April 15, 2019 Nancy Ancrum – Editorial Page Editor The Miami Herald

April 15, 2019

Nancy Ancrum – Editorial Page Editor

The Miami Herald

RE: Poor Lenny One-Note or how tough must it be for a modern-day Sisyphus to push the same God Damn rock up the same God Damn hill and have it fall on him in the same God Damn way? Mr. Pitts has never met Mr. Brown put they both know Lucy pulls the same God Damn ball out at the last God Damn minute every God Damn time.

Ms. Ancrum,

I have been reading Leonard Pitts for so long I don’t have to read him to know what he is saying, has said, and/or will say on any subject, anytime,

His column yesterday, 4/14/19, the one with the catchy title “Kyle Korver is unafraid to confront the inherent privilege of a white man in America”, the one accompanied by a photograph of an extremely White basketball player wearing a Jazz Jersey – Did he get to the NBA on his own merits or was he Affirmative Actioned in as a sop to the non-Brother demographics of the Utah Jazz market? OK, OK that was deplorably mean-spirited and, in keeping with the season, I withdraw it, sort of – and with a column that proves yet again that if you only have one tool, in Lenny’s case, a well-used 9-pound hammer everything, and I mean everything, looks like a nail. In the warp & woof of the Pitts DNA that always and forever is race.

Props, a Black term I believe and, as a descendant of James Joyce, I relish it when words appear like Keats’s “new planet”, command me to mention his Pulitzer Prize. I cannot mention Pulitzer Prize winners without mentioning Walter Duranty and his employer, the New York Times. Let the record show that he won the Pulitzer Prize for Foreign Reporting while he was Moscow reporter for the NYT. [There is more than a soupcon of irony to mention that this was the first time that Russia colluded with an American to influence an election. That somewhere between 6,000,000 and 10,000,000 kulaks died – Stalin never colud match Hitler for keeping score – was no big deal, “small potatoes” indeed, when, as a result of the lobbying of Duranty and the NYT, we recognized the USSR. At this point I must mention that Duranty was a bought and paid for agent of the NKVD, the proud father of the KGB. 

Here comes the semi-submerged turd in the punch bowl.

I get to mention the simple fact that for 86 years the NYT has – A – refused to acknowledge this and – B- still proudly displays his laurel on its Wall of Honor. The other unasked, unanswered question is what would the Times have done if its next winner for Foreign Reporting, their resident correspondent in Berlin, had been similarly compromised by Hitler’s NKVD equivalent, a cheery group with the catchy name Gezstapo? 

How prescient of the Times!

 They were practicing, and let the judges note that they were doing it superbly well, one of the distinctly modern American Liberal traits; viz., eclectic indignation. The amazing thing is that they were doing it 4 years before the term was first coined. Even then they knew.

Being a modern American Liberal requires complete control of both the lumbar and cervical spine sections plus complete belief in what one of my favorite authors says, ad nauseam, “If it weren’t for tautologies these effin’ morons wouldn’t have to think at all.”

Having kept my promise to poleax and keelhaul Walter Duranty and his spineless toad employers, the New York Times, at least once a year, I can turn to the real reason for my note, that is to say that a White man, a devoted legatee of White Privilege, will reveal, at great personal risk, how White Privilege triumphed when Tiger Woods won the Masters yesterday.

It is said that Marilyn Monroe, when she came back from a hugely successful USO tour to Korea, told her husband, “Joe, you never heard such cheers.” He replied, “Yes, I have.”

I mention that as a perspective, a backdrop if you will, for the roar that tsunamied – tsunami as a verb? Why not? It would have worked for Joyce – out when Elrod drained his putt on 17. 

Let the record show that the Augusta National Club, the home of the Masters, is the Sistine Chapel of White Privilege. The pezzonovantes, good old boys all, who run it regularly make magnolias blossom weeks before Mother Nature would. They posted the member who hosted President Eisenhower for violating club rules by putting him in a fivesome. When bad weather threatened yesterday, they simply advanced everyone’s tee time by 2 hours and then told the networks.

The walk from the 17^th green to the 18^th tee and from the 18^th fairway to the 18^th green was surrounded by a roar that is usually only heard when the Gods enter the Pantheon. 

Unless a deplorably bitterly clinging MAGA-hatted, White trash Trump supporter hit him with a niblick, Tiger was going to be getting his 5^th Green jacket

Can we stipulate that the only thing Whiter than yesterday’s crowd was Obama’s first Cabinet? Can we further stipulate that there were no Section 8 tenants there as spectators?

Why then were proud practitioners of unbounded White privilege cheering their White as the driven snow arses off for a Black-Asian? I told a Jewish accountant once that one of the best ways for goyim have for hiding their wealth is to be a bit disheveled. And one of the best ways for privileged Whites to stay on the top rail is to both judiciously and exuberantly applaud the exploits of a Brother, particularly when he is of the non-threatening kind. [Vide Joe Lewis, Willie Mays, Wilt Chamberlain, Sidney Poitier, Edward Brooke, Andre Watts, Michael Jordan, Douglas Wilder, inter alia]

White people are so smart that they don’t build a wall to keep Black people out; they build a wall to keep Black people in. This rule applies in Augusta, a town close to the Bug Fug river and 12 miles past the middle of friggin’ nowhere, and not near the Rio Grande. 

The almost feral roar from the 99.4% White crowd was them, yes, cheering for him, but really cheering for themselves.

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

PS – What universal inferences can be drawn from the particular incident of a Black man flinging a White 3-year old from the 3^rd floor of a mall in Minnesota? Were Keith Ellison or Ilhan Omar involved? And how do you give a tax cut to someone with no taxable income? Will Senator Bernie the Bolshie or Senator SummerFallWinterWarren be the first to call out the inherent racism of tax-free municipal bonds? I almost felt sorry for Ossobucco Sambucca, the White Judas bull put up to test Tiger. Almost. Also, tell Lenny that classic White Privilege is like a constantly mutating virus. Just when you think you have identified it and catalogued it, poof, it changes. I hear they may even let Elrod become a member.