Posts
February 19, 2015
Professor Hugh Thomas
@ The Miami Herald
RE: “Don’t know much about History…” – Some comments on your unlinkable article in today’s Miami Herald, an article in which you use a 2500 year old Logical fallacy, tu quoque, to explain to defend, I think, why Muslim terrorists are, y’know what I’m sayin’, Muslim terrorists. And, if I may gild the lily, feral radical Muslim terrorists.
My dear Professor,
Your column about Western ignorance of the real reasons for radical Muslim terrorists reminds me of Noel Coward’s WW2 ditty faintly praising the Nazis that was banned by the BBC. “Don’t Let’s Be Beastly To The Germans”. Its second line, “After all, their Bach is worse than their bite” is one of the great lyrics of the 20th century. “How much is that doggie in the window” ain’t got nothing on it. [I’ll get, so to speak, back to Bach in a bit]
I may not “know much about History” – N.B. I always capitalize the H to show my respect to Clio, my favorite Muse - but I do know if the 17th century version of feral radical Muslim terrorists did not get their demonic asses kicked by Jan Sobieski, a righteous Gentile and a savior of Western Civilization, at Vienna in 1683 we never would have heard of Bach.
Of course, if stoning is an option for settling marital disputes, if non-existential clit-cutting is a cold turkey approach to ridding the world of all those troublesome G spots, if beheading or crucifying Christians becomes an accepted after madrassa activity, if banning balloons, if forbidding whistling, I blowing up 2500 year old Buddhas is a rite of passage, if Joan of Arcing a Jordanian prisoner becomes holy writ, what difference does it make? The Goldberg Variations? The Iceberg Variations? The Jews sunk the Titanic because they are descended form pigs and monkeys. Kill them all!
There are 2 reasons for major celebrations – A Te Deum with “illuminations” – every October 7th.
#1 – It is my birthday.
#2 – All hail the victors of the Battle of Lepanto! Salamis, Trafalgar, Midway are on par with it. I may not “know much about History” but I do know that if the good guys – the Christian West – did not sink the fleet of the bad guys – feral radical Muslims – in 1571 “they” would have kept their promise and “stabled their horses in the Sistine Chapel”.
Honest. Look it up.
#1 – It’s coming up to 500 years since anybody in Spain used the strapado.
#2 – It’s been a long time, say 800 years, that we have kept the Crusaders, the original “bitter clingers”, under house arrest.
#3 – It was Christians in the West who stopped the slave trade. Do you think it is possible that 5 generations back one of the President’s forebears had in interest in recruiting some adventure seeking lads and lasses for a nice ocean voyage followed by light outdoor work, a steady job with great benefits?
#4 – Speaking of #3, there are at least 5 Muslim countries, Nigeria, Chad, Mali, Mauretania, and Sudan that either allow or acquiesce in slavery. Another thing these despicable thugs share is that each has the same number of votes in the UN that we have. How soon before we add Libya to the list?
#5 – Whatever happened to #Bringnbackourgirls? How is that working out? I never hear about it on the news. What could have possibly gone wrong?
#6 – Less than a century after a goat humping pedophile founded Islam, their peace loving – Just kidding! – votaries, missionaries all, were halfway across Europe. Thank God they met Charles Martel, a “non-cheese eating surrender monkey”, at Tours.
What would Europe have looked like if they had won and gone across the Rhine and then into the Baltic States?
13 centuries after Christ a Florentine poet said “Halfway through my journey I found myself in the dark wood of error”. 2 centuries after that Christianity tore itself apart to make itself better.
Where is the Muslim Dante? Where is the Muslim Luther?
Something happened in the Fertile Crescent about 50 generations ago. They began to eat their seed corn. They turned inward….and stayed there. Check the list of Nobel Prize winners in the 20th century. Find me a dozen Muslim names? Why is that? Should there be a set aside for them? Not a quota, more a goal.
This I know.
History, and I “don’t know much about it”, tells me that a well kicked Muslim ass is a quiet, non-threatening ass. I don’t much care if they are seething and plotting as long as they keep it to themselves. Perhaps Senator Fulbright’s doctrine is ready for a renascence
President Cleveland ordered the US Army to break the Pullman Strike so that the mail could go through. He received a telegram advising him that the strike was broken, and that the mail was going through but that he mail was going through. He immediately wired back and asked “Did you kill enough?’
The German-American Mayor of Milwaukee, at the height of the Agadir Incident, wired President Theodore Roosevelt that “100,000 German-Americans wanted Germany treated fairly”. Roosevelt wired him back to tell him that there were at least 100,000 lamp posts in the country.
In the spring of 1945 Curtis Lemay said that if the US didn’t win the war he would be tried as a war criminal.
We did; he wasn’t.
I am glad you are an atheist. One of your more famous co-religionists said, “In the long run we are all dead.”
I want my legacy to long outlive me. I have 3 granddaughters, collectively known as my Texas Ladies. I told the youngest that when she gets to my age that I want her to give her granddaughters what I gave them:
Western Civilization, with all its jewels and warts.
Let’s start with rights that are ours at birth. “Gifts from beyond the stars”, rights “endowed by our Creator” not by the local magistrate. Further into the gift bag we find the Athens/Jerusalem/Rome nexus. The Trivium. The scientific method. Critical inquiry. Reasoned Discourse. Mozart. Salk/Sabin. Walking on the Moon. The designated hitter.
Adulteresses not being stoned.
Am I naïve?
I heard the President say this morning that “Islam is part of the fabric of American life”. If that is the case why do have pork, ham, and bacon? Why hasn’t stoning caught on in our judicial system?
Not only is the Emperor naked but he has his head so far up his ass that he can check his own septum for deviations.
POP QUIZ
Which of the original DWEMs said
“Free men speak with free tongues”
Kevin Smith
Thursday, February 19, 2015
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
February 18, 2015
Congresswoman Frederica Wilson
10100 Pines Blvd. – B3
Pembroke Pines, FL 33025
RE: What to do? What to do? – Some comments on your unlinkable Op-Ed in the 2/15/15 edition of the Miami Herald on the soon to arrive wall of water that will be of biblical proportions with apocalyptic consequences.
My dear Congresslady,
Several years ago I sent you some Gorilla Glue and 10 nails suitable for a pneumatic hammer. I am sending twice as much this time. It is the only chance you have to keep what is left of your brains and common sense inside your skull. I am not asking you to shit in your hat and pull it down over your ears because you look good in brown. I am asking you to put the Gorilla Glue inside your favorite stylish cowgirl hat and pull it down over your ears. Then get a Black & Decker drill – Buy American! – and have a trusted assistant hammer them into your head.
As I was reading your Op-Ed on climate I was tempted to think you were part of the 40th anniversary of Saturday Night Live. I was wrong for 3 reasons:
#1 - Modern American Liberals are genetically incapable of humor.
#2 – They react to satire the way Dracula reacts to holy water, a cross, and dawn
#3 – You really believe that mumbo-jumbo Global Warming crap.
You speak of the Sino-American Carbon Cap agreement as if it were on par with the Treaty of Westphalia or Versailles.
El wrongo!
For an international agreement to have the force of law it must be submitted to the Senate for its advice and consent. 2/3rds of the Senators voting must approve of it.
The President will submit the agreement as soon as he finds an atlas naming the 57 states in the US, the equally elusive English-Austrian dictionary, and the mysterious 5th Gospel, the one written by the Venerable Murray
There is something you can do.
Try to follow the bouncing ball. I’ll type slowly.
Not quite half the electricity generated in this country comes from coal burning plants. Half of that power is used to A/C your house and your office.
Can you see where I am going here?
We have not built a coal fired plant in 40 years. China builds 90 – repeat - 90 a year.
Maybe because we owe them a gazillion dollars they know they can treat President Obama, and let me quickly add that he is the best President we have, the way a dog treats a fire hydrant. [Never stand between the dog and the fire hydrant]
TURN OFF ALL A/Cs!
You write, with nary a hint of humor nor a tinge of mirth, that “energy transformation can be the best policy for reducing unemployment”. Does that mean that Solyndra will rise again? Will it lead to a never-ending Summer of Recovery? We will reach and breach the horizon when that happens. The other sign will be when Newton is hit by an apple falling up.
It is a real possibility, one that cannot be dismissed lightly, that you are so Homericaly dumb, that you shouldn’t be allowed to operate heavy machinery. Ignorance, be it vincible or invincible, should not be a prerequisite for public office. On the other hand, even if it requires a set-aside, there will always be room at the public table for a lady of a certain age who dresses like she is Dale Evans.
Kevin Smith
PS – If 16 feet of water will soon be roaring across Biscayne Bay, doubtless coming from the angry bowels of the Bermuda Triangle, linking the Atlantic Ocean with the Alamo, I suggest you introduce legislation limiting the losses to the American public. Begin by ending Federally subsidized coastal flood insurance. Then stop the Federal Housing Authority from subsidizing construction of any housing projects in the path of the incoming tsunami. Also, stop Fannie Mae and Freddy Mac from buying any mortgages on property that will soon be a home for humping halibut, hake, and haddock. Why should taxpayers in Edina, MN, good citizens all, pay for our profligacy? Of course, you can always
TURN OFF ALL A/Cs!
Congresswoman Frederica Wilson
10100 Pines Blvd. – B3
Pembroke Pines, FL 33025
RE: What to do? What to do? – Some comments on your unlinkable Op-Ed in the 2/15/15 edition of the Miami Herald on the soon to arrive wall of water that will be of biblical proportions with apocalyptic consequences.
My dear Congresslady,
Several years ago I sent you some Gorilla Glue and 10 nails suitable for a pneumatic hammer. I am sending twice as much this time. It is the only chance you have to keep what is left of your brains and common sense inside your skull. I am not asking you to shit in your hat and pull it down over your ears because you look good in brown. I am asking you to put the Gorilla Glue inside your favorite stylish cowgirl hat and pull it down over your ears. Then get a Black & Decker drill – Buy American! – and have a trusted assistant hammer them into your head.
As I was reading your Op-Ed on climate I was tempted to think you were part of the 40th anniversary of Saturday Night Live. I was wrong for 3 reasons:
#1 - Modern American Liberals are genetically incapable of humor.
#2 – They react to satire the way Dracula reacts to holy water, a cross, and dawn
#3 – You really believe that mumbo-jumbo Global Warming crap.
You speak of the Sino-American Carbon Cap agreement as if it were on par with the Treaty of Westphalia or Versailles.
El wrongo!
For an international agreement to have the force of law it must be submitted to the Senate for its advice and consent. 2/3rds of the Senators voting must approve of it.
The President will submit the agreement as soon as he finds an atlas naming the 57 states in the US, the equally elusive English-Austrian dictionary, and the mysterious 5th Gospel, the one written by the Venerable Murray
There is something you can do.
Try to follow the bouncing ball. I’ll type slowly.
Not quite half the electricity generated in this country comes from coal burning plants. Half of that power is used to A/C your house and your office.
Can you see where I am going here?
We have not built a coal fired plant in 40 years. China builds 90 – repeat - 90 a year.
Maybe because we owe them a gazillion dollars they know they can treat President Obama, and let me quickly add that he is the best President we have, the way a dog treats a fire hydrant. [Never stand between the dog and the fire hydrant]
TURN OFF ALL A/Cs!
You write, with nary a hint of humor nor a tinge of mirth, that “energy transformation can be the best policy for reducing unemployment”. Does that mean that Solyndra will rise again? Will it lead to a never-ending Summer of Recovery? We will reach and breach the horizon when that happens. The other sign will be when Newton is hit by an apple falling up.
It is a real possibility, one that cannot be dismissed lightly, that you are so Homericaly dumb, that you shouldn’t be allowed to operate heavy machinery. Ignorance, be it vincible or invincible, should not be a prerequisite for public office. On the other hand, even if it requires a set-aside, there will always be room at the public table for a lady of a certain age who dresses like she is Dale Evans.
Kevin Smith
PS – If 16 feet of water will soon be roaring across Biscayne Bay, doubtless coming from the angry bowels of the Bermuda Triangle, linking the Atlantic Ocean with the Alamo, I suggest you introduce legislation limiting the losses to the American public. Begin by ending Federally subsidized coastal flood insurance. Then stop the Federal Housing Authority from subsidizing construction of any housing projects in the path of the incoming tsunami. Also, stop Fannie Mae and Freddy Mac from buying any mortgages on property that will soon be a home for humping halibut, hake, and haddock. Why should taxpayers in Edina, MN, good citizens all, pay for our profligacy? Of course, you can always
TURN OFF ALL A/Cs!
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
February 17, 2015
Congressman Patrick Murphy
2000 PGA Blvd #A3220
Palm Beach Gardens, FL 33408
RE: Reach out and help me – Some comments on your fulsome tongue bath of Hillary Clinton in today’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel.
Congressman Murphy,
I read the Wall Street Journal religiously. I am constantly hunting for a broker named Red Bone. Is it the former or the latter that will make me 100 times my money in cattle futures like Hillary Rodham Clinton did?
She wrote her senior thesis on Saul Alinsky. Can you get me a copy of it?
Would you think ill of me if I were to point out that she was hired by the largest law firm in Little Rock immediately after her husband was elected Attorney General?
Would you say that her being made a partner in the largest law firm in Little Rock immediately after her husband was elected Governor was a coincidence?
Was it her vast retail experience or the fact that she was a partner in the largest law firm in Little Rock and was married to the Governor that got her the job as a director of Walmart? Was her leaving Walmart the chief reason that it became a “bad” company or did she make it so?
Is there any truth to the rumor that she was willing to give Ricky Ray Rector a lap dance to keep him in the electric chair? Ricky Ray Rector? “tough on crime, particularly Black crime”, remember? The right to know the charges against you? The right to assist in your defense? Thank God for Google. I headr that she wanted to draw and quarter him and feed what was left to the dogs.
I think her use of a time-sales agreement rather than a mortgage for the conveyance of property in White water was worse than the surrounding fraud. If you default on a mortgage you get a day in court. If you default on a time-sales agreement they come and repo your car or take back the freezer.
When she tried to get HillaryCare made the law of the land in 1993 which Republican members of Congress did she reach out to? When did she do this? Why did she keep all the proceedings uber secret? What was she trying to hide?
When she said “Okie dokey artichokey” to Lani Guinier just before her defenestration from the White House did she really mean it?
Tell me again what those folks ion the White House travel office do to have her dump all over them in public?
What is Craig Livingstone doing these days?
Was she asked to be the poster girl for abused and humiliated wives or is that just a “vast Right-Wing” conspiracy canard?
Do you think she really was a Yankees fan?
Do you think she really wanted to join the Marines Corps? [That’s “corps”, not “corpse” as Obama says]
Do you think it’s true that she told her flunkies to take the letter “W” off all the typewriters in the White House when she left? Did she take the silver ware, the Kitchen-Aid blender, and one of the upstairs bidets when she left the White House?
How “broke” was she when she left the White House?
Under “fire” in Serbia? Maybe she should revise and extend her remarks on that one, no?
I think she should do more imitations of Black preachers. “I ain’t no way tired” was pitch perfect, remember?
The highlight of her Pennsylvania primary campaign was doing a shot of whiskey in the bowling alley. How about having her scratch her ample ass at a softball game? Why not have her “pick her feet in Poughkeepsie”? Have her do that to show her connection with blue collar dudes, even those who are “bitter clingers”. It is well worth the risk of people saying that she is a phony bastard.
How about an alumnae reunion of the ladies from the Bimbo Eruption?
Did she ever ride on the private jet of the convicted paedophile? If she did, was it reported?
Her cacophonous cackling, a sound that makes one yearn for fingernails on the blackboard, will be used to make non-Islamic terrorists confess, right?
Although she told the families of the murdered Benghazi diplomats that she would “get” whoever was responsible for the slaughter it came down to “At long last, what difference does it make”. While it I not as catchy as the New Deal or the New Frontier or even the Summer of Revival it grows on you like a pustule. Or a fistula.
I think she should use it.
Bill and Monica had “a bit of the gobble” in the Oval Office. Should she be elected will shucking her bearded clam become part of the SEAL selection process? After that, fighting the feral Islamic thugs of ISIS will be a day at the beach.
A pox on both of you.
Kevin Smith
Congressman Patrick Murphy
2000 PGA Blvd #A3220
Palm Beach Gardens, FL 33408
RE: Reach out and help me – Some comments on your fulsome tongue bath of Hillary Clinton in today’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel.
Congressman Murphy,
I read the Wall Street Journal religiously. I am constantly hunting for a broker named Red Bone. Is it the former or the latter that will make me 100 times my money in cattle futures like Hillary Rodham Clinton did?
She wrote her senior thesis on Saul Alinsky. Can you get me a copy of it?
Would you think ill of me if I were to point out that she was hired by the largest law firm in Little Rock immediately after her husband was elected Attorney General?
Would you say that her being made a partner in the largest law firm in Little Rock immediately after her husband was elected Governor was a coincidence?
Was it her vast retail experience or the fact that she was a partner in the largest law firm in Little Rock and was married to the Governor that got her the job as a director of Walmart? Was her leaving Walmart the chief reason that it became a “bad” company or did she make it so?
Is there any truth to the rumor that she was willing to give Ricky Ray Rector a lap dance to keep him in the electric chair? Ricky Ray Rector? “tough on crime, particularly Black crime”, remember? The right to know the charges against you? The right to assist in your defense? Thank God for Google. I headr that she wanted to draw and quarter him and feed what was left to the dogs.
I think her use of a time-sales agreement rather than a mortgage for the conveyance of property in White water was worse than the surrounding fraud. If you default on a mortgage you get a day in court. If you default on a time-sales agreement they come and repo your car or take back the freezer.
When she tried to get HillaryCare made the law of the land in 1993 which Republican members of Congress did she reach out to? When did she do this? Why did she keep all the proceedings uber secret? What was she trying to hide?
When she said “Okie dokey artichokey” to Lani Guinier just before her defenestration from the White House did she really mean it?
Tell me again what those folks ion the White House travel office do to have her dump all over them in public?
What is Craig Livingstone doing these days?
Was she asked to be the poster girl for abused and humiliated wives or is that just a “vast Right-Wing” conspiracy canard?
Do you think she really was a Yankees fan?
Do you think she really wanted to join the Marines Corps? [That’s “corps”, not “corpse” as Obama says]
Do you think it’s true that she told her flunkies to take the letter “W” off all the typewriters in the White House when she left? Did she take the silver ware, the Kitchen-Aid blender, and one of the upstairs bidets when she left the White House?
How “broke” was she when she left the White House?
Under “fire” in Serbia? Maybe she should revise and extend her remarks on that one, no?
I think she should do more imitations of Black preachers. “I ain’t no way tired” was pitch perfect, remember?
The highlight of her Pennsylvania primary campaign was doing a shot of whiskey in the bowling alley. How about having her scratch her ample ass at a softball game? Why not have her “pick her feet in Poughkeepsie”? Have her do that to show her connection with blue collar dudes, even those who are “bitter clingers”. It is well worth the risk of people saying that she is a phony bastard.
How about an alumnae reunion of the ladies from the Bimbo Eruption?
Did she ever ride on the private jet of the convicted paedophile? If she did, was it reported?
Her cacophonous cackling, a sound that makes one yearn for fingernails on the blackboard, will be used to make non-Islamic terrorists confess, right?
Although she told the families of the murdered Benghazi diplomats that she would “get” whoever was responsible for the slaughter it came down to “At long last, what difference does it make”. While it I not as catchy as the New Deal or the New Frontier or even the Summer of Revival it grows on you like a pustule. Or a fistula.
I think she should use it.
Bill and Monica had “a bit of the gobble” in the Oval Office. Should she be elected will shucking her bearded clam become part of the SEAL selection process? After that, fighting the feral Islamic thugs of ISIS will be a day at the beach.
A pox on both of you.
Kevin Smith
February 17, 2015
Mary Sanchez
Kansas City Star
RE: “The poor you will have with you always”, even if you are married. Some comments on your column about both topics in today’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel
Ms Sanchez,
It’s been some time since we corresponded. I see from the last paragraph of your column that nothing has changed. In its entirety…
“Here’s a tip to politicians who pontificate about the poor:
Approach their condition with empathy and humility, and
You might just figure out ways to actually be helpful.”
The Sun Sentinel
Today
You
Bed side manner is not about how you approach the patient’s condition. It is about how you approach the patient.
I am fighting the urge, not very successfully, to say that the patient/condition dichotomy is a trait most often found in card carrying, fire breathing modern American Liberals. Put differently, they love mankind but it’s the individuals that they have a problem with. Plus, it is a cardinal rule that facts can never interfere either with an academic argument or the implementation of a public policy, however absurd it is in its construct, however absurd its implementation, and however absurd is its predictable unintended consequences.
The Department of Education, the Department of Energy, and the Federal Housing Authority have been with us for 146 years.
Johnny still can’t read, Solyndra still sucks, and tenants in public housing share one common trait, it being that they will do anything to get out.
You pick the starting date.
Shovel ready jobs, the Great Society, the new Frontier, the New Deal, the Sermon on the Mount, you pick one or some or all.
Which ways have been “helpful”? Which ways haven’t been “helpful”? If the “helpful” ones have been “helpful” why is the problem still with us?
If we seek to improve the human condition by improving the conditions of humans would that not demand that we address the human spirit?
Have we not outlawed that by our love of secular solutions, all of which are politically correct, even the ones that don’t work?
I don’t know what the answer is. I know, by evidence of my own eyes and the overpowering verdict of History, what the answer isn’t.
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Mary Sanchez
Kansas City Star
RE: “The poor you will have with you always”, even if you are married. Some comments on your column about both topics in today’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel
Ms Sanchez,
It’s been some time since we corresponded. I see from the last paragraph of your column that nothing has changed. In its entirety…
“Here’s a tip to politicians who pontificate about the poor:
Approach their condition with empathy and humility, and
You might just figure out ways to actually be helpful.”
The Sun Sentinel
Today
You
Bed side manner is not about how you approach the patient’s condition. It is about how you approach the patient.
I am fighting the urge, not very successfully, to say that the patient/condition dichotomy is a trait most often found in card carrying, fire breathing modern American Liberals. Put differently, they love mankind but it’s the individuals that they have a problem with. Plus, it is a cardinal rule that facts can never interfere either with an academic argument or the implementation of a public policy, however absurd it is in its construct, however absurd its implementation, and however absurd is its predictable unintended consequences.
The Department of Education, the Department of Energy, and the Federal Housing Authority have been with us for 146 years.
Johnny still can’t read, Solyndra still sucks, and tenants in public housing share one common trait, it being that they will do anything to get out.
You pick the starting date.
Shovel ready jobs, the Great Society, the new Frontier, the New Deal, the Sermon on the Mount, you pick one or some or all.
Which ways have been “helpful”? Which ways haven’t been “helpful”? If the “helpful” ones have been “helpful” why is the problem still with us?
If we seek to improve the human condition by improving the conditions of humans would that not demand that we address the human spirit?
Have we not outlawed that by our love of secular solutions, all of which are politically correct, even the ones that don’t work?
I don’t know what the answer is. I know, by evidence of my own eyes and the overpowering verdict of History, what the answer isn’t.
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
February 11, 2015
Professor Katherine Westaway
Professor of non-male gender studies
University of Miami
Coral Gables, FL 33124
RE: All hail Gloria Steinem! – some comments on her love in at the University of Miami as reported in today’s unlinkable Miami Herald.
My dear Professor,
I looooooove ballsy broads.
Gloria Steinem, she of the perpetual hectoring and caterwauling about how women don’t really need men, was able for the sake of her business – And will anyone, anywhere admit to having read her wretched magazine? – let Mort Zuckerberg, that’s Mister Mort Zuckerberg, apparently a proud possessor of a functioning prostate gland, get a leg over on her whenever she was coming up short on meeting her payroll. That’s keeping her eye on the ball, so to speak.
Donna Shalala, your boss, told us in 1997 that we would all be dead from AIDS in 10 years. That was 18 years ago. It seems not to have impeded her career. No chance of a double standard, right?
But enough about “them”.
I have some bad news for “you”.
I’ll try to be gentle. I know this is the first time for you.
Even though non-male gender studies will surely be the key to success in the technologically driven 21st century I am obliged to tell you in all “fairness” that you are a victim of wage discrimination. President Obama, inter alia, tells us that because you have to sit down to pee you are paid 78% of what your male counterparts earn. [I doubt if the Mighty U has a non-female gender studies program though]
Since it would make no sense to protest by throwing your bra – assuming you wear one – at Ms. Shalala I suggest you throw it, being careful to remove it first, at football coach Al Golden. He seems like a sensitive dude.
I read, in several outlets, of the tongue bath for Gloria Steinem that you led yesterday. I bowed my head and thanked the Gods for allowing the word “bullshit” to survive the anti-intellectual purgative cum tsunami that modern American Liberalism demands of its votaries. It – “bullshit” - is the canary in the coal mine who warns us when it encounters folderol such as yours. Excuse me. Nit-wit claptrap folderlol. Bait in “traps set by knaves for fools” would better describe it.
3 things:
#1 –“Lysistrata” shows what can happen when the ladies get their heads together. Never underestimate the vertical smile of the always tempting bearded clam. Never underestimate the power of the horizontal tango.
#2 –Although I am becoming more sympathetic to Creon “Antigone” is my favorite literary character with “Fat Jack” a distant second.
#3 – There were several sightings of Dr. Johnson’s famous hind-walking dog at the U yesterday. Can you confirm?
Kevin Smith
PS – A few more things before I go.
A – If you have any problems with the literary references send me a SASE.
B – Is Wordsworth still on the chick-lit shit list?
C – I am thinking of doing a study of the nexus of feminism, the Bermuda Triangle, the Koch Brothers, and the bullying of transgendered, regendered, degenedered, and ungendered overweight teens. Would you be willing to help me?
D – Your website features Noam Chomsky and Margaret Sanger about whom pitchforks must be raised. I have been reading Chomsky since the glory days of the New Frontier, the days of Jack and Jackie and Bobbie and Marilyn. Send up a flare when you find 5 coherent sentences, in a row, in anything he has ever written. And, with regards to Margaret Sanger, is she the same person who was the proud eugenicist who wanted to cull the herd of undesirables? Is she the same Margaret Sanger whose views on race and breeding became the foundation of Hitler’s 1934 Nuremberg Race Laws? Is she the same Margaret Sanger whose views provided one-way, non-refundable tickets to Auschwitz? If you are talking of the other Margaret Sanger, the noted arborist, equestrienne, jelly maker, ball room dancer extraordinaire, world class bridge player, and her day’s foremost docent and doyenne of the now forgotten legendary Viennese Butterfly, you should tell us lest some of us feel ill about you.
Professor Katherine Westaway
Professor of non-male gender studies
University of Miami
Coral Gables, FL 33124
RE: All hail Gloria Steinem! – some comments on her love in at the University of Miami as reported in today’s unlinkable Miami Herald.
My dear Professor,
I looooooove ballsy broads.
Gloria Steinem, she of the perpetual hectoring and caterwauling about how women don’t really need men, was able for the sake of her business – And will anyone, anywhere admit to having read her wretched magazine? – let Mort Zuckerberg, that’s Mister Mort Zuckerberg, apparently a proud possessor of a functioning prostate gland, get a leg over on her whenever she was coming up short on meeting her payroll. That’s keeping her eye on the ball, so to speak.
Donna Shalala, your boss, told us in 1997 that we would all be dead from AIDS in 10 years. That was 18 years ago. It seems not to have impeded her career. No chance of a double standard, right?
But enough about “them”.
I have some bad news for “you”.
I’ll try to be gentle. I know this is the first time for you.
Even though non-male gender studies will surely be the key to success in the technologically driven 21st century I am obliged to tell you in all “fairness” that you are a victim of wage discrimination. President Obama, inter alia, tells us that because you have to sit down to pee you are paid 78% of what your male counterparts earn. [I doubt if the Mighty U has a non-female gender studies program though]
Since it would make no sense to protest by throwing your bra – assuming you wear one – at Ms. Shalala I suggest you throw it, being careful to remove it first, at football coach Al Golden. He seems like a sensitive dude.
I read, in several outlets, of the tongue bath for Gloria Steinem that you led yesterday. I bowed my head and thanked the Gods for allowing the word “bullshit” to survive the anti-intellectual purgative cum tsunami that modern American Liberalism demands of its votaries. It – “bullshit” - is the canary in the coal mine who warns us when it encounters folderol such as yours. Excuse me. Nit-wit claptrap folderlol. Bait in “traps set by knaves for fools” would better describe it.
3 things:
#1 –“Lysistrata” shows what can happen when the ladies get their heads together. Never underestimate the vertical smile of the always tempting bearded clam. Never underestimate the power of the horizontal tango.
#2 –Although I am becoming more sympathetic to Creon “Antigone” is my favorite literary character with “Fat Jack” a distant second.
#3 – There were several sightings of Dr. Johnson’s famous hind-walking dog at the U yesterday. Can you confirm?
Kevin Smith
PS – A few more things before I go.
A – If you have any problems with the literary references send me a SASE.
B – Is Wordsworth still on the chick-lit shit list?
C – I am thinking of doing a study of the nexus of feminism, the Bermuda Triangle, the Koch Brothers, and the bullying of transgendered, regendered, degenedered, and ungendered overweight teens. Would you be willing to help me?
D – Your website features Noam Chomsky and Margaret Sanger about whom pitchforks must be raised. I have been reading Chomsky since the glory days of the New Frontier, the days of Jack and Jackie and Bobbie and Marilyn. Send up a flare when you find 5 coherent sentences, in a row, in anything he has ever written. And, with regards to Margaret Sanger, is she the same person who was the proud eugenicist who wanted to cull the herd of undesirables? Is she the same Margaret Sanger whose views on race and breeding became the foundation of Hitler’s 1934 Nuremberg Race Laws? Is she the same Margaret Sanger whose views provided one-way, non-refundable tickets to Auschwitz? If you are talking of the other Margaret Sanger, the noted arborist, equestrienne, jelly maker, ball room dancer extraordinaire, world class bridge player, and her day’s foremost docent and doyenne of the now forgotten legendary Viennese Butterfly, you should tell us lest some of us feel ill about you.
Senator Bernie Sanders
1 Church Street
Burlington, VT 05401
RE: How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
Senator Sanders,
You must promise me, no fingers crossed, that you will never ever, under any circumstances, none whatsoever, change.
You are the paradigmatic template for modern American Liberals. It is rare to see a card carrying, fire breathing ohmadahn such as you saying such God awful stupid things. Since you seem not to be under the influence of drugs or alcohol it would seem that you believe, deep down, that Midnight Basketball and eternal wage and price controls will work if enough right minded people want it to work and are willing to make the sacrifices to see that it does.
Unlike Jay Forbes Kerry, a man whose great talent was marrying up – twice – or Albert Arnold Gore, Jr, AKA Alpha Gump, a man whose father was a bigoted Senator who opposed every piece of civil rights legislation in the 60s in addition to being a bag man for Armand Hammer, someone who worked for Lenin, Stalin, Khrushchev, and the other thugs, you are the real thing
I have seen you on TV enough to know that you believe truly, deeply, sincerely, unapologetically, that you can – A – reach And go past the horizon and – B – and once you regain control of Congress you will repeal once and for all the laws and rules governing gravity.
I saw you this AM on C-SPAN with E. J. Dionne asking tough questions like is this the year the Summer of Revival gets here early, late, or ever.
All that was missing was “I Dreamt I Saw Joe Hill”, “Workers of the World Unite” and a watered down version of the Internationale
I search in Vain for my once favorite tee shirt, the one that says
SOUNDS LIKE BULLSHIT TO ME.
Please, please run for President.
If you can’t please try to get Senator Squaw Warrren [D-MA] to run.
Speaking of issues…Secretary Clinton, once a member of the Board of Directors of Walmart, gets so much money from Wall Street that she has to go to FedEx to weigh it.
Should she get the nomination will you support her?
On a more personal note should I hold on to my Solyndra bonds? Also, Secretary Kerry tried to skip out on paying Massachusetts $500,000 in sales tax on the boat that he had built in New Zealand because labor was so much cheaper there. Is t hat what you mean when you rale against tax cheats? How about an executive order on your first day in the White House mandating that boats built for Congressmen and cabinet members must be built in the United States?
Kevin Smith
1 Church Street
Burlington, VT 05401
RE: How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
Senator Sanders,
You must promise me, no fingers crossed, that you will never ever, under any circumstances, none whatsoever, change.
You are the paradigmatic template for modern American Liberals. It is rare to see a card carrying, fire breathing ohmadahn such as you saying such God awful stupid things. Since you seem not to be under the influence of drugs or alcohol it would seem that you believe, deep down, that Midnight Basketball and eternal wage and price controls will work if enough right minded people want it to work and are willing to make the sacrifices to see that it does.
Unlike Jay Forbes Kerry, a man whose great talent was marrying up – twice – or Albert Arnold Gore, Jr, AKA Alpha Gump, a man whose father was a bigoted Senator who opposed every piece of civil rights legislation in the 60s in addition to being a bag man for Armand Hammer, someone who worked for Lenin, Stalin, Khrushchev, and the other thugs, you are the real thing
I have seen you on TV enough to know that you believe truly, deeply, sincerely, unapologetically, that you can – A – reach And go past the horizon and – B – and once you regain control of Congress you will repeal once and for all the laws and rules governing gravity.
I saw you this AM on C-SPAN with E. J. Dionne asking tough questions like is this the year the Summer of Revival gets here early, late, or ever.
All that was missing was “I Dreamt I Saw Joe Hill”, “Workers of the World Unite” and a watered down version of the Internationale
I search in Vain for my once favorite tee shirt, the one that says
SOUNDS LIKE BULLSHIT TO ME.
Please, please run for President.
If you can’t please try to get Senator Squaw Warrren [D-MA] to run.
Speaking of issues…Secretary Clinton, once a member of the Board of Directors of Walmart, gets so much money from Wall Street that she has to go to FedEx to weigh it.
Should she get the nomination will you support her?
On a more personal note should I hold on to my Solyndra bonds? Also, Secretary Kerry tried to skip out on paying Massachusetts $500,000 in sales tax on the boat that he had built in New Zealand because labor was so much cheaper there. Is t hat what you mean when you rale against tax cheats? How about an executive order on your first day in the White House mandating that boats built for Congressmen and cabinet members must be built in the United States?
Kevin Smith
February 10, 2015
Karen Woodall
Florida Center for Fiscal & Economic Policy
579 East Call Street
Tallahassee, FL32301
RE: “Life isn’t fair” – Some comments on your unlinkable OP-ED in today’s Sun Sentinel on why raising taxes is the only “fair” thing to do.
Ms Woodall,
I am trying to be “fair” here. It is very tempting to say, based on what you wrote, that you are dumb. In a burst of post-racial “fairness” and because the “earth has cooled and the oceans are calmed” I am just going to say that there is so, so much that you don’t know. “Fairness” to the overworked and underpaid staff at the local emergency room – particularly all the female members who earn 78% of what their male counterparts do and won’t they be pissed off if and when they ever find out – requires me to remind you that you shouldn’t handle sharp instruments and you shouldn’t operate heavy equipment.
You say “…Florida relies heavily on sales and excise taxes. These taxes are considered the most regressive because they do not take income levels into account.”
Wouldn’t it be “fair” to stop charging poor people for stamps, newspapers, and cable [basic]? How about free movies? Wouldn’t it be “fair” to waive all taxes on alcohol and tobacco?
I am sure rich people, particularly modern American Liberals, would be more than willing in the name of “fairness” to pay a wee bit more.
You cite a study from the Florida Center for Fiscal & Economic Policy, an institution that fits neatly into the ever expanding moon bat, wing nut, couldn’t hit the floor if you fell out of bed niche. I am sure the Voice of the Turtle will be heard in HQ when this year’s Summer of Revival is announced.
The policy says “…research literature suggests that tax policy may not be a cost-effective means of creating jobs…”
Herewith a modest proposal to prove that.
#1 – Get some candidates who believe that to run for office.
#2 – Win a few elections.
#3 – Take over state government.
#4 – Flip a coin to see whether California or New York becomes the paradigmatic
template to base your test. Why not take the best of both?
Do you remember in February, 2009 when President Obama told about 100 Republican members of Congress “There was an election last year. I won.”
I do.
Your path is simple and well-marked.
You go, girl!
Kevin Smith
PS – You say that Florida is “49th in state and local spending for education”. No political entity in the known universe spends more per pupil than Washington, DC. Why then does the president spend $125,000 to send his 2 kids to day school? Shouldn’t “fairness” have dictated that they go to any of the really great DC public schools? Don’t you think it would be “fair” if every elected official was mandated to send their children to public schools. One last thing. In your mission statement you mention “quality of life outcomes”. What in the name of the tooth fairy, the patron saint of modern American Liberalism, is “quality of life outcomes”?
Karen Woodall
Florida Center for Fiscal & Economic Policy
579 East Call Street
Tallahassee, FL32301
RE: “Life isn’t fair” – Some comments on your unlinkable OP-ED in today’s Sun Sentinel on why raising taxes is the only “fair” thing to do.
Ms Woodall,
I am trying to be “fair” here. It is very tempting to say, based on what you wrote, that you are dumb. In a burst of post-racial “fairness” and because the “earth has cooled and the oceans are calmed” I am just going to say that there is so, so much that you don’t know. “Fairness” to the overworked and underpaid staff at the local emergency room – particularly all the female members who earn 78% of what their male counterparts do and won’t they be pissed off if and when they ever find out – requires me to remind you that you shouldn’t handle sharp instruments and you shouldn’t operate heavy equipment.
You say “…Florida relies heavily on sales and excise taxes. These taxes are considered the most regressive because they do not take income levels into account.”
Wouldn’t it be “fair” to stop charging poor people for stamps, newspapers, and cable [basic]? How about free movies? Wouldn’t it be “fair” to waive all taxes on alcohol and tobacco?
I am sure rich people, particularly modern American Liberals, would be more than willing in the name of “fairness” to pay a wee bit more.
You cite a study from the Florida Center for Fiscal & Economic Policy, an institution that fits neatly into the ever expanding moon bat, wing nut, couldn’t hit the floor if you fell out of bed niche. I am sure the Voice of the Turtle will be heard in HQ when this year’s Summer of Revival is announced.
The policy says “…research literature suggests that tax policy may not be a cost-effective means of creating jobs…”
Herewith a modest proposal to prove that.
#1 – Get some candidates who believe that to run for office.
#2 – Win a few elections.
#3 – Take over state government.
#4 – Flip a coin to see whether California or New York becomes the paradigmatic
template to base your test. Why not take the best of both?
Do you remember in February, 2009 when President Obama told about 100 Republican members of Congress “There was an election last year. I won.”
I do.
Your path is simple and well-marked.
You go, girl!
Kevin Smith
PS – You say that Florida is “49th in state and local spending for education”. No political entity in the known universe spends more per pupil than Washington, DC. Why then does the president spend $125,000 to send his 2 kids to day school? Shouldn’t “fairness” have dictated that they go to any of the really great DC public schools? Don’t you think it would be “fair” if every elected official was mandated to send their children to public schools. One last thing. In your mission statement you mention “quality of life outcomes”. What in the name of the tooth fairy, the patron saint of modern American Liberalism, is “quality of life outcomes”?
February 9, 2015
Do you remember when Congresswoman Maxine Waters – And how in the name of “fairness” have they kept her in line what with her being paid only 78% of what one of those bitterly clinging, macho, cojones grandes Congressmen from the “crazy” state of Texas gets? – described video of a slew of her constituents looting a 7-11 the way a school of piranha takes a 3 legged fawn apart as “alternative shopping”?
I do.
As acting deputy vice chair of the South Broward County Orwell Appreciation & Tippling Society I looooooove words and terms like that.
Contrary to public opinion, an opinion shared by those who have never read him, he is not turning over in his grave. He is sitting quietly on a hillside, a copy of “Gods of the Copybook Headings” at hand, saying “I told you so”.
We are not in Catalonia but keep it in mind.
I share a problem with brain Williams
For the longest time I “misremembered” the events of the bombing of Tokyo in April, 1942.
It was I, not Doolittle, who led the raid. He had a severe case of the nautical brown squirts, doubtless brought on by an ill digested potato. He had to wear rubber knickers lest he short out the electrical gear on plane #2.
After a perfect takeoff from the pitching deck of the USS Mitty I had to perform a one-handed tracheotomy using his silver bars in lieu of a scalpel on my co-pilot Fritzie Munchausen. He died in 1992 after a botched tattoo session. He had filled up his chest, his shoulders, his arms, and his back and was now working on his arse with profiles of me.
In a practice run over Mt. Fuji I had to climb down and hand crank the bomb bay doors open
I came in low and slow, impervious to WW2 RPGs and AK 27 and 37 fire, cementing my well-earned sobriquet “Old Iron Pants”. I caught the Emperor with his kimono down as he was watering and fertilizing his chrysanthemum trees. I came round again and pickled him with two 500 pounders. Blotto. His evil twin, Thereihito, filled in for him for the rest of the war. I even got his dog, a motley Pekinese, that belonged to the virginal daughter of the Mayor of Nanking, before she was raped, disemboweled, crucified for the afternoon entertainment of the feared Yellow Peril Brigade.
“The little yellow fucking rat monkey bastards”, as Admiral Halsey, another Jersey guy like me and Williams, always lived up to their press releases.
It gets a bit dicey here.
I am pretty sure I “misremembered” my part in those events
The sceptic in me began to ask some tough questions, questions like “How could you have down that in April, 1942 when you weren’t born until October, 1943”?
I do remember my navigator, Lt. Icarus, exhorting me to keep going. Higher! Faster!
I remember I had loaded my personal weapon with special ammo that the refs in Geneva would not have approved of had they seen it. Hollow point shell filled with depleted hubris. Anywhere close and you are going down, sucka!
Here comes the hard part.
The 12 step program that helps you “unmisremember” has a difficult 1st step. You must stand on the hood of your car in the middle of a busy intersection and say over and over and over and over
I AM A LYING SACK OFF ELL SHIT
The next one is hard also.
You are tied to a saddle on a fake donkey facing backwards with your pants on fire. [That’s why it’s a fake donkey] School children fling flaming bags of cat shit at you as you are led around. I forgot the dunce cap.
It’s not as hard as it sounds.
The 12th step is what separates the mere fibbers form the genetically implanted fabulists.
Your tongue is split by a bad ass laser before it is stapled to the roof of your mouth just after your uvula is plucked. Your lips are then Gorilla Glued shut. Then, Maat, the Goddess of Truth, will be appeased.
Maybe.
So far there have been no relapses or recidivists.
Honest.
All is not lost.
Pee Wee Herman is putting together a dinner club tour. He needs a foil.
And for Valentine’s Day I will introduce my new song “Nessun Dorma”. Seats are going fast. Call now. Visa/MC accepted.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Do you remember when Congresswoman Maxine Waters – And how in the name of “fairness” have they kept her in line what with her being paid only 78% of what one of those bitterly clinging, macho, cojones grandes Congressmen from the “crazy” state of Texas gets? – described video of a slew of her constituents looting a 7-11 the way a school of piranha takes a 3 legged fawn apart as “alternative shopping”?
I do.
As acting deputy vice chair of the South Broward County Orwell Appreciation & Tippling Society I looooooove words and terms like that.
Contrary to public opinion, an opinion shared by those who have never read him, he is not turning over in his grave. He is sitting quietly on a hillside, a copy of “Gods of the Copybook Headings” at hand, saying “I told you so”.
We are not in Catalonia but keep it in mind.
I share a problem with brain Williams
For the longest time I “misremembered” the events of the bombing of Tokyo in April, 1942.
It was I, not Doolittle, who led the raid. He had a severe case of the nautical brown squirts, doubtless brought on by an ill digested potato. He had to wear rubber knickers lest he short out the electrical gear on plane #2.
After a perfect takeoff from the pitching deck of the USS Mitty I had to perform a one-handed tracheotomy using his silver bars in lieu of a scalpel on my co-pilot Fritzie Munchausen. He died in 1992 after a botched tattoo session. He had filled up his chest, his shoulders, his arms, and his back and was now working on his arse with profiles of me.
In a practice run over Mt. Fuji I had to climb down and hand crank the bomb bay doors open
I came in low and slow, impervious to WW2 RPGs and AK 27 and 37 fire, cementing my well-earned sobriquet “Old Iron Pants”. I caught the Emperor with his kimono down as he was watering and fertilizing his chrysanthemum trees. I came round again and pickled him with two 500 pounders. Blotto. His evil twin, Thereihito, filled in for him for the rest of the war. I even got his dog, a motley Pekinese, that belonged to the virginal daughter of the Mayor of Nanking, before she was raped, disemboweled, crucified for the afternoon entertainment of the feared Yellow Peril Brigade.
“The little yellow fucking rat monkey bastards”, as Admiral Halsey, another Jersey guy like me and Williams, always lived up to their press releases.
It gets a bit dicey here.
I am pretty sure I “misremembered” my part in those events
The sceptic in me began to ask some tough questions, questions like “How could you have down that in April, 1942 when you weren’t born until October, 1943”?
I do remember my navigator, Lt. Icarus, exhorting me to keep going. Higher! Faster!
I remember I had loaded my personal weapon with special ammo that the refs in Geneva would not have approved of had they seen it. Hollow point shell filled with depleted hubris. Anywhere close and you are going down, sucka!
Here comes the hard part.
The 12 step program that helps you “unmisremember” has a difficult 1st step. You must stand on the hood of your car in the middle of a busy intersection and say over and over and over and over
I AM A LYING SACK OFF ELL SHIT
The next one is hard also.
You are tied to a saddle on a fake donkey facing backwards with your pants on fire. [That’s why it’s a fake donkey] School children fling flaming bags of cat shit at you as you are led around. I forgot the dunce cap.
It’s not as hard as it sounds.
The 12th step is what separates the mere fibbers form the genetically implanted fabulists.
Your tongue is split by a bad ass laser before it is stapled to the roof of your mouth just after your uvula is plucked. Your lips are then Gorilla Glued shut. Then, Maat, the Goddess of Truth, will be appeased.
Maybe.
So far there have been no relapses or recidivists.
Honest.
All is not lost.
Pee Wee Herman is putting together a dinner club tour. He needs a foil.
And for Valentine’s Day I will introduce my new song “Nessun Dorma”. Seats are going fast. Call now. Visa/MC accepted.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Saturday, February 7, 2015
February 7, 2015
Letter to the Editor
The sun Sentinel’
500 E. Broward Blvd
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394
RE: “BEAR HUNT A SAD COMMENTARY ON PEOPLE” - A few modest comments on your unbelievably named unlinkable editorial in today’s Sun Sentinel.
Sirs,
In a week featuring turbaned, zealots burning people alive, in a week featuring a TV news anchor lying like a rug, in a week where a President in the finest tu quoque fashion reminds up of the chilling effect of the 9 century old Crusades and the slippery slope of the 5 century old Inquisition it is refreshing that you, the proud standard bearer and purveyor of all the nit-wit clap trap that modern American Liberalism demands of its ink-stained votaries, you have struck a perfect chord.
After the morning sacrifice of Logic and reason to the great Goddess Gaia you have come back from the temple and proclaimed
DOWN WITH PEOPLE!
UP WITH BEARS!
There is a simple fact, an inconvenient one certainly, that you fail to include in your sermon. The cute cubs are told as they suckle
YOU ARE A BEAR
THERE IS NO WORD IN BEAR TALK FOR VEGAN
IF YOU WANT TO EAT YOU HAVE TO KILL
When I moved to Florida in 1996, 4 years before we were told by very smart people that we would either starve to death or freeze to death with the smart money being on a 2 horse parlay, I advocated killing all the manatees as a source of sausage for the homeless. Alas, the plan failed to gain traction.
I advocated importing mad cows from England to provide cursory targets for Florida’s endangered, but still proud and noble, panthers. Again, I was before my time.
In my beloved New Jersey the Everglades would go by its proper name: Swamp.
That is why when Marjorie Stoneman Douglas, a woman who made a comfortable living for more than 69 years convincing guilty middle class White people t despite empirical evidence to the contrary that swamps were good for them died I suggested a Viking funeral of sorts for her. Strap her to a motorized. Floating wheel chair and launch her from the middle of Alligator Alley. Beat the drums like was done in King Kong. Give the predators she so loved a chance of a square if sparse but certainly gluten free meal. I can think of no better end for a naturalist than to become part of the food chain, to become the last arc in the circle of life.
That too was rejected.
I am nothing if not persistent.
When I got here I was told that manatees must be protected because they were weal and submissive.
Now I am told that bears must be protected because they are wild and aggressive.
Then you hector me with neither a hint of irony nor a tinge of sarcasm that because 61% of the people surveyed oppose bear hunting we should encourage them to breed, multiply, and do what bears do. Bears don’t discriminate. If you are made of organic material they will hunt you down, they will kill you, and they will eat you.
May I ask, stifling a chuckle, why 61% of the people who are opposed to bear hunting can set public policy on 4 legged predators why 62% of the Florida electorate cannot set public policy on 2 legged marriages with no hope of issue?
Bears, manatees, whooping cranes, furbish louseworts, snail darters, unicorns, yetis, undiscovered denizens form the unknown depths of the Bermuda Triangle and/or Atlantis…where does it end?
I remind you of what Faulkner – Have the Word Police banned him yet? Is it still PC to cite him? – said when he accepted his Nobel Prize.
“MAN WILL NOT ONLY ENDURE; HE WILL PREVAIL”
Put differently, my Aunt from Hester Street says
‘”SOME DAYS YOU EAT THE BEAR. SOME DAYS THE BEAR EATS YOU.”
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
PS – If the Florida Air National Guard has some underutilized A-10 Warthogs, the all-time tank killer, on the tarmac let them use some ammo approaching expiration date on these moving targets.
Letter to the Editor
The sun Sentinel’
500 E. Broward Blvd
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394
RE: “BEAR HUNT A SAD COMMENTARY ON PEOPLE” - A few modest comments on your unbelievably named unlinkable editorial in today’s Sun Sentinel.
Sirs,
In a week featuring turbaned, zealots burning people alive, in a week featuring a TV news anchor lying like a rug, in a week where a President in the finest tu quoque fashion reminds up of the chilling effect of the 9 century old Crusades and the slippery slope of the 5 century old Inquisition it is refreshing that you, the proud standard bearer and purveyor of all the nit-wit clap trap that modern American Liberalism demands of its ink-stained votaries, you have struck a perfect chord.
After the morning sacrifice of Logic and reason to the great Goddess Gaia you have come back from the temple and proclaimed
DOWN WITH PEOPLE!
UP WITH BEARS!
There is a simple fact, an inconvenient one certainly, that you fail to include in your sermon. The cute cubs are told as they suckle
YOU ARE A BEAR
THERE IS NO WORD IN BEAR TALK FOR VEGAN
IF YOU WANT TO EAT YOU HAVE TO KILL
When I moved to Florida in 1996, 4 years before we were told by very smart people that we would either starve to death or freeze to death with the smart money being on a 2 horse parlay, I advocated killing all the manatees as a source of sausage for the homeless. Alas, the plan failed to gain traction.
I advocated importing mad cows from England to provide cursory targets for Florida’s endangered, but still proud and noble, panthers. Again, I was before my time.
In my beloved New Jersey the Everglades would go by its proper name: Swamp.
That is why when Marjorie Stoneman Douglas, a woman who made a comfortable living for more than 69 years convincing guilty middle class White people t despite empirical evidence to the contrary that swamps were good for them died I suggested a Viking funeral of sorts for her. Strap her to a motorized. Floating wheel chair and launch her from the middle of Alligator Alley. Beat the drums like was done in King Kong. Give the predators she so loved a chance of a square if sparse but certainly gluten free meal. I can think of no better end for a naturalist than to become part of the food chain, to become the last arc in the circle of life.
That too was rejected.
I am nothing if not persistent.
When I got here I was told that manatees must be protected because they were weal and submissive.
Now I am told that bears must be protected because they are wild and aggressive.
Then you hector me with neither a hint of irony nor a tinge of sarcasm that because 61% of the people surveyed oppose bear hunting we should encourage them to breed, multiply, and do what bears do. Bears don’t discriminate. If you are made of organic material they will hunt you down, they will kill you, and they will eat you.
May I ask, stifling a chuckle, why 61% of the people who are opposed to bear hunting can set public policy on 4 legged predators why 62% of the Florida electorate cannot set public policy on 2 legged marriages with no hope of issue?
Bears, manatees, whooping cranes, furbish louseworts, snail darters, unicorns, yetis, undiscovered denizens form the unknown depths of the Bermuda Triangle and/or Atlantis…where does it end?
I remind you of what Faulkner – Have the Word Police banned him yet? Is it still PC to cite him? – said when he accepted his Nobel Prize.
“MAN WILL NOT ONLY ENDURE; HE WILL PREVAIL”
Put differently, my Aunt from Hester Street says
‘”SOME DAYS YOU EAT THE BEAR. SOME DAYS THE BEAR EATS YOU.”
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
PS – If the Florida Air National Guard has some underutilized A-10 Warthogs, the all-time tank killer, on the tarmac let them use some ammo approaching expiration date on these moving targets.
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
February 3, 2015
Robert McIntyre
Citizens for Tax Justice
@The Sun Sentinel Op-Ed
500 E Broward Blvd
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394
RE: Is it true that the Tooth Fairy lives at the bottom of a wishing well? Some comments on your hilarious Op-Ed in today’s Sun Sentinel with the really funny part being that you mean every word of it.
Mr. McIntyre,
If you believe that raising taxes on corporations will result in increasing net revenue to the people of the United States of America through their untamed, unchained, power grabbing, one time servants, the IRS louts of theFederal government you also believe any and all of the following:
#1 – The Bermuda Triangle
#2 – Atlantis
#3 – The Easter Bunny
#4 – “I will calm the seas and cool the earth”
#5 – Reset buttons
#6 – Rainbow stew
#7 – Balloon juice
#8 – Pasta bushes
#9 – The War on Poverty
#10 - #1 through #9 cubed
Of course I realize that I may be making my point, as is oft-times said in Las Vegas, the hard way. Alas, one of the building blocks of modern American Liberalism, as virulent and as drug resistant a virus as is to be found on the planet, is the willing suspension of either belief or disbelief of its apostles as the situation requires.
“Shovel ready jobs” and perpetual “Summers of Recovery”, and without hope however impossible, how could Democrats survive, are but the latest chapters in the ongoing fantasy soap opera entitled “Gravity – Who Needs It”?
Now that I have your attention I must give you the empirically self-evident bad news.
CORPORATIONS DON’T PAY TAXES.
NEVER HAVE. NEVER WILL.
Taxes are like salaries, insurance premiums, loan payments, 3 martini lunches, “Golden Parachutes”, charitable contributions, stock buy backs, R & D, raw materials, legal fees….Raise your hand if I am going too fast for you. I’ll type more slowly.
Taxes are but one more expense to be borne by the shareholders. [The most recent exception to this was Solyndra. Here all the risk and all the losses were borne by the American taxpayer. Well played, Obama. Well played.]
You make 2 statements of note in your unlinkable screed in today’s Sun Sentinel.
“…the plan would deprive the U.S. Treasury of $1.7 trillion dollars.”
A quick glance of my copy of the Constitution shows that the word deprive and its Logical antecedent entitle are nowhere to be found.
Honest. Look it up.
“…Americans overwhelmingly think…”
If taking a poll of Americans is how you construct economic policy would not Logic dictate that social policy should be set the same way?
62% of Florida’s electorate voted against same sex marriage.
No state in the Union, most particularly including California, has ever approved same sex marriage when the issue was put to it in a voting booth. Polls, depending on who asks and how the question is asked, can be skewed both alop and awry. In the privacy of a voting booth the truth will out.
Why then are we on the verge of Mr & Mr wedding invitations?
Honest. Look it up.
Would I be a nag if I were to point out that we borrowed and spent $1,000,000,000,000 – that’s one trillion. I hope I have enough zeros – 5 years ago on “shovel ready jobs” to beef up our aging infrastructure? I would hate to think that the “shovels” weren’t quite as “ready” as the government told us.
Do you think they lied? Find out and get back to me, please.
There is a marvelous scene in Butch Cassidy where the soon to be killed rico hombre says
“MORONS. I AM SURROUNDED BY MORONS.”
I now know where his ghost lives.
Kevin Smith
PS – Imagine, as Churchill said in describing the practical effects of Socialism, a man standing in a bucket and trying to pick himself up by the handle. Do you think it’s time for a 105% tax bracket? That would be “fair”, wouldn’t it?
Robert McIntyre
Citizens for Tax Justice
@The Sun Sentinel Op-Ed
500 E Broward Blvd
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394
RE: Is it true that the Tooth Fairy lives at the bottom of a wishing well? Some comments on your hilarious Op-Ed in today’s Sun Sentinel with the really funny part being that you mean every word of it.
Mr. McIntyre,
If you believe that raising taxes on corporations will result in increasing net revenue to the people of the United States of America through their untamed, unchained, power grabbing, one time servants, the IRS louts of theFederal government you also believe any and all of the following:
#1 – The Bermuda Triangle
#2 – Atlantis
#3 – The Easter Bunny
#4 – “I will calm the seas and cool the earth”
#5 – Reset buttons
#6 – Rainbow stew
#7 – Balloon juice
#8 – Pasta bushes
#9 – The War on Poverty
#10 - #1 through #9 cubed
Of course I realize that I may be making my point, as is oft-times said in Las Vegas, the hard way. Alas, one of the building blocks of modern American Liberalism, as virulent and as drug resistant a virus as is to be found on the planet, is the willing suspension of either belief or disbelief of its apostles as the situation requires.
“Shovel ready jobs” and perpetual “Summers of Recovery”, and without hope however impossible, how could Democrats survive, are but the latest chapters in the ongoing fantasy soap opera entitled “Gravity – Who Needs It”?
Now that I have your attention I must give you the empirically self-evident bad news.
CORPORATIONS DON’T PAY TAXES.
NEVER HAVE. NEVER WILL.
Taxes are like salaries, insurance premiums, loan payments, 3 martini lunches, “Golden Parachutes”, charitable contributions, stock buy backs, R & D, raw materials, legal fees….Raise your hand if I am going too fast for you. I’ll type more slowly.
Taxes are but one more expense to be borne by the shareholders. [The most recent exception to this was Solyndra. Here all the risk and all the losses were borne by the American taxpayer. Well played, Obama. Well played.]
You make 2 statements of note in your unlinkable screed in today’s Sun Sentinel.
“…the plan would deprive the U.S. Treasury of $1.7 trillion dollars.”
A quick glance of my copy of the Constitution shows that the word deprive and its Logical antecedent entitle are nowhere to be found.
Honest. Look it up.
“…Americans overwhelmingly think…”
If taking a poll of Americans is how you construct economic policy would not Logic dictate that social policy should be set the same way?
62% of Florida’s electorate voted against same sex marriage.
No state in the Union, most particularly including California, has ever approved same sex marriage when the issue was put to it in a voting booth. Polls, depending on who asks and how the question is asked, can be skewed both alop and awry. In the privacy of a voting booth the truth will out.
Why then are we on the verge of Mr & Mr wedding invitations?
Honest. Look it up.
Would I be a nag if I were to point out that we borrowed and spent $1,000,000,000,000 – that’s one trillion. I hope I have enough zeros – 5 years ago on “shovel ready jobs” to beef up our aging infrastructure? I would hate to think that the “shovels” weren’t quite as “ready” as the government told us.
Do you think they lied? Find out and get back to me, please.
There is a marvelous scene in Butch Cassidy where the soon to be killed rico hombre says
“MORONS. I AM SURROUNDED BY MORONS.”
I now know where his ghost lives.
Kevin Smith
PS – Imagine, as Churchill said in describing the practical effects of Socialism, a man standing in a bucket and trying to pick himself up by the handle. Do you think it’s time for a 105% tax bracket? That would be “fair”, wouldn’t it?
Sunday, February 1, 2015
February 1, 2015
Mitchell Berger, Esq.
Berger Singer
350 Las Olas Blvd.
Fort Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: “Anticipation is the greater joy” – Maybe
Mr. Berger,
As I eagerly await the announcement of your firm’s decision to stop handling either side of any real estate transaction where the property is touched by saline water I need some environmental help.
An oaf with Miami/Dade Courthouse connections is now the point man of our Southern neighbor in out-Canuting Canute.
No sense asking him. He’s still trying to figure out what to do with his thumbs. Out of respect for his handicap I won’t ask him. Talk about being pranked! Some cruel people named a firggin’ manatee after him and he wet his pants thanking them.
Here’s the question.
Miami Beach is installing scores of pumps to fight the inevitable never ending high tide. We know that the Koch Brothers and Walmart are behind this but that’s a different question.
When the water starts to come in in a manner that would impress Noah and the pumps kick in where, pray tell, is the water going to go?
You can’t pump it East or South. Look at a map for the reason why. You can’t pump it North because the modern American Liberals in Broward County are champions of NIMBY. If you pump it West you endanger the misunderstood anacondas, the Florida panthers, and the gamboling gambling Redskins.
That leaves Utopia. By the by, you do know that utopia means Nowhere, don’t you?
I guess that leaves them in a box that, alas, ain’t waterproof. Maybe Solyndra, rising from the ashes like a corporate Phoenix, can figure out what to do with the H2O, with a lot of H2O.
I am betting that you will have Katy Perry make the announcement about your firm’s courageous decision to shun water related real estate business.
Last week you said that free college is good. How about a free Super Bowl next year? Bread and circuses worked for a while, remember?
Kevin Smith
PS – I am sending you a copy of a letter I sent to Lois Frankel, my Congresswoman. I think it is self-explanatory. It is 1:45 Sunday afternoon. Although I coached and played football I have had more than enough with analyses of 3rd down tendencies in the red zone and Tampa 2 coverage as an invitation to an inside running game. I will say that screwing around with the footballs is something that any crony capitalist from Massachusetts would be All-Pro at. Wasn’t Kraft a White House Lincoln Bedroom regular? I don’ know if you have kids but if you did please tell me that they went to public schools.
Mitchell Berger, Esq.
Berger Singer
350 Las Olas Blvd.
Fort Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: “Anticipation is the greater joy” – Maybe
Mr. Berger,
As I eagerly await the announcement of your firm’s decision to stop handling either side of any real estate transaction where the property is touched by saline water I need some environmental help.
An oaf with Miami/Dade Courthouse connections is now the point man of our Southern neighbor in out-Canuting Canute.
No sense asking him. He’s still trying to figure out what to do with his thumbs. Out of respect for his handicap I won’t ask him. Talk about being pranked! Some cruel people named a firggin’ manatee after him and he wet his pants thanking them.
Here’s the question.
Miami Beach is installing scores of pumps to fight the inevitable never ending high tide. We know that the Koch Brothers and Walmart are behind this but that’s a different question.
When the water starts to come in in a manner that would impress Noah and the pumps kick in where, pray tell, is the water going to go?
You can’t pump it East or South. Look at a map for the reason why. You can’t pump it North because the modern American Liberals in Broward County are champions of NIMBY. If you pump it West you endanger the misunderstood anacondas, the Florida panthers, and the gamboling gambling Redskins.
That leaves Utopia. By the by, you do know that utopia means Nowhere, don’t you?
I guess that leaves them in a box that, alas, ain’t waterproof. Maybe Solyndra, rising from the ashes like a corporate Phoenix, can figure out what to do with the H2O, with a lot of H2O.
I am betting that you will have Katy Perry make the announcement about your firm’s courageous decision to shun water related real estate business.
Last week you said that free college is good. How about a free Super Bowl next year? Bread and circuses worked for a while, remember?
Kevin Smith
PS – I am sending you a copy of a letter I sent to Lois Frankel, my Congresswoman. I think it is self-explanatory. It is 1:45 Sunday afternoon. Although I coached and played football I have had more than enough with analyses of 3rd down tendencies in the red zone and Tampa 2 coverage as an invitation to an inside running game. I will say that screwing around with the footballs is something that any crony capitalist from Massachusetts would be All-Pro at. Wasn’t Kraft a White House Lincoln Bedroom regular? I don’ know if you have kids but if you did please tell me that they went to public schools.
January 29, 2015
Congresswoman Lois Frankel
2500 N. Military Trail
Boca Raton, FL 33431
RE: Next year in Jerusalem?
Congresswoman Frankel,
#1 – Some, not all, Irishmen are drunken, loud mouthed toss pots.
#2 – Some, not all, Italians are criminals.
#3 – Some, not all, Scotsmen are clam ass tight misers.
#4 – Some, not all, Blacks are shiftless fornicators.
#5 – Some, not all, Poles are cement-headed Bohunks.
#6 – Some, not all, Jews used to be very smart.
The lesson learned from the above is that myriad particulars do not a universal make.
#6 may yet prove to be the unraveling of Logic, a priceless construct that took 25 centuries to assemble. It must be defended vigorously because the Sophists who attack it to promote the specious ends of the poltroon du jour are enemies of the permanent things and must be dispatched with much haste.
The President of the United States calls the Prime Minister of Israel a “chicken shit coward”. The President of the United States, taking a clue from the play book of Henry the Second whose throw-away line of “Will no one rid me of this nettlesome priest” sends his poll taking election stealers to Israel to undo the Prime Minister.
The collective silence of modern American Liberal Democrats – Forgive me. I just repeated myself, didn’t I? – is thunderously deafening. How many synonyms of shame are there?
I saw a headline yesterday announcing that the Taliban will soon be meeting with various heads of states. My immediate response was to ask how many of those heads will still be attached to the individual leaders.
We, we “precious few”, know that while correlation is not causation sometimes discernible patterns emerge
Which fact with no exceptions – none whatsoever - is the common denominator of all terrorist murders in the 21st century? They were commited by
A – Spontaneous combustion and/or steroid induced road rage?
B – Deranged postal workers?
C – Overweight, undersexed Swedish Lutheran dentists?
D – Inner city feral Black teenagers from a single parent home?
E – Islamic terrorists?
It is an open book test. Take your time.
The soul dead shills for the White House, people who would tongue bathe the Boss’s teleprompter on command, would eat the 2100 pages of the ObamaCare act rather than suggest E.
Their daily dose of bull shit – not chicken shit, mind you – begins with an intro similar to the following:
“Just because it is warm, yellow, stinky and will hit you
with astonishing force from your neck to your
do not think I am pissing on your back
while telling you it is rain.”
If I, an “average White grandfather”, know that 12 Jews were butchered in a Kosher shop, that 4 Jews were killed in a Yeshiva, that 4 Jews were killed in a Hebraic museum, why doesn’t the President of the United States and his bum kissing, morally warped flacks know it?
Although I am not a Jew the man who founded my Church was. Further, the Jerusalem, Athens, Rome cauldron was where the triptych of Western Civilization was formed.
There is no smile on the faces of the savages who are pounding on our door.
Where is the outcry from Jewish members of Congress? Does their fealty to the gravity defying, graven images, to the golden calf, of modern American Liberalism blind them to the limitless peril facing their 5000 year old temple?
No one gets into “Profiles in Courage” by swallowing their souls and agreeing with the big boss man.
I enclose a copy of “Will Israel Survive”. It was written by Victor Davis Hanson, as righteous a Gentile that will be found in the public arena. Read and pass it on.
Will the Kaddish for Israel be non-denominationally inter-faith?
Kevin Smith
Congresswoman Lois Frankel
2500 N. Military Trail
Boca Raton, FL 33431
RE: Next year in Jerusalem?
Congresswoman Frankel,
#1 – Some, not all, Irishmen are drunken, loud mouthed toss pots.
#2 – Some, not all, Italians are criminals.
#3 – Some, not all, Scotsmen are clam ass tight misers.
#4 – Some, not all, Blacks are shiftless fornicators.
#5 – Some, not all, Poles are cement-headed Bohunks.
#6 – Some, not all, Jews used to be very smart.
The lesson learned from the above is that myriad particulars do not a universal make.
#6 may yet prove to be the unraveling of Logic, a priceless construct that took 25 centuries to assemble. It must be defended vigorously because the Sophists who attack it to promote the specious ends of the poltroon du jour are enemies of the permanent things and must be dispatched with much haste.
The President of the United States calls the Prime Minister of Israel a “chicken shit coward”. The President of the United States, taking a clue from the play book of Henry the Second whose throw-away line of “Will no one rid me of this nettlesome priest” sends his poll taking election stealers to Israel to undo the Prime Minister.
The collective silence of modern American Liberal Democrats – Forgive me. I just repeated myself, didn’t I? – is thunderously deafening. How many synonyms of shame are there?
I saw a headline yesterday announcing that the Taliban will soon be meeting with various heads of states. My immediate response was to ask how many of those heads will still be attached to the individual leaders.
We, we “precious few”, know that while correlation is not causation sometimes discernible patterns emerge
Which fact with no exceptions – none whatsoever - is the common denominator of all terrorist murders in the 21st century? They were commited by
A – Spontaneous combustion and/or steroid induced road rage?
B – Deranged postal workers?
C – Overweight, undersexed Swedish Lutheran dentists?
D – Inner city feral Black teenagers from a single parent home?
E – Islamic terrorists?
It is an open book test. Take your time.
The soul dead shills for the White House, people who would tongue bathe the Boss’s teleprompter on command, would eat the 2100 pages of the ObamaCare act rather than suggest E.
Their daily dose of bull shit – not chicken shit, mind you – begins with an intro similar to the following:
“Just because it is warm, yellow, stinky and will hit you
with astonishing force from your neck to your
do not think I am pissing on your back
while telling you it is rain.”
If I, an “average White grandfather”, know that 12 Jews were butchered in a Kosher shop, that 4 Jews were killed in a Yeshiva, that 4 Jews were killed in a Hebraic museum, why doesn’t the President of the United States and his bum kissing, morally warped flacks know it?
Although I am not a Jew the man who founded my Church was. Further, the Jerusalem, Athens, Rome cauldron was where the triptych of Western Civilization was formed.
There is no smile on the faces of the savages who are pounding on our door.
Where is the outcry from Jewish members of Congress? Does their fealty to the gravity defying, graven images, to the golden calf, of modern American Liberalism blind them to the limitless peril facing their 5000 year old temple?
No one gets into “Profiles in Courage” by swallowing their souls and agreeing with the big boss man.
I enclose a copy of “Will Israel Survive”. It was written by Victor Davis Hanson, as righteous a Gentile that will be found in the public arena. Read and pass it on.
Will the Kaddish for Israel be non-denominationally inter-faith?
Kevin Smith
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
January 27, 2015
Congressman Alan Grayson
5842 Semoran Blvd.
Orlando, FL 32822
RE: You light up my life! - Some comments on your OP-ED in today’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel that contains so many errors that a reader is left breathless.
Mr. Grayson,
It cannot be overstated.
Among the more meretricious of the basic tenets of modern American Liberalism is the one that governs all their public actions.
“Never let facts interfere with your argument.”
The working premise of the above is that Professor Gruber is right. Americans are stupid. Other than what the Koch Bothers, the NRA, the Duck Dynasty people, and the hated Rush Limbaugh tell them they know nothing.
You say things that would make Goebbels blush secure in the knowledge that no one knows anything about what you are persiflaging about.
I hope your seat belt is buckled. It’s going to be a bumpy flight.
You say, without a hint of irony, that deficit financing is on par with penicillin, Mozart, and the infield fly rule as milestones of Western Civilization. It fits the modern American Liberals narrative that “wealth” sits in a big box or a huge cauldron where it is jealously guarded by stingy Republicans. The sole job of their elected officials is to keep others, particularly women and minorities, and specifically single moms who are women of color living in the inner city, from getting their “fair” share. G-d forbid that making a bigger pie might be the best thing. Someone might :”profit”, a major mAL no-no.
The elected modern American Liberals, Democrats all, believe that their job is to make sure that the pie is cut more “fairly” or that smaller ladles dip into the steaming cauldron thereby making sure that more people get a taste. As a man much smarter than you said, “Sounds like bullshit to me”.
You cite the great Lord Keynes as if you had read him. [You may have read Keynes but it was either his Uncle Murray, the greengrocer from the Cotswolds or Seymour, his layabout Liverpudlian cousin, a failed hat maker who was a serial nose picker.]
No mention of Keynes is possible without saying that his favorite cure for whatever ailed the economy was to cut taxes. If that didn’t work he cut them again, this time on a larger scale. Look it up, you boob.
Alas, modern American Liberals believe that no tax is ever high enough that it can’t be raised. They believe it is a moral imperative to do so. They also believe that making the rich poorer will make the poor richer. They also believe that they can stand in a bucket and pick themselves up by its handle. That’s why their lap dog, bum kissing media stooges sit by waiting for the oft-promised, never arriving Summer of Recovery.
Keynes was one of the most fascinating characters of the 20th century. He gets a bad rap because he is more cited than read. He was once asked at a Parliamentary enquiry if he ever changed his mind about any of his theories. “Certainly. If the facts change I change my mind. Don’t you”?
You, and all fire breathing, card carrying modern American Liberals conveniently forget – Praise God for “eclectic indignation”. Without it all you and your lodge members would go mad from cognitive dissonance – that, prior to his death, he wrote a letter to his good friend Fred Hayek [Google, quickly Google] telling him that he [Hayek] was right and that he [Keynes] was wrong.
Look it up, you boob.
There is one other thing; it is a most glaring error, particularly because it was so easily correctable. By 1931 Herbert Hoover was a firm believer in, and a most sincere practitioner of, deficit financing.
Franklin Roosevelt ran on the promise of a balanced budget. Honest Injun.
He did, he really did. Look it up, you boob.
Kevin Smith
PS – There is one consolation. After he was sworn in FDR came to know the Baby Jesus whose Gospel was “Spend and spend, tax and tax, elect and elect”. It is an inconvenient fact, one that can be easily refuted, save for the fact that it is true, but 6 years into his Presidency the economy was worse off than it was the day he was sworn in. Look it up, you boob. There is a rumor that you are going to run for Senate in 2016. If you I will take it as proof that my Redeemer liveth. If you do I’ll be waiting for you, you boob.
Congressman Alan Grayson
5842 Semoran Blvd.
Orlando, FL 32822
RE: You light up my life! - Some comments on your OP-ED in today’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel that contains so many errors that a reader is left breathless.
Mr. Grayson,
It cannot be overstated.
Among the more meretricious of the basic tenets of modern American Liberalism is the one that governs all their public actions.
“Never let facts interfere with your argument.”
The working premise of the above is that Professor Gruber is right. Americans are stupid. Other than what the Koch Bothers, the NRA, the Duck Dynasty people, and the hated Rush Limbaugh tell them they know nothing.
You say things that would make Goebbels blush secure in the knowledge that no one knows anything about what you are persiflaging about.
I hope your seat belt is buckled. It’s going to be a bumpy flight.
You say, without a hint of irony, that deficit financing is on par with penicillin, Mozart, and the infield fly rule as milestones of Western Civilization. It fits the modern American Liberals narrative that “wealth” sits in a big box or a huge cauldron where it is jealously guarded by stingy Republicans. The sole job of their elected officials is to keep others, particularly women and minorities, and specifically single moms who are women of color living in the inner city, from getting their “fair” share. G-d forbid that making a bigger pie might be the best thing. Someone might :”profit”, a major mAL no-no.
The elected modern American Liberals, Democrats all, believe that their job is to make sure that the pie is cut more “fairly” or that smaller ladles dip into the steaming cauldron thereby making sure that more people get a taste. As a man much smarter than you said, “Sounds like bullshit to me”.
You cite the great Lord Keynes as if you had read him. [You may have read Keynes but it was either his Uncle Murray, the greengrocer from the Cotswolds or Seymour, his layabout Liverpudlian cousin, a failed hat maker who was a serial nose picker.]
No mention of Keynes is possible without saying that his favorite cure for whatever ailed the economy was to cut taxes. If that didn’t work he cut them again, this time on a larger scale. Look it up, you boob.
Alas, modern American Liberals believe that no tax is ever high enough that it can’t be raised. They believe it is a moral imperative to do so. They also believe that making the rich poorer will make the poor richer. They also believe that they can stand in a bucket and pick themselves up by its handle. That’s why their lap dog, bum kissing media stooges sit by waiting for the oft-promised, never arriving Summer of Recovery.
Keynes was one of the most fascinating characters of the 20th century. He gets a bad rap because he is more cited than read. He was once asked at a Parliamentary enquiry if he ever changed his mind about any of his theories. “Certainly. If the facts change I change my mind. Don’t you”?
You, and all fire breathing, card carrying modern American Liberals conveniently forget – Praise God for “eclectic indignation”. Without it all you and your lodge members would go mad from cognitive dissonance – that, prior to his death, he wrote a letter to his good friend Fred Hayek [Google, quickly Google] telling him that he [Hayek] was right and that he [Keynes] was wrong.
Look it up, you boob.
There is one other thing; it is a most glaring error, particularly because it was so easily correctable. By 1931 Herbert Hoover was a firm believer in, and a most sincere practitioner of, deficit financing.
Franklin Roosevelt ran on the promise of a balanced budget. Honest Injun.
He did, he really did. Look it up, you boob.
Kevin Smith
PS – There is one consolation. After he was sworn in FDR came to know the Baby Jesus whose Gospel was “Spend and spend, tax and tax, elect and elect”. It is an inconvenient fact, one that can be easily refuted, save for the fact that it is true, but 6 years into his Presidency the economy was worse off than it was the day he was sworn in. Look it up, you boob. There is a rumor that you are going to run for Senate in 2016. If you I will take it as proof that my Redeemer liveth. If you do I’ll be waiting for you, you boob.
Monday, January 26, 2015
January 25, 2015
Mitch Berger, Esq.
Berger Singer
350 E. Las Olas Blvd
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: “Middle class economics” – Some comments on your unlinkable miniature OP-ED in today’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel on how great the imbecilic poltroon in the White House is for the middle class.
Mr. Berger,
Every time I hear someone who hangs out with Tom Steyer, today’s answer to gilded age Robber Barons, tell me that we can make the poor richer by making the rich poorer I count my silverware.
You mention that Thomas Piketty’s book is a guide for the perplexed about how to have 2, maybe 3, chickens in every pot by outlawing roosters a few things leap to mind:
A – It is absolutely unreadable. Not one person in a hundred purchasers could have gotten past page 52 without putting an ice pick in their good eye. Anyone who tells you that they read it will you that they read “The Wit and Wisdom of Jimmy Carter” and the 3 volume set of “Mondale and Dukakis on Stand-Up Comedy Shticks cum Door to Door Selling”. I’ll get Hillary’s new book “Afternoons with Red Bone the Broker and Exchanging Briefs with Vince Foster” only if it has pictures.
It’s as if a good sized dictionary, the multiplication tables, a history of rhomboids, and the decidedly unsacred Koran was put into t a high speed Nutri-Bullet, with vegan vinegar as an emulsifier was put on puree with the contents being flung onto the inside of a garage door because shadow painting was too expensive.
Maybe it was the transition but he makes Marx sound like Dickens.
B – Piketty has one premise. It is one dear to the hearts of card carrying, fire breathing modern American Liberals. I don’t know what it reads like in French but in English it is very simple. No tax is ever too high. Only oafs who believe that this is the year the Summer of Recovery will arrive cheer such folderol. When will the Son of Solyndra arrive, the one with all the “Green” jobs?
No wonder you favor abortion. If you were a woman and you believed stuff like that you would always be pregnant. You would have a frequent user card at Planned Parenthood.
Godot, another Frenchman, will arrive at the head of a brass band before Piketty makes sense.
You say with neither a hint of sarcasm nor a hint of mirth that free community college will be good for the middle class. If that’s good how about free pizza? How about free stamps? How about free false teeth? How about free legal advice? You could shame your lodge brothers into really helping the middle class with that one. Free wills, free foreclosure defense, free slip and fault representation, free title insurance.
How about an executive order mandating free lunch?
You are like herpes in that you are a gift that keeps on giving.
You give wretched excess a bad name.
Promise me that you will never change.
Kevin Smith
PS – Can you get me some Solyndra bonds for my granddaughters’ college funds? Also, I feel it is important for you to know that my contempt is not personal.
Mitch Berger, Esq.
Berger Singer
350 E. Las Olas Blvd
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: “Middle class economics” – Some comments on your unlinkable miniature OP-ED in today’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel on how great the imbecilic poltroon in the White House is for the middle class.
Mr. Berger,
Every time I hear someone who hangs out with Tom Steyer, today’s answer to gilded age Robber Barons, tell me that we can make the poor richer by making the rich poorer I count my silverware.
You mention that Thomas Piketty’s book is a guide for the perplexed about how to have 2, maybe 3, chickens in every pot by outlawing roosters a few things leap to mind:
A – It is absolutely unreadable. Not one person in a hundred purchasers could have gotten past page 52 without putting an ice pick in their good eye. Anyone who tells you that they read it will you that they read “The Wit and Wisdom of Jimmy Carter” and the 3 volume set of “Mondale and Dukakis on Stand-Up Comedy Shticks cum Door to Door Selling”. I’ll get Hillary’s new book “Afternoons with Red Bone the Broker and Exchanging Briefs with Vince Foster” only if it has pictures.
It’s as if a good sized dictionary, the multiplication tables, a history of rhomboids, and the decidedly unsacred Koran was put into t a high speed Nutri-Bullet, with vegan vinegar as an emulsifier was put on puree with the contents being flung onto the inside of a garage door because shadow painting was too expensive.
Maybe it was the transition but he makes Marx sound like Dickens.
B – Piketty has one premise. It is one dear to the hearts of card carrying, fire breathing modern American Liberals. I don’t know what it reads like in French but in English it is very simple. No tax is ever too high. Only oafs who believe that this is the year the Summer of Recovery will arrive cheer such folderol. When will the Son of Solyndra arrive, the one with all the “Green” jobs?
No wonder you favor abortion. If you were a woman and you believed stuff like that you would always be pregnant. You would have a frequent user card at Planned Parenthood.
Godot, another Frenchman, will arrive at the head of a brass band before Piketty makes sense.
You say with neither a hint of sarcasm nor a hint of mirth that free community college will be good for the middle class. If that’s good how about free pizza? How about free stamps? How about free false teeth? How about free legal advice? You could shame your lodge brothers into really helping the middle class with that one. Free wills, free foreclosure defense, free slip and fault representation, free title insurance.
How about an executive order mandating free lunch?
You are like herpes in that you are a gift that keeps on giving.
You give wretched excess a bad name.
Promise me that you will never change.
Kevin Smith
PS – Can you get me some Solyndra bonds for my granddaughters’ college funds? Also, I feel it is important for you to know that my contempt is not personal.
January 25, 2015
Harvey Ruvin
Clerk of the Courts
73 Flagler Street
Miami, FL 33130
RE: An apology, maybe, sort of, kind of
Mr. Ruvin,
In a style so common to and of modern American Liberals I apologize but only if I have offended you.
In my letter to you of 1/22/15, a copy of which is enclosed, I called you “Sisyphus in a clown suit”
I have done some research on you since I wrote that.
It is obvious I should have called you “a half-assed Sisyphus in a clown suit”.
For this I am truly sorry.
Kevin Smith
PS – Promise me, no fingers crossed, that you will never change, OK?
Harvey Ruvin
Clerk of the Courts
73 Flagler Street
Miami, FL 33130
RE: An apology, maybe, sort of, kind of
Mr. Ruvin,
In a style so common to and of modern American Liberals I apologize but only if I have offended you.
In my letter to you of 1/22/15, a copy of which is enclosed, I called you “Sisyphus in a clown suit”
I have done some research on you since I wrote that.
It is obvious I should have called you “a half-assed Sisyphus in a clown suit”.
For this I am truly sorry.
Kevin Smith
PS – Promise me, no fingers crossed, that you will never change, OK?
January 25, 2015
Mayor Jack Seiler
100 North Andrews Avenue
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: Did you really say that? Some thoughts on your unintentionally funny – with comments approaching Mad magazine or Onion status – comments in today’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel.
Mr. Mayor,
The presumption, one that is easily made in modern American Liberal Broward County, is that elected officials have to say one really dumb thing a week. If they don’t the ruling cabal gives them demerits and detention. You prove my point thus:
“These policies will enable us to identify and prioritize
areas most vulnerable to sea level rise and coastal flooding
and implement adaptation measures to reduce the
damaging effects of climate change.”
The Sun Sentinel
Today
You
I can save the city some of the cost of “identifying and prioritizing areas most vulnerable to sea level rise”. And we thought Professor Irwin Corey was gone, never to return. Here are some guidelines:
A – If sea turtles nest there it is a “vulnerable” area.
B – If you see people using a lot of sun tan lotion who have wide brimmed hats on and wear motley clothes it is a “vulnerable” area.
C – If it costs you $10 to park so you can pay $7 for a beer to go with your $14 hamburger you are in a “vulnerable” area.
D – If, on a predictable quotidian basis, the water level rises, falls, rises, and falls like clockwork you are in a “vulnerable” area. Keen observers of such phenomena call them tides. They are another clue that you are in a “vulnerable” area.
E – If you are surrounded by boorish people who think tipping is anathema, who speak a pidgin French that would have them sent to the Bastille if they were to try it in Bordeaux you are in a “vulnerable” area.
F – Boats. Boats of all kinds. Sail boats, Power boats. Paddle boats. Row boats, Solar powered boats. Fishing boats. Glass bottomed boats. Wretched excess boats. Put them together in any combination and, if you do not have a personal flotation device, get one because you are in a “vulnerable” area.
G – If you find yourself surrounded by people who say “Aye, matey” and “Avast” and “Arrgh” and have wooden legs, eye patches, and parrots on their shoulders you are close to a “vulnerable” area.
Speaking of “climate change”, you may wish to consult the noted Venetian climatologist, Professor Vivaldi. It is the “consensus” of most concerned citizens that he has nailed the theses of such clap trap to the door where reality dares not cross its threshold.
I see where you have had a rough time with the feeding the homeless. Maybe I can help you there also.
I got here in 1996.
One of the first things I noticed was the manatee problem. When the driving force of the Alpha male is to swim into ta propeller, not only a propeller but one that is whiling madly, I concluded that it was time for these useless sea slugs to go. If it weren’t for anti-Darwinists and other foes of natural selection looking to rid themselves of week old endive, arugula, chard, past use date tofu and slightly rank Vegemite they would all look like eels. Or slightly animate fire hoses.
Two birds with one stone.
Herd them all into one big channel that leads to a gargantuan Cuisinart, one on steroids. Sausage for the homeless. Beans and rice. Some vegan sorbet, the kind that Hitler liked. A few sealed box cars to Wichita and the problem is solved.
Don’t you love it when a plan comes together?
One last thing before I go.
As modern American Liberal Roman Catholic how do you square the abortion circle? Please don’t use the Cuomo argument because as a syllogism it is both invalid and untruthful. Cuomo said, and at Notre Dame no less, that while he personally opposed abortion he had no choice but to obey the law of the land. If that were always the case he would have had no problem with putting Dred Scott, captured in Canarsie, on the midnight train to Georgia. The Nuremberg Race Laws of 1934, partly based on the teachings of Margaret Sanger, another modern American Liberal heroine, had the force of law also.
How do you square that with your Easter Duty?
Kevin Smith
PS-Do you think we could be a “model” for Havana?
Mayor Jack Seiler
100 North Andrews Avenue
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: Did you really say that? Some thoughts on your unintentionally funny – with comments approaching Mad magazine or Onion status – comments in today’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel.
Mr. Mayor,
The presumption, one that is easily made in modern American Liberal Broward County, is that elected officials have to say one really dumb thing a week. If they don’t the ruling cabal gives them demerits and detention. You prove my point thus:
“These policies will enable us to identify and prioritize
areas most vulnerable to sea level rise and coastal flooding
and implement adaptation measures to reduce the
damaging effects of climate change.”
The Sun Sentinel
Today
You
I can save the city some of the cost of “identifying and prioritizing areas most vulnerable to sea level rise”. And we thought Professor Irwin Corey was gone, never to return. Here are some guidelines:
A – If sea turtles nest there it is a “vulnerable” area.
B – If you see people using a lot of sun tan lotion who have wide brimmed hats on and wear motley clothes it is a “vulnerable” area.
C – If it costs you $10 to park so you can pay $7 for a beer to go with your $14 hamburger you are in a “vulnerable” area.
D – If, on a predictable quotidian basis, the water level rises, falls, rises, and falls like clockwork you are in a “vulnerable” area. Keen observers of such phenomena call them tides. They are another clue that you are in a “vulnerable” area.
E – If you are surrounded by boorish people who think tipping is anathema, who speak a pidgin French that would have them sent to the Bastille if they were to try it in Bordeaux you are in a “vulnerable” area.
F – Boats. Boats of all kinds. Sail boats, Power boats. Paddle boats. Row boats, Solar powered boats. Fishing boats. Glass bottomed boats. Wretched excess boats. Put them together in any combination and, if you do not have a personal flotation device, get one because you are in a “vulnerable” area.
G – If you find yourself surrounded by people who say “Aye, matey” and “Avast” and “Arrgh” and have wooden legs, eye patches, and parrots on their shoulders you are close to a “vulnerable” area.
Speaking of “climate change”, you may wish to consult the noted Venetian climatologist, Professor Vivaldi. It is the “consensus” of most concerned citizens that he has nailed the theses of such clap trap to the door where reality dares not cross its threshold.
I see where you have had a rough time with the feeding the homeless. Maybe I can help you there also.
I got here in 1996.
One of the first things I noticed was the manatee problem. When the driving force of the Alpha male is to swim into ta propeller, not only a propeller but one that is whiling madly, I concluded that it was time for these useless sea slugs to go. If it weren’t for anti-Darwinists and other foes of natural selection looking to rid themselves of week old endive, arugula, chard, past use date tofu and slightly rank Vegemite they would all look like eels. Or slightly animate fire hoses.
Two birds with one stone.
Herd them all into one big channel that leads to a gargantuan Cuisinart, one on steroids. Sausage for the homeless. Beans and rice. Some vegan sorbet, the kind that Hitler liked. A few sealed box cars to Wichita and the problem is solved.
Don’t you love it when a plan comes together?
One last thing before I go.
As modern American Liberal Roman Catholic how do you square the abortion circle? Please don’t use the Cuomo argument because as a syllogism it is both invalid and untruthful. Cuomo said, and at Notre Dame no less, that while he personally opposed abortion he had no choice but to obey the law of the land. If that were always the case he would have had no problem with putting Dred Scott, captured in Canarsie, on the midnight train to Georgia. The Nuremberg Race Laws of 1934, partly based on the teachings of Margaret Sanger, another modern American Liberal heroine, had the force of law also.
How do you square that with your Easter Duty?
Kevin Smith
PS-Do you think we could be a “model” for Havana?
January 25, 2015
Ron Klein, Esq.
Holland & Knight
515 E. Las Olas Blvd
Ft Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: “tax reform and tax fairness” and your oh so painfully typical plea for moving the horizon on command as you set it forth in today’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel.
Mr. Klein,
Is it fair to tax profits at the corporate level and then again on the individual level when shareholders get dividends?
[I think I may be the first person to tell you that corporations don’t pay taxes. Taxes become an expense item, much like salaries and benefits, power and light, and plant and equipment. As such they are borne by the shareholders. Look it up.]
Why is the interest paid on corporate debt taxable while the interest paid on municipal bonds is tax free?
Do you know any poor people who own municipal bonds? Do you know any poor people?
If it is “fair” for home owners to deduct interest on their mortgages and property taxes why can’t renters, particularly women and minorities, deduct some or all of their rent?
If it is “fair” to depreciate commercial property why can’t I depreciate my car, my smart phone, my wide screen TV, and my underwear?
While you ponder the above could you give me a one sentence, preferably declarative, definition of “fair”, as in “fair share” or “fairness”? No “fair” using what isn’t “fair” as a definition.
If you are looking for a tax rock labeled “unfair” to turn over how about the trust created by Papa Joe Kennedy, an American corsair who thought Hitler was an OK guy, to provide for his layabout, wastrel son, Senator Lard Kenned?. No one knows what is in it, how much has been paid out of it, or how much it is worth. It now belongs to his youngest son Patches Kennedy, a pill popping Brahmin One %er. How “fair” is that?
Kevin Smith
Ron Klein, Esq.
Holland & Knight
515 E. Las Olas Blvd
Ft Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: “tax reform and tax fairness” and your oh so painfully typical plea for moving the horizon on command as you set it forth in today’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel.
Mr. Klein,
Is it fair to tax profits at the corporate level and then again on the individual level when shareholders get dividends?
[I think I may be the first person to tell you that corporations don’t pay taxes. Taxes become an expense item, much like salaries and benefits, power and light, and plant and equipment. As such they are borne by the shareholders. Look it up.]
Why is the interest paid on corporate debt taxable while the interest paid on municipal bonds is tax free?
Do you know any poor people who own municipal bonds? Do you know any poor people?
If it is “fair” for home owners to deduct interest on their mortgages and property taxes why can’t renters, particularly women and minorities, deduct some or all of their rent?
If it is “fair” to depreciate commercial property why can’t I depreciate my car, my smart phone, my wide screen TV, and my underwear?
While you ponder the above could you give me a one sentence, preferably declarative, definition of “fair”, as in “fair share” or “fairness”? No “fair” using what isn’t “fair” as a definition.
If you are looking for a tax rock labeled “unfair” to turn over how about the trust created by Papa Joe Kennedy, an American corsair who thought Hitler was an OK guy, to provide for his layabout, wastrel son, Senator Lard Kenned?. No one knows what is in it, how much has been paid out of it, or how much it is worth. It now belongs to his youngest son Patches Kennedy, a pill popping Brahmin One %er. How “fair” is that?
Kevin Smith
Friday, January 23, 2015
January 22, 2015
Harvey Ruvin
Clerk of the Courts
73 Flagler Street
Miami, FL 33130
RE: “County Tackles Climate Change” - Some comments about your appointment to be the “Juice Man” of the gravity defying “Make the tide stop rising in Miami/Dade County”, as reported in today’s unlinkable Miami Herald.
Mr. Ruvin,
“Such stupidity, sir, is not to be found in nature”
Every time I try to retire the great Dr. Johnson’s timeless adage, a horse’s ass of biblical proportions appears, like a giant turd in the holiday punch bowl, to make me cancel the retirement dinner. Someone like you.
Whatever else you do in life, whichever non sequitur lined and tautology paved cul-de-sac you get lost in, your place in the Hall of Fame for Horses’ Asses is secure.
You are right about one thing.
“People are going to look back at this day as a turning point”
You are spot on.
Pick one.
The loonies are running the bin
or
The boobies are running the hatch
I have a copy of “The Population Bomb”, a 1969 best seller written by a very smart man, Professor Paul Ehrlich. I know he was smart because he was on the Johnny Carson show a few dozen times telling us how smart he was as he advised us not to buy any green bananas.
His premise was simple. Although he wasn’t sure what the final reason would be he knew the date. We, the whole world, would die either of starvation or freezing, by date certain 2000.
The date of the news story about you is January 22, 2015. I have been playing with house money for a decade and a half. I turned my A/C on last night, and, to the chagrin of my crack medical providers I am still calorically challenged.
I was reading your tax payer funded puff piece on the Court Clerk web site. One thing is obvious.
Only a fire breathing, card carrying, modern American Liberal would allow tax payer money to be used to say “his proudest achievement was having a manatee orphan named Harvey after him”.
Forget Ebola. That you are suffering from an advanced state of “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”, with all its attendant manifestations, there can be no doubt. All that was lacking was mentioning the award naming you as “The World’s Tallest Midget”.
Here’s a plan – simple, direct, and oh so achingly obvious – that you can place in motion to really make the “starting point”.
TURN OFF ALL THE A/Cs IN COUNTY BUILDINGS.
START WITH ALL THE COURT HOUSES.
The reason should be crystal clear, even to an ohmadahn like you. Read carefully. I’ll type slowly.
Approximately half the electricity generated in this country comes from coal powered plants. Half of that electricity goes to produce air conditioning. Turn off all the A/Cs and the following things will happen. I promise.
#1 – Your carbon footprint will be lowered
#2 – Polar bear population will soar with a concomitant drop in baby seals.
#3 – The earth will cool.
#4 – The seas will calm.
#5 – You will define the word defenestration as you are flung, in a most violent manner, form the top floor of the court house.
Sisyphus in a clown suit. What a boob!
Is it too late to bring back keelhauling? Bastinado?
Kevin Smith
Harvey Ruvin
Clerk of the Courts
73 Flagler Street
Miami, FL 33130
RE: “County Tackles Climate Change” - Some comments about your appointment to be the “Juice Man” of the gravity defying “Make the tide stop rising in Miami/Dade County”, as reported in today’s unlinkable Miami Herald.
Mr. Ruvin,
“Such stupidity, sir, is not to be found in nature”
Every time I try to retire the great Dr. Johnson’s timeless adage, a horse’s ass of biblical proportions appears, like a giant turd in the holiday punch bowl, to make me cancel the retirement dinner. Someone like you.
Whatever else you do in life, whichever non sequitur lined and tautology paved cul-de-sac you get lost in, your place in the Hall of Fame for Horses’ Asses is secure.
You are right about one thing.
“People are going to look back at this day as a turning point”
You are spot on.
Pick one.
The loonies are running the bin
or
The boobies are running the hatch
I have a copy of “The Population Bomb”, a 1969 best seller written by a very smart man, Professor Paul Ehrlich. I know he was smart because he was on the Johnny Carson show a few dozen times telling us how smart he was as he advised us not to buy any green bananas.
His premise was simple. Although he wasn’t sure what the final reason would be he knew the date. We, the whole world, would die either of starvation or freezing, by date certain 2000.
The date of the news story about you is January 22, 2015. I have been playing with house money for a decade and a half. I turned my A/C on last night, and, to the chagrin of my crack medical providers I am still calorically challenged.
I was reading your tax payer funded puff piece on the Court Clerk web site. One thing is obvious.
Only a fire breathing, card carrying, modern American Liberal would allow tax payer money to be used to say “his proudest achievement was having a manatee orphan named Harvey after him”.
Forget Ebola. That you are suffering from an advanced state of “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”, with all its attendant manifestations, there can be no doubt. All that was lacking was mentioning the award naming you as “The World’s Tallest Midget”.
Here’s a plan – simple, direct, and oh so achingly obvious – that you can place in motion to really make the “starting point”.
TURN OFF ALL THE A/Cs IN COUNTY BUILDINGS.
START WITH ALL THE COURT HOUSES.
The reason should be crystal clear, even to an ohmadahn like you. Read carefully. I’ll type slowly.
Approximately half the electricity generated in this country comes from coal powered plants. Half of that electricity goes to produce air conditioning. Turn off all the A/Cs and the following things will happen. I promise.
#1 – Your carbon footprint will be lowered
#2 – Polar bear population will soar with a concomitant drop in baby seals.
#3 – The earth will cool.
#4 – The seas will calm.
#5 – You will define the word defenestration as you are flung, in a most violent manner, form the top floor of the court house.
Sisyphus in a clown suit. What a boob!
Is it too late to bring back keelhauling? Bastinado?
Kevin Smith
Tuesday, January 20, 2015
January 16, 2015
I miss Max Katz.
He was a dear friend who, when I called him in time of need, didn’t say “What happened”? He asked, “How much”?
Max was the prototypical, caricature, “stiff necked” American Jew. He was loud, a bit crass, overbearing, a natural if Hard Core Pawn is casting for new managers…Can you see where I am going here? One of his lasting legacies is that his hair became famous when Kramer starred in Seinfeld
I say that because if he had been sitting across the table from Jimmy Carter, the cloying, meaner than cat shit, snaggle-toothed failed peanut farmer – he had a brother, a true red necked goober, who worked for Qadaffi, remember? – who went on to be the worst President of the 20th century, I would be raising money for his defense fund. Max would have kicked him in the ass so hard that he would have had to take his shoes off and his socks down to take a dump.
Carter was given a typical modern American Liberal puff ball question by Jon Stewart, who used to be a Jew – Does Obama care cover circumcision reversals? – about feral Islamic thugs killing people who suggest that Little Moe was a goat humping pedophile. I wonder what they would have done if the touchy subject of “Dancing Boys” had been raised. Thank God for Google!
Carter, a man who wet his pants in fear of a deadly bunny attack, a man for whom “Amazing Grace” is like tinkling brass, said, “The Jews made them do it, particularly the uppity ones. The Boko Haram kidnapping of 300 teenage girls was a result of Global Warming. GW was caused by Zionist bankers who always make a buck. Sundry beheadings, various crucifixions, lashings, stonings – all the good stuff – have come about because the Israelis will no longer get quietly on the express train to Auschwitz.
A quick History lesson is needed.
In 732 AD, less than a century after Islam, a religion of peace, was founded they were half across France en route to taking over Europe. They were detoured at Tours by Charles Martel who convinced them by force of arms to get the Hell out.
In 1571 they were going to invade Italy. One of their promises was to stable their horses in the Vatican. A group of determined Venetians were able to convince the survivors to return to Turkey after an exchange of views at Lepanto on October 7.
In 1683 these killers were at the gates of Vienna. Jan Sobieski, King of Poland and Lithuania, killed enough of them to make the rest of them hoof it back to their various holy cities. For this, Pope Innocent the Eleventh called him the Savior of Western Civilization.
It is well to note that about 10 centuries ago they began to eat their seed corn. After preserving Aristotle, after making huge impacts on math, they turned inward. After 50 generations of inbreeding, other than being able to look through a keyhole with both eyes, they have reached a genetic cul-de-sac. The scientific method, reasoned discourse, healthy skepticism, critical enquiry, political freedoms, scientific achievements, cultural advancements are no longer even distant memories of their civilization.
Scan the list of Nobel Prize winners.
The last 2 winners with distinctly Muslim names were Barack Obama and Yasser Arafat.
Res ipso loquitur or quod erat demonstratum. Take your pick. Take both.
When the last group of burnoosed Dervishes took over Afghanistan they, prior to blowing up 2500 year old statues of Buddha, outlawed balloons and forbade whistling under pain of death. Now a progressive Imam has decreed that making a snow man is a punishable offense under Sharia law. What would they have done if Rudolph and Frosty showed up for noon prayers?
What would have happened if 13 centuries ago they had prevailed? 5 centuries ago? 4 centuries ago? What will happen if they prevail today?
The Magna Carta? Dante? Michelangelo? Shakespeare? Mozart? Madison? NASCAR? Einstein? Van Gogh? Ale? Babe Ruth? Matisse? Churchill? Rothko? Velcro? Bill Gates? The cello? Madonna? ApolloX1? Chicharones? Spandex? Smart phones? Lombardi & Bryant? The Honeymooners? James Joyce? Walt Disney? Ron Popeil? The Final Four? Sacaramouche? Bach? Penicillin? Frozen food? SUVs? Prince Harry? Accelerated depreciation? Same sex marriages? Curmudgeonly ballbusters?
Think of what we would have missed. If we never had it we couldn’t have missed it. What would have been there would have been an aching, a yearning, for the unknown. No hope, no chance of glory, no striving, no magic moments. Centuries of unexamined lives would have turned us into slugs like those we confront today.
If the Jews didn’t exist, if Israel had never come to be, these bug eyed apes still would have done what they did.
Max, my friend, you were dead a month before I knew it. I never got to say Kaddish.
Come back. We need you. Now. You have to wake the goyim.
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
I miss Max Katz.
He was a dear friend who, when I called him in time of need, didn’t say “What happened”? He asked, “How much”?
Max was the prototypical, caricature, “stiff necked” American Jew. He was loud, a bit crass, overbearing, a natural if Hard Core Pawn is casting for new managers…Can you see where I am going here? One of his lasting legacies is that his hair became famous when Kramer starred in Seinfeld
I say that because if he had been sitting across the table from Jimmy Carter, the cloying, meaner than cat shit, snaggle-toothed failed peanut farmer – he had a brother, a true red necked goober, who worked for Qadaffi, remember? – who went on to be the worst President of the 20th century, I would be raising money for his defense fund. Max would have kicked him in the ass so hard that he would have had to take his shoes off and his socks down to take a dump.
Carter was given a typical modern American Liberal puff ball question by Jon Stewart, who used to be a Jew – Does Obama care cover circumcision reversals? – about feral Islamic thugs killing people who suggest that Little Moe was a goat humping pedophile. I wonder what they would have done if the touchy subject of “Dancing Boys” had been raised. Thank God for Google!
Carter, a man who wet his pants in fear of a deadly bunny attack, a man for whom “Amazing Grace” is like tinkling brass, said, “The Jews made them do it, particularly the uppity ones. The Boko Haram kidnapping of 300 teenage girls was a result of Global Warming. GW was caused by Zionist bankers who always make a buck. Sundry beheadings, various crucifixions, lashings, stonings – all the good stuff – have come about because the Israelis will no longer get quietly on the express train to Auschwitz.
A quick History lesson is needed.
In 732 AD, less than a century after Islam, a religion of peace, was founded they were half across France en route to taking over Europe. They were detoured at Tours by Charles Martel who convinced them by force of arms to get the Hell out.
In 1571 they were going to invade Italy. One of their promises was to stable their horses in the Vatican. A group of determined Venetians were able to convince the survivors to return to Turkey after an exchange of views at Lepanto on October 7.
In 1683 these killers were at the gates of Vienna. Jan Sobieski, King of Poland and Lithuania, killed enough of them to make the rest of them hoof it back to their various holy cities. For this, Pope Innocent the Eleventh called him the Savior of Western Civilization.
It is well to note that about 10 centuries ago they began to eat their seed corn. After preserving Aristotle, after making huge impacts on math, they turned inward. After 50 generations of inbreeding, other than being able to look through a keyhole with both eyes, they have reached a genetic cul-de-sac. The scientific method, reasoned discourse, healthy skepticism, critical enquiry, political freedoms, scientific achievements, cultural advancements are no longer even distant memories of their civilization.
Scan the list of Nobel Prize winners.
The last 2 winners with distinctly Muslim names were Barack Obama and Yasser Arafat.
Res ipso loquitur or quod erat demonstratum. Take your pick. Take both.
When the last group of burnoosed Dervishes took over Afghanistan they, prior to blowing up 2500 year old statues of Buddha, outlawed balloons and forbade whistling under pain of death. Now a progressive Imam has decreed that making a snow man is a punishable offense under Sharia law. What would they have done if Rudolph and Frosty showed up for noon prayers?
What would have happened if 13 centuries ago they had prevailed? 5 centuries ago? 4 centuries ago? What will happen if they prevail today?
The Magna Carta? Dante? Michelangelo? Shakespeare? Mozart? Madison? NASCAR? Einstein? Van Gogh? Ale? Babe Ruth? Matisse? Churchill? Rothko? Velcro? Bill Gates? The cello? Madonna? ApolloX1? Chicharones? Spandex? Smart phones? Lombardi & Bryant? The Honeymooners? James Joyce? Walt Disney? Ron Popeil? The Final Four? Sacaramouche? Bach? Penicillin? Frozen food? SUVs? Prince Harry? Accelerated depreciation? Same sex marriages? Curmudgeonly ballbusters?
Think of what we would have missed. If we never had it we couldn’t have missed it. What would have been there would have been an aching, a yearning, for the unknown. No hope, no chance of glory, no striving, no magic moments. Centuries of unexamined lives would have turned us into slugs like those we confront today.
If the Jews didn’t exist, if Israel had never come to be, these bug eyed apes still would have done what they did.
Max, my friend, you were dead a month before I knew it. I never got to say Kaddish.
Come back. We need you. Now. You have to wake the goyim.
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
January 18, 2015
Mitchell Berger, Esq,
Berger Singerman
350 E. Las Olas Blvd
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: Who will run? Some comments on your 2 sentence OP-ED in today’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel.
Mr. Berger,
Forget about Romney & Bush
Please, please get your pal, Tom Steyer, that rascally coal mining, tax dodging, vegan wanabe hedge fund aficionado, to send some dough to Bernie Sanders [D-VT] and Elizabeth Warren [D-MA]
He has so much money that they old folks who draw the short straw from the ObamaCare Death Panels will have the option of jumping off his wallet as a way to end the drain on Medicare.
I think Senator Sanders [D-VT] should have a national forum for his 105% top tax rate, for his outlawing of dividends, for his stopping all foreclosures, for his speaking style that can simultaneously curdle milk and straighten Debbie Wasserman-Schultz’s hair. Plus, the fact that he is a horse’s ass of Guinness Book proportions deserves national attention. He makes Senator SummerFallWinterWarren [D-MA] – Are you old enough to remember Howdy Doody? - sound like just a run of the mill modern American Liberal cabeza de ca-ca.
Secretary of State Jay Forbes Kerry outdid his pink bunny suit caper and his “I voted for it before I voted against it” shtick by bringing James Taylor to Paris. I may be wrong here because the Frogs think Jerry Lewis is a genius but he was God awful terrible.
When he talks to Iran in their 17th, or was it the 18th, last chance nuclear negotiations, before he draws the next line in the sand, he should have Big Bird do a song and dance bit. Maybe Pee Wee Herman and Bill Cosby could be held in reserve for last minute delicate meetings.
The boobies are running the hatch.
Kevin Smith
Mitchell Berger, Esq,
Berger Singerman
350 E. Las Olas Blvd
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: Who will run? Some comments on your 2 sentence OP-ED in today’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel.
Mr. Berger,
Forget about Romney & Bush
Please, please get your pal, Tom Steyer, that rascally coal mining, tax dodging, vegan wanabe hedge fund aficionado, to send some dough to Bernie Sanders [D-VT] and Elizabeth Warren [D-MA]
He has so much money that they old folks who draw the short straw from the ObamaCare Death Panels will have the option of jumping off his wallet as a way to end the drain on Medicare.
I think Senator Sanders [D-VT] should have a national forum for his 105% top tax rate, for his outlawing of dividends, for his stopping all foreclosures, for his speaking style that can simultaneously curdle milk and straighten Debbie Wasserman-Schultz’s hair. Plus, the fact that he is a horse’s ass of Guinness Book proportions deserves national attention. He makes Senator SummerFallWinterWarren [D-MA] – Are you old enough to remember Howdy Doody? - sound like just a run of the mill modern American Liberal cabeza de ca-ca.
Secretary of State Jay Forbes Kerry outdid his pink bunny suit caper and his “I voted for it before I voted against it” shtick by bringing James Taylor to Paris. I may be wrong here because the Frogs think Jerry Lewis is a genius but he was God awful terrible.
When he talks to Iran in their 17th, or was it the 18th, last chance nuclear negotiations, before he draws the next line in the sand, he should have Big Bird do a song and dance bit. Maybe Pee Wee Herman and Bill Cosby could be held in reserve for last minute delicate meetings.
The boobies are running the hatch.
Kevin Smith
Friday, January 16, 2015
January 8, 2015
Ricardo Mor
The Miami Center of Architecture & Design
RE: Some observations on your unlinkable OP-ED plea in today’s Miami Herald for “fairness” in the form of a living wage.
Mr. Mor,
In the 1980s I “created” more than 400 jobs in 5 states, the highest of which paid $43,000 a year. The people I hired doubtless helped to “create” still more jobs through their purchases of the necessities of life. I have heard that 7 is the accepted multiplier for indirect jobs. I am proud of that number because the number of jobs “created” by the 30 companies in the Dow Jones Industrial Average in the ‘80s was zero.
That’s zero as in none.
You write that the MIT Living Wage Calculator says that $10.79 an hour is the minimum needed to earn a living wage in this county. Are you suggesting that this elusive “living wage” can vary from county to county? Vide Putnam County in northeast Florida. Its poverty rate is 26.4%. Its unemployment rate is 9.4%. What should its minimum wage be?
If they are unemployed, and worse, unemployable at $7.25 an hour how would raising it help them? If $10.79 is good wouldn’t $20.79 be better? Why stop there? $30.79 would have them farting through silk, if not really than vicariously, right? Instinct tells me that groups of unemployed people frequently talk about how good it feels to be unemployed at a higher minimum wage. It’s make you forget about an empty stomach.
Let me add that I was thrice employed at the minimum wage. Further, I was fired from one of them.
I have a feeling for these things, an instinct, and a highly sensitive nose that tells me that you have never signed both sides of a pay check. The back is for those being paid while the front is for those paying. If you are an acolyte in the school of “You Didn’t Build That” nonsense the difference is unexplainably alien and impossible to even remotely grasp. I’m sure you remember Candidate Obama telling Joe the Plumber that he wanted to “spread the wealth around”. Alas, the boob still doesn’t realize that you have to “create” it before you can “spread” it.
Of course, for people who believed him when he said he would “cool the earth and calm the seas”, all disbelief is voluntarily suspended.
Was that study from the same MIT that employs Jonathan Gruber and Noam Chomsky? Gruber would and has stolen many hot stoves because he knows that the people in the kitchen are “stupid”. Worse, they’ll help him steal them. For 6 decades Chomsky has built the ideological construct that is supposed to justify and sanctify the theft of same.
Finally, am I the only one to note that you and Johnny Manziel are dead ringers? I am not sure what you do for a living but you have a future as a stand in when your evil twin heads to the wild side of town.
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT @BELLSOUTH.NET
Ricardo Mor
The Miami Center of Architecture & Design
RE: Some observations on your unlinkable OP-ED plea in today’s Miami Herald for “fairness” in the form of a living wage.
Mr. Mor,
In the 1980s I “created” more than 400 jobs in 5 states, the highest of which paid $43,000 a year. The people I hired doubtless helped to “create” still more jobs through their purchases of the necessities of life. I have heard that 7 is the accepted multiplier for indirect jobs. I am proud of that number because the number of jobs “created” by the 30 companies in the Dow Jones Industrial Average in the ‘80s was zero.
That’s zero as in none.
You write that the MIT Living Wage Calculator says that $10.79 an hour is the minimum needed to earn a living wage in this county. Are you suggesting that this elusive “living wage” can vary from county to county? Vide Putnam County in northeast Florida. Its poverty rate is 26.4%. Its unemployment rate is 9.4%. What should its minimum wage be?
If they are unemployed, and worse, unemployable at $7.25 an hour how would raising it help them? If $10.79 is good wouldn’t $20.79 be better? Why stop there? $30.79 would have them farting through silk, if not really than vicariously, right? Instinct tells me that groups of unemployed people frequently talk about how good it feels to be unemployed at a higher minimum wage. It’s make you forget about an empty stomach.
Let me add that I was thrice employed at the minimum wage. Further, I was fired from one of them.
I have a feeling for these things, an instinct, and a highly sensitive nose that tells me that you have never signed both sides of a pay check. The back is for those being paid while the front is for those paying. If you are an acolyte in the school of “You Didn’t Build That” nonsense the difference is unexplainably alien and impossible to even remotely grasp. I’m sure you remember Candidate Obama telling Joe the Plumber that he wanted to “spread the wealth around”. Alas, the boob still doesn’t realize that you have to “create” it before you can “spread” it.
Of course, for people who believed him when he said he would “cool the earth and calm the seas”, all disbelief is voluntarily suspended.
Was that study from the same MIT that employs Jonathan Gruber and Noam Chomsky? Gruber would and has stolen many hot stoves because he knows that the people in the kitchen are “stupid”. Worse, they’ll help him steal them. For 6 decades Chomsky has built the ideological construct that is supposed to justify and sanctify the theft of same.
Finally, am I the only one to note that you and Johnny Manziel are dead ringers? I am not sure what you do for a living but you have a future as a stand in when your evil twin heads to the wild side of town.
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT @BELLSOUTH.NET
Sunday, January 11, 2015
January 8, 2015
Mitchell Berger, Esq.
Berger & Singer
350 E. Las Olas Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: 2 things, one of which requires a lawyer while the other requires an open mind.
Mr. Berger,
I want to publish all the Mohammed cartoons that the dead Parisians published. I want the ones with him eyeballing the baby goats and the baby girls. All of them; no exceptions. I want them in the Broward Library, in the City Hall, in the County administration building, in the County Courthouse, in the Board of Education HQ. Maybe we could have an art fair on Las Olas. With a few phone calls I am sure we could get Hobby Lobby to do a paint by the numbers class. Chick-fil-A could be persuaded to use them as a substitute for their toilet paper.
What I need is someone who is a champion of free speech – Aren’t modern American Liberals genetically imprinted with this marker? Weren’t they unanimous in their support of tax-payer funded “Corpus Cristi”, a play that says Jesus Christ was crucified because Judas Iscariot, his homosexual lover, felt slighted and gave him up to the Romans? Didn’t they lecture those offended by this theme that this is the price you must pay for living in a secular society? – who is familiar with the political process, particularly in Broward County, and who is a champion in navigating the treacherous shoals of bureaucracy.
I can think of no person better suited to this task than you. Alas, since all my capital is tied up in debt, it must be pro bono on your part.
I impose on you because I know you will have some unbilled time coming up when your firm announces that they will no longer be involved in real estate transactions, be they sale, purchase, lease, zoning adjustments, tax appeals, or any civil and criminal litigation involving any owner, tenant, or creditor, on any property on any body of water, and, to be sure, within sight of same.
Usually, when a successful modern American Liberal serendipitously finds some free time, he celebrates the hugely successful War on Poverty, the successes of Affirmative Action, the marvelous achievements of the public school he sends his children to, the wit and wisdom of Jimmy Carter, the triumphant spirit of Alger Hiss, the accomplishments of Margaret Sanger – except the parts that Hitler used in the Nuremberg Race laws, and speaking of Hitler, trying to air brush out of History, their unqualified support of him from August 22, 1939 to June 21, 1941.
A full plate indeed.
I am not sure how much unbilled time you will have but I have another suggestion.
“The Third Horseman”
Climate Change and the Great Famine of the X1Vth Century
Rosen
&
“Global Crisis”
War, Climate Change & Catastrophe in the XV11th Century
Parker
Both books share a common premise. Both authors look at empirical data and draw conclusions. Alas, their conclusions are that science governed by ideology – Remember Lysenko? – is stupidity morphing into criminality. After more than 50 years of nonsensical, clap trapish folderol, sometimes lapsing into the Professor Irwin Corey School of Research as presented by the Marx Brothers, Mel Brooks, and George Carlin – Rachel Carson has killed more Black babies in Africa than the abortionist butcher bill on Black babies in this country – it is good to be reminded that the scientific method and critical enquiry are enjoying a renascence in Western Civilization.
I hope you will join me on the barricades.
Kevin Smith
PS – Even though the Nebraska Supreme Court has ruled in favor of the Keystone Pipeline President B.H. Obama has said he will veto the bill authorizing it. Would I be out of line if I were to ask why he didn’t say this 6 years ago? Shouldn’t the most transparent administration in American History have done this? Decades of experience with card carrying, fire breathing modern American Liberal politicians and their skillful use of persiflage, particularly obfuscatory persiflage that gives bullshit a new gleam, should have warned me.
Mitchell Berger, Esq.
Berger & Singer
350 E. Las Olas Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: 2 things, one of which requires a lawyer while the other requires an open mind.
Mr. Berger,
I want to publish all the Mohammed cartoons that the dead Parisians published. I want the ones with him eyeballing the baby goats and the baby girls. All of them; no exceptions. I want them in the Broward Library, in the City Hall, in the County administration building, in the County Courthouse, in the Board of Education HQ. Maybe we could have an art fair on Las Olas. With a few phone calls I am sure we could get Hobby Lobby to do a paint by the numbers class. Chick-fil-A could be persuaded to use them as a substitute for their toilet paper.
What I need is someone who is a champion of free speech – Aren’t modern American Liberals genetically imprinted with this marker? Weren’t they unanimous in their support of tax-payer funded “Corpus Cristi”, a play that says Jesus Christ was crucified because Judas Iscariot, his homosexual lover, felt slighted and gave him up to the Romans? Didn’t they lecture those offended by this theme that this is the price you must pay for living in a secular society? – who is familiar with the political process, particularly in Broward County, and who is a champion in navigating the treacherous shoals of bureaucracy.
I can think of no person better suited to this task than you. Alas, since all my capital is tied up in debt, it must be pro bono on your part.
I impose on you because I know you will have some unbilled time coming up when your firm announces that they will no longer be involved in real estate transactions, be they sale, purchase, lease, zoning adjustments, tax appeals, or any civil and criminal litigation involving any owner, tenant, or creditor, on any property on any body of water, and, to be sure, within sight of same.
Usually, when a successful modern American Liberal serendipitously finds some free time, he celebrates the hugely successful War on Poverty, the successes of Affirmative Action, the marvelous achievements of the public school he sends his children to, the wit and wisdom of Jimmy Carter, the triumphant spirit of Alger Hiss, the accomplishments of Margaret Sanger – except the parts that Hitler used in the Nuremberg Race laws, and speaking of Hitler, trying to air brush out of History, their unqualified support of him from August 22, 1939 to June 21, 1941.
A full plate indeed.
I am not sure how much unbilled time you will have but I have another suggestion.
“The Third Horseman”
Climate Change and the Great Famine of the X1Vth Century
Rosen
&
“Global Crisis”
War, Climate Change & Catastrophe in the XV11th Century
Parker
Both books share a common premise. Both authors look at empirical data and draw conclusions. Alas, their conclusions are that science governed by ideology – Remember Lysenko? – is stupidity morphing into criminality. After more than 50 years of nonsensical, clap trapish folderol, sometimes lapsing into the Professor Irwin Corey School of Research as presented by the Marx Brothers, Mel Brooks, and George Carlin – Rachel Carson has killed more Black babies in Africa than the abortionist butcher bill on Black babies in this country – it is good to be reminded that the scientific method and critical enquiry are enjoying a renascence in Western Civilization.
I hope you will join me on the barricades.
Kevin Smith
PS – Even though the Nebraska Supreme Court has ruled in favor of the Keystone Pipeline President B.H. Obama has said he will veto the bill authorizing it. Would I be out of line if I were to ask why he didn’t say this 6 years ago? Shouldn’t the most transparent administration in American History have done this? Decades of experience with card carrying, fire breathing modern American Liberal politicians and their skillful use of persiflage, particularly obfuscatory persiflage that gives bullshit a new gleam, should have warned me.
Tuesday, January 6, 2015
January 6, 2015
Something about Mario Cuomo
The first great speech I ever heard as it was being delivered was the keynote address of Governor Frank Clement [D-Tenn] at the Democratic Convention in 1956. It was from the Southern style of Baptist tub thumping, stem winding oratory – N.B. the use of clichés - that you learn to appreciate if not for the content but for the delivery. It made page 1 of the New York Times
“It was said of Pericles that when he spoke men said “How well he speaks”. It was said of Demosthenes that when he spoke men said “Let us march”.
His speech led the convention to re-nominate Governor Adlai Stevenson of Illinois and Senator Estes Kefauver of Tennessee. [It must be noted for the record that Senator Kefauver, unlike Senator John Sparkman of Alabama, the Vice Presidential candidate of 1952, was not a stone-cold racist who spent his entire adult public life trying to keep little Black boys from going to school with little White girls
2 other things of note:
A – The recently released movie “Selma” has President Lyndon Johnson as the villain in the civil rights political dust ups of the ‘60s. Whatever else he was, and damn him for the 2 wars he started, neither of which he was prepared to win, one of which had 2,000,000 men in Vietnam and a wall in Washington with 58, 643 names on it, and the other, the one on poverty, that is still ongoing, he was no racist, secret or otherwise. The legislative villains in the piece were the Southern Democratic Senators who responded to the whip of the Klan. That shouldn’t be surprising since one of them – Robert Byrd [D-WVA] – was a Deputy Grand Kleagle in charge of out of town lynchings, He later became the Senate Majority Leader.
B – I remember an interview with Senator John Kennedy – [D-MA] after he lost in his bid to become the Vice Presidential candidate. I, as an Irish-Catholic, rooted for him, as did all my lanschmen. He said that while he was sorry he had lost he had learned an important lesson. He learned how to win. 4 years later, with help from his father’s tin box and a long count in Chicago, he won.
Governor Clement’s speech, the one that borrowed heavily on Cicero’s denunciations of Cataline, led to President Eisenhower being re-elected by a landslide. It even led to a Republican being elected to the House in the 13th district of New Jersey.
Bayonne and Jersey City were places where Republicans were not welcome after sundown and “Men Working” signs were regarded as GOP propaganda. He was unelected in 1958.
1958 was the beginning of the mantra “missile gap” and “Let’s get the country moving again”. Sliding down the modern American Liberal memory hole, a device without which they cannot live, are Quemoy and Matsu and whether or not the United States should go to war over them. Senator Kennedy said that any place is defensible if “free men chose to defend it”.
Sometimes great speeches don’t lead to great things. Sometimes they make us look more closely at the speaker
I was going to apply the rule of “de morituis” to the death of Governor Mario Cuomo. Then I read the New York Times obituary of him written by Adam Nagourney. You may recall that some 15 years ago that Dick Cheney, the sainted former Vice President, called him an “asshole”. Nothing in the last decade and a half has happened to change that personal assessment.
As to the New York Times, it is always owed to the record to recall that they wanted a cease fire with the South that would have preserved slavery. Considering that they acquiesced in calling Abraham Lincoln a “baboon” that would have been a Logical step. The Times can move their offices to Mars but they will not be able to escape the moral ordure of Walter Duranty A case can be made for him being the reason for World War 2 and its subsequent slaughters. That he was a bought and paid for boot-licking butt boy for the KGB and Stalin is/was bad enough. Their refusal, fast approaching a century, to acknowledge this journalistic infamy, is beyond contempt.
Whatever else Herbert Matthews did at the Times, his work to get Fidel Castro full time employment in Cuba worked very well
In the winter/spring of 2003, with the United States preparing for war, the Times saw fit to devote more page 1 content to the sad fact that there were too many urinals in the locker rooms of the Augusta national Golf Club. Perhaps a bra burning on the 18th green would have made them concentrate on other matters. Perhaps not.
Thus, when I got to the obituary of Cuomo I was both forewarned and forearmed. I’ll say this about the Times. It never lets you down.
“tinged by Roman Catholicism”
As a RC, alas, in my case perhaps Retried Catholic may be a better use of the initials, I am still deeply offended by the term. If I were a feral bomb tosser and a serial hater I could claim it was a hate crime and would have the dreaded Word Police on my side.
How can one be “tinged” with Roman Catholicism?
You either are or you aren’t.
The biopsy sample is malignant or it isn’t
You are either pregnant or you are not.
Is being “tinged by Roman Catholicism” the same as being tinged by Ebola?
Governor Cuomo gave a speech at Notre Dame University on abortion. It was very well received by press. Of course, the modern American Liberal press would praise Jack the Ripper if it turned out that any of the women he hacked to death was pregnant.
He tried to, forgive me, cut the baby in half.
He said that as a Roman Catholic, presumably one still “tinged” by it, he was “personally opposed” to abortion. The other shoe, one the size of a 7 League boot, came flying in quickly. He said that as Governor of New York he had no choice but to uphold Roe v Wade, it being the law of the land.
I wrote to him in the pre-WORD age meaning that no copy is available. I asked him if he had been Governor of New York and Dred Scott had been captured in Greenwich Village would he have signed the writ putting him on the midnight train to Georgia.
I am no longer waiting for an answer.
As to his oratorical skills…
I remember when Governor Nelson Rockefeller [D-NY] appointed him to mediate a dispute, racial in nature, over public housing. He talked so much that everybody forgot what they were yelling about. That propelled him to run for Governor. In the Democratic Primary his opponent was Mayor Ed Koch. Cuomo’s money line was “Vote for Cuomo, not the homo”. Who knows if it worked but he became Governor.
He gave the keynote address at the Democratic Convention in San Francisco in 1984. His speech was wildly applauded. The New York Times praised it in tumescent terms. The next November the Mondale-FerraroZaccaroFelliniZuchini ticket lost 49 states to the Great Reagan. The country realized that, yes, “there was a bear in the woods” and that giving him honey in the morning and salmon in the afternoon was no way to make him behave.
[I must add that when fellow Eye-Tie Antonin Scalia was nominated to the Supreme Court Cuomo said he would campaign against any Senator who opposed him. Scalia was approved unanimously. The lesson is obvious. Don’t fool around with overachieving Italian-Americans from Queens.
Governor Cuomo, of late and happy memory for it must be said that he was a good and decent man, went to a Roman Catholic grammar school, a Roman Catholic high school, a Roman Catholic college, and a Roman Catholic Law School. The New York Times and the uber-liberal upper West side Democrats had no problem with these credentials. When Rudy Giuliani presented himself to the electorate, even though he went to NYU Law School, absolutely a non-Roman Catholic institution, the bed wetting gravity defiers, rang the alarm bell. “Too Catholic” was what NYC Councilwoman Ronnie Eldridge, now Mrs. Jimmy Breslin, said of him. She too has failed to respond to a request to explain the difference.
I guess that while all Catholics are equal some Catholics are more equal than others.
I know that by now the differences between private beliefs and public actions and why giving up one for the sake of the other has been made clear to him. Giving up one to pursue the other leads to a “short road to chaos”. That road ends at the entrance to Avernus.
Alas, he can’t share this new found moral clarity with us.
The Divine Comedy, the Hound of Heaven, and A Man for all Seasons are best learned while living.
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Something about Mario Cuomo
The first great speech I ever heard as it was being delivered was the keynote address of Governor Frank Clement [D-Tenn] at the Democratic Convention in 1956. It was from the Southern style of Baptist tub thumping, stem winding oratory – N.B. the use of clichés - that you learn to appreciate if not for the content but for the delivery. It made page 1 of the New York Times
“It was said of Pericles that when he spoke men said “How well he speaks”. It was said of Demosthenes that when he spoke men said “Let us march”.
His speech led the convention to re-nominate Governor Adlai Stevenson of Illinois and Senator Estes Kefauver of Tennessee. [It must be noted for the record that Senator Kefauver, unlike Senator John Sparkman of Alabama, the Vice Presidential candidate of 1952, was not a stone-cold racist who spent his entire adult public life trying to keep little Black boys from going to school with little White girls
2 other things of note:
A – The recently released movie “Selma” has President Lyndon Johnson as the villain in the civil rights political dust ups of the ‘60s. Whatever else he was, and damn him for the 2 wars he started, neither of which he was prepared to win, one of which had 2,000,000 men in Vietnam and a wall in Washington with 58, 643 names on it, and the other, the one on poverty, that is still ongoing, he was no racist, secret or otherwise. The legislative villains in the piece were the Southern Democratic Senators who responded to the whip of the Klan. That shouldn’t be surprising since one of them – Robert Byrd [D-WVA] – was a Deputy Grand Kleagle in charge of out of town lynchings, He later became the Senate Majority Leader.
B – I remember an interview with Senator John Kennedy – [D-MA] after he lost in his bid to become the Vice Presidential candidate. I, as an Irish-Catholic, rooted for him, as did all my lanschmen. He said that while he was sorry he had lost he had learned an important lesson. He learned how to win. 4 years later, with help from his father’s tin box and a long count in Chicago, he won.
Governor Clement’s speech, the one that borrowed heavily on Cicero’s denunciations of Cataline, led to President Eisenhower being re-elected by a landslide. It even led to a Republican being elected to the House in the 13th district of New Jersey.
Bayonne and Jersey City were places where Republicans were not welcome after sundown and “Men Working” signs were regarded as GOP propaganda. He was unelected in 1958.
1958 was the beginning of the mantra “missile gap” and “Let’s get the country moving again”. Sliding down the modern American Liberal memory hole, a device without which they cannot live, are Quemoy and Matsu and whether or not the United States should go to war over them. Senator Kennedy said that any place is defensible if “free men chose to defend it”.
Sometimes great speeches don’t lead to great things. Sometimes they make us look more closely at the speaker
I was going to apply the rule of “de morituis” to the death of Governor Mario Cuomo. Then I read the New York Times obituary of him written by Adam Nagourney. You may recall that some 15 years ago that Dick Cheney, the sainted former Vice President, called him an “asshole”. Nothing in the last decade and a half has happened to change that personal assessment.
As to the New York Times, it is always owed to the record to recall that they wanted a cease fire with the South that would have preserved slavery. Considering that they acquiesced in calling Abraham Lincoln a “baboon” that would have been a Logical step. The Times can move their offices to Mars but they will not be able to escape the moral ordure of Walter Duranty A case can be made for him being the reason for World War 2 and its subsequent slaughters. That he was a bought and paid for boot-licking butt boy for the KGB and Stalin is/was bad enough. Their refusal, fast approaching a century, to acknowledge this journalistic infamy, is beyond contempt.
Whatever else Herbert Matthews did at the Times, his work to get Fidel Castro full time employment in Cuba worked very well
In the winter/spring of 2003, with the United States preparing for war, the Times saw fit to devote more page 1 content to the sad fact that there were too many urinals in the locker rooms of the Augusta national Golf Club. Perhaps a bra burning on the 18th green would have made them concentrate on other matters. Perhaps not.
Thus, when I got to the obituary of Cuomo I was both forewarned and forearmed. I’ll say this about the Times. It never lets you down.
“tinged by Roman Catholicism”
As a RC, alas, in my case perhaps Retried Catholic may be a better use of the initials, I am still deeply offended by the term. If I were a feral bomb tosser and a serial hater I could claim it was a hate crime and would have the dreaded Word Police on my side.
How can one be “tinged” with Roman Catholicism?
You either are or you aren’t.
The biopsy sample is malignant or it isn’t
You are either pregnant or you are not.
Is being “tinged by Roman Catholicism” the same as being tinged by Ebola?
Governor Cuomo gave a speech at Notre Dame University on abortion. It was very well received by press. Of course, the modern American Liberal press would praise Jack the Ripper if it turned out that any of the women he hacked to death was pregnant.
He tried to, forgive me, cut the baby in half.
He said that as a Roman Catholic, presumably one still “tinged” by it, he was “personally opposed” to abortion. The other shoe, one the size of a 7 League boot, came flying in quickly. He said that as Governor of New York he had no choice but to uphold Roe v Wade, it being the law of the land.
I wrote to him in the pre-WORD age meaning that no copy is available. I asked him if he had been Governor of New York and Dred Scott had been captured in Greenwich Village would he have signed the writ putting him on the midnight train to Georgia.
I am no longer waiting for an answer.
As to his oratorical skills…
I remember when Governor Nelson Rockefeller [D-NY] appointed him to mediate a dispute, racial in nature, over public housing. He talked so much that everybody forgot what they were yelling about. That propelled him to run for Governor. In the Democratic Primary his opponent was Mayor Ed Koch. Cuomo’s money line was “Vote for Cuomo, not the homo”. Who knows if it worked but he became Governor.
He gave the keynote address at the Democratic Convention in San Francisco in 1984. His speech was wildly applauded. The New York Times praised it in tumescent terms. The next November the Mondale-FerraroZaccaroFelliniZuchini ticket lost 49 states to the Great Reagan. The country realized that, yes, “there was a bear in the woods” and that giving him honey in the morning and salmon in the afternoon was no way to make him behave.
[I must add that when fellow Eye-Tie Antonin Scalia was nominated to the Supreme Court Cuomo said he would campaign against any Senator who opposed him. Scalia was approved unanimously. The lesson is obvious. Don’t fool around with overachieving Italian-Americans from Queens.
Governor Cuomo, of late and happy memory for it must be said that he was a good and decent man, went to a Roman Catholic grammar school, a Roman Catholic high school, a Roman Catholic college, and a Roman Catholic Law School. The New York Times and the uber-liberal upper West side Democrats had no problem with these credentials. When Rudy Giuliani presented himself to the electorate, even though he went to NYU Law School, absolutely a non-Roman Catholic institution, the bed wetting gravity defiers, rang the alarm bell. “Too Catholic” was what NYC Councilwoman Ronnie Eldridge, now Mrs. Jimmy Breslin, said of him. She too has failed to respond to a request to explain the difference.
I guess that while all Catholics are equal some Catholics are more equal than others.
I know that by now the differences between private beliefs and public actions and why giving up one for the sake of the other has been made clear to him. Giving up one to pursue the other leads to a “short road to chaos”. That road ends at the entrance to Avernus.
Alas, he can’t share this new found moral clarity with us.
The Divine Comedy, the Hound of Heaven, and A Man for all Seasons are best learned while living.
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Monday, January 5, 2015
January 5, 2015
Mitchell Berger, Esq
.Berger, Singer
350 E Las Olas Blvd
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: The ceasefire is over! – Some comments on your verbal incontinence in Sunday’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel OP-ED section
Mr. Berger,
What a putz!
I’ll put my last line first. I hope it doesn’t spoil it for you.
Apparently a 105% vegan diet – Barbecue chard? – and your continuing ideological tongue bath of Tom Steyer, a dirty coal mining, hedge fund conniving hypocrite of the decade has caused you to lose what little sense that was left in your addled brain.
You say, with nary a hint of sarcasm nor a tinge of sardony, that President B.H. Obama, noted serial vacationer, is to be commended for whatever happened in Afghanistan.
Imagine the following scenarios:
#1 – George Washington tells his troops “2 years tops. If the Red Coats aren’t beck in Blimey by then I’ll say we won and you can all go home’”
#2 – Abraham Lincoln, just after Bull Run, announces that hostilities with the South will cease in 18 months.
#3 – Just before Christmas, 1941 Fran kiln Roosevelt told Chester Nimitz to go to Pearl Harbor and not to come back until the Japanese Navy was at the bottom of the ocean and the United States navy s anchored in Tokyo Bay.
Suppose he told him that he wanted all the troops home by Labor Day, 1944? Who knows? Sushi Big Macs? Sashimi McMuffins? Height limits on basketball teams? Separation of Shinto & State? The losing coach in the Super Bowl cuts his stomach open?
I forget.
Did Obama draw a line in the sands of Kefiristan or was it the sand trap on the par 5 sixth hole at the Molokai Golf Club? Funny thing about “mulligans”. The real world, the world where “stones are hard and water is wet” specifically forbids them. Honest. Look it up.
I suggest you familiarize yourself with “the Great Game” and why Queen Victoria was not in the habit of making knighting losing generals and making them Field Marshalls? Google Lord Roberts – “Bobs” to Kipling, the first multicultural poet to win the Nobel Prize.
Re-read my first line.
Kevin Smith
PS – Two things
A – I am too old to hope but you as someone who grievously offended the Gods by believing than one man could “cool the earth and calm the seas” can still atone for this public display of hubris, of narcissism, of solipsism. All you have to do seek forgiveness is to announce at half-time of this year’s Super Bowl that your firm will no longer handle any real estate transactions – buy, sell, refinance, lease - where the property is on any water front or where any body of water is visible from any part of the property or any building on it. You know that the rising sea levels will soon make those properties into coral reef sanctuaries. You profiting from this would be as bad as saying, “If you like your doctor you can keep him”.
It is now the “consensus of scientists”, a “consensus” that is as least a strong as the one that kept Ptolemy as Top Gun in Astronomy for fifteen friggin’ centuries, that the keys to finding Atlantis and solving the mystery of the Bermuda Triangle, is to find Big Foot, Yeti, and Sasquatch. They know everything. Once they unclench their fists as we open our hands they will tell us everything. If we can round up the Headless Horseman, the Jersey Devil, Peter Cottontail, and Frosty the Snowman we can have the Discovery Channel on it.
Maybe we can have it on simultaneously with the Democratic Convention of 2016.
POP QUIZ
Who was it who said “we will pay any price, bear any burden…for the success of liberty”? He also mentioned the “long twilight struggle”.
A – The least evil of the Koch Brothers
B – Al Sharpton
C – Lard Kennedy’s older brother
D – Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
Mitchell Berger, Esq
.Berger, Singer
350 E Las Olas Blvd
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: The ceasefire is over! – Some comments on your verbal incontinence in Sunday’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel OP-ED section
Mr. Berger,
What a putz!
I’ll put my last line first. I hope it doesn’t spoil it for you.
Apparently a 105% vegan diet – Barbecue chard? – and your continuing ideological tongue bath of Tom Steyer, a dirty coal mining, hedge fund conniving hypocrite of the decade has caused you to lose what little sense that was left in your addled brain.
You say, with nary a hint of sarcasm nor a tinge of sardony, that President B.H. Obama, noted serial vacationer, is to be commended for whatever happened in Afghanistan.
Imagine the following scenarios:
#1 – George Washington tells his troops “2 years tops. If the Red Coats aren’t beck in Blimey by then I’ll say we won and you can all go home’”
#2 – Abraham Lincoln, just after Bull Run, announces that hostilities with the South will cease in 18 months.
#3 – Just before Christmas, 1941 Fran kiln Roosevelt told Chester Nimitz to go to Pearl Harbor and not to come back until the Japanese Navy was at the bottom of the ocean and the United States navy s anchored in Tokyo Bay.
Suppose he told him that he wanted all the troops home by Labor Day, 1944? Who knows? Sushi Big Macs? Sashimi McMuffins? Height limits on basketball teams? Separation of Shinto & State? The losing coach in the Super Bowl cuts his stomach open?
I forget.
Did Obama draw a line in the sands of Kefiristan or was it the sand trap on the par 5 sixth hole at the Molokai Golf Club? Funny thing about “mulligans”. The real world, the world where “stones are hard and water is wet” specifically forbids them. Honest. Look it up.
I suggest you familiarize yourself with “the Great Game” and why Queen Victoria was not in the habit of making knighting losing generals and making them Field Marshalls? Google Lord Roberts – “Bobs” to Kipling, the first multicultural poet to win the Nobel Prize.
Re-read my first line.
Kevin Smith
PS – Two things
A – I am too old to hope but you as someone who grievously offended the Gods by believing than one man could “cool the earth and calm the seas” can still atone for this public display of hubris, of narcissism, of solipsism. All you have to do seek forgiveness is to announce at half-time of this year’s Super Bowl that your firm will no longer handle any real estate transactions – buy, sell, refinance, lease - where the property is on any water front or where any body of water is visible from any part of the property or any building on it. You know that the rising sea levels will soon make those properties into coral reef sanctuaries. You profiting from this would be as bad as saying, “If you like your doctor you can keep him”.
It is now the “consensus of scientists”, a “consensus” that is as least a strong as the one that kept Ptolemy as Top Gun in Astronomy for fifteen friggin’ centuries, that the keys to finding Atlantis and solving the mystery of the Bermuda Triangle, is to find Big Foot, Yeti, and Sasquatch. They know everything. Once they unclench their fists as we open our hands they will tell us everything. If we can round up the Headless Horseman, the Jersey Devil, Peter Cottontail, and Frosty the Snowman we can have the Discovery Channel on it.
Maybe we can have it on simultaneously with the Democratic Convention of 2016.
POP QUIZ
Who was it who said “we will pay any price, bear any burden…for the success of liberty”? He also mentioned the “long twilight struggle”.
A – The least evil of the Koch Brothers
B – Al Sharpton
C – Lard Kennedy’s older brother
D – Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
December 23, 2014
Ron Klein, Esq.
Holland & Knight
515 E. Las Olas Blvd. #1200
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: Why be a half-assed dumb ass when you go for and get the gold? Some comments on your early Christmas present to righteous, literate bitter clingers with your comments in Sunday’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel.
Mr. Klein,
In its entirety…
“Two things:
Reduce debt for recent college graduates
and pay people, from low income to professional
levels, compensation that is reflective
of the value of their jobs.”
Jeezus Haitch Keerist, and in keeping with more joyful moments in the sacred Christmas season, that guarantees your admission to the to-be-published chapter of Homerically Dumb, Dopey Public Bastards in the next Guinness Book of Records.
What you said was understandably expected, indeed anticipated, since you were elected to the state legislature and to the House of Representatives as a modern American Liberal. A case for diminished capacity could be made. You had an irresistible impulse to stick your head so far up your ass that you could fill your own teeth. And you did. I’ll say this for modern American Liberals. They never let you down.
As an elected representative of a rabid electorate that favors 4th and 5th trimester abortions and believes that raising taxes and the minimum wage are sure paths to a booming economy you had to lie to make sure that your electors did not defenestrate and pitchfork you.
“Shovel Ready Jobs”
“Cash for Clunkers”
“Summer of Recovery”
“Attention World – America Sucks!”
“Islam is a religion of peace”
“Chamberlain was almost right”
“9/11? We deserved it”
“You can keep your doctor”
Saying and swearing to things like that are a burden on one’s soul. By cheapening the sacred coin of personal integrity your anima, your alma is abraded. The only up-tick is that since it is done over time there is no one fatal blow.
That is why when a modern American Liberal, leaving the world of perpetually lactating public mammaries, and re-entering the real world, the world where “water is wet and stones are hard”, can sometimes escape the siren’s call of non-thinking, of believing that the down side of gravity can be legislated, regulated, or adjudicated out of existence.
“Half way through my journey I found myself in the dark wood of error”
is the opening line of a poem from 7 centuries ago.
Alas, you are a minute late and a buck short
“Reduce debt for new college graduates” is an unrefreshingly absurd theme whose time is gone.
How did these new college graduates become encumbered by those crushing obligations?
Did a nocturnal predatory lender, either an incubus, a succubus, or something gender neutral in deference to today’s gender confusion, convince them to borrow money, egregious amounts of money, from beleaguered American taxpayers to take courses such as
“The Problems of Cross Dressing Trans-Gendered
Haiku Constructors in a Post-Racial World Doomed by
Capitalism and White Peoples’ Greed”
“Change PI from 3.1416 to 3.0. Who needs Math?”
“Who needs Washington or Lincoln?
We Have Jimmy Carter”
“The Constitution. Fuck it. Who needs it?”
“Killing Cops: An underappreciated cultural purgative”?
I am sorry the economy is not demanding academic disciplines such as the above described. Doubtless it is a legacy of the Bushes, the Koch Brothers, Sarah Palin, and the NRA. And Nixon, Reagan, Rush Limbaugh, and Global Warming and Cooling Deniers must bear their share of the blame.
Why, pray tell, should an inner city single mom, usually a woman of color with children in need of a good Ritalin program who, by lack of public transportation find themselves deprived of the salutary benefits of Midnight Basketball, plus being exploited by the low prices that Walmart offers, have to pay their “fair share” of delinquent student loans?
Have you no heart? Have you no compassion?
Are you a secret acolyte of the Tea Party? Are you in thralldom to Big Oil?
But then I got to the good part. It is worth repeating in its entirety
“…pay people, from low-income to professional levels,
compensation that is reflective of the value of their jobs.”
[As an aside, I swear and affirm that I have played basketball as hard as Lebron James ever has, that I played football as hard as Tom Brady ever has, and that I can play the cello as hard as Yo-Yo Ma ever has. I quickly add that I can’t play any of them as well. Ants and beavers work very hard.]
God’s Holy Trousers but if you believe dreck such as you say you better learn how to get food stamps. Does your wife have any negotiable skills other than keeping your intellectual and ethical balloon inflated enough to keep from crash landing in the jungles of reality.
Your business plan is simple and direct.
“While I am no longer an elected official I have many friends in Broward County, in Palm Beach County, in Tallahassee, in Washington, and in several foreign capitals who are. The old boys club of crony capitalism, the one that reaches across the aisle, is still open for business. Besides, I know where all the bodies are buried. Pay me and I will put the fix in. Then we will both be farting through silk.”
I hope your kids were adopted. Your line of moral relativism and its needed prerequisite antecedents, spawned in the shallow end of the pool of ethics and morality, must not go forward.
Since ObamaCare is rife with exceptions if vasectomies are not covered see if an exception can be gotten. I’ll pick up the co-pay.
As to “the value of their jobs” I am willing to bet that you would not know which end of an ax is the working end.
Your only defense is that you and Jonathan Guber, he of “Americans are stupid. Thank God we are looking out for them”, share mutual great-grandparents.
I tremble when I remember that G-d is just.
Kevin Smith
Ron Klein, Esq.
Holland & Knight
515 E. Las Olas Blvd. #1200
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: Why be a half-assed dumb ass when you go for and get the gold? Some comments on your early Christmas present to righteous, literate bitter clingers with your comments in Sunday’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel.
Mr. Klein,
In its entirety…
“Two things:
Reduce debt for recent college graduates
and pay people, from low income to professional
levels, compensation that is reflective
of the value of their jobs.”
Jeezus Haitch Keerist, and in keeping with more joyful moments in the sacred Christmas season, that guarantees your admission to the to-be-published chapter of Homerically Dumb, Dopey Public Bastards in the next Guinness Book of Records.
What you said was understandably expected, indeed anticipated, since you were elected to the state legislature and to the House of Representatives as a modern American Liberal. A case for diminished capacity could be made. You had an irresistible impulse to stick your head so far up your ass that you could fill your own teeth. And you did. I’ll say this for modern American Liberals. They never let you down.
As an elected representative of a rabid electorate that favors 4th and 5th trimester abortions and believes that raising taxes and the minimum wage are sure paths to a booming economy you had to lie to make sure that your electors did not defenestrate and pitchfork you.
“Shovel Ready Jobs”
“Cash for Clunkers”
“Summer of Recovery”
“Attention World – America Sucks!”
“Islam is a religion of peace”
“Chamberlain was almost right”
“9/11? We deserved it”
“You can keep your doctor”
Saying and swearing to things like that are a burden on one’s soul. By cheapening the sacred coin of personal integrity your anima, your alma is abraded. The only up-tick is that since it is done over time there is no one fatal blow.
That is why when a modern American Liberal, leaving the world of perpetually lactating public mammaries, and re-entering the real world, the world where “water is wet and stones are hard”, can sometimes escape the siren’s call of non-thinking, of believing that the down side of gravity can be legislated, regulated, or adjudicated out of existence.
“Half way through my journey I found myself in the dark wood of error”
is the opening line of a poem from 7 centuries ago.
Alas, you are a minute late and a buck short
“Reduce debt for new college graduates” is an unrefreshingly absurd theme whose time is gone.
How did these new college graduates become encumbered by those crushing obligations?
Did a nocturnal predatory lender, either an incubus, a succubus, or something gender neutral in deference to today’s gender confusion, convince them to borrow money, egregious amounts of money, from beleaguered American taxpayers to take courses such as
“The Problems of Cross Dressing Trans-Gendered
Haiku Constructors in a Post-Racial World Doomed by
Capitalism and White Peoples’ Greed”
“Change PI from 3.1416 to 3.0. Who needs Math?”
“Who needs Washington or Lincoln?
We Have Jimmy Carter”
“The Constitution. Fuck it. Who needs it?”
“Killing Cops: An underappreciated cultural purgative”?
I am sorry the economy is not demanding academic disciplines such as the above described. Doubtless it is a legacy of the Bushes, the Koch Brothers, Sarah Palin, and the NRA. And Nixon, Reagan, Rush Limbaugh, and Global Warming and Cooling Deniers must bear their share of the blame.
Why, pray tell, should an inner city single mom, usually a woman of color with children in need of a good Ritalin program who, by lack of public transportation find themselves deprived of the salutary benefits of Midnight Basketball, plus being exploited by the low prices that Walmart offers, have to pay their “fair share” of delinquent student loans?
Have you no heart? Have you no compassion?
Are you a secret acolyte of the Tea Party? Are you in thralldom to Big Oil?
But then I got to the good part. It is worth repeating in its entirety
“…pay people, from low-income to professional levels,
compensation that is reflective of the value of their jobs.”
[As an aside, I swear and affirm that I have played basketball as hard as Lebron James ever has, that I played football as hard as Tom Brady ever has, and that I can play the cello as hard as Yo-Yo Ma ever has. I quickly add that I can’t play any of them as well. Ants and beavers work very hard.]
God’s Holy Trousers but if you believe dreck such as you say you better learn how to get food stamps. Does your wife have any negotiable skills other than keeping your intellectual and ethical balloon inflated enough to keep from crash landing in the jungles of reality.
Your business plan is simple and direct.
“While I am no longer an elected official I have many friends in Broward County, in Palm Beach County, in Tallahassee, in Washington, and in several foreign capitals who are. The old boys club of crony capitalism, the one that reaches across the aisle, is still open for business. Besides, I know where all the bodies are buried. Pay me and I will put the fix in. Then we will both be farting through silk.”
I hope your kids were adopted. Your line of moral relativism and its needed prerequisite antecedents, spawned in the shallow end of the pool of ethics and morality, must not go forward.
Since ObamaCare is rife with exceptions if vasectomies are not covered see if an exception can be gotten. I’ll pick up the co-pay.
As to “the value of their jobs” I am willing to bet that you would not know which end of an ax is the working end.
Your only defense is that you and Jonathan Guber, he of “Americans are stupid. Thank God we are looking out for them”, share mutual great-grandparents.
I tremble when I remember that G-d is just.
Kevin Smith
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