October 14, 2018 Fred Grimm The Sun Sentinel

October 14, 2018

Fred Grimm

The Sun Sentinel

RE: This year’s Storm of the Century, maybe of the Millennium, and why it is always our fault and the only way to save ourselves is to introduce a 105% tax rate and outlaw electricity even though women and minorities will suffer disproportionately, as they always, always do. As explained in your unlinkable Op-Ed lament in today’s Sun Sentinel and entitled, aptly, “Leaving a Legacy of Disasters”.

Mr. Grimm, 

As a card carrying, fire breathing – a about a half a bubble off plumb – modern American Liberal, and speaking truth to power, you are more run of the mill than the exception, it encouraged, indeed mandated, that you conflate, constantly and confusingly,

causation and correlation on things about which you are abysmally ignorant. It is good that you take up your journalistic cudgels to tell us that weasely, wascally Wepublicans, in constant pursuit of filthy lucre guarded jealously by a wily Mammon, wake each day trying to figure a new way to Xyklon B unsuspecting coral reefs, how to defenestrate furbish louseworts, how to exsanguinate delhi smelts, while exercising the ultimate in White privilege by acquiescing in the annual deaths of more than 2,000,000 sub-Saharan

Brown and Black babies by allowing mosquitoes to kill them.

Among the great gifts from the DWEMs was the Trivium., the capstone of which is Logic. It is obvious from your columns that it is a term with which you are not familiar It may as well have been written in Pashto or transmitted as whole cloth from one of the minor moons of Jupiter.

One of the most important perks of modern American is the genetic infusion of “eclectic indignation”. It enables you to see past the 2x4 in your eye while focusing on the mote in your neighbor’s orb. That, coupled with your extensive use of tautologies, without which you would have no, as in none, zip, zero, brain activity at all, gives an unbroken, true flat line.

Allow me to digress.

You know, of course, that global warming ended the last Ice Age and gave us the conditions that enabled the Renaissance to flourish. The Renaissance I refer to is the one that started in Italy. The end of the Ice Age I refer to gave us, inter alia, Niagara Falls. Honest. You could look it up.

Did EXXON cause the unnamed hurricane of 1935? How about the one in1937? 1925? How about the one in Galveston in 1908? Did fracking trigger that one? How about Krakatoa? Who/What caused that? How about the 1918 Flu? How about the Black Death? How about Vesuvius? How about the regular as clock work, every 750,000 years, Yellowstone eruption that wipes out all terrestrial life? By the way, we are at the outer edge of the envelope for the next one. Did Noah sail into the Scylla-like Avernus of biblical floods?

Did you know that the first time the whales were saved was because Colonel Drake spudded his first oil well in Titusville, PA in 1859? 3 years later the New England based whale oil OPEC cartel was gone, only to be remembered in novels?

Did you know, you silly, silly little man that the literal meaning of the word “Adirondack” has nothing to do with the noble aborigines who were done in by Lord Jeff and his band of merry prankster wanabees? “Adirondack” entered the American lexicon almost 3 centuries ago, “before the country was ours”. It means “dry and bitter land”. It was called that long before we had “acid rain”. It goes without saying – Don’t you love that phrase? – that “acid rain” was caused by salve owners, Jay Gould, purveyors of Manifest Destiny, “Know Nothings”, Nullification theorists, and just mean and nasty rotters and bounders who wanted to get rich by despoiling Mother Nature while pissing on Gaia’s leg.

One of my granddaughters drove down to surprise Bumps, her curmudgeonoly grandfather. That she did it in a non-polar bear drowning car gave me hope for the future.

Now if we can get tofu to substitute for penicillin there may yet be hope for all our futures, right? 

Familiarize yourself with the word ohmadahn. I’ll need a head shot of you for the next Guinness Record Book.

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET