April 28, 2019 Carl Hiassen The Miami Herald

April 28, 2019

Carl Hiassen

The Miami Herald

RE: It’s my ass and I’ll get off it only if the “seas have calmed and the earth has cooled”. Some comments on your oh so achingly familiar Jeremiad about the need to return DJT to the “dreaded” private sector in today’s Miami Herald.

Mr. Hiassen, 

I treasure, absolutely treasure, you post card to me telling me how much you appreciate readers, particularly literate ones like me, who take the time to respond to your columns.

So there is no misunderstanding, I still know why Achilles stayed in his tent, why Oedipus went to Colonus, why the Constitution is a minor proof of God’s existence, of why 13 centuries after Islam appeared there still is no Muslim Dante, and the secret that Holden Caulfield left so artfully concealed in plain sight on page one.

Let’s jump to the end.

Continuing a streak that was begun in 1964 in Bayonne, New Jersey – Send a SASE for great election hacking stories including my uncle who lived on Randolph Avenue in Jersey City, right behind St. Patrick’s where Eamonn DeValera and my father were baptized – where I was told that if Goldwater had won, we would have 2,000,000 men in Vietnam and race riots in Newark, Detroit, and Watts.  Who the Hell could have voted for that? Can I get a mulligan on that vote?

Anyway, I will take your advice.

I will get “off my ass” and vote him in.

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

PS – Any chance we could get together and bullshit, with appropriate adult beverages at hand, about frozen lizards and Ezra Pound’s effect on 20^th Century literature? Putney will vouch for me.