March 28, 2019 Every time I hear the name Senator Richard Blumenthal [D-CT] I am sorry I don’t have 3 hands.

March 28, 2019

Every time I hear the name Senator Richard Blumenthal [D-CT] I am sorry I don’t have 3 hands.

The first is used to reach for my handy barf bag

The second is used to reach for my handy cudgel so I can smack the shit.

The third is used in case either of the first two fail to perform.

Before I get to this toad…. turd…. you know who I mean, I want to get to 3 real Marines.

#1 - Lt. William Sauer, USMC – He was a friend, a classmate, a fraternity brother, and a Marine aviator who flew combat in Vietnam as an F-4 Phantom pilot. He was killed in a training accident the same day he was accepted into astronaut training.

#2 – Lt. Brian Conlan, USMC – I drank quite a few beers with him in Cryan’s on South Orange Avenue in the Vailsburg section of Newark. That was the bar that had a hunchbacked dwarf standing on a upturned milk case cooking hamburgers. Honest. It was right next to St. Mary’s orphanage where Nick Werkman and I used to run 50/50s for its benefit, and ours. He was a big mean guy who wrestled at St. Benedict’s Prep before going to Seton Hall and then to Vietnam where he died “facing the front”.

#3 – I was honored to have breakfast last Advent with Captain Woody Woodbury, USMC, who was an aviator in 2 wars. I was a guest of Frank Loconto to whom I still owe a proper thank you for the honor and the privilege of meeting him. Before he became one of the funniest men in the world, he “saw the elephant” in the South Pacific and Korea. With wingmen named Ted Williams and John Glenn he, having “taken the sovereign’s coin”, went from propeller driven Corsairs to jet-powered Panthers. Like Henry the Fifth, he can strip his shirt and proudly show the scars he earned on his unique St. Crispin’s Day.

At the end of “The Bridges of Tok-Ri”, the Admiral, played superbly well by Frederic March, after being told that one of his aviators has been killed, asks, as only an old man who sends young men to the “undiscovered country”, can ask, “Where do we find such men?”

I can give you 3 such examples of “such men”.

Which leads me, in growing rage and increasing revulsion, to the perfidious toad, AKA, Senator Richard Blumenthal [D-CT]

He took a stint as a Marine reservist and, shall we say, puffed it up to him being on par with John Basilone, Chesty Puller, and, at the very least, Oliver North and Jim Webb. By so doing, he cheapens the legacy and the memory of Billy Sauer and Brian Conlan. It was as if he pissed on their graves. Captain Woodbury is still alive and quite capable of defending his own legacy, particularly from a “Stolen Valor” scoundrel such as Blumenthal. Do I have to add that he is the paradigmatic template of modern American Liberalism? I know I don’t but it’s the only toe tag that that coward will ever earn. 

Strong note to follow.

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

PS – I, as the founder, owner, and sole distributor of 3 of America’s most respected awards – Horse’s Ass of the Week, Pompous Fart of the Month, and the big one, the Granddaddy of them all, the gold standard of laurels, the Nobel of garlands,

SMARMY BASTARD OF THE YEAR

I have decided to bypass the constraints of the calendar and give the lying fraud the perpetual recognition he so ardently craves. Senator Richard Blumenthal [D-CT] is named

SMARMY BASTARD OF THE YEAR

[PERPETUAL AND FOREVER]

[FOR ALL ETERNITY]

[AND BEYOND]

And now, for something completely different

The New Republic – and is Walter Lippman still trying to do a 180 in his everyman crypt? – asked, doubtless rhetorically, “What should Stacey Abrams Do?”

Some of the answers are obvious.

#1 – Since she has more chins than a Chinese phone book and the back of her neck has more rolls than the Pride Bakery and Cushman’s had, combined, on a Sunday morning at dawn, she should head straight to the salad bar. Lay off the crème brulee IVs and the gelato enemas even if they are lo-fat.

#2 – Pay off her woefully past due student loans, her long delinquent credit card debts, and she should settle her IRS tax liens.

#3 – She should stop the bullshit about voter suppression. I had an uncle who lived in Jersey City who so loved to vote that he didn’t let death dissuade him from his sacred duty. He voted for 15 years after he died until he was struck permanently from the rolls by Judge Shaw. It must be noted that the Judge was appointed by President Eisenhower. My wife had family in Chicago. One of the great Cook County urban legends is that Mayor Daley almost despaired before he died because his creative count the votes, count the votes, count the votes in 1960 led this country straight to the Washington, DC Vietnam Wall.

#4 – She is not a “feckless cunt”. She would be worshipped as a Goddess in Haiti where rock soup and dirt salad are a good start to the traditional Voo-Doo Halloween dinner of fish heads and rice.

#5 - Her ass is so big that the Falcon tryouts feature walk-ons running around it.

#6 – On her last vacation, she killed 2 polar bears who were stalking her baby seals.

#7 – Did I mention that she owes everybody but the Bank of Vito and Nunzio? They have a different collection policy. It begins with a simple question: How well can you fly?

#8 – When she flies, she is classified as freight.

#9 – She has “eaten the Lord off the Cross.”

The article bemoans the fact that “Democrats have given Republicans free rein in many states to gerrymander and pass restrictive voting laws.” That this was given, voluntarily and eagerly, by Democrats is, as always, eclectically forgotten. How do you think Florida wound up with Alcee Hastings, a convicted felon and a derobed Federal Judge, in Congress? How about Corrine Brown, now in jail? The Florida Assembly had a member, Mandy Dawson, not to be found on the short list for Mensa, who used to fall asleep, snore, drool, and occasionally soil her knickers while the Assembly was in session. How were they elected?

Easy.

Her district, their districts, were drawn so that a composite candidate, a candidate made of equal parts of Step-N-Fetchit, Willie Horton, and Jussie Smollett would not only win, but win overwhelmingly.

Look it up.

Meanwhile, keep Rubenesque-assed Stacey out of IHOP. It still has the “All You Can Eat” pancake promo.

Is Jemima her favorite aunt?

Meanwhile, to pay for the ham hocks, greens, mac & cheese, and Moon Pies, she is writing a book. Probably the same team that helped House Speaker Jim Wright do his. It should be interesting, what with it being written without the vowels of “I”, “O”, or “U” in it.

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

PS – “steatyagonous”, anyone?