Posts
April 28, 2009
Michael Mayo
The Sun-Sentinel
200 East Las Olas Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida 33316
RE: “Legislative Madness”- The title of your column and why, just maybe, we should love it.
Mr. Mayo,
It’s a given that “no man’s property is safe when the legislature is in session”.
It is serendipitous that today is the anniversary of the death of one of the heroes of modern American Liberals in the 1920s and 1930s. Mussolini was shot and strung up this day. And, yes, there is a connection.
“The Senate approved higher tuition at state universities.”
Is there something wrong with that? Would it not be Logical to expect that the costs of running a university be paid for by those who use and benefit from it?
If you are opposed to government raising prices to reflect rising costs what do you think of next week’s postal rate hike?
If you are opposed to passing on to citizens the increase in costs of running said entity then you must be opposed to any increases in the Federal Income Tax rate. Logically, and there’s that word again, you could have no other choice.
Which Tea Party did you attend?
You comment snarkily about the proposed Christ specialty license plate. You say that Christ’s head “drooped”. That was the purpose of the Romans. You didn’t die from the trauma of spikes being driven into your hands and feet. You died of suffocation.
It is probably more than you wanted to know about crucifixion but, a la Saul Alinsky, I never waste a good teaching moment.
#1 – Saint Paul, nee Saul, avoided crucifixion by saying “Sum Romanus”. Since he was citizen of Rome he took Plan B. He had his head cut off.
#2 – The question of how to deal with pirates was addressed by Julius Caesar. When he was a teenager he was captured and enslaved by pirates. He told them if they didn’t let him go he would escape, hunt them down, and crucify them. They didn’t; he did. We can still learn from the Romans.
Why not have plates with Buddha on them? Why not have plates with Osama bin Laden on them? Why not have plates with Rosie O’Donnell and Barney Frank on them? The additional revenue can be used to promote manatee suffrage.
“We might soon see higher rates on property insurance,
the last thing struggling homeowners need during a recession.”
Is that a closeted Supply-Sider I see struggling to be free? Listen closely. I’ll write slowly.
It’s wrong to raise tuition in a recession.
It’s wrong to raise insurance premiums in a recession.
Why is it right to raise taxes in a recession?
A legislature that resembles a casting call for “A Confederacy of Dunces” is a good thing for Florida. As long as they are doing shtick it is one day less they can be legislating. If you put them in charge of the beach they would import sand in a year. Regardless of what they did before they got to Tallahassee they become 10 feet tall and bulletproof about the time they are sworn in. Then they become so dumb they couldn’t find their asses using both hands.
Didn’t il Duce and his goomah get the trains to run on time? Why they wound up hanging upside down from a lamp post is still a mystery to fans of good government.
“How sad of all the things that men endure
how few laws or kings can cause or cure.”
Here’s a revenue enhancer. How about a tax on les merdes de Quebec? The vote would be unanimous.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Letters to the Editor, The Sun-Sentinel
April 27, 2009
Letters to the Editor
The Sun-Sentinel
200 East Las Olas Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida 33301
RE: “Fairness”, the taxing of sales made on the Internet, and the Law
Sirs,
“I won’t tax thee,
You don’t tax me.
Let’s tax that fellow behind the tree.”
You say that it is “unfair” not to allow Florida to tax sales made on the Internet. If it is “unfair” for Florida to miss out on the sales tax revenue from a product made in New Jersey why shouldn’t New Jersey be able to tax it also? Are you saying if I use the Internet to buy some Soprano memorabilia I should, in the interest of “fairness”, pay taxes to both states?
Why not let every state the package passes through tax it also?
Is that your idea of a stimulus program?
The question of states taxing transactions made in other states has been asked and answered by the Supreme Court of the United States. The case is Gibbons v Ogden. It may well be time for the Court to revisit the matter. Until it does it is the Law of the Land. No state may tax the transaction of any other state.
Protestations of “fairness”, “unfairness”, and revenue shortfalls notwithstanding, the last sentence is unambiguous. Your problem is with the Law. The solution is simple; Change the law. Until it is changed obey it.
Letters to the Editor
The Sun-Sentinel
200 East Las Olas Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida 33301
RE: “Fairness”, the taxing of sales made on the Internet, and the Law
Sirs,
“I won’t tax thee,
You don’t tax me.
Let’s tax that fellow behind the tree.”
You say that it is “unfair” not to allow Florida to tax sales made on the Internet. If it is “unfair” for Florida to miss out on the sales tax revenue from a product made in New Jersey why shouldn’t New Jersey be able to tax it also? Are you saying if I use the Internet to buy some Soprano memorabilia I should, in the interest of “fairness”, pay taxes to both states?
Why not let every state the package passes through tax it also?
Is that your idea of a stimulus program?
The question of states taxing transactions made in other states has been asked and answered by the Supreme Court of the United States. The case is Gibbons v Ogden. It may well be time for the Court to revisit the matter. Until it does it is the Law of the Land. No state may tax the transaction of any other state.
Protestations of “fairness”, “unfairness”, and revenue shortfalls notwithstanding, the last sentence is unambiguous. Your problem is with the Law. The solution is simple; Change the law. Until it is changed obey it.
Friday, April 24, 2009
The Editorial Board, The Miami Herald
April 22, 2009
The Editorial Board
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, Florida 33132-1693
RE: Congratulations!
Sirs,
So intent was I to spread my expanding carbon footprint all around South Florida on this anniversary of Earth Day – Remember that it started when Global Cooling was the threat du jour and the consensus of science was that it was a race between starving to death or freezing to death. Remember? – that I let my main business suffer.
I own an awards company. There are three laurels. Each one is non-gender specific. While I don’t have quotas I do have goals. In the category of HORSE’S ASS OFF THE WEEK I consider it a sign of maturity as a secular nation that African Americans can be included without having a scarlet R branded on your cheek. POMPOUS FART OF THE MONTH is an award of a different color. The one irreducible prerequisite is that the winner possesses Homeric amounts of non-malodorous fecal matter. If you don’t understand what that is send a SASE. SMARMY BASTARD OF THE YEAR, the mother of all awards, the Granddaddy of them All, is given out the old fashioned way. You have to earn it.
Right after dawn I drove to west Broward in hope of spotting a black bear. How lucky can we be to have an almost 200 pound omnivore gamboling through gated communities? I wanted to find out why Global Warming is bad for polar bears but good for Black Bears. The jury is still out on Lucky Pierre, my favorite Brown Bear. As to cute and cuddly Pandas and the painfully shy Sumatran Red Bears, I just don’t know. I know it will be the kiss of death for them if WAL*MART starts to auction them off.
I drove my gas guzzling SUV, unmindful of the delicate ecosystems I was disrupting, uncaring of the connected Rain Forest destruction, just another aging White man looking to exploit 3rd Worlders, all over the Everglades trying to bitch slap Mother Nature when I realized that duty was calling.
EARTH DAY MUST BE CELEBRATED!
I stopped at Publix on the way home. I try to go to as many different ones as I can. I go straight to the tremendous produce section where I seek out the manager. I try to stand as close to the sign promoting their “Organic Fruit and Vegetables”. I tell him that as a victim of life’s circumstances I need to save money so could you please tell me where the inorganic fruit and vegetables are. I tell them that I am particularly interested in
long strand polymers. I will buy all of them if they haven’t fully succumbed to the “noble rot”. Just another blank stare. I should be used to them by now.
When I got back I could not even raise a glass to toast her or it or whatever because of your lead editorial titled Drilling off Florida Coast Still a Bad Idea. You have a picture of what appears to be a drilling and a production rig superimposed on a map of the Gulf of Mexico. It stretches from western Florida to Texas and Mexico.
You talk about the danger to tourism and tourism. If you look at your map you can see the outline of Padre Island. The last time I was there tourism and fishing abounded. Why no concern for them? On the right hand side of your picture you have conveniently redacted Cuba. I mention that because drilling is supposed to begin off the coast of Cuba in June. Who will address the drilling risk there? The United States Navy?
You conclude by saying that there may not be any oil and gas there. Why drill, you ask. The answers should be obvious.
#1 – American oil companies want to spend their own money to find out. There is no greater stimulus program. The government now runs the automobile business. If you put the government in charge of the beach in 2 years they would be importing sand. President Obama said that the United States government now stands behind your GM warranty. Why is that a scary sentence? Would it be better if the Post Office ran all the drilling programs?
#2 – The major premise of your editorial, indeed the major premise of the absurd environmental movement, is that modern civilization is bad. Somehow we would be better off if we hand plowed the fields and gathered free range nuts, berries, and fruits. I read your editorial and ask if the Luddites have taken over. Bovine borborygomy and porcine eructations seem to be the new science. You, in typical modern American Liberal fashion, confuse feelings with ideas. There is a difference.
The consequences of your feelings are simple:
#1 – It’s OK to buy oil from a thug like Chavez. It’s OK to buy oil from a slave trading nation like Sudan. It’s OK to support the really nice guys who run Nigeria. It’s OK to acquiesce in the coming annihilation of Israel by buying oil from Iran. It’s OK to buy oil from our buddies in Russia. Concern for the rutting habits of ptarmigan and reindeer stop us from drilling in ANWR In fact, any suggestion of increasing domestic production is snarled at.
#2 – May I suggest, as I have been suggesting since 1997, that the Logical conclusion of your opposition to offshore drilling is simple? You must turn off your air conditioning this summer.
Your circulation will increase, your employees will rally around you, you will be in the forefront of the Back to Nature movement, you will be smiled on by the ghosts of charlatan Rachel Carson and Nazi Frogman Jacques Cousteau, and you will become one of the really, really good guys.
After that catches on your campaign against plastic, all and everything plastic, should be easy.
BONG!
That’s a bell that I have attached to one of my manatee pots. It tells me when I caught one. I get a Hell of a return for one head of lettuce that Publix was going to throw away.
Would you like some steaks?
You can use them to celebrate your award. I hereby name you
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
The Editorial Board
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, Florida 33132-1693
RE: Congratulations!
Sirs,
So intent was I to spread my expanding carbon footprint all around South Florida on this anniversary of Earth Day – Remember that it started when Global Cooling was the threat du jour and the consensus of science was that it was a race between starving to death or freezing to death. Remember? – that I let my main business suffer.
I own an awards company. There are three laurels. Each one is non-gender specific. While I don’t have quotas I do have goals. In the category of HORSE’S ASS OFF THE WEEK I consider it a sign of maturity as a secular nation that African Americans can be included without having a scarlet R branded on your cheek. POMPOUS FART OF THE MONTH is an award of a different color. The one irreducible prerequisite is that the winner possesses Homeric amounts of non-malodorous fecal matter. If you don’t understand what that is send a SASE. SMARMY BASTARD OF THE YEAR, the mother of all awards, the Granddaddy of them All, is given out the old fashioned way. You have to earn it.
Right after dawn I drove to west Broward in hope of spotting a black bear. How lucky can we be to have an almost 200 pound omnivore gamboling through gated communities? I wanted to find out why Global Warming is bad for polar bears but good for Black Bears. The jury is still out on Lucky Pierre, my favorite Brown Bear. As to cute and cuddly Pandas and the painfully shy Sumatran Red Bears, I just don’t know. I know it will be the kiss of death for them if WAL*MART starts to auction them off.
I drove my gas guzzling SUV, unmindful of the delicate ecosystems I was disrupting, uncaring of the connected Rain Forest destruction, just another aging White man looking to exploit 3rd Worlders, all over the Everglades trying to bitch slap Mother Nature when I realized that duty was calling.
EARTH DAY MUST BE CELEBRATED!
I stopped at Publix on the way home. I try to go to as many different ones as I can. I go straight to the tremendous produce section where I seek out the manager. I try to stand as close to the sign promoting their “Organic Fruit and Vegetables”. I tell him that as a victim of life’s circumstances I need to save money so could you please tell me where the inorganic fruit and vegetables are. I tell them that I am particularly interested in
long strand polymers. I will buy all of them if they haven’t fully succumbed to the “noble rot”. Just another blank stare. I should be used to them by now.
When I got back I could not even raise a glass to toast her or it or whatever because of your lead editorial titled Drilling off Florida Coast Still a Bad Idea. You have a picture of what appears to be a drilling and a production rig superimposed on a map of the Gulf of Mexico. It stretches from western Florida to Texas and Mexico.
You talk about the danger to tourism and tourism. If you look at your map you can see the outline of Padre Island. The last time I was there tourism and fishing abounded. Why no concern for them? On the right hand side of your picture you have conveniently redacted Cuba. I mention that because drilling is supposed to begin off the coast of Cuba in June. Who will address the drilling risk there? The United States Navy?
You conclude by saying that there may not be any oil and gas there. Why drill, you ask. The answers should be obvious.
#1 – American oil companies want to spend their own money to find out. There is no greater stimulus program. The government now runs the automobile business. If you put the government in charge of the beach in 2 years they would be importing sand. President Obama said that the United States government now stands behind your GM warranty. Why is that a scary sentence? Would it be better if the Post Office ran all the drilling programs?
#2 – The major premise of your editorial, indeed the major premise of the absurd environmental movement, is that modern civilization is bad. Somehow we would be better off if we hand plowed the fields and gathered free range nuts, berries, and fruits. I read your editorial and ask if the Luddites have taken over. Bovine borborygomy and porcine eructations seem to be the new science. You, in typical modern American Liberal fashion, confuse feelings with ideas. There is a difference.
The consequences of your feelings are simple:
#1 – It’s OK to buy oil from a thug like Chavez. It’s OK to buy oil from a slave trading nation like Sudan. It’s OK to support the really nice guys who run Nigeria. It’s OK to acquiesce in the coming annihilation of Israel by buying oil from Iran. It’s OK to buy oil from our buddies in Russia. Concern for the rutting habits of ptarmigan and reindeer stop us from drilling in ANWR In fact, any suggestion of increasing domestic production is snarled at.
#2 – May I suggest, as I have been suggesting since 1997, that the Logical conclusion of your opposition to offshore drilling is simple? You must turn off your air conditioning this summer.
Your circulation will increase, your employees will rally around you, you will be in the forefront of the Back to Nature movement, you will be smiled on by the ghosts of charlatan Rachel Carson and Nazi Frogman Jacques Cousteau, and you will become one of the really, really good guys.
After that catches on your campaign against plastic, all and everything plastic, should be easy.
BONG!
That’s a bell that I have attached to one of my manatee pots. It tells me when I caught one. I get a Hell of a return for one head of lettuce that Publix was going to throw away.
Would you like some steaks?
You can use them to celebrate your award. I hereby name you
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
David Fleshler, The Sun-Sentinel
April 22, 2009
David Fleshler
The Sun-Sentinel
200 East Las Olas Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida 33301
RE: Bears!
Mr. Fleshler,
Maybe you can clear a few things up for me.
Today is Earth Day. Your story tells me that black bears have been seen in Broward County. Can you tell me why polar bears are threatened by Global Warming while black bears seem to be thriving? Also, if Global Warming is melting the ice at the North Pole where is the water going? Have any of the harbors in the Northern Hemisphere reported a rise in the water level?
The consensus of science once said that tomatoes were poisonous. The consensus of science once said that the earth and the sun had a fundamentally different relationship than they enjoy today. Do you think we should encourage a new Ice Age as a way to overcome Global Warming?
May I suggest that as a way to ingratiate yourself with your bosses – you do work for a bankrupt company so any cost saving idea would be most welcome – you get them to turn off all air conditioners at the Sun-Sentinel building? I have been suggesting this to the Miami Herald since 1997. Alas, no luck yet. Maybe Tribune employees are more environmentally sensitive than McClatchy workers.
I intend to spend the rest of the day trying to increase the size of my carbon footprint.
David Fleshler
The Sun-Sentinel
200 East Las Olas Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida 33301
RE: Bears!
Mr. Fleshler,
Maybe you can clear a few things up for me.
Today is Earth Day. Your story tells me that black bears have been seen in Broward County. Can you tell me why polar bears are threatened by Global Warming while black bears seem to be thriving? Also, if Global Warming is melting the ice at the North Pole where is the water going? Have any of the harbors in the Northern Hemisphere reported a rise in the water level?
The consensus of science once said that tomatoes were poisonous. The consensus of science once said that the earth and the sun had a fundamentally different relationship than they enjoy today. Do you think we should encourage a new Ice Age as a way to overcome Global Warming?
May I suggest that as a way to ingratiate yourself with your bosses – you do work for a bankrupt company so any cost saving idea would be most welcome – you get them to turn off all air conditioners at the Sun-Sentinel building? I have been suggesting this to the Miami Herald since 1997. Alas, no luck yet. Maybe Tribune employees are more environmentally sensitive than McClatchy workers.
I intend to spend the rest of the day trying to increase the size of my carbon footprint.
Senator Dianne Feinstein
April 22, 2009
Senator Dianne Feinstein
750 B Street – Suite 1030
San Diego, CA 92101
RE: Just how big is your “little tin box”?
Senator Feinstein,
First, please tell me what in the name of the Census Bureau is your name? Blum is your husband’s name. Is Feinstein your maiden name? Many Obama supporters are lax when it comes to Federal income taxes. Assuming you file them what name do you use? What is the name on your California license?
Second, what is your educational background? I went through your website and could find no mention of any degree. It didn’t even mention if you went to, let alone were graduated from, high school. Maybe you’re like Lincoln and you read a lot. On the other hand, if I had to travel coast to coast with Barbara Boxer and Nancy Pelosi I would Gorilla Glue my face to a Linear B dictionary rather than talk to those oblatratrixes.
Third, I was born and raised in Bayonne, New Jersey. That’s at the good end of Hudson County. I learned early that in a Democratic bastion that no election was over until it was over. You counted the votes over and over and over until the good guys, your guys, won. You did that because then you got to fill up your “little tin box”. There was nothing wrong with laying aside a few dollars for your golden years. That’s why the first rule of the Democratic Party was to learn the difference between the buttered side of the toast from the dry. And that, dear lady, brings me to your husband.
Richard Blum – Is Mr. Feinstein his inside name? – is Chairman of the Board of CB Richard Ellis Group [CBRE], a commercial real estate company. The time line is still a bit foggy but I am sure a grand jury will be able to connect the dots. It seems that last October you pressured the FDIC to pick your husband’s company to become the liquidator of 25 billions -$25,000,000,000- of dollars of foreclosed properties. It may have been a good choice what with the reputation that your husband’s company has. You decided to leave nothing to chance.
Only the size [$25,000,000,000] would have drawn a raised eyebrow or two. Within the constantly shifting ethical boundaries of modern American Liberalism putting the fix in for your family is quite acceptable. 25 billions [$25,000,000,000] of dollars raised the bar but I am audacious enough to hope that the next group can top it.
But them you and your husband, having pushed the envelope of absurdity out as far as it could go, decided to abandon all the restraints that keep elected officials from being indicted. Around the same time you were strong arming the FDIC to take care of your husband he was buying 10,000,000 shares of his company. In 7 months he has a paper profit of about 60%. In the same time frame many American investors have suffered losses of 60%. Some much for the modern American Liberal cry of “We care for the little guy”. Since I don’t know if you went to any school I can’t assume that you have ever heard of, let alone know anything about, Dante. Suffice to say that he reserved a special place in Hell for hypocrites. He is preparing a special suite for you and Mr. Blum.
My aunt from Hester Street always said, “Don’t pee on my back and tell me it’s rain”.
You and your husband must be like cows peeing on a flat rock. You stood up and said that you, your husband, his company, and the FDIC knew a la Sergeant Schultz, nothing.
I was the CFO of a public company. As an officer and director I got to sign the 10Ks. Ask your husband, the soon to be well know goniff, what that means. It is inconceivable that the Chairman of the Board of a public company would not have known of a $25 billion [$25,000,000,000] dollar transaction that his company was about to enter into. When he is under oath and has to explain why all the laws governing gravity have been repealed he may look to the testimony of Clark Clifford. Clifford was the Chairman of the Board of the Bank of Commerce and Credit [BCC]. Having been a D.C. Democratic fixer for 5 decades it was a going away present from, in Hudson County parlance, the “Courthouse Gang”. Clifford wrote an entertaining autobiography about his time in Washington. In it he referred to Ronald Reagan as an “amiable dunce”. When he testified before Congress that even though he was Chairman of the Board he didn’t know that 40% of the stock was owned by one man, the look on his face was, as they say on the credit card commercial, priceless. It wasn’t amiable. It was like he just realized that he had put his underwear on upside down and backwards. Maybe it will work for your “Little Dickie”.
If you expect people to believe that you may wish to remember the Duke of Wellington when he said, “If you believe that you’ll believe anything”.
May I suggest a trip to Hudson County? You would be treated like royalty. People who perfected the art of stealing hot stoves always appreciate an artist.
I have to go now. My shirt is soaking wet.
Senator Dianne Feinstein
750 B Street – Suite 1030
San Diego, CA 92101
RE: Just how big is your “little tin box”?
Senator Feinstein,
First, please tell me what in the name of the Census Bureau is your name? Blum is your husband’s name. Is Feinstein your maiden name? Many Obama supporters are lax when it comes to Federal income taxes. Assuming you file them what name do you use? What is the name on your California license?
Second, what is your educational background? I went through your website and could find no mention of any degree. It didn’t even mention if you went to, let alone were graduated from, high school. Maybe you’re like Lincoln and you read a lot. On the other hand, if I had to travel coast to coast with Barbara Boxer and Nancy Pelosi I would Gorilla Glue my face to a Linear B dictionary rather than talk to those oblatratrixes.
Third, I was born and raised in Bayonne, New Jersey. That’s at the good end of Hudson County. I learned early that in a Democratic bastion that no election was over until it was over. You counted the votes over and over and over until the good guys, your guys, won. You did that because then you got to fill up your “little tin box”. There was nothing wrong with laying aside a few dollars for your golden years. That’s why the first rule of the Democratic Party was to learn the difference between the buttered side of the toast from the dry. And that, dear lady, brings me to your husband.
Richard Blum – Is Mr. Feinstein his inside name? – is Chairman of the Board of CB Richard Ellis Group [CBRE], a commercial real estate company. The time line is still a bit foggy but I am sure a grand jury will be able to connect the dots. It seems that last October you pressured the FDIC to pick your husband’s company to become the liquidator of 25 billions -$25,000,000,000- of dollars of foreclosed properties. It may have been a good choice what with the reputation that your husband’s company has. You decided to leave nothing to chance.
Only the size [$25,000,000,000] would have drawn a raised eyebrow or two. Within the constantly shifting ethical boundaries of modern American Liberalism putting the fix in for your family is quite acceptable. 25 billions [$25,000,000,000] of dollars raised the bar but I am audacious enough to hope that the next group can top it.
But them you and your husband, having pushed the envelope of absurdity out as far as it could go, decided to abandon all the restraints that keep elected officials from being indicted. Around the same time you were strong arming the FDIC to take care of your husband he was buying 10,000,000 shares of his company. In 7 months he has a paper profit of about 60%. In the same time frame many American investors have suffered losses of 60%. Some much for the modern American Liberal cry of “We care for the little guy”. Since I don’t know if you went to any school I can’t assume that you have ever heard of, let alone know anything about, Dante. Suffice to say that he reserved a special place in Hell for hypocrites. He is preparing a special suite for you and Mr. Blum.
My aunt from Hester Street always said, “Don’t pee on my back and tell me it’s rain”.
You and your husband must be like cows peeing on a flat rock. You stood up and said that you, your husband, his company, and the FDIC knew a la Sergeant Schultz, nothing.
I was the CFO of a public company. As an officer and director I got to sign the 10Ks. Ask your husband, the soon to be well know goniff, what that means. It is inconceivable that the Chairman of the Board of a public company would not have known of a $25 billion [$25,000,000,000] dollar transaction that his company was about to enter into. When he is under oath and has to explain why all the laws governing gravity have been repealed he may look to the testimony of Clark Clifford. Clifford was the Chairman of the Board of the Bank of Commerce and Credit [BCC]. Having been a D.C. Democratic fixer for 5 decades it was a going away present from, in Hudson County parlance, the “Courthouse Gang”. Clifford wrote an entertaining autobiography about his time in Washington. In it he referred to Ronald Reagan as an “amiable dunce”. When he testified before Congress that even though he was Chairman of the Board he didn’t know that 40% of the stock was owned by one man, the look on his face was, as they say on the credit card commercial, priceless. It wasn’t amiable. It was like he just realized that he had put his underwear on upside down and backwards. Maybe it will work for your “Little Dickie”.
If you expect people to believe that you may wish to remember the Duke of Wellington when he said, “If you believe that you’ll believe anything”.
May I suggest a trip to Hudson County? You would be treated like royalty. People who perfected the art of stealing hot stoves always appreciate an artist.
I have to go now. My shirt is soaking wet.
Holland Carter, The New York Times
April 21, 2009
Holland Carter
The New York Times
620 Eighth Avenue
New York, New York 10018
RE: The Pulitzer Prize
Mr. Carter,
Congratulations on joining the illustrious list of Pulitzer Prize winners!
I began writing to some individual winners in the late 1980s. My peak was in the late ‘90s when Sulzberger the Lesser assigned a Mr. William Borders to be his cut-out agent for my correspondence.
The reason was simple.
As long as the name Walter Duranty, the 1932 winner for Foreign Reporting –
he was stationed in Moscow - stays on the Times’s Wall of Honor it has the effect of lessening, of cheapening, every winner since him. It would have been bad enough if he had just been a “useful idiot”. That he was a bought and paid for agent of the KGB made it infinitely worse. Scratch infinitely. Insert Satanically.
He is a reason why Auden called the 1930s “a low dishonest decade”.
By his silence he and the Times acquiesced in the first European Holocaust of the 20th century. That the 6,000,000 murdered Kulaks were mostly Jews and no one cared must have inspired Hitler. When the New York Times found out they should have made a public confession, scourged themselves, and said a retroactive Kaddish for those lost souls.
Walter Duranty won his Pulitzer Prize in 1932 while he was the Moscow correspondent of the New York Times.
Frederick T. Birchall won his Pulitzer Prize in 1934 while he was the Berlin correspondent of the New York Times.
Can you imagine what the New York Times would have done if it turned out that Birchall was a bought and paid for agent of the Gestapo? A tribe of Niobes would have been insufficient for the Times to say how truly, profoundly sorry they were, are, and will be. It would have been the longest penance in history.
I write to you because this may be the last year the New York Times is a viable, ongoing business enterprise. By next year your Mexican master may start to turn your building into a homeless shelter with ex-Times employees getting preference. There may not be a building address to write to. Who knows of the Daily Mirror, the Herald Tribune, the Journal-American? A benefit of not getting TARP funds is that you won’t have Barney Frank sputtering over your advertising rates.
As an aside, and from someone who was CFO of a public company, PeeWee Sulzberger is the best single argument against inherited wealth. Too bad we can’t make Obama’s tax increases retroactive. He should be flogged. Repeatedly. And for no other reason than he gave moose a bad name.
I read last week in the Miami Herald that “art is anything you can get away with”.
The New York Times has gotten away with sins so foul it would take a Dante to give it the justice it deserves.
It is a shame it distracts from your accomplishment.
Holland Carter
The New York Times
620 Eighth Avenue
New York, New York 10018
RE: The Pulitzer Prize
Mr. Carter,
Congratulations on joining the illustrious list of Pulitzer Prize winners!
I began writing to some individual winners in the late 1980s. My peak was in the late ‘90s when Sulzberger the Lesser assigned a Mr. William Borders to be his cut-out agent for my correspondence.
The reason was simple.
As long as the name Walter Duranty, the 1932 winner for Foreign Reporting –
he was stationed in Moscow - stays on the Times’s Wall of Honor it has the effect of lessening, of cheapening, every winner since him. It would have been bad enough if he had just been a “useful idiot”. That he was a bought and paid for agent of the KGB made it infinitely worse. Scratch infinitely. Insert Satanically.
He is a reason why Auden called the 1930s “a low dishonest decade”.
By his silence he and the Times acquiesced in the first European Holocaust of the 20th century. That the 6,000,000 murdered Kulaks were mostly Jews and no one cared must have inspired Hitler. When the New York Times found out they should have made a public confession, scourged themselves, and said a retroactive Kaddish for those lost souls.
Walter Duranty won his Pulitzer Prize in 1932 while he was the Moscow correspondent of the New York Times.
Frederick T. Birchall won his Pulitzer Prize in 1934 while he was the Berlin correspondent of the New York Times.
Can you imagine what the New York Times would have done if it turned out that Birchall was a bought and paid for agent of the Gestapo? A tribe of Niobes would have been insufficient for the Times to say how truly, profoundly sorry they were, are, and will be. It would have been the longest penance in history.
I write to you because this may be the last year the New York Times is a viable, ongoing business enterprise. By next year your Mexican master may start to turn your building into a homeless shelter with ex-Times employees getting preference. There may not be a building address to write to. Who knows of the Daily Mirror, the Herald Tribune, the Journal-American? A benefit of not getting TARP funds is that you won’t have Barney Frank sputtering over your advertising rates.
As an aside, and from someone who was CFO of a public company, PeeWee Sulzberger is the best single argument against inherited wealth. Too bad we can’t make Obama’s tax increases retroactive. He should be flogged. Repeatedly. And for no other reason than he gave moose a bad name.
I read last week in the Miami Herald that “art is anything you can get away with”.
The New York Times has gotten away with sins so foul it would take a Dante to give it the justice it deserves.
It is a shame it distracts from your accomplishment.
Mayor Richard “Little Dickie” Daley
April 20, 2009
Mayor Richard “Little Dickie” Daley
121 North LaSalle Street
Chicago, Illinois 60602-1284
RE: Brush up your Shakespeare! A good name for a song but as public policy goes………. Oy! as one of Shakespeare” more charming characters, a specialist in small non-collateralized loans, by the name of Shylock would say.
My dear Mayor Dickhead,
“But man, proud man, drest in a little brief authority, most ignorant
of what he’s most assured, his glassy essence, like an angry ape,
plays such fantastic tricks before high heaven as make the angels weep.”
Your proposal that everybody in Chicago should talk like Shakespeare is beyond parody. Would it be too audacious of me to hope that it was said in jest? Of course.
“Neither wit, nor words, nor worth, nor utterance,
Nor the power of speech to stir men’s blood…”
Rather than “embarrass the servants”, the wannabe felons who do your bidding, with an impossible how work assignment, why not borrow from local talent?
Mr. Hinnisy, the noted Chicago saloon keeper and political sage, said of local politicians, “they seen their opportunities and they took’em”. The choice of roads, either taken or not, in Chicago leads either to prison or to the White House.
“We are all men, in our own natures and capable
of our flesh; men are not angels.”
May I suggest a different model, a template less onerous for the average Cook County civil servant to emulate, than Shakespeare? May I suggest your father?
Your father, a man to step aside for, a man who well and truly earned the sobriquet “Big Dick”, had some memorable sayings, remember?
He was like Jesus in 1960. He raised enough people from the dead to swing the election to John Kennedy. Did he say “Get up and vote”? He didn’t have to. It is a well known fact that it takes embalming fluid plus 7 years into the dirt nap before they stop voting Row A.
In 1968, while his police were outside the Democratic Convention showing those long haired maggots what Chicago thought of their rights by hitting them with their rights, their lefts, their boots, their batons, you father was inside screaming at Senator Ribicoff, “Fuck you, fuck you”! It’s been more than 40 years so I am not sure whether it was he or some faithful city employed toad who yelled “Fuck You, you Jew bastard”.
Not quite like Marc Anthony or Henry the Fifth but his words did have an impact.
In a lighter note, the memory of him leaning over the lectern after Mike Royko asked him some questions on how the city decided who got its insurance business – Royko suggesting that a soupcon of nepotism may have been involved – and saying to him, “You can kiss my ass” would still make the highlight film for politicians practicing reasoned discourse
“For nothing can seem foul to those that win.”
A key to success in Chicago and in Cook County, is
one that you may wish to keep to yourself.
“The jury…may in the sworn twelve have a thief or two
Guiltier than him they try.”
“You rocks, you stones, you senseless things.
Know you not Daley?”
“The rest is silence.”
Mayor Richard “Little Dickie” Daley
121 North LaSalle Street
Chicago, Illinois 60602-1284
RE: Brush up your Shakespeare! A good name for a song but as public policy goes………. Oy! as one of Shakespeare” more charming characters, a specialist in small non-collateralized loans, by the name of Shylock would say.
My dear Mayor Dickhead,
“But man, proud man, drest in a little brief authority, most ignorant
of what he’s most assured, his glassy essence, like an angry ape,
plays such fantastic tricks before high heaven as make the angels weep.”
Your proposal that everybody in Chicago should talk like Shakespeare is beyond parody. Would it be too audacious of me to hope that it was said in jest? Of course.
“Neither wit, nor words, nor worth, nor utterance,
Nor the power of speech to stir men’s blood…”
Rather than “embarrass the servants”, the wannabe felons who do your bidding, with an impossible how work assignment, why not borrow from local talent?
Mr. Hinnisy, the noted Chicago saloon keeper and political sage, said of local politicians, “they seen their opportunities and they took’em”. The choice of roads, either taken or not, in Chicago leads either to prison or to the White House.
“We are all men, in our own natures and capable
of our flesh; men are not angels.”
May I suggest a different model, a template less onerous for the average Cook County civil servant to emulate, than Shakespeare? May I suggest your father?
Your father, a man to step aside for, a man who well and truly earned the sobriquet “Big Dick”, had some memorable sayings, remember?
He was like Jesus in 1960. He raised enough people from the dead to swing the election to John Kennedy. Did he say “Get up and vote”? He didn’t have to. It is a well known fact that it takes embalming fluid plus 7 years into the dirt nap before they stop voting Row A.
In 1968, while his police were outside the Democratic Convention showing those long haired maggots what Chicago thought of their rights by hitting them with their rights, their lefts, their boots, their batons, you father was inside screaming at Senator Ribicoff, “Fuck you, fuck you”! It’s been more than 40 years so I am not sure whether it was he or some faithful city employed toad who yelled “Fuck You, you Jew bastard”.
Not quite like Marc Anthony or Henry the Fifth but his words did have an impact.
In a lighter note, the memory of him leaning over the lectern after Mike Royko asked him some questions on how the city decided who got its insurance business – Royko suggesting that a soupcon of nepotism may have been involved – and saying to him, “You can kiss my ass” would still make the highlight film for politicians practicing reasoned discourse
“For nothing can seem foul to those that win.”
A key to success in Chicago and in Cook County, is
one that you may wish to keep to yourself.
“The jury…may in the sworn twelve have a thief or two
Guiltier than him they try.”
“You rocks, you stones, you senseless things.
Know you not Daley?”
“The rest is silence.”
Senator Eleanor Sobel
April 20, 2009
Senator Eleanor Sobel
224 Senate Office Building
404 South Avenue Street
Tallahassee, Florida 32399-1100
RE: Words, words, and still more words
Senator Sobel,
Congratulations on getting the word Shylock banned from Florida statutes! Doubtless we will shortly be farting through silk because of this. Perhaps one of the more easily completed “shovel ready” projects would be to have a plethora of Zayda Grundys running around the sate with Magic Markers covering Shylock every time they see it.
I enclose a copy of a letter I sent to Mayor Richard “Little Dickie” Daley of Chicago.
In it I use the word Shylock. Does that make me subject to the Florida Word Police? I know it is interstate commerce – Florida to Illinois – and states cannot regulate it. Gibbons v Ogden. Ask someone to tell you about it. Since you have no respect for “Free men speak with free tongues”, let alone the Constitution, can I expect a knock on the door from a man with a Brown shirt and a can of gasoline demanding that I hand over any copies I have of Shakespeare’s plays?
“There is no vice so simple, but assumes some mark
of virtue on his outward parts.”
Senator Eleanor Sobel
224 Senate Office Building
404 South Avenue Street
Tallahassee, Florida 32399-1100
RE: Words, words, and still more words
Senator Sobel,
Congratulations on getting the word Shylock banned from Florida statutes! Doubtless we will shortly be farting through silk because of this. Perhaps one of the more easily completed “shovel ready” projects would be to have a plethora of Zayda Grundys running around the sate with Magic Markers covering Shylock every time they see it.
I enclose a copy of a letter I sent to Mayor Richard “Little Dickie” Daley of Chicago.
In it I use the word Shylock. Does that make me subject to the Florida Word Police? I know it is interstate commerce – Florida to Illinois – and states cannot regulate it. Gibbons v Ogden. Ask someone to tell you about it. Since you have no respect for “Free men speak with free tongues”, let alone the Constitution, can I expect a knock on the door from a man with a Brown shirt and a can of gasoline demanding that I hand over any copies I have of Shakespeare’s plays?
“There is no vice so simple, but assumes some mark
of virtue on his outward parts.”
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
County Commissioner Kristin Jaocbs
April 12, 2009
County Commissioner Kristin Jaocbs
115 South Andrews Avenue
Fort Lauderdale, Florida 33301
RE: Getting cut out of all the dough from the White House for “environmental” stuff
Commissioner Jacobs,
“My heart jumped and I thought there must be a mistake,”
said County Commissioner Kristin Jacobs, who is leading
Broward’s energy efficiency efforts.”
The Sun-Sentinel
Today
You
How did this happen? Was it something you said? Was it something you did? Was it something you didn’t do?
A few years ago, back when you were the Mayor of Broward County, a title on par with “the world’s tallest midget”, you refused to allow the downtown river, a river whose name escapes me, to be dyed green for Saint Patrick’s Day. You said it would be bad for the environment. Remember?
I am not sure why the introduction of 10,000 yellow rubber ducks into the same river is good for the environment and green dye, a dye that can be eaten, is bad for same. That is a subject for a different discussion.
Perhaps you didn’t know of one of the great traditions of the Cook County Democratic Party. Every Saint Patrick’s Day the Chicago River, all of it, is dyed green. Not just green but emerald green. Since I don’t think you would do well in the adult version of the FCATs it is possible that you didn’t know of it.
Marching past the green river is a tradition observed reverentially by all Chicago pols. Believe me when I tell you State Senators who wish to become United States Senators who wish to become President did the Midwest version of the Jig to the skirls of pipes playing Garryowen. When President O’Bama got to the White House he dyed the water in a fountain on the front lawn emerald green.
Do you see a pattern developing there?
You defied a Cook County Democratic tradition. Chicago pols have long memories.
Maybe that’s why Broward County got less money than they would have gotten if Senator McCain had been elected President. When Stacy Ritter, AKA “Cementhead”, insulted politicians she made sure they were all Republicans.
Here’s a tip from a guy from Hudson County, New Jersey. Don’t poke the big guy in the eye unless you’re Ulysses.
The other Chicago traditions – foetid, systemic corruption and a nepotism that is now a property right – are also a matter for a different time.
It’s too late for you to dye, retroactively, the river green but may I suggest that next year you start dumping the stuff into the river on Ash Wednesday? You can say it is to honor the Gaels who are part of the rainbow population of Broward plus aren’t we all supposed to go green. Next year, instead of 10,000 yellow rubber ducks toss 10,000 Kermit the Frog dolls into the river.
Perhaps “the smartest bear in the zoo” would best describe your time in public service, particularly your time as Mayor. By doing the two above mentioned things you could cement your standing as the poster girl for overachieving ursines everywhere.
But wait! There’s more.
“A task force is exploring ideas on how
Broward can help prevent climate change.”
op cit
I have the sinking feeling that if you were in Minnesota you would be on the barricades every 90 days to try to prevent temperate zone climate change. Up north it is known as Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter. Vivaldi, the Italian climatologist, celebrated them. Down here, a subtropical clime, it’s either hot or hotter.
Here are some ideas that need a champion to advance them. To use the mantra of the ninnies who still mourn the passing of Rachel Carson, “Think globally but act locally”.
#1 – Ban the use of electricity generated by coal fired plants. Electricity is fungible. You may not know this but the only thing worse than having 50% of our electricity coming from those coal fired plants is that about 20% comes from nuclear reactors. It would be tough to separate where the juice comes from. The solution is simple. A week has 128 hours. Turn off the power for 64. You pick them.
#2 – To rally the people to your righteous cause, a cause that all people might not immediately subscribe to, start with incremental steps. The first one is simple. Turn off all air conditioning units in any and all buildings owned, leased, or operated by Broward County. In particular, all hospitals, clinics, nursing homes, and child care centers are to go au naturel as quickly as possible. Perhaps Broward County can subsidize the manufacture of personal cooling devices. They used to be known as hand held, hand operated fans. It would be a natural for President O’Bama’s stimulus plan.
Here is another example of low lying fruit about climate change. It can easily be plucked by a serious politician.
I’ve been in and out of hospitals and rehab centers
for the last year. I had no idea of how much plastic they use. Syringes, probes, bed pans, food trays, dressings [not 1000 Island or French] everything is made of plastic. Where does the detritus from hospitals wind up? You guessed it! Landfills!!!
It’s time, it’s past time, to end this rape of Mother Nature.
#3 – CO2, that’s Carbon Dioxide, is more dangerous than Zyklon B. Forget all the stuff you read about photosynthesis. That’s just oil-industry paid for propaganda. Cheney was probably behind it. This requires a bold step from a leader who wants to make a difference.
At the next scheduled Commission meeting get the floor on a point of personal privilege. Give a short speech, and, yes, I will help you write it, about the coming horrors of CO2 overload. Gorilla Glue your nostrils and hermetically seal your lips with 4 inch staples driven in by an air gun. Then immediately wrap your entire head in duck tape. Eyes, ears, nose, occipital apertures, everything, including your hair and Adam’s apple.
Hold up a sign saying you are doing this for the drowning polar bears.
Your speech will have told us that there is only one sure way to stop humans from destroying the planet with their nasty habit of breathing out. Let us prepare to hold our breaths. Forever.
A great leader is in front.
Show us the way. We will follow.
County Commissioner Kristin Jaocbs
115 South Andrews Avenue
Fort Lauderdale, Florida 33301
RE: Getting cut out of all the dough from the White House for “environmental” stuff
Commissioner Jacobs,
“My heart jumped and I thought there must be a mistake,”
said County Commissioner Kristin Jacobs, who is leading
Broward’s energy efficiency efforts.”
The Sun-Sentinel
Today
You
How did this happen? Was it something you said? Was it something you did? Was it something you didn’t do?
A few years ago, back when you were the Mayor of Broward County, a title on par with “the world’s tallest midget”, you refused to allow the downtown river, a river whose name escapes me, to be dyed green for Saint Patrick’s Day. You said it would be bad for the environment. Remember?
I am not sure why the introduction of 10,000 yellow rubber ducks into the same river is good for the environment and green dye, a dye that can be eaten, is bad for same. That is a subject for a different discussion.
Perhaps you didn’t know of one of the great traditions of the Cook County Democratic Party. Every Saint Patrick’s Day the Chicago River, all of it, is dyed green. Not just green but emerald green. Since I don’t think you would do well in the adult version of the FCATs it is possible that you didn’t know of it.
Marching past the green river is a tradition observed reverentially by all Chicago pols. Believe me when I tell you State Senators who wish to become United States Senators who wish to become President did the Midwest version of the Jig to the skirls of pipes playing Garryowen. When President O’Bama got to the White House he dyed the water in a fountain on the front lawn emerald green.
Do you see a pattern developing there?
You defied a Cook County Democratic tradition. Chicago pols have long memories.
Maybe that’s why Broward County got less money than they would have gotten if Senator McCain had been elected President. When Stacy Ritter, AKA “Cementhead”, insulted politicians she made sure they were all Republicans.
Here’s a tip from a guy from Hudson County, New Jersey. Don’t poke the big guy in the eye unless you’re Ulysses.
The other Chicago traditions – foetid, systemic corruption and a nepotism that is now a property right – are also a matter for a different time.
It’s too late for you to dye, retroactively, the river green but may I suggest that next year you start dumping the stuff into the river on Ash Wednesday? You can say it is to honor the Gaels who are part of the rainbow population of Broward plus aren’t we all supposed to go green. Next year, instead of 10,000 yellow rubber ducks toss 10,000 Kermit the Frog dolls into the river.
Perhaps “the smartest bear in the zoo” would best describe your time in public service, particularly your time as Mayor. By doing the two above mentioned things you could cement your standing as the poster girl for overachieving ursines everywhere.
But wait! There’s more.
“A task force is exploring ideas on how
Broward can help prevent climate change.”
op cit
I have the sinking feeling that if you were in Minnesota you would be on the barricades every 90 days to try to prevent temperate zone climate change. Up north it is known as Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter. Vivaldi, the Italian climatologist, celebrated them. Down here, a subtropical clime, it’s either hot or hotter.
Here are some ideas that need a champion to advance them. To use the mantra of the ninnies who still mourn the passing of Rachel Carson, “Think globally but act locally”.
#1 – Ban the use of electricity generated by coal fired plants. Electricity is fungible. You may not know this but the only thing worse than having 50% of our electricity coming from those coal fired plants is that about 20% comes from nuclear reactors. It would be tough to separate where the juice comes from. The solution is simple. A week has 128 hours. Turn off the power for 64. You pick them.
#2 – To rally the people to your righteous cause, a cause that all people might not immediately subscribe to, start with incremental steps. The first one is simple. Turn off all air conditioning units in any and all buildings owned, leased, or operated by Broward County. In particular, all hospitals, clinics, nursing homes, and child care centers are to go au naturel as quickly as possible. Perhaps Broward County can subsidize the manufacture of personal cooling devices. They used to be known as hand held, hand operated fans. It would be a natural for President O’Bama’s stimulus plan.
Here is another example of low lying fruit about climate change. It can easily be plucked by a serious politician.
I’ve been in and out of hospitals and rehab centers
for the last year. I had no idea of how much plastic they use. Syringes, probes, bed pans, food trays, dressings [not 1000 Island or French] everything is made of plastic. Where does the detritus from hospitals wind up? You guessed it! Landfills!!!
It’s time, it’s past time, to end this rape of Mother Nature.
#3 – CO2, that’s Carbon Dioxide, is more dangerous than Zyklon B. Forget all the stuff you read about photosynthesis. That’s just oil-industry paid for propaganda. Cheney was probably behind it. This requires a bold step from a leader who wants to make a difference.
At the next scheduled Commission meeting get the floor on a point of personal privilege. Give a short speech, and, yes, I will help you write it, about the coming horrors of CO2 overload. Gorilla Glue your nostrils and hermetically seal your lips with 4 inch staples driven in by an air gun. Then immediately wrap your entire head in duck tape. Eyes, ears, nose, occipital apertures, everything, including your hair and Adam’s apple.
Hold up a sign saying you are doing this for the drowning polar bears.
Your speech will have told us that there is only one sure way to stop humans from destroying the planet with their nasty habit of breathing out. Let us prepare to hold our breaths. Forever.
A great leader is in front.
Show us the way. We will follow.
Stephen L. Goldstein, The Sun-Sentinel
April 12, 2009
Stephen L. Goldstein
The Sun-Sentinel
200 East Las Olas Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida 33316
RE: Easter Greetings!
My dear Professor,
It being Easter Sunday I am tempered by the redemptive spirit of the season. Not to the point of metaphorically turning the other cheek, mind you, but rather in the spirit of forgiveness. Forgive me but your column precludes both.
One of the building blocks of modern American Liberalism is the total disregard of History.
You begin your paean to Obama by conveniently ignoring some hard facts, inconvenient truths if you will, about Franklin Roosevelt’s time in office.
#1 – He ran in 1932 promising to balance the budget. Honest. You can look it up.
#2 – Having broken that promise it is well to note that by nay measurable standard the economy was in worse shape in 1938 than it was in 1932.
#3 – He ran in 1940 promising to keep us out of war.
#4 – Have you forgotten his attempt to pack the Supreme Court? I mention that because as the prototypical modern American Liberal you trust in the courts to correct mistakes made by citizens. Your column chastises the citizens of Florida for not voting a straight party line.
As I said, the above are “inconvenient truths” but they are truths none the less.
You praise Florida for voting for Obama but damn the same electorate for forbidding Mister and Mister nuptials.
Beneath the shining armor of a modern American Liberal beats the heart of a Fascist. Brown shirted and wearing hob nailed boots with designer names but a Fascist none the less. Book burning would be OK provided the “bad” books got burned.
Voting is “good” when good people and good things win.
Voting is “bad” when bad people and bad things win.
I was involved in a local election in New Jersey. My guy lost. I asked him what happened. “The other guy got more votes”, was his reply.
When we expect, when we anticipate, that Judges will correct mistakes that voters make we go on the “slippery slope” that liberals never tire of warning us about when the issue is pornography or public prayers.
If Judges can decide political questions of public policy how will know that the “good” Judges are on the Bench? If Judges rule based on the latest polls why even bother having elections?
You sound like a hectoring Sunday School teacher with a captive audience on a very hot day.
Would you think ill of me if I were to ask what “rights” are denied to a transgendered Floridian? One “right” open to them would be the ability to advertise unisex underwear, a “right” denied to those who choose to stay with the genitals originally assigned to us.
“How sad of all the things that men endure how few
Laws or Kings can cause or cure.”
There are things that Courts cannot decide. As much as progressive agents of change wish it were different those changes must come from within.
You may wish to consult Dante on this. He began La Commedia with the lines that have withstood the centuries.
“Half way through my journey I found myself in the dark wood of error.”
For you it was not to be today.
You end your Jeremiad by using a typical modern American Liberal ploy.
If you don’t like what you hear the solution is simple.
Ban it.
I know that you are positively priapristic in anticipation of the return of the Orwellian named “Fairness Doctrine”.
Until that glorious day you resurrect the chestnut from olden days of the secondary boycott. “Use your financial clout” you tell us. Tell the sponsors of Rush Limbaugh that we will not buy their products. One of his big sponsors is General Motors. Are you telling us to buy Japanese cars made in Japan?
You mention that Bill O’Reilly is saying that he will boycott Spain because of their judicial proceedings against the Bush Administration. Your tone indicates that you are in favor of said proceedings.
Would it be Logical of me to deduce that you are in favor of Franco?
I know that, as the prototypical modern American Liberal, your favorite color is plaid. When we take political lesson from the Spanish we just may be in need of divine intervention.
Stephen L. Goldstein
The Sun-Sentinel
200 East Las Olas Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida 33316
RE: Easter Greetings!
My dear Professor,
It being Easter Sunday I am tempered by the redemptive spirit of the season. Not to the point of metaphorically turning the other cheek, mind you, but rather in the spirit of forgiveness. Forgive me but your column precludes both.
One of the building blocks of modern American Liberalism is the total disregard of History.
You begin your paean to Obama by conveniently ignoring some hard facts, inconvenient truths if you will, about Franklin Roosevelt’s time in office.
#1 – He ran in 1932 promising to balance the budget. Honest. You can look it up.
#2 – Having broken that promise it is well to note that by nay measurable standard the economy was in worse shape in 1938 than it was in 1932.
#3 – He ran in 1940 promising to keep us out of war.
#4 – Have you forgotten his attempt to pack the Supreme Court? I mention that because as the prototypical modern American Liberal you trust in the courts to correct mistakes made by citizens. Your column chastises the citizens of Florida for not voting a straight party line.
As I said, the above are “inconvenient truths” but they are truths none the less.
You praise Florida for voting for Obama but damn the same electorate for forbidding Mister and Mister nuptials.
Beneath the shining armor of a modern American Liberal beats the heart of a Fascist. Brown shirted and wearing hob nailed boots with designer names but a Fascist none the less. Book burning would be OK provided the “bad” books got burned.
Voting is “good” when good people and good things win.
Voting is “bad” when bad people and bad things win.
I was involved in a local election in New Jersey. My guy lost. I asked him what happened. “The other guy got more votes”, was his reply.
When we expect, when we anticipate, that Judges will correct mistakes that voters make we go on the “slippery slope” that liberals never tire of warning us about when the issue is pornography or public prayers.
If Judges can decide political questions of public policy how will know that the “good” Judges are on the Bench? If Judges rule based on the latest polls why even bother having elections?
You sound like a hectoring Sunday School teacher with a captive audience on a very hot day.
Would you think ill of me if I were to ask what “rights” are denied to a transgendered Floridian? One “right” open to them would be the ability to advertise unisex underwear, a “right” denied to those who choose to stay with the genitals originally assigned to us.
“How sad of all the things that men endure how few
Laws or Kings can cause or cure.”
There are things that Courts cannot decide. As much as progressive agents of change wish it were different those changes must come from within.
You may wish to consult Dante on this. He began La Commedia with the lines that have withstood the centuries.
“Half way through my journey I found myself in the dark wood of error.”
For you it was not to be today.
You end your Jeremiad by using a typical modern American Liberal ploy.
If you don’t like what you hear the solution is simple.
Ban it.
I know that you are positively priapristic in anticipation of the return of the Orwellian named “Fairness Doctrine”.
Until that glorious day you resurrect the chestnut from olden days of the secondary boycott. “Use your financial clout” you tell us. Tell the sponsors of Rush Limbaugh that we will not buy their products. One of his big sponsors is General Motors. Are you telling us to buy Japanese cars made in Japan?
You mention that Bill O’Reilly is saying that he will boycott Spain because of their judicial proceedings against the Bush Administration. Your tone indicates that you are in favor of said proceedings.
Would it be Logical of me to deduce that you are in favor of Franco?
I know that, as the prototypical modern American Liberal, your favorite color is plaid. When we take political lesson from the Spanish we just may be in need of divine intervention.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Marva Wiley - President, Gwen S. Cherry Black Lawyers Association
April 9, 2009
Marva Wiley - President
Gwen S. Cherry Black Lawyers Association
P.O. Box 012631
Miami, Florida 33101
RE: Acosta, the FIU Law School, and the meaning of “competent” as reported in today’s Daily Business Review.
Ms. Wiley,
I consider it a sign of cultural movement – Note, please, that I did not say progress – when a Black chick with a law degree can make a horse’s ass of herself and there is a complete lack of public harrumphing and guffawing accompanied by “I told you so” remarks from the White ruling class.
You say that Alex Acosta, a citizen confirmed by the United States Senate to the job of United States Attorney for the Southern District of Florida, “has an abysmal track record on diversity”. Further, this should disqualify him from consideration in the contest to be the Dean of the Law School at Florida International University
It would appear to me, based on your asinine statement, that you are the poster girl for diversity. In this instance the narrow niche – Black Female with law degree, Boobette, Esq – is filled by you with distinction. In your defense it appears that you got your job the old fashioned way. You earned it.
You say that his “hiring and promotion record has been abysmal when viewed through a lens of diversity”. I went through your website where I saw written, without a tinge of sarcasm or a soupcon of irony the following statement:
“She stood alone and said ‘nay’ when the state rushed
helter-skelter to push Black and poor students out of schools
in the name of competency.”
That’s what you wrote.
Logically, the only conclusion that can be drawn is that Black law students, not being held to rules of competency required of all other students, are incompetent. While I know that you cannot construct a universal from any number of particulars you bypass 25 centuries of reasoned discourse to make a pointless point.
Does that incompetency extend to you?
On a one to ten scale of competence how would you rate Mr. Justice Marshall? That’s Thurgood, not John.
How would you rate Mr. Justice Thomas?
As a member of the Bar you probably have some knowledge of the Constitution. Silly me! Of course I am talking about the document. I don’t mean the ship.
Do you think it would be “competent” for President Obama, a former teacher of Constitutional Law, to exercise the authority specifically given to him – vide Letters of Marque and Reprisal – in said Constitution to settle the account recently opened by the feral pirates off the coast of Somalia?
Or is it possible that the President is the beneficiary of an Affirmative Action policy and that this country’s commitment to diversity got him into the White House? Would you say that he is “competent”?
Damn that word!
Marva Wiley - President
Gwen S. Cherry Black Lawyers Association
P.O. Box 012631
Miami, Florida 33101
RE: Acosta, the FIU Law School, and the meaning of “competent” as reported in today’s Daily Business Review.
Ms. Wiley,
I consider it a sign of cultural movement – Note, please, that I did not say progress – when a Black chick with a law degree can make a horse’s ass of herself and there is a complete lack of public harrumphing and guffawing accompanied by “I told you so” remarks from the White ruling class.
You say that Alex Acosta, a citizen confirmed by the United States Senate to the job of United States Attorney for the Southern District of Florida, “has an abysmal track record on diversity”. Further, this should disqualify him from consideration in the contest to be the Dean of the Law School at Florida International University
It would appear to me, based on your asinine statement, that you are the poster girl for diversity. In this instance the narrow niche – Black Female with law degree, Boobette, Esq – is filled by you with distinction. In your defense it appears that you got your job the old fashioned way. You earned it.
You say that his “hiring and promotion record has been abysmal when viewed through a lens of diversity”. I went through your website where I saw written, without a tinge of sarcasm or a soupcon of irony the following statement:
“She stood alone and said ‘nay’ when the state rushed
helter-skelter to push Black and poor students out of schools
in the name of competency.”
That’s what you wrote.
Logically, the only conclusion that can be drawn is that Black law students, not being held to rules of competency required of all other students, are incompetent. While I know that you cannot construct a universal from any number of particulars you bypass 25 centuries of reasoned discourse to make a pointless point.
Does that incompetency extend to you?
On a one to ten scale of competence how would you rate Mr. Justice Marshall? That’s Thurgood, not John.
How would you rate Mr. Justice Thomas?
As a member of the Bar you probably have some knowledge of the Constitution. Silly me! Of course I am talking about the document. I don’t mean the ship.
Do you think it would be “competent” for President Obama, a former teacher of Constitutional Law, to exercise the authority specifically given to him – vide Letters of Marque and Reprisal – in said Constitution to settle the account recently opened by the feral pirates off the coast of Somalia?
Or is it possible that the President is the beneficiary of an Affirmative Action policy and that this country’s commitment to diversity got him into the White House? Would you say that he is “competent”?
Damn that word!
E. J. Dionne, The Washington Post
April 8, 2009
E. J. Dionne
The Washington Post
1150 15th Street NW
Washington, D.C. 20071
RE: In which I prove by using scientific methods – statistical sampling and deconstruction – so beloved of modern American Liberals that the consensus it produces a la GlobalCoolingGlobalWarmingClimateChange is impenetrable to attack by “the forces of cynicism and obstruction” why universal government run health, should it be imposed by President Benito Obama, will be a train wreck of Homeric proportions.
Mr. Dionne,
I tell you now, with 100% metaphysical certitude, that the shapeless blob, a blob predicated on the simultaneous willing suspension of belief and disbelief, not to mention that both our suns would have to rise and set in the North, that universal government backed health care will not work. It is the same health care that you said but 2 days ago that only “the forces of cynicism and destruction” were keeping it from the Republic.
The only proof I need was presented to me yesterday morning in the Post Office substation on 17th Street in Fort Lauderdale, Florida 33316. It is called the Causeway Postal Store/
4 employees were on duty… or so I thought.
The first two were at the service desk.
I approached them and began to tell them what I wanted.
The first said, “I’m not working.”
The second said, “I’m not working at this facility.”
I responded in a calm, measured voice, “You’re standing behind the counter and you’re not working?”
At that point I stopped. How many postal customers, and the key word here is customers, have had this conversation? Your real world business instincts demand that you stop. If you continue you run the risk of having them, metaphorically speaking, pee in your postal potage. Your mail will go either to Kandahar or, worse, to Detroit. Plus, there is the added risk of them producing automatic weapons, weapons intercepted from their intended destination south of the Border Down Mexico Way, and tattooing your sternum with controlled bursts.
Witnessing this with an air of unbelievability was a purple and black shirted FedEx employee.
Not that it couldn’t or hadn’t happened at his employer but rather because it is understood by other employees that it hurts them. The rules that separate the wheat from the chaff in the retail business explain it simply. Those rules are:
#1 – The customer is profit.
#2 – The employee is overhead.
#3 – When in doubt repeat #1 ad infinitum. That means over and over.
The FedEx employee knows that when mediocrity and excellence are treated the same excellence will suffer. Think of it as a marketplace example of Gresham’s Law. In any business where mediocrity becomes the employer’s accepted template for performance he knows that you Damn well better have the only bat and ball in town because no one will want to play with you. Ever.
The best thing that ever happened to UPS was FedEx.
The best thing that ever happened to FedEx was when UPS went into the overnight delivery business.
The best thing that ever happens to customers is when excellence is rewarded at companies that they do business with.
I concluded my business at the main counter.
As I left the store the employee who wasn’t working and the employee who wasn’t working there were…working.
If we extrapolate the Post Office example of 4 employees being paid with only 2 earning their pay onto to the universe of health care we must that note there will be immediate betting pools on how quickly it will take for the first patient to die of cholera in an ICU unit.
Witch Doctors, Santeria, and assorted Voodoos will be supplied for the culturally diverse patients. Sterilization, a practice that leaves a huge carbon foot print, will be permitted only 3 days a week. Surgeons will be fined for not recycling scalpels. The practice of re-using sterile gloves will be encouraged. [Proctologists go last.] The IRS will settle all billing disputes. Referrals will be outsourced to the G20 Rural Enterprise Zone at the Khyber Pass.
It is passing perpetually strange that government at any level is still the object of love and adoration by modern American Liberals.
The Mayor of New Orleans couldn’t get 500 school buses filled with storm victims. Naturally, he took his family to Houston to ride out the storm. The United States couldn’t get 500 trucks filled with ice and water across the bridge into New Orleans. These same people are now supposed to be able to schedule transesophageal ecocardiograms because they “passed” a Civil Service examination, an examination burdened by goals, not quotas?
“I’ll retire to Bedlam”, a 19th Century medical allusion that is hauntingly accurate in the 21st, is still in force.
Why do I think that tomorrow’s X-ray machines will run on ethanol?
Take your left hand and your right hand. Study them closely. Try to find your ass using as many of your hands as you need.
Take your time.
Remember, there will be a test.
Sincerely,
from “the forces of cynicism and obstruction”
E. J. Dionne
The Washington Post
1150 15th Street NW
Washington, D.C. 20071
RE: In which I prove by using scientific methods – statistical sampling and deconstruction – so beloved of modern American Liberals that the consensus it produces a la GlobalCoolingGlobalWarmingClimateChange is impenetrable to attack by “the forces of cynicism and obstruction” why universal government run health, should it be imposed by President Benito Obama, will be a train wreck of Homeric proportions.
Mr. Dionne,
I tell you now, with 100% metaphysical certitude, that the shapeless blob, a blob predicated on the simultaneous willing suspension of belief and disbelief, not to mention that both our suns would have to rise and set in the North, that universal government backed health care will not work. It is the same health care that you said but 2 days ago that only “the forces of cynicism and destruction” were keeping it from the Republic.
The only proof I need was presented to me yesterday morning in the Post Office substation on 17th Street in Fort Lauderdale, Florida 33316. It is called the Causeway Postal Store/
4 employees were on duty… or so I thought.
The first two were at the service desk.
I approached them and began to tell them what I wanted.
The first said, “I’m not working.”
The second said, “I’m not working at this facility.”
I responded in a calm, measured voice, “You’re standing behind the counter and you’re not working?”
At that point I stopped. How many postal customers, and the key word here is customers, have had this conversation? Your real world business instincts demand that you stop. If you continue you run the risk of having them, metaphorically speaking, pee in your postal potage. Your mail will go either to Kandahar or, worse, to Detroit. Plus, there is the added risk of them producing automatic weapons, weapons intercepted from their intended destination south of the Border Down Mexico Way, and tattooing your sternum with controlled bursts.
Witnessing this with an air of unbelievability was a purple and black shirted FedEx employee.
Not that it couldn’t or hadn’t happened at his employer but rather because it is understood by other employees that it hurts them. The rules that separate the wheat from the chaff in the retail business explain it simply. Those rules are:
#1 – The customer is profit.
#2 – The employee is overhead.
#3 – When in doubt repeat #1 ad infinitum. That means over and over.
The FedEx employee knows that when mediocrity and excellence are treated the same excellence will suffer. Think of it as a marketplace example of Gresham’s Law. In any business where mediocrity becomes the employer’s accepted template for performance he knows that you Damn well better have the only bat and ball in town because no one will want to play with you. Ever.
The best thing that ever happened to UPS was FedEx.
The best thing that ever happened to FedEx was when UPS went into the overnight delivery business.
The best thing that ever happens to customers is when excellence is rewarded at companies that they do business with.
I concluded my business at the main counter.
As I left the store the employee who wasn’t working and the employee who wasn’t working there were…working.
If we extrapolate the Post Office example of 4 employees being paid with only 2 earning their pay onto to the universe of health care we must that note there will be immediate betting pools on how quickly it will take for the first patient to die of cholera in an ICU unit.
Witch Doctors, Santeria, and assorted Voodoos will be supplied for the culturally diverse patients. Sterilization, a practice that leaves a huge carbon foot print, will be permitted only 3 days a week. Surgeons will be fined for not recycling scalpels. The practice of re-using sterile gloves will be encouraged. [Proctologists go last.] The IRS will settle all billing disputes. Referrals will be outsourced to the G20 Rural Enterprise Zone at the Khyber Pass.
It is passing perpetually strange that government at any level is still the object of love and adoration by modern American Liberals.
The Mayor of New Orleans couldn’t get 500 school buses filled with storm victims. Naturally, he took his family to Houston to ride out the storm. The United States couldn’t get 500 trucks filled with ice and water across the bridge into New Orleans. These same people are now supposed to be able to schedule transesophageal ecocardiograms because they “passed” a Civil Service examination, an examination burdened by goals, not quotas?
“I’ll retire to Bedlam”, a 19th Century medical allusion that is hauntingly accurate in the 21st, is still in force.
Why do I think that tomorrow’s X-ray machines will run on ethanol?
Take your left hand and your right hand. Study them closely. Try to find your ass using as many of your hands as you need.
Take your time.
Remember, there will be a test.
Sincerely,
from “the forces of cynicism and obstruction”
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Texas State Representative Valinda Bolton
April 6, 2009
State Representative Valinda Bolton
Room E2, Capitol Extension
Austin, TX 78701
RE: There’s no horse’s ass like a Texas horse’s ass.
Representative Bolton,
In my never ending quest to find and name elected officials who are consummate horses’ asses I stumbled on to you in today’s On Line Wall Street Journal. The inane utterances of modern American Liberals of which you are decidedly one, the quotidian effort to make water run uphill or to make a 4 sided triangle, the eternal effort at quantifying, as the great Doctor Johnson said, “the triumph of hope over experience”, are expected of politicians who have no connection to the “permanent things”.
Your comments on the plight of the Tigua ladies, Texas redskins who, while they can vote for President of the United States, cannot vote for the Chief Rain Dancer of their tribe, were not particularly egregious. As a Democrat you watched as your Party tried to do away with secret ballots in union elections. If you can sit still with that why get upset about some squaws in West Jabib, Texas. I mean it’s not like Ann Coulter and Phyllis Schlafly were coming to town. Now there’s a pleasant thought! Imagine the chaos if both were to come, guns blazing and proclaiming Logic to the masses.
The reason why I pick on you, other than the obvious one of your equine hind quarters, is two fold.
#1 – My granddaughters, all Texas born, still live in Texas. Fortunately they are 500 miles away from your rhetorical incontinence.
#2 – My Godson, with his wife and two daughters, the youngest of whom actually climbed up on my lap and settled in quite comfortably the first time she met me, may live in your district. The thought of him and them growing up in a place where you may have some influence on public policy fills me with dread.
“After the meeting-during which she discovered that Tiqua women have
‘a great deal of self determination for themselves and their families’-
Bolton went laissez-faire on the voting issue. ‘Like a lot things, I realize
it’s a lot more complicated than I probably appreciated,’ she said.”
Actually, it isn’t.
It’s rather simple.
Perhaps your reason for hesitating is political.
The Tiquas, surely nature’s noblemen and how the mighty Commanches missed them is a question for a different time, may be sitting on an aboriginal gold mine: gambling and other leisure activities.
As long as we bribe American Indians to stay somewhere in centuries past with gold gained from Round Eyes gambling and gamboling with the state getting a few crumbs they will continue to treat their women like chattel.
May I suggest that if gambling is the Utopian honey pot of cash starved politicians how much greater would be the reward if you combined it with whore houses?
What the Hell else are these Indian ladies good for?
Equal rights dictate that the desires of America’s rump wranglers be honored. Congressman Barney Frank ran a male only whore house in his basement. Maybe he could help set up the business. Alas, the days of Red men scalping White men in battle are over. Today, the business model is to fleece them but leave them standing for another bout. In the case of the Texas Knocking Shops, leave them horizontal. How close are you to “The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas”? Sing, dance, try to fill inside straights, plow Pocahontas, throw a jump into Sitting Bull. There is no difference.
And don’t forget the idea of opium dens
What the Hell do you care?
Later on in the same Wall Street Journal dispatch the quaint Hindu custom of suttee is mentioned. When Gunga Patel, Sr. died his friends would wrap him in a shroud and toss him on to a fire that Texas A&M used as a model for football rallies. To keep the home fires burning they would truss up Mrs. Patel and toss her onto the same pyre. What Mrs. Patel felt about this was irrelevant. It was a “complicated” situation. They were bound by “tradition”.
The British army put a stop to this by using one of their traditions.
Colonel Rottensocks said we’ll have our traditions play out side by side.
If you build your funeral pyre I’ll build my gallows.
If you cook Mrs. Patel I’ll hang you.
Thus the “complicated” tradition was ended. Thus was civilization introduced to the Lesser Breeds.
Do you see how simple it is?
You probably have your knickers in a knot over how we treat bomb throwing towel heads in Camp Gitmo, America’s first adult sleep away camp. That’s what modern American Liberals do.
Here it is different. By staying silent [Qui tacet consitet, remember?] you acquiesce in the continuance of Stage One Sharia Law – Texas style.
I have 3 granddaughters and 2 nieces who can be infected by your verbal ca-ca. Since they are all minor children they need an adult to speak for them. Unfortunately, that adult is not you.
There is nothing “complicated” about it.
Thereby, by the powers vested in me, I hereby name you
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
Leave my Texas ladies alone.
State Representative Valinda Bolton
Room E2, Capitol Extension
Austin, TX 78701
RE: There’s no horse’s ass like a Texas horse’s ass.
Representative Bolton,
In my never ending quest to find and name elected officials who are consummate horses’ asses I stumbled on to you in today’s On Line Wall Street Journal. The inane utterances of modern American Liberals of which you are decidedly one, the quotidian effort to make water run uphill or to make a 4 sided triangle, the eternal effort at quantifying, as the great Doctor Johnson said, “the triumph of hope over experience”, are expected of politicians who have no connection to the “permanent things”.
Your comments on the plight of the Tigua ladies, Texas redskins who, while they can vote for President of the United States, cannot vote for the Chief Rain Dancer of their tribe, were not particularly egregious. As a Democrat you watched as your Party tried to do away with secret ballots in union elections. If you can sit still with that why get upset about some squaws in West Jabib, Texas. I mean it’s not like Ann Coulter and Phyllis Schlafly were coming to town. Now there’s a pleasant thought! Imagine the chaos if both were to come, guns blazing and proclaiming Logic to the masses.
The reason why I pick on you, other than the obvious one of your equine hind quarters, is two fold.
#1 – My granddaughters, all Texas born, still live in Texas. Fortunately they are 500 miles away from your rhetorical incontinence.
#2 – My Godson, with his wife and two daughters, the youngest of whom actually climbed up on my lap and settled in quite comfortably the first time she met me, may live in your district. The thought of him and them growing up in a place where you may have some influence on public policy fills me with dread.
“After the meeting-during which she discovered that Tiqua women have
‘a great deal of self determination for themselves and their families’-
Bolton went laissez-faire on the voting issue. ‘Like a lot things, I realize
it’s a lot more complicated than I probably appreciated,’ she said.”
Actually, it isn’t.
It’s rather simple.
Perhaps your reason for hesitating is political.
The Tiquas, surely nature’s noblemen and how the mighty Commanches missed them is a question for a different time, may be sitting on an aboriginal gold mine: gambling and other leisure activities.
As long as we bribe American Indians to stay somewhere in centuries past with gold gained from Round Eyes gambling and gamboling with the state getting a few crumbs they will continue to treat their women like chattel.
May I suggest that if gambling is the Utopian honey pot of cash starved politicians how much greater would be the reward if you combined it with whore houses?
What the Hell else are these Indian ladies good for?
Equal rights dictate that the desires of America’s rump wranglers be honored. Congressman Barney Frank ran a male only whore house in his basement. Maybe he could help set up the business. Alas, the days of Red men scalping White men in battle are over. Today, the business model is to fleece them but leave them standing for another bout. In the case of the Texas Knocking Shops, leave them horizontal. How close are you to “The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas”? Sing, dance, try to fill inside straights, plow Pocahontas, throw a jump into Sitting Bull. There is no difference.
And don’t forget the idea of opium dens
What the Hell do you care?
Later on in the same Wall Street Journal dispatch the quaint Hindu custom of suttee is mentioned. When Gunga Patel, Sr. died his friends would wrap him in a shroud and toss him on to a fire that Texas A&M used as a model for football rallies. To keep the home fires burning they would truss up Mrs. Patel and toss her onto the same pyre. What Mrs. Patel felt about this was irrelevant. It was a “complicated” situation. They were bound by “tradition”.
The British army put a stop to this by using one of their traditions.
Colonel Rottensocks said we’ll have our traditions play out side by side.
If you build your funeral pyre I’ll build my gallows.
If you cook Mrs. Patel I’ll hang you.
Thus the “complicated” tradition was ended. Thus was civilization introduced to the Lesser Breeds.
Do you see how simple it is?
You probably have your knickers in a knot over how we treat bomb throwing towel heads in Camp Gitmo, America’s first adult sleep away camp. That’s what modern American Liberals do.
Here it is different. By staying silent [Qui tacet consitet, remember?] you acquiesce in the continuance of Stage One Sharia Law – Texas style.
I have 3 granddaughters and 2 nieces who can be infected by your verbal ca-ca. Since they are all minor children they need an adult to speak for them. Unfortunately, that adult is not you.
There is nothing “complicated” about it.
Thereby, by the powers vested in me, I hereby name you
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
Leave my Texas ladies alone.
Monday, April 6, 2009
E.J. Dionne, The Washington Post
April 6, 2009
E.J. Dionne
The Washington Post
1150 15th Street NW
Washington, D.C. 20071
RE: “Health Care Year” – The Year of the Omadahn? – Your marvelous column this date on overcoming gravity if enough good people want it to happen. I mean really, really want it to happen.
Mr. Dionne,
Having solved the banking crisis, having solved, save for those pesky Gomers in North Korea, the world crisis, having solved the car crisis, you herald the President on his decision to solve the health care crisis. All of these will be done before hurricane season which, doubtless, he will save us from the ravages of by outlawing it before Father’s Day.
“True, Congress will have to pay for all this.”
Congress will have to pay for all this? And I bet your Mom thought you were smart. Congress pays for nothing. Before they can authorize checks they must first take money from people who have it or borrow it from people who wish to lend it to us.
[It is well to note that Hillary Rodham Clinton spent her entire time in the Senate railing against the Chi-Coms and their insatiable Yellow Peril appetite for United States Treasury obligations. She becomes Secretary of State and she jumps on a SR-71 wearing her best pole outfit and heads straight to the Forbidden City. En route she is joined by volunteers from the Mustang Ranch. They had to learn, in addition to practicing their innate skills, how to say, “Buy more T-bills” in Mandarin. No, Monica was not there. Politics does make for strange bedfellows, doesn’t it?]
But what is it that “Congress will have to pay for”?
Health care, dummy!
You say the “government will have a decade to get costs and expenditures in line”. 4 years in will there be a “surge”? Led by whom?
I know that when politicians cross the Potomac they become wiser, taller, plus they sing better. These gifts are now visited on columnists.
Exactly who are these green-eye shaded supermen who will “get costs and expenditures in line”? Where are these devotees of Deming now? Move over Graham & Dodd, the spread sheet A-Team is being assembled!
Will they be the bright boys who run the United States Postal Service?
I am sure the IRS can supply some management expertise.
At the local level there is an untapped mother lode at any Department of Motor Vehicle office.
Theses people are just waiting to zero in on unneeded double ventricular parasystole tests. Any thought to bringing back Doctor Kevorkian?
Before you get us hooked up to a Kool-Aid IV, can you tell me the difference between a presumptively bad Republican deficit and a presumptively good Democratic deficit?
In the run up to the good times – in the words of legendary labor leader Fred Kite “All them corn fields and ballet at night” – with bad guys, both living and dead, paying for it perhaps we can have a trial run.
Before we turn all of medicine over to the zombies who work at the Department of Education and the Department of Agriculture perhaps we could have a trial run. Let’s see how well the Feds run GM. I’d put VP “Curley” Biden in charge of used cars. I can see him wearing electric blue slacks and suede shoes, can’t you?
Count me as a charter member of “the forces of cynicism and obstruction”.
Mrs. Benito Obama has some practical experience in the health care profession, doesn’t she?
Proctoscopies for all!
PS – Your inclusion of Congressman Rangel as one of the head poltroons to assemble this panjandrum juggernaut is brilliant. He can bring all the other tax cheats, including Governor and Mrs. Blago, back from under the bus. That way there will be more room for the Poles and the Czechs.
E.J. Dionne
The Washington Post
1150 15th Street NW
Washington, D.C. 20071
RE: “Health Care Year” – The Year of the Omadahn? – Your marvelous column this date on overcoming gravity if enough good people want it to happen. I mean really, really want it to happen.
Mr. Dionne,
Having solved the banking crisis, having solved, save for those pesky Gomers in North Korea, the world crisis, having solved the car crisis, you herald the President on his decision to solve the health care crisis. All of these will be done before hurricane season which, doubtless, he will save us from the ravages of by outlawing it before Father’s Day.
“True, Congress will have to pay for all this.”
Congress will have to pay for all this? And I bet your Mom thought you were smart. Congress pays for nothing. Before they can authorize checks they must first take money from people who have it or borrow it from people who wish to lend it to us.
[It is well to note that Hillary Rodham Clinton spent her entire time in the Senate railing against the Chi-Coms and their insatiable Yellow Peril appetite for United States Treasury obligations. She becomes Secretary of State and she jumps on a SR-71 wearing her best pole outfit and heads straight to the Forbidden City. En route she is joined by volunteers from the Mustang Ranch. They had to learn, in addition to practicing their innate skills, how to say, “Buy more T-bills” in Mandarin. No, Monica was not there. Politics does make for strange bedfellows, doesn’t it?]
But what is it that “Congress will have to pay for”?
Health care, dummy!
You say the “government will have a decade to get costs and expenditures in line”. 4 years in will there be a “surge”? Led by whom?
I know that when politicians cross the Potomac they become wiser, taller, plus they sing better. These gifts are now visited on columnists.
Exactly who are these green-eye shaded supermen who will “get costs and expenditures in line”? Where are these devotees of Deming now? Move over Graham & Dodd, the spread sheet A-Team is being assembled!
Will they be the bright boys who run the United States Postal Service?
I am sure the IRS can supply some management expertise.
At the local level there is an untapped mother lode at any Department of Motor Vehicle office.
Theses people are just waiting to zero in on unneeded double ventricular parasystole tests. Any thought to bringing back Doctor Kevorkian?
Before you get us hooked up to a Kool-Aid IV, can you tell me the difference between a presumptively bad Republican deficit and a presumptively good Democratic deficit?
In the run up to the good times – in the words of legendary labor leader Fred Kite “All them corn fields and ballet at night” – with bad guys, both living and dead, paying for it perhaps we can have a trial run.
Before we turn all of medicine over to the zombies who work at the Department of Education and the Department of Agriculture perhaps we could have a trial run. Let’s see how well the Feds run GM. I’d put VP “Curley” Biden in charge of used cars. I can see him wearing electric blue slacks and suede shoes, can’t you?
Count me as a charter member of “the forces of cynicism and obstruction”.
Mrs. Benito Obama has some practical experience in the health care profession, doesn’t she?
Proctoscopies for all!
PS – Your inclusion of Congressman Rangel as one of the head poltroons to assemble this panjandrum juggernaut is brilliant. He can bring all the other tax cheats, including Governor and Mrs. Blago, back from under the bus. That way there will be more room for the Poles and the Czechs.
Congressman Ron Klein
April 5, 2009
Congressman Ron Klein
800 East Broward Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida 33301
Congressman Klein,
Would it be too audacious of me to hope that you would introduce a Sense of Congress resolution recommending that whenever a President is in Europe that he visits, officially and with full military honors, at least one American military cemetery?
No reply is necessary.
Congressman Ron Klein
800 East Broward Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida 33301
Congressman Klein,
Would it be too audacious of me to hope that you would introduce a Sense of Congress resolution recommending that whenever a President is in Europe that he visits, officially and with full military honors, at least one American military cemetery?
No reply is necessary.
Senator Richard Durbin
March 31, 2009
Senator Richard Durbin
525 South 8th Street
Springfield, Illinois 62703
RE: Campaign finance reform, yet again
Dear Little Dick,
At the risk of being tarred with the racism brush what about the 800 pound gorilla lurking in the corner? Primate references are OK as long as the target is Caucasian. Since you are a Democrat from Illinois I know that you can appreciate the irony of Abraham Lincoln being called a “baboon” by the Democratic Party and the New York Times.
The 800 pound gorilla I refer is President B. Hussein Obama. Since he rallied the troops to defy the Constitution – Bills of Attainder? Ex post facto? – over AIG and then decided who should be employed by GM I can now change the ‘B’ from Barack to Benito. George Soros spent a lot of money to get people to stuff $20 bills into little white envelopes so as to skip the finance laws in place last year. Why should this be different?
I heard you say that your new law would free up elected politicians to legislate and not have to dirty their hands raising money. About that contention, two things:
#1 – Considering their record for the last 2 years the common weal would be better served with them out of the legislature be it for fund raising, campaigning, non-gender specific canoodling, and proclaiming how chest thumping proud they are of their “non-malodorous fecal matter” status. If they are not in session they can’t pass any laws. #2 – Your focus is on re-electing sitting legislators. How about the guys running against the smarmy bastards who are there?
Senator Dodd and Senator Obama split $205,000 from AIG in 2006. Cui bono? Certainly not the people of this country. Is that what you had in mind?
Senator Kennedy, Senator Kerry, Senator Rockefeller, Senator Kohl, and Senator Feinstein have so God Damn much money that, should I decide to commit suicide, all I need do is jump off their wallets. Other than being members of the Lucky Sperm Club what the Hell did these swells ever do?
Since we now know that the Constitution no longer counts why not have legislation limiting the amount of personal money that can be spent on an election? The present system places poor people, people “unlucky in life’s lottery” and people who are not members of the Lucky Sperm Club, at a disadvantage. Since the stated goal of the modern American Liberals who run DC is to make poor people rich by making rich people poorer how about starting with the 5 mentioned above?
Pass some laws making $50 the total amount they can contribute to their own campaigns. Spouses can give them $100 because they probably want them out of the house. Make them retroactive. In a legislative season that can seriously consider banning secret ballots and undoing private contracts the above should be simple.
Speaking of fat cats who are White, how is your old friend Senator Roland Burris doing? Not since Prince Hal dismissed Fat Jack with “Old man, I know thee not” has a public figure been so publicly peed on. People were getting thrown under the bus before we had buses.
That’s the beauty of modern American Liberals.
They have no shame.
My records indicate it has bee at least two years since I have put you into the Ring of Honor. Therefore I proclaim you
SMARMY BASTARD OF THE YEAR
[EMERITUS]
It’s getting crowded under the Obama bus.
When it comes time for Burris to be looking up at the Michelins – You know, you remind me a little of Bibendum – it may be too crowded what with Daschle, Richardson and all the other tax cheats up front. Throw him under the back of the bus. Do it for old times sake.
Senator Richard Durbin
525 South 8th Street
Springfield, Illinois 62703
RE: Campaign finance reform, yet again
Dear Little Dick,
At the risk of being tarred with the racism brush what about the 800 pound gorilla lurking in the corner? Primate references are OK as long as the target is Caucasian. Since you are a Democrat from Illinois I know that you can appreciate the irony of Abraham Lincoln being called a “baboon” by the Democratic Party and the New York Times.
The 800 pound gorilla I refer is President B. Hussein Obama. Since he rallied the troops to defy the Constitution – Bills of Attainder? Ex post facto? – over AIG and then decided who should be employed by GM I can now change the ‘B’ from Barack to Benito. George Soros spent a lot of money to get people to stuff $20 bills into little white envelopes so as to skip the finance laws in place last year. Why should this be different?
I heard you say that your new law would free up elected politicians to legislate and not have to dirty their hands raising money. About that contention, two things:
#1 – Considering their record for the last 2 years the common weal would be better served with them out of the legislature be it for fund raising, campaigning, non-gender specific canoodling, and proclaiming how chest thumping proud they are of their “non-malodorous fecal matter” status. If they are not in session they can’t pass any laws. #2 – Your focus is on re-electing sitting legislators. How about the guys running against the smarmy bastards who are there?
Senator Dodd and Senator Obama split $205,000 from AIG in 2006. Cui bono? Certainly not the people of this country. Is that what you had in mind?
Senator Kennedy, Senator Kerry, Senator Rockefeller, Senator Kohl, and Senator Feinstein have so God Damn much money that, should I decide to commit suicide, all I need do is jump off their wallets. Other than being members of the Lucky Sperm Club what the Hell did these swells ever do?
Since we now know that the Constitution no longer counts why not have legislation limiting the amount of personal money that can be spent on an election? The present system places poor people, people “unlucky in life’s lottery” and people who are not members of the Lucky Sperm Club, at a disadvantage. Since the stated goal of the modern American Liberals who run DC is to make poor people rich by making rich people poorer how about starting with the 5 mentioned above?
Pass some laws making $50 the total amount they can contribute to their own campaigns. Spouses can give them $100 because they probably want them out of the house. Make them retroactive. In a legislative season that can seriously consider banning secret ballots and undoing private contracts the above should be simple.
Speaking of fat cats who are White, how is your old friend Senator Roland Burris doing? Not since Prince Hal dismissed Fat Jack with “Old man, I know thee not” has a public figure been so publicly peed on. People were getting thrown under the bus before we had buses.
That’s the beauty of modern American Liberals.
They have no shame.
My records indicate it has bee at least two years since I have put you into the Ring of Honor. Therefore I proclaim you
SMARMY BASTARD OF THE YEAR
[EMERITUS]
It’s getting crowded under the Obama bus.
When it comes time for Burris to be looking up at the Michelins – You know, you remind me a little of Bibendum – it may be too crowded what with Daschle, Richardson and all the other tax cheats up front. Throw him under the back of the bus. Do it for old times sake.
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