October 16, 2019 Rosemary O’Hara – Editorial Page Editor The Sun Sentinel RE: Randy Schutz get’s week’s reprieve ...

October 16, 2019

Rosemary O’Hara – Editorial Page Editor

The Sun Sentinel

RE: Randy Schutz get’s week’s reprieve from spending well-earned, no Affirmative Action here, by golly, time in the barrel. Some comments, not on POO Randy – POO? Perpetually Outraged and Offended – Shultz, your resident Jeremiah, about the evils done, being done and, based on last night’s half-assed raree, to be done for the next 6 years of governance not seen since the glory days of the 5 Emperors. As it appears in today’s Sun Sentinel.

Ms O, 

Brother Schultz got a week off from his well earned pole-axing from me, not because I now believe in Midnight Basketball or that good programs administered by men, ladies, and unknown genders of good will, can change human nature, reach the horizon and leap over it into the Workers’ Paradise of Utopia, but because his column on the White Judge in Palm Beach not being nice to the Black defendant reminded me of my father, the legendary Judge Smith.

I remember, “with advantages”, bringing my 6-year-old son into his courtroom, particularly on sentencing day. [Late in the last century, when the Broward Courthouse resembled a judicial Animal House, your paper published a brief reminiscence of him written by me.

I would remind my father, usually over a large whisky – I say “large” out of respect for his father who did not believe that any whisky could be “large” – that while he was enjoying a jocular side bar with the prosecutor and defense counsel, the defendant, the “alleged perpetrator”, the one presumed innocent, was sitting alone with his balls on the block asking himself what the Hell was so funny? I would bring in the 8^th Amendment which would always require a refill.

And that’s why Randy gets the day off.

That leaves you and you paper. 

Underneath Randy’s offering is a column written by a modern American Liberal. I know that because its headline reads “Improving Mental Health for Minors Remains a Top Priority”. I know that Representative Silvers believes that Trump, the Climate Change Denying anti-Christ, is in favor of minors going bat-shit bonkers.

Fess up. You believe it too.

Your editorial on political satire leaves a few gaps.

You say that although Trump “appears to have no role” in preparing the video, a video that features wholesale violence led by Trump, your hazy use of litotes suggests that maybe, possibly, probably, definitely he did a Mel Gibson “Braveheart” reprise. Wrote it, directed it, and starred in it. Dawn will slip past the rooster before that gets past your mAL gimlet eye

Does anyone remember the last scene of Hamlet? How about Romeo and Juliet? Anything to do with Oedipus? Is it still dangerous to be an infant in Swift’s Dublin? Was Chinko Premier Xi setting new boundaries for a Mandarin version of Billingsgate when he promised the protestors “bones and blood” would be on the streets or is that just Cantonese hyperbole?

Quis custodes custodiet or is that too elitist? Does it reek of White Privilege?

Page 20A tells us that “Haiti’s Leader Refuses to Resign Amid Unrest”. When did you hire headline writers from The Onion?

Page 12A proclaims that “Hunter Biden Rejects Doing Anything Wrong in Dealings.” Other than being President of the Fighting Blue Hen chapter of the Lucky Sperm chapter, he’s right.

Page 2B tells us that the Hitler model of governance works. It was the model that Papa Francisco, the current Pope, grew up under. It picks which friend to back in business. That’s how the Autobahn and Auschwitz got built. In Fort Lauderdale, former Senator Christopher Smith, still Black, got a “forgivable loan of $100,000” to go with the original loan of $350,000 to open a wings and rib restaurant on Sistrunk Boulevard. The still Black Smith – no relation - got a “No” vote from Mayor Trantalis. That prompted Commissioner McKinzie to accuse the Mayor of “borderline racism”. [I have a pathology report with 2 words on it that are important to me. #1 – My name and #2 the word malignant. Like the word “unique”, malignant can’t be modified. It either is or it isn’t. I thought it also applied to a few other words; viz. pregnant, strike 3, and racism. Can a restaurateur on Las Olas, who has a thriving business selling Eye-Tie food, dip his beak in the same trough that the Brothers do?

Senator Smith – still Black and still no relation – said, “I put skin, blood, bones, sweat and tears” into the dal. That, plus $450,000 of Fort Lauderdale taxpayer money, is a good start. I am not sure what Churchill has to do with it but that’s OK by me. I don’t know how the city secured its loan but if all goes well, they will get our money back. Maybe. The word “forgivable” is a delight to borrowers. If all goes well does the city have an equity kicker in the deal or is that question presumptively over the line “racist”?

Page 1 says “Medicare for All Proves Divisive”. P.J. O’Rourke, noted sag and pundit, says he was a Socialist until he saw how much various governments took out of his first pay check in New York City. He also said, “If you think medicine is expensive now wait until it’s free.”

170,000,000 Americans have private medical insurance provided through their employers. Most of the candidates want to stop this and replace it with a plan run by the Post Office, the IRS, and the besot of the state-run DMVs. And that is going to beat Trump? 

It is, as the great Dr. Johnson said, “the triumph of hope over experience.”

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

PS – Addendum – Page 27A tells us about Trump’s “baseless charges” about Hunter Biden. Further on, you say that “without providing evidence, Trump has repeatedly said that Biden’s son improperly profited….” with the inference being that if his name were Hunter Slojanowski, he’d still be playing pocket ball. Other than having no experience in the gas business or the pipe line business and getting a less than honorable discharge from the navy because of a cocaine habit $50,000 to $80,000 per month for the son of a sitting Vice President is about what the market could bear.