Stop Digging! Go Duke! Can Colombia be the next Singapore? Why not? Press on! Freedom and fat children await!

September 24, 2019

Did you know that hombres de Mexico wear – except Zapata - pencil-thin mustaches and that their ladies sometimes shave neither their legs nor their arm pits? I know this because I lived there. Indian kids used to pull the hair on my arms when I was coming back from the clinic construction site in Huejutla. The reason they did this was simple. Hello world? Indian kids didn’t have hair on their arms. Mustaches say, “I am blanco, not meztiso” Meztiso is café au lait for die hard gringos.

The next time a treacly bracero tries to lecture you on race relations give him a used Gillette and tell him to shit in his sombrero and pull it down over his orejas because he looks good in maduro.

Thanatopically speaking, we are under 12 years to the end of troubled times. As in forever and ever. Existentially, it is because of plastic, Disco, flatulent bovines, red meat, A/Cs, and selfish White Privilege. Tell me then why 12,500 baby rib-eyes were cooked and consumed at the Polk County Iowa Democratic Greet and Eat Fair last weekend? I thought these people cared for us and wanted us to sacrifice to make us more caring and sensitive? Hasn’t anyone in Iowa ever heard of tofu? How about kale?

Hunter Biden, a grifter who got busted out of the U.S Navy for illegal drug use, sold a marker on his father, Slow Joe Biden, the Vice President of the United States for $50,000 a month. Qadhafi got one on Jimmuh Carter when he fronted Billy Beer, Brother Billy Carter’s Beer company. Later on, Dwayne Andreas of ADM got a big one on President Carter by buying his peanut farm. Closing documents show that it was almost a cashless transaction what with ADM assuming Carter’s outside debt, most of which was owed to ADM. Doubtless, it had been written down and off years before.

Marker? In Eye-Tie it is an obligado. The more you have, particularly form people further up the food chain, the better it is for you. It’s what Strozk and Page, the 2 ex-FBI agents who set a Guinness Book record for rutting in broom closet on the 5th floor of the Hoover Building, called an “insurance policy”.

Of course, I believe in Climate Change.

What do you think ended the last Ice Age?

For that matter, there was an upward spike in temperature about 1000 years ago. Try to follow this. I’ll type slowly.

When ambient temperature rises good things happen. More land becomes more arable. More arable land means more protein. More protein makes people smarter. Smarter people, 1000 years ago, gave us the Renaissance. Do you have a problem with Petrarch? With Dante? Speak up, you omadhaun. I can’t hear you. 

Here’s a plan. Put your teeth in upside down and backwards and chew yourself to death, you boob. And what if that 15-year-old shit from Sweden shows up tomorrow in the operating room and wants to take your appendix out?

I don’t like what happened with the Federal Reserve and the Repo market last week. Twice. Those ham-handed, lead-footed bureaucrats aren’t exactly Nijinsky-like when it comes to delicate, market intervening jetes. Those of you with time on your hands, cat-like curiosity, and access to the Internet, the one that Vice President Alpha Gump invented, GOOGLE up Drysdale Securities.

The estate of Jason Epstein will not be selling tee-shirts or coffee mugs like Einstein, Marilyn Monroe, or James Dean. So why is Bill Cosby, convicted of various sex crimes and in the pokey for same, back on TV?

The little hectoring snot from Sweden, the one with the knitted knickers hectoring the self-flagellating dummies at the UN, most of whom are self-hating White First Worlders, should not have her skinny ass kicked.

Water balloons, cream pies, nuggies, wedgies, possibly flaming bags of cat shit, nerf balls, should be flung violently at her.

Confront her with courtesy but smack her. Repeatedly.

10:49 AM

Trump just gave a great speech at the UN

The President of Colombia, Ivan “El Duque” Marquez, has spent enough time in this country to know that “Duke” Is not an inherited title here but is earned and granted as a title of respect, honor, and praise.

VIVA EL DUQUE!

I heard him on TV muy temprano hoy. I tell you he is a cross between Edmund Burke, Milton Friedman, Arthur Laffer, with a soupcon of Barnum and Huey Long tossed in – like salsa on the side.

Bernie, the Bullshitting Bolshie and Lieawatha Warren notwithstanding, Socialism stinks because it sucks. Other than never having worked ever and anywhere it has been tried, it is an interesting academic exercise, kind of like what would have happened if Abe Fortas hadn’t put the fix in Duval County, Texas in 1948 or Daley did in Chicago in 1960. Would there have been a Vietnam Wall in DC? Maybe next time it will work? Maybe next time my brother the hunchback will straighten up. Maybe the next time I stand in a bucket and try to pick it up by the handle it will work. Maybe I can tax and regulate my way to prosperity. Maybe I can forget about Orwell and Solzhenitsyn. Maybe I can play tennis without a net or, sometimes, a ball

Cuba and Venezuela are failed states. Each has 3 common problems: #1 – Breakfast; #2 – Lunch: #3 – Dinner.

The Duke says the first thing to do when you realize that you have been digging a hole on the wrong side of the fence is simple.

Stop Digging!

Go Duke!

Can Colombia be the next Singapore?

Why not?

Press on!

Freedom and fat children await!

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

PS – Entering the 10 ring for a Texas-sized ass whupping is Jeffrey Sachs, PhD, Columbia University. 15 years ago, he wanted to save the world from the ravages of conspicuous consumption and teen-age obesity by taxing its wealth every year. Now he says the solution to Global Warming is mandatory abortion. My grandfather, Jack Smith from Ballyglass, could never figure out why there were more horses’ asses than horses’ heads. I am glad to see that some things never change

PS – The next time a tree hugging Eco-Nazi bellyaches about rising sea levels remind him that Miami Beach was built on a man-made sand bar and that the lease may not be renewed.

PS – “Breathes there a man with soul so dead who never to himself has said, ‘This is my own, my native land?’” Thank you President Trump.