March 22, 2019 I am sure this question is unique in that it has never been asked of any other

March 22, 2019

I am sure this question is unique in that it has never been asked of any other  

Congresswoman Ilhan: Did you marry your brother?

I don’t like borscht. The last time I had derma I was with Imre Rosenthal at Dubbrow’s. I can go for days, even weeks, without listening to klezmer. Max Katz is still my favorite American Jew. I have never been to Israel and I am still not a Jew. But I am as much a part of Israel philosophically, ideologically, and spiritually as I am of Athens and Rome. The divinely crafted three-legged stool codified rights that were mine “from beyond the stars” was in place when the warp and the woof were loomed, joined hands if you will, in Ballyglass and Cork. Which leads me to a paradox.

What strange virus is eating at the brain and soul of American Jews?

If Trump is a Jew hater what does that make Chomsky and Soros?

Is it a rite of passage, one that is needed to gain final acceptance into the sanctum sanctorum of modern American Liberalism, that Jewish politicians must denounce Israel as if it were a rabid dog or a coiled viper? It is like a snake eating itself. At some point, there is nothing left to bite. And meanwhile, despite the continuing du jour denial of its existence, evil, as defined by T.S. Eliot, prospers. And Jews will be the first to see the business end of the spear. I guess the idea of a universal yiddishe kup was one of the more successful parts of the world-wide Zionist conspiracy.

I don’t want to tempt the Gods but the sky is as blue today as it was on 9/11.

I love beer. I love it so much that I banned both lite beer and all Anheuser-Busch products form my daughter’s wedding reception. Skip the de gustibus part, the best beer in America is Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale. My Damascus moment was in Mexico in 1963 where I was doing the Lord’s Work as a lay missionary when I was introduced to the pleasures of Dos Equis.

I have never tasted Stella Artois. About 12 years ago I was offered some by the stick man at Waxy O’Conner’s. He called it the “wife beater”. because if you have a few of them you go home and beat your wife. I declined saying if I wanted to beat my wife, I didn’t need beer to do it.

Now Samuel Adams joins the do not drink list’.

They announced that were offering a new brew named in honor of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Other than her friendship with Justice Scalia and her desire to be the new Wicked Witch when the Wizard of Oz is remade, I find nothing sudsworthy about her. In fact, she may be living proof of Shakespeare’s derisive aside about outlawing “small beer”.

Once you are on my shit list, you stay on my shit list, particularly when it comes to beer.

Congresswoman Ilhan, did you marry your brother? It goes unasked.

Nobody ever asked Sarah Palin that question.

One late night jokester mused that he wanted her teenage gang raped, remember?

Wazzupwidat?

I guess, like Judas, it’s too late for Saturday Night to redeem itself.

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDI@BELLSOUTH.NET

March 23, 2019 Even though they are standing tippy-toed on a shaky stool with the offal reaching their lower lips, and let me say this in admiration of the grit of modern American Liberals,

March 23, 2019

Even though they are standing tippy-toed on a shaky stool with the offal reaching their lower lips, and let me say this in admiration of the grit of modern American Liberals,

nothing stops their drive for anti-nomianalism in all things. They press on. Pete Seeger, noted Hitler bum kisser from August 22, 1939 to June 21, 1941, used to warble at LBJ about being “Waist deep in the Big Muddy but the fool pushes on”.

It would normally be a sign of senescent “eclectic indignation” or a hubris that would shame Icarus – alas, only once, as it turned out – but Barbra Streisand just leapt to the defense of Michael Jackson. It is the same Ms. Streisand who so hates our beloved President that she says he made her get a fat ass. Every time she sees or hears il Magnifico, she eats 8 pancakes with syrup and gooey stuff. “There is no end to his perfidy”, is what she didn’t say as she reaches for the industrial strength WD-40 and the Spanx. She need the Jaws of Life to take a dump.

She says that while you may not like a 50-year-old guy who wears one silver glove, walks backwards very skillfully, and keeps a monkey and a giraffe in the closet of the downstairs surprise guest play room, and who, after root beer floats and Mumbles the Clown, goes speeding down the sodomite Hershey Highway with 9-year-olds, exits at the carousel, the one with real animals ,for a refreshing “bit of the gobble”, at least the little buggered buggers weren’t murdered.

Reductio ad Absurdum, and eclectically forgetting MaryJo Kopechne, wouldn’t all the faux-outraged chick accusers, starting with Anita Hill and going up to the dizzy broad who thinks that maybe 36 or 37 years ago, in either a big house or a really big house in Virginia or maybe Maryland the frat boy named Brett Kavanaugh tried to grab some sweater meat, shouldn’t all those outraged, and I mean outraged – with the exception of the people talking about Big Bill Clinton, the King of the One-Eyed Trouser Snakes and didn’t Nina Burleigh, Time reporter, say that she would go down on him to thank him for all he did for, or to, women? – & ladies just shut up and sit down because, after all, they weren’t killed, were they? And, yes, she can and does make it worse when she says that the King of Pop didn’t do it by himself. She says the parents of the upturned, pre-pubescent hineys bear some responsibility for feeding his paedophilia. I mean it was like giving fire water and the car keys to an Injun, right?

The parents of a 10-year old who is run down by a drunk driver bear some responsibility for his death for a simple reason. They should have kept the little flirt chained to the basement wall until he was old enough to carry a gun.

Modern American Liberals – Chico O’Rourke has his dental visits Facebooked and then eats dirt to cleanse his spirit while Kamala Harris is reprising Evita and Bernie the Bolshie who honeymooned in Moscow in the ‘80s thinks Venezuela just needs a little tinkering, inter alia – have shot themselves in both feet, hacked off their nose, and now have their heads so far up their asses that they can hear those eyeballs click. Soon it will be “Neck deep in the Big Muddy”.

Now that the long-awaited Mueller Fart in Church has been sanitized, 2 things should be as clear as a Tanqueray martini straight up.

#1 – Forget about Trump colluding with the Russkies. Whatever collusion is, it ain’t a defined crime by Federal statutes.

#2 – Of course, the Reds tried to interfere in our election. They have been trying since 1932. GOOGLE Walter Duranty. If interfering in a foreign election is malum per se

what the Hell was the Obama White House doing taking sides in the last Israeli election? How about actively campaigning against BEXIT in England, another sovereign nation?

Alger Hiss was at Yalta with FDR. Laying aside the consequences of that summit but never forgetting that Uncle Joe had 2,000,000 men east of the Elbe, Hiss was a conscious Commie spy, bought and paid for just as much as the aforementioned Pulitzer Prize winning New York Times Communist columnist, Walter Duranty. Is it possible that there may have been collusion at the AM coffee/tea break or the PM cocktail hour? How about the upturned eyebrow after a double sneeze or whistling “The Gray Geese Are Flying Tonight”, a tune much beloved by spy craft practitioners of both sides in 1945?

Like the Covington Catholic MAGA hat wearing by presumptively racist students, and Catholic to boot, like the UVA fraternity rape case, like the Duke lacrosse incident, like the Tawana Brawley ignominious desecration, like the decades-long verbal diarrhea about GCGWCCCD*, like the Bermuda Triangle, like the fluoride conspiracy, like Atlantis, the Loch Ness Monster, like the Piltdown Man, all of which can be summed up by one of the most magnificent words in the English language and that word is bullshit.

Let me add Atlantis, an inside joke put out by Plato some 25 centuries ago, still holds the audience captive. Some of them never catch on.

Let’s talk about collusion.

The spineless, ink-stained toads, the coiled vipers, and the evil brujas who await the call from their non-deplorable, non-clinging leaders so they can unleash a torrent of half-truths that fits the du jour narrative of modern American Liberalism are despicable. Said narrative is well known to men of good will: America is evil and is filled with evil White people who are descended from slave owners and Injun killers who exploit 3^rd Worlders who want to live in peace and harmony with Gaia but profit-crazed 1%ers who want to drown polar bears and strangle baby Babars with plastic and weaken us with GMO food and drive us mad with militarism and think it is good that people in San Francisco drop their drawers and shit on the side walks and that while all speech is free some speech is freer than other speech but it will come right in the end as soon as we raise the minimum wage to $29.50 and the marginal tax rate to 105% which will have us farting through silk in no time because not only can the horizon be reached and jumped over because that’s where the unicorns graze and balloon juice and rainbow stew vines, organic of course, abound. And besides, women and minorities have suffered disproportionately, haven’t they?

C.S. Lewis called them “men without chests”. He died on November 22, 1963. A century from now we will still be reading him while the other guy will be but a footnote. 

The Mueller investigation is over. The premise for the investigation, the raison d’etre, that Trump won the 2016 election because the Russkies put the fix in, is gone with the morning dew, like this morning’s tingle up the leg.

What was different this time was that the intended lamb was not ready for the slaughter. This time the intended victim took a nolo me tangere cum impecunis attitude and bit back. Or bit first. And when he bit, he held on. 

At least 50 lives have been ruined. Even a bad lawyer will take you to the cleaners.

Let lex talionis prevail. Somebody’s cojones are headed to the Cuisinart. Start with Wide-Bottomed Hillary. She paid for the Steele dossier. Get the villains who lied, repeatedly. to the FISA Court to get secret wiretaps, all of which were based on lies and tautologies.

It turned out that the entire Bermuda Triangle was based on an article in the August, 1947 edition of Argosy, a pre-Playboy men’s magazine. [pre-Playboy means no nipples or yooha shots] 

It turns out that the entire Trump was a Russian agent – like Julie and Ethel on steroids – narrative was based on a tale made from whole cloth. Impound a Federal Grand Jury and get those sad sacked lying, covered in eel shit, asses under oath.

Hillary goes first. She paid for it.

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARIDT@BELLSOUTH.NET

PS - * GCGWCCCD – GlobalCoolingGlobalWarmingClimatChangeClimateDestruction 

Pop Quiz – What ended the last Ice Age? If you said Global Warming you win.

March 19, 2019 Who in the name of Harold Stassen, Norman Thomas, Henry Krajewski, Frank Clement, Vance Hartke, George McClellan, and Shirley Chisholm is Andrew Yang?

March 19, 2019

Who in the name of Harold Stassen, Norman Thomas, Henry Krajewski, Frank Clement, Vance Hartke, George McClellan, and Shirley Chisholm is Andrew Yang? And why is he running for President? On the other hand, if Miramar Mayor Wayne Messam can open an exploratory committee to se if he should run…. run, Yang, run! And trust me, if you think the louts and churls who make up this generation of Kennedys exuding White privilege, wait ‘til you see how the Yings, evil twins of the Yangs, and the Yellow version of Black sheep, the Yelps and their handy helots, the Yawns, exude their millennia-old version of High Yeller Han Privilege.

Buckle up, President Wilson, Senators Bilbo, Gore, Barkley. Sparkman, and Ervin. You think rubbing little nappy-headed Black boys or lawn jockeys for good luck was retroactively racist, wait ‘til Yang gets to the White House. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.

One of the problems in being opposed to genetically modified foods is, if you like broccoli, you can’t eat it. Of course, and particularly since the science is settled – just ask Ptolemy and Fred Hoyle, it also rules out carrots. Long before Mendel did his work in the abbey garden, carrots became carrot-like in color to curry, so to speak, political favor. Something to do with the House of Orange. Look it up.

And since our aversion to GMOs now extends to cats, and I do miss Sharpton, my last cat, gone 12 years. But there is a lesson of White privilege to be learned here. He was an all-Black cat who wore a bell round his neck. That’s how he got his name although we called him Al for short. It cost almost $1,000 for him to die. My father, the legendary Judge Smith, told me that you never saw a cat near a Chinese restaurant. They would wind up in the Oriental goulash. A lesson to be learned from our non-Occidental brethren is that multi-tasking applies to inter-species re-cycling, no? We are catching up though. When was the last time you saw a dead pigeon by a KFC store?

The problem is not with a limp pussy. It is what we do with Nobel Prize winner Norman Borlaug. His tinkering with the DNA, shorthand for genetic modification, of wheat and rice in India, Mexico, Pakistan, and 50 other copy-cat countries – his work was not patentable – saved either side of a million lives 50 years ago.

If we were to do away with GMO foods – potatoes, salmon, chocolate, tofu, corn, sorghum, ambrosia, milo, the list is endless – we would surely starve. And we would do it in less than 12 years so we would never find out how prescient that “wise Latina”, moon bat, wing-nut AOC, aka Chiquita, really is.  Folks in el barrio call her cabeza de mierda. Cabeza de mierda? Send a SASE.

Once we get rid of all the GMO foods let’s 86 all the vaccines. It’s time we toughen these kids up. Polio, pertussis, tetanus, hydrophobia, HPV, small pox, yellow fever is what gets us ready for tertiary syphilis. “That which does not destroy makes me stronger,” right?

I actually felt sorry for Chelsea Clinton yesterday.

Not because her father was famous for getting “a bit of the gobble” on the first floor while her bruja mother was on the second floor figuring out how to screw the country again while standing up but, because of her modern American Liberal background, she did not know how to react when the snot-nosed little shit daughter of the desert said she was to blame for 50 dead Muslims in Christ Church, New Zealand. “Christ Church”? As if killing them wasn’t bad enough? “Christ Church”? Is that an example of “Inshallah” or the more nuanced “Aradh Allah”? I don’t want to have someone still pissed off about Tours and Lepanto crashing a plane into my patio when I am BBQin’ ribs.

 [Am I the only one to notice that 50 dead Muslims in Christ Church brings outrage and garment rending while 30 dead Roman Catholics in Nigeria brings waves of ennui? Why is that? Plus, does anyone know the ethnic and religious background of the guy who shot up the Netherlands? Just asking. We can rule out Norwegian Lutheran, can’t we? And, for a tie-breaker, were the guys who blew up the Boston Marathon Lubavitchers or Mennonites? I forgot.]

Mrs. Mezvinsky spent her first 21 years living as a tenant in public housing. First in Little Rock where surely one of the highlights was the execution of Ricky Ray Rector despite having 30% of the Bill of Rights pissed on by the state where her father was once the Attorney General and then the Governor. She spent the last 8 years living in Public Housing in Washington, DC. Maybe it was because the lawn was mowed by guys wearing sun glasses and Uzis that she did not develop the attitude of other tenants of other DC public housing. If her name wasn’t Chelsea but rather LaKeisha she would have smacked that nasty bitch right in the mouth. Forget all the Kumbaya crap. The bitch gets her props or somebody gets smacked.

Her sin was simple.

She married a Jew.

You would think her father-in-law, who did a stretch inside, would have told her that most interpersonal relations come down to what Joe Stalin told the guys at Stalingrad,. “Not one step back”.

The ironies of Muslims being slaughtered in Christ Church and Christians being slaughtered in Nigeria, and guess which one goes down the memory hole first, continue to abound. And, perhaps, astonish.

I don’t know if she has converted and is a mikvah maven but  with her injected Semitism plus her criticism of another WOG member of Congress, an ideological slattern who called Trump a “motherfucker”, was enough to have 3^rd World Social Justice Warriors get in her face and speak truth to power. I wonder if any of those haggard hecates suddenly realized that, and in the name of Allah, their G spots had been cut out? Can’t really “give up the pink” if there is no pink, so to speak, to give up, is there?

And does anyone else remember when NYU played Manhattan in Madison Square Garden and the young Jaspers filled the temple with shouts of NYJew? Everything old is new again.

I did do some homework on Candidate Yang. And I just know that his parents, with at least 5 degrees between them, were not slipping Benjamins to grifters posing as admission counsellors.

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

PS – Just 2 things more:

I am a fan of Cardhu, of Abelour 15, and of Balvennie Doubles. Toss in some Tullamore Dew Special and I am in awe of Mother Nature and her bounteous gifts. What do you think happens when the grain is spread out on the floor and the starch becomes sugar and them becomes alcohol? What do you think happens when the initial product is put in a used white oak barrel that was once filled with some fine American bourbon? Its genes get jiggled – that’s GMO at the top of its game – to give us uisgabah, the breath of life. If any of you GMO jackasses want to see your whiskys disposed of in an environmentally sensitive manner, call me.

Samantha Bee, a modern American Liberal witch, says that Ivanka Trump, daughter of the President of the United States, in an edge of the envelope marked “free speech” pronouncement, is a “feckless cunt”. 

What does that make Chelsea?

March 12, 2019 It’s only March but the contest for TV ad of the year is over.

March 12, 2019

It’s only March but the contest for TV ad of the year is over. Move over, Geico! Expedia, the internet travel agency features a 4-year-old, blonde haired, blue eyed heart breaker, doubtless a child of White privilege, costumed as a tiger, traveling to see – guess what? – a tiger. She has a smile that not only says I didn’t do it but I couldn’t have done it. Plus, she reminds me of my Caroline and Julia, my two youngest granddaughters. Sweet Caroline, the middle child, will be here tonight while Baby Julia, the youngest is Lubbock, Texas bound to defend her state gymnastics championship for the third time. Julia is, Deo Gratias, an example of White Privilege. Her family is able to support her transcontinental avocation. The Fair Caitlin is pursuing her Muse at the Savannah College of Art and Design.

Back from voting in Fort Lauderdale, keeping my streak going at 55 years. Of course, I voted against the bond issues, one of which promised to rid the police station of black mold and the other which promised to lower the tides, permanently. I am not in favor of either black mold or perpetual Noah episodes but because both proposals were in continuous violation of both the Federal Truth in Lending Law and the Securities Act of 1934 I voted no. Also, I voted against the municipal housekeeping revision that addressed gender neutrality. It’s the one that sought to level the playing field by avoiding the dreaded chilling effect when you venture on to the slippery slope as you try to shun the paradox of being bound and determined not to be cliché-ridden or not. If the genders are neutral why do the ladies tee off closer to the pin and who do they get to go into the lifeboat first? Years ago, when I was playing catch with my daughter, I said, “You throw like a girl” She replied, in a most profound manner, “I am a girl.” It’s the least I could do. Since it goes without saying, which is why I say it, it is now 3 generations of strong, accomplished women who have given me sustenance.

As many as 80 babies have died in hospitals in Venezuela since the beginning of the month. The killer was neither dysentery nor was it pertussis or ague. It was a lack of electricity that killed these innocents. Margaret Sanger, Hitler’s favorite American, had no hand in it. Venezuela has more oil than Carter ever had little liver pills. It is not rocket science to get it to a power plant, cook it to make steam to turn the turbines to make electricity, and don’t kill the babies.

It proved to be a row to far too hoe, particularly if you have had 20 years of omadhauns telling you that not only is lunch free but as soon as we get to Utopia, the one just over the horizon where the unicorn ranches, the balloon juice cooperatives, and the organically sustainable rainbow stew mangrove are, you will be paid to eat it.  

Sitting quietly on the hillside, keeping score as they always do, are the laconic Gods of the Copybook Headings, convinced now more than ever, that not only was Darwin wrong, he was profoundly and irredeemably wrong. 

The NYSE - that’s the New York Stock Exchange for you Venezuela-loving jackasses - slapped the snot out of BA - that’s Boeing Aircraft, a DJIA stock and you’ll have to find out what DJIA means on your own – yesterday. The beauty of a market, any market, is that it is a jumble of lunacies that becomes the sanest, most rational thing in the world when it makes its continuously updated judgment on what something is worth. That price, what someone else is willing to pay at that specific time, is infallible. It’s not what something’s intrinsic, whatever that means, value is. It’s what the buyer with ready cash says it is worth,

Boeing is bid down because foreign airlines, whose maintenance standards do not require the gold standard attached to any airplane landing in this country, a FAA 8130 certificate of airworthiness, punched 2 737s into terra firma. Markets have a Caesar dixit finality to them. As long as it opens tomorrow course corrections, even 180s, are possible. That’s why modern American Liberals hate them

It is the only cauldron that modern American Liberals have not bought totally to heel. It is the same mechanism that allows Jeff Bezos, richer beyond the dreams of Croesus with unfettered avarice, to piss in Trump’s soup and on his leg. 

It is the great counterbalance to the excesses of our culture. We screw with it at our own peril.

Ted Deutsch, Lois Frankel, and Debbie Wasserman-Schultz are Democratic members of Congress from South Florida. Before they reached that exalted status, they were Jews. They still are Jews with no Damascene or Shylock moment for them. I don’t know how they square the circle of virulent, and how many other kinds are there, anti-Semitism, particularly when it is practiced by other Democratic members of Congress. The snot-nosed little viperous shit member from Minnesota says that Jews are descended from pigs and apes. She wants to drive Israelis into the sea while being careful not to kill the oranges or raze the laboratories. Oh yes, and she wants to kill all the Jews. Nancy Pelosi says that she is young and doesn’t know the power of language. And how old was Mozart and Keats when their words, still alive, still vibrant, moved men to move mountains? How old was Jesus when he began to walk the earth? Weren’t 2 out 3 people in the car that led to “Mississippi Burning” Jewish? Nancy Pelosi should be flogged while she still has some of her wits about her.

2 questions:

#1 – How big is that tent?

#2 – Is Trump behind this?

Oy

or speechless

“I wish rainwater was beer,” said Matthew, Thomas More’s man servant. If you think he didn’t survive pre-Elizabethan England, you’re wrong. Every Democratic candidate, no exceptions but maybe Schultz the coffee guy, is running on a free stuff campaign. When the plane lands – after the election - there will be free stuff for everybody, all the time, forever. When Fred Kite, noted British Labour leader, said of Socialism, “All 

them corn fields and ballet at night”, he set a standard, raised a banner, around which all Democratic candidates have rallied. [Speaking of Democratic candidates, will someone tell me of there is any difference between Kamala Harris and Stormy Daniels? Both profited handsomely from the promiscuous use of their “bearded clam”. The strategic use of their aptly named “vertical smile” advanced their careers and put a few hard-earned bucks in their loot bags. And the beauty, the genius, known to every courtesan and hooker in History, is that after they sell it, they get to keep it and sell it again. And again. Kamala/Stormy had a lot practice “polishing knobs”, if you know what I mean. I’ll bet the Chinks are rooting for her.]

  Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio Cortez – I like to call Chiquita, as in Chiquita Banana – is very close to being Homerically, Guinness Book dumb. That she was able to earn a degree from Boston University, heretofore an institution of some accomplishment if not distinction suggests that there were other forces afoot. And, to make it “curiouser”, her degree is in Economics. Maybe she used the Kamala Harris/Stormy Daniels path to success for extra credit. She is well on her way to becoming, to cite noted political sage Samantha Bee, a “feckless cunt”. It is a job for which she is well suited. It is the only job, other than the one she has, for which she is in any way suited. And, like money from home, she has got her main squeeze latched on to a voluminously lactating public teat. You go, Girl! “Like, you know what I’m sayin’, like whatever.” Thank God John Silber did not get to see this

Back when the New Yorker contained well written pieces about quotidian things, things like John McPhee writing about Interstate 80 or the Swiss Air Force or getting a ship, back before they went to work for the wing-nut, moon-bat Democrats who still mourn Julie and Ethel, they also had funny cartoons.

“This be the coon of Kuhn, Loeb” is one you won’t find in their anthology. The “witch doctor, rich doctor” has also fallen from favor and they probably won’t be praising Orwell too much either.

I see where the FBI has arrested a lot of Hollywood swells who tried to get their excessively White privileged kids into top level schools by using drugs, sex, and rock and roll. It that didn’t work there was always money. That brings us to a great New Yorker cartoon of the late ‘70s or early ‘80s. Picture 2 women in their 40s, sipping some white wine in an upper East Side bistro. One says to the other sans emotion, “Of course I would sleep with him if it got my son into Yale.”

Will there be frog march perp walk into central booking? Probably not. This becomes an empirical definition of some things constant to modern American Liberalism.

A – “eclectic indignation”

B – “Do not pee on my back and tell me it’s rain.”

C – “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome” 

These freaking hypocrites should be struck regularly, like gongs.

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

PS – Little Debbie, she of the Medusa hair and the Brown shirt thuggery and hob nail boot mentality – she did send the cops to my house because of something I wrote -  said today, in public, that Donald Trump was an anti-Semite. I knew his Jewish accountant, the one-legged Elaine Jacobson, in the ‘70s so he was able to overcome that then. Does Ilhan Omar go to the mikvah with you? Make sure she gets onto the pool first. It might defuse the bombs Did Trump move the US Embassy to Jerusalem because of his anti-Semitism? Should Samantha Bee put you on her “feckless” list? Tie breaker: was it Al Sharpton, and exactly where did he earn his Reverend degree, or Jesse Jackson who said Jews were “hook-nosed diamond merchants”? You’ve been hanging out with Nancy Pelosi and AOC too long. It’s rubbing off. You’re starting to get stupid

 

March 9, 2019 I saw Chris Matthews,

March 9, 2019

I saw Chris Matthews, he of the designer rubber pants because Trump’s merry pranks have caused him to suffer, enjoy – and they are the same to those afflicted by tertiary Trump derangement syndrome – never ending micturition leading to enuresis unseen by most urologists, last night on national TV. That he pissed in his pants was a given. He also spit out an imperial pint of sputum – non-TB-laden, I hope, hope – after he announced that Paul Manafort would not be bastinadoed, strapadoed and then given a one-way ticket to Papillon’s digs on Devil’s Island.

His projectile froth resembled a cow, a very big cow, pissing on a flat rock.

Mind you, this was because Manafort was not sentenced for a crime he was never accused of, for which he was never tried so he could not be found guilty. A “big fucking   deal”, to cite Curly Biden, for mad dog, blood thirsty, vengeance is mine, modern American Liberals who wallow in “Verdict first, then the trial”.

It is a well-known fact that Trump sent the homophobic Nigerians to Chicago to beat up the finocchio TV star because it is MAGA country. It is also a well-known fact that the rich catholic White kids from Covington, Kentucky tormented a true Redskin who was a medal laden, disabled veteran who served his country proudly despite generations of outrageous insults about his scalping techniques. The UVA fraternity rape episode, the Duke lacrosse incident, the Tawana Brawley desecration, all are well-known facts.

Now for something completely different.

Get to the last Blockbuster. 

Hack into Netflix.

“The Death of Stalin”

is a must see.

You’ve been advised.

Govern yourself accordingly

In a world where “Arbeit Mach Frei” and “Todt Juden” signs will soon appear on MSNBC, in a world where “yid”, “kike”, and “sheeny” will soon be in New York Times crossword puzzles – remember, they called A. Lincoln a “baboon” and were perfectly willing to allow slavery to continue in 1864, in a world where the NBA will soon replace the Star-Spangled Banner with a muzzein recording of the call to prayer, the world is turned upside down and Yeats was surely right.

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

March 9, 2019 Meir Kahane, America’s first public victim of radical Islamic terrorism

March 9, 2019

Meir Kahane, America’s first public victim of radical Islamic terrorism – and is there any other kind? Meir Kahane, not, decidedly not, one of Tom Wolfe’s fictional American Jews, Meir Kahane, is my posthumous candidate for mensch and righteous mensch at that, of the century past. Meir Kahane, the Jew who shamed Irish Catholics, Polish Catholics, Eye-Tie Catholics, mixed breed Catholics, rescue dog Catholics, retired Catholics, all Catholics, is doing a post-mortem hora in his grave.

A bit of History is in order.

I used to go a deli on 47^th street on the West side of 6^th Avenue so as to distinguish it from the 47^th street that Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton said was filled with “hook-nosed diamond merchants”. Thanks, guys.

 Any Manhattan émigré will tell you that there are no bad delis in NYC. Bad ones, like bad pizza places, are firebombed by disgruntled patrons. It is part of the urban legend of NYC that while the NYCFD will respond to a burning bad deli, the A-Team of First Responders is kept in reserve with the trainees and probies being the first ones on the truck and off the truck. Good delis are always trying to distinguish themselves from their neighbors. I remember signs reading “No celery in our egg salad”. There was a kosher deli on Greenwich Street, just South of the WTC, and another casualty of 9/11, where the manger would try to teach me the rules governing kassruth.

The West 47^th Street deli had a sign that read “We are the tough Jews”. 

The Cathedral of Saint John the Divine is a magnificent polyglot church in Morningside Heights of the upper West side of Manhattan. Every 20 years or so they raise money to try to finish it. [In 1950 my parents took me to Washington, DC. One of the stops was at the Shrine of the Immaculate Conception. It is a magnificent church – Scalia’s funeral Mass was said there – that my mother got money in her mite box for before World War 1. Thus, do Christian communities renew, extend, and connect themselves to their collective heritage.

One Sunday morning, several dozen Black men occupied the church during morning services. They were upset and outraged about slavery, Woodrow Wilson and his love for the Ku Klux Klan, low test scores, sickle cell anemia, bad housing, and chaos on Father’s Day. Most of all, they were upset because they wanted money which was not forthcoming from the White congregation. The celebrant had a special collection that morning and sent them on their way. 

When they left, they said that they were going to Saint Patrick’s Cathedral next Sunday. 

Next Sunday, the steps of Saint Patrick’s Cathedral were filled with members of the JDL – the Jewish Defense League. They were led by Meir Kahane. His reasoning was as simple as his Logic was impeccable. First, an Episcopalian Cathedral. Then, a Roman Catholic Cathedral. You didn’t have to have a yiddishe kup to know that next shabbos the brothers were going to go to the biggest, richest schul they could find. After all, Jews have the Benjamins, don’t they?

They carried bats and tire irons. 

The Roman Catholic sanctuary, with the Body of Christ in divine repository, where the miracle of Transubstantiation happens every day, was not violated.  

A te deum, a proper response, was raised by the faithful.

The next response should have been one of Roman Catholic shame and outrage. 

Where in the name of God and Michael Collins were the Irish-Catholics? Where in the name of God and Jan Sobieski were the Polish Catholics? Where in the name of God and the saviours of Lepanto were the Eye-Tie Catholics? Why did we need Jews to step up and “take one for the team”? 

We have become, as C.S. Lewis says, “Men without chests”. There is “a beast at the gates and there is no smile on that face”. We ignore it oat our own peril.

Comes now Congresswoman Ilhan Omar [D-MN] who begins her AM staff meetings with the Islamic chant of “Kill Israel”, “Death to the Jews”, and “What Holocaust?” She wants Medicaid to pay Planned Parenthood to perform FGM. That’s short hand for “female genital mutilation”. [As an aside, is her bearded clam intact? Does she still have her vertical yoo-ha? If skank ho wanabee Kathy Griffin can walk around with a Trump severed head and Samantha Bee can call Ivanka Trump a “feckless cunt”, I can ask if the Congresswoman has all her female plumbing, including the elusive G-spot. What is the word in Arabic, is there a word in Arabic, for female orgasm? Does the extended answer contain “fatwa and jihad”?]

Modern American Liberals, all of whom are card carrying, fire breathing Democrats, have a new litmus test for postulants. Not only must they detest Israel but they must despise Jews. Nancy Pelosi [D-CA] and if she has one more face lift will pee through her chin could not get her House majority to condemn anti-Semitism. It has to include hatreds not yet heard from, plus an oblique reference to Trump, the champion hater of all time. 

Speaker Pelosi said of  the soon to be mad bomber from MInnesota that “she has a different experience with words”. Was it Alice or the Red Queen who said “those words mean exactly what I want them to mean?”

How about “Mohammed was a goat humping pedophile”?

Try “Allah ain’t so fucking akbar” on for size. 

Does a bacon fat enema sound nice?

“Mecca delenda est” anyone?

Does she “get” them?

Shame on her, shame on them, those spineless, ballless bastards. Next year in Jerusalem? Maybe. Thank God modern American liberal Jews don’t run Israel. 

Send a SASE if you want to know how the Jews sunk the Titanic.

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET.

March 5, 2019 Bernie Sanders, the Brooklyn-born mad cap Bullshitting Bloviating Bolshie Bomb Thrower

March 5, 2019

Bernie Sanders, the Brooklyn-born mad cap Bullshitting Bloviating Bolshie Bomb Thrower running for President, gave a speech in Chicago yesterday. He said he led demonstrations there in 1963 to protest the racist and inhumane treatment of Negroes – they were not yet black – there.

It was so bad in Chicago that the only times that Black could be celebrated was at home games for da Bears and the inaptly named White Sox.

Who was the Mayor then? Give up? It wasn’t Lester Maddox.

Who was the Governor of Illinois? George Wallace? Nope

Any Senators named Bilbo? Ervin? Gore? Nope x three

Was Wilson still President?

Send a SASE and the answers will be posted.

Bernie from Brooklyn called for “change from the bottom up”.

I remember another dude from Chicago reminding us to “never bring a knife to a gun fight” and to “get in their faces”. I remember him telling us that he was going to shut Gitmo by Ash Wednesday, 2009, that he was going to “fundamentally transform the country”, that “if we liked our doctor we could keep our doctor”, that he would “cool the earth and calm the seas”, and that by crikey, when he drew a red line it was going to be a red line for the ages, that he wanted to change the national anthem from the Star Spangled Banner to Brenda Lee’s stirring rendition of “I’M Sorry, So Sorry”, that “ISIS was the JV”. Remember when he got his wife a $4,000 a week – repeat - $4,000 a week raise? That finally made her proud, I think.

Is it true that Bernie will announce his support of Congresswoman Chiquita Cortez’s New Green Deal at the former world HQ of Solyndra? Rumors are flying that he wants Ned Lud to be his Secretary of Commerce and Trofim Lysenko to be his science adviser. Maybe the friggin’ moron will bring back Ptolemaian astronomy. Maybe he’ll solve the coming deficit and debt crisis through a savvy combo of 50/50s, alchemy, and cake sales. A 105% tax rate can’t hurt, right?

Bulletin!

Stop the Presses!

Wide Bottomed Hillary ain’t running in 2020

Damnit

Maybe she could have screwed Bernie again. Debbie would have put her boot in again.

Does anyone remember George Allen? He was a Governor of Virginia who never practiced infanticide. He has nephews named Roman and Deacon who were successful employees of his father. He was a Republican Senator who like some 2 dozen contemporary Senators thinks he should be President. The Washington Post discovered that he used the word “macaca”, a mildly derisive way of describing a Red Dot Indian. They ran him out of public life.

I mention that because “Death to Israel” and “Kill the Jews” are now part and parcel of the mantra opening encounter sessions of the Green New Deal. They are filled with moronic chicks who are Democratic members of Congress. And yet there is no penalty for so saying. 

Remember when Jews were all thought to be “smart”? CPAs? Si, Physicians? Si. Defenders of their culture, their ethos, their faith when the SS hundts are all modern American Liberals? No.

It was a good thing for White Star governance that the Master of the RMS Titanic went down with his ship. That way his employers didn’t have to flog him through the fleet and then keelhaul him. Robert Runcie, COO of the Broward School System, was at the helm when the good ship Margery Stoneman Douglas hit the iceberg and went down with the loss of 17 lives. Laying aside who struck John and what role the Obama policies of endless last chances had in the murder – and should the Broward Prosecutor be measuring Cruz for a one-way trip to Old Sparky? You betcha! – Runcie was in charge. Fish stink from the head. That’s why Broward has a new Sheriff. Whether it was fair or not is for a different forum.

At yesterday’s not quite show trial – Runcie equals Bukharin, not! – there were some 4 dozen Black witnesses for Runcie’s defense. No brother or sister spoke against him. Even his wife spoke in favor of him. By the end of yesterday’s fussy precony I wanted to have his child, Sorry about those pain in the ass innocent bystanders getting shot.. 

The point is simple.

Smart Jews have been replaced by smart Blacks. What we have, we keep! Nolo me tangere cum impecunis! [That’s Latin] Get used to it. Next year in Watts or Sistrunk Boulevard.

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

February 17, 2019 Kevin G. Hall The Miami Herald KHALL@MCCLATCHYDC.COM RE: Violence/Page 1/Above the fold/Miami Herald

February 17, 2019

Kevin G. Hall

The Miami Herald

KHALL@MCCLATCHYDC.COM

RE: Violence/Page 1/Above the fold/Miami Herald

Mr. Hall,

I read your last paragraph first which caused a double blink. And. for the record, I enclose it in its entirety:

“I think somebody should have required those members

of Congress to go in a room – in a loc ked room, no press, 

nobody else – and look at the autopsy photographs of those

babies,” she said. “And then vote your conscience.”

The first blink was how in the name of Dorothy Day and Abraham and Isaac did the Miami Herald come to promote “Gosnell” and to publicize what the detritus of a 4^th trimester – 4^th trimester? You betcha! – intact dilation and curettage – sounds better than late term abortion, right? – looks like.

Since modern American Liberal knickers are being knotted over 35-year-old blackface yearbook photos – Imagine their brains being violently ejected through their eyes, ears, and nostrils if any of the pols had been wearing MAGA hats! – I hesitate, don’t worry but I will be able to overcome it, to mention that between 35% and 40% of the abortions performed on women since Roe V Wade have been done on Black women, How many Frederick Douglases, Step-n-Fetchits, Ben Carsons. and Colin Kaepernicks have gone down the drain in the Black abattoir? 

The second blink came when I realized that you were quoting Kamala Harris, noted Draconian prosecutor of minor pot offenses, who became a community activist whose specialty was doing the “Horizontal Tango” with older powerful men – Willie Brown, your office is calling – who rewarded her with several six figure contracts for legal services, and yes, you can ask if there is any difference between her and Stormy Daniels, and yes, the answer is no. Of course, Ms. Harris now swears allegiance and obeisance to Margaret Sanger, Hitler’s favorite American after a “close run thing” with Ambassador Joe Kennedy, and her theory of culling the herd of “undesirable deplorables”.

Shoot! I’m blinking again.

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

February 3, 2019 Sarah Blaskey – The Miami Herald sblaskey@miaimherald.com

February 3, 2019

Sarah Blaskey – 

The Miami Herald

sblaskey@miaimherald.com

RE: Congratulations on your Page 1 story – and above the fold to boot! – on the rise of the “alt-right” and how the “chilling effects” of too much time on the “slippery slope” of latent Islamophobia will surely lead us down the path of having MAGA hats welded on to our heads. As ably reported by you, chronicling the return of unbridled billingsgate in once irenic Hallandale, in today’s Miami Herald.

Ms. Blaskey,

I cite, in its entirety, your comment on Laura Loomer, the Svengali to Right – Wing puppet, Hallandale Councilwoman Anabelle Lima-Taub

“Proud of the label ‘Islamaphobe,’ Loomer clarified that she sees

her fear of Islam as rational. She calls Islam ‘the biggest threat to

Western Society.’ [In reality, most terrorist attacks are carried

 out by nationalist extremists.”

Pop Quiz

Did any of the murdering thugs who flew planes into

buildings on 9/11 shout “Luther Akbar”, suggesting that

 they were Norwegian terrorists?

You, in the same article, said that the Southern Poverty Law Center, a group known for dispensing more heat than light and a group that atoned for its most recent libel by paying its victim’s legal costs and several millions of dollars in compensatory damages, wrote “Muslims are depicted as irrational, intolerant, and their faith is frequently depicted as sanctioning pedophilia, coupled with intolerance for homosexuals and women.”

Would you think me an Islamaphobe if I were to point out that while Soldiers and Marines became used to IEDs in Afghanistan they had a much harder time understanding “Dancing Boys”? In addition to racing camels, they serve as sexual vehicles for tribal elders. Didn’t Iran hang a man convicted of being a homosexual last week? Is the practice of cliteroidectomies on 8 to 10-year-old girls practiced by Baptists or Buddhists?

What do the years 732, 1571, and 1683 have in common? If you said rape and pillage and the end to Western Civilization, as it was then known, by radical Islamic terrorists, you know your History. 

What in the name of the Great God Jehovah were the idyllic Muslims doing half way across Europe before they were stopped at Tours in 732?

In 1571, the Muslim Merry Pranksters were stopped at Lepanto. They had promised to stable their horses in the Sistine Chapel. Was that a misunderstanding?

If it were not for Jan Sobieski, King of Poland, the 17^th century version of radical Islamic terrorist would have conquered Vienna. Forgetting everything else but remembering that the Taliban, radical Islamic terrorists on steroids and writ large, outlawed whistling in Afghanistan when they had the whip hand. Let’s try to think about life with neither Bach nor Mozart.

Speaking of things cultural….14 centuries after the Prophet announced his good news where is the Muslim Dante? How about a DaVinci? Michelangelo? Shakespeare?

Handel? Madison? Dickens? Tolstoy? Kipling? Pound? Eliot? Kemmons Wilson? Walter Boeing? Bryant/Lombardi? Gates/Jobs?

You will not have to be in the shower to count Nobel Prize winners with identifiable Muslim names. About 1000 years ago, they turned inward. They ate their own seed corn. I don’t want to say there was incest but a lot of them can look through a key hole with both eyes.  

Do you know if the Hallandale Library has ever had an exhibit of Robert Mapplethorpe photos? How about a tableau featuring “Piss Christ”? A presentation of “Corpus Cristi”? Does it stock Dick Gregory’s excellent bio. If you want the title SASE.

I won’t ask about the Mohammed cartoons. That would be prima facie Islamophobia, right? 

Nat Hentoff, my pal, wrote a book titled “Free Speech For Me But Not For Thee”. See if you can get a copy. Of course, you know that “a little learning is a dangerous thing” so beware of “shallow drafts”.

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

February 2, 2019 Even though he cost me one of my better memes...

February 2, 2019

Even though he cost me one of my better memes, one that I have been using since Bush was President – “Josef Mengele, MD would win any Democratic primary he ran in in Broward County, Ground Zero for modern American Liberalism, because of his progressive views on abortion” and its follow up about 4^th & 5^th trimester infanticide – I don’t want Ralphie Northam, MD, the Democratic Governor of Virginia, to quit.

He can make the common weal better by being a positive negative example.

He had no problem calling his gubernatorial opponent a racist.

 He had no problem throwing flaming bags of cat shit at Brett Kavanaugh for something he mavbe, allegedly, perhaps, Quien sabe, did or didn’t do almost 4 decades ago.

Unlike Hugo Black or Robert Byrd – fellow Democrats and proud alumni of the Ku Klux Klan, Senators who basked and reveled in their sheeted past – Governor Little Ralph also managed to put his dick in the wringer because of a photo in his medical school yearbook – Did I just say medical school yearbook? Yes, I did. And truth really is stranger than fiction because he was training to become, and I am not making this up, a so help me God, pediatrician – showing him as Mr. Bojangles, a Black faced buffoon who doubled as Step-n-Fetchit in the Wednesday matinee or a proudly hooded Klansman like the ones who supported John Nance Garner, Albin Barkley, and John Sparkman. And, needless to say which is why it must be said, but if century old Confederate statues must be razed a la the Taliban blowing up Buddhas, why is racist Russell’s name still on the Senate building and why are nuclear powered and nuclear armed Naval vessels named after racist Vinson and bigot Stennis?

Could Little Ralphie, this goony nit-wit, make his week worse? Yes, yes said an incredulous public. How so, they wanted to know. By “revising and extending his remarks”, a favorite trick of Congress. It’s when you discover that while 2 + 2 really is 4, your focus group wants it to be either 5 or 6 and sometimes 7. So, while you spoke the truth about killing 2-year-old children, as being a codicil to the only Sacrament extant in the Church of Secular Humanism, Abortion, you said only if they lived in single parent houses and had scoliosis.

He said, and in public, that abortion was OK up until the time the baby had been held by 2 different sets of grandparents and his father tried to change his diaper for the second time and before he applied to pre-school or he stops believing in both the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny, whichever comes last.

Predictably, the POO-mALs, none of whom give’s a rat’s ass about killing viable human beings, except in the electric chair or when they are trying to invade our beloved country, focused on the racial aspect which is why all copies of Shakespeare’s Othello will be shot past Pluto the next time the next time a Pioneer rocket is saddled up. Infanticide, and its champion, J. Swift, are enjoying a comeback, thanks to Ralphie Boy. 

Tom Steyer and George Soros will pay $1,000,000 each – and try to get it before Congresswoman Chiquita Cortez’s 105% tax bracket kicks in – for a picture of Ralphie wearing his MAGA hat. And, yes, it is out there.

Curly Biden [named in honor of the smartest Stooge] and Alpha Gump, [the paradigmatic template of White Privilege and the only man I know to flunk out of 2 graduate schools in one semester], both ex-Veeps which meant that they had their lawn mowed by guys carrying Uzis are the only people to benefit from this mAL FUBAR. [For the unread, mAL FUBAR means “modern American Liberal Fucked Up Beyond Recognition] The reason is simple. As long as this Guinness Book loutish jester is stumbling around like a drunken lout in the public arena the gimlet eye of public opinion will not be on them. They can continue honing their “sex poodle” skills and trying to figure out how to get ivory with which to replace their aging uppers.

You are right if you noticed that I did not end the last sentence with a preposition, that being a “situation up with which I will not put.”

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET 

PS – Please, please will someone get a 12-gauge Remington and a 70-pound otter hound and put an end to that rat in Pennsylvania? Also, some good news from the medical front. I was recently diagnosed with spinal stenosis for which a minor te deum must be raised. That means I do not have one of those wasting neurological diseases, the ones identified by initials, for which I have been recently tested.

PPS – Howard Schultz, Gazillionaire founder of Starbuck’s, who came back from an 8 year sabbatical to shoot every 7^th overpaid executive to return his company to its former glory of $6 coffee cum language lessons, a child of the Brooklyn projects, and if a Broadway musical can be staged about an Argentinean hooker than one can be staged about how he got from Canarsie to Northern Michigan University to Milan to Seattle to maybe the White House using his own money, has suddenly become a pariah to the pajama people who name their kids Kumbaya and believe no tax is ever high enough. I will try to buy some coffee without phumfering and embarrassing my granddaughters. And if Michael Moore will think ill of me, well, I’ll just have to live with that cross. 

anuary 30, 2019 While I was momentarily enraptured by a picture of David “Little Boss” Hogg,

January 30, 2019

While I was momentarily enraptured by a picture of David “Little Boss” Hogg, the chinless little shit who was not shot at Margery Stoneman Douglas High School – 2 things: - #1 – Yes, I have been in a gunfight. June 3, 1993. Essex County Courthouse. One dead Newark Detective, one grievously wounded Sheriff’s Deputy whose life I saved and who, 2&1/2 years later, danced at my daughter’s wedding, and #2 – Not enough attention has been paid to Marjory Stoneman Douglas, noted Public Nuisance and doyenne/docent who successfully changed the name of the swamp between Fort Lauderdale and Naples to the Everglades. When she died, at the age of 108, I lobbied unsuccessfully to continue her legacy of giving to and helping to preserve the swamp creatures that she tended to in a most Assisi-like manner. I wanted her to be strapped to a motorized raft, perhaps festooned with a few cadaverous hindquarters of “Mad Cows” from England, to attract the man-threatened but still noble, Florida Panther [Panthers are cursory hunters and need moving targets] to give her a half-assed Viking funeral. Alas, it failed to gain a foothold. I am used to that since my plan to Cuisinart a dozen manatees a day to make sausage for the homeless has remained traction less – when I caught a glimpse of an article written be Alicia Colon. Its title was simple and direct.

Catholic Church Leaders Are a Bunch of Cowards.

The Catholic Bishop of Kentucky apologized yesterday for condemning the students of Covington Catholic for being intolerant turds and, in particular, intolerant White Catholic prep school, anti-Injun MAGA hat wearing – and you know what that means – turds. He said he was “pressured” into so doing. “Pressured”? By whom? Here is a man who can dispense 6 of the 7 Sacraments, a gift from God [Thou art Peter and upon this Rock I will build my Church, remember?]  shared by fewer than a thousand people and he felt “pressured”? I guess Henry the Second was right when he said “wearing purple does not make you a king”] 

The above is another example of why the epitaph of Vatican still rankles. Mater si, magistra no. But that’s not why I write.

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo, of Archbishop Malloy High School and Fordham University, like his father Mario before him is a public Roman Catholic, picking and choosing which doctrinal tenant to embrace or reject. He tumescently signed into law a bill that would have permitted babies to be aborted up to the end of their Baptismal receptions. [To show we are truly catholic, substitute briss for baptism]

I asked Governor Cuomo pere, after he gave his famous commencement address at Notre Dame University, the Catholic school, the one where he said that while he was opposed to abortion personally, he would permit, indeed encourage it, because it was the law of the land.

The Supreme Court ruled that fugitive slaves, Dred Scott for instance, must be returned to their owners. That made it the Law of the Land, didn’t it? I asked both father and son if they would have put his felonious Black ass on the midnight train to Georgia if he had been captured in a pre-Sanctuary City in New York. [As an uncomfortable aside, and as an inconvenient truth but it is empirically self-evident that the philosophical and judicial forebear of Sanctuary Cities, Calhoun’s Theory of Nullification, is the same one that clashed with reality at Fort Sumter. Modern American Liberals always find this hard to believe but there it is, like an unsinkable turd in Grammy’s pretty punch bowl.]

Neither answered.

          Governor Junior still hasn’t answered form when I asked him in 1999 if HUD, he was the Secretary, ever got any of the 200 air conditioners he “lent” to the Section 8 tenants in Pompano Beach in the famous heat wave of 1998. That was where, so help me God, Handsome Billy Clinton, King of the One-Eyed Trouser Snakes, and in between hummers from the zoftig intern perjuring himself, said that it was hot in August in Washington, DC because of Global Warming which was caused, and isn’t it obvious so why would you ask, by hot days. Quod erat demonstratum, but if it weren’t for tautologies moronic modern American Liberals, screaming mimi assholes all, would never have to use their brains. Big Bill made this announcement at the same time that Donna Shalala told us in 1998 that we would all be dead from AIDS in 10 years. That was in 1998. 21 years ago. At least she’s back in DC where we can best keep an eye on her.

And, also inconveniently, it was Global Warming that ended the last Ice Age and it was the last mini Ice Age that gave us the wood in the Mediterranean that Stradivarius used to make Bach sound almost divine. Which is why, when my dermatologist demanded that I wear a hat, I have one that says PROUD GLOBAL WARMER.

In the article, Sra Colon says that New York Cardinal Timothy Dolan says “it would make no sense to excommunicate him”. 

As a Roman Catholic I say, yes, it would

I learned the difference between de facto and de jure when Joe DiMaggio married Marilyn Monroe. A famous person, by reason of his notoriety, is de facto excommunicated, if he commits a public sin and causes the Church to suffer public scandal. A court need not be convened. 

There will be no trial, public or private, of Cuomo fils, the public sinner. The Church has no stomach for it.

When a Roman Catholic goes to the front of the church to receive what is still nostalgically called by several hundreds of millions of people Holy Communion, the priest says “Body of Christ”. At the very least, this public display should be denied to Cuomo until he makes a public confession.

People may have the “right” to unfettered entry to this country. People who exercise the “right” may have an additional right to premium Cable but the “right” to membership in the Catholic Church still requires an invitation and acceptance. Part of this process, for one not born into the Faith, requires adult acceptance of certain rituals and rules. If you find these unacceptable, don’t join. If you are a member by birth and you find something unacceptable, have the good grace to leave before you piss in the Church’s soup and then expect ecclesiastical approbation, sort of like a lay man’s nihil obstat plus imprimatur. 

Nobody is making you stay.

Pass this on to Pelosi, la bruja.

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

January 27, 2019 Tom Moran The Star Ledger RE: Squaring the circle of free speech, maybe rape, and making disparate facts fit the agreed upon narrative of White privilege in matters sexual and political in today’s unlinkable Star Ledger.

January 27, 2019

Tom Moran

The Star Ledger

 RE: Squaring the circle of free speech, maybe rape, and making disparate facts fit the agreed upon narrative of White privilege in matters sexual and political in today’s unlinkable Star Ledger.

Mr. Moran, 

Now that you have identified the reason – secret money, doubtless from hated special interests with those interests being defined as being inimical to the Kumbaya “Imagine” agenda so beloved by modern American Liberal opinion shpkers – why government, any government, at any level, works as well as a stopped watch does when it’s right twice a day, I can get on to the real reason I am writing.

It is not 4 months since an attractive college professor went on national TV and told us that she had been to a party 35 or 36 years ago in a house that she wasn’t sure where but it wasn’t Section 8 housing and maybe she drank some beer but so was everybody else and somebody tried to get a leg over on her kind of but she was sure he was White and went to all male Catholic prep school and that he had a frat boy name and that he was now a Judge and wanted to be a Justice on the Supreme Court and the vipers on the modern American Liberal press – both electronic and print – said she’s telling the truth and he’s lying so let’s insult his wife and scare his 2 pre-teen daughters because he has not bent his knee to the one sacrament of the Church of Secular Humanism with that being no opposition to 4^th trimester abortion, got it?

Men were told to “sit down and shut up” because she who must be believed has spoken and due process is not for lechers and men are all lying dogs, right? [I wonder if Meryl Streep still thinks “Harvey Weinstein is God” and if Roman Polanski inspired Bill Cosby?]

I’ll bet you’ve guessed that I am talking about Judge Kavanaugh becoming Justice Kavanaugh and why all women must be believed all the time and every time they say “He did it”, right?

Here comes shoe #1 followed closely by shoe #2 to which is tied a flaming bag of cat shit. 

Pray tell but why hasn’t True Blue modern American Liberal New Jersey believed like they believed the half a bubble off plumb, slightly wing nut moon bat who spoke so well about Brett Kavanaugh? Why aren’t people talking about Governor Murphy, and how he may make the electorate miss another Goldman, Sachs alumnus, Jon Corzine, and how he gives a perfect imitation of Jimmy Durante when, having been caught trying to steal an elephant, asks the investigating constable, “Elephant? What elephant?”

Katie Brennan says she was raped. Not groped 4 decades ago, before there was an Internet for which I can never thank former Vice President Alpha Gump enough, but raped with all that entails in the dawn of the “Me Too” age.

I could mention “eclectic indignation” but that might reveal my all-male Catholic prep school background so I won’t. All I can say is, “Don’t piss on my back and tell me it’s rain.”  

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

PS – Speaking of dark money, money given confidentially wrapped in the concupiscence that banal “special interests” are notorious for, Michael Gallagher, played by Paul Newman, tells a crusading U.S, Attorney that he gave the money confidentially because he wanted to keep his donation confidential. No crime there, right? If there is, wouldn’t Logic dictate that secret ballots get the chop?

I don’t know if you are old enough to remember when all the White Democrats who ran Mississippi sued every civil rights organization for their donor rolls. The purpose was to find out which groups of outsiders were funding these uppity Nigrahs. Juxtapositioned, and ain’t that a great verb, with the inconvenient truth that 4 Democratic Presidents and 14 Democratic Congresses had given short shrift to each and every Federal Anti-Lynching bill that was introduced, you can see why some donors gave confidentially because they wanted their contributions kept confidential.

Forget about “slippery slopes” and its evil twin, “chilling effects” but is your life or that of the common weal made better by knowing who gave to NARAL or MAGA?

Do you remember the little ditty that includes the lines “The wind and the rain may enter but the King may not unless invited? A man’s home is his castle.” Maybe that’s gone down the modern American Liberal memory hole too.

January 25, 2019 “Disparate” and “Pink” are 2 of my favorite words.

January 25, 2019

“Disparate” and “Pink” are 2 of my favorite words.

“Pink”, being one of my favorite colors, and yes, real men do wear pink, means I have many cute and cuddle pink things. I have, inter alia, a V-neck pink cashmere sweater, vintage N. Peal at the Burlington Arcade, over which adult women have savagely fought.

This week, New York Governor Andrew Cuomo, Archbishop Malloy High School and Fordham University, and truly his father’s son, ordered that all public buildings, including the World Trade Center, which I did not know was state property, to be swathed 

and swaddled in nocturnal pink. This was to show solidarity – and please forgive me oh great Polish Pope, now a Saint to many – with the recently passed universal New York state abortion law. That’s the one that allows abortion from before conception to either the briss or the baptism, whichever comes last. Plus, it need not be done by a physician, a nurse, an EMT, or a candy striper. It can be performed by a drum beating Indian stumble bum who did not go to Vietnam, a Black Israelite who doesn’t like finnochios, any community activist in training, or mad cap Congresschick Chiquita Cortez, named for a genocidal Abo killer, who couldn’t find her shapely ass using both her hands. At least Cuomo fils kept the Draconian laws regarding street corner pedicurists and floral arrangers in place. “Untimely ripping babies from their mothers’ wombs”, to cite Shakespeare, will soon be a TV reality show.

A society that sees no difference between shaping the pink to and ending the life of a bit of “straw into which God has breathed” is on the fast track, all high ball green lights, to Avernus. Solzhenitsyn said, after the Great Patriotic War but before he went into the Gulag for 10 years, that “all this happened when man turned away from God”.

Can this be made worse? Indeed, it can and it has.

Rich White people, 1%ers all, countenance the death of 2,000,000 sub-Saharan Black and Brown, and specifically non-White babies each and every year from malaria because they outlawed DDT. [Full disclosure: I saw an infant die of malaria in Mexico in 1963. Its stomach was so distended that it was buried without being able to distinguish its gender. And that was when DDT was legal.] It doesn’t happen in Malibu or Cambridge or where people who shop at Zabar’s live. Maybe Bernie the Bolshie and Senator SummerFallWinterWarren and Congresswoman Chiqjuita Cabeza de Caca are right. If we make the rich poor all those Brown Babies will grow up to be SJWs all. 

Speaking of genocide, as if air-borne diseases weren’t bad enough, since Roe v Wade freed us to commit state sanctioned murder, between 35% and 40% of all abortions in this country have been performed on Black women. Talk about Affirmative Action on steroids! Talk about the Rooney Rule ad absurdum, 1/16^th of the population has participated in 3/8ths to 2/5ths of all the abortions since 1973. And no photo ID was required. 

“Free at last?”

From “pink” to “disparate” and, yes, there is a connection.

When Justice Thurgood Marshall wrote an assenting opinion in Roe v Wade, he went outside the edges of the envelope marked judicial reasoning. He said that Blacks should favor unlimited abortion because, if they escaped the butcher’s scythe, they would have to face the rigors of Black life in America. Which means, ad absurdum, if Planned Parenthood had been around before Fort Sumter was bombed there would have been no need for the 13^th Amendment or my father’s father’s uncle, a member of the Irish Brigade, to have died at Gettysburg on July 2, 1863. And here’s the typical tragic Irish side, did I just repeat myself, he came here from Ballyglass to free the slaves.

“Shoulda, woulda, coulda”, as Mr. Moose, Esq. used to say, “It’s always the same on instant replay.”

Catholic schools

I did not send a check to Marist High School in Bayonne, New Jersey last Christmas. That breaks a streak begun in 1975. The reason was easy. They wished me “Happy Holidays” in their year end message. “Happy Holidays” and from a Catholic school! Not quite blasphemy but surely approaching the pale. 

I suggest, as a reasonable alternative, the following mendicants, for your consideration:

Holy Spirit Adoration Sisters – The Pink Nuns

2212 Green Street

Philadelphia, PA 19130

Whatever they do, they do as Catholics.

Which brings us to the sad, sorry spectacle of Notre Dame University covering the murals of Christopher Columbus. 

When red was introduced as a primary color in the early Renaissance, mitred heads were turned. 

Goya and Picasso shocked with pictures of men dying, not because of their deaths, but because, the action was frozen. Forever. When you opened your eyes, they were killed again. And again.

Catholics were deemed “deplorable” because they objected to “Piss Christ”.

We pooh-poohed the destruction of 2500 year old Buddhas by Taliban WOGs because Western Whites had to cut them some slack. Which is why Mohammed cartoons were verboten. 

DuChamp was criticized because his nudes weren’t nude enough.

And, if we cover Columbus murals becaust they upset American Abos, what should we do about Kateri Tekawitha? Even though she was a bona fide Native American and not an Iron Eyes Cody wanabee, she pissed off the Mohawks, the Iroquois, and even the doomed Mohican before the Catholic Church canonized her. Is there a ritual, hidden deep in the bowels of the Vatican, for uncanonizing a true “Redskin”?

The point is simple. The nexus of art and culture and popular passions is impossibly difficult at best. But when elders “forgo their private conscience for their public duties…they lead us by a short route to chaos.” 

Fling Kelly - bring back defenestration - as violently as possible from the Golden Dome? Si! Cover the Columbus muras?, No! 2 of the most famous South Bend coaches, Rockne & Parseghian, were not Roman Catholics. Maybe there is a Bush Baptist or a Satmar out there who can handle business. Find him. Or maybe her. The rule of de gustibus or ars gratia artis outranks attacking a 2-deep zone.

Before Cuomo fils used a tsunami of pink light to celebrate infanticide Cuomo pere gave a speech in South Bend in 1990 that caused the Trivium to tremble. It should have caused members of at least 3 departments to disembowel themselves in protest. The joint is committed to multi-culturalism and diversity, ain’t it?

Mario the Elder, the Hamlet of the Hudson, solemnly told the graduates that while he personally opposed abortion he had no choice but to uphold it because it was the law of the land. I didn’t ask him if the station master loading the high-ball express to Auschwitz was so bound. I did ask him if would have put Dred Scott’s felonious Black ass on the midnight train to Georgia if he had been caught in Sag Harbor. He never answered. Neither did his son. And Poppy Cuomo still has his degree. And they will cover up Columbus murals because Senator SummerFallWinterWarren has some upset lanschmen? 

“The center cannot hold”

Bedlam awaits

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET