October 1, 2018 Rosemary O’Hara – Editorial Page Editor The Sun Sentinel

October 1, 2018

Rosemary O’Hara – Editorial Page Editor

The Sun Sentinel

RE: Gillum, a target rich environment. An endorsing editorial that, like herpes, keeps on giving.

Ms. O,

If climate change is an “urgent thing” what can he do, other than issue irrational Jeremiads about the evils of civilization before promising to “cool the earth and calm the seas”….Wait a minute. Didn’t somebody promise that about 9 years ago? How did that work out? Let me be more specific. Has the earth cooled? Are the seas calmer?

Herewith some suggestions to get him started on his hundred-day march to Utopia.

#1 – Manatee suffrage. And picking up an almost forgotten idea from Lani Guinier – remember her? – disproportionate voting.

#2 – No A/C in any state owned or leased building.

#3 – If you work for the state you use public transit or a bike.

#4 – Ban the use of coal by any utility doing selling electricity in Florida.

#5 – Just say NO to plastic straws, plastic medical devices, and disposable diapers.

But back to Judge Kavanaugh

If “he” is guilty because “she” says “he” is shouldn’t Keith Ellison, he of Democratic

 National Committee status, [just like Little Debbie] be taken out and horsewhipped, spayed, and then lynched? After all, “she”, the victim, is White.

And shouldn’t Tom Robinson – and as a card carrying, fire breathing modern American Liberal if you don’t know who Tom Robinson is I’ll be shocked, shocked – be dug up and, this time, shot legally? 

But back to Gillum.

#6 – If Gillum will mandate that any and all pre-existing conditions must be covered by health insurers, the equivalent of guaranteed issue [that’s inside baseball talk used by people in the insurance racket] why not allow patients to sign up for zero deductible health coverage before they reach the triage unit at the emergency room? Also, if it works there, why not guaranteed issue for DUI dudes and dudesses with automobile insurance? Ditto for arsonists with homeowner’s, right? After all, fairus in unum, fairus in omnibus is only fair, right?

#7 – If DeSantis is borderline racist – not quite as bad as former Klan member Senator Byrd [D-WV] who twice used the dreaded “N” word on national TV or Senator Irvin [D-NC] whose main goal in public life was to keep little Black boys from going to school with little White girls – for using, despite having degrees from 2 Ivy League schools, the verboten word monkey – Does that put him in the Howard Cosell league? – what does that make B. Obama, who also has degrees from 2 Ivy Leagues schools, and used the same word?

#8 – Which brings us to the Miriam Oliphant comparison. She was the ideal candidate for the modern American Liberals of Broward County. Attractive, clean, semi-articulate, quasi-educated [Master’s degrees concentrating on attendance reports and whether the 50-yard line is still on the football field don’t really count, do they?] but truly as dumb as a box of hammers, she was the perfect porch Nigress for the nest of vipers who control Broward County.

That she got fired was not my fault. She committed the one unforgiveable sin. She was stupid in a Guinness Book manner.

 I must add that she too sent the cops to my house – Shades of Little Debbie? – because of something I wrote. The first thing BSO Deputy Joe Kessling said to me was “You’re not in trouble” to which I said, “What do you mean I’m not in trouble? You have a badge and a fucking gun. What do you mean “I’m not in trouble?”

Anyway, it ended well. The Republican Governor who fired her replaced her, doubtless after a national search, with another equally qualified Black woman. I’ll say this for her replacement. She hasn’t hired anyone who wanted to steal any hot stove left untended, as her predecessor did, and she seems to have the sense to come in out of the rain. I don’t know if she could pour piss out of a boot.

As Dickens said, Gillum is “smart and no fool”. He doesn’t have to toot his own horn. Not as long as he has media lackeys who will do it for him. I witnessed a reprise of a Chris Matthews moment – “Obama sent a thrill up my leg” – Sunday morning last when Michael Putney and Glenna Milberg, 2 old hands who disconnected their BS meter, competed to see who could touch the hem of his regal robes and maybe, just maybe, have his shadow fall across their path.

You end your editorial by saying that DeSantis’s denial of inherent racism in his use of the word monkey “is not persuasive”. If he bought Gary Hart’s pleasure craft, aptly named “Monkey Business”, and sunk it would that be sufficient to satisfy the “eclectically indignant” indulgences granters? How about if he burned, at the stake, all the “Planet of the Apes” movies?

Finally, you say “Florida is an increasingly diverse state”. That usually leads to “Diversity is our strength”, an unchallengeable modern American Liberal shibboleth. Could you explain that to me, using as many declarative sentences as required?

Kevin Smith WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET