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April 21, 2019
Nancy Ancrum – Editorial Page Editor
The Miami Herald
RE: The target-rich environment of today’s Miami Herald
Ms. Ancrum,
Easter, a day not known for irony or sarcasm, intentional or otherwise, had several surprises so far. And they were all wrapped up in the Miami Herald! Don’t you love it when a plan comes together?
Page 1 – Sunpass SNAFU to FUBAR? – What did you expect? Modern American Liberals not believing that a government/private enterprise Rube Goldberg contrivance is genetically doomed should be the thrust of your story. It is a straight line either to or from Solyndra, a disaster for which no one, save the American taxpayer, paid any consequences.
STOP THE PRESSES!
It is just past 6:30 AM. 163 dead and counting in Sri Lanka, nee Ceylon. Based on available information, this maybe could possibly be, perhaps, I hope not, a hate crime. Is it a hate crime when Muslims kill Catholics? Is it a hate crime cubed when Muslims, not the peaceful majority, Heaven forfend, but the more feral misguided youths, do this on the greatest of all Christian holidays? Would I be branded with the Scarlet Letter “I”, as in Islamophobe, to even suggest that the spawn of a goat-humping pedophile did this, as they have been doing for 1287 years? Back to the regular news.
Page ! - “Putin sent his oligarchs to back-channel to Trump team”. A slight correction then a bitch slap from Clio. Oligarchs never carry the heavy bag. Their agents do. Thus, Nixon didn’t call Mao; he sent Kissinger through Pakistan to talk to Chou-en-Lai, remember? Did JFK call Khrushchev in 1962? No, he had RFK askl John Scali to contact the Russian Ambassador to see how far the envelope could be stretched.
Obama interfered in 2 foreign elections. #1 – The BREXIT vote in the UK and –2- the Israeli election in 2015. If it is illegal for foreigners to interfere in our elections, is it illegal for us to interfere in theirs? Our laws or theirs?
Except in the movies, “Absence of Malice” leaps to mind, prosecutors indict and try. They do not exonerate. That task falls to History and the electors.
Since it is Pulitzer Prize time, it is well to note that in the universe of Kremlin/White House collusion, it is impossible not to mention Walter Duranty. He was a Pulitzer Prize winning columnist for the New York Times whose articles directly influenced FDR to recognize the USSR, despite the fact that Uncle Joe, that’s Stalin, killed between 6,000,000 and 10,000,000 Kulaks, with Kulak being Cyrillic short hand for Jews. Sitting quietly in Berlin, doubtless reading Margaret Sanger, his favorite American, was Adolph Hitler. He noticed that nobody in the Western Democracies seemed to give a hoot about the death of a lot of Jews. In addition to being “stiff-necked”, they were “a far away people about whom we knew little.”
Silly me.
I almost forgot to mention that Duranty was a bought and paid for agent of the NKVD, the name that Putin’s KGB used to go by. 87 years after his perfidy the New York Times still stands by their man.
Would it be caddish or unsportsmanlike conduct if I were to mention that at Yalta, a son of extreme White Privilege and an amateur ornithologist, Alger Hiss, was the special advisor to FDR in his dealings with Stalin? He too was a bought and paid for NKVD agent, if we are to believe their personnel files and witnesses and evidence that Mueller would have killed for.
Speaking of Mueller, Page 6A reminds us that he “led Marines in combat”. Leading Marines in combat was a pejorative term when Colonel North was cross-examined by a half-assed modern American Liberal lawyer hired by House Dems. Judge Moore, the slightly bonkers Alabama Senate candidate also led men in combat. And let’s not forget what Charles Whitmore and Lee Harvey Oswald, both combat-ready Marines were able to do with some rifle instructions. Secretary Jay Forbes Kerry may have led men in combat but we’ll never know since he still hasn’t released his DD214, despite promising to do so in October, 2004.
Page 7A proclaims proudly that “Journalists on Russia got much of it right”. Thank God that they are not held to the same standards that ophthalmic surgeons are when installing scleral buckles or Naval Aviators are when making night landings on a Nimitz-class carrier. How long would a mohel or a diamond cutter on 47th Street last if they just “got much of it right”? My Uncle Bert worked on the Manhattan Project where getting “much of it right” was not a viable option.
Page 5C hectors us with the following headline:
“IF LAWMAKERS DON’T GIVE FORMER INMATES A SECOND CHANCE,
THEY’LL DEFY FLORIDIANS’ WILL.”
I love the “populi”, particularly when they are “voxing” but our elders and betters have been warning us of the perils of “thumbs up/thumbs down” government for 25 centuries. If we do away with the Electoral College what Logical reason is there for the Senate? Forget about Appellate Courts or even Jury Trials. Have trials, particularly the juicy, grisly ones in coliseums, be they in Rome or Los Angeles. Logic would dictate that, wouldn’t it?
The sound you hear is that of a big old turd trying to launch itself from the bottom of Grammy’s punch bowl. Speaking of “Floridians’ Will”, didn’t Florida vote against same-sex marriage a few years ago? In fact, nowhere and at no time has any electorate anywhere ever voted for it when it was on any ballot, any time. Doesn’t that expression of political will count even a little bit?
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
PS - Tell Lenny Pitts, another Pulitzer Prize Winner, that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, named after one of the great, pioneering Spanish diversity spreaders, to slightly paraphrase the great Dr. Johnson – Samuel, not Lyndon – that “A O-C is a boob and that’s an end to it”.
PS – Young Bobby O’Rourke, another candidate unsure of his DNA, because if he’s Beto I’m either Kwame of Mohandas, or both. One of my favorite lines from “My Favorite Year”, one of my favorite movies, is “What a putz!” Ocasio-Cortez and O’Rourke. Perfect together!
One last windmill. The Parade insert in today’s Herald launches a Jeremiad about the perils of plastic. 2 things:
#1 - I have been hoarding plastic straws for a year. If you need some, let me know.
#2 – I have been accumulating frequent user points at various hospitals, clinics, and medical testing facilities all over Broward County. It would be completely and totally inconceivable for modern medicine to exist without plastic. Could you at least wait until I have booked my nonrefundable, one-way ticket to the “undiscovered country” before you ban it? Viva the seals!
OK OK I lied. But this is the end. I mean just like Barack the Beneficent meant it when he said he was “drawing a line in the sand” and like when he told his pal Vlad, the Red Inmpaler, to “cool it” when he heard the Russkies were trying to fuck over the 2016 elections. The other Page 1 story, the one that tells of pizza parties for which team clears the most child abuse cases. God’s Holy Trousers, but that what your story says. I wonder why. Here’s a thought. In San Francisco, people, particularly those with a modicum of decorum who do not just take their pants down to shit in the streets, in Chicago which has killings that would shame Tombstone in ‘82 and Hue City in ‘68, in Baltimore, where police demand nuclear hand grenades after midnight, in NYC, where a really dumb broad drives out a guy who wanted to hire 25,000 people, and in Queens no less, is looked on as a Joan of Arc [save for the ending] or at least Maeve without the cattle, questions are raised. Why is all this evil shit happening. Weren’t we told, not that many years ago, that the country was going to be “fundamentally transformed”? [I’ll skip the part about the “earth cooling and the seas calming”]
How about one-party-rule?
I don’t want to say that they are inbred but when the first 14 people at this month’s Christening can look through a key hole with both eyes, attention must be paid.
We have had a Measles outbreak, How about a haemophilia epidemic?
The rest, today, is silence
Rasputin, call your office.
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