Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Michael Putney The Miami Herald

October 31, 2012
Michael Putney
The Miami Herald

RE: As the legendary Big Mike from Bayonne still says, “What a country! That’s why never see anybody swimming to Cuba.” Some comments on your election column in today’s Miami Herald.

Mr. Putney,

Any column that begins with a back-handed swipe at the – Whodathunk – First Amendment and ends with a bow to Winston Churchill is worthy of a not quite resounding Huzzah. Relax. A muted Huzzah is better than any Harrumph.

[Is it possible that you, as a big time media mogul, could get me an absentee ballot from Miami/Dade so I could vote against Keon Hardeman, Esq.? I was once involved in a nasty dispute with Lawyer A. Lawyer B advised me against suing him. “Give him a beating in the parking lot” was his advice Lawyer Hardemon’s performance on your Sunday show is an example how sound the wisdom of Fat Jack was. And is. The only good thing to come out of it has now become an iron rule: In any contest between an ex-stewardess and a head up his ass lawyer always vote for the stewardess.]

As to the First Amendment and the Citizens United decision…

What is your problem with George Soros spending his own money to promote his political beliefs? It’s not like he is a cousin of the Koch Brothers.

Shouldn’t the SEIU – they’re the guys wearing the purple shirts that beat up old Black guys in wheelchairs, remember? – be able to take money from their members and promote candidates who advance their causes?

Are there any other parts of the First Amendment that don’t pass the Putney smell test?

Strict constructionists use the First Amendment when defending “Piss Christ” and “Corpus Cristi”. Not too many people wanted to see Nazis marching through Skokie shouting “Todt Juden” but the First Amendment begins with “Congress shall make no law…”

My plan to burn a Koran – Why are the Allahdamned things always “sacred”? - wrapped in an American flag with a bucket of pig pee nearby in case the fire spreads has failed to gain any media backing. When I go forward with it I expect the First Amendment to be my protector. I expect you to be in the front row, pike in hand, sounding like Voltaire.

Which leads me to another observation.

Where is the modern American Liberal uproar over the jailing of the film maker who portrayed Mohammed in a less than sterling manner? I guess he let his membership in the Hollywood Ten lapse. Can we assign him to a permanent Black List? I guess it depends on whose Gore is being oxed.

“When you’ve cut down every law to get the Devil where
would you hide when he turned round to face you? I’d give
the Devil the benefit of the law for my own safety’s sake.”

Which leads me to Churchill…

Full disclosure requires me to reveal that I am President of the local chapter of Churchill Forever. It is a situation up with which I will put.

Lady Astor, his American born piñata, observed that rumors of Churchill’s drinking in his underground HQ had reached Parliament.

“Mr. Churchill, it is said that the contents of the bottles of cognac and Champagne you have drunk would fill half these rooms.”

“So much work done; so much work to be done” was his wistful reply.

I’ll save the common denominator of the White House middle of the night gambol and the House of Commons urinal for a different time.






KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET




PS – It will be safe to wear pink tomorrow.

Monday, October 29, 2012

He Knew

I wish I had written this.
“How dreadful are the curses that Mohammedanism lays on its votaries! Besides the fanatical frenzy, which is as dangerous in a man as hydrophobia in a dog, there is this fearful fatalistic apathy. The effects are apparent in many countries. Improvident habits, slovenly systems of agriculture, sluggish methods of commerce, and insecurity of property exist wherever the followers of the Prophet rule or live. A degraded sensualism deprives this life of its grace and refinement; the next of its dignity and sanctity. The fact that in Mohammedan law every woman must belong to some man as his absolute property, either as a child, a wife, or a concubine, must delay the extinction of slavery until the faith of Islam has ceased to be a great power among men. Individual Moslems may show splendid qualities, but the influence of the religion paralyses the social development of those who follow it. No stronger retrograde force exists in the world. Far from being moribund Mohammedanism is a militant and proselytizing faith. It has spread throughout central Africa, raising fearless warriors at every step; and were it not that Christianity is sheltered in the strong arms of science, the science against which it had vainly struggled, the civilization of modern Europe might fall, as fell the civilization of ancient Rome.”
Winston Churchill did.
The River War, Page 248, London:.Langmans, Green & Co., 1899
So what’s new?

Friday, October 26, 2012

Dr. Brenda C. Snipes Broward County Supervisor of Elections

October 25, 2012
Dr. Brenda C. Snipes
Broward County Supervisor of Elections
115 S. Andrews Avenue #102
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301

RE: Hanging chads to hanging chumps – What the Hell is going on with 11/6/12?

My dear Professor,

Although it may just be an open casting call from the Theatre of the Absurd it is well to note that even hard core paranoiacs have real enemies.

Something called the Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe, and why do I just know that they are a non-profit polar bear loving gang that constantly caterwauls “Why can’t we all just get along”, is coming to this country to monitor our Presidential elections.

Pray tell me that Florida and you will not allow this.

I don’t know what Florida law says about this.
I don’t know what power you have should some of these folks show up at my polling place.
I do know what power I have.
Should some snooty snotty Frog approach me while I am voting I will pummel him about the head and shoulders to the point of senselessness. I will revive him so I can do it again.

If it weren’t for the American Army German would be the official language of France.

The thought that those “cheese eating surrender monkeys”, a people who think it is OK to torture geese to get better liverwurst, a culture that believes that Jerry Lewis is a genius, have the temerity to peek over my shoulder while I am marking my ballot fills me with rage. “Don’t tread on me.”

Govern yourself and your agency accordingly!





Kevin Smith

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

First Draft

October 23, 2012
Inaugural address – draft 1
“I do.

Thank you Mr. Chief Justice.

By the time I get back to the White House I expect to have several executive orders ready to sign.

#1 – Since my predecessor has picked and chosen which Federal laws to enforce I will direct the Justice Department – and doesn’t the place smell better knowing that Holder is gone? Yes, it does. – and the Solicitor General not, repeat, not to defend furbish louseworts or snail darters when the other side of the law suit involves the only truly endangered species in the country. Of course, that is man. “Man shall not only endure; he will prevail” will be the motto of this administration.

#2 – It shouldn’t take more than 3 sentences to approve the Keystone pipeline. Consider it done.

#3 – Willful disobedience of any part of Obamacare on religious grounds will be fully supported by this Government.

#4 – If you don’t like coal turn off your A/C/. The math is simple. It is simple enough even for a mush brained modern American Liberal to understand. 50%, one half if you will, of the electricity produced in this country comes from burning coal. 50% of that power produces A/C. I am told by confidential sources that hospitals, particularly those with a high percentage of patients eligible for review by the soon to be installed “Death Panels”, shall be required to turn off the A/C in the afternoon. This stops now.

#5 – Solar panels and windmills, having failed the common sense test of the marketplace, will now have to make it on their own. They will make it or not make it with no assistance form the perpetually lactating Federal mammary. Whatever happens, the IV of taxpayers’ money has ended.

#6 – We have Homeric amounts of natural gas. It is now at an amount that is essentially incalculable. The author of this speech tells me that when he was in the oil & gas business his main source of transport in and around Crossroads, NM in 1981 was a big old pickup powered by natural gas. It shall be the policy of this government to advance the cause of natural gas driven vehicles by giving preference to said vehicles when ordering same for use by the Federal government.

#7 – Thank you and God Bless America.”


Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Justice Elena Kagan The Supreme Court

October 22, 2012
Justice Elena Kagan
The Supreme Court
1 First Street, NE
Washington, DC 20543

RE: OY! Male, female. Smart, dumb. Semite, non-Semite, anti-Semite. BTB, are there any pro-Semites out there? Or, as, President Obama says, “You didn’t build that. Somebody else did.” Maybe you didn’t get your job the old fashioned way.

Madame Justice,

I had the pleasure of meeting Justice Fortas when he was in private practice. Yes, it’s true. His wife did smoke cigars. No, at no time during the conversation, even though I was the client, did I ask him about “Landslide Lyndon”.

“Not sure” if you would have gotten the job if you weren’t a woman?

Two things:

#1 – Being able to pee standing up is an overrated virtue. And, since more Americans die of prostate cancer than of breast cancer, there may be an additional benefit. Plus, in case you haven’t worked it out, if you didn’t get the job I wouldn’t be writing to you.

#2 – Institutions have, or should have, a collective memory. Try to find out how Justice Brennan, a Jersey guy, got his seat. All that mattered is that he got it. Was it he or was it Justice Douglas, a recess appointment, who gave us the great legal concept of “penumbras” and “emanations”?

My father’s father had two uncles who fought at Gettysburg. One of them is still there, “wrapped in his faded coat of blue”. He helped overturn the Dred Scott decision.

“The Supreme Court follows the election returns.”

Relax. You have tenure.





Kevin Smith

Friday, October 19, 2012

Michael Mayo The Sun Sentinel

October 18, 2012

Michael Mayo
The Sun Sentinel
500 Broward Boulevard
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394

RE: “Politicizing the [Florida] Supreme Court” – Some comments on – you guessed it –
Politicizing the [Florida] Supreme Court

Mr. Mayo,

In addition to thinking that Logic is a parabolic curve, that facts, particularly inconvenient ones, must never interfere with an argument, and that History began with Obama’s coronation – Would you brand me a racist if I were to say that the oceans have neither receded nor have they cooled? – modern American Liberals believe both sincerely and profoundly that they can eat their cake and have it too.

My father was a Judge. Perhaps that might explain my animus.

Although I am a Jersey guy through and through I was astonished by the shtick and shenanigans surrounding the Broward County judiciary. I don’t want to suggest that there is inbreeding but a majority of those Black-robed bounders can see through a keyhole with both eyes.

Judicial candidates – that has a bit of stench to it, yes? – will spend $300,000 to get a job that pays $140,000 a year. Duh?

Judges then strong arm lawyers appearing before them for campaign contributions when they run for reelection. What’s wrong with that sentence?

Was there ever a more politicized judicial hearing than the one involving Judge Bork? I mention it because NJ/NY guys know that payback is a bitch. If Judge Bork had become Justice Bork he would have voted against accepting the case from Florida in re the 2000 election. The prospect of an administration run by former VP Alpha Gump both boggles me and whelms the imagination.

Modern American Liberals speak in reverence about “power to the people” and “participatory democracy”. “Occupy Wall Street” was hailed by progressives. They loooove it when courts rule in favor of rent control and gun control, when they smile on Affirmative Action and eminent domain. Any time a Judge says yes to “diversity” or “fairness” they become tumescent.



Since the people of Florida already have the power to toss Judges off the bench why shouldn’t they exercise that power?

The American people did not agree with the Dred Scott decision. They reversed it on the field of battle.

The American people did not like Prohibition. They threw it out.

The Florida Supreme Court has given itself the power to limit what citizens can vote on. It doesn’t matter how many photo IDs you have. The Black-robed Bosses have said “NO”. Maybe the people want to say “YES”.

Isn’t it time for a chorus of “The People United Can Never Be Defeated”?






Kevin Smith

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Letter to the Editor The Sun Sentinel

October 14, 2012
Letter to the Editor
The Sun Sentinel
500 Broward Boulevard
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394

RE: Would being a thespian disqualify a Justice from keeping his seat. The perils of big boy Democracy as pointed out in your editorial today.

Sirs,

Having seen prospective Judges pander to special interest groups before the election, having seen sitting Judges strong arm lawyers appearing before them to finance their reelection even if there is no opposition - Might there be a cause and effect example here to explain the abysmal record of the Broward County Judiciary? – Why should politics in the retention vote of the 3 Supreme Court Justices so shock and amaze you?

The answer is to be found in the difference between a democracy and a republic. It is an absolutely straight line beginning in the agora, the forum, and running straight and true to the 1787 Constitutional Convention.

If the people in Florida get to vote who sits on the bench why can’t they vote on who gets thrown off the bench?

If the Judges chose to enter the political arena – raising money, seeking endorsements, proselytizing their beliefs – why should they be exempt from the political consequences? In this country politics “ain’t beanbag”. It’s a full contact sport. What’s the sense of having sharp elbows unless you use them?

If people can vote Judges in and vote Judgers out why can’t they vote on criminal cases? The next high profile child molestation can be held on the beach at Las Olas Boulevard. Thumbs up or thumbs down. Instant sentencing. Instant punishment. The never ending Summer of Recovery may yet see a revival of the mom and pop tumbrel industry.

Isn’t that the essence of democracy? The will of the people and all that jazz, right?

We entrust legislatures to protect our interests within specifically defined Constitutional guidelines. If we deny legislators the ability to confirm and retain Judges why should we be surprised when the people vote the way they see fit?

Incidentally, I intend to vote against the retention of the 3 Justices who are on the ballot for a reason other than ideology. Nota bene that ideology is part of the process. Not the only part, but a vital part.

Napoleon would pick 3 soldiers at random before a battle.

He would court martial them for cowardice. They would be found guilty and they would be executed.

He said “it encouraged the others”.

Nothing like vox populi being defined by someone carrying a 2 x 4.





KEVIN SMITH

Steven L. Goldstein The Sun Sentinel

October 14, 2012
Steven L. Goldstein
The Sun Sentinel
500 Broward Boulevard
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394

RE: “Shining City” and how Nixon lives on to torment us still. Some comments on how, just when you think things can’t get worse, they do, they do. Some comments on your typical column today on why the letters GOP should be struck from the alphabet starting in Broward County.

My dear Professor,

You call the wascally Wepublicans “conspirators”. You say it is “a strong term but accurate”.

Such is the number that I get some conspiracies confused.

Is it the one that says, despite being approved by 3/4rs of Congress, Bush invaded Iraq so that his family could get control of the gas pipe line through Kafiristan?

Is it the one that says the Tea Party was really born when they blew up the levees in New Orleans in 2005? Talk about putting minority voter suppression on the fast track!

Is it the one that says Ronald Reagan started the AIDS “epidemic” because he didn’t like Clifton Webb?

Is it the one that says Franklin Roosevelt, in thralldom to Great Britain, knew about Pearl Harbor on Labor Day, 1941 but did nothing to interfere with it?

Which conspiracy have you pledged your fealty to?

“Birthers”? Bad.

“Truthers”? Good.

Or is it the opposite.

I get confused. Enlighten me.

In re Citizens United I am searching in vain for a synonym for “stupid” or “Homerically dumb”. Failiong to find any IO must settle for the lowest common denominator: modern American Liberal is spot on.

“Corporations are people” is an legal concept that has been around since the second half of the 19th century. The Clayton and Sherman Anti-Trust acts had to go after someone, not something.

IN the 1930s the Roosevelt administration frequently used it to advance their political agenda by judicial means. When the Supreme Court turned away his power grab – Remember, Mussolini was the poster boy of progressive modern American Liberals in that “low, dishonest decade” – he tried to pack it.

Can I ask which other parts of the First Amendment do you want to “reform”>

Friday, October 12, 2012

Karen Yi The Sun Sentinel

October 11, 2012
Karen Yi
The Sun Sentinel
500 Broward Boulevard
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394

RE: “Race used in grading” – Some suggestions for additions to your Page 1 article on race based grading curves. The unasked question is why have we have waited so long to do this.

Ms. Yi,

Finally, one of my great ideas, perhaps a bit before its time, gains traction.

I have been advocating a 2 birds with one stone Geometry policy since the last century.

One of the great problems facing inner city youth is low self-esteem due to low grades due to low grades.

The hated, racist FCATs are now used to brand students, schools, neighborhoods, and cities with “D”, our new Scarlet Letter. It stands for “Dummy”. It also stands for “Dolt” and “Dunce”.

How simple it would be to reverse this trend!

If we were to change Pi from 3.1416 to 3.0 we would help our struggling youth in a variety of ways.

#1 - Geometry grades would improve.
#2 – FCAT scores would soar.
#3 – Potentially ferociously feral Black youth would be more inclined to be less feral because of higher grades.
#4 – A few decades out, when the bridges all start to fall down, we would have a built in, year round, Summer of Recovery. Provided, of course, that our Mandarin money lenders give their approval.

My plan to drop the past tense needs some work but I’m gaining on it.

Also, each basketball team must have a point guard who is a small, calorically challenged White guy who has at least 6 thumbs. No exceptions.

Since this is GLBT Appreciation Month perhaps we could find room for those who did not make the cut for the school production of “A Chorus Line” to make the football team? Tight end, wedge buster…the possibilities are endless.

I suppose that when the boobies are running the hatch stuff like this happens.

Madness.


Kevin Smith
Board Certified Life Coach

Stephen L. Goldstein The Sun Sentinel

October 12, 2012
Stephen L. Goldstein
The Sun Sentinel

RE: Like herpes, a gift that keeps on giving, your column about the perils of a representative Democracy [Sometimes the wrong guy wins] shows modern America Liberalism at its best. Did I say “best”? How about “worst”?

My dear Professor,

I almost got past your 3rd paragraph. Almost. That would have been a record.

One of the most endearing traits of a card carrying, fully committed modern American Liberal is the ability to never let facts interfere with an argument. Since you are the paradigmatic template of same it is always worthwhile to rake your offerings for gems

I looooove to tell mush brained, pointy headed the back story of the 2000 Supreme Court decision that kept the country safe from an administration run by V.P Alpha Gump. Buckle up. The truth hurts.

The vote to accept the case was 5 - 4.
The vote that made Bush President was 7 – 2.
It is empirically self-evident that 2 Justices switched their votes once the case was accepted and heard on its merits.
Look it up.

Here comes the fun part.

If Robert Bork had been confirmed as a Justice in 1987 the vote would have been 5 – 4 against accepting the case.

Payback’s a bitch, ain’t it?

I have some favors to ask

If I refuse to show a photo ID on Election Day can I count on your support? [You may not know it but a photo ID is required to get a Broward County library card. Strangely enough it is also required to give blood. Go figure.] As a non-felonious Caucasian it is the least I can do to support those who are - inter alia – felonious non-Caucasians.

My overseas confidential sources, sources that must remain, you should forgive the expression, confidential tell me that a bit more than what was reported at the American embassy in Libya happened.

The murdered American Ambassador was a homosexual.

He was apparently raped to death by the peace loving, live and let live, turbaned Islamic thugs. Since October is now known as GLBT month I think the assassination should be reclassified as a hate crime.

The Obama administration has always been keen on trying Muslim terrorists in this country. Round up a few of the more rabble rousing and try them here. Key West might be a good venue.

Great artists tend to repeat themselves.

Hitchcock always gave himself a bit part in his movies. How he got into “Lifeboat” is my favorite. Mel Brooks always had an obligatory Nazi scene.

In the end, modern American Liberals always put on their brown shirts, don their hob-nail boots, and goose step with a well-used whip in hand.

You say
“The votes are there to topple every Republican.”
The Sun Sentinel
Today
You

The prospects of Hell after life are grim enough.

You want to eliminate the death part by bringing us Hell on earth. How else could anyone describe a government run entirely by unbearable clones of Debbie Wasserman Schultz and the Broward County Board of Education?

If that were to be it would be time for the legendary Big Mike from Bayonne, noted sportsman, famed restaurateur, and now a shining public servant, a titan who introduced the phrase used in praise of this country – “That’s why you never see anybody swimming to Cuba” - to rethink it.




Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLOSUTH. NET

Monday, October 8, 2012

Snoop Dog and the new Notre Dame helmets. Yes Virginia, there is a connection.




October 7, 2012
Snoop Dog and the new Notre Dame helmets.
Yes Virginia, there is a connection.

Of course everyone likes, indeed loves, the 19th century caricature of a red faced, ebullient, maybe one gin punch over the line, calorically challenged Santa Claus.

The illustrator of same, Thomas Nast, was a phenomenally proficient and productive portraitist of politicians. They were Democrats and as such early modern American Liberals. Since he worked for people who bought ink by the tank car it was impossible to defend yourself, particularly if you lived down to his expectations. Thus, his portrait of Boss Tweed, a pasty faced, pot-bellied, dirty fingered slug still stands vividly in the nation’s memory 135 years after it was sketched.

He also hated Roman Catholics. The only group he despised more was the Irish émigrés. Thus, the combination of them, particularly in New York City, sent him and his barbed pen into over drive.

One of his more popular sketches was of a small man in a finochio-like green costume assuming a fighting pose. He would fit the general description of a leprechaun. He had distinctly simian qualities.

The term “Fighting Irish” was the truth.

The cartoon would never be found anywhere near a group of Irish Catholics. To show it would ring the bell for a never endingRound One.

It could be a sign of God’s whimsy that a group of French priests traveled half way across this fair land before they found a place to plant their flag and His cross. Naturally the French priests called the place Notre Dame. As the clock began to tick faster the terms “Fighting Irish” and Notre Dame became synonymous and interchangeable. The drunken, bellicose, ape-like, layabout leprechaun was able to lose its hateful origins and become an accepted, indeed loved, symbol of the school and its football team.

[It is fitting and proper to note that 2 of the most famous football coaches there were neither Irish nor Catholic.]

Time softens the edges of language and insult.




Thus, when Notre Dame introduced their new helmets, the bug eyed ape stuck on the side was not big deal.

When Hamlet told Ophelia to “Get thee to a nunnery” he meant a whorehouse.

Was it Alice or the Red Queen who said “Those words mean exactly what I want them to mean”?

A few days ago we saw a debate in which the empty chair would have scored higher than the empty suit.

A day later I was told the following by a mush brained, pointy headed talking nit-wit who was so far in the tank for B. Hussein Obama that he could have drained his sinuses and tried to train his ears to heel from the inside. Governor Romney had to disown his more radical supporters or the main stream media would be really, I mean really really mean to him.

A day later I read of the Snoop Doggy Dog, AKA Snoop Lion, list of reasons why he is voting for B. Hussein Obama. I quote directly from his notes. Let me add that Edmund Burke and James Madison are not sure whether they should turn over in their graves or dig them down as deep as they can go.

“Romney is a white niggah” – “Obama is a black niggah.”
Romney’s wife – “bitch” to the Dog Man – “got a dancing horse”. Caroline Kennedy, she of “Sweet Caroline” fame, had a horse named Macaroni. It is not known if her father’s taste for bearded clam al dente precluded it from a decent 2 step.
Obama’s wife “got a fat ass”.
Romney is a “ho”. He is also a Mormon but he “ain’t got no hoes”.
The Snoopster says “Bitch I will beat the shit out of you”. It is syntactically unclear whether he is referring to the candidate or his wife.
He says he will not vote for Romney is because “this motherfucka’s name is Mitt”. The much maligned Fairness Doctrine compels me to include his reason # 9 for voting for Obama – Am I the last one to remember when Senator Lard Kennedy introduced him as Bahama Osama bin Laden Yomama Obama Salama? I hope not. - as one that is only whispered about in modern American Liberal circles. It is, “He smokes Newports.”

I am not sure of the difference between “a white niggah” and “a black niggah”. I do agree with his statement that Michelle “has a fat ass”. In a few years she’ll be using industrial strength WD-40 to get into her Aunt Jemima costume. She’s about 2 sweet potato pies and a mac & cheese IV away from having a keister that’s an axe handle and a half wide. She’s got those great arms from smuggling all those 5 gallon cans of lard up the back stairs of the White House. It is an inner city substitute for KY Jelly and can be used to do the girls’ do.

I am not really sure what Snoop Lion Dog does for a living. He must do it very well. He has a face that could cure diarrhea. But if he is, to quote VP Curly Biden’s apt description of Black people hoping to enter public service, “clean, bright, and articulate” it may be time to lay in some adult sizes of Kool-Aid.

I’ll say this for him.

“He never lets you down.”



Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET



Sunday, October 7, 2012

Two Reasons to Celebrate October 7

October 7, 2012

There are 2 reasons to celebrate October 7th.
#1 – On October 7, 1571 a small group of good guys beat a much larger group of ferociously feral bad guys. To be more precise, the vastly outnumbered good guys gave the bad guys a Texas sized ass whipping that still resonates after all those years.

If they had not…

The world would not have seen or heard of – Let me list them – the Divine Comedy, Petrarch, St. Thomas Aquinas, St Francis of Assisi, Michelangelo, St. Peter’s Basilica, the Borgias, Titian, the Medicis, Raphael, chiaroscuro, Caravaggio – Dare I say the Renaissance? – Correggio, Vivaldi, nessum dorma, “thieving magpies”…

Columbus would have had to undiscover America.

Machiavelli would never have become an adjective.

David, the Pieta, the Last Supper, La Giaconda – all would have stayed locked up in the artists’ souls. Bernini would have stayed a stone mason, metal worker, and a house painter.

Prosciutto would have been banned.

Sausage? Fuhgedaboutit!

What happened on October 7, 1571 was simple.

A Muslim terrorist, rich beyond Croesus, assemble 1000 – repeat – 1000 war ships His goal, conquering and ruling Italy, was straightforward and announced.

Had he done so he would have kept the Islamic promise of “stabling their horses” in St. Peter’s Basilica.

HE WAS DEFEATED.
IT DIDN’T HAPPEN.

A world without the perpetual orgasmic qualities of Venice, a world without the endless debate between white sauce lovers and red sauce defenders, a world without sharp and clear Tuscan whites, a world with meatless melons, a world without Pavarotti, a world without Yogi Berra, a world where having a bottle of Riserva Ducale would be a flogging offense, a world without joy…The world would have been greatly lessened.

You may wish to check the years 732 and 1683. Both were years when turbaned Islamic killers tried to end Western Civilization. Might there be a pattern developing here?

Edmund Burke, as decidedly a non-Italian man as can be imagined, said “Alas, experience is the only school where most men learn”.

Will we ever learn?

#2 – It’s my birthday.




KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

Saturday, October 6, 2012

October 6, 2012

Christy Cabrera Chirinos & Steve Gorten
The Sun Sentinel
500 Broward Boulevard
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394

RE: Would I qualify for the next edition of “Profiles in Courage” if I were to object to your October 5, 2012 Page 1 article on the football team of Miramar High School wearing pink jerseys to show their steadfastness in the battle against breast cancer?

Ms. Chirinos & Mr. Gorten,

I have a legendary pink cashmere sweater that 3 generations of women have fought over. I had a pink tie that signaled the arrival of good times, particularly when I wore it with my world famous Lily Pulitzer pants. Pink, button down, monogrammed, pin point oxford shirts from Brooks Brothers were a staple of mine. I consider it, still, a point of ethnic honor to rescue smoked salmon from the clutches of Jewish delicatessens.

Pink, hot pink, dusty pink, salmon pink, rose pink…Crikey! I loooove pink!

For the entire month of October I will not wear a pink ribbon. I will not wear a pink shirt. If I had pink shoes I would not wear them. Ditto for pink knickers.

My reasons are simple and personal.

My wife, Amy, died on August 25, 2011 from uterine cancer.
What color is her ribbon?

My father died on Christmas Day, 1978 from pancreatic cancer.
What color is his ribbon?

More people did from prostate cancer than from breast cancer.
What color is their ribbon?

My Texas chainsaw skull scars from squamous cell carcinoma are always visible.
What color is that ribbon?

Lest you think I protest too much I point out that, despite being a devotee of corned beef, I never eat it in the month of March. My grandfather, Jack Smith, a veteran of the Ballyglass/Bayonne escape route, never saw corned beef until he got to this country. He recognized it as Bully Beef, a dish of Her Majesty’s Navy. Professional Irishmen, the ones who get teary eyed when the pipes skirl “Scotland the Brave”, gorge themselves on it on March 17th. It’s great in February and delicious in April.

The point of the above is to highlight the difference between feelings and ideas, between wish fulfillment and reasoning.

Let me add Barbie Doll Pink, the Energizer Bunny Pink, Pink Floyd, Pink Champagne, and the last half of the Pink Panther movies to my list of verboten Pink regardless of the month in which thehy appear

I must also add that Caroline Hanson, my 9 year old middle granddaughter, and one of my Texas ladies, raised $5,100.for St. Jude Children’s Hospital to honor her Grammy.

Which month has plaid as its color?




Kevin Smith

Letter to the Editor The Sun Sentinel

October 2, 2012
Letter to the Editor
The Sun Sentinel
500 Broward Boulevard
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394

RE: “Free Speech for….somebody…maybe” – Some comments on your “Let’s cut the baby in half” editorial about free speech in today’s lead editorial.

Sirs,

If, as you say, “a matter of respect for what others hold dear” trumps the 25 century old Greek maxim “Free men speak with free tongues” how did “Piss Christ” or “Corpus Cristi” get into the public arena? It is owed to the moral ledger to say that both were, and are, subsidized by American taxpayers.

[“Piss Christ” shows a crucifix suspended in a vat containing urine. “Corpus Cristi” says that Christ was crucified because of a lovers’ quarrel, the lovers being Jesus Christ and Judas Iscariot. Nothing controversial there, right?]

For that matter how did La Commedia – The Divine Comedy – come to be? How, pray tell, has it lasted 8 centuries

How many centuries would the cartoons showing Mohammed in a less than positive light – N.B. that I did not mention pedophilia or bestiality – have lasted?

If I were to criticize cliteroidectomies or to suggest that homosexuals should not be flogged would that make me into an insensitive Christian curmudgeon?

Why must we bear the burden of compromising with a culture that turned inward 1000 years ago?

This is a religion that was halfway across Europe less than a century after it was formed. This is a religion that promised to stable their horses in the Vatican. This is a religion that will not permit any place of worship other than their own in all the countries that they rule.

Why must we give up a right that is ours from birth, a “gift from beyond the stars”?

The encomium about not yelling “Fire” in a crowded theatre still applies. I promise to stay away from Mecca when I decide to attack sacred cows – N.B. again that I did not mention sacred pigs – that may offend some turbaned thugs.

Billingsgate is not just a destination. It is a precious gift that must be protected. The elections of 1800, 1828, 1864, and 1884 are examples of a free people expanding the envelope of free speech.

We are still standing.

Why have elbows unless they are sharp and in constant use?

We earned the right to use them as we see fit.

They haven’t.




Kevin Smith