Posts
July 2, 2013
Gina Barecca
The Hartford Courant
285 Broad Street
Hartford, CT 06115
RE: Turn them upside down and they all look alike – Some comments on your Op-Ed in today’s Sun-Sentinel.
Ms. Barecca,
A feminist English teacher at a New England university? God’s Holy Trousers, but I think I may have just hit, excuse the expression, the Mother Lode. “I know that my Redeemer liveth,”
First, your comment “I don’t think it was women who decided it was a good idea to start putting small print on tight V-necks” is spot on. The follow up fact, one that English teachers at New England universities seem to be incapable of grasping, is that only chicks with reasonably bodacious ta-tas buy “tight V-necks”. Does the term “Ruebenesque” come to mind?
I hear all the drivel about women being paid less than men – 79% seems to be the du jour amount of the unfairness of it all – and I wonder why a hard driving, aggressive, dare I say “pushy bitch”, didn’t grab the idea and run with it.
Speaking of gender caused pay inequity – Imagine the shame at being paid less because you can’t pee, gracefully, standing up – please tell me how you are able to cope with equally credentialed male contemporaries, you have no peers, being paid 25% more? What difference does it make which part of the tampon/condom machine you use in the uni-sex john/jane when it comes time to condemn Wordsworth for being a sexist? Paraphrasing Dr. Johnson, “He’s a pig and that’s an end to it”. Screw the daffodils.
Before I get to the subject of bumper stickers I have some questions.
Your bio says that you are both a “feminist scholar” and a “teacher of feminist theory”.
Inter alia I know why Oedipus went to Colonnus. Lysistrata sure had some set of balls doing what she did, particularly in the time she did it, Was Helen worth 1000 ships? Do you think Penelope knew that Ulysses was catting around on his way home? We know what happened to Abelard, Did Heloise think that was fair? Beatrice, What’s the story? Yes, I know about June 16th. I read a lot. Can I tell you that I can quote Kipling without you thinking ill of me? I know that Rachel Carson killed more Africans in the last 40 years then 10 Idi Amins. I have been trying to get a copy of Hillary Rodham’s senior thesis, the one about Saul Alinsky. Perhaps you can help. I am still sure that “Rosie O’Grady and the Colonel’s lady are sisters under the skin”.
What in the name of Antigone and Lear’s daughters is “feminist theory”? While you are at it, how about a few sentences explaining the difference[s] between “feminist scholar” and “female scholar”? Does pi know the gender of its teacher? Is your column published in any Muslim countries? Did you shatter any “glass ceilings” the way Mrs. Clinton did? Do you think “Women and children first” should be half changed? Have you ever been to a “Ladies Night”? How long do you think it will take to bring gender equity to Arlington Cemetery?
Back to the bumper stickers…
How about “I Hope You Get Raped”? That’s what passes for reasoned discourse on the part of Pro-Death supporters in the Texas legislative abortion brouhaha.
How about “Cut Obama’s Balls Off”? That’s what Jesse Jackson said in February, 2008.
How about “Sanger and Mengele - Perfect Together”? Do some homework.
How about “Show Us Your Tits”? If you are cruising on I95, in your polar bear drowning SUV, it’s safer than doing an up close and personal viewing of The Vagina Monologues.
How about “God Bless John Wayne”? It beats the Hell out of “I Miss Carter”.
How about “Mecca Delenda Est”? End game.
Dave Barry was right. You are funny for a broad.
Kevin Smith
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
July 14, 2013
Letter to the Editor
The Miami Herald
3511 NW 91st Street
Miami, FL 33172
RE: Pre-verdict editorial and post-verdict reality
Sirs,
I heard the dreaded “N” word, the word that White folk dare not use unless they are asking for a copy of Dick Gregory’s autobiography, early this AM when I went to get the Herald.
It was OK because a Black man used it.
When I entered the Stop & Shop the non-quota driven racial dynamic was two Whites of Northern European origin, one mildly 3rd Worldish Middle Eastern Semite, and one African-American.
I swear, on my honor as a melanin challenged, curmudgeonly disabled senior citizen who was a proud founder of the “vast Right-Wing conspiracy” and who, because of my views on GlobalCoolingGlobalWarmingClimateChange is about to become the chief spokesman for the renascent Flat Earth Society, that I heard the African-American say ”I don’t like the verdict because I am a dreaded “N” word”.
The other Northern European said that it’s OK. “Since I’m Irish that means I’m drunk”. I said, “I’m Irish too.” He asked me, “Are you drunk too?” “Not yet”, I replied. He also told the shopkeeper that he was a “terrorist”.
The absence of vitriol and billingsgate kept the temperature down. It precluded a SWAT raid by the Word Police of the Church of the Perpetually Outraged. There was much jocularity and badinage. Alas, my tutorial on the presumption of innocence did not keep the attention of two of the players as they both left. The shopkeeper was not going anywhere ‘til he was paid.
Can we construct a universal, in a way that does not offend Logic, from this particular? Of course not. Does it mean that the Voice of the Turtle will once again be heard in the land? Don’t be an ass.
On the other hand….
“Whatever the legal outcome, let there be no mistake:
Trayvon Martin’s short life has marked our national soul
and, in his death, we all have been forced to confront
how far we’ve come and how far we have to go – still”
The Miami Herald
Today
You
Before you ended your editorial with the above nonsense you hectored us earlier with admonitions about not resorting to violence should the verdict not meet with our approval.
That speaks volumes to the fundamental lower case racism that is the fuel that powers modern American Liberalism. The warning was aimed at the “African-American community…along with school officials, coaches, and youth center counselors”. You are telling “them” to bite their lip and not to burn down the liquor store, not because they shouldn’t, but because the “cause” will be set back. Sisyphus had it easy. Since the goal line, like the horizon, keeps moving there will be no end to troubled days.
Midnight Basketball helps “them” cope.
I don’t recall – I may be wrong so please check – any media outlet, print or electronic, advising White America to stay calm if O.J. Simpson were to be found innocent. If memory serves Short Hills, NJ did not burn down the post office. Highland Park, TX was a model of restraint. Lighthouse Point, FL actually had a bake sale to help single moms, women of color, with kids in need of a good Ritalin program.
I accept the possibility that I may be branded a racist for saying the above. If that means that I will have my ass Gorilla Glued to a Saturn rocket, alongside of Paul Deen, to colonize as many of Jupiter’s lesser moons as is possible in the next 50 years, so be it. [While not in the Jennifer Lopez/Pippa Middleton class I assure you our respective asses will speak well of Western Civilization when we get to Calisto.]
Speaking of the homicidal tendencies of white Hispanics would not Logic dictate
that the caravan of media whores and panderers now moves on to Boston? Forget about the not so whirling Dervish with the pressure cooker bombs. White Hispanic Aaron Hernandez is accused of the 1st degree murder of an African-American. Evidence and facts notwithstanding, the race of the toe-tagged guy and the race of the alleged perpetrator should be sufficient for the trolls and ghouls to gather in Boston. Even if the Frito Bandido is found guilty he will be eligible for weekend passes a la Willie Horton was a few years back.
I can tell you as a 2 state juror of felony trials that the first thing brought up when deliberations started was the six week delay between the incident and the arrest.
I am surprised they were out as long as they were.
Speaking of “marking our national soul”, why didn’t the horrific death of a much younger Jesse Dirkhising “mark our national soul”?
Are souls marked eclectically?
I am too old to even ask that question.
That I do is proof that not only will man endure but that “he will prevail”.
The camel shits; the caravan moves on.
Kevin Smith
Letter to the Editor
The Miami Herald
3511 NW 91st Street
Miami, FL 33172
RE: Pre-verdict editorial and post-verdict reality
Sirs,
I heard the dreaded “N” word, the word that White folk dare not use unless they are asking for a copy of Dick Gregory’s autobiography, early this AM when I went to get the Herald.
It was OK because a Black man used it.
When I entered the Stop & Shop the non-quota driven racial dynamic was two Whites of Northern European origin, one mildly 3rd Worldish Middle Eastern Semite, and one African-American.
I swear, on my honor as a melanin challenged, curmudgeonly disabled senior citizen who was a proud founder of the “vast Right-Wing conspiracy” and who, because of my views on GlobalCoolingGlobalWarmingClimateChange is about to become the chief spokesman for the renascent Flat Earth Society, that I heard the African-American say ”I don’t like the verdict because I am a dreaded “N” word”.
The other Northern European said that it’s OK. “Since I’m Irish that means I’m drunk”. I said, “I’m Irish too.” He asked me, “Are you drunk too?” “Not yet”, I replied. He also told the shopkeeper that he was a “terrorist”.
The absence of vitriol and billingsgate kept the temperature down. It precluded a SWAT raid by the Word Police of the Church of the Perpetually Outraged. There was much jocularity and badinage. Alas, my tutorial on the presumption of innocence did not keep the attention of two of the players as they both left. The shopkeeper was not going anywhere ‘til he was paid.
Can we construct a universal, in a way that does not offend Logic, from this particular? Of course not. Does it mean that the Voice of the Turtle will once again be heard in the land? Don’t be an ass.
On the other hand….
“Whatever the legal outcome, let there be no mistake:
Trayvon Martin’s short life has marked our national soul
and, in his death, we all have been forced to confront
how far we’ve come and how far we have to go – still”
The Miami Herald
Today
You
Before you ended your editorial with the above nonsense you hectored us earlier with admonitions about not resorting to violence should the verdict not meet with our approval.
That speaks volumes to the fundamental lower case racism that is the fuel that powers modern American Liberalism. The warning was aimed at the “African-American community…along with school officials, coaches, and youth center counselors”. You are telling “them” to bite their lip and not to burn down the liquor store, not because they shouldn’t, but because the “cause” will be set back. Sisyphus had it easy. Since the goal line, like the horizon, keeps moving there will be no end to troubled days.
Midnight Basketball helps “them” cope.
I don’t recall – I may be wrong so please check – any media outlet, print or electronic, advising White America to stay calm if O.J. Simpson were to be found innocent. If memory serves Short Hills, NJ did not burn down the post office. Highland Park, TX was a model of restraint. Lighthouse Point, FL actually had a bake sale to help single moms, women of color, with kids in need of a good Ritalin program.
I accept the possibility that I may be branded a racist for saying the above. If that means that I will have my ass Gorilla Glued to a Saturn rocket, alongside of Paul Deen, to colonize as many of Jupiter’s lesser moons as is possible in the next 50 years, so be it. [While not in the Jennifer Lopez/Pippa Middleton class I assure you our respective asses will speak well of Western Civilization when we get to Calisto.]
Speaking of the homicidal tendencies of white Hispanics would not Logic dictate
that the caravan of media whores and panderers now moves on to Boston? Forget about the not so whirling Dervish with the pressure cooker bombs. White Hispanic Aaron Hernandez is accused of the 1st degree murder of an African-American. Evidence and facts notwithstanding, the race of the toe-tagged guy and the race of the alleged perpetrator should be sufficient for the trolls and ghouls to gather in Boston. Even if the Frito Bandido is found guilty he will be eligible for weekend passes a la Willie Horton was a few years back.
I can tell you as a 2 state juror of felony trials that the first thing brought up when deliberations started was the six week delay between the incident and the arrest.
I am surprised they were out as long as they were.
Speaking of “marking our national soul”, why didn’t the horrific death of a much younger Jesse Dirkhising “mark our national soul”?
Are souls marked eclectically?
I am too old to even ask that question.
That I do is proof that not only will man endure but that “he will prevail”.
The camel shits; the caravan moves on.
Kevin Smith
Friday, July 12, 2013
July 11, 2013
Michael Mayo
The Sun Sentinel
RE: Thank you lifeguards! – Some comments on your unlinkable Sun-Sentinel column about the first responders to rip tides.
Mr. Mayo.
I second your motion to praise lifeguards, particularly those on ocean duty.
I saw some of them this morning. They all appeared to be in good shape what with their zinc-oxided noses offset by their red cheeks. They have an air of sang-froid about them that says they will save you even if you are Quebecois.
I noticed something else. I am glad that your column gives me a chance to bring it up.
They are all, 100%, with zero exceptions, “creepy assed crackers”. Every last one of them.
I am pretty sure that there were no “white Hispanics” either.
Brothers with doo rags? Say what?
Ramadan fans with worry beads? Nope
Serious Jews? Satmar or Lubavitcher? No way, Jose.
Turbaned Sikhs or saffron robed Buddhists?
Why not?
Would not the eternal quest for diversity and inclusion, as an end in itself, dictate that no more White guys be hired until the annual life guard ball resembles the universe these brave men swim into harm’s way for?
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Michael Mayo
The Sun Sentinel
RE: Thank you lifeguards! – Some comments on your unlinkable Sun-Sentinel column about the first responders to rip tides.
Mr. Mayo.
I second your motion to praise lifeguards, particularly those on ocean duty.
I saw some of them this morning. They all appeared to be in good shape what with their zinc-oxided noses offset by their red cheeks. They have an air of sang-froid about them that says they will save you even if you are Quebecois.
I noticed something else. I am glad that your column gives me a chance to bring it up.
They are all, 100%, with zero exceptions, “creepy assed crackers”. Every last one of them.
I am pretty sure that there were no “white Hispanics” either.
Brothers with doo rags? Say what?
Ramadan fans with worry beads? Nope
Serious Jews? Satmar or Lubavitcher? No way, Jose.
Turbaned Sikhs or saffron robed Buddhists?
Why not?
Would not the eternal quest for diversity and inclusion, as an end in itself, dictate that no more White guys be hired until the annual life guard ball resembles the universe these brave men swim into harm’s way for?
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
July 9, 2013
Gena Barreca
The Hartford Courant
285 Broad Street
Hartford, CT 06115
RE: Even the movies! – Will there ever be relief for the long suffering sisterhood of perpetually dumped on feminist theorists who teach English literature at a New England university? Apparently not based on your column about how Lady Macbeth and Lucrezia Borgia were denied their rightful places in the movies.
http://www.courant.com/news/opinion/hc-op-barreca-hannah-arendt-heat-movies-about-wome-20130703,0,1297672.column
Ms. Barreca,
As a Board Certified Life Coach, a curmudgeonly combo of Dr. Phil and Oprah with a soupcon of Miss Lonelyhearts for leavening, I seek to expand my envelope. I read of the knicker knotting knavishness of testosterone laden movie folk who deprive you of a magical sisterhood sharing moment at the flicks. All I can do is help.
Before I offer you the solution to your du jour angst I must comment on another part of your article. [By the by, is narcissism a gender driven thing?]
You mention Mary McCarthy without mentioning Lillian Hellman.
Ms McCarthy loathed, I mean despised, Ms Hellman. That alone grants Ms McCarthy many indulgences for her sins both of commission and omission, both real or imagined. That Ms. Hellman was the most despicable, most loathsome artistic figure of the 20th century there can neither be dispute nor can there be doubt.
Since she swung from both sides of the plate she also became the first successful cross bred incubus/succubus. That was so she could work in the daytime.
When she died, and you may remember spontaneous Te Deums sweeping the nation, I began both a 501C3 and a 501C4 to pay for an armed guard at her grave. The difference here is that the bayonets were pointing in so as to keep her from sneaking out at night to further infect the Republic. “By any means necessary” became our watchword. Anything to keep this bruja, this Hecate, in the eternal clutches of Mother Earth.
This cuno had the cojones to be a model for Black Glama mink coats. If the critters had known whose back they would going to be on they would have flung themselves into the nearest Cuisinart.
I can see how being paid only 79% as much as an equally credentialed male counterpart could drive you mad. It is obvious from the uni-sex shower in the English Literature teachers’ lounge that the only thing different between the two of you is that he doesn’t shave his legs.
I can’t help you with that save to say that maybe you should try shaving only one leg.
I hope that should Wide-Bottomed Hillary take over in 2016 that she will be able to change that. Hope & Change. Get it? Like Trollope, I revel in the quotidian ordinariness of life unfolding. Keep your chin up. Keep your powder dry. Don’t trip over any clichés but help is on the way.
As to your rom-com, chick flick sharp stick in your genderized eye the solution is at hand.
“Women buy half of America’s movie tickets. Let’s get more
women writing scripts where women have lead roles and,
while we’re at it, let’s get more women into director’s chairs.
The Sun Sentinel
Today
You
Tell the ladies to take a cue from Lysistrata. She told the chicks in the agora to Gorilla Glue their knees together so as to get their Hoplite husbands’ full attention. I think Thucydides wrote that was when ice water first appears in literature.
Tell the ladies to stop buying tickets.
In about 6 weeks you will see Juanita Wayne, AKA “The Duchess”, and Steverina Spielberg leading a SWAT team to rip out all the urinals in Hollywood.
No need to say thank you.
Just trying to be of help.
About your last meat loaf….
Kevin Smith
PS – I would have used “directors’ chairs” rather than “director’s”. Surely there must be more than one Martina Scorsese or Frances Coppola out there, right?
Gena Barreca
The Hartford Courant
285 Broad Street
Hartford, CT 06115
RE: Even the movies! – Will there ever be relief for the long suffering sisterhood of perpetually dumped on feminist theorists who teach English literature at a New England university? Apparently not based on your column about how Lady Macbeth and Lucrezia Borgia were denied their rightful places in the movies.
http://www.courant.com/news/opinion/hc-op-barreca-hannah-arendt-heat-movies-about-wome-20130703,0,1297672.column
Ms. Barreca,
As a Board Certified Life Coach, a curmudgeonly combo of Dr. Phil and Oprah with a soupcon of Miss Lonelyhearts for leavening, I seek to expand my envelope. I read of the knicker knotting knavishness of testosterone laden movie folk who deprive you of a magical sisterhood sharing moment at the flicks. All I can do is help.
Before I offer you the solution to your du jour angst I must comment on another part of your article. [By the by, is narcissism a gender driven thing?]
You mention Mary McCarthy without mentioning Lillian Hellman.
Ms McCarthy loathed, I mean despised, Ms Hellman. That alone grants Ms McCarthy many indulgences for her sins both of commission and omission, both real or imagined. That Ms. Hellman was the most despicable, most loathsome artistic figure of the 20th century there can neither be dispute nor can there be doubt.
Since she swung from both sides of the plate she also became the first successful cross bred incubus/succubus. That was so she could work in the daytime.
When she died, and you may remember spontaneous Te Deums sweeping the nation, I began both a 501C3 and a 501C4 to pay for an armed guard at her grave. The difference here is that the bayonets were pointing in so as to keep her from sneaking out at night to further infect the Republic. “By any means necessary” became our watchword. Anything to keep this bruja, this Hecate, in the eternal clutches of Mother Earth.
This cuno had the cojones to be a model for Black Glama mink coats. If the critters had known whose back they would going to be on they would have flung themselves into the nearest Cuisinart.
I can see how being paid only 79% as much as an equally credentialed male counterpart could drive you mad. It is obvious from the uni-sex shower in the English Literature teachers’ lounge that the only thing different between the two of you is that he doesn’t shave his legs.
I can’t help you with that save to say that maybe you should try shaving only one leg.
I hope that should Wide-Bottomed Hillary take over in 2016 that she will be able to change that. Hope & Change. Get it? Like Trollope, I revel in the quotidian ordinariness of life unfolding. Keep your chin up. Keep your powder dry. Don’t trip over any clichés but help is on the way.
As to your rom-com, chick flick sharp stick in your genderized eye the solution is at hand.
“Women buy half of America’s movie tickets. Let’s get more
women writing scripts where women have lead roles and,
while we’re at it, let’s get more women into director’s chairs.
The Sun Sentinel
Today
You
Tell the ladies to take a cue from Lysistrata. She told the chicks in the agora to Gorilla Glue their knees together so as to get their Hoplite husbands’ full attention. I think Thucydides wrote that was when ice water first appears in literature.
Tell the ladies to stop buying tickets.
In about 6 weeks you will see Juanita Wayne, AKA “The Duchess”, and Steverina Spielberg leading a SWAT team to rip out all the urinals in Hollywood.
No need to say thank you.
Just trying to be of help.
About your last meat loaf….
Kevin Smith
PS – I would have used “directors’ chairs” rather than “director’s”. Surely there must be more than one Martina Scorsese or Frances Coppola out there, right?
July 7, 2013
Carl Hiaasen
The Miami Herald
3511 NW 91st Street
Miami, FL 33172
RE: Why does something missing stink? Some comments on your column in today’s Miami Herald about George Zimmerman and the possibility that he may…Yikes! ...walk.
Mr. Hiaasen,
Anthony Lewis, late of the New York Times, an institution that still honors Walter Duranty, coined the term “cultural arrogance” to describe rich White 1st worlders going Tsk Tsk! when Pol Pot killed 1/3rd – repeat – 1/3rd of his country so he could start over in his quest to build the perfect society.
Now we have another example of Pinch’s Folly, an institution kept alive by dirty money swag from the Frito Bandido and re-runs of the Discovery Channel, coining another term, white Hispanic, when describing George Zimmerman. Trayvon Martin, the alleged victim, was either Liberty Valance or a shy, sensitive African-American who liked macramé, modern dance, and gangsta rap haiku. I may be wrong. It could have been gangsta rap tofu. “What difference does it make” as Hillary the Beneficent and the Good told us.
If George Zimmerman is a “white Hispanic” what would that make Aaron Hernandez? Although Hernandez technically faces the death penalty the Willie Horton rule still prevails in Massachusetts. George Custer, even though he is still dead and will be dead for a very long time, is the only man who could possibly be executed in Massachusetts. If for no other reason it would be gift to Pocohantas Warren.
But that’s not why I write.
What’s missing from your column, as Harold Rumpole, he of the Old Bailey said, is one of the two great gifts from England to the rest of the world. The first was the traditional English breakfast, an institution that sacrosanct until the arrival of the dreaded food police.
The other, the presumption of innocence, is, alas, applied eclectically.
The Duke lacrosse team was as guilty as sin. If it wasn’t it should have been. White privileged racists – Who plays lacrosse other than White privileged racists who are the children of White privileged racists? – should have been guilty even if they weren’t?
Forget about the punishment fitting the crime. In this instance the narrative fit the crime. White privileged racists taking advantage of a single mom, a woman of color, with a child in need of a good Ritalin program and easier access to public transportation whose son is not old enough for Midnight Basketball. Enough tragedy there to silence Sophocles and Aeschylus.
I have an interesting 2 state history of jury duty.
Guilt must be proved; innocence need not be.
Just ask O.J.
Meanwhile, the lizard is frozen or it isn’t.
If it were a Black on Black crime, a White on White crime, or a Black on White crime the Grand Jury would have cleared its throat and said “Next”.
Kevin Smith
Carl Hiaasen
The Miami Herald
3511 NW 91st Street
Miami, FL 33172
RE: Why does something missing stink? Some comments on your column in today’s Miami Herald about George Zimmerman and the possibility that he may…Yikes! ...walk.
Mr. Hiaasen,
Anthony Lewis, late of the New York Times, an institution that still honors Walter Duranty, coined the term “cultural arrogance” to describe rich White 1st worlders going Tsk Tsk! when Pol Pot killed 1/3rd – repeat – 1/3rd of his country so he could start over in his quest to build the perfect society.
Now we have another example of Pinch’s Folly, an institution kept alive by dirty money swag from the Frito Bandido and re-runs of the Discovery Channel, coining another term, white Hispanic, when describing George Zimmerman. Trayvon Martin, the alleged victim, was either Liberty Valance or a shy, sensitive African-American who liked macramé, modern dance, and gangsta rap haiku. I may be wrong. It could have been gangsta rap tofu. “What difference does it make” as Hillary the Beneficent and the Good told us.
If George Zimmerman is a “white Hispanic” what would that make Aaron Hernandez? Although Hernandez technically faces the death penalty the Willie Horton rule still prevails in Massachusetts. George Custer, even though he is still dead and will be dead for a very long time, is the only man who could possibly be executed in Massachusetts. If for no other reason it would be gift to Pocohantas Warren.
But that’s not why I write.
What’s missing from your column, as Harold Rumpole, he of the Old Bailey said, is one of the two great gifts from England to the rest of the world. The first was the traditional English breakfast, an institution that sacrosanct until the arrival of the dreaded food police.
The other, the presumption of innocence, is, alas, applied eclectically.
The Duke lacrosse team was as guilty as sin. If it wasn’t it should have been. White privileged racists – Who plays lacrosse other than White privileged racists who are the children of White privileged racists? – should have been guilty even if they weren’t?
Forget about the punishment fitting the crime. In this instance the narrative fit the crime. White privileged racists taking advantage of a single mom, a woman of color, with a child in need of a good Ritalin program and easier access to public transportation whose son is not old enough for Midnight Basketball. Enough tragedy there to silence Sophocles and Aeschylus.
I have an interesting 2 state history of jury duty.
Guilt must be proved; innocence need not be.
Just ask O.J.
Meanwhile, the lizard is frozen or it isn’t.
If it were a Black on Black crime, a White on White crime, or a Black on White crime the Grand Jury would have cleared its throat and said “Next”.
Kevin Smith
July 7, 2013
Greg Cote
The Miami Herald
Re: Homer? – Some remarkably contained comments on your head up your ass reference to Homer in today’s MH
Dear dummy,
“The Reds’ HOMER BAILEY pitched the season’s first
no-hitter and the second of his career. How weird that a
pitcher would be named Homer. Heck, how weird that
anybody would be named HOMER.”
The Miami Herald
Today
You
Winslow Homer? Nah. Too many seascapes.
Homer Jones, #45 of the New York Giants, the inventor of the spike? Nah.
“Tell me o muse, of that ingenious hero who traveled far
and wide after sacking the famous city of Troy.”
That HOMER, you stupid bastard.
I was lecturing at an alternative high school, the alternative being that they listen to me, a curmudgeonly old White man, or they go to big guy prison. I told, forgive me, the captive audience that when you finish the Iliad, the world’s first war story, you get to read the Odyssey, the world’s first love story.
A somewhat somnambulistic feral Black youth, and should a paradigmatic template of that genre need to be struck he was the model, perked up and said, “Wasn’t that the story of the dude who took 20 years to get back to his old lady?”
3,000 years.
The story in its essence.
Genius.
That HOMER, you putz.
Kevin Smith
Greg Cote
The Miami Herald
Re: Homer? – Some remarkably contained comments on your head up your ass reference to Homer in today’s MH
Dear dummy,
“The Reds’ HOMER BAILEY pitched the season’s first
no-hitter and the second of his career. How weird that a
pitcher would be named Homer. Heck, how weird that
anybody would be named HOMER.”
The Miami Herald
Today
You
Winslow Homer? Nah. Too many seascapes.
Homer Jones, #45 of the New York Giants, the inventor of the spike? Nah.
“Tell me o muse, of that ingenious hero who traveled far
and wide after sacking the famous city of Troy.”
That HOMER, you stupid bastard.
I was lecturing at an alternative high school, the alternative being that they listen to me, a curmudgeonly old White man, or they go to big guy prison. I told, forgive me, the captive audience that when you finish the Iliad, the world’s first war story, you get to read the Odyssey, the world’s first love story.
A somewhat somnambulistic feral Black youth, and should a paradigmatic template of that genre need to be struck he was the model, perked up and said, “Wasn’t that the story of the dude who took 20 years to get back to his old lady?”
3,000 years.
The story in its essence.
Genius.
That HOMER, you putz.
Kevin Smith
July 6, 2013
Stephen L. Goldstein
The Sun Sentinel
RE: TU QUOQUE – Why didn’t someone tell me about this before?
Professor Screwtape, AKA “Peckerhead”
I know what you must be thinking.
What caused this abrupt change in me, your most gracious, indeed idyllic and irenic, critic? I was always a gentle, caring scold.
What made me change from being a mildly amusing decent fellow to a curmudgeonly, pole-axing, meaner than cat shit stalker of modern American Liberals?
You did, you dunce.
In your unlinkable column of June 5 you told us that argumentum ad hominem was OK as long as the right guy was getting hominemed as in “Borked”.
You told us how good it was that Bork became an eponym. Judge Bork was a triple threat. First, his name as a noun. Second, his name as a verb. Third, his name as a political strategy.
In your case, you vile turd, I would have preferred to use argumentum ad absurdum or argumentum ad captandum but since you told me that it was OK to look into Judge Bork’s garbage, into Judge Bork’s choices of rental movies, and of what he did to try to help his wife die a bit less unpleasantly I feel duty-bound to hit you with a bat – rhetorically speaking, of course.
Thus, when you speak of “settled law”, you cabeza de caca, I am delighted to tell you that Plessy v Ferguson was “settled law”.
I would like to have used petard as an example – hoist on one’s own petard – with its sexist overtones but I fear a night time visit by the dreaded modern American Liberal word police. The first bottom feeding slug to send the coppers – men with badges and guns, in this instance agents of the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, Agent Thomas and Agent Mineva to be precise – after me was Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz. Since mALs of all stripes have no sense of humor I would like to staple her Julia Roberts lips to a 110 outlet and try to straighten her hair.
The great ending to the Bork story is that if he had been approved for the Supreme Court Vice President Alfred Arnold Gore, son of Albert Arnold Gore, Sr a man whose most notable achievement was being in the tank for Armand Hammer, a man whose nose was so far up Lenin’s ass, yes, that Lenin, that Al Sr. taught his son the words to the Internationale before the Star Spangled Banner, would have been President.
[Of course, if the dumb bastard had won Tennessee, his home state, a state where he set a record by flunking out of 2 graduate schools in one semester before going on to being a tobacco growing, slum landlording, serial polluting shit he would have been President even if he did not get one vote in Florida.] Maybe that explains why he sold out to the murdering thugs who blew up the World Trade Center.]
Since you mention Clarence Thomas in a way you would not mention Trayvon Martin – Does that make you a friggin’ hypocrite? It sure does, you dummy – I must mention Thurgood Marshall.
Perhaps the term “idiot savant” applies to him. Without doubt the best trial lawyer in the 20th century to serve on the Supreme Court his time as a Justice was excruciating.
It is rumored that the first time he put his robes on he tried to put his feet in first. If it hadn’t been for Justice Powell he would still be waiting for Diana Ross. The rumor that his shoes have directions “toes in first” cannot be confirmed.
Read his opinion on Roe V Wade. It could have been written by Dr. Mengele. Margaret Sanger, she of the “Cull the herd School of Eugenics” and the intellectual forebear of the Nuremberg Race Laws, would have patted him on the head for good luck. In its entirety it is the best argument for making abortion legal and retroactive
He got his job the old fashioned modern American Liberal way. Guilty White people gave it to him.
Did you know that Justice Bryer’s wife’ family is a “name” at Lloyd’s of London? That means that every time, every single time with no exceptions, the Court hears a case involving insurance or banking he is up to his lower lip in a conflict of interest.
One thing more, you pustule.
I want you to write the words vox populi in the little black book that all mALS carry. Then I want you to draw a line through it.
The people can’t be trusted. They’re all shmucks, right?
This is liberating. No more Mister Nice Guy. Thanks.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Stephen L. Goldstein
The Sun Sentinel
RE: TU QUOQUE – Why didn’t someone tell me about this before?
Professor Screwtape, AKA “Peckerhead”
I know what you must be thinking.
What caused this abrupt change in me, your most gracious, indeed idyllic and irenic, critic? I was always a gentle, caring scold.
What made me change from being a mildly amusing decent fellow to a curmudgeonly, pole-axing, meaner than cat shit stalker of modern American Liberals?
You did, you dunce.
In your unlinkable column of June 5 you told us that argumentum ad hominem was OK as long as the right guy was getting hominemed as in “Borked”.
You told us how good it was that Bork became an eponym. Judge Bork was a triple threat. First, his name as a noun. Second, his name as a verb. Third, his name as a political strategy.
In your case, you vile turd, I would have preferred to use argumentum ad absurdum or argumentum ad captandum but since you told me that it was OK to look into Judge Bork’s garbage, into Judge Bork’s choices of rental movies, and of what he did to try to help his wife die a bit less unpleasantly I feel duty-bound to hit you with a bat – rhetorically speaking, of course.
Thus, when you speak of “settled law”, you cabeza de caca, I am delighted to tell you that Plessy v Ferguson was “settled law”.
I would like to have used petard as an example – hoist on one’s own petard – with its sexist overtones but I fear a night time visit by the dreaded modern American Liberal word police. The first bottom feeding slug to send the coppers – men with badges and guns, in this instance agents of the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, Agent Thomas and Agent Mineva to be precise – after me was Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz. Since mALs of all stripes have no sense of humor I would like to staple her Julia Roberts lips to a 110 outlet and try to straighten her hair.
The great ending to the Bork story is that if he had been approved for the Supreme Court Vice President Alfred Arnold Gore, son of Albert Arnold Gore, Sr a man whose most notable achievement was being in the tank for Armand Hammer, a man whose nose was so far up Lenin’s ass, yes, that Lenin, that Al Sr. taught his son the words to the Internationale before the Star Spangled Banner, would have been President.
[Of course, if the dumb bastard had won Tennessee, his home state, a state where he set a record by flunking out of 2 graduate schools in one semester before going on to being a tobacco growing, slum landlording, serial polluting shit he would have been President even if he did not get one vote in Florida.] Maybe that explains why he sold out to the murdering thugs who blew up the World Trade Center.]
Since you mention Clarence Thomas in a way you would not mention Trayvon Martin – Does that make you a friggin’ hypocrite? It sure does, you dummy – I must mention Thurgood Marshall.
Perhaps the term “idiot savant” applies to him. Without doubt the best trial lawyer in the 20th century to serve on the Supreme Court his time as a Justice was excruciating.
It is rumored that the first time he put his robes on he tried to put his feet in first. If it hadn’t been for Justice Powell he would still be waiting for Diana Ross. The rumor that his shoes have directions “toes in first” cannot be confirmed.
Read his opinion on Roe V Wade. It could have been written by Dr. Mengele. Margaret Sanger, she of the “Cull the herd School of Eugenics” and the intellectual forebear of the Nuremberg Race Laws, would have patted him on the head for good luck. In its entirety it is the best argument for making abortion legal and retroactive
He got his job the old fashioned modern American Liberal way. Guilty White people gave it to him.
Did you know that Justice Bryer’s wife’ family is a “name” at Lloyd’s of London? That means that every time, every single time with no exceptions, the Court hears a case involving insurance or banking he is up to his lower lip in a conflict of interest.
One thing more, you pustule.
I want you to write the words vox populi in the little black book that all mALS carry. Then I want you to draw a line through it.
The people can’t be trusted. They’re all shmucks, right?
This is liberating. No more Mister Nice Guy. Thanks.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Friday, July 5, 2013
Fred Grimm
July 4, 2013
Fred Grimm
fgrimm@miamiherald.com
RE: - “Growlers” – Why can’t we just drink our beer? – Some comments on your column in today’s Miami Herald on the unfairness of life, a theme that you find to be bottomless, in this instance when it comes to the size of take-out containers filled with craft beer.
Mr. Grimm,
At last! A teachable moment for a fire breathing, card carrying modern American Liberal, and on the 4th of July to boot.
First, a lesson in regional etymology. Since no one has yet come forward to replace Mencken a band of keen amateurs must do our best to keep his flame burning.
“Growlers” in Bayonne, New Jersey, when I was a youth, were the enamel lined, handled pots that fathers sent their sons to the corner saloon – Bayonne had 168 of them. An impressive number until you learn that Hoboken, 1/3rd the size of Bayonne, had 305 retail consumption licenses, to fetch some tap beer. Before you left your father would rub his finger across some butter and then rub the inside of the pot. That kept the head down thereby giving Dad a few ounces more of the brew. I don’t remember them being 64 ounces but I may be wrong.
Second, a lesson in beer drinking wedding reception etiquette.
At my daughter’s wedding reception, a memorable night at the High Lawn Pavilion in West Orange, New Jersey, any and all Anheuser-Busch products were banned. Also, anything labeled as Light or Lite beers were verboten. The banquet manager asked my why. I told him the rule of de gustibus applied to the latter while Shakespeare applied to the former. Just before Fat Jack says “The first thing we will do is kill all the lawyers” the warning “I’ll make it a crime to drink small beer” was pronounced. “Small beer” was what passed for Light beer in those days. The monitum and prohibition are still in force.
Budweiser was the worst beer in America. It being almost 40 years since I tasted it it may have gotten worse. Quien sabe? Its purchase by a Belgian company does not bode well for it. It’s been almost 21 centuries since anyone has said anything nice about the Belgae. Other than 2 famous battles fought on its soil, [neither of which they participated in], some decent chocolate, none of which is grown there, lace, and some really great dogs the place is Palookaville.
As to the “teachable moment”….
Legislative time spent over the size of beer containers speaks to our History.
In the Declaration of Independence, and may illuminations light up the sky in celebration thereof today, Jefferson writes of the things that the King has done, things
that caused us “to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another”.
“He has erected a multitude of new offices, and sent hither
swarms of new officers, to harass our people,
and eat out their substance.”
Can we not stipulate that the size of beer containers is not something that Western Civilization will rise or fall on? But haven’t said that can we not also stipulate that it is something that governments need not concern themselves with? And lastly, if free men choose to concern themselves with it why should it be interfered with?
Over the years, your columns, with a regularity that puts a nuclear powered metronome to shame, always – A – point out some real or imagined injustice and – B – say the only solution is to be found in some government agency, one that of course is on the side of the good guys, taking a hint from the President, “put its foot up some evildoer’s ass”.
Apparently the size of Florida “growlers” was a disputed point in the Florida legislature this year. Apparently some lobbyists – it is not known if the Koch Brothers or the NRA had a hand in this – convinced some legislators to deep-six the nagging question of 64 ounce craft beer containers.
The conundrum here is that when NARAL or the ACLU or the various teachers’ unions or pigs should have Constitutional protection or we should restore the Everglades due East on Commercial Boulevard until it is stopped by the Bahamas or bullying will end by legislative fiat or that teenage obesity should cease forthwith the same umbrella of protection for the latter is what enables the former to operate.
It is the only Constitutionally protected profession.
“Congress shall make no law…abridging,,,the right
of the people to peaceably to assemble, and to petition
the government for a redress of grievances.”
Article 1 – The Bill of Rights
It doesn’t list which grievances are “good” or “bad”. The Founders were smart that way.
It allows, indeed encourages by not banning, the edge groups to ask their legislators to consider the petitions of the Flat Earth Society, the Vegan menu in schools supporters, the banning of everyone from Quebec, the installation of literacy tests, not for voters but for candidates, the Can’t We All Just Get Along Society, the 2 guns in every house group, the promotion of the heartbreak of psoriasis society, the return of public floggings for certain offenses, NAMBLA, the “If Darwin was right why is it still a theory?” Marching Society, a $28.50 minimum wage, changing pi from 3.1416 to 3.0 to increase FCAT scores and to increase teenage self-esteem, the banning of profit from all contracts with any governmental agency to level the playing field, banning Spandex thongs on fat assed ladies, short pouring in beach bars, heroin for terminal cancer patients….my fingers tire and my eyes grow dim.
FREE MEN SPEAK WITH FREE TONGUES!
Will you join in my crusade to ban Michelob?
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Fred Grimm
fgrimm@miamiherald.com
RE: - “Growlers” – Why can’t we just drink our beer? – Some comments on your column in today’s Miami Herald on the unfairness of life, a theme that you find to be bottomless, in this instance when it comes to the size of take-out containers filled with craft beer.
Mr. Grimm,
At last! A teachable moment for a fire breathing, card carrying modern American Liberal, and on the 4th of July to boot.
First, a lesson in regional etymology. Since no one has yet come forward to replace Mencken a band of keen amateurs must do our best to keep his flame burning.
“Growlers” in Bayonne, New Jersey, when I was a youth, were the enamel lined, handled pots that fathers sent their sons to the corner saloon – Bayonne had 168 of them. An impressive number until you learn that Hoboken, 1/3rd the size of Bayonne, had 305 retail consumption licenses, to fetch some tap beer. Before you left your father would rub his finger across some butter and then rub the inside of the pot. That kept the head down thereby giving Dad a few ounces more of the brew. I don’t remember them being 64 ounces but I may be wrong.
Second, a lesson in beer drinking wedding reception etiquette.
At my daughter’s wedding reception, a memorable night at the High Lawn Pavilion in West Orange, New Jersey, any and all Anheuser-Busch products were banned. Also, anything labeled as Light or Lite beers were verboten. The banquet manager asked my why. I told him the rule of de gustibus applied to the latter while Shakespeare applied to the former. Just before Fat Jack says “The first thing we will do is kill all the lawyers” the warning “I’ll make it a crime to drink small beer” was pronounced. “Small beer” was what passed for Light beer in those days. The monitum and prohibition are still in force.
Budweiser was the worst beer in America. It being almost 40 years since I tasted it it may have gotten worse. Quien sabe? Its purchase by a Belgian company does not bode well for it. It’s been almost 21 centuries since anyone has said anything nice about the Belgae. Other than 2 famous battles fought on its soil, [neither of which they participated in], some decent chocolate, none of which is grown there, lace, and some really great dogs the place is Palookaville.
As to the “teachable moment”….
Legislative time spent over the size of beer containers speaks to our History.
In the Declaration of Independence, and may illuminations light up the sky in celebration thereof today, Jefferson writes of the things that the King has done, things
that caused us “to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another”.
“He has erected a multitude of new offices, and sent hither
swarms of new officers, to harass our people,
and eat out their substance.”
Can we not stipulate that the size of beer containers is not something that Western Civilization will rise or fall on? But haven’t said that can we not also stipulate that it is something that governments need not concern themselves with? And lastly, if free men choose to concern themselves with it why should it be interfered with?
Over the years, your columns, with a regularity that puts a nuclear powered metronome to shame, always – A – point out some real or imagined injustice and – B – say the only solution is to be found in some government agency, one that of course is on the side of the good guys, taking a hint from the President, “put its foot up some evildoer’s ass”.
Apparently the size of Florida “growlers” was a disputed point in the Florida legislature this year. Apparently some lobbyists – it is not known if the Koch Brothers or the NRA had a hand in this – convinced some legislators to deep-six the nagging question of 64 ounce craft beer containers.
The conundrum here is that when NARAL or the ACLU or the various teachers’ unions or pigs should have Constitutional protection or we should restore the Everglades due East on Commercial Boulevard until it is stopped by the Bahamas or bullying will end by legislative fiat or that teenage obesity should cease forthwith the same umbrella of protection for the latter is what enables the former to operate.
It is the only Constitutionally protected profession.
“Congress shall make no law…abridging,,,the right
of the people to peaceably to assemble, and to petition
the government for a redress of grievances.”
Article 1 – The Bill of Rights
It doesn’t list which grievances are “good” or “bad”. The Founders were smart that way.
It allows, indeed encourages by not banning, the edge groups to ask their legislators to consider the petitions of the Flat Earth Society, the Vegan menu in schools supporters, the banning of everyone from Quebec, the installation of literacy tests, not for voters but for candidates, the Can’t We All Just Get Along Society, the 2 guns in every house group, the promotion of the heartbreak of psoriasis society, the return of public floggings for certain offenses, NAMBLA, the “If Darwin was right why is it still a theory?” Marching Society, a $28.50 minimum wage, changing pi from 3.1416 to 3.0 to increase FCAT scores and to increase teenage self-esteem, the banning of profit from all contracts with any governmental agency to level the playing field, banning Spandex thongs on fat assed ladies, short pouring in beach bars, heroin for terminal cancer patients….my fingers tire and my eyes grow dim.
FREE MEN SPEAK WITH FREE TONGUES!
Will you join in my crusade to ban Michelob?
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Dahleen Glanton The Chicago Tribune
July 1, 2013
Dahleen Glanton
The Chicago Tribune
dglanton@tribune.com
RE: Paula Deen…inter alia
Ms. Glanton,
[If I were you I wouldn’t be buying any green bananas. Your tenure as an ink-stained wench, employed by the Chicago Tribune, is in jeopardy. The Tribune Company does not want to be in the newspaper business. Perhaps the Koch Brothers or K. Rupert Murdoch will rescue you. You heard it here first.]
First, some disclosures.
#1 – I have 2 relatives who fought at Gettysburg with the Irish Brigade 150 years ago tomorrow. One of them is still there “wrapped in his faded coat of Blue”. I mention this because if reparations for slavery ever become the law in this country I intend to use that as a tax credit carry-forward to pay my “fair” share.
#2 – I have been to Savannah and Charleston. The only mistake General William Tecumseh Sherman – “Uncle Billy” to his troops – made in his extremely successful “surge” was that he did not level Savannah and then obliterate and I mean flatten like the Romans did to Carthage, Charleston. The bumper sticker “No More Nagasakis” should always be followed by “No More Pearl Harbors”. If the “Mighty 8th” had bombed Dresden one more time the river would have disappeared. The same should have been Charleston’s fate. They started the War, didn’t they?
#3 – I spoke with a Black man dressed in white when last I dined at Uncle Bubba’s. We discussed oysters and the grilling thereof. He did not ask me for directions to the Underground Railroad.
I spent the better part of a decade under oath. United States Tax Court. United States Bankruptcy Court. United States Court of Appeals [5th and 10th Circuits] My name was on some papers that reached the Supreme Court of the United States where the vote was 9-0. Somehow I missed the United States Court of International Trade. Also, FISA.
I also was a 3rd party witness in a criminal investigation led by then United States Attorney Rudolph Giuliani. Although it was 1987 I was asked questions about what I did on November 1, 1961. Honest.
Because of the above and with all of the wounds being self-inflicted, and because of a confounding, constantly curmudgeonly concupiscence I find myself in perpetual “disfavor with fortune and men’s eyes”.
Of all the things I said in all those places there is one thing of which I am absolutely, with 100% metaphysical certitude, positive.
I did not commit perjury
It wasn’t particularly heroic. Thomas More said
“A man upon oath holds his soul in his hands as if it were water.
He opens his fingers at his own peril.”
If Paula Deen had perjured herself she would still be cholesterol’s best sales lady. The next convention of cardiac surgeons should begin with a moment of silence and then a glowing tribute to Paula Deen. She did more to help young cardiologists pay off their medical school loans than anyone else.
If Paula Deen had followed the example of another aging Southerner – And shades of Monica L. but why does Bill Clinton leap to mind – and perjured herself she still would be employing scores of poor Black Southerners in her privately funded Summer of Recovery
I propose that we put every White American under oath. I propose that we ask them if they ever used the dreaded “N” word, the word that White Americans dare not speak. I propose that we ask every White American under oath if they ever thought of the dreaded “N” word, the word that Americans dare not think.
“I did not have sex with that woman...Miss Lewinsky” was a lie. Presidents are expected to lie. 3 times in the 20th century 3 different Presidents, all of whom were, coincidentally I’m sure, Democrats said that they “would not send American boys to fight in foreign wars”. They did not perjure themselves. Neither did Paula Deen. Bill Clinton did.
Free speech is like pregnancy. Either you are or you aren’t. Either it is or it isn’t.
It is the same with uterine papillary serous carcinoma. Either you have it or you don’t. Benign or malignant. It can’t be both.
The American taxpayer subsidizes a “Trousered Ape” loose form sculpture called “Piss Christ”. It is a clear cylinder filled with piss in which is hung a crucifix. If someone shows the Mohammed cartoons, particularly the ones that show him buggering a goat or a pre-pubescent girl, Pakistan burns itself down.
Why is one acceptable and the other isn’t?
“Frankly Dahleen, I don’t give a damn”
If you have your knickers in a knot because Paula Deen didn’t perjure herself get over it. As to Pakistan, let it burn,
Jesse Jackson said he “wanted to cut Obama’s nuts off”, remember? Did anybody fire him?
About 30,000,000 Black babies have been aborted since 1973. Is that funny?
Here’s to Paula!
Pass the gravy and the corn bread, please, and save me some of that pecan pie
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
PS – Mick jokes, Heartbreak of Psoriasis jokes. Kike jokes, EyeTie jokes, Somewhat domesticated swarthy 3rd Worlder jokes, Hunchback jokes, Lawyer jokes, Polack jokes, Peckerhead jokes, Sweater meat jokes, Frog jokes, LGBT jokes, Economy/Pantyhose jokes, Ethiopians in the fuel supply jokes, Dot head jokes, Bearded clam jokes, Chink jokes, Blonde jokes, Liver spot jokes, Greaser jokes, Suicide jokes, Social Security jokes, Hershey Highway jokes….you name it and we can yuck it up. Most are available for immediate delivery. All major credit cards accepted. Send a SASE or visit our website www.LaughYourAssOff.com
Dahleen Glanton
The Chicago Tribune
dglanton@tribune.com
RE: Paula Deen…inter alia
Ms. Glanton,
[If I were you I wouldn’t be buying any green bananas. Your tenure as an ink-stained wench, employed by the Chicago Tribune, is in jeopardy. The Tribune Company does not want to be in the newspaper business. Perhaps the Koch Brothers or K. Rupert Murdoch will rescue you. You heard it here first.]
First, some disclosures.
#1 – I have 2 relatives who fought at Gettysburg with the Irish Brigade 150 years ago tomorrow. One of them is still there “wrapped in his faded coat of Blue”. I mention this because if reparations for slavery ever become the law in this country I intend to use that as a tax credit carry-forward to pay my “fair” share.
#2 – I have been to Savannah and Charleston. The only mistake General William Tecumseh Sherman – “Uncle Billy” to his troops – made in his extremely successful “surge” was that he did not level Savannah and then obliterate and I mean flatten like the Romans did to Carthage, Charleston. The bumper sticker “No More Nagasakis” should always be followed by “No More Pearl Harbors”. If the “Mighty 8th” had bombed Dresden one more time the river would have disappeared. The same should have been Charleston’s fate. They started the War, didn’t they?
#3 – I spoke with a Black man dressed in white when last I dined at Uncle Bubba’s. We discussed oysters and the grilling thereof. He did not ask me for directions to the Underground Railroad.
I spent the better part of a decade under oath. United States Tax Court. United States Bankruptcy Court. United States Court of Appeals [5th and 10th Circuits] My name was on some papers that reached the Supreme Court of the United States where the vote was 9-0. Somehow I missed the United States Court of International Trade. Also, FISA.
I also was a 3rd party witness in a criminal investigation led by then United States Attorney Rudolph Giuliani. Although it was 1987 I was asked questions about what I did on November 1, 1961. Honest.
Because of the above and with all of the wounds being self-inflicted, and because of a confounding, constantly curmudgeonly concupiscence I find myself in perpetual “disfavor with fortune and men’s eyes”.
Of all the things I said in all those places there is one thing of which I am absolutely, with 100% metaphysical certitude, positive.
I did not commit perjury
It wasn’t particularly heroic. Thomas More said
“A man upon oath holds his soul in his hands as if it were water.
He opens his fingers at his own peril.”
If Paula Deen had perjured herself she would still be cholesterol’s best sales lady. The next convention of cardiac surgeons should begin with a moment of silence and then a glowing tribute to Paula Deen. She did more to help young cardiologists pay off their medical school loans than anyone else.
If Paula Deen had followed the example of another aging Southerner – And shades of Monica L. but why does Bill Clinton leap to mind – and perjured herself she still would be employing scores of poor Black Southerners in her privately funded Summer of Recovery
I propose that we put every White American under oath. I propose that we ask them if they ever used the dreaded “N” word, the word that White Americans dare not speak. I propose that we ask every White American under oath if they ever thought of the dreaded “N” word, the word that Americans dare not think.
“I did not have sex with that woman...Miss Lewinsky” was a lie. Presidents are expected to lie. 3 times in the 20th century 3 different Presidents, all of whom were, coincidentally I’m sure, Democrats said that they “would not send American boys to fight in foreign wars”. They did not perjure themselves. Neither did Paula Deen. Bill Clinton did.
Free speech is like pregnancy. Either you are or you aren’t. Either it is or it isn’t.
It is the same with uterine papillary serous carcinoma. Either you have it or you don’t. Benign or malignant. It can’t be both.
The American taxpayer subsidizes a “Trousered Ape” loose form sculpture called “Piss Christ”. It is a clear cylinder filled with piss in which is hung a crucifix. If someone shows the Mohammed cartoons, particularly the ones that show him buggering a goat or a pre-pubescent girl, Pakistan burns itself down.
Why is one acceptable and the other isn’t?
“Frankly Dahleen, I don’t give a damn”
If you have your knickers in a knot because Paula Deen didn’t perjure herself get over it. As to Pakistan, let it burn,
Jesse Jackson said he “wanted to cut Obama’s nuts off”, remember? Did anybody fire him?
About 30,000,000 Black babies have been aborted since 1973. Is that funny?
Here’s to Paula!
Pass the gravy and the corn bread, please, and save me some of that pecan pie
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
PS – Mick jokes, Heartbreak of Psoriasis jokes. Kike jokes, EyeTie jokes, Somewhat domesticated swarthy 3rd Worlder jokes, Hunchback jokes, Lawyer jokes, Polack jokes, Peckerhead jokes, Sweater meat jokes, Frog jokes, LGBT jokes, Economy/Pantyhose jokes, Ethiopians in the fuel supply jokes, Dot head jokes, Bearded clam jokes, Chink jokes, Blonde jokes, Liver spot jokes, Greaser jokes, Suicide jokes, Social Security jokes, Hershey Highway jokes….you name it and we can yuck it up. Most are available for immediate delivery. All major credit cards accepted. Send a SASE or visit our website www.LaughYourAssOff.com
Sunday, June 30, 2013
June 30, 2013
Mayor Jack Seiler
City Hall
100 North Andrews Avenue
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: Why Professor Vivaldi’s work should be the paradigmatic template for climatologists
Mr. Mayor,
“From our corner of the world, President Obama’s announcement
of a comprehensive plan to address climate change will also be a
major story in the weeks ahead. South Florida is uniquely positioned
whereby we are always directly impacted by changes to energy policy
and environmental policy at the state and federal levels. We need to
be extremely involved in the creation and implementation of the climate
change plan to preserve and protect our quality of life
and our economic and environmental interests.”
The Sun Sentinel
Today
You
If History is a guide the President’s plan has a half-life of about 6 days. Alas, that is about 5 sunrises too many. If you find 2 adults, people who operate heavy machinery or who handle sharp objects, discussing the President’s plan on July 4th Baker Act them straight into a rubber room where the door does not open from the inside and start them on a heavy Thorazine enema protocol.
“South Florida is uniquely positioned…” Shucks, I knew that in grammar school. Back then we had geography lessons. Plus, I was born and raised in Bayonne, NJ – AKA The Peninsula of Industry [Interested in gospel true NJ voting stories? Send a SASE] A cursory glance at a map - remember them? - would show that Florida is a peninsula. It is in a sub-tropic clime surrounded by 2 separate bodies of water. It would be passing strange if unusual weather events did not happen.
As to being “extremely involved…” here’s a radical plan to reduce the size of our city’s carbon footprint. Further, it will undrown the polar bears by lessening our dependence on fossil fuels. An ancillary benefit will be closing the hole in the ozone layer. Short of banning les merdes du Quebec I can think of no better way “to preserve and protect our quality of life and our economic and our environmental interests”.
All of the above will happen as soon, excluding sending the rotters back to Quebec, as you turn off all the A/Cs in city buildings. Then you must ban all A/Cs in new construction or renovations. It must be enacted posthaste. Look into making it retroactive. A tax on all existing A/C units must be enacted immediately. The colder you keep your home the more you pay in taxes. Alcohol, tobacco, and tanning booth taxes can be used as a model. Why A/C nursing homes? The quicker they die the better it will be for the Social Security Trust Fund. Why does our beer have to be that cold? You’re a Democrat, right? Call the President and see if he can stick an A/C tax into Medicare Advantage plans here. Margaritas without ice and warm beer will show our resolve. All I see here are win/win propositions.
The city may have a rough decade [or two] but the reward – a return to a preindustrial society - is worth the risk. As soon as the good people in Darmiscotta, ME and Wynona, MN realize what we are doing they will flock here. After all, who could be against saving the planet?
Kevin Smith
PS – 2 things
When I moved here from New Jersey I lost my favorite T-shirt. It said
SOUNDS LIKE BULLSHIT TO ME.
Could you help me find another? 2 XX. Dark color.
Carbon Dioxide is a pollutant. If you want to save the planet hold your breath and count ever so slowly to 4,000.
Mayor Jack Seiler
City Hall
100 North Andrews Avenue
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: Why Professor Vivaldi’s work should be the paradigmatic template for climatologists
Mr. Mayor,
“From our corner of the world, President Obama’s announcement
of a comprehensive plan to address climate change will also be a
major story in the weeks ahead. South Florida is uniquely positioned
whereby we are always directly impacted by changes to energy policy
and environmental policy at the state and federal levels. We need to
be extremely involved in the creation and implementation of the climate
change plan to preserve and protect our quality of life
and our economic and environmental interests.”
The Sun Sentinel
Today
You
If History is a guide the President’s plan has a half-life of about 6 days. Alas, that is about 5 sunrises too many. If you find 2 adults, people who operate heavy machinery or who handle sharp objects, discussing the President’s plan on July 4th Baker Act them straight into a rubber room where the door does not open from the inside and start them on a heavy Thorazine enema protocol.
“South Florida is uniquely positioned…” Shucks, I knew that in grammar school. Back then we had geography lessons. Plus, I was born and raised in Bayonne, NJ – AKA The Peninsula of Industry [Interested in gospel true NJ voting stories? Send a SASE] A cursory glance at a map - remember them? - would show that Florida is a peninsula. It is in a sub-tropic clime surrounded by 2 separate bodies of water. It would be passing strange if unusual weather events did not happen.
As to being “extremely involved…” here’s a radical plan to reduce the size of our city’s carbon footprint. Further, it will undrown the polar bears by lessening our dependence on fossil fuels. An ancillary benefit will be closing the hole in the ozone layer. Short of banning les merdes du Quebec I can think of no better way “to preserve and protect our quality of life and our economic and our environmental interests”.
All of the above will happen as soon, excluding sending the rotters back to Quebec, as you turn off all the A/Cs in city buildings. Then you must ban all A/Cs in new construction or renovations. It must be enacted posthaste. Look into making it retroactive. A tax on all existing A/C units must be enacted immediately. The colder you keep your home the more you pay in taxes. Alcohol, tobacco, and tanning booth taxes can be used as a model. Why A/C nursing homes? The quicker they die the better it will be for the Social Security Trust Fund. Why does our beer have to be that cold? You’re a Democrat, right? Call the President and see if he can stick an A/C tax into Medicare Advantage plans here. Margaritas without ice and warm beer will show our resolve. All I see here are win/win propositions.
The city may have a rough decade [or two] but the reward – a return to a preindustrial society - is worth the risk. As soon as the good people in Darmiscotta, ME and Wynona, MN realize what we are doing they will flock here. After all, who could be against saving the planet?
Kevin Smith
PS – 2 things
When I moved here from New Jersey I lost my favorite T-shirt. It said
SOUNDS LIKE BULLSHIT TO ME.
Could you help me find another? 2 XX. Dark color.
Carbon Dioxide is a pollutant. If you want to save the planet hold your breath and count ever so slowly to 4,000.
June 28, 2013
Reverend Al Sharpton
MSNBC News
30 Rockefeller Plaza
New York, New York 10112
RE: What in the name of Tawana Brawley and the racist Duke Lacrosse team rapists do Trayvon Martin and Odin Loyd have in common?
Big Al,
They were Black men shot and killed by, according to the New York Times, “white Hispanics”.
I was walking through a super market a while back when I saw a T-shirt being worn by a Black teenager proclaiming
IT’S A BLACK THANG
YOU WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND IT
I asked him to give me a one sentence definition, preferably in the form of a declarative sentence, of thang. He looked at me as if my “nose was being eaten by weevils”. He may have called me a “sorry assed cracker’. He may not have. One thang of which I am certain is that he did not get diction lessons from Paul Robeson records or James Earl Jones movies.
Would it be correct for me to assume that one definition of thang would include the following statement?
ALL WHITE HISPANICS ARE VILE RACIST MURDERERS.
SOME MORE SO THAN OTHERS.
I ask because the murder of a Black man, Odin Loyd, is about to go down the conveniently located memory hole so beloved by modern American Liberals. He is just as dead as Trayvon Martin. He is going to be as dead as long as Trayvon Martin will be dead.
Why is one homicide treated differently than the other? Two white Hispanics meet two Black men and shoot them, correct?
The only difference is one of degree.
White Hispanic George Zimmerman is on trial for 2nd degree murder, if convicted he will not face the death penalty in a state that is quick to hook somebody up and then juice them up, but a very long time in the pokey. White Hispanic Aaron Hernandez will be indicted for 1st degree murder. If convicted of it in a Federal Court he faces the death penalty. If convicted of it in a Massachusetts Court he faces a life sentence with the possibility of a weekend pass a la Willie Horton. [I haven’t heard about him in a long time. How’s Old Willie Boy doing? I heard he was getting an on-line degree in Anger Manangement]
Why no outrage at that?
A jaded, more cynical chronicler might say that the facts would support the interpretation that your outrage is politically and racially motivated in a most jaded and cynical manner. Thank God I am neither jaded nor cynical.
I have admired you since you were trying to get rid of Jewish landlords in Harlem.
What I most admire about you is your ability to get White politicians, White media types, and White mush brained warm and fuzzy wanabees to kiss your ring even when it is in your back pocket.
The picture of you and Caroline Kennedy eating ham hocks and greens in Moms Mabley’s Harlem Chow Joint is, as is said in the credit card commercial, priceless.
My wife and I decided to honor your achievements by naming one of our cats after you – picture [of cat] enclosed.
Sharpton, Sharpie to his friends, gave us 17 great years
May you advance and prosper in whatever your thang is.
KEVIN SMITH
Reverend Al Sharpton
MSNBC News
30 Rockefeller Plaza
New York, New York 10112
RE: What in the name of Tawana Brawley and the racist Duke Lacrosse team rapists do Trayvon Martin and Odin Loyd have in common?
Big Al,
They were Black men shot and killed by, according to the New York Times, “white Hispanics”.
I was walking through a super market a while back when I saw a T-shirt being worn by a Black teenager proclaiming
IT’S A BLACK THANG
YOU WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND IT
I asked him to give me a one sentence definition, preferably in the form of a declarative sentence, of thang. He looked at me as if my “nose was being eaten by weevils”. He may have called me a “sorry assed cracker’. He may not have. One thang of which I am certain is that he did not get diction lessons from Paul Robeson records or James Earl Jones movies.
Would it be correct for me to assume that one definition of thang would include the following statement?
ALL WHITE HISPANICS ARE VILE RACIST MURDERERS.
SOME MORE SO THAN OTHERS.
I ask because the murder of a Black man, Odin Loyd, is about to go down the conveniently located memory hole so beloved by modern American Liberals. He is just as dead as Trayvon Martin. He is going to be as dead as long as Trayvon Martin will be dead.
Why is one homicide treated differently than the other? Two white Hispanics meet two Black men and shoot them, correct?
The only difference is one of degree.
White Hispanic George Zimmerman is on trial for 2nd degree murder, if convicted he will not face the death penalty in a state that is quick to hook somebody up and then juice them up, but a very long time in the pokey. White Hispanic Aaron Hernandez will be indicted for 1st degree murder. If convicted of it in a Federal Court he faces the death penalty. If convicted of it in a Massachusetts Court he faces a life sentence with the possibility of a weekend pass a la Willie Horton. [I haven’t heard about him in a long time. How’s Old Willie Boy doing? I heard he was getting an on-line degree in Anger Manangement]
Why no outrage at that?
A jaded, more cynical chronicler might say that the facts would support the interpretation that your outrage is politically and racially motivated in a most jaded and cynical manner. Thank God I am neither jaded nor cynical.
I have admired you since you were trying to get rid of Jewish landlords in Harlem.
What I most admire about you is your ability to get White politicians, White media types, and White mush brained warm and fuzzy wanabees to kiss your ring even when it is in your back pocket.
The picture of you and Caroline Kennedy eating ham hocks and greens in Moms Mabley’s Harlem Chow Joint is, as is said in the credit card commercial, priceless.
My wife and I decided to honor your achievements by naming one of our cats after you – picture [of cat] enclosed.
Sharpton, Sharpie to his friends, gave us 17 great years
May you advance and prosper in whatever your thang is.
KEVIN SMITH
June 29, 2013
Jack Lew – Secretary of the Treasury
1500 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, D.C. 20220
Mr. Secretary,
Would you be so kind as to send me the home address of Lois Lerner, IRS thug?
I was inspired by the Occupy Wall Street goons who got the home addresses of the corporate weenies from AIG and Citibank. It was inspiring to watch them exercise their First Amendment rights by shitting on their lawn and scaring their kids.
When I go to her house I’ll be wearing a purple shirt. That will convince onlookers that I am in the pay of the SEIU.
Please put a rush on my request. I would like to get there on the hottest, driest day possible as I have some plans for her lawn. One of the serendipitous benefits it that it will lead to s Summer of Recovery, at least in her neighborhood.
Thanking you in advance for your anticipated courtesy, I remain
Respectfully,
Kevin Smith – A courmudgeonly citizen
Jack Lew – Secretary of the Treasury
1500 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, D.C. 20220
Mr. Secretary,
Would you be so kind as to send me the home address of Lois Lerner, IRS thug?
I was inspired by the Occupy Wall Street goons who got the home addresses of the corporate weenies from AIG and Citibank. It was inspiring to watch them exercise their First Amendment rights by shitting on their lawn and scaring their kids.
When I go to her house I’ll be wearing a purple shirt. That will convince onlookers that I am in the pay of the SEIU.
Please put a rush on my request. I would like to get there on the hottest, driest day possible as I have some plans for her lawn. One of the serendipitous benefits it that it will lead to s Summer of Recovery, at least in her neighborhood.
Thanking you in advance for your anticipated courtesy, I remain
Respectfully,
Kevin Smith – A courmudgeonly citizen
Saturday, June 29, 2013
June 27, 2013
Joy-Ann Reid
The Miami Herald
RE: The fight continues…because what would happen should victory be attained is too chilling to contemplate. Some questions and comments on why the glass will never even be half-filled due to the uneven table on which the pouring takes place as reported by you in today’s Miami Herald.
Ms. Reid,
First, I need some help in the Paula Deen brouhaha.
Do you think it would make sense for every White American to answer questions, under oath, about their usage of the dreaded “N” word, the word that White Americans dare not use?
“Are you now or have you ever been a user of the dreaded “N” word, a word that White Americans dare not use”, would be a good opening question.
Each and every White American would be required to come clean under the perjury penalties that the law allows [with no Bill Clinton exceptions] about their past or present usage of the dreaded “N” word, a word that White Americans dare not use.
Trigger was the name of Roy Rogers’ horse. Jigger is a measure used when making cocktails. Chigger is an 8-lessed pest. Digger is the name used by a man who is using a shovel. Bigger, and please excuse the tautology, is bigger than big.
What is the word most commonly used by a certain type of fan at NBA games?
Here’s a hint
Even Paula Deen would not have used it at the Heat/Spurs 7th game.
It is offensive to Logic, a discipline and another one of the jewels of Western Civilization with which you are not familiar, to say that the dreaded “N” word, a word that White Americans dare not use, becomes less dreaded and then OK if it comes from the lips of a non-White American.
The dreaded “N” word, a word that White Americans dare not use is either malum per se or malum prohibitum. It can’t be both.
How would I be able to go to the publicly funded African-American library and ask for a copy of Dick Gregory’s marvelous autobiography? [If you don’t know the title send me a SASE]
How would I be able to get a copy of Nobel Prize winner Joseph Conrad’s marvelous novel bearing the same name? [If you don’t know the name send me a SASE]
Would it be fair to say that if every white American who used the dreaded “N” word, a word that White Americans dare not use, who was also engaged in productive labor, were to be given a one-way ticket to an economic 7th or 8th circle, that the long awaited, hugely anticipated Summer of Recovery would never, never arrive? A whole class of low information Vladimirs and Estragons would be asking why the horizon was receding faster than usual.
You refer to Justice Thomas in less than endearing terms. The one good thing about beginning a sentence with “The irrelevant Clarence Thomas’s sneering call” means that I don’t have to finish said sentence. Thanks for that. If he were to say that “stones are hard and water is wet” you would disagree with both statements in your typical “sneering” way.
Here’s my plan for the partial redemption of the temporal punishment due to Paula Deen for her use of the dreaded “N” word, a word that White Americans dare not use.
Do you remember Julianne Malveaux, and, Jeepers, I can’t tell you how much I miss her, said that she hoped that Clarence Thomas’s wife killed him with food? Cream sauce, carbohydrates on steroids, double fried chicken, sweet potato pie, sausage and biscuit enemas, peach ice cream hair straightener 24 hour, fried pork chop and gravy IVs, - anything to get a phalanx of bad-cholesterol Hoplites to attack and occupy all of his cardiac portals and then, God Inshallah, blow them up the next time he “sneers”?
The idea, while sound, was never implemented properly.
What better person than Paula Deen to take him out?
As a Southern born and raised Black man of a certain age he would secretly want the attention of a White woman like her. His seduction plans would preclude him from questioning why she would want to live with him and cook for him.
After giving him macaroni and cheese back rubs and force feeding him, like a Frog goose, ham hock laden pea soup and she crab stew to an extent that his brains would explode through his nose and ears she would be given a conditional parole. The condition would be that Black Americans, or those who are empowered to use the dreaded “N”, the word that White Americans dare not use would eat for free in any establishment bearing her name.
James Madison, another product of DWEMs [DWEMs? Send a SASE], with whom you are not familiar, said “if men were angels government would not be necessary”. Alas, it is true today as it was when it was written.
As a rising doyenne of the perpetually outraged please tell me if some evil intention could be assigned my recent voting experience.
It took me 107 minutes to vote last November. The usual disabled parking spaces were not available. I have had cancer 3 times. I have congestive heart failure. I have 3 titanium joints. The only part of my aching body that does not have arthritis is my hair which is one of the reasons I keep my glorious beard. I just found out I have COPD. I waited over an hour in the broiling South Florida sun before I could get into the voting building. May I add that the Summer of Recovery is going full steam ahead at the Broward Elections Bureau? [I counted 24 dedicated public servants, doubtless training to implement Obamacare, on the payroll that day.] If I held a mirror up to the ballot it would have made as much sense. That was OK because the machine malfunctioned twice. At a different machine, for my 3rd attempt to cast a ballot, the voting bureaucrat tried to read my selections. I asked if that were a job requirement. She didn’t answer.
Do you think that they were trying to suppress my vote? Do think they were trying to discourage old White Americans, Americans who dare not use the dreaded “N” word from voting? Do you think that the evil Koch Brothers, spawned by the vile Nixonian succubus/incubus cabal, had their fine Italianate hands behind a plot to cause open “racial, regional, generational, urban and rural” warfare?
I must tell you that with skill and cunning and generations of possessing the whip hand I voted. I did not vote for President, as Senator Kennedy called him, Salama Yomama Bahama Osama Obama.
Did he win?
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
PS – Your weekend homework assignment is to dig into the voting records of the Civil Rights legislation of 1964 & 1965. It will shock and amaze you when you find out that the bills passed in the Senate because of – strains of “We shall Overcome” please - Republican support. They were able to overcome a slew of Democratic Senators who since been inducted into the modern American Liberal Hall of Fame voting against both of them. Look it up.
Also, would you consider the abortion of ca. some 28,000,000 Black babies, babies who will never get to hear the dreaded “N” word, the word that White Americans dare not use, to be either genocide or a holocaust? Get back to me.
Joy-Ann Reid
The Miami Herald
RE: The fight continues…because what would happen should victory be attained is too chilling to contemplate. Some questions and comments on why the glass will never even be half-filled due to the uneven table on which the pouring takes place as reported by you in today’s Miami Herald.
Ms. Reid,
First, I need some help in the Paula Deen brouhaha.
Do you think it would make sense for every White American to answer questions, under oath, about their usage of the dreaded “N” word, the word that White Americans dare not use?
“Are you now or have you ever been a user of the dreaded “N” word, a word that White Americans dare not use”, would be a good opening question.
Each and every White American would be required to come clean under the perjury penalties that the law allows [with no Bill Clinton exceptions] about their past or present usage of the dreaded “N” word, a word that White Americans dare not use.
Trigger was the name of Roy Rogers’ horse. Jigger is a measure used when making cocktails. Chigger is an 8-lessed pest. Digger is the name used by a man who is using a shovel. Bigger, and please excuse the tautology, is bigger than big.
What is the word most commonly used by a certain type of fan at NBA games?
Here’s a hint
Even Paula Deen would not have used it at the Heat/Spurs 7th game.
It is offensive to Logic, a discipline and another one of the jewels of Western Civilization with which you are not familiar, to say that the dreaded “N” word, a word that White Americans dare not use, becomes less dreaded and then OK if it comes from the lips of a non-White American.
The dreaded “N” word, a word that White Americans dare not use is either malum per se or malum prohibitum. It can’t be both.
How would I be able to go to the publicly funded African-American library and ask for a copy of Dick Gregory’s marvelous autobiography? [If you don’t know the title send me a SASE]
How would I be able to get a copy of Nobel Prize winner Joseph Conrad’s marvelous novel bearing the same name? [If you don’t know the name send me a SASE]
Would it be fair to say that if every white American who used the dreaded “N” word, a word that White Americans dare not use, who was also engaged in productive labor, were to be given a one-way ticket to an economic 7th or 8th circle, that the long awaited, hugely anticipated Summer of Recovery would never, never arrive? A whole class of low information Vladimirs and Estragons would be asking why the horizon was receding faster than usual.
You refer to Justice Thomas in less than endearing terms. The one good thing about beginning a sentence with “The irrelevant Clarence Thomas’s sneering call” means that I don’t have to finish said sentence. Thanks for that. If he were to say that “stones are hard and water is wet” you would disagree with both statements in your typical “sneering” way.
Here’s my plan for the partial redemption of the temporal punishment due to Paula Deen for her use of the dreaded “N” word, a word that White Americans dare not use.
Do you remember Julianne Malveaux, and, Jeepers, I can’t tell you how much I miss her, said that she hoped that Clarence Thomas’s wife killed him with food? Cream sauce, carbohydrates on steroids, double fried chicken, sweet potato pie, sausage and biscuit enemas, peach ice cream hair straightener 24 hour, fried pork chop and gravy IVs, - anything to get a phalanx of bad-cholesterol Hoplites to attack and occupy all of his cardiac portals and then, God Inshallah, blow them up the next time he “sneers”?
The idea, while sound, was never implemented properly.
What better person than Paula Deen to take him out?
As a Southern born and raised Black man of a certain age he would secretly want the attention of a White woman like her. His seduction plans would preclude him from questioning why she would want to live with him and cook for him.
After giving him macaroni and cheese back rubs and force feeding him, like a Frog goose, ham hock laden pea soup and she crab stew to an extent that his brains would explode through his nose and ears she would be given a conditional parole. The condition would be that Black Americans, or those who are empowered to use the dreaded “N”, the word that White Americans dare not use would eat for free in any establishment bearing her name.
James Madison, another product of DWEMs [DWEMs? Send a SASE], with whom you are not familiar, said “if men were angels government would not be necessary”. Alas, it is true today as it was when it was written.
As a rising doyenne of the perpetually outraged please tell me if some evil intention could be assigned my recent voting experience.
It took me 107 minutes to vote last November. The usual disabled parking spaces were not available. I have had cancer 3 times. I have congestive heart failure. I have 3 titanium joints. The only part of my aching body that does not have arthritis is my hair which is one of the reasons I keep my glorious beard. I just found out I have COPD. I waited over an hour in the broiling South Florida sun before I could get into the voting building. May I add that the Summer of Recovery is going full steam ahead at the Broward Elections Bureau? [I counted 24 dedicated public servants, doubtless training to implement Obamacare, on the payroll that day.] If I held a mirror up to the ballot it would have made as much sense. That was OK because the machine malfunctioned twice. At a different machine, for my 3rd attempt to cast a ballot, the voting bureaucrat tried to read my selections. I asked if that were a job requirement. She didn’t answer.
Do you think that they were trying to suppress my vote? Do think they were trying to discourage old White Americans, Americans who dare not use the dreaded “N” word from voting? Do you think that the evil Koch Brothers, spawned by the vile Nixonian succubus/incubus cabal, had their fine Italianate hands behind a plot to cause open “racial, regional, generational, urban and rural” warfare?
I must tell you that with skill and cunning and generations of possessing the whip hand I voted. I did not vote for President, as Senator Kennedy called him, Salama Yomama Bahama Osama Obama.
Did he win?
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
PS – Your weekend homework assignment is to dig into the voting records of the Civil Rights legislation of 1964 & 1965. It will shock and amaze you when you find out that the bills passed in the Senate because of – strains of “We shall Overcome” please - Republican support. They were able to overcome a slew of Democratic Senators who since been inducted into the modern American Liberal Hall of Fame voting against both of them. Look it up.
Also, would you consider the abortion of ca. some 28,000,000 Black babies, babies who will never get to hear the dreaded “N” word, the word that White Americans dare not use, to be either genocide or a holocaust? Get back to me.
June 25, 2013
Cheryl S. Gonzales
Equal Opportunity and Diversity Director
University of North Florida
1 UNF Drive
Jacksonville, FL 32224
RE: Jabberwocky or obfuscatory persiflage? – As Homer Simpson says, “Don’t make me choose.” Some comments on your astonishingly vacuous op-ed piece in today’s Miami Herald.
Ms. Gonzales,
If I were to argue that a place should have been set aside for a bearded, curmudgeonly, calorically and follicley challenged, gimpy, literate, old White guy on the Miami Heat would you think poorly of me? I have been White a lot longer than the guy with the tattoos. I can play basketball just as hard as Lebron James; I just can’t play it as well. Do you think that should have kept me off the team?
I must confess that in 1997 I was pursued by several public agencies – the Broward Board of Education, Broward County, Tri-Rail, the City of Fort Lauderdale, and at least 4 state agencies – to assist in my Quixotically larcenous quest to get a big bite of the allocated portion of the minority business pie.
Once I put my toe in the pool I was besieged by earnest, hard-working civil servants, all of whom were desperately trying to tell me how I could weld my ravenous lips to the eternally lactating public mammary. The only possible rational explanation for why the Establishment leaves the cash box open and invites all sorts of brigands and villains to come and grab as many Benjamins as they can carry is White guilt. Somewhere out there is a generic White group saying ”take enough taxpayers’ money, and I’ll help you take it, to make me feel less guilty about our grandfathers being such rotters. Also execute that “white Hispanic” George Zimmerman just after drawing and quartering Paula Deen.” That’s another way to level the playing field.
Back then I found 3 ladies whose charms were such that they convinced me to front them in the application process for minority status. Because of their difficulty in peeing standing up they were “entitled” to preferential treatment in the awarding of public contracts.
I tip-toed up to the edge of perjury but went no further.
I cherish those memories. Who knows? If the venture had gone forward I would have considered being ungendered in order to become regendered.
“With vim and vigor the council supports
infusing Florida’s economic development
with a diversity and inclusion paradigm.”
The Miami Herald
Today
You
God’s Holy Trousers! Is that how adults sound these days? The really scary part is that you believe this drivel. Worse, you are in a position to influence others and to infuse your diversity and inclusion paradigm with a daylight raid on the public treasury. That you will do this with both vim and vigor there can be no doubt.
I am reading your screed for the 3rd time. I have already held it up to a mirror thinking perhaps there was an extra meaning. I am too old to be disappointed but I was. It may actually make more sense when it is completely unreadable.
You say that we have to “align legislation and policy”. Is that another way of saying you want the trains to run on time?
You say we should “support Florida’s microenterprises as part of the small business economic development continuum”. At last we know where Professor Irwin Corey went. He is alive and well and babbling non-stop at the University of North Florida. Perhaps you are a fan of Tanqueray, a big fan of Tanqueray, before you start your assault on clear prose. Whenever you have an urge to write you should be made to wear boxing gloves
You mention “private placements”. The ones that I am familiar with began with an idea that attracted money. The people putting the money in weighed and accepted the risk of losing it all. At the very least they were looking for a return that would rival Croesus. Is that what you had in mind?
What in the name of Peter Drucker is a “business inclusion lens”? Can they be done in a same day surgery clinic? Will they be covered by Obamacare?
Hercules had to re-route a river to complete one of his tasks. Thank God the North Pole is melting – Sorry about that, polar bears, but every cloud has a silver lining. It is good news for the adorable baby seals, Winners and losers. That may be God’s plan – because you will need an ocean to cleanse out your stables.
You mention 5 different groups who will assist you in your thankless task. Assuming that each of them has an office and someone to answer the phone can you tell me how they pay their expenses? What is the source of their income? Is it the beginning of the elusive Summer of Recovery?
Believe me when I say my contempt is not personal. I wasn’t sure if jabberwocky or obfuscatory persiflage best described your article.
Neither word is sufficient to the task.
It’s time to bring up the siege guns, the heavy artillery. It’s time for one of the great words in the English language.
BULLSHIT
Kevin Smith
Cheryl S. Gonzales
Equal Opportunity and Diversity Director
University of North Florida
1 UNF Drive
Jacksonville, FL 32224
RE: Jabberwocky or obfuscatory persiflage? – As Homer Simpson says, “Don’t make me choose.” Some comments on your astonishingly vacuous op-ed piece in today’s Miami Herald.
Ms. Gonzales,
If I were to argue that a place should have been set aside for a bearded, curmudgeonly, calorically and follicley challenged, gimpy, literate, old White guy on the Miami Heat would you think poorly of me? I have been White a lot longer than the guy with the tattoos. I can play basketball just as hard as Lebron James; I just can’t play it as well. Do you think that should have kept me off the team?
I must confess that in 1997 I was pursued by several public agencies – the Broward Board of Education, Broward County, Tri-Rail, the City of Fort Lauderdale, and at least 4 state agencies – to assist in my Quixotically larcenous quest to get a big bite of the allocated portion of the minority business pie.
Once I put my toe in the pool I was besieged by earnest, hard-working civil servants, all of whom were desperately trying to tell me how I could weld my ravenous lips to the eternally lactating public mammary. The only possible rational explanation for why the Establishment leaves the cash box open and invites all sorts of brigands and villains to come and grab as many Benjamins as they can carry is White guilt. Somewhere out there is a generic White group saying ”take enough taxpayers’ money, and I’ll help you take it, to make me feel less guilty about our grandfathers being such rotters. Also execute that “white Hispanic” George Zimmerman just after drawing and quartering Paula Deen.” That’s another way to level the playing field.
Back then I found 3 ladies whose charms were such that they convinced me to front them in the application process for minority status. Because of their difficulty in peeing standing up they were “entitled” to preferential treatment in the awarding of public contracts.
I tip-toed up to the edge of perjury but went no further.
I cherish those memories. Who knows? If the venture had gone forward I would have considered being ungendered in order to become regendered.
“With vim and vigor the council supports
infusing Florida’s economic development
with a diversity and inclusion paradigm.”
The Miami Herald
Today
You
God’s Holy Trousers! Is that how adults sound these days? The really scary part is that you believe this drivel. Worse, you are in a position to influence others and to infuse your diversity and inclusion paradigm with a daylight raid on the public treasury. That you will do this with both vim and vigor there can be no doubt.
I am reading your screed for the 3rd time. I have already held it up to a mirror thinking perhaps there was an extra meaning. I am too old to be disappointed but I was. It may actually make more sense when it is completely unreadable.
You say that we have to “align legislation and policy”. Is that another way of saying you want the trains to run on time?
You say we should “support Florida’s microenterprises as part of the small business economic development continuum”. At last we know where Professor Irwin Corey went. He is alive and well and babbling non-stop at the University of North Florida. Perhaps you are a fan of Tanqueray, a big fan of Tanqueray, before you start your assault on clear prose. Whenever you have an urge to write you should be made to wear boxing gloves
You mention “private placements”. The ones that I am familiar with began with an idea that attracted money. The people putting the money in weighed and accepted the risk of losing it all. At the very least they were looking for a return that would rival Croesus. Is that what you had in mind?
What in the name of Peter Drucker is a “business inclusion lens”? Can they be done in a same day surgery clinic? Will they be covered by Obamacare?
Hercules had to re-route a river to complete one of his tasks. Thank God the North Pole is melting – Sorry about that, polar bears, but every cloud has a silver lining. It is good news for the adorable baby seals, Winners and losers. That may be God’s plan – because you will need an ocean to cleanse out your stables.
You mention 5 different groups who will assist you in your thankless task. Assuming that each of them has an office and someone to answer the phone can you tell me how they pay their expenses? What is the source of their income? Is it the beginning of the elusive Summer of Recovery?
Believe me when I say my contempt is not personal. I wasn’t sure if jabberwocky or obfuscatory persiflage best described your article.
Neither word is sufficient to the task.
It’s time to bring up the siege guns, the heavy artillery. It’s time for one of the great words in the English language.
BULLSHIT
Kevin Smith
Monday, June 24, 2013
June 23, 2013
Michael Putney
The Miami Herald
Yes, Jimmy Carter, and whenever I write or say his name I am compelled by a “decent respect to the opinions of mankind” to proclaim that he was the worst President of the 20th century, did send his daughter to a D.C. public grammar school.
3 things about Carter:
#1 – He was so inept that he made the passage to the great Reagan inevitable.
#2 – Thank God he didn’t get to nominate any Supreme Court Justices.
#3 – Dwayne Andreas, CEO of ADM and the first American to meet Gorbachev, bought Carter’s peanut operation for $6,000,000. I understand that a majority of the transaction was the assumption of debt. Thus, a public company was able to get a “marker” on an ex-President for chump change, for, forgive me, peanuts. The company long ago marked it to zero and claimed a tax loss. Carter should be flogged.
I knew and worked with the “secret Jewish millionaire” – according to the NY Post - who financed Carter’s campaign in Nassau and Suffolk. By 1980 his wife said if you see him for lunch don’t come home for dinner. He chose his wife.
The DC Teachers’ Union did Rhee in. Now what?
The Democrats controlled both Houses of Congress in 2009 and 2010. How did they stop him from expanding his “rainbow stew” menu?
My father’s first job was shoveling coal into a furnace when he was 15.
He went to high school when he was 26.
When he died he was a Judge
My mother was 68b when he died. She lived in what can only be called “comfortable circumstances” until she was 95.
How much should she have given up to help Obama “spread the wealth around”?
How much should you give up? Since I am in perpetual “disfavor with fortune and men’s eyes” I am precluded from making any monetary contributions. Rest assured that my prayers and best wishes are always with those who are “unlucky in life’s lottery”. Speaking of “fairness”, how much of your “little tin box” are you willing to part with, short of becoming a discalced mendicant who thinks Mother Teresa runs a resort, to tip the scales in the eternal quest for “fairness”?
One of my favorite lines, from one of my favorite guys, the legendary Big Mike from Bayonne, a noted saloon keeper, a famous sportsman, and now a dedicated public servant, is “What a country! That’s why you never see anybody swimming TO Cuba!
The “struggling middle class” is forced to struggle more than normally because the government, supposedly their government, is in fierce competition with them.
If raising taxes is “fair” would not Logic dictate that a tax rate of 105% would be the fairest of all?
Are there any rational adults out there who still think that Obamacare, enforced by the IRS and regulated by the best of the Post Office, will reduce medical costs? If they were women they would be perpetually pregnant.
Let’s give the Heat an A, the Marlins an F, and the Dolphins an incomplete. It sure as Hell beats Cleveland. The people of Miami/Dade County are only indentured for about $900,000,000. One Hell of a trade.
Will this be the year of “The Summer of Recovery”? If not now, when?
Are the Mandarin moneylenders still smiling?
I am going back to Vivaldi.
KS
Michael Putney
The Miami Herald
Yes, Jimmy Carter, and whenever I write or say his name I am compelled by a “decent respect to the opinions of mankind” to proclaim that he was the worst President of the 20th century, did send his daughter to a D.C. public grammar school.
3 things about Carter:
#1 – He was so inept that he made the passage to the great Reagan inevitable.
#2 – Thank God he didn’t get to nominate any Supreme Court Justices.
#3 – Dwayne Andreas, CEO of ADM and the first American to meet Gorbachev, bought Carter’s peanut operation for $6,000,000. I understand that a majority of the transaction was the assumption of debt. Thus, a public company was able to get a “marker” on an ex-President for chump change, for, forgive me, peanuts. The company long ago marked it to zero and claimed a tax loss. Carter should be flogged.
I knew and worked with the “secret Jewish millionaire” – according to the NY Post - who financed Carter’s campaign in Nassau and Suffolk. By 1980 his wife said if you see him for lunch don’t come home for dinner. He chose his wife.
The DC Teachers’ Union did Rhee in. Now what?
The Democrats controlled both Houses of Congress in 2009 and 2010. How did they stop him from expanding his “rainbow stew” menu?
My father’s first job was shoveling coal into a furnace when he was 15.
He went to high school when he was 26.
When he died he was a Judge
My mother was 68b when he died. She lived in what can only be called “comfortable circumstances” until she was 95.
How much should she have given up to help Obama “spread the wealth around”?
How much should you give up? Since I am in perpetual “disfavor with fortune and men’s eyes” I am precluded from making any monetary contributions. Rest assured that my prayers and best wishes are always with those who are “unlucky in life’s lottery”. Speaking of “fairness”, how much of your “little tin box” are you willing to part with, short of becoming a discalced mendicant who thinks Mother Teresa runs a resort, to tip the scales in the eternal quest for “fairness”?
One of my favorite lines, from one of my favorite guys, the legendary Big Mike from Bayonne, a noted saloon keeper, a famous sportsman, and now a dedicated public servant, is “What a country! That’s why you never see anybody swimming TO Cuba!
The “struggling middle class” is forced to struggle more than normally because the government, supposedly their government, is in fierce competition with them.
If raising taxes is “fair” would not Logic dictate that a tax rate of 105% would be the fairest of all?
Are there any rational adults out there who still think that Obamacare, enforced by the IRS and regulated by the best of the Post Office, will reduce medical costs? If they were women they would be perpetually pregnant.
Let’s give the Heat an A, the Marlins an F, and the Dolphins an incomplete. It sure as Hell beats Cleveland. The people of Miami/Dade County are only indentured for about $900,000,000. One Hell of a trade.
Will this be the year of “The Summer of Recovery”? If not now, when?
Are the Mandarin moneylenders still smiling?
I am going back to Vivaldi.
KS
Sunday, June 23, 2013
June 22, 2013
Margaret Carlson
Bloomberg News
1399 New York Avenue
Washington, DC 20005
RE: I’m baaaack! Just a few questions about Wonder Woman. It has been some time, say 2 millennia, since I’ve seen anybody walk that well on water.
Ms. Carlson,
What with her “I saw the elephant” moment when she did the tarmac serpentine 2 step after mistaking Serbian thunder for Serbian mortar fire – and a quick deo gratias for her wearing dark pants that day – I doubt that she would say that American military personnel serving overseas were tax cheats. As she herself said, “What difference does it make anyway”?
The picture of her walking off the stage after making the blind see and the silly get their guffaws under control indicates that if she should fail in her quest to hit the reset button when she gets the 3:00 AM wakeup call in the Lincoln bedroom she will have a successful career on QVC as the shill for Spandex. She’s about 2 or 3 crème brulees away from having an ass like a bass drum. “She Got a Pair of Hips Just Like 2 Battleships” may yet be #1 again. She may yet make cellulite popular.
On the other hand, since she was the poster girl for publically abused chicks in the 1990s, it would be poetic justice if she were to have at least one afternoon in the Oval Office with a Brad Pitt or George Clooney underneath the desk giving her “a bit of the gobble”. If she wants Monica that’s OK too.
On to business. As a big time media mogul maybe you could help me.
#1 – I can’t get a copy of her senior thesis. She wrote about Saul Alinsky. Alinsky inspired Bill Ayres who proudly proclaims that he blew up a few Federal buildings back in the good old days. Also, he gave us the Chicago School of Politics. Rule #1 is the admonition about never bringing knives to gun fights.
I would like to read what she says about him.
#2 – She was hired by the largest law firm in Little Rock, Arkansas, a title surpassed only by being named the 3rd tallest building in Wichita, Kansas, the day after her husband was elected Attorney General of Arkansas.
She was made a partner in the largest law firm in Little Rock, Arkansas - visions of the gala festivities of the Final Four weekend of the World’s Tallest Midget contest cloud my vision – the day after her husband was elected Governor of Arkansas.
Coincidence? It’s possible. Jeeves told Bertie that they happen as often as “finding a trout in the milk”. Still, the possibility exists. Could you help me find some of the shards that surely resulted when she hurled herself through that legendary glass ceiling?
#3 – In re her time as an associate and partner at the largest law firm in Little Rock, Arkansas could you tell me how many Federal cases, either civil or criminal she argued? Could you tell me of any cases or issues she argued before any Federal Appellate Court? Could you tell me of any issues or cases she argued before the Supreme Court of the United States? Could you tell me of any mergers or acquisitions she assisted in when she was an associate or partner at the largest law firm in Little Rock, Arkansas?
#4 – This is a chicken or egg question. I am sure you can answer it.
Was Wal-Mart a bad company when she was named an outside director? Did she try to make it a good company and, realizing she couldn’t do it, resign in protest? Was it a neutral company that went bad after she left it? Was it ever a good company?
Would I need 7 League boots to span the chasm that says she got the job because Wal-Mart is based in Bentonville, Arkansas and her husband was the Governor of Arkansas? Even though, based on public records, their pillow time was limited she could whisper something about widening the bridge or narrowing the regulatory authority of some forgotten state agency while he was changing his drawers and getting a new bottle of cologne, couldn’t she?
There have been persistent rumors that when Handsome Billy was dipping his wick in Bug Fug, Arkansas she and Vince Foster, also a partner in the largest law firm in Little Rock, Arkansas were doing the 2 step discovery horizontal tango in the conference room. Assuming they did, and assuming it was consensual “what difference does it make” would very much apply. My only question is whether or not they were billing clients while they were “magic momenting” each other. Get back to me on that, please.
#5 – Is there any possibility she would employ the services of her commodities broker, the famous “Red Bone”? I remember how she read the Wall Street Journal and used him to run $1,000 into $100,000 buying cattle futures. With numbers like that she could turn the deficit into a surplus by the end of Lent in her first term.
#6 – Unless the transaction is cash something called a mortgage is attached to the purchase and sale of real property. Still the best definition is the old one that says “a mortgage is a personal loan secured by a lien on real property”. In the event that the borrower defaults the lender goes through a process called foreclosure. At some point in this process the borrower has the right to appear before a Judge. This could be called “due process”. It is an old system, one honed by time and custom, that gives the appearance both of Justice being done and, more importantly, being seen to be done.
In the matter of the Whitewater Development Company undeveloped parcels of land in rural Arkansas were sold, mostly to low information buyers. The paper work involved was known as a time-sales contract.
I shant bore you with the Rule of 78 or the sum of the digits in figuring out the minutiae of those agreements. Let’s say you buy a car from Big Al. You owe him $500 a month for 36 months. 35 months into the deal you break a leg and can’t pay him. He sends his nephew, Really Big Al, to your house with a tow truck, He hooks it and repos his car. Even though you had been driving it and paying for it for almost 3 years it never belonged to you.
You never get to tell any Judge anything.
You would imagine, you would be mistaken if you did, that somewhere in the largest law firm in Little Rock, Arkansas one little voice would have said “Yes, we have the right to do this but is it right to do it? We are not dealing with sophisticated investors here, are we”?
There is no record of that voice ever being heard.
That’s what “Wide-Bottomed Hillary” did to the untermenschen of Arkansas.
It still stinks. For that, and for that alone, the woman should be flogged.
But wait, There’s more.
#7 – Should she become Queen/Empress will there be a spot at court for Web Hubbell? How about Ira Magaziner? Craig Livingstone? Harold Ickes? Lani Guinier? Sidney Blumenthal? Will her brothers be back peddling pardons? God, but I miss them.
Will Denise Rich get to give Big Bill private saxophone lessons like she did before he pardoned her husband?
The last one is simple.
How did her family know to name her after the guy who climbed Mt. Everest 4 years before he did it?
Kevin Smith
Margaret Carlson
Bloomberg News
1399 New York Avenue
Washington, DC 20005
RE: I’m baaaack! Just a few questions about Wonder Woman. It has been some time, say 2 millennia, since I’ve seen anybody walk that well on water.
Ms. Carlson,
What with her “I saw the elephant” moment when she did the tarmac serpentine 2 step after mistaking Serbian thunder for Serbian mortar fire – and a quick deo gratias for her wearing dark pants that day – I doubt that she would say that American military personnel serving overseas were tax cheats. As she herself said, “What difference does it make anyway”?
The picture of her walking off the stage after making the blind see and the silly get their guffaws under control indicates that if she should fail in her quest to hit the reset button when she gets the 3:00 AM wakeup call in the Lincoln bedroom she will have a successful career on QVC as the shill for Spandex. She’s about 2 or 3 crème brulees away from having an ass like a bass drum. “She Got a Pair of Hips Just Like 2 Battleships” may yet be #1 again. She may yet make cellulite popular.
On the other hand, since she was the poster girl for publically abused chicks in the 1990s, it would be poetic justice if she were to have at least one afternoon in the Oval Office with a Brad Pitt or George Clooney underneath the desk giving her “a bit of the gobble”. If she wants Monica that’s OK too.
On to business. As a big time media mogul maybe you could help me.
#1 – I can’t get a copy of her senior thesis. She wrote about Saul Alinsky. Alinsky inspired Bill Ayres who proudly proclaims that he blew up a few Federal buildings back in the good old days. Also, he gave us the Chicago School of Politics. Rule #1 is the admonition about never bringing knives to gun fights.
I would like to read what she says about him.
#2 – She was hired by the largest law firm in Little Rock, Arkansas, a title surpassed only by being named the 3rd tallest building in Wichita, Kansas, the day after her husband was elected Attorney General of Arkansas.
She was made a partner in the largest law firm in Little Rock, Arkansas - visions of the gala festivities of the Final Four weekend of the World’s Tallest Midget contest cloud my vision – the day after her husband was elected Governor of Arkansas.
Coincidence? It’s possible. Jeeves told Bertie that they happen as often as “finding a trout in the milk”. Still, the possibility exists. Could you help me find some of the shards that surely resulted when she hurled herself through that legendary glass ceiling?
#3 – In re her time as an associate and partner at the largest law firm in Little Rock, Arkansas could you tell me how many Federal cases, either civil or criminal she argued? Could you tell me of any cases or issues she argued before any Federal Appellate Court? Could you tell me of any issues or cases she argued before the Supreme Court of the United States? Could you tell me of any mergers or acquisitions she assisted in when she was an associate or partner at the largest law firm in Little Rock, Arkansas?
#4 – This is a chicken or egg question. I am sure you can answer it.
Was Wal-Mart a bad company when she was named an outside director? Did she try to make it a good company and, realizing she couldn’t do it, resign in protest? Was it a neutral company that went bad after she left it? Was it ever a good company?
Would I need 7 League boots to span the chasm that says she got the job because Wal-Mart is based in Bentonville, Arkansas and her husband was the Governor of Arkansas? Even though, based on public records, their pillow time was limited she could whisper something about widening the bridge or narrowing the regulatory authority of some forgotten state agency while he was changing his drawers and getting a new bottle of cologne, couldn’t she?
There have been persistent rumors that when Handsome Billy was dipping his wick in Bug Fug, Arkansas she and Vince Foster, also a partner in the largest law firm in Little Rock, Arkansas were doing the 2 step discovery horizontal tango in the conference room. Assuming they did, and assuming it was consensual “what difference does it make” would very much apply. My only question is whether or not they were billing clients while they were “magic momenting” each other. Get back to me on that, please.
#5 – Is there any possibility she would employ the services of her commodities broker, the famous “Red Bone”? I remember how she read the Wall Street Journal and used him to run $1,000 into $100,000 buying cattle futures. With numbers like that she could turn the deficit into a surplus by the end of Lent in her first term.
#6 – Unless the transaction is cash something called a mortgage is attached to the purchase and sale of real property. Still the best definition is the old one that says “a mortgage is a personal loan secured by a lien on real property”. In the event that the borrower defaults the lender goes through a process called foreclosure. At some point in this process the borrower has the right to appear before a Judge. This could be called “due process”. It is an old system, one honed by time and custom, that gives the appearance both of Justice being done and, more importantly, being seen to be done.
In the matter of the Whitewater Development Company undeveloped parcels of land in rural Arkansas were sold, mostly to low information buyers. The paper work involved was known as a time-sales contract.
I shant bore you with the Rule of 78 or the sum of the digits in figuring out the minutiae of those agreements. Let’s say you buy a car from Big Al. You owe him $500 a month for 36 months. 35 months into the deal you break a leg and can’t pay him. He sends his nephew, Really Big Al, to your house with a tow truck, He hooks it and repos his car. Even though you had been driving it and paying for it for almost 3 years it never belonged to you.
You never get to tell any Judge anything.
You would imagine, you would be mistaken if you did, that somewhere in the largest law firm in Little Rock, Arkansas one little voice would have said “Yes, we have the right to do this but is it right to do it? We are not dealing with sophisticated investors here, are we”?
There is no record of that voice ever being heard.
That’s what “Wide-Bottomed Hillary” did to the untermenschen of Arkansas.
It still stinks. For that, and for that alone, the woman should be flogged.
But wait, There’s more.
#7 – Should she become Queen/Empress will there be a spot at court for Web Hubbell? How about Ira Magaziner? Craig Livingstone? Harold Ickes? Lani Guinier? Sidney Blumenthal? Will her brothers be back peddling pardons? God, but I miss them.
Will Denise Rich get to give Big Bill private saxophone lessons like she did before he pardoned her husband?
The last one is simple.
How did her family know to name her after the guy who climbed Mt. Everest 4 years before he did it?
Kevin Smith
June 21, 2013
Stephen L. Goldstein
The Sun Sentinel
RE: “All them corn fields and ballet at night” – Why the eternal quest, a quest led by boobs, boobs such as you, who “knavishly set traps for fools”, who think the laws governing gravity should be repealed because they are so unfair, is writ large in your typically unctuously oleaginous head so far up your ass column that you could give yourself a rhinoplasty from the inside, about how good government is the end game of History or, if it isn’t, should be, in today’s Sun Sentinel is worthy of comment
My dear Professor,
The Alien & Sedition Acts
The Palmer Raids
The NRA “Blue Eagle”
HUAC
The War on Poverty
Midnight Basketball
I know you’re asking. What in the name of the world renowned efficiency of state run Motor Vehicle Agencies do they have in common?
They are, as you say, the results of a “relevant, effective and responsive government”, one that “shines”, one that is – Background music from “Hair”, please – the dawn of the “Age of Good Government”.
No autopsy of your absolutely asinine, vacuous, perpetually fact challenged apologia for never ending nit-witism would be complete without your flogging through the fleet condemnation of “selfish profiteers [and] mega-business hoarders of trillions of dollars”. Is there any chance you mean George Soros? Just asking.
“European economies have been self-destructing by adhering to austerity programs that don’t work” is an example of why Fifth Amendment protection should be extended to card carrying, fire breathing, publically preaching modern American Liberals lest they be subject to the Baker Act.
Anyone, you for instance, who believes that the European economy, one that most resembles a Sunday morning bout with the dry heaves, is caused by “austerity” must also believe that umbrellas cause rain.
All of the examples I gave occurred in administrations that lived by and swore allegiance to the advantages of “Big Government”. Honest. You could look it up.
“Sooner or later the pendulum will fully swing.”
And when that “pendulum” swings back with Poe-like precision to where you want it to be to whom can I complain to if the trains – high speed, powered by bovine eructations ensuring an environmentally sensitivity so profound that Ned Lud would be proud – don’t run on time?
June 22, 2013
As I was about to electronically post this note – and can we ever thank Al Gore enough for inventing the Internet? I certainly can’t. It’s almost enough to make me forget about him selling out to the WOG terrorists. Almost. – I asked how is it possible for ohmadahns to gain a pulpit from which to say things that are offensive to both Logic and History.
One possible answer is that “Only Allah can weave a perfect rug”. Come to think of it, Allah ain’t so Akbar anymore, is she?
Perhaps people “can go broke underestimating the taste of the American public”.
The Sun Sentinel is in bankruptcy. The New York Times loses $1,000,000,000 on the Boston Globe and survives on the sufferance of a true Frito Bandido, cook books, and re-runs of the Discovery Channel. Newsweek just disappears. Poof. Gone. No footprints. Who knows? Maybe Drudge was right.
The 25 century long striving of Western Man [both words purposely chosen] for freedom has one common thread running through it.
The Hellenes in the agora knew that the worst form of government was mob rule, AKA democracy. Further, they and the Romans knew that whoever they picked to be in charge they would have to bind him by law and custom so that the res publica could survive.
The people came to realize that their rights, “certain inalienable rights”, were theirs at birth and that they “came from beyond the stars”. They were not granted by a benevolent government. If they had been then the next government, perhaps not so benevolent, could take them away.
Freedom’s song is sung most loudly against government, be it good or bad, big or small.
I am going to fast forward to the brutally hot summer of 1787 in Philadelphia. Who knows? It may have been the start of Global Warming.
It may be counted as a minor proof of God’s existence that a bunch of literate curmudgeons, and yes, they were all White and yes, some of them owned slaves and yes, some of them would have a drink or two with you and yes, some of them had zipper trouble before zippers had been invented, produced the Constitution, a document that is the envy of mankind to this day. It is why you never see anyone swimming towards Cuba.
It came in 2 parts.
The first part says what government can do.
Things like issuing letters of marque and reprisal, things like guaranteeing each state a Republican form of government, things like capturing and punishing pirates, and things like protecting each state from invasion by a foreign power. Good things; all spelled out.
The second part says what government cannot do.
There is a magic moment in the “Law and Order” series.
The detectives are about to get the lowlife to “give it up”. The door opens and an ordinary guy says “Stop”! Everything stops. Most specifically, the government stops. Something called “due process” kicks in. The guy with the spotlight shining in his eyes doesn’t have to prove he didn’t do it. The state has to prove “beyond a reasonable doubt” that he did it. It must convince 12 of his fellow citizens that he indeed did it.
It worked for O.J. Simpson. It may work for George Zimmerman assuming he can overcome the burden of being “a white Hispanic” according to the New York Times.
Either way the Republic will survive.
Edmund Burke, and I shudder when I realize that you have no idea of who he was or what he wrote, said that the perpetual conflict in any society is always between order and freedom,
I fear that your paradigmatic template, one that is shared by all modern American Liberals, of what a government should do is based on the scribblings of John Rawls. If so, it becomes the horizon. It can never be reached. The result is simple.
In theory the electorate is always looking for more. More stuff, more respect, more attention, more favors. More. More.
In practice you get Detroit.
Chicago has more people being killed by gunfire than Baghdad.
We are told the NRA is to blame.
“How small, of all that human hearts endure,
That part which laws or kings can cause or cure.”
Happy days are still not here again.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Stephen L. Goldstein
The Sun Sentinel
RE: “All them corn fields and ballet at night” – Why the eternal quest, a quest led by boobs, boobs such as you, who “knavishly set traps for fools”, who think the laws governing gravity should be repealed because they are so unfair, is writ large in your typically unctuously oleaginous head so far up your ass column that you could give yourself a rhinoplasty from the inside, about how good government is the end game of History or, if it isn’t, should be, in today’s Sun Sentinel is worthy of comment
My dear Professor,
The Alien & Sedition Acts
The Palmer Raids
The NRA “Blue Eagle”
HUAC
The War on Poverty
Midnight Basketball
I know you’re asking. What in the name of the world renowned efficiency of state run Motor Vehicle Agencies do they have in common?
They are, as you say, the results of a “relevant, effective and responsive government”, one that “shines”, one that is – Background music from “Hair”, please – the dawn of the “Age of Good Government”.
No autopsy of your absolutely asinine, vacuous, perpetually fact challenged apologia for never ending nit-witism would be complete without your flogging through the fleet condemnation of “selfish profiteers [and] mega-business hoarders of trillions of dollars”. Is there any chance you mean George Soros? Just asking.
“European economies have been self-destructing by adhering to austerity programs that don’t work” is an example of why Fifth Amendment protection should be extended to card carrying, fire breathing, publically preaching modern American Liberals lest they be subject to the Baker Act.
Anyone, you for instance, who believes that the European economy, one that most resembles a Sunday morning bout with the dry heaves, is caused by “austerity” must also believe that umbrellas cause rain.
All of the examples I gave occurred in administrations that lived by and swore allegiance to the advantages of “Big Government”. Honest. You could look it up.
“Sooner or later the pendulum will fully swing.”
And when that “pendulum” swings back with Poe-like precision to where you want it to be to whom can I complain to if the trains – high speed, powered by bovine eructations ensuring an environmentally sensitivity so profound that Ned Lud would be proud – don’t run on time?
June 22, 2013
As I was about to electronically post this note – and can we ever thank Al Gore enough for inventing the Internet? I certainly can’t. It’s almost enough to make me forget about him selling out to the WOG terrorists. Almost. – I asked how is it possible for ohmadahns to gain a pulpit from which to say things that are offensive to both Logic and History.
One possible answer is that “Only Allah can weave a perfect rug”. Come to think of it, Allah ain’t so Akbar anymore, is she?
Perhaps people “can go broke underestimating the taste of the American public”.
The Sun Sentinel is in bankruptcy. The New York Times loses $1,000,000,000 on the Boston Globe and survives on the sufferance of a true Frito Bandido, cook books, and re-runs of the Discovery Channel. Newsweek just disappears. Poof. Gone. No footprints. Who knows? Maybe Drudge was right.
The 25 century long striving of Western Man [both words purposely chosen] for freedom has one common thread running through it.
The Hellenes in the agora knew that the worst form of government was mob rule, AKA democracy. Further, they and the Romans knew that whoever they picked to be in charge they would have to bind him by law and custom so that the res publica could survive.
The people came to realize that their rights, “certain inalienable rights”, were theirs at birth and that they “came from beyond the stars”. They were not granted by a benevolent government. If they had been then the next government, perhaps not so benevolent, could take them away.
Freedom’s song is sung most loudly against government, be it good or bad, big or small.
I am going to fast forward to the brutally hot summer of 1787 in Philadelphia. Who knows? It may have been the start of Global Warming.
It may be counted as a minor proof of God’s existence that a bunch of literate curmudgeons, and yes, they were all White and yes, some of them owned slaves and yes, some of them would have a drink or two with you and yes, some of them had zipper trouble before zippers had been invented, produced the Constitution, a document that is the envy of mankind to this day. It is why you never see anyone swimming towards Cuba.
It came in 2 parts.
The first part says what government can do.
Things like issuing letters of marque and reprisal, things like guaranteeing each state a Republican form of government, things like capturing and punishing pirates, and things like protecting each state from invasion by a foreign power. Good things; all spelled out.
The second part says what government cannot do.
There is a magic moment in the “Law and Order” series.
The detectives are about to get the lowlife to “give it up”. The door opens and an ordinary guy says “Stop”! Everything stops. Most specifically, the government stops. Something called “due process” kicks in. The guy with the spotlight shining in his eyes doesn’t have to prove he didn’t do it. The state has to prove “beyond a reasonable doubt” that he did it. It must convince 12 of his fellow citizens that he indeed did it.
It worked for O.J. Simpson. It may work for George Zimmerman assuming he can overcome the burden of being “a white Hispanic” according to the New York Times.
Either way the Republic will survive.
Edmund Burke, and I shudder when I realize that you have no idea of who he was or what he wrote, said that the perpetual conflict in any society is always between order and freedom,
I fear that your paradigmatic template, one that is shared by all modern American Liberals, of what a government should do is based on the scribblings of John Rawls. If so, it becomes the horizon. It can never be reached. The result is simple.
In theory the electorate is always looking for more. More stuff, more respect, more attention, more favors. More. More.
In practice you get Detroit.
Chicago has more people being killed by gunfire than Baghdad.
We are told the NRA is to blame.
“How small, of all that human hearts endure,
That part which laws or kings can cause or cure.”
Happy days are still not here again.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Friday, June 14, 2013
June 12, 2013
Rebecca Marquez
OCEANA
@The Sun Sentinel
RE: One giant step for humankind
MS Marquez,
If you really love our planet, if you really care about “blue crab, spiny lobsters, swordfish, and Spanish mackerel”, if you really care about “92,000 commercial and recreational jobs”, if you really care about “293,000 tourism and recreation jobs”, if you really care about “protecting Florida’s greatest treasure”, you can do one simple thing that will profoundly affect the environment.
Turn your A/C off.
Get the smarmy Sun Sentinel to turn their A/C off.
Turn off the A/C in hospitals.
Turn off the A/C in schools.
Turn off the A/C in all government buildings.
Support legislation banning A/C in any state that borders on our “greatest treasure”.
The reason is simple.
Half the electricity produced in this country comes from burning coal; half the electricity used in this country is for air conditioning. Ergo, if you turn off all the A/Cs you will become a hero to generations of yet unborn fish. Assuming that they could thank you they really, really would. They would really, really, I mean realllllllly thank you if you could make the whole world go vegan.
The land of milk and honey awaits you.
Just one small step is needed.
Start a stampede. Be the first on your block to turn your A/C off.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Rebecca Marquez
OCEANA
@The Sun Sentinel
RE: One giant step for humankind
MS Marquez,
If you really love our planet, if you really care about “blue crab, spiny lobsters, swordfish, and Spanish mackerel”, if you really care about “92,000 commercial and recreational jobs”, if you really care about “293,000 tourism and recreation jobs”, if you really care about “protecting Florida’s greatest treasure”, you can do one simple thing that will profoundly affect the environment.
Turn your A/C off.
Get the smarmy Sun Sentinel to turn their A/C off.
Turn off the A/C in hospitals.
Turn off the A/C in schools.
Turn off the A/C in all government buildings.
Support legislation banning A/C in any state that borders on our “greatest treasure”.
The reason is simple.
Half the electricity produced in this country comes from burning coal; half the electricity used in this country is for air conditioning. Ergo, if you turn off all the A/Cs you will become a hero to generations of yet unborn fish. Assuming that they could thank you they really, really would. They would really, really, I mean realllllllly thank you if you could make the whole world go vegan.
The land of milk and honey awaits you.
Just one small step is needed.
Start a stampede. Be the first on your block to turn your A/C off.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
June 11, 2013 later in the day
Rebecca Marquez
OCEANA
@The Sun Sentinel
RE: My apologies
MS Marquez,
In my haste to rescue you from the clutches of modern American Liberalism – I bet you didn’t know that the forebears of the current Church of modern American Liberalism thought Mussolini was a great guy and that for almost 2 years they thought Hitler was an OK guy. You didn’t, did you? – I left out some important things.
Any novice entering the novitiate of secular humanism must first renounce the laws governing gravity. “Things unsupported fall to the earth” was one of Orwell’s truisms. He also said “stones are hard, water is wet”. As you may well imagine he was hated by the mALs of the 1930s and 1940s. They actually wanted to ban his books.
Once you have renounced gravity you are asked to believe that the horizon can and will be reached. No matter what competing reality says you, as a practicing but not yet fully professed mAL, must believe that all good things are possible if enough men of good faith believe and work for it to be. That’s why all good mALs have a chiropractor on speed dial. The cognitive dissonance demanded of true believers causes their backs to resemble Quasimodo and Richard the Third. One of the ways that they keep from swallowing their tongues is that they judge themselves and their policies on expectations and intentions. Only a hide bound Republican would dare to use results as a tool. If the nit-wits who want you to join their coven had their way the Super Bowl would never end. It would be a scoreless tie for all eternity or until the rain forests or polar bears died, whichever came first.
America’s longest war, the war that was begun by Lyndon Johnson in 1964 before the Gulf of Tonkin incident, the War on Poverty, is still being fought. The last charge over the top, the one that drove straight into the Maxim guns of History, was begun in 2009 using money borrowed from the Chinese inter alia. The nation awaits, somewhat less eagerly than in 2010, 2011, or 2012, the horizon-like Summer of Recovery.
But as to GlobalCoolingGlobalWarmingClimateChange, did you ever know how Greenland got its name? The earth shattering answer is that it was green. When ice melts the exposed land turns green from things growing.
See if you can follow this.
As temperatures rise more land becomes arable.
More arable land means more protein.
More protein means smarter people.
Smarter people means things like aqueducts, Logic, Pi, indoor plumbing, Mozart, the infield fly rule, the Salk vaccine, microwaves, trips to the Moon, Wal-Mart, child proof caps, afternoon television, and smart phones. I am sure I left a few things out so feel free to embellish the list.
Speaking of really smart people we were told 25 years ago by the consenus of scientists that we would all die from the AIDS “epidemic”. If AIDS was/is an epidemic which word would you use for the 60,000,000 deaths from Influenza in 1918/1919? How are you feeling?
I remember President Clinton giving a press conference in the Rose Garden at the White House in August of1997. Surprisingly, his zipper was all the way up. He said it was very hot out. He said it was because of Global Warming. He said one of the ways we got Global Warming was because of hot summer days.
That is called a tautology.
Combine it with circular reasoning, its evil twin, and all things can be proved to be true. I can prove that the moon is made of green cheese. If you want Camembert you got it. Cream cheese? Queso de oso? No problem. You name the fromage and I will produce a lunar title with its name on it. It will still call the tides. Honest.
The next trap I want you to avoid is the one-way trip to the “undiscovered country” that non-thinkers have a perpetual one way ticket with no return possible. Repeat after me: “Correlation is not causation. Correlation is not causation. Correlation is not causation.”
If you can’t avoid that you become hopelessly and haplessly ensnared – it’s like being Gorilla Glued in a briar patch built by and for morons – by the intellectually dishonest Post hoc ergo propter hoc.
Listen up.
John the Gom wore a green shirt on Monday. It rained. John the Gom wore a green shirt on Tuesday. It rained. John the Gom wore a green shirt on Wednesday. It rained. John the Gom wore a green shirt on Thursday. It rained. John the Gom wore a blue shirt on Friday. It did not rain. John the Gom had a picnic on Saturday. He did not wear a green shirt. It is not known if it rained.
Did you know that the snows of Mt. Kilimanjaro have been receding sinc1887? Did you know that 1887 was the first year that the snows were measured?
If the diminishing polar ice cap, the one that supposedly has all the polar bears floundering because of rich White guys driving gas-guzzling SUVs, is really melting where is the water going? I am looking out at the Intercoastal. I can assure that, while the water mysteriously rises twice a day it just as mysteriously falls twice a day. The only solution that makes sense to me is the one posited by Professor Antonio Vivaldi, the noted Italian climatologist. You may wish to become familiar with him and his teachings.
When I mentioned abortion it was with the silly notion that humans, “however base or vile their condition”, were what you meant by “Florida’s greatest treasure”, Further, since 6% of the population is responsible for the deaths of some 25,000,000 unborn Black babies, can we not estimate what else we have lost? Do you think that this year’s version of Barack Obama or Thomas Sowell or Frederick Douglas has gone down the drain in the abortion abattoir? How do you replace that loss?
Even if you don’t know of Walker Percy please accept on faith that he was one of the great men of American letters in the 20th century. It was he who said the back door of an abortion butcher factory leads straight to Auschwitz.
Marley, Jacob, not Bob, said to his partner Ebenezer, “Save yourself before it is too late”.
It is too easy to be a modern American Liberal. Thought is not required. I learn tonight that the US Ambassador to Belgium, a rich White guy who gave a lot of money to Obama hoping for change, has been accused of soliciting underage victims, both female and male, for sex. If we apply the Clarence Thomas rule the only important thing is the charge. As to the actual facts of the matter they are of no import. “First the verdict, then the trial” didn’t work with Justice Thomas, Shouldn’t it at least be tried with Ambassador Gutman?
If not, why not? Ask some of the people who wrote the editorial about the Zimmerman trial. They surely know. If they have to tell you there is still time for you “to look up and see the stars”.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Rebecca Marquez
OCEANA
@The Sun Sentinel
RE: My apologies
MS Marquez,
In my haste to rescue you from the clutches of modern American Liberalism – I bet you didn’t know that the forebears of the current Church of modern American Liberalism thought Mussolini was a great guy and that for almost 2 years they thought Hitler was an OK guy. You didn’t, did you? – I left out some important things.
Any novice entering the novitiate of secular humanism must first renounce the laws governing gravity. “Things unsupported fall to the earth” was one of Orwell’s truisms. He also said “stones are hard, water is wet”. As you may well imagine he was hated by the mALs of the 1930s and 1940s. They actually wanted to ban his books.
Once you have renounced gravity you are asked to believe that the horizon can and will be reached. No matter what competing reality says you, as a practicing but not yet fully professed mAL, must believe that all good things are possible if enough men of good faith believe and work for it to be. That’s why all good mALs have a chiropractor on speed dial. The cognitive dissonance demanded of true believers causes their backs to resemble Quasimodo and Richard the Third. One of the ways that they keep from swallowing their tongues is that they judge themselves and their policies on expectations and intentions. Only a hide bound Republican would dare to use results as a tool. If the nit-wits who want you to join their coven had their way the Super Bowl would never end. It would be a scoreless tie for all eternity or until the rain forests or polar bears died, whichever came first.
America’s longest war, the war that was begun by Lyndon Johnson in 1964 before the Gulf of Tonkin incident, the War on Poverty, is still being fought. The last charge over the top, the one that drove straight into the Maxim guns of History, was begun in 2009 using money borrowed from the Chinese inter alia. The nation awaits, somewhat less eagerly than in 2010, 2011, or 2012, the horizon-like Summer of Recovery.
But as to GlobalCoolingGlobalWarmingClimateChange, did you ever know how Greenland got its name? The earth shattering answer is that it was green. When ice melts the exposed land turns green from things growing.
See if you can follow this.
As temperatures rise more land becomes arable.
More arable land means more protein.
More protein means smarter people.
Smarter people means things like aqueducts, Logic, Pi, indoor plumbing, Mozart, the infield fly rule, the Salk vaccine, microwaves, trips to the Moon, Wal-Mart, child proof caps, afternoon television, and smart phones. I am sure I left a few things out so feel free to embellish the list.
Speaking of really smart people we were told 25 years ago by the consenus of scientists that we would all die from the AIDS “epidemic”. If AIDS was/is an epidemic which word would you use for the 60,000,000 deaths from Influenza in 1918/1919? How are you feeling?
I remember President Clinton giving a press conference in the Rose Garden at the White House in August of1997. Surprisingly, his zipper was all the way up. He said it was very hot out. He said it was because of Global Warming. He said one of the ways we got Global Warming was because of hot summer days.
That is called a tautology.
Combine it with circular reasoning, its evil twin, and all things can be proved to be true. I can prove that the moon is made of green cheese. If you want Camembert you got it. Cream cheese? Queso de oso? No problem. You name the fromage and I will produce a lunar title with its name on it. It will still call the tides. Honest.
The next trap I want you to avoid is the one-way trip to the “undiscovered country” that non-thinkers have a perpetual one way ticket with no return possible. Repeat after me: “Correlation is not causation. Correlation is not causation. Correlation is not causation.”
If you can’t avoid that you become hopelessly and haplessly ensnared – it’s like being Gorilla Glued in a briar patch built by and for morons – by the intellectually dishonest Post hoc ergo propter hoc.
Listen up.
John the Gom wore a green shirt on Monday. It rained. John the Gom wore a green shirt on Tuesday. It rained. John the Gom wore a green shirt on Wednesday. It rained. John the Gom wore a green shirt on Thursday. It rained. John the Gom wore a blue shirt on Friday. It did not rain. John the Gom had a picnic on Saturday. He did not wear a green shirt. It is not known if it rained.
Did you know that the snows of Mt. Kilimanjaro have been receding sinc1887? Did you know that 1887 was the first year that the snows were measured?
If the diminishing polar ice cap, the one that supposedly has all the polar bears floundering because of rich White guys driving gas-guzzling SUVs, is really melting where is the water going? I am looking out at the Intercoastal. I can assure that, while the water mysteriously rises twice a day it just as mysteriously falls twice a day. The only solution that makes sense to me is the one posited by Professor Antonio Vivaldi, the noted Italian climatologist. You may wish to become familiar with him and his teachings.
When I mentioned abortion it was with the silly notion that humans, “however base or vile their condition”, were what you meant by “Florida’s greatest treasure”, Further, since 6% of the population is responsible for the deaths of some 25,000,000 unborn Black babies, can we not estimate what else we have lost? Do you think that this year’s version of Barack Obama or Thomas Sowell or Frederick Douglas has gone down the drain in the abortion abattoir? How do you replace that loss?
Even if you don’t know of Walker Percy please accept on faith that he was one of the great men of American letters in the 20th century. It was he who said the back door of an abortion butcher factory leads straight to Auschwitz.
Marley, Jacob, not Bob, said to his partner Ebenezer, “Save yourself before it is too late”.
It is too easy to be a modern American Liberal. Thought is not required. I learn tonight that the US Ambassador to Belgium, a rich White guy who gave a lot of money to Obama hoping for change, has been accused of soliciting underage victims, both female and male, for sex. If we apply the Clarence Thomas rule the only important thing is the charge. As to the actual facts of the matter they are of no import. “First the verdict, then the trial” didn’t work with Justice Thomas, Shouldn’t it at least be tried with Ambassador Gutman?
If not, why not? Ask some of the people who wrote the editorial about the Zimmerman trial. They surely know. If they have to tell you there is still time for you “to look up and see the stars”.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
June 11, 2013
Rebecca Marquez
Florida OCEANA Organizer
@The Sun Sentinel
RE: Two birds with one stone – Some comments on the editorial page contents and how there is a grand design to things.
MS Marquez,
“MORE ISSUES ON TRIAL
THAN JUST ZIMMERMAN”
What that means in the modern American Liberal double speak is – wink, nod, eyebrow raised – that even if Zimmerman is innocent he is guilty. The facts notwithstanding – Have we all forgotten the Duke “rape” case? – a guilty verdict will just be one more “I’m sorry, Black America for being White and having gotten away with so much since we bought you from your kinsmen and brought you here. Please accept this guilty verdict as proof that we really, really are sorry for our sins, past and present.”
The heading said it all.
“PROTECTING FLORIDA’S GREATEST TREASURE”
I am too old and far too jaded to fall into “traps set by knaves for fools” but I just did again.
Obviously Florida’s “greatest treasure” is its people. That’s why I thought your note would be one of protest about the only certified genocide in this country. Since Roe V Wade we have had ca. 55,000,000 abortions. About 3/8ths of those have been performed on Black women. Since 1876 some 3,400 Black men have been lynched in this country. “After the first death there are no others” is true figuratively but the difference in the numbers would suggest that our language must be expanded to accommodate the gargantuan imbalance.
Perhaps you were going to celebrate Western Civilization. Things like the Trivium, reasoned discourse, the scientific method, the Renaissance, the Rule of Law, Mozart, Madison…Curses! Lucy tricked me yet again. Just as I was about to kick the football she yanked it away.
Just one more lash on the back of a civilized man, a man who is devoted to the “permanent things”.
Your screed begins with you exalting a pet peeve of mine. “Three short years ago”. Unless someone is holding your head under water time is neither short nor long. It is…time. If you want to see how time can really fly sign an IOU for 90 days.
“Three short years ago” refers to the BP oil spill. It shut down the Gulf coasts of 4 states. Texas escaped the wrath of Gaia for some strange reason, perhaps political. Oil was spilling out in what seemed like an incalculable amount. The President of the United States said he would “kick someone in the ass”. It is known if that decreased the flow of oil but if he is as good an ass kicker as he is a baseball pitcher he would finish last in the one-legged ass kicking jamboree.
My questions are simple.
Have the fish and bi-valves returned to the Gulf? Has fish from the Gulf been banned from Publix? Have the vacationers returned to the Gulf? My last question has been bothering me for some time. 3 years to be exact. Be they “short” or “long” I yearn for an answer. Since you are listed as a “campaign organizer” for something called OCEANA maybe you can tell me where all the oil went. [As an aside is OCEANA a 501C3 or C4 non-profit? Did you have any problem getting IRS approved status? Is a “campaign organizer” akin to a “community activist”? I say that because the last community activist of note wound up in the White House. In fact, he is still there. Play your cards right and Quien sabe?]
If you can find out where the oil went get back to me, OK? Find out what happened to the guy who got his ass kicked also.
“AND WE CAN NO LONGER IGNORE THE FACT THAT
OIL IS DRIVING CLIMATE CHANGE AND OCEAN ACIDIFICATION”
Yes, we can or Si, se puede. Honest.
The New York Times, yes, The New York Times, said yesterday that by any known empirical standard it has been 15 years since there was any uptick in global temperature. I don’t know much about ocean acidification but I do know that The Last of the Mohicans, you have heard of it, haven’t you, was set in the Adirondacks in the 18th century. Adirondack means dry and bitter land. How it got to be called that before the Industrial Age, indeed even before the usage of petroleum products for anything but lumbago, is beyond me. Get back to me on that one also.
Should, as you say, we find ourselves with sick blue crab, spiny lobster, swordfish, and Spanish mackerel would they be covered under Obamacare?
It’s not that you’re dumb. You may be. It’s just that there is so much you don’t know.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Rebecca Marquez
Florida OCEANA Organizer
@The Sun Sentinel
RE: Two birds with one stone – Some comments on the editorial page contents and how there is a grand design to things.
MS Marquez,
“MORE ISSUES ON TRIAL
THAN JUST ZIMMERMAN”
What that means in the modern American Liberal double speak is – wink, nod, eyebrow raised – that even if Zimmerman is innocent he is guilty. The facts notwithstanding – Have we all forgotten the Duke “rape” case? – a guilty verdict will just be one more “I’m sorry, Black America for being White and having gotten away with so much since we bought you from your kinsmen and brought you here. Please accept this guilty verdict as proof that we really, really are sorry for our sins, past and present.”
The heading said it all.
“PROTECTING FLORIDA’S GREATEST TREASURE”
I am too old and far too jaded to fall into “traps set by knaves for fools” but I just did again.
Obviously Florida’s “greatest treasure” is its people. That’s why I thought your note would be one of protest about the only certified genocide in this country. Since Roe V Wade we have had ca. 55,000,000 abortions. About 3/8ths of those have been performed on Black women. Since 1876 some 3,400 Black men have been lynched in this country. “After the first death there are no others” is true figuratively but the difference in the numbers would suggest that our language must be expanded to accommodate the gargantuan imbalance.
Perhaps you were going to celebrate Western Civilization. Things like the Trivium, reasoned discourse, the scientific method, the Renaissance, the Rule of Law, Mozart, Madison…Curses! Lucy tricked me yet again. Just as I was about to kick the football she yanked it away.
Just one more lash on the back of a civilized man, a man who is devoted to the “permanent things”.
Your screed begins with you exalting a pet peeve of mine. “Three short years ago”. Unless someone is holding your head under water time is neither short nor long. It is…time. If you want to see how time can really fly sign an IOU for 90 days.
“Three short years ago” refers to the BP oil spill. It shut down the Gulf coasts of 4 states. Texas escaped the wrath of Gaia for some strange reason, perhaps political. Oil was spilling out in what seemed like an incalculable amount. The President of the United States said he would “kick someone in the ass”. It is known if that decreased the flow of oil but if he is as good an ass kicker as he is a baseball pitcher he would finish last in the one-legged ass kicking jamboree.
My questions are simple.
Have the fish and bi-valves returned to the Gulf? Has fish from the Gulf been banned from Publix? Have the vacationers returned to the Gulf? My last question has been bothering me for some time. 3 years to be exact. Be they “short” or “long” I yearn for an answer. Since you are listed as a “campaign organizer” for something called OCEANA maybe you can tell me where all the oil went. [As an aside is OCEANA a 501C3 or C4 non-profit? Did you have any problem getting IRS approved status? Is a “campaign organizer” akin to a “community activist”? I say that because the last community activist of note wound up in the White House. In fact, he is still there. Play your cards right and Quien sabe?]
If you can find out where the oil went get back to me, OK? Find out what happened to the guy who got his ass kicked also.
“AND WE CAN NO LONGER IGNORE THE FACT THAT
OIL IS DRIVING CLIMATE CHANGE AND OCEAN ACIDIFICATION”
Yes, we can or Si, se puede. Honest.
The New York Times, yes, The New York Times, said yesterday that by any known empirical standard it has been 15 years since there was any uptick in global temperature. I don’t know much about ocean acidification but I do know that The Last of the Mohicans, you have heard of it, haven’t you, was set in the Adirondacks in the 18th century. Adirondack means dry and bitter land. How it got to be called that before the Industrial Age, indeed even before the usage of petroleum products for anything but lumbago, is beyond me. Get back to me on that one also.
Should, as you say, we find ourselves with sick blue crab, spiny lobster, swordfish, and Spanish mackerel would they be covered under Obamacare?
It’s not that you’re dumb. You may be. It’s just that there is so much you don’t know.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
June 9, 2013
Gary Stein
The Sun Sentinel
RE: Such a nice lady. Let her talk. Some comments on your column on how free speech isn’t when they don’t want to hear it.
Big Stein,
So “unwavering” is my wish to preserve American History that I have taken pen in hand to school you, ever so gently, in something you know nothing about. Maybe you do but you do but you keep it from your readers most skillfully.
As to Ms. Rich, she seems like a nice lady. As a fire breathing, card carrying modern American Liberal we know that she never lets facts interfere with her arguments. Her primary campaign success is of no import to me since my contempt for her is not personal.
4th & 5th trimester abortions, manatee suffrage, no tax too high, “fairness”, free stuff, who needs guns, Republicans are racist, sexist, ageist, tofu haters, SUV owners, homophobic….it is so predictable that it is more than a bit boring.
It is the Jefferson/Jackson connection that moves me to high dudgeon.
They were involved in the two dirtiest campaigns – 1800 & 1828 – in American History. Imagine if they had electricity!
I can note the origins of the meaner than cat shit Democratic politics – Remember, I am from Bayonne, N.J. – without celebrating them.
I know more than most about Jefferson. I know that since our culture no longer favors the defense of the “permanent things” that he is most remembered for fathering a child with a slave. Alas, DNA suggests otherwise but as President Kennedy, he of “we shall pay any price and bear any burden in defense of liberty” fame, told us “a lie is halfway around the world before the truth can get his pants on”.
It is Andy Jackson name on the ticket that tells me that today’s wing-nut Democrats ain’t got no clue about American History.
That he was personally brave there can be no doubt. So was Hitler. Also, he tolerated no insults, real or imaginary, to any of his ladies.
What is not remembered is that he killed more Native Americans than all other Presidents combined. How else could he have gotten all those American Abos from Florida to Oklahoma? At least a thousand Wounded Knees were on the Trail of Tears that Andy Jackson ordered. That gives me an idea. Why not have MS Rich’s campaign to have FSU drop Seminoles as its nickname? How about the Florida State Conciliators? Maybe the Florida State Community Outreachers? That could be a real big issue for her. Honest.
If Jackson’s bloody hands weren’t enough to cause revulsion 180 years later he became the role model for Jimmy Carter as the worst shepherd of American business ever. Both men possessed one quality in common; neither was able to find his ass using both his hands. Arthur Schlesinger notwithstanding, he was a terrible President. Why do Democrats celebrate him?
[Speaking of celebrations, how is Little Stein doing in college? Tell him if he gets to any class involving Wordsworth, he of daffodil fame, to keep his mouth shut. Wiiliy is on the shit list of the permanently outraged chicks who want to turn “mail man” into “person person”. In fact, if he has any English or History classes with a female teacher who has to bigger forearms than he does or if she has two van Dykes, tell him to switch to Astronomy or Linear B grammar. If he is on a campus where peeing standing up is hate speech tell him to consider A/C technology or newspaper ad sales.]
It may not be such a bad thing that MS Rich misses the J&J dinner.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Gary Stein
The Sun Sentinel
RE: Such a nice lady. Let her talk. Some comments on your column on how free speech isn’t when they don’t want to hear it.
Big Stein,
So “unwavering” is my wish to preserve American History that I have taken pen in hand to school you, ever so gently, in something you know nothing about. Maybe you do but you do but you keep it from your readers most skillfully.
As to Ms. Rich, she seems like a nice lady. As a fire breathing, card carrying modern American Liberal we know that she never lets facts interfere with her arguments. Her primary campaign success is of no import to me since my contempt for her is not personal.
4th & 5th trimester abortions, manatee suffrage, no tax too high, “fairness”, free stuff, who needs guns, Republicans are racist, sexist, ageist, tofu haters, SUV owners, homophobic….it is so predictable that it is more than a bit boring.
It is the Jefferson/Jackson connection that moves me to high dudgeon.
They were involved in the two dirtiest campaigns – 1800 & 1828 – in American History. Imagine if they had electricity!
I can note the origins of the meaner than cat shit Democratic politics – Remember, I am from Bayonne, N.J. – without celebrating them.
I know more than most about Jefferson. I know that since our culture no longer favors the defense of the “permanent things” that he is most remembered for fathering a child with a slave. Alas, DNA suggests otherwise but as President Kennedy, he of “we shall pay any price and bear any burden in defense of liberty” fame, told us “a lie is halfway around the world before the truth can get his pants on”.
It is Andy Jackson name on the ticket that tells me that today’s wing-nut Democrats ain’t got no clue about American History.
That he was personally brave there can be no doubt. So was Hitler. Also, he tolerated no insults, real or imaginary, to any of his ladies.
What is not remembered is that he killed more Native Americans than all other Presidents combined. How else could he have gotten all those American Abos from Florida to Oklahoma? At least a thousand Wounded Knees were on the Trail of Tears that Andy Jackson ordered. That gives me an idea. Why not have MS Rich’s campaign to have FSU drop Seminoles as its nickname? How about the Florida State Conciliators? Maybe the Florida State Community Outreachers? That could be a real big issue for her. Honest.
If Jackson’s bloody hands weren’t enough to cause revulsion 180 years later he became the role model for Jimmy Carter as the worst shepherd of American business ever. Both men possessed one quality in common; neither was able to find his ass using both his hands. Arthur Schlesinger notwithstanding, he was a terrible President. Why do Democrats celebrate him?
[Speaking of celebrations, how is Little Stein doing in college? Tell him if he gets to any class involving Wordsworth, he of daffodil fame, to keep his mouth shut. Wiiliy is on the shit list of the permanently outraged chicks who want to turn “mail man” into “person person”. In fact, if he has any English or History classes with a female teacher who has to bigger forearms than he does or if she has two van Dykes, tell him to switch to Astronomy or Linear B grammar. If he is on a campus where peeing standing up is hate speech tell him to consider A/C technology or newspaper ad sales.]
It may not be such a bad thing that MS Rich misses the J&J dinner.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Sunday, June 9, 2013
A Modest Proposal to Strike a Blow for Gender Equity
une 5, 2013
A Modest Proposal to Strike a Blow for Gender Equity
Spartan mothers would tell their Hoplite sons to come back from battle either with their shield or on it. Now that Michael Douglas has been wounded, some might say it was a million dollar wound with his face to the front, a group of venture capitalists have come forward to fill the gap caused by his departure.
The Bearded Clam Marching Society will be made up of mature volunteers, preferably full-bearded, who will be experienced, sensitive, forceful if circumstances demand it, and, most importantly, willing to dive right into the task at hand.
It is possible that some of the fees will be covered by Obamacare. If not, we have alternative financing plans including our very popular lay away package. Satisfaction is guaranteed. We stay until the bell rings. Just pay separate P&H and we will bring the Liberty Bell package to your door.
If you need this vital service dial 1-800-MUFFDIVE.
If you are interested in becoming part of our team or if you are interested in franchise opportunities dial 1-800-RUGMUNCH Ext 69
Our web site is BOXLUNCHATTHEY.COM
A Modest Proposal to Strike a Blow for Gender Equity
Spartan mothers would tell their Hoplite sons to come back from battle either with their shield or on it. Now that Michael Douglas has been wounded, some might say it was a million dollar wound with his face to the front, a group of venture capitalists have come forward to fill the gap caused by his departure.
The Bearded Clam Marching Society will be made up of mature volunteers, preferably full-bearded, who will be experienced, sensitive, forceful if circumstances demand it, and, most importantly, willing to dive right into the task at hand.
It is possible that some of the fees will be covered by Obamacare. If not, we have alternative financing plans including our very popular lay away package. Satisfaction is guaranteed. We stay until the bell rings. Just pay separate P&H and we will bring the Liberty Bell package to your door.
If you need this vital service dial 1-800-MUFFDIVE.
If you are interested in becoming part of our team or if you are interested in franchise opportunities dial 1-800-RUGMUNCH Ext 69
Our web site is BOXLUNCHATTHEY.COM
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Letter to the Editor
The Sun Sentinel
500 Broward Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394
RE: “First the verdict; then the trial” and Save the Turtles. It takes a while but it all makes sense in the end. Some comments on your editorial page cartoon and your editorial.
Sirs,
So seldom do I get a chance to quote Oliver Cromwell – “I beseech you, in the bowels of Christ, think it possible that you may be mistaken” – that I laid aside all other things and leaped to it.
The cartoon and your previous editorials coupled with your perpetually outraged opinion columnists present an irresistible “target rich” environment. We have allowed our language to become so debased that “target rich” implies that every man has a goodly supply of Claymore mines. Come to think of it that may not be such a bad idea. Orwell would snatch the hammer from your cartoon and smash his fingers so he could write no more.
Try to follow this. I’ll type slowly.
#1 – It is not the Trayvon trial. It was not the Nicole trial nor was it the Ron trial. it was the OJ trial. The guy with the toe tag is the victim [alleged]. He is not on trial.
#2 – If racism is on trial would a guilty verdict and a quick execution balance the scales of centuries-long American racism?
#3 – What if a “Bronx Jury” delivers a “Bronx Verdict”?
#4 – What if there is a Johnny Cochrane moment in the trial?
#5 – What if he is found not guilty?
#6 – What if, and this would be the worst of all possible worlds, he didn’t do it?
Here are some strange thoughts for you to ponder. Consider them to be a turd in the judicial punch bowl, if you will.
What ever happened to the presumption of innocence? Has the 6th Amendment been temporarily suspended because it is a trial of a “white Hispanic”, so described by the New York Times, accused of killing a Black teen? Is he not entitled to a vigorous and aggressive defense? Is that old saw, a relic sometimes called The Rule of Law [Send a SASE] not allowed to raise its tired head in a trial involving a White defendant and a Black victim [alleged]?
Was it intentionally ironic – Can “ironic” modify absurdity? – of you to place the “White Man is Evil” cartoon underneath your editorial that says Gibraltar may tumble, the Rockies may crumble but the turtle must be saved?
2 things:
A – Did Fort Lauderdale observe the letter and the spirit of the law when they did the emergency repairs on the beach, the sea wall, the sidewalk, and A1A long past the tip-toe past the turtle, don’t even think about sneezing, drop dead date lest the hatchlings lose their way and succumb to ADHD? Has anyone told the maritime predators, both air-borne and sea, that these cute little buggers are under Federal protection? I mean like the IRS will put a boot in their ass, it being the American way, right?
B – I can’t hurt the babies but when is the best time to grab Mom & Dad? I haven’t had turtle soup in some time. It is a great starter dish when the entrée is whooping crane Milanese or unborn manatee rib-eyes
HANG ZIMMERMAN & SAVE THE TURTLES
LUNACY AND MADNESS, MODERN AMERICAN STYLE
PERFECT TOGETHER!
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
PS – I guess it slipped your mind but today, June 4, is the anniversary of the Battle of Midway. 4 Jap carriers sunk. The war begins to turn. Look up the year. I hope when the Marines landed on Guadalcanal later that year they did so in an environmentally sensitive manner.
The Sun Sentinel
500 Broward Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394
RE: “First the verdict; then the trial” and Save the Turtles. It takes a while but it all makes sense in the end. Some comments on your editorial page cartoon and your editorial.
Sirs,
So seldom do I get a chance to quote Oliver Cromwell – “I beseech you, in the bowels of Christ, think it possible that you may be mistaken” – that I laid aside all other things and leaped to it.
The cartoon and your previous editorials coupled with your perpetually outraged opinion columnists present an irresistible “target rich” environment. We have allowed our language to become so debased that “target rich” implies that every man has a goodly supply of Claymore mines. Come to think of it that may not be such a bad idea. Orwell would snatch the hammer from your cartoon and smash his fingers so he could write no more.
Try to follow this. I’ll type slowly.
#1 – It is not the Trayvon trial. It was not the Nicole trial nor was it the Ron trial. it was the OJ trial. The guy with the toe tag is the victim [alleged]. He is not on trial.
#2 – If racism is on trial would a guilty verdict and a quick execution balance the scales of centuries-long American racism?
#3 – What if a “Bronx Jury” delivers a “Bronx Verdict”?
#4 – What if there is a Johnny Cochrane moment in the trial?
#5 – What if he is found not guilty?
#6 – What if, and this would be the worst of all possible worlds, he didn’t do it?
Here are some strange thoughts for you to ponder. Consider them to be a turd in the judicial punch bowl, if you will.
What ever happened to the presumption of innocence? Has the 6th Amendment been temporarily suspended because it is a trial of a “white Hispanic”, so described by the New York Times, accused of killing a Black teen? Is he not entitled to a vigorous and aggressive defense? Is that old saw, a relic sometimes called The Rule of Law [Send a SASE] not allowed to raise its tired head in a trial involving a White defendant and a Black victim [alleged]?
Was it intentionally ironic – Can “ironic” modify absurdity? – of you to place the “White Man is Evil” cartoon underneath your editorial that says Gibraltar may tumble, the Rockies may crumble but the turtle must be saved?
2 things:
A – Did Fort Lauderdale observe the letter and the spirit of the law when they did the emergency repairs on the beach, the sea wall, the sidewalk, and A1A long past the tip-toe past the turtle, don’t even think about sneezing, drop dead date lest the hatchlings lose their way and succumb to ADHD? Has anyone told the maritime predators, both air-borne and sea, that these cute little buggers are under Federal protection? I mean like the IRS will put a boot in their ass, it being the American way, right?
B – I can’t hurt the babies but when is the best time to grab Mom & Dad? I haven’t had turtle soup in some time. It is a great starter dish when the entrée is whooping crane Milanese or unborn manatee rib-eyes
HANG ZIMMERMAN & SAVE THE TURTLES
LUNACY AND MADNESS, MODERN AMERICAN STYLE
PERFECT TOGETHER!
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
PS – I guess it slipped your mind but today, June 4, is the anniversary of the Battle of Midway. 4 Jap carriers sunk. The war begins to turn. Look up the year. I hope when the Marines landed on Guadalcanal later that year they did so in an environmentally sensitive manner.
Sunday, June 2, 2013
June 2, 2013
Victoria Strauss
The Washington Post
1150 15th Street NW
Washington, DC 20071
RE: Education and will we ever be rid of those evil Bushes? – Some comments on your “eclectically indignant” column on “Why Johnny Can’t Read” and what Jeb Bush intends to do or, worse, not do about it.
Ms. Strauss,
If Jeb Bush has “disdain” for public education would not Logic dictate Barack Obama has “contempt” for it?
By the standard that modern American Liberals believe is the only one that counts – spending per pupil – the public school system in Washington, DC must be the best in the nation
In addition to the moneys spent per pupil the teachers all belong to a union that is known for its altruism. Further, the fine, sensitive hand of an enlightened bureaucracy can be relied on to do what is best for the children.
Why then are the Obama children attending posh private schools?
I am sure the Clinton and Gore children were chauffeured past a public school on their way, you guessed it, to their posh, private schools. “Disdain” and “contempt” have already been used. How about “loathing”?
Perhaps you could help me with a long standing quest. It is not quite “Holy Grail” status but it is a notch up from “Where’s Waldo”?
Valuable prizes await anyone who can find proof of any Kennedy child ever attending a public grammar school or public high school in the 20th century.
I started to read your article about Black youth but I was overcome with political enuresis. Have you ever considered The Onion or Saturday Night Live?
Kevin Smith
Victoria Strauss
The Washington Post
1150 15th Street NW
Washington, DC 20071
RE: Education and will we ever be rid of those evil Bushes? – Some comments on your “eclectically indignant” column on “Why Johnny Can’t Read” and what Jeb Bush intends to do or, worse, not do about it.
Ms. Strauss,
If Jeb Bush has “disdain” for public education would not Logic dictate Barack Obama has “contempt” for it?
By the standard that modern American Liberals believe is the only one that counts – spending per pupil – the public school system in Washington, DC must be the best in the nation
In addition to the moneys spent per pupil the teachers all belong to a union that is known for its altruism. Further, the fine, sensitive hand of an enlightened bureaucracy can be relied on to do what is best for the children.
Why then are the Obama children attending posh private schools?
I am sure the Clinton and Gore children were chauffeured past a public school on their way, you guessed it, to their posh, private schools. “Disdain” and “contempt” have already been used. How about “loathing”?
Perhaps you could help me with a long standing quest. It is not quite “Holy Grail” status but it is a notch up from “Where’s Waldo”?
Valuable prizes await anyone who can find proof of any Kennedy child ever attending a public grammar school or public high school in the 20th century.
I started to read your article about Black youth but I was overcome with political enuresis. Have you ever considered The Onion or Saturday Night Live?
Kevin Smith
Friday, May 31, 2013
May 31, 2013
Anthony Orlando
The Sun Sentinel
RE: Liar, liar, pants on fire? Let me count the ways. Some comments on your column protesting that Republican Governors are not angels.
Mr. Orlando,
It dawned on me that since I gave up my pre-dawn gin I need a frisson to send Morpheus home.
You’re it today.
“The answer is the greatest act of hypocrisy in modern politics.”
Today
You
You refer, of course, to the Republican Governors, bounders all, who tip-toe into Washington in the dead of night and load up their gas guzzling, polar bear killing stealth SUVs with federal pelf, such swag coming from honest, hardworking modern American Liberal states.
I say “Good Show”
If you are too dumb to lock the safe you really can’t complain when someone takes the money that you borrowed from the Chinese, can you? If you want to be Charley Brown believing that this time Lucy will let him kick the football….well that’s too damn bad.
But that’s not why I write.
I suggest that as long as the years 1916, 1940, and 1964 are not air brushed out of History like some deputy commissar out of favor with the Politburo the champion of “greatest act of hypocrisy in modern politics” shall forever be the modern American Liberal Democratic Party.
I shant comment on Woodrow Wilson’s vile, racist, and bigoted stands on Blacks and Jews. It would also be unfair to mention his sponsorship of the Ku Klux Klan so I won’t. [Do you think he inspired Justice Hugo Black and Senator Robert Byrd, both of whom were card carrying Democrats? Find out and get back to me, OK?]
“He kept us out of war.”
That was his slogan in 1916.
Liar, Liar. Pants on fire!
Franklin Roosevelt was a serial lawbreaker in 1938, 1939, and 1940. One of the great things he did as a felon was his constant breaking of laws that he had signed.
“I won’t send American boys to fight in foreign wars.”
That was his slogan in 1940.
Liar, Liar. Pants on fire!
Lyndon Johnson started 2 wars when he was President. One of them is still being fought. Before he started the second one – the one that has a big black wall with a lot of names on it in Washington – he borrowed Roosevelt’s 1940 line.
Liar, Liar. Pants on fire!
Thanks for getting me started this morning. If you need a part time job I have an opening in my front lawn Wack-A-Mole game. You have a very thick skull, probably ivory, doubtless filled with mush. I’ll have to duct tape your ears lest your mAL mush spill out and turn my lawn into a Super Fund Cleanup site.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
PS – Why don’t you wiretap all the Governors? You guys are good at that.
Anthony Orlando
The Sun Sentinel
RE: Liar, liar, pants on fire? Let me count the ways. Some comments on your column protesting that Republican Governors are not angels.
Mr. Orlando,
It dawned on me that since I gave up my pre-dawn gin I need a frisson to send Morpheus home.
You’re it today.
“The answer is the greatest act of hypocrisy in modern politics.”
Today
You
You refer, of course, to the Republican Governors, bounders all, who tip-toe into Washington in the dead of night and load up their gas guzzling, polar bear killing stealth SUVs with federal pelf, such swag coming from honest, hardworking modern American Liberal states.
I say “Good Show”
If you are too dumb to lock the safe you really can’t complain when someone takes the money that you borrowed from the Chinese, can you? If you want to be Charley Brown believing that this time Lucy will let him kick the football….well that’s too damn bad.
But that’s not why I write.
I suggest that as long as the years 1916, 1940, and 1964 are not air brushed out of History like some deputy commissar out of favor with the Politburo the champion of “greatest act of hypocrisy in modern politics” shall forever be the modern American Liberal Democratic Party.
I shant comment on Woodrow Wilson’s vile, racist, and bigoted stands on Blacks and Jews. It would also be unfair to mention his sponsorship of the Ku Klux Klan so I won’t. [Do you think he inspired Justice Hugo Black and Senator Robert Byrd, both of whom were card carrying Democrats? Find out and get back to me, OK?]
“He kept us out of war.”
That was his slogan in 1916.
Liar, Liar. Pants on fire!
Franklin Roosevelt was a serial lawbreaker in 1938, 1939, and 1940. One of the great things he did as a felon was his constant breaking of laws that he had signed.
“I won’t send American boys to fight in foreign wars.”
That was his slogan in 1940.
Liar, Liar. Pants on fire!
Lyndon Johnson started 2 wars when he was President. One of them is still being fought. Before he started the second one – the one that has a big black wall with a lot of names on it in Washington – he borrowed Roosevelt’s 1940 line.
Liar, Liar. Pants on fire!
Thanks for getting me started this morning. If you need a part time job I have an opening in my front lawn Wack-A-Mole game. You have a very thick skull, probably ivory, doubtless filled with mush. I’ll have to duct tape your ears lest your mAL mush spill out and turn my lawn into a Super Fund Cleanup site.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
PS – Why don’t you wiretap all the Governors? You guys are good at that.
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