, being “tax cheats”, did I?
Kevin Smith
Margaret Carlson
Bloomberg News
1399 New York Avenue
Washington, DC
RE: “As far as I know…” More about Lord Barack’s background from your column of 2/23/11.
Ms. Carlson,
Me again.
It seems just like yesterday that you called GIs serving overseas “tax cheats”. I promise that I won’t mention it today.
You say
“…And on the canard that Obama is secretly a Muslim: ‘The president says he
is a Christian. I accept him at his word.’[taking the president “at his word” is
code to Tea Partiers. It means ‘He’s a Muslim but there’s nothing I can do about it.’]”
I have an eclectic memory
I remember Hillary Clinton, responding to a question in the spring of 2008, saying “He’s not a Muslim…as far as I know.” “He” was Candidate Senator Barack Hussein Obama [D-IL]
Was Candidate Clinton, an admitted champion of channeling backwards to Eleanor Roosevelt, channeling forwards to the unborn, undreamed of, Tea Party?
Would it be appropriate for you to say, “She’s a liar”?
If you won’t I will. What’s the sense of being a founding member of the “vast Right-Wing conspiracy” if you can’t spread the truth while enjoying yourself?
Further in your opinion piece you make reference to Congressman Boehner’s “drinking”. Is it up to the high standards set by Congressman Mendel Rivers [D-SC] or Congressman Wilbur Mills [D-AR]?
No mention of members of Congress and drinking can pass without mentioning the Kennedy family.
March 17, 1966. Charley O’s Saloon. 48th Street and Rockefeller Center. Robert Kennedy bought a round for the house. Then he tried to beat the tab. I was there.
Tosspot Ted and his son Mumbles both thought there was no such thing as a large whisky. Teddy [D-MA] was an amiable drunk, often given to fits of hilarity and genuinely funny exchanges. His son was a bit of a shit whose innate meanness was made worse by alcohol or whatever was the White Rabbit of choice that day.
How does the Speaker measure up to the standards set by those 4 stalwarts?
I kept my promise, didn’t I?
I never mentioned your libel – Can I say “blood libel” without the Word Police coming after me? – about American military personnel, domiciled in Florida, serving overseas, being “tax cheats”, did I?
Kevin Smith
Thank God we have a Constitutional scholar in the White House.
Not only the White House but in the Oval Office. He’s the President.
4 Americans were sailing on an American flagged vessel in international waters. They were captured by Somali pirates. The 4 of them were executed. It is not known but it can be reasonably suspected that they were tortured or sexually abused.
The Constitution could not be clearer. Many times advocates have to go looking for rights that were not written down – enumerated - by the Founders. The right to privacy is assumed to be there without it being specifically mentioned. Some have to look for “penumbras” and “emanations” to buttress their arguments. Not this time.
Article 1, Section 8, #1 says, in its entirety
The Congress shall have the power
To declare war, grant letters of marque and reprisal,
And make rules concerning captures on land and water.
In 1805 an American Naval Officer asked a frightened woman if she wanted the protection of the American flag. Saying yes she was embraced in its folds.
A century later Mrs. Perdicaris was kidnapped by Muslim fanatics led by Raizuli, the chief pirate. President Roosevelt said, “Mrs. Perdicaris alive or Raizuli dead”.
Nolo me tangere cum impecunis
“…So it was learned among the heathen hosts
How much a freeborn woman’s favour costs.”
Grover Cleveland, a Democratic President who vetoed a bill
because it violated the contract clause of the Constitution, when told
that there had been casualties when enforcing a court order, said,
“Are you sure you killed enough of them?”
Thank God we have a Constitutional scholar in the Oval Office.
Kevin Smith
2/22/11
Not only the White House but in the Oval Office. He’s the President.
4 Americans were sailing on an American flagged vessel in international waters. They were captured by Somali pirates. The 4 of them were executed. It is not known but it can be reasonably suspected that they were tortured or sexually abused.
The Constitution could not be clearer. Many times advocates have to go looking for rights that were not written down – enumerated - by the Founders. The right to privacy is assumed to be there without it being specifically mentioned. Some have to look for “penumbras” and “emanations” to buttress their arguments. Not this time.
Article 1, Section 8, #1 says, in its entirety
The Congress shall have the power
To declare war, grant letters of marque and reprisal,
And make rules concerning captures on land and water.
In 1805 an American Naval Officer asked a frightened woman if she wanted the protection of the American flag. Saying yes she was embraced in its folds.
A century later Mrs. Perdicaris was kidnapped by Muslim fanatics led by Raizuli, the chief pirate. President Roosevelt said, “Mrs. Perdicaris alive or Raizuli dead”.
Nolo me tangere cum impecunis
“…So it was learned among the heathen hosts
How much a freeborn woman’s favour costs.”
Grover Cleveland, a Democratic President who vetoed a bill
because it violated the contract clause of the Constitution, when told
that there had been casualties when enforcing a court order, said,
“Are you sure you killed enough of them?”
Thank God we have a Constitutional scholar in the Oval Office.
Kevin Smith
2/22/11
Monday, February 28, 2011
Dana Milbank The Washington Post
February 24, 2011
Dana Milbank
The Washington Post
1150 15th St NW
Washington, DC 20071
RE: Backsides, keisters, Mrs. Obama, the return from an undisclosed secret location of the sorely missed “vast Right-Wing conspiracy”, and the politics of which that are artfully explained by you in an opinion piece in today’s Miami Herald.
Mr. Millbank,
Since you feel free to use Rush Limbaugh as an example of how not to make a living as a sculptor’s live model – I would have chosen the still dead Senator, Lard Kennedy [D-MA]. If he were to be dug up today he would still have more chins than a Chinese phone book. Do ad hominem arguments apply if the whackee is dead? – I feel compelled to point out that Mrs. Obama will have a post White House career as a Spandex spokeswoman. She could team up with Duct tape and industrial strength KY Jelly in a “6 Weeks to Size 16 bowling shorts” – “You can do it! I almost did!” TV campaign. But wait. There’s more. “If your shadow weighs more than a 12 volt battery, if you have to use a wheel barrow to answer nature’s call, if you fight Bowser for the last biscuit, call now for my 600 calorie baby back rib enema”. S&H extra.
I must tell you, as an aging, calorically challenged curmudgeon, that the only things that have 600 calories in any bar-b-q place I’ve ever been to are the empty ice tea glasses and the used napkins. Scratch that. If you smell a used napkin in a Texas joint it’s worth 600 calories. Being on the windward side of any decent joint sends the good and the bad cholesterol into a Texas Death Match worthy of HBO.
Lo-fat bar-b-q is like lo-fat crème brulee or lo-fat chocolate profiteroles. It is to be rejected out of hand. I’ve seen saloon fights over less. Is Pommery’s coming out with a diet magnum? Lo-cal Talbot? Sodium free Opus One? I am surrounded by morons.
[As an aside, and I add that it is truly a serendipitous stop on my quest to “know” things, you mention “organic Tuscan kale”. Thank God you didn’t mention the Southern version. We both know that’s how Mussolini made his bones. My question is simple. Where can I get some “inorganic Tuscan kale”? I’ll settle for “inorganic Florida kale”. If possible I would like the long strand polymer kind. Please don’t send me to Martha Steward’s website. I can’t associate with ex-cons.]
You say “the food criticism is an extension of politics”.
Since her husband is an internationally acclaimed Constitutional scholar, except for Article 1, Section 8, Part 11, perhaps he can point out which of the Federalist Papers, assuming he’s heard of them, mentions food advice.
I don’t know if Mrs. Obama ice skates. If she does and should she fall it would register as a miniature Haiti on the closest Richter scale. There’s a rumor that the glacier that calved in New Zealand was a result of Mrs. Obama going ass over tea kettle either as she was stepping out of the shower in Vail or wrestling Secret Service agents for the last whole brisket from room service. As I say, a rumor. The world knows more about what’s going on in Libya than it does about her vacation.
Speaking of Mrs. Obama and the Chicago Way Rahm Emanuel, her husband’s DC consiligiere, was just elected as the Mayor of Chicago. I remember the iron discipline the press corps showed when Rahm’s replacement, William Daley, of the Cook County Daleys, got off the plane in Florida just after the 2000 election, and said, “The recount starts now”. The iron discipline I refer to was an automatic shutting of sphincters that prevented terminal enuresis in the fawning press corps.
Was there ever a better description of “brass balls” than that? Perhaps Handsome Billy from Hot Springs coming back from church with bible in hand getting a hummer from Monica while his wife and daughter were upstairs waiting for him to come for lunch but at least that was inside. It is not known if he held on the bible.
There’s no sense in not celebrating the good old days, is there? Nobody’s getting any younger, right? Jeezus Haitch Keerist but I miss them.
You say that “the food criticism is an extension of politics”.
To Hell with all that nonsense about birth certificate or his buddy Qadafi.
How did Mrs. Obama wind up with an ass that’s an ax handle and a half wide?
She did it the old fashioned way.
She earned it.
Pass the gravy.
Kevin Smith
Dana Milbank
The Washington Post
1150 15th St NW
Washington, DC 20071
RE: Backsides, keisters, Mrs. Obama, the return from an undisclosed secret location of the sorely missed “vast Right-Wing conspiracy”, and the politics of which that are artfully explained by you in an opinion piece in today’s Miami Herald.
Mr. Millbank,
Since you feel free to use Rush Limbaugh as an example of how not to make a living as a sculptor’s live model – I would have chosen the still dead Senator, Lard Kennedy [D-MA]. If he were to be dug up today he would still have more chins than a Chinese phone book. Do ad hominem arguments apply if the whackee is dead? – I feel compelled to point out that Mrs. Obama will have a post White House career as a Spandex spokeswoman. She could team up with Duct tape and industrial strength KY Jelly in a “6 Weeks to Size 16 bowling shorts” – “You can do it! I almost did!” TV campaign. But wait. There’s more. “If your shadow weighs more than a 12 volt battery, if you have to use a wheel barrow to answer nature’s call, if you fight Bowser for the last biscuit, call now for my 600 calorie baby back rib enema”. S&H extra.
I must tell you, as an aging, calorically challenged curmudgeon, that the only things that have 600 calories in any bar-b-q place I’ve ever been to are the empty ice tea glasses and the used napkins. Scratch that. If you smell a used napkin in a Texas joint it’s worth 600 calories. Being on the windward side of any decent joint sends the good and the bad cholesterol into a Texas Death Match worthy of HBO.
Lo-fat bar-b-q is like lo-fat crème brulee or lo-fat chocolate profiteroles. It is to be rejected out of hand. I’ve seen saloon fights over less. Is Pommery’s coming out with a diet magnum? Lo-cal Talbot? Sodium free Opus One? I am surrounded by morons.
[As an aside, and I add that it is truly a serendipitous stop on my quest to “know” things, you mention “organic Tuscan kale”. Thank God you didn’t mention the Southern version. We both know that’s how Mussolini made his bones. My question is simple. Where can I get some “inorganic Tuscan kale”? I’ll settle for “inorganic Florida kale”. If possible I would like the long strand polymer kind. Please don’t send me to Martha Steward’s website. I can’t associate with ex-cons.]
You say “the food criticism is an extension of politics”.
Since her husband is an internationally acclaimed Constitutional scholar, except for Article 1, Section 8, Part 11, perhaps he can point out which of the Federalist Papers, assuming he’s heard of them, mentions food advice.
I don’t know if Mrs. Obama ice skates. If she does and should she fall it would register as a miniature Haiti on the closest Richter scale. There’s a rumor that the glacier that calved in New Zealand was a result of Mrs. Obama going ass over tea kettle either as she was stepping out of the shower in Vail or wrestling Secret Service agents for the last whole brisket from room service. As I say, a rumor. The world knows more about what’s going on in Libya than it does about her vacation.
Speaking of Mrs. Obama and the Chicago Way Rahm Emanuel, her husband’s DC consiligiere, was just elected as the Mayor of Chicago. I remember the iron discipline the press corps showed when Rahm’s replacement, William Daley, of the Cook County Daleys, got off the plane in Florida just after the 2000 election, and said, “The recount starts now”. The iron discipline I refer to was an automatic shutting of sphincters that prevented terminal enuresis in the fawning press corps.
Was there ever a better description of “brass balls” than that? Perhaps Handsome Billy from Hot Springs coming back from church with bible in hand getting a hummer from Monica while his wife and daughter were upstairs waiting for him to come for lunch but at least that was inside. It is not known if he held on the bible.
There’s no sense in not celebrating the good old days, is there? Nobody’s getting any younger, right? Jeezus Haitch Keerist but I miss them.
You say that “the food criticism is an extension of politics”.
To Hell with all that nonsense about birth certificate or his buddy Qadafi.
How did Mrs. Obama wind up with an ass that’s an ax handle and a half wide?
She did it the old fashioned way.
She earned it.
Pass the gravy.
Kevin Smith
Steven L. Goldstein The Sun-Sentinel
February 25, 2011
Steven L. Goldstein
The Sun-Sentinel
200 E. Las Olas Blvd
Ft. Lauderdale, FL. 33301
RE: “Walking the Walk” – Your bi-monthly plea to make water run up hill. This time by taking a train as reported in today’s Sun-Sentinel
My dear Professor,
“I Get No Kick from Cocaine” was what Cole Porter told us more than 70 years ago. 70 years ago puts us in what is now known nostalgically as the “happy time” for modern American Liberals. F.D.R., the Blue Eagle, the WPA, Alger Hiss, the Wagner Act, the Dust Bowl [some newly revealed evidence of which suggests that the Cheney family had a hand in causing] the NRA [the good one], Court Packing, “Waiting for Lefty”, the Davis-Bacon Act, the Hitler/Stalin Pact, Eleanor getting ready to channel Hillary, the PWA, and drinking, legally. Come to think of it, drinking was the only way to get through the beginning of central planning in America. “Washington knows best” needs a goodly amount of whisky to beat the gag reflex.
Alas, the scoreboard, the one kept by the Gods of the Copybook Ledgers, tells us something quite different.
With March 4, 1933 as the fixed starting point absolutely every indicator, including some that were applied retroactively, things were worse in 1934, in 1935, in 1936, in 1937, and much worse in 1938.
In hindsight, when Boeing went to 3 shifts at their plant in Wichita, Kansas building the B-17, things began to perk up a bit.
It is still owed to the ledger to say that if Roosevelt had taken the advice of Pere Kennedy, the anti-Semitic, pro Nazi Ambassador, Prinz Wilhelm would be marrying Fraulein Fritzette in April.
I mention all the above because today’s modern American Liberals, “true believers” all, are like the Bourbons of old. They have forgotten everything; they have learned nothing.
You talk about “creating jobs” as if there were a secular deity just beyond the unreachable horizon who will, if summoned correctly, re-distribute jobs like “gentle rain form the heaven”. If we are extremely respectful he will favor the single mom, a woman of color who was hornswoggled out of any future by a poisonous educational system, with the skills necessary to compete in your whiz bang, hi-tech economy. Said economy, by your flexible standards, needs to be wakened by a train running from Tampa to Orlando and, hopefully, back again.
Here’s a dirty little secret that mush brained modern American Liberals – I just repeated myself, didn’t I? - don’t get.
Read carefully. Take your time. I’ll write slowly.
#1 – Nobody poorer than you is ever, ever going to hire you. He may need some of your skills to rob a 7-11. He may want you to picket WAL*MART. He may teach you the words to “Don’t Stop Thinking about Tomorrow” as soon as he learns them. But a job? No. Never.
#2 – Rich people may hire poor people for 2 reasons.
A – They want to stay rich.
Or
B – They want to get richer.
Anything that makes #2 easier is good public policy.
Anything that makes #1 easier is criminal.
Poor people go to work for 2 reasons.
A- They don’t want to stay poor
And
B – They want to get rich.
Everything else is flap-doodle humbug balderdash. “Shovel ready” jobs? The “summer of recovery”? Better the “slough of despond” or the “winter of our discontent”. I know you believe that all things are possible if enough men of good will believe that they can make it happen. That’s why you are in favor of abortion. If you were a woman you’d have killed more rabbits than Brer Fox.
There are two other points.
You say
“Surely the governor realizes that the
Age of the Automobile is over…”
If it is perhaps you could tell me why we first kneecapped General Motors and Chrysler before disemboweling them. Why did we destroy the sanctity of contracts entered into by free men? Don’t you think it passing strange that Toyota has been carpet bombed by this administration? What better way to help the new GM and Chrysler than by taking out the main competition? If you believe that it was a coincidence check your medicine cabinet to see if you have any “morning after” pills.
The other point gave my great joy.
You say
“We’re balkanized”
I say
“While the light is left to burn the vilest sinner may yet return”
Your initial solution, to build a railroad form Tampa to Orlando, while your example is Key West to Pensacola, is one replete with typical modern American Liberal sophistry. Incidentally, my odometer from “Mile Marker 1” to “Welcome to Alabama –Arkansas is Worse”, reads 900 miles.
How about a high speed rail system from Ft. Lauderdale to Naples? Why don’t we ban cars on Alligator Alley? In addition to saving countless polar bears we could kill all those pesky Caribbean medflys. Is that a win/win or what?
Yugoslovakia was “balkanized”. So was Yugoslovenia. So were all the Yugos. There were at least 5 languages with as many dialects of each in the places. That’s why it was bound to fail as a country. There is a cheaper, quicker solution that covering Florida with grade crossings. Make English the official language. That is to say, all contracts, all court records, all leases, and all ballots are to be English only. No exceptions. None.
I have taken the liberty to include your name as Co-Chair of Make English #1. I have you as the head of the ink stained wretch division of the print media. I need your middle name to file my 501 C3 papers.
Hoping to hear from you soon.
Kevin Smith
Steven L. Goldstein
The Sun-Sentinel
200 E. Las Olas Blvd
Ft. Lauderdale, FL. 33301
RE: “Walking the Walk” – Your bi-monthly plea to make water run up hill. This time by taking a train as reported in today’s Sun-Sentinel
My dear Professor,
“I Get No Kick from Cocaine” was what Cole Porter told us more than 70 years ago. 70 years ago puts us in what is now known nostalgically as the “happy time” for modern American Liberals. F.D.R., the Blue Eagle, the WPA, Alger Hiss, the Wagner Act, the Dust Bowl [some newly revealed evidence of which suggests that the Cheney family had a hand in causing] the NRA [the good one], Court Packing, “Waiting for Lefty”, the Davis-Bacon Act, the Hitler/Stalin Pact, Eleanor getting ready to channel Hillary, the PWA, and drinking, legally. Come to think of it, drinking was the only way to get through the beginning of central planning in America. “Washington knows best” needs a goodly amount of whisky to beat the gag reflex.
Alas, the scoreboard, the one kept by the Gods of the Copybook Ledgers, tells us something quite different.
With March 4, 1933 as the fixed starting point absolutely every indicator, including some that were applied retroactively, things were worse in 1934, in 1935, in 1936, in 1937, and much worse in 1938.
In hindsight, when Boeing went to 3 shifts at their plant in Wichita, Kansas building the B-17, things began to perk up a bit.
It is still owed to the ledger to say that if Roosevelt had taken the advice of Pere Kennedy, the anti-Semitic, pro Nazi Ambassador, Prinz Wilhelm would be marrying Fraulein Fritzette in April.
I mention all the above because today’s modern American Liberals, “true believers” all, are like the Bourbons of old. They have forgotten everything; they have learned nothing.
You talk about “creating jobs” as if there were a secular deity just beyond the unreachable horizon who will, if summoned correctly, re-distribute jobs like “gentle rain form the heaven”. If we are extremely respectful he will favor the single mom, a woman of color who was hornswoggled out of any future by a poisonous educational system, with the skills necessary to compete in your whiz bang, hi-tech economy. Said economy, by your flexible standards, needs to be wakened by a train running from Tampa to Orlando and, hopefully, back again.
Here’s a dirty little secret that mush brained modern American Liberals – I just repeated myself, didn’t I? - don’t get.
Read carefully. Take your time. I’ll write slowly.
#1 – Nobody poorer than you is ever, ever going to hire you. He may need some of your skills to rob a 7-11. He may want you to picket WAL*MART. He may teach you the words to “Don’t Stop Thinking about Tomorrow” as soon as he learns them. But a job? No. Never.
#2 – Rich people may hire poor people for 2 reasons.
A – They want to stay rich.
Or
B – They want to get richer.
Anything that makes #2 easier is good public policy.
Anything that makes #1 easier is criminal.
Poor people go to work for 2 reasons.
A- They don’t want to stay poor
And
B – They want to get rich.
Everything else is flap-doodle humbug balderdash. “Shovel ready” jobs? The “summer of recovery”? Better the “slough of despond” or the “winter of our discontent”. I know you believe that all things are possible if enough men of good will believe that they can make it happen. That’s why you are in favor of abortion. If you were a woman you’d have killed more rabbits than Brer Fox.
There are two other points.
You say
“Surely the governor realizes that the
Age of the Automobile is over…”
If it is perhaps you could tell me why we first kneecapped General Motors and Chrysler before disemboweling them. Why did we destroy the sanctity of contracts entered into by free men? Don’t you think it passing strange that Toyota has been carpet bombed by this administration? What better way to help the new GM and Chrysler than by taking out the main competition? If you believe that it was a coincidence check your medicine cabinet to see if you have any “morning after” pills.
The other point gave my great joy.
You say
“We’re balkanized”
I say
“While the light is left to burn the vilest sinner may yet return”
Your initial solution, to build a railroad form Tampa to Orlando, while your example is Key West to Pensacola, is one replete with typical modern American Liberal sophistry. Incidentally, my odometer from “Mile Marker 1” to “Welcome to Alabama –Arkansas is Worse”, reads 900 miles.
How about a high speed rail system from Ft. Lauderdale to Naples? Why don’t we ban cars on Alligator Alley? In addition to saving countless polar bears we could kill all those pesky Caribbean medflys. Is that a win/win or what?
Yugoslovakia was “balkanized”. So was Yugoslovenia. So were all the Yugos. There were at least 5 languages with as many dialects of each in the places. That’s why it was bound to fail as a country. There is a cheaper, quicker solution that covering Florida with grade crossings. Make English the official language. That is to say, all contracts, all court records, all leases, and all ballots are to be English only. No exceptions. None.
I have taken the liberty to include your name as Co-Chair of Make English #1. I have you as the head of the ink stained wretch division of the print media. I need your middle name to file my 501 C3 papers.
Hoping to hear from you soon.
Kevin Smith
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Judge Ginger Lerner-Wren Broward Mental Health Court
September 1, 2001
Judge Ginger Lerner-Wren
Broward Mental Health Court
600 South Andrews Street
Ft. Lauderdale, Florida 33301
RE: Disabled man story in today’s Herald
Judge Lerner-Wren:
“Man slept
in yard for
five years”
Irate judge orders
state to provide aid
The Herald
Page one
Today
I read the above mentioned story in absolute awe. Synapses were shutting down with each sentence.
Darren Cooper slept outside his mother’s house for five years? Give him credit
for picking Ft. Lauderdale, Florida rather than Winona, Minnesota. If you are homeless and “mentally challenged” it’s better to spend Valentine’s Day here rather than there. It calls to mind the judge in Paris who said, “The rich and the poor have an equal right to sleep under the bridges over the Seine. The rich in the summer; the poor in the winter”.
I missed the announcement of the creation of the “Mental Health Court”. Is there a sub-section for neuroses? Psychoses? Do obsessions get the court’s attention? Are the court personnel on Prozac? How about you? Are you OK? Do you have some “white rabbits” to get you through motion day?
May I ask what role his mother played in all this? Is she negligent? Is she unfit?
I assume that Mr. Cooper was born thus. I don’t think second hand smoke or a high student/teacher ratio caused that wily chromosome to jump the double helix track. Is this woman also a victim of the things that modern American Liberalism strives so mightily to defeat? Mom lets her son howl at the moon for five years and you bellow at some poor weenie bureaucrat because the agency didn’t have a small suite with room service plus an increase in your self esteem and your net worth program available around the clock for Mr. Cooper? God’s Holy Trousers but the inmates are running the asylum!
May I offer a possible solution to what will be a continuing problem. Since you alone feel that you have the vision, the calling, everyone entering your court will do so at his peril. I have no doubt that by New Year’s Day you will be ordering the floggings of any social worker who dares look cross eyed at you.
Accept on faith when I tell you that there is not enough money anywhere to meet all the needs of society. Spare me the claptrap about how one less B-1 bomber will have all the less fortunate farting through silk. Each afflicted group will have articulate advocates demanding that their particular “need” will go to the head of the line. They will seek out friendly judicial ears to plead their cause. Since Judges seem to think that they can make leaves stay on trees by simply ordering them to do so you will be tugged at and pulled at constantly. It will become like the horizon. Try as you will you will never quite get there. There will always be one more cup, empty and upturned, whose bearer will say to you with plaintive eyes, “More”.
Each group will say one thing similar. “Don’t take from one group to make mine whole - unless there is no other choice. Give more to all the groups.” These groups, whose livelihoods depend on some form of human affliction, will seek out black robed boobs - such as you - for some surcease from the travails of an uncaring society. The problem of more dogs than bones and the problems when the dinner bell is rung has been with us a long time. Nothing you can say or do is going to cure that. I suppose we could try the hugely successful Cuban or Romanian models for dealing with that problem but that’s a different story.
One solution would have been for you to have brought Darren Cooper home. I think the picture on page one is probably more out of focus than he is but he seems rather docile. Having lived in his mother’s back yard for 5 years he should be familiar with the local flora and fauna. Perhaps some light yard work might lessen the burden of you taking care of him. Some environmentally sensitive weed whacking and pest control could prove to be a Godsend. Of course, if something goes askance then we can have those hapless bureaucrats whom you delight in seeing how tight you make them make their sphincters have a shot at you. That will keep you on your toes and show your support for the separation of powers.
At least fickle Fortuna landed victim Cooper in Florida. Had he been in Arkansas when Hillary’s husband was running for President he could have wound up like Ricky Ray Rector. You remember him, don’t you? Despite having an IQ just barely above a bucket of clams Big Bill had him wired up to Ole Sparky whereupon Hillary gave him a lap dance to keep him quiescent to prove that he was tough on crime. That’s one guy whose pain he didn’t feel.
“How small, of all that human hearts endure,
That part which laws or kings can cause or cure.”
Keep up the good work. It should be a snap for you. You’re gaining on it, sweetie.
KEVIN SMITH
Judge Ginger Lerner-Wren
Broward Mental Health Court
600 South Andrews Street
Ft. Lauderdale, Florida 33301
RE: Disabled man story in today’s Herald
Judge Lerner-Wren:
“Man slept
in yard for
five years”
Irate judge orders
state to provide aid
The Herald
Page one
Today
I read the above mentioned story in absolute awe. Synapses were shutting down with each sentence.
Darren Cooper slept outside his mother’s house for five years? Give him credit
for picking Ft. Lauderdale, Florida rather than Winona, Minnesota. If you are homeless and “mentally challenged” it’s better to spend Valentine’s Day here rather than there. It calls to mind the judge in Paris who said, “The rich and the poor have an equal right to sleep under the bridges over the Seine. The rich in the summer; the poor in the winter”.
I missed the announcement of the creation of the “Mental Health Court”. Is there a sub-section for neuroses? Psychoses? Do obsessions get the court’s attention? Are the court personnel on Prozac? How about you? Are you OK? Do you have some “white rabbits” to get you through motion day?
May I ask what role his mother played in all this? Is she negligent? Is she unfit?
I assume that Mr. Cooper was born thus. I don’t think second hand smoke or a high student/teacher ratio caused that wily chromosome to jump the double helix track. Is this woman also a victim of the things that modern American Liberalism strives so mightily to defeat? Mom lets her son howl at the moon for five years and you bellow at some poor weenie bureaucrat because the agency didn’t have a small suite with room service plus an increase in your self esteem and your net worth program available around the clock for Mr. Cooper? God’s Holy Trousers but the inmates are running the asylum!
May I offer a possible solution to what will be a continuing problem. Since you alone feel that you have the vision, the calling, everyone entering your court will do so at his peril. I have no doubt that by New Year’s Day you will be ordering the floggings of any social worker who dares look cross eyed at you.
Accept on faith when I tell you that there is not enough money anywhere to meet all the needs of society. Spare me the claptrap about how one less B-1 bomber will have all the less fortunate farting through silk. Each afflicted group will have articulate advocates demanding that their particular “need” will go to the head of the line. They will seek out friendly judicial ears to plead their cause. Since Judges seem to think that they can make leaves stay on trees by simply ordering them to do so you will be tugged at and pulled at constantly. It will become like the horizon. Try as you will you will never quite get there. There will always be one more cup, empty and upturned, whose bearer will say to you with plaintive eyes, “More”.
Each group will say one thing similar. “Don’t take from one group to make mine whole - unless there is no other choice. Give more to all the groups.” These groups, whose livelihoods depend on some form of human affliction, will seek out black robed boobs - such as you - for some surcease from the travails of an uncaring society. The problem of more dogs than bones and the problems when the dinner bell is rung has been with us a long time. Nothing you can say or do is going to cure that. I suppose we could try the hugely successful Cuban or Romanian models for dealing with that problem but that’s a different story.
One solution would have been for you to have brought Darren Cooper home. I think the picture on page one is probably more out of focus than he is but he seems rather docile. Having lived in his mother’s back yard for 5 years he should be familiar with the local flora and fauna. Perhaps some light yard work might lessen the burden of you taking care of him. Some environmentally sensitive weed whacking and pest control could prove to be a Godsend. Of course, if something goes askance then we can have those hapless bureaucrats whom you delight in seeing how tight you make them make their sphincters have a shot at you. That will keep you on your toes and show your support for the separation of powers.
At least fickle Fortuna landed victim Cooper in Florida. Had he been in Arkansas when Hillary’s husband was running for President he could have wound up like Ricky Ray Rector. You remember him, don’t you? Despite having an IQ just barely above a bucket of clams Big Bill had him wired up to Ole Sparky whereupon Hillary gave him a lap dance to keep him quiescent to prove that he was tough on crime. That’s one guy whose pain he didn’t feel.
“How small, of all that human hearts endure,
That part which laws or kings can cause or cure.”
Keep up the good work. It should be a snap for you. You’re gaining on it, sweetie.
KEVIN SMITH
Douglas C. Lyons – Senior Editorial Writer The Sun-Sentinel
February 12, 2011
Douglas C. Lyons – Senior Editorial Writer
The Sun-Sentinel
200 E. Las Olas Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: Why are you chastising Governor Scott for trying to keep his campaign promises? Some comments on your column in today’s Sun-Sentinel
Mr. Lyons,
I remember when Senator Obama met the American Everyman, Joe the Plumber. He told Joe that his basic economic plan was to “spread the wealth around”. Giving the Devil his due that appears to be what he is trying to do. The only caveat here is that if all his “balloon juice” schemes are done there may not be any wealth left to spread around. As sure as “stones are hard and water is wet” you can’t make poor people rich by making rich people poor. Of course, as the great Dr. Johnson says, “Any public policy that involves robbing Peter to pay Paul will always have Paul’s support”
Speaking of campaign promises, I remember Candidate Obama saying that his election would calm the savage seas. Page 15A of your paper says that despite his siren call the oceans are not dancing to his tune. Pity. After making the tides behave I wanted him to get to work on gravity. Still, one out of two is pretty good unless you’re an airplane pilot.
I recall with warm and fuzzy feelings when Lord Barack the Beneficent told some Congressmen who dared to question his policies that there was an election and, further, that he “won”.
This was before he threatened to find some poor schlub from BP and “kick his ass”. It was after he told his more zealous fans “never bring a knife to a gun fight”. I really shouldn’t pick on him. He’s probably very tired what with his never ending quest to find those missing 7, or was it 8, states. Doubtless, one of them has that elusive dictionary, the Austrian/English one.
The people of Florida went to the polls last November and elected Rick Scott Governor.
He made promises before he was elected. He appears to be trying to keep them.
Education, for instance.
Every year I hear how bad the schools are. I never hear how bad the teachers are. I never hear how bad the administrators are. How the schools can be “bad” without the teachers and the administrators escaping collateral damage is one of those questions that assumes the laws governing gravity are only enforceable during leap years.
Every year I hear that the answer is more money. Every year they get more money. Every year they get worse.
Does anyone else see a pattern developing here?
If it ain’t broken don’t fix it. If it’s broken, and by every objective standard it is, try to fix it.
Every 2 years the voters get to correct their mistakes. Last November the voters of America began to correct the humongous, ginormous mistake made in 2008.
If the voters of Florida begin to elect more Democrats to the state legislature, if the voters of Florida turn Governor Scott out of office, perhaps the modern American Liberal karma of “Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow” will be restored. Until that happens your role as a “concerned columnist” will be that of a carping caterwauler.
Sincerely,
Kevin Smith – A “concerned citizen”
Douglas C. Lyons – Senior Editorial Writer
The Sun-Sentinel
200 E. Las Olas Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: Why are you chastising Governor Scott for trying to keep his campaign promises? Some comments on your column in today’s Sun-Sentinel
Mr. Lyons,
I remember when Senator Obama met the American Everyman, Joe the Plumber. He told Joe that his basic economic plan was to “spread the wealth around”. Giving the Devil his due that appears to be what he is trying to do. The only caveat here is that if all his “balloon juice” schemes are done there may not be any wealth left to spread around. As sure as “stones are hard and water is wet” you can’t make poor people rich by making rich people poor. Of course, as the great Dr. Johnson says, “Any public policy that involves robbing Peter to pay Paul will always have Paul’s support”
Speaking of campaign promises, I remember Candidate Obama saying that his election would calm the savage seas. Page 15A of your paper says that despite his siren call the oceans are not dancing to his tune. Pity. After making the tides behave I wanted him to get to work on gravity. Still, one out of two is pretty good unless you’re an airplane pilot.
I recall with warm and fuzzy feelings when Lord Barack the Beneficent told some Congressmen who dared to question his policies that there was an election and, further, that he “won”.
This was before he threatened to find some poor schlub from BP and “kick his ass”. It was after he told his more zealous fans “never bring a knife to a gun fight”. I really shouldn’t pick on him. He’s probably very tired what with his never ending quest to find those missing 7, or was it 8, states. Doubtless, one of them has that elusive dictionary, the Austrian/English one.
The people of Florida went to the polls last November and elected Rick Scott Governor.
He made promises before he was elected. He appears to be trying to keep them.
Education, for instance.
Every year I hear how bad the schools are. I never hear how bad the teachers are. I never hear how bad the administrators are. How the schools can be “bad” without the teachers and the administrators escaping collateral damage is one of those questions that assumes the laws governing gravity are only enforceable during leap years.
Every year I hear that the answer is more money. Every year they get more money. Every year they get worse.
Does anyone else see a pattern developing here?
If it ain’t broken don’t fix it. If it’s broken, and by every objective standard it is, try to fix it.
Every 2 years the voters get to correct their mistakes. Last November the voters of America began to correct the humongous, ginormous mistake made in 2008.
If the voters of Florida begin to elect more Democrats to the state legislature, if the voters of Florida turn Governor Scott out of office, perhaps the modern American Liberal karma of “Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow” will be restored. Until that happens your role as a “concerned columnist” will be that of a carping caterwauler.
Sincerely,
Kevin Smith – A “concerned citizen”
Andres Oppenheimer The Miami Herald
February 13, 2011
Andres Oppenheimer
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 33132-1693
RE: “Aid Cuts Could Be Diplomatic Suicide” – Some comments on why xenophobia is making a much needed come back thanks to your article in today’s Miami Herald.
Snr. Oppenheimer,
You say
“My opinion: While the United States is the world’s
largest donor in dollar terms, it is already one of the
stingiest of the world’s richest countries in terms of
the size of its economy: it gives out only 0.2 per cent
of its gross domestic product in foreign assistance
compared with one percent for Sweden.”
The Miami Herald
Page 7A
Today
You
Lies. Damn lies. Statistics.
I am reminded of the restaurant in Paris with a sign advertising rabbit/horse stew. The waiter said it was 50/50. One horse and one rabbit.
If the United States were to increase its aid to the same percentage that the altruistic Swedes give how much would that be in absolute dollar terms?
If the Swedes were to double their amount, that is to say 1% to 2%, how many kroners would that be?
Could it not be argued that if my right foot is in a bucket of ice and my left foot is in a blazing fire place I would, on balance, be comfortable?
Constructing universals from particulars is akin to fingernails on the blackboard for anyone familiar with Logic and Rhetoric. Since it is empirically self evident that you have no knowledge of either I can continue apace.
You quote Congressman Eliot Engel [D-NY], as prototypical a modern American Liberal who ever preached the virtues and blessings of “Rainbow Stew” in Congress, as saying that cutting foreign aid is “penny wise and pound foolish”.
History, that cruel mistress of the inconvenient truth that facts are hard things, suggests otherwise.
How much money, weigh it or count it, has this country put down the rat hole that is Africa in the last 50 years?
10 Presidents from both parties and what do we have to show for it?
Zimbabwe? How about the at least 5 countries that have slavery? How about the charnel house that the Tutsis and the Hutus killed each other in? They did it such numbers that the UN had to fly in foreign crocodiles, the domestic ones having, for once, been sated. How many “success” stories are there in Africa? Why is it my fault? How can more of my money make poor Africans rich?
I search in vain for a Madison, a Franklin, or a Jefferson. I look for the fine hand of an Edmund Burke or the restraining hand of a George Mason. Instead, I find Idi Amin, Emperor Bokassa, Omar Bongo, Samuel Doe, inter alia. Special note should be made of Robert Mugabe. He turned a breadbasket of Southern Africa into the dark side of the moon in less than 10 years. Now you want me to give him more money?
The inmates are running the asylum. The boobies are now in charge of the hatch.
As an alumnus of the Peace Corps, as one actively involved in the original Alliance for Progress, I ask what has changed in Latin America in the last 50 years.
Other than the continuing problems of breakfast, lunch, and dinner it looks like the Castro Brothers, deo volente, have finally got their prison on the path to prosperity. That’s a joke. Is it not passing strange that on an island, surrounded by water, said water being overflowing with fish, this country is a mendicant on the world stage? When was the last time you saw a fat Cuban? In Havana?
Argentina is almost 200 years old. It is a country blessed by God with resources that makes other countries drool with envy. Their national heroine was a hooker. The only permanent contribution they have made to the Western Canon is the tango. I speak too quickly. They stole that from the Eyeties.
You can’t imagine the shame I feel when you wrote that Hugo Chavez is outspending this country in the reconstruction of Haiti.
Perhaps you can tell me why Haiti makes the Dominican Republic – they are on the same island, remember? – look like Switzerland.
Is it because the United States has not been “fair” to them?
I began my note to you with a horse reference.
I’ll end it in a similar fashion.
Your contributions to reasoned discourse are both Homeric and Herculean.
I hereby name you
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
Kevin Smith
PS – I no longer care what the man in the street – assuming they have streets – in Paraguay or Chad thinks of America. One suggestion we can all get behind, one suggestion that is specifically authorized in our Constitution would be to authorize letters of marque and reprisal and rid the seas of pirates. Shoot most of them. Take the rest of them into what passes for a port in those Hellhole countries that shelter them and hang them from what passes for a yardarm. What better form of foreign aid than that which allows the free flow of commerce?
Andres Oppenheimer
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 33132-1693
RE: “Aid Cuts Could Be Diplomatic Suicide” – Some comments on why xenophobia is making a much needed come back thanks to your article in today’s Miami Herald.
Snr. Oppenheimer,
You say
“My opinion: While the United States is the world’s
largest donor in dollar terms, it is already one of the
stingiest of the world’s richest countries in terms of
the size of its economy: it gives out only 0.2 per cent
of its gross domestic product in foreign assistance
compared with one percent for Sweden.”
The Miami Herald
Page 7A
Today
You
Lies. Damn lies. Statistics.
I am reminded of the restaurant in Paris with a sign advertising rabbit/horse stew. The waiter said it was 50/50. One horse and one rabbit.
If the United States were to increase its aid to the same percentage that the altruistic Swedes give how much would that be in absolute dollar terms?
If the Swedes were to double their amount, that is to say 1% to 2%, how many kroners would that be?
Could it not be argued that if my right foot is in a bucket of ice and my left foot is in a blazing fire place I would, on balance, be comfortable?
Constructing universals from particulars is akin to fingernails on the blackboard for anyone familiar with Logic and Rhetoric. Since it is empirically self evident that you have no knowledge of either I can continue apace.
You quote Congressman Eliot Engel [D-NY], as prototypical a modern American Liberal who ever preached the virtues and blessings of “Rainbow Stew” in Congress, as saying that cutting foreign aid is “penny wise and pound foolish”.
History, that cruel mistress of the inconvenient truth that facts are hard things, suggests otherwise.
How much money, weigh it or count it, has this country put down the rat hole that is Africa in the last 50 years?
10 Presidents from both parties and what do we have to show for it?
Zimbabwe? How about the at least 5 countries that have slavery? How about the charnel house that the Tutsis and the Hutus killed each other in? They did it such numbers that the UN had to fly in foreign crocodiles, the domestic ones having, for once, been sated. How many “success” stories are there in Africa? Why is it my fault? How can more of my money make poor Africans rich?
I search in vain for a Madison, a Franklin, or a Jefferson. I look for the fine hand of an Edmund Burke or the restraining hand of a George Mason. Instead, I find Idi Amin, Emperor Bokassa, Omar Bongo, Samuel Doe, inter alia. Special note should be made of Robert Mugabe. He turned a breadbasket of Southern Africa into the dark side of the moon in less than 10 years. Now you want me to give him more money?
The inmates are running the asylum. The boobies are now in charge of the hatch.
As an alumnus of the Peace Corps, as one actively involved in the original Alliance for Progress, I ask what has changed in Latin America in the last 50 years.
Other than the continuing problems of breakfast, lunch, and dinner it looks like the Castro Brothers, deo volente, have finally got their prison on the path to prosperity. That’s a joke. Is it not passing strange that on an island, surrounded by water, said water being overflowing with fish, this country is a mendicant on the world stage? When was the last time you saw a fat Cuban? In Havana?
Argentina is almost 200 years old. It is a country blessed by God with resources that makes other countries drool with envy. Their national heroine was a hooker. The only permanent contribution they have made to the Western Canon is the tango. I speak too quickly. They stole that from the Eyeties.
You can’t imagine the shame I feel when you wrote that Hugo Chavez is outspending this country in the reconstruction of Haiti.
Perhaps you can tell me why Haiti makes the Dominican Republic – they are on the same island, remember? – look like Switzerland.
Is it because the United States has not been “fair” to them?
I began my note to you with a horse reference.
I’ll end it in a similar fashion.
Your contributions to reasoned discourse are both Homeric and Herculean.
I hereby name you
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
Kevin Smith
PS – I no longer care what the man in the street – assuming they have streets – in Paraguay or Chad thinks of America. One suggestion we can all get behind, one suggestion that is specifically authorized in our Constitution would be to authorize letters of marque and reprisal and rid the seas of pirates. Shoot most of them. Take the rest of them into what passes for a port in those Hellhole countries that shelter them and hang them from what passes for a yardarm. What better form of foreign aid than that which allows the free flow of commerce?
Steven L. Goldstein The Sun-Sentinel
February 11, 2011
Steven L. Goldstein
The Sun-Sentinel
200 E. Las Olas Blvd
Ft. Lauderdale FL 33301
RE: Here comes the Judge – Some comments on your column about the inequities of elections, particularly when “they”, those serpents, elect people who vote for “activist right-wing judges”. If only “they” would listen to Guru Goldstein.
My dear Professor,
“For 20 years, they [the Democrats] have let Republicans
pack the federal courts at all levels with
activist right-wing fanatics.”
The Sun-Sentinel
Today
You
One of the blessings of being a card carrying modern American Liberal, yea, verily a fire breathing volcano of Jeremiads, a condition that permits, indeed encourages the cognitive dissonance required to juggle flexible facts, the result of which always makes truth a casualty, is that you can say the above flapdoodle claptrap hoping and believing that there is no one in your audience who “remembers”.
It is 2011. 20 years ago was 1991.
How many “activist right-wing fanatics” did Bib Bill Clinton “pack” the federal courts with?
“Fairness”, one of those mAL objectives that is best compared to the horizon [no matter how fast you run you will never get there], demands that I tell you that I led a demonstration in 1999 in front of the White House. Wearing my “Vast Right-Wing Conspirator” cap, holding my newly born granddaughter in one arm, I shook my fist and shouted “Come out with your hands up, you son of a bitch, we have the place surrounded”.
Perhaps one of us was kidnapped and held hostage the past two years by the Florida branch of the Somali Pirates. How many “right-wing fanatics” has Lord Barack the Beneficent nominated to any federal court?
Are you telling me that Justice Sotomayor, a self described “wise Latina”, is a “right-wing fanatic”? Are you telling me that she and Justice Kagan worship at the shrine of Darth Cheney or, worse, his evil twin Vlad Cheney?
Do these ladies carry bazookas in their fanny packs? Are they underground members of the Federalist Society? Do they have a secret dance routine in honor of the right to bear arms? Do they have the Rule of Law tattooed where the sun never reaches?
Your call to block judicial appointments through filibuster is yet more proof of the lunacy of the thought processes demanded of mush brained mALs. This President will nominate Judge Roy Bean or Judge Dredd before he nominates a “right-wing fanatic”.
Speaking of filibusters, we have a pop quiz.
What 3 things did Senator Byrd and Justice Black have in common?
#1- They were both champions of the filibuster.
#2 – They were both members of the KuKluxKlan.
#3 – They were both Democrats.
I am positive that Justice Breyer, AKA “right-wing fanatic”, will be overjoyed when he learns that you have “outed” him a staunch supporter of the 9th and 10th Amendments. How did Big Bill slip him past Hillary, the head Hecate?
It is always an inconvenient truth but facts are hard, stubborn things. Permit me to call the roll of “activist right-wing judges”, people who because their asses are wrapped in black, people who have a gavel large enough to command the leaves to stay on the trees, who were Republican nominees.
Chief Justice Warren, Justice Brennan, Justice Blackmun, Justice Stevens, Justice O’Conner, Justice Kennedy, and Justice Souter.
It is easy to camouflage those nasty “activist right-wing judges”.
Did I miss anyone?
Have someone check your meds. The “white rabbits” are winning.
Kevin Smith
Steven L. Goldstein
The Sun-Sentinel
200 E. Las Olas Blvd
Ft. Lauderdale FL 33301
RE: Here comes the Judge – Some comments on your column about the inequities of elections, particularly when “they”, those serpents, elect people who vote for “activist right-wing judges”. If only “they” would listen to Guru Goldstein.
My dear Professor,
“For 20 years, they [the Democrats] have let Republicans
pack the federal courts at all levels with
activist right-wing fanatics.”
The Sun-Sentinel
Today
You
One of the blessings of being a card carrying modern American Liberal, yea, verily a fire breathing volcano of Jeremiads, a condition that permits, indeed encourages the cognitive dissonance required to juggle flexible facts, the result of which always makes truth a casualty, is that you can say the above flapdoodle claptrap hoping and believing that there is no one in your audience who “remembers”.
It is 2011. 20 years ago was 1991.
How many “activist right-wing fanatics” did Bib Bill Clinton “pack” the federal courts with?
“Fairness”, one of those mAL objectives that is best compared to the horizon [no matter how fast you run you will never get there], demands that I tell you that I led a demonstration in 1999 in front of the White House. Wearing my “Vast Right-Wing Conspirator” cap, holding my newly born granddaughter in one arm, I shook my fist and shouted “Come out with your hands up, you son of a bitch, we have the place surrounded”.
Perhaps one of us was kidnapped and held hostage the past two years by the Florida branch of the Somali Pirates. How many “right-wing fanatics” has Lord Barack the Beneficent nominated to any federal court?
Are you telling me that Justice Sotomayor, a self described “wise Latina”, is a “right-wing fanatic”? Are you telling me that she and Justice Kagan worship at the shrine of Darth Cheney or, worse, his evil twin Vlad Cheney?
Do these ladies carry bazookas in their fanny packs? Are they underground members of the Federalist Society? Do they have a secret dance routine in honor of the right to bear arms? Do they have the Rule of Law tattooed where the sun never reaches?
Your call to block judicial appointments through filibuster is yet more proof of the lunacy of the thought processes demanded of mush brained mALs. This President will nominate Judge Roy Bean or Judge Dredd before he nominates a “right-wing fanatic”.
Speaking of filibusters, we have a pop quiz.
What 3 things did Senator Byrd and Justice Black have in common?
#1- They were both champions of the filibuster.
#2 – They were both members of the KuKluxKlan.
#3 – They were both Democrats.
I am positive that Justice Breyer, AKA “right-wing fanatic”, will be overjoyed when he learns that you have “outed” him a staunch supporter of the 9th and 10th Amendments. How did Big Bill slip him past Hillary, the head Hecate?
It is always an inconvenient truth but facts are hard, stubborn things. Permit me to call the roll of “activist right-wing judges”, people who because their asses are wrapped in black, people who have a gavel large enough to command the leaves to stay on the trees, who were Republican nominees.
Chief Justice Warren, Justice Brennan, Justice Blackmun, Justice Stevens, Justice O’Conner, Justice Kennedy, and Justice Souter.
It is easy to camouflage those nasty “activist right-wing judges”.
Did I miss anyone?
Have someone check your meds. The “white rabbits” are winning.
Kevin Smith
Christine Dolen The Miami Herald
February 12, 2011
Christine Dolen
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 33132-1693
RE: “The Laramie Project” – Your review this day and the questions never asked.
Ms. Dolen,
“Though the impulse behind revisiting
‘The Laramie Project’ and following
performances with talkback sessions is
admirable the result in this case is not.
The memory of Matthew Shepherd and
the audiences deserve much better.”
The Miami Herald
Today
You
[Italics yours]
Matthew Shepherd was a 19 year old homosexual who went to bar frequented by homosexuals. He was picked up by 2 barbaric non-homosexuals. He was beaten in a most savage manner and left to die hanging on a barbed wire fence.
Jesse Dirkhising was a 12 year old boy who was kidnapped by 2 feral homosexuals. Over 2 days he was repeatedly raped and sodomized with objects both organic and inorganic. He died by strangulation. The method chosen was gasoline soaked rag that was shoved down his throat.
Why one was deemed worthy of being compared to the Oedipus trilogy while the other is still waiting to be written is a both a testament and a condemnation to and of modern culture. Alas. but “Trousered Apes” now rule.
Your review concentrates completely on the production rather than on the play.
No would remember “My American Cousin” save for the fact that it was the play that Lincoln was watching when he was assassinated.
Is it possible to say the “The Laramie Project” is a bad play without having the dreaded Word Police asking you, while the chorus throws flaming bags of cat scat at you, “Are you now or have you ever been a homophobe”?
Into the Gehenna of Kumbaya plays let me include “Corpus Cristi”, “The Vagina Monologues”, and “Angels in America”.
It is bad enough that they are “bad” plays but they are oft times government funded “bad” plays. Let me rephrase that. They are taxpayer funded “bad” plays. Let me clarify that. The cry of “No Taxation without Representation” would apply to these “bad” plays with but a simple adjustment.
The fact is that no one has yet topped the Greeks when it comes to theatrical production of murder[s] most foul. I must add that the last scenes of “King Lear” and “Hamlet” are up and coming contenders.
If, as you say, the “talkback session” after the play ends is something to be admired how about a Q & A talback session on Antigone? What does one say about Goneril and Regan?
And why does no one mourn Jesse Dirkhising?
Kevin Smith
Christine Dolen
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 33132-1693
RE: “The Laramie Project” – Your review this day and the questions never asked.
Ms. Dolen,
“Though the impulse behind revisiting
‘The Laramie Project’ and following
performances with talkback sessions is
admirable the result in this case is not.
The memory of Matthew Shepherd and
the audiences deserve much better.”
The Miami Herald
Today
You
[Italics yours]
Matthew Shepherd was a 19 year old homosexual who went to bar frequented by homosexuals. He was picked up by 2 barbaric non-homosexuals. He was beaten in a most savage manner and left to die hanging on a barbed wire fence.
Jesse Dirkhising was a 12 year old boy who was kidnapped by 2 feral homosexuals. Over 2 days he was repeatedly raped and sodomized with objects both organic and inorganic. He died by strangulation. The method chosen was gasoline soaked rag that was shoved down his throat.
Why one was deemed worthy of being compared to the Oedipus trilogy while the other is still waiting to be written is a both a testament and a condemnation to and of modern culture. Alas. but “Trousered Apes” now rule.
Your review concentrates completely on the production rather than on the play.
No would remember “My American Cousin” save for the fact that it was the play that Lincoln was watching when he was assassinated.
Is it possible to say the “The Laramie Project” is a bad play without having the dreaded Word Police asking you, while the chorus throws flaming bags of cat scat at you, “Are you now or have you ever been a homophobe”?
Into the Gehenna of Kumbaya plays let me include “Corpus Cristi”, “The Vagina Monologues”, and “Angels in America”.
It is bad enough that they are “bad” plays but they are oft times government funded “bad” plays. Let me rephrase that. They are taxpayer funded “bad” plays. Let me clarify that. The cry of “No Taxation without Representation” would apply to these “bad” plays with but a simple adjustment.
The fact is that no one has yet topped the Greeks when it comes to theatrical production of murder[s] most foul. I must add that the last scenes of “King Lear” and “Hamlet” are up and coming contenders.
If, as you say, the “talkback session” after the play ends is something to be admired how about a Q & A talback session on Antigone? What does one say about Goneril and Regan?
And why does no one mourn Jesse Dirkhising?
Kevin Smith
Judge Ginger Lerner-Wren Broward Mental Health Court
February 17, 2011
Judge Ginger Lerner-Wren
Broward Mental Health Court
600 South Andrews Avenue
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” or “Support Mental Health or I’ll Kill You” – Some comments on your op-ed on Public Health Cuts
Judge Lerner-Wren,
You say
“One out of every four adults in the United States
suffers from some sort of mental health illness.”
Then you say
“A majority of those with mental illness also
suffer[s] from substance abuse addictions.”
Would it be a sign of my mental health if I were to carry your thoughts to their Logical conclusion?
There are 90 Judges in Broward County.
While some of their shenanigans and peccadilloes would suggest either dementia, a perpetual teen age wild ass wild oat sowing, de minimis thievery, or just some old fashioned ethically challenged activities, none of these falls under the category of mental illness as you define it. Using your math 22 Judges are a full bubble off plumb. Further, at least 12 of these are life members of the Peruvian Powder Marching Society or they subscribe to the dictum “there is no such thing as a large whisky”.
Maybe we could have an afternoon of competency hearings with the Judges judging themselves. That would be a new chapter in the proud and glorious history of the Broward Judiciary.
Your plea for more money or we will all perish is the perpetual mantra of modern American Liberalism. Every morning these very bright people get up and say today is the day that I will catch the horizon. I must tell you absolutely, positively that you will never get there. Step 2 in this process is to find someone to blame. Lately it’s been a President or a Governor whose names rhyme with Bush. It is painfully self evident that they have written your name down in their books and then drew a line through it.
Normally your lachrymose wailing- how could wailing be otherwise? – would get you some consideration in my weekly contest to find the
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
[JUDICIAL SECTION]
But wait. There’s more.
I found a letter that I wrote to you on September 1, 2001.
You made Page 1 of the Miami Herald in the matter of Darren Cooper. He had been living in his mother’s yard for 5 years. For this you blamed, certainly not him, certainly not his mother, but the poor “flack catching” weenies who run the hatch. NB that I did not say “boobies” who run the hatch.
As an aside, I rather think Mr. Cooper would be an improvement of anybody running a government facility. He went “green” before it became popular. He left no carbon footprint. He became the ultimate recycler what with 5 years of ca-ca to do something with. Organic fertilizer for organic vegetables. A win/win. No drowning polar bears.
Anyway, it’s 10 years later and you’re still at it.
I am reminded of the man in the rubber room, the room with the door with no handle on the inside, for 35 years. All he ever does is clap his hands. Finally a shrink is able to get through to him. “Why are you doing it for 35 years?” he is asked. “If I stop clapping poison snakes will fall from the sky and bite us.” The questioner looks out the window and tells him that there are no poison snakes to be seen. “See. That’s why I have to keep clapping.”
Anyway, it’s 10 years later and you’re still at it.
Somewhere the tune “Still Crazy After All These Years” is playing and I just can’t get it out of my head.
The inconvenient truth is that the state is running out of money. Unlike the Feds we can’t print it. We don’t have an Uncle Wong who will send us tons of Benjamins every Thursday afternoon. To say otherwise would be, in the words of Gary Larson, noted artist and pundit, “Just plain nuts”.
Kevin Smith
Judge Ginger Lerner-Wren
Broward Mental Health Court
600 South Andrews Avenue
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” or “Support Mental Health or I’ll Kill You” – Some comments on your op-ed on Public Health Cuts
Judge Lerner-Wren,
You say
“One out of every four adults in the United States
suffers from some sort of mental health illness.”
Then you say
“A majority of those with mental illness also
suffer[s] from substance abuse addictions.”
Would it be a sign of my mental health if I were to carry your thoughts to their Logical conclusion?
There are 90 Judges in Broward County.
While some of their shenanigans and peccadilloes would suggest either dementia, a perpetual teen age wild ass wild oat sowing, de minimis thievery, or just some old fashioned ethically challenged activities, none of these falls under the category of mental illness as you define it. Using your math 22 Judges are a full bubble off plumb. Further, at least 12 of these are life members of the Peruvian Powder Marching Society or they subscribe to the dictum “there is no such thing as a large whisky”.
Maybe we could have an afternoon of competency hearings with the Judges judging themselves. That would be a new chapter in the proud and glorious history of the Broward Judiciary.
Your plea for more money or we will all perish is the perpetual mantra of modern American Liberalism. Every morning these very bright people get up and say today is the day that I will catch the horizon. I must tell you absolutely, positively that you will never get there. Step 2 in this process is to find someone to blame. Lately it’s been a President or a Governor whose names rhyme with Bush. It is painfully self evident that they have written your name down in their books and then drew a line through it.
Normally your lachrymose wailing- how could wailing be otherwise? – would get you some consideration in my weekly contest to find the
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
[JUDICIAL SECTION]
But wait. There’s more.
I found a letter that I wrote to you on September 1, 2001.
You made Page 1 of the Miami Herald in the matter of Darren Cooper. He had been living in his mother’s yard for 5 years. For this you blamed, certainly not him, certainly not his mother, but the poor “flack catching” weenies who run the hatch. NB that I did not say “boobies” who run the hatch.
As an aside, I rather think Mr. Cooper would be an improvement of anybody running a government facility. He went “green” before it became popular. He left no carbon footprint. He became the ultimate recycler what with 5 years of ca-ca to do something with. Organic fertilizer for organic vegetables. A win/win. No drowning polar bears.
Anyway, it’s 10 years later and you’re still at it.
I am reminded of the man in the rubber room, the room with the door with no handle on the inside, for 35 years. All he ever does is clap his hands. Finally a shrink is able to get through to him. “Why are you doing it for 35 years?” he is asked. “If I stop clapping poison snakes will fall from the sky and bite us.” The questioner looks out the window and tells him that there are no poison snakes to be seen. “See. That’s why I have to keep clapping.”
Anyway, it’s 10 years later and you’re still at it.
Somewhere the tune “Still Crazy After All These Years” is playing and I just can’t get it out of my head.
The inconvenient truth is that the state is running out of money. Unlike the Feds we can’t print it. We don’t have an Uncle Wong who will send us tons of Benjamins every Thursday afternoon. To say otherwise would be, in the words of Gary Larson, noted artist and pundit, “Just plain nuts”.
Kevin Smith
Charles Pope The Oregonian
February 20, 2011
Charles Pope
The Oregonian
1320 SW Broadway
Portland, OR 97201
RE: Civil fraud, no? – A comment on the campaign of incumbent Congressman David Wu.
Mr. Pope,
Federal statutes are quite clear. Fraud can be committed by lying or by failing to disclose a material fact.
Don’t you think it is passing strange that Congressman Wu’s descent into a place where snakes and brains are synonymous was not made known, in a most open and public way, to the electorate that he represented?
If Congressman Wu couldn’t use sharp objects or he was unable to operate heavy equipment wouldn’t that be a material fact? Why wasn’t it disclosed every night?
Has “My country right or wrong” been replaced by “My Congressman crazy or not”?
Would it make me a Yahoo if I were to remind you how modern American Liberals, particularly those of the ink stained wretch variety, welcomed in a most orgasmic way, the news of an alleged 30 year old DUI incident involving George Bush? If memory serves it was “leaked” to the press 4 days before the election of 2000.
Using the tortured Logic of true believers it was tried again in 2004. Dan Rather made up a story out of whole cloth about something that happened or didn’t happen 35 years before the election. Even after the story was proved false Rather said, “So what. Even if it’s in not true it’s still true”. That the press wanted it to be true is proof yet again of the narcotic effect of eclectic indignation.
Before your gag reflex of hanging chads and a packed Supreme Court kicks in I am quick to tell you that if Vice President Alpha Gump had carried either Arkansas, the home state of Handsome Billy from Hot Springs, or his own state of Tennessee he would have been President even if he got no votes in Florida.
Your story details public behavior of Congressman Wu beginning on October 27, 2010 that if he were a public school bus driver would have had him on a Thorazine enema and packed in dry ice in a heartbeat. Perhaps the bad Martians were after him. Maybe his Rootie Kazootie aluminum foil alien repeller antennae weren’t working like they were supposed to.
Quien sabe?
I know that the country is lessened by what was not done.
As sign of my displeasure with hypocrisy of your profession I will dispose of the remaining stock of my Full Sail IPA. Don’t fret. I shall do it in an environmentally sensitive manner.
What a state! Ducks, beavers, jackals, and sycophantic bumkissers.
Kevin Smith
Charles Pope
The Oregonian
1320 SW Broadway
Portland, OR 97201
RE: Civil fraud, no? – A comment on the campaign of incumbent Congressman David Wu.
Mr. Pope,
Federal statutes are quite clear. Fraud can be committed by lying or by failing to disclose a material fact.
Don’t you think it is passing strange that Congressman Wu’s descent into a place where snakes and brains are synonymous was not made known, in a most open and public way, to the electorate that he represented?
If Congressman Wu couldn’t use sharp objects or he was unable to operate heavy equipment wouldn’t that be a material fact? Why wasn’t it disclosed every night?
Has “My country right or wrong” been replaced by “My Congressman crazy or not”?
Would it make me a Yahoo if I were to remind you how modern American Liberals, particularly those of the ink stained wretch variety, welcomed in a most orgasmic way, the news of an alleged 30 year old DUI incident involving George Bush? If memory serves it was “leaked” to the press 4 days before the election of 2000.
Using the tortured Logic of true believers it was tried again in 2004. Dan Rather made up a story out of whole cloth about something that happened or didn’t happen 35 years before the election. Even after the story was proved false Rather said, “So what. Even if it’s in not true it’s still true”. That the press wanted it to be true is proof yet again of the narcotic effect of eclectic indignation.
Before your gag reflex of hanging chads and a packed Supreme Court kicks in I am quick to tell you that if Vice President Alpha Gump had carried either Arkansas, the home state of Handsome Billy from Hot Springs, or his own state of Tennessee he would have been President even if he got no votes in Florida.
Your story details public behavior of Congressman Wu beginning on October 27, 2010 that if he were a public school bus driver would have had him on a Thorazine enema and packed in dry ice in a heartbeat. Perhaps the bad Martians were after him. Maybe his Rootie Kazootie aluminum foil alien repeller antennae weren’t working like they were supposed to.
Quien sabe?
I know that the country is lessened by what was not done.
As sign of my displeasure with hypocrisy of your profession I will dispose of the remaining stock of my Full Sail IPA. Don’t fret. I shall do it in an environmentally sensitive manner.
What a state! Ducks, beavers, jackals, and sycophantic bumkissers.
Kevin Smith
Steven L. Goldstein The Sun-Sentinel
February 20, 2011
Steven L. Goldstein
The Sun-Sentinel
200 E. Las Olas Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: “You’ve been had” – Why I’ll never find out what those wich, wascally, Wepublicans are going to do to us today.
My dear Professor,
Back in my other life, I testified in a Federal Courthouse. Mindful of the dictum laid down by Thomas More that “a man on oath holds his soul in his hands as if it were water” and that “he opens his hands at this own peril” I testified honestly. [As an aside, the difference between lying and perjury and not knowing it was what made Big Bill Clinton, as George Will said, “Not the worst President but the worst man ever to be President”]
A Federal Judge agreed with me when I said that I had no need to read a particular letter because it began with “As you know”. Since I already knew it there was no need to go further. The Government objected. The judge said to move on.
Thus, when your column about Governor Scott proclaiming him as the new point man of the axis of evil began with “You’ve been had”, I saw no need to continue.
Quien sabe?
Maybe he encouraged teenage obesity. Maybe he banned les merdes du Quebec form crossing the Georgia/Florida line. Maybe he wants to know why, despite all that money, Johnny still can’t read. Maybe he thinks that nesting turtles should be put into the soup pot. Maybe he thinks the Everglades is a swamp and should be drained.
Like I said, Quien sabe.
I know you’ll tell me.
Speaking of “You’ve been had”…
In 1916, in 1940, and in 1964 Democratic candidates for President said that they “would never send American boys to fight in foreign wars”.
Would “You’ve been had” apply here? If not, why not?
Fast forward to Lord Barack the Beneficent, and Blessed be his Name, issued his first executive order in the White House proclaiming the closing of America’s first Caribbean adult sleep away camp, AKA “GITMO”. It is now one year and one month past the drop dead date pronounced ex cathedra in the Oval Office. Would “You’ve been had” apply there? If not, why not? Leon Panetta, his CIA director, said that if Americans were to capture Osama bin Laden, the head filthy WOG who lives to kill, he would be sent to – drum roll, please – GITMO.
Is that what you mean by being “had”?
I’ve been told by confidential sources, sources who insisted on anonymity, that Governor Scott is planning to round up all the manatees and put them into the business end of the world’s largest Cuisinart. After achieving several laudable environmental goals, among them the end to mammalian methane eructations, said flatulence contributing mightily to Global Warming and drowning polar bears, he is gong to have a hell of a lot of sausage with which to feed the homeless, the peripatetic victims of life’s cruel circumstances. If that isn’t a win/win I don’t know what is.
I am told that one of the reasons he is opposed to ObamaCare is that Medicare recipients will have to wrestle pythons and anacondas, the current residents of the Big Swamp West of Sawgrass Mall, or be able to take their drugs only on an odd/even day basis, like the good old days of gas rationing during the glorious reign of Jimmy Carter. I miss him, don’t you?
Although you don’t believe in evil – and how could a card carrying modern American Liberal think otherwise – you know how rotten Republicans can be. I count on you to tell me how bad it will be. If I’ve already been “had” why read on?
Kevin Smith
Steven L. Goldstein
The Sun-Sentinel
200 E. Las Olas Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: “You’ve been had” – Why I’ll never find out what those wich, wascally, Wepublicans are going to do to us today.
My dear Professor,
Back in my other life, I testified in a Federal Courthouse. Mindful of the dictum laid down by Thomas More that “a man on oath holds his soul in his hands as if it were water” and that “he opens his hands at this own peril” I testified honestly. [As an aside, the difference between lying and perjury and not knowing it was what made Big Bill Clinton, as George Will said, “Not the worst President but the worst man ever to be President”]
A Federal Judge agreed with me when I said that I had no need to read a particular letter because it began with “As you know”. Since I already knew it there was no need to go further. The Government objected. The judge said to move on.
Thus, when your column about Governor Scott proclaiming him as the new point man of the axis of evil began with “You’ve been had”, I saw no need to continue.
Quien sabe?
Maybe he encouraged teenage obesity. Maybe he banned les merdes du Quebec form crossing the Georgia/Florida line. Maybe he wants to know why, despite all that money, Johnny still can’t read. Maybe he thinks that nesting turtles should be put into the soup pot. Maybe he thinks the Everglades is a swamp and should be drained.
Like I said, Quien sabe.
I know you’ll tell me.
Speaking of “You’ve been had”…
In 1916, in 1940, and in 1964 Democratic candidates for President said that they “would never send American boys to fight in foreign wars”.
Would “You’ve been had” apply here? If not, why not?
Fast forward to Lord Barack the Beneficent, and Blessed be his Name, issued his first executive order in the White House proclaiming the closing of America’s first Caribbean adult sleep away camp, AKA “GITMO”. It is now one year and one month past the drop dead date pronounced ex cathedra in the Oval Office. Would “You’ve been had” apply there? If not, why not? Leon Panetta, his CIA director, said that if Americans were to capture Osama bin Laden, the head filthy WOG who lives to kill, he would be sent to – drum roll, please – GITMO.
Is that what you mean by being “had”?
I’ve been told by confidential sources, sources who insisted on anonymity, that Governor Scott is planning to round up all the manatees and put them into the business end of the world’s largest Cuisinart. After achieving several laudable environmental goals, among them the end to mammalian methane eructations, said flatulence contributing mightily to Global Warming and drowning polar bears, he is gong to have a hell of a lot of sausage with which to feed the homeless, the peripatetic victims of life’s cruel circumstances. If that isn’t a win/win I don’t know what is.
I am told that one of the reasons he is opposed to ObamaCare is that Medicare recipients will have to wrestle pythons and anacondas, the current residents of the Big Swamp West of Sawgrass Mall, or be able to take their drugs only on an odd/even day basis, like the good old days of gas rationing during the glorious reign of Jimmy Carter. I miss him, don’t you?
Although you don’t believe in evil – and how could a card carrying modern American Liberal think otherwise – you know how rotten Republicans can be. I count on you to tell me how bad it will be. If I’ve already been “had” why read on?
Kevin Smith
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