Posts
August 31, 2013
Ben Woolford
The Sun Sentinel
500 E. Broward Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33316
RE: Watch your language lest “Trousered Apes” overrun the citadel – Some comments on your Sun Sentinel Page 1 story headlined “A Day of Double Tragedy at the Zoo”.
Mr. Woolford,
Pray tell but if the deaths of a very large rat and a top of the line predator are “tragic” how would you describe the coming Cruise missile strike on Syria [Page 2], 6 dead in Egypt [Page 7A], Suicide bomber kills 8 [Page 7A], the Battle of Waterloo [Page 18A] and a veteran’s suicide [Page 20A] in the same Sun Sentinel?
Missy the rat and Osceola the wannabe man-eater were animals.
Man is the only animal that knows it is going to die. It is one of the hallmarks of extramental existence. Missy and Osceola, however cute and engaging for a rodent and a 4 legged, hugely fanged, carnivorous predator, did not know that.
While your use of “tragedy” is not “tragic” it is a sloppy use of language that should not have escaped your editor’s supposedly gimlet eye
Journalists should be like the Spartan hoplites at Thermopylae. They are our first and last defense against the culture busting onslaught of the unsmiling barbarians at the gate.
Antigone was a tragedy.
King Lear was a tragedy.
The Obama administration is roaring past tragedy, careening towards farce, at warp speed.
Missy and Osceola were not members of the House of Atreus. They are dead; they are gone; they are not in animal heaven.
Kevin Smith
Saturday, August 31, 2013
August 31, 2013
Gail Collins
The New York Times
620 8th Avenue
New York, New York 10018
RE: Billie Jean King, Bobbie Riggs, “the dream will never die”, and a primer on the rose colored corneal implants worn by modern American Liberals.
Ms. Collins,
If, as you say, “the King-Riggs match was a central victory in the history of the American women’s movement”, what Olympian heights would you have had to climb to describe the achievement if Ms. King, having gotten to Riggs’s age when he played her,
had played the then current men’s champion, a man whose name I chose not to remember?
Why do men still play 5 sets while the chicks only play 3? What’s so “fair” about that?
Indeed, it would be a seminal moment if the separate gender winners at the U.S. Open were to play each other – 3 sets or 5? Toss a coin or let them arm wrestle – for their combined purses.
My enthusiasm for tennis ended when no one – opponent, judge, spectator – gave John McEnroe a Texas-sized ass whipping when he was having one of his hissy fits.
Would the male winner have to play with one snow shoe to make it “fair”? Speaking of “fairness”, by the time she got to be Riggs’s age she was hauling around a double-wide keister. [that’s a creepy assed cracker code word for a really, I mean a really, really big fat ass.] She and Oliver Hardy could exchange tennis shorts. Maybe the guy would have to wear the snowshoe backwards.
Double fault.
My serve.
Kevin Smith
Gail Collins
The New York Times
620 8th Avenue
New York, New York 10018
RE: Billie Jean King, Bobbie Riggs, “the dream will never die”, and a primer on the rose colored corneal implants worn by modern American Liberals.
Ms. Collins,
If, as you say, “the King-Riggs match was a central victory in the history of the American women’s movement”, what Olympian heights would you have had to climb to describe the achievement if Ms. King, having gotten to Riggs’s age when he played her,
had played the then current men’s champion, a man whose name I chose not to remember?
Why do men still play 5 sets while the chicks only play 3? What’s so “fair” about that?
Indeed, it would be a seminal moment if the separate gender winners at the U.S. Open were to play each other – 3 sets or 5? Toss a coin or let them arm wrestle – for their combined purses.
My enthusiasm for tennis ended when no one – opponent, judge, spectator – gave John McEnroe a Texas-sized ass whipping when he was having one of his hissy fits.
Would the male winner have to play with one snow shoe to make it “fair”? Speaking of “fairness”, by the time she got to be Riggs’s age she was hauling around a double-wide keister. [that’s a creepy assed cracker code word for a really, I mean a really, really big fat ass.] She and Oliver Hardy could exchange tennis shorts. Maybe the guy would have to wear the snowshoe backwards.
Double fault.
My serve.
Kevin Smith
August 31, 2013
Albert Hunt
Bloomberg News
1399 New York Avenue
Washington, DC 20005
RE: Free speech is like being pregnant. There is no middle ground. Yes or No. No maybes.
Mr. Hunt,
If, as you say, “the money unleashed by Citizens United and other decisions contributed to the ugly tone of last year’s campaign”, could you hazard a guess as to what caused the campaigns of 1800 and 1828 to still be the dirtiest in American History? That they got their laurels the old fashioned way – they earned them - before electricity is a stirring testament to American exceptionalism.
In 1864 the Democratic Party and its house organ even then, the New York Times, referred to President Lincoln as a “baboon”. Was there a still undiscovered Koch Brothers mean spirited money machine working then?
Last week Pascal Robert, a Democrat spokesman, said that Dana Loesch, a Conservative radio talk show hostess, should be anally sodomized by a Black man. Is this a result of the Citizens United decision empowering the Tea Party?
Speaking of an excess of money, why are you opposed to George Soros spending his money the way that he sees fit? At least he doesn’t borrow it from the Chinese.
Which part of “Congress shall make no law…” are you having a problem with? Send a SASE.
Kevin Smith
August 29, 2013
Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
192000 West Country Club Drive
Aventura, FL 33180
Re: Let the punishment fit the crime
My dear Congresswoman,
When you were on the Michael Putney TV Show Sunday last you bemoaned the lack of civility in American politics. You, in predictable modern American Liberal solipsistic fashion, gave some examples of your out-reaching, aisle-crossing attempts to bring the voice of the turtle back to the land.
You sent the police after me a few years ago because of something I wrote. It was never made clear by the investigating officers, Agent Thomas and Agent Mineva of the Florida Department of Law Enforcement and yes, they both had badges and guns, what it was that caused you to send them.
Besides, as Queen Empress Hillary the Last, your guide through troubled times, is fond of saying ”What difference does it make. Who cares? Nothing here. Move on.”
Since I wasn’t arrested and since you didn’t sue me I have to believe that what I had written passed official police muster. I shant mention Quis custodies custodiet? You have enough on your plate without getting bogged down in an elitist language.
Huffington Post contributor Pascal Robert wrote to Conservative radio talk show host Dana Loesch “I know you would look lovely with thigh high stockings and a mask and would love to have a brother give it to you up the ass”.
Is this opening salvo of the Democratic war on women? Didn’t Democrats say that they wanted Sarah Palin and her daughter gang raped? It’s the same war that Governor Spitzer, Congressman Weiner, and Mayor Filner have volunteered to be in the first phalanx, thrusting, spear carrying sexual Hoplites, if you will.
It seems to me that, despite the modern American Liberal ca-ca about feminism, rape is just another form of Democratic Party sophistry. It’s not a hate crime it they right people are hated, right? If you don’t agree, say so. Remember, qui tacet consentire.
If you sent police to my house because I said that modern American Liberal policy was offensive to Logic, ignorant of History, and is predicated on repealing all the laws governing gravity I can only wonder what you would have done had I said the above, the one about doing it doggie style, to you.
On the other hand, the sight of you in thigh high stockings carrying a copy of Obamacare, the one that soon will cover all 57 or 58 states, proclaiming that Bush was Hitler for bombing some thuggish WOGs while Obama will be St. Francis of Assisi should he send some cruise missiles intro a wadi filled with goats.
It may be that we need some Nat Turner/Paul Robeson moments to begin to pay for our sins in the matter of Trayvon Martin.
We have been fighting – rather unsuccessfully, I might add – the War on Poverty since 1964. 50 years. Reagan beat the Russkies in 8.
Maybe it’s time for a 50 year War on Women like Democratic Party spokesman Pascal Robert says. The difference here is that each assault will have a clearly defined exit strategy
I am going out of town for a few days.
Call ahead before you send Seal Team 6.
Kevin Smith
Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
192000 West Country Club Drive
Aventura, FL 33180
Re: Let the punishment fit the crime
My dear Congresswoman,
When you were on the Michael Putney TV Show Sunday last you bemoaned the lack of civility in American politics. You, in predictable modern American Liberal solipsistic fashion, gave some examples of your out-reaching, aisle-crossing attempts to bring the voice of the turtle back to the land.
You sent the police after me a few years ago because of something I wrote. It was never made clear by the investigating officers, Agent Thomas and Agent Mineva of the Florida Department of Law Enforcement and yes, they both had badges and guns, what it was that caused you to send them.
Besides, as Queen Empress Hillary the Last, your guide through troubled times, is fond of saying ”What difference does it make. Who cares? Nothing here. Move on.”
Since I wasn’t arrested and since you didn’t sue me I have to believe that what I had written passed official police muster. I shant mention Quis custodies custodiet? You have enough on your plate without getting bogged down in an elitist language.
Huffington Post contributor Pascal Robert wrote to Conservative radio talk show host Dana Loesch “I know you would look lovely with thigh high stockings and a mask and would love to have a brother give it to you up the ass”.
Is this opening salvo of the Democratic war on women? Didn’t Democrats say that they wanted Sarah Palin and her daughter gang raped? It’s the same war that Governor Spitzer, Congressman Weiner, and Mayor Filner have volunteered to be in the first phalanx, thrusting, spear carrying sexual Hoplites, if you will.
It seems to me that, despite the modern American Liberal ca-ca about feminism, rape is just another form of Democratic Party sophistry. It’s not a hate crime it they right people are hated, right? If you don’t agree, say so. Remember, qui tacet consentire.
If you sent police to my house because I said that modern American Liberal policy was offensive to Logic, ignorant of History, and is predicated on repealing all the laws governing gravity I can only wonder what you would have done had I said the above, the one about doing it doggie style, to you.
On the other hand, the sight of you in thigh high stockings carrying a copy of Obamacare, the one that soon will cover all 57 or 58 states, proclaiming that Bush was Hitler for bombing some thuggish WOGs while Obama will be St. Francis of Assisi should he send some cruise missiles intro a wadi filled with goats.
It may be that we need some Nat Turner/Paul Robeson moments to begin to pay for our sins in the matter of Trayvon Martin.
We have been fighting – rather unsuccessfully, I might add – the War on Poverty since 1964. 50 years. Reagan beat the Russkies in 8.
Maybe it’s time for a 50 year War on Women like Democratic Party spokesman Pascal Robert says. The difference here is that each assault will have a clearly defined exit strategy
I am going out of town for a few days.
Call ahead before you send Seal Team 6.
Kevin Smith
Thursday, August 29, 2013
August 28, 2013
Letter to the Editor
The Spokesman-Review
P.O .Box 2160
Spokane, WA 99201
Sirs,
I would like to think Delbert “Shorty” Belton, the 89 year old Purple Heart winner who was beaten to death by 3 teenage punks, served on Okinawa with my wife Amy’s uncle, Corporal Leonard Putnam.
For 16 years I have sent out reminders of him every May 25th. He and Aunt Millie had no children. Even though the “whole earth is sepulcher of famous men” my annual notices keep his name alive.
The Presidential citation reads “he died in the Pacific area on May 25th, 1945”. Further, it says “he lives in a way that humbles the undertakings of most men”.
Corporal Putnam was a 41 year old piano salesman from Jersey City, New Jersey, serving on Okinawa.. A Japanese mortar shell blew away his upper right torso. He was dead before he could blink.
Shorty Belton, another Purple Heart winner, did not have the luxury of a quick, clean soldier’s death. 3 feral thugs beat him and stomped him. There is some indication that he fought back. They then finished the task.
What with today’s logistics, a word that had never been heard in 1945, I suppose I could find out if he served in the same platoon as Corporal Putnam. I shant.
Why not imagine that on some mess line on Okinawa he was the “kid” and Corporal Putnam was the “old man”? Who is to say that they didn’t eat the same dirt on more than one occasion? Maybe had a smoke and told lies to each other, as men do.
Suffice to say that after 68 years, 2 warriors have come to the same place. Both have now come home, on their shields, honorably, as all warriors should.
“How are you doing, kid? I hope you had a good life.”
Kevin Smith
Letter to the Editor
The Spokesman-Review
P.O .Box 2160
Spokane, WA 99201
Sirs,
I would like to think Delbert “Shorty” Belton, the 89 year old Purple Heart winner who was beaten to death by 3 teenage punks, served on Okinawa with my wife Amy’s uncle, Corporal Leonard Putnam.
For 16 years I have sent out reminders of him every May 25th. He and Aunt Millie had no children. Even though the “whole earth is sepulcher of famous men” my annual notices keep his name alive.
The Presidential citation reads “he died in the Pacific area on May 25th, 1945”. Further, it says “he lives in a way that humbles the undertakings of most men”.
Corporal Putnam was a 41 year old piano salesman from Jersey City, New Jersey, serving on Okinawa.. A Japanese mortar shell blew away his upper right torso. He was dead before he could blink.
Shorty Belton, another Purple Heart winner, did not have the luxury of a quick, clean soldier’s death. 3 feral thugs beat him and stomped him. There is some indication that he fought back. They then finished the task.
What with today’s logistics, a word that had never been heard in 1945, I suppose I could find out if he served in the same platoon as Corporal Putnam. I shant.
Why not imagine that on some mess line on Okinawa he was the “kid” and Corporal Putnam was the “old man”? Who is to say that they didn’t eat the same dirt on more than one occasion? Maybe had a smoke and told lies to each other, as men do.
Suffice to say that after 68 years, 2 warriors have come to the same place. Both have now come home, on their shields, honorably, as all warriors should.
“How are you doing, kid? I hope you had a good life.”
Kevin Smith
August 27, 2013
Secretary J. Forbes Kerry
Department of State
2201 C Street NW
Washington, DC 20520
RE: Watch your language and you may have to order new shirts
Mr. Secretary,
“Moral obscenity”? As opposed to “immoral obscenity” or “amoral obscenity”? The mind boggles at the thought of “pre-moral obscenity” or, worse, “post-moral obscenity”.
It’s bad enough that we have to watch these thuggish WOGs butcher each other on the evening news but you make it worse – a damned difficult thing – by butchering the English language. I am begging you to stop it.
One other thing.
The silly putty you had injected into your forehead to support the enormous weight of your magnificent hair appears to be moving. Alas, it appears to be moving down. Did you like Porky Pig when you were a kid? If you have to ask why I say that take a peek in a mirror.
If it falls any more it will register on the Richter scale.
You would be well advised to keep your $6,000,000 yacht – the one you had built in New Zealand because New England wage rates were too high, the one you registered in Rhode Island because Massachusetts tax rates were too high, that one – in dry dock.
Should you be on the foc’sle supervising the flogging of the cook for leaving the edges on the toast and you fall overboard when your face falls it could trigger a tsunami that could take out Boston. [Who says nothing good can come from a bad situation?]
On the other hand, if your face continues to fall you will wind up with more chins than a Chinese phone book.
Now that would be obscene.
My best to Tereza, your mad cap Gypsy lady wife. I hope she is feeling better.
Kevin Smith
PS – My favorite memory of the 2004 campaign was when you dressed up in the giant pink bunny suit. I hear a rumor that you will reprise your role next Easter at the White House. Pray God that it is true
Secretary J. Forbes Kerry
Department of State
2201 C Street NW
Washington, DC 20520
RE: Watch your language and you may have to order new shirts
Mr. Secretary,
“Moral obscenity”? As opposed to “immoral obscenity” or “amoral obscenity”? The mind boggles at the thought of “pre-moral obscenity” or, worse, “post-moral obscenity”.
It’s bad enough that we have to watch these thuggish WOGs butcher each other on the evening news but you make it worse – a damned difficult thing – by butchering the English language. I am begging you to stop it.
One other thing.
The silly putty you had injected into your forehead to support the enormous weight of your magnificent hair appears to be moving. Alas, it appears to be moving down. Did you like Porky Pig when you were a kid? If you have to ask why I say that take a peek in a mirror.
If it falls any more it will register on the Richter scale.
You would be well advised to keep your $6,000,000 yacht – the one you had built in New Zealand because New England wage rates were too high, the one you registered in Rhode Island because Massachusetts tax rates were too high, that one – in dry dock.
Should you be on the foc’sle supervising the flogging of the cook for leaving the edges on the toast and you fall overboard when your face falls it could trigger a tsunami that could take out Boston. [Who says nothing good can come from a bad situation?]
On the other hand, if your face continues to fall you will wind up with more chins than a Chinese phone book.
Now that would be obscene.
My best to Tereza, your mad cap Gypsy lady wife. I hope she is feeling better.
Kevin Smith
PS – My favorite memory of the 2004 campaign was when you dressed up in the giant pink bunny suit. I hear a rumor that you will reprise your role next Easter at the White House. Pray God that it is true
August 27, 2013
Robert Runcie – Superintendent
600 SE 3rd Avenue
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: Coach Gondlfo, how it could have been worse, and a teachable moment.
Superintendent Runcie,
Let us be thankful for small blessings.
Thank God that the QB who was slapped on national TV wasn’t African-American. Al Sharpton would have been here by noon today with a 3 foot wide people shredder. The only option was whether the Coach went in head first or feet first.
As to the teachable moment…
You have the unimpeded power to prevent an employee from earning a living. The terms due process and judicial review are not mentioned. Since you have this power I suggest you use it for safety’s sake in football. It’s simple.
Ban the use of facemasks in all high school football games in Broward County.
Trust me when I tell you that there will be a precipitous drop in helmet to helmet contact. With that will come a precipitous drop in concussions and neck injuries.
Issue a ukase proclaiming the banning of helmets. While you are at it toss in lacrosse. As violent as football can be at least the players are not going after each other with cudgels.
You have the nation’s attention.
Use your 15 minutes wisely and well.
And thank God the QB was Caucasian.
Kevin Smith
Robert Runcie – Superintendent
600 SE 3rd Avenue
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: Coach Gondlfo, how it could have been worse, and a teachable moment.
Superintendent Runcie,
Let us be thankful for small blessings.
Thank God that the QB who was slapped on national TV wasn’t African-American. Al Sharpton would have been here by noon today with a 3 foot wide people shredder. The only option was whether the Coach went in head first or feet first.
As to the teachable moment…
You have the unimpeded power to prevent an employee from earning a living. The terms due process and judicial review are not mentioned. Since you have this power I suggest you use it for safety’s sake in football. It’s simple.
Ban the use of facemasks in all high school football games in Broward County.
Trust me when I tell you that there will be a precipitous drop in helmet to helmet contact. With that will come a precipitous drop in concussions and neck injuries.
Issue a ukase proclaiming the banning of helmets. While you are at it toss in lacrosse. As violent as football can be at least the players are not going after each other with cudgels.
You have the nation’s attention.
Use your 15 minutes wisely and well.
And thank God the QB was Caucasian.
Kevin Smith
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
August 26, 2013
Marc Caputo
The Miami Herald
RE Sticks & Stones or is Debbie Wasserman-Schultz really an “unamiable dunce”? Some comments on your column in today’s Herald about civility and the absence of same in American politics.
Mr. Caputo,
Your lack of knowledge about the rough and tumble world of American politics is clear.
Start with the campaigns of 1800 and 1828 – the two dirtiest campaigns in American History. That they earned their laurels before electricity is a testament to American exceptionalism.
It is an inconvenient truth, one that modern American Liberals are always ready to shove down their convenient memory hole, that the Democratic Party and its dead tree shill, the New York Times called Abraham Lincoln a “baboon”. That’s Lincoln, as in President Lincoln. He was in charge of the war to end slavery. That’s the war that neither the Democratic Party nor the New York Times supported.
It is in the nature of a free people to speak with sharp elbows, particularly in political campaigns.
I have been particularly critical of Little Debbie since her days in the Florida legislature. I have and will continue to call her many names, “dunce” not being one of them.
For someone who claims to have 2 degrees, including a Master’s, in Political Science from the University of Florida, her lack of knowledge of the History of free speech, particularly political speech, is appalling.
Beginning in the agora, continuing into the forum, strengthened at Runnymede, nutured in 1688, bursting forth in 1787, speech has always been the most fragile of our freedoms. It is Important to note that these freedoms are ours at birth, “gifts from beyond the stars”. These rights are not granted by any government. Governments can either restrict or codify them. They cannot “bestow” them.
Debbie the dunce? No.
Debbie the fascist thug? Maybe.
Debbie the thin skinned whiner? Absolutely.
Debbie the meaner than cat shit hissing Hecate? Of course. That’s Debbie.
Why else would she send the coppers, men with badges and guns, after me for something I wrote?
On the morning of September 18, 2001 2 members of the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, Agent Thomas, AKA “good cop” and Agent Mineva, AKA “bad cop”, came to my house to question me about things I had written about Debbie Debbie.
My first thoughts were “chilling effect” followed quickly be “slippery slope”.
If I had said something threatening I would have been arrested. If I had said something actionable I would have been sued. Since neither happened the only conclusion left is that she suffers from “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”, a disease commonly found in shrill modern American Liberals.
“I know what I can do”, she said. “I’ll send the cops after him. That will shut him up.”
It didn’t.
Nat Hentoff, with one glaring exception, is as modern an American Liberal as one can be. He wrote a book called “Free Speech For Me But Not For Me”.
Debbie validates the title every day.
2 years ago, true to her essential “jackboot, brown shirt” nature, she introduced a resolution on the floor of the House banning the term “Obamacare” as hate speech The first response of a card carrying modern American Liberal is to restrict someone else’s rights. 8 days ago, on the Michael Putney TV show, she called the Affordable Health Care Act “Obamacare”.
It took less than 2 years for “Obamacare” to become an acceptable, indeed appreciated and admirable word for this Rube Goldberg nightmare Even the President uses it. [May I add that I think President Obama is the best President we have? I can? Good.] 149 years after her predecessors called Lincoln a “baboon” the stench remains.
Was that the original “code word”?
Would it be a “personal attack” on her if I were to ask for a bit of sunshine to be cast on her personal finances? Her husband is an employee, shareholder, and member of the Board of Directors of Community National Bank. Debbie co-sponsored legislation that directly benefitted the bank, her husband and her family. Even if she files an individual tax return she still benefited from it.
It may not have been illegal but, by God, it isn’t right, either then or now
.
Can we add “politics” to “love and war” when saying what is or isn’t “fair”?
Who knows what’s at the end of the feared “slippery slope”. Probably more than a “chilling effect”.
Let every voice be heard.
Even the ones we don’t like.
Particularly the ones we don’t like.
KEVIN SMITH
Marc Caputo
The Miami Herald
RE Sticks & Stones or is Debbie Wasserman-Schultz really an “unamiable dunce”? Some comments on your column in today’s Herald about civility and the absence of same in American politics.
Mr. Caputo,
Your lack of knowledge about the rough and tumble world of American politics is clear.
Start with the campaigns of 1800 and 1828 – the two dirtiest campaigns in American History. That they earned their laurels before electricity is a testament to American exceptionalism.
It is an inconvenient truth, one that modern American Liberals are always ready to shove down their convenient memory hole, that the Democratic Party and its dead tree shill, the New York Times called Abraham Lincoln a “baboon”. That’s Lincoln, as in President Lincoln. He was in charge of the war to end slavery. That’s the war that neither the Democratic Party nor the New York Times supported.
It is in the nature of a free people to speak with sharp elbows, particularly in political campaigns.
I have been particularly critical of Little Debbie since her days in the Florida legislature. I have and will continue to call her many names, “dunce” not being one of them.
For someone who claims to have 2 degrees, including a Master’s, in Political Science from the University of Florida, her lack of knowledge of the History of free speech, particularly political speech, is appalling.
Beginning in the agora, continuing into the forum, strengthened at Runnymede, nutured in 1688, bursting forth in 1787, speech has always been the most fragile of our freedoms. It is Important to note that these freedoms are ours at birth, “gifts from beyond the stars”. These rights are not granted by any government. Governments can either restrict or codify them. They cannot “bestow” them.
Debbie the dunce? No.
Debbie the fascist thug? Maybe.
Debbie the thin skinned whiner? Absolutely.
Debbie the meaner than cat shit hissing Hecate? Of course. That’s Debbie.
Why else would she send the coppers, men with badges and guns, after me for something I wrote?
On the morning of September 18, 2001 2 members of the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, Agent Thomas, AKA “good cop” and Agent Mineva, AKA “bad cop”, came to my house to question me about things I had written about Debbie Debbie.
My first thoughts were “chilling effect” followed quickly be “slippery slope”.
If I had said something threatening I would have been arrested. If I had said something actionable I would have been sued. Since neither happened the only conclusion left is that she suffers from “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”, a disease commonly found in shrill modern American Liberals.
“I know what I can do”, she said. “I’ll send the cops after him. That will shut him up.”
It didn’t.
Nat Hentoff, with one glaring exception, is as modern an American Liberal as one can be. He wrote a book called “Free Speech For Me But Not For Me”.
Debbie validates the title every day.
2 years ago, true to her essential “jackboot, brown shirt” nature, she introduced a resolution on the floor of the House banning the term “Obamacare” as hate speech The first response of a card carrying modern American Liberal is to restrict someone else’s rights. 8 days ago, on the Michael Putney TV show, she called the Affordable Health Care Act “Obamacare”.
It took less than 2 years for “Obamacare” to become an acceptable, indeed appreciated and admirable word for this Rube Goldberg nightmare Even the President uses it. [May I add that I think President Obama is the best President we have? I can? Good.] 149 years after her predecessors called Lincoln a “baboon” the stench remains.
Was that the original “code word”?
Would it be a “personal attack” on her if I were to ask for a bit of sunshine to be cast on her personal finances? Her husband is an employee, shareholder, and member of the Board of Directors of Community National Bank. Debbie co-sponsored legislation that directly benefitted the bank, her husband and her family. Even if she files an individual tax return she still benefited from it.
It may not have been illegal but, by God, it isn’t right, either then or now
.
Can we add “politics” to “love and war” when saying what is or isn’t “fair”?
Who knows what’s at the end of the feared “slippery slope”. Probably more than a “chilling effect”.
Let every voice be heard.
Even the ones we don’t like.
Particularly the ones we don’t like.
KEVIN SMITH
August 26, 2013
Robert Runcie
Superintendent of Schools – Broward County
600 SE 3rd Avenue
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: It ain’t the chess club – Some comments on the nationally televised de minimis slapping of a Cypress Bay quarterback on his helmeted head by his Coach, Mark Gondolfo, and your reaction to same.
Mr. Runcie,
I met a NFL player 4 years into his 7 year career. He appears from time to time as a color commentator on ESPN. The latter is indoor work with no heavy lifting. The former was not.
He told me that if his high school coach had not given him a beating when he was a sophomore he would not have –A- gone to college where he – B- earned 4 varsity letters and – C - been part of a NCAA championship team and – D- earned his degree from a major university and –E- been paid a King’s ransom for what he had been doing for free most of his life. He is still paid for saying things like “He missed his block” or “Turnovers will kill you” or “He didn’t square his shoulders before he threw into double coverage”. Unless he trips over the mike wires his anterior cruciate ligaments are safe.
And to think it all began with a beating.
I have known a number of successful high school coaches, 2 of whom can be considered legendary. Beyond winning a huge majority of the games they coached they have one other thing in common. They love the kids they coach.
Discipline, triumph, dedication, disaster, exultation, a willing surrender of ego, suck it up, “60 seconds worth of distance run”…Not a bad preparation for life.
The only thing that counts is what his players, past and present, say. I daresay that by the end of the week you will have scores of lettermen from the 5 schools where he coached telling you that he was the most important man in their lives.
One of the most important lessons to be learned from football is that there are rules. 4 downs for 10 yards or you lose the ball. Don’t move before the ball is snapped. Don’t grab the other guy’s face mask. Play all out until the whistle. Leave it all on the field. “The Boys of Fall” tells us of life’s lessons.
One of the unintended consequences of high school football is the socialization of teen age males. “Ain’t a horse be ridden, ain’t a rider can’t be throwed” is as important a lesson as a 17 year old kid can learn.
As a big fan of civilization I prefer order to chaos.
A good football coach, even if unintentionally, coaches that.
Your suspension of him, while politically correct in today’s atmosphere of “All games should end in scoreless ties”, is unjust.
Ask his kids.
Ask the men they have become..
Kevin Smith
Robert Runcie
Superintendent of Schools – Broward County
600 SE 3rd Avenue
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: It ain’t the chess club – Some comments on the nationally televised de minimis slapping of a Cypress Bay quarterback on his helmeted head by his Coach, Mark Gondolfo, and your reaction to same.
Mr. Runcie,
I met a NFL player 4 years into his 7 year career. He appears from time to time as a color commentator on ESPN. The latter is indoor work with no heavy lifting. The former was not.
He told me that if his high school coach had not given him a beating when he was a sophomore he would not have –A- gone to college where he – B- earned 4 varsity letters and – C - been part of a NCAA championship team and – D- earned his degree from a major university and –E- been paid a King’s ransom for what he had been doing for free most of his life. He is still paid for saying things like “He missed his block” or “Turnovers will kill you” or “He didn’t square his shoulders before he threw into double coverage”. Unless he trips over the mike wires his anterior cruciate ligaments are safe.
And to think it all began with a beating.
I have known a number of successful high school coaches, 2 of whom can be considered legendary. Beyond winning a huge majority of the games they coached they have one other thing in common. They love the kids they coach.
Discipline, triumph, dedication, disaster, exultation, a willing surrender of ego, suck it up, “60 seconds worth of distance run”…Not a bad preparation for life.
The only thing that counts is what his players, past and present, say. I daresay that by the end of the week you will have scores of lettermen from the 5 schools where he coached telling you that he was the most important man in their lives.
One of the most important lessons to be learned from football is that there are rules. 4 downs for 10 yards or you lose the ball. Don’t move before the ball is snapped. Don’t grab the other guy’s face mask. Play all out until the whistle. Leave it all on the field. “The Boys of Fall” tells us of life’s lessons.
One of the unintended consequences of high school football is the socialization of teen age males. “Ain’t a horse be ridden, ain’t a rider can’t be throwed” is as important a lesson as a 17 year old kid can learn.
As a big fan of civilization I prefer order to chaos.
A good football coach, even if unintentionally, coaches that.
Your suspension of him, while politically correct in today’s atmosphere of “All games should end in scoreless ties”, is unjust.
Ask his kids.
Ask the men they have become..
Kevin Smith
Thursday, August 22, 2013
August 19, 2013
Edward Wasserman
The Miami Herald
3511 NW 91st Street
Miami, FL 33172
RE: “Will Press Power Survive the Age of Amazon”? – Some comments on your op-ed in today’s Miami Herald, an answer given by asking the question.
Mr. Wasserman,
Kidney stones. Shingles. Neuralgia. Another kidney stone. A-Fib, COPD & yes, I have both. 3 titanium joints Still more kidney stones. Being on a 2 man submarine with Hillary Clinton. Being handcuffed to former Vice President Alpha Gump. Listening to Jimmy Carter read the 1980 Democratic platform. Gift card from the proctologist.
When I finished your op-ed in today’s Herald I searched for things it reminded me of. I find it hard to pin-point because when I look at your picture and re-read your column I ask “When was the last time this friggin’ layabout swell wiped his own ass”?
Jeff Bezos & Amazon purchase the Washington Post and you think that the Koch Brothers potential purchase of the Tribune papers is troubling because of their “ideology”? God’s Holy Trousers but that is Guinness Book dumb.
Despite offering prescription drugs for $4 a month that a month previous had cost $42, Wal-Mart is hated by modern American Liberals because, inter alia, it forced Mom & Pop drug stores out of business. That a single mom, usually a woman of color, with a teenager in need of a good Ritalin program and an expansion of Midnight Basketball, benefitted disproportionately from this goes down the modern American Liberal memory hole.
And I might add that for every monopolistic, licensed to steal, Mom & Pop drug store that Wal-Mart re-introduced to gravity how many Mom & Pop book stores did Amazon do in?
Do you think if Hillary Clinton had stayed on as an outside Director of Wal-Mart that she could have stopped the commercial carnage caused by lower prices? By the by, do you think she would gotten that job if had just been a part time canoodler of Handsome Billy from Hot Springs and not his wife?
“But what will that sophistication mean?” is how you begin a paragraph. If I were to do that in the 7th grade of St. Mary’s grammar school in Bayonne, my teacher, Sister Joseph Dolores, SSJ, AKA “Hawkeye”, would have beaten me senseless. If I had complained to my father, the legendary Judge Smith, he would have completed her task.
We can stipulate that one of the reasons the newspaper business is embracing the China Goddess like a lamprey eel on a peripatetic pike is because people in the newspaper business, people like you, take it as a personal insult when they are reminded, reminded most forcefully, that “water is wet and stones are hard”.
Things like making enough money to pay their employees.
Things like realizing that contingent liabilities quickly become real liabilities.
Things like finding out that if no profit is possible the risk is obvious.
Things like if you insult the people who buy your paper they will stop buying it.
How about a new Woodstein investigation of whether or not Katherine Graham arranged for her half a bubble off plumb husband to get a weekend pass from the hatch he was a bobby in knowing that he would kill himself?
Former Speaker Foley began an investigation into whether George Bush snuck off to Paris in a Blackbird – SR71 – to put the fix in for Reagan in 1980 against clod Carter. He said the reason why he did it was because there was no evidence that it didn’t happen. Stretch it out for a few days. Get Dan Rather’s producer to dummy up some documents. Boffo box office.
Wasn’t there an Onion headline proclaiming
WORLD ENDS TODAY
WOMEN & MINORITIES SUFFER DISPROPORTIONATELY
Here’s a revolting thought.
The product as is sucked, sucks, and will suck.
Maybe every Croesus family in Christendom will not be able to put Humpty dumpty back together again.
There is an important lesson to be learned here.
Get someone to take you to Costco.
Whatever else they do they make the best toilet paper, bathroom tissue being for gender confused wanabee girly men, in the world.
Try it. You might like it.
If the New York Post could survive the Schiff family the Tribune papers will survive the Koch Brothers.
Hearst, McCormick, Sulzberger, Graham – All arguments in favor of a 105% inheritance tax.
I think some worry should be directed at the Sheikh of Araby and his puppet Ally Jazeery starting their own media outlets.
Do you suppose they will feature gay rights articles? Will they have a regular feature on “Some of my best friends are Jews”. How about pork recipes? Do you think their first day will announce a contest for the best Mohammed cartoon? Will they show live beheadings?
Forget about Stop & Frisk. How about Stop & Flog?
I close with some good news.
Your picture will now be on the recruiting poster for 2 exclusive adult awards
POMPOUS FART OF THE MONTH
SMARMY BASTARD OF THE YEAR
Kevin Smith
Edward Wasserman
The Miami Herald
3511 NW 91st Street
Miami, FL 33172
RE: “Will Press Power Survive the Age of Amazon”? – Some comments on your op-ed in today’s Miami Herald, an answer given by asking the question.
Mr. Wasserman,
Kidney stones. Shingles. Neuralgia. Another kidney stone. A-Fib, COPD & yes, I have both. 3 titanium joints Still more kidney stones. Being on a 2 man submarine with Hillary Clinton. Being handcuffed to former Vice President Alpha Gump. Listening to Jimmy Carter read the 1980 Democratic platform. Gift card from the proctologist.
When I finished your op-ed in today’s Herald I searched for things it reminded me of. I find it hard to pin-point because when I look at your picture and re-read your column I ask “When was the last time this friggin’ layabout swell wiped his own ass”?
Jeff Bezos & Amazon purchase the Washington Post and you think that the Koch Brothers potential purchase of the Tribune papers is troubling because of their “ideology”? God’s Holy Trousers but that is Guinness Book dumb.
Despite offering prescription drugs for $4 a month that a month previous had cost $42, Wal-Mart is hated by modern American Liberals because, inter alia, it forced Mom & Pop drug stores out of business. That a single mom, usually a woman of color, with a teenager in need of a good Ritalin program and an expansion of Midnight Basketball, benefitted disproportionately from this goes down the modern American Liberal memory hole.
And I might add that for every monopolistic, licensed to steal, Mom & Pop drug store that Wal-Mart re-introduced to gravity how many Mom & Pop book stores did Amazon do in?
Do you think if Hillary Clinton had stayed on as an outside Director of Wal-Mart that she could have stopped the commercial carnage caused by lower prices? By the by, do you think she would gotten that job if had just been a part time canoodler of Handsome Billy from Hot Springs and not his wife?
“But what will that sophistication mean?” is how you begin a paragraph. If I were to do that in the 7th grade of St. Mary’s grammar school in Bayonne, my teacher, Sister Joseph Dolores, SSJ, AKA “Hawkeye”, would have beaten me senseless. If I had complained to my father, the legendary Judge Smith, he would have completed her task.
We can stipulate that one of the reasons the newspaper business is embracing the China Goddess like a lamprey eel on a peripatetic pike is because people in the newspaper business, people like you, take it as a personal insult when they are reminded, reminded most forcefully, that “water is wet and stones are hard”.
Things like making enough money to pay their employees.
Things like realizing that contingent liabilities quickly become real liabilities.
Things like finding out that if no profit is possible the risk is obvious.
Things like if you insult the people who buy your paper they will stop buying it.
How about a new Woodstein investigation of whether or not Katherine Graham arranged for her half a bubble off plumb husband to get a weekend pass from the hatch he was a bobby in knowing that he would kill himself?
Former Speaker Foley began an investigation into whether George Bush snuck off to Paris in a Blackbird – SR71 – to put the fix in for Reagan in 1980 against clod Carter. He said the reason why he did it was because there was no evidence that it didn’t happen. Stretch it out for a few days. Get Dan Rather’s producer to dummy up some documents. Boffo box office.
Wasn’t there an Onion headline proclaiming
WORLD ENDS TODAY
WOMEN & MINORITIES SUFFER DISPROPORTIONATELY
Here’s a revolting thought.
The product as is sucked, sucks, and will suck.
Maybe every Croesus family in Christendom will not be able to put Humpty dumpty back together again.
There is an important lesson to be learned here.
Get someone to take you to Costco.
Whatever else they do they make the best toilet paper, bathroom tissue being for gender confused wanabee girly men, in the world.
Try it. You might like it.
If the New York Post could survive the Schiff family the Tribune papers will survive the Koch Brothers.
Hearst, McCormick, Sulzberger, Graham – All arguments in favor of a 105% inheritance tax.
I think some worry should be directed at the Sheikh of Araby and his puppet Ally Jazeery starting their own media outlets.
Do you suppose they will feature gay rights articles? Will they have a regular feature on “Some of my best friends are Jews”. How about pork recipes? Do you think their first day will announce a contest for the best Mohammed cartoon? Will they show live beheadings?
Forget about Stop & Frisk. How about Stop & Flog?
I close with some good news.
Your picture will now be on the recruiting poster for 2 exclusive adult awards
POMPOUS FART OF THE MONTH
SMARMY BASTARD OF THE YEAR
Kevin Smith
Monday, August 19, 2013
August 18, 2013
Tonya Alanez
The Sun Sentinel
500 Broward Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394
RE: Stop the Presses! Belay that. Start the Presses!
Ms. Alanez,
The two men who robbed the priests in Lauderdale Lakes are Black.
Your news story of the 17th mentioned everything but the race of the “alleged perpetrators”. I just saw the video tape. They are Black. What’s more, the driver of the getaway car, another “alleged perpetrator, appears to be Black.
Some questions and observations are now bubbling up.
#1 – What color were the Catholic priests? If they were White could this be a hate crime?
#2 – Should the “alleged perpetrators” be found to be Muslim could that make it a hate crime?
#3 – It appears that one of the “alleged perpetrators” was wearing it a hoody a la Trayvon Martin. He was the lad gunned down by George Zimmerman, a “White Hispanic”. If they acted as vigilantes could that make it a hate crime? Could an “irresistible impulse” be used in the defense of the “alleged perpetrator”?
#4 – The lunacy of apartheid reporting numbs the senses and abrades the soul. Ask the Big 4, the modern American Liberal Murderers’ Row of the Sun Sentinel, Mr. Lyons, Mr. Stein, Mr. Mayo, and Mr. Goldstein for guidance on this delicate matter.
If you couldn’t put the race of the “alleged perpetrators” in the newspaper why could the television station put it on the air?
It’s OK if you are confused. It’s confusing.
When you lie by omission it is made worse. Much worse.
Kevin Smith
PS – 3 Black kids give 1 White kid a beating on a school bus. 2 Black guys mug 2 priests of unknown race. When will Sharpton get here?
Tonya Alanez
The Sun Sentinel
500 Broward Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394
RE: Stop the Presses! Belay that. Start the Presses!
Ms. Alanez,
The two men who robbed the priests in Lauderdale Lakes are Black.
Your news story of the 17th mentioned everything but the race of the “alleged perpetrators”. I just saw the video tape. They are Black. What’s more, the driver of the getaway car, another “alleged perpetrator, appears to be Black.
Some questions and observations are now bubbling up.
#1 – What color were the Catholic priests? If they were White could this be a hate crime?
#2 – Should the “alleged perpetrators” be found to be Muslim could that make it a hate crime?
#3 – It appears that one of the “alleged perpetrators” was wearing it a hoody a la Trayvon Martin. He was the lad gunned down by George Zimmerman, a “White Hispanic”. If they acted as vigilantes could that make it a hate crime? Could an “irresistible impulse” be used in the defense of the “alleged perpetrator”?
#4 – The lunacy of apartheid reporting numbs the senses and abrades the soul. Ask the Big 4, the modern American Liberal Murderers’ Row of the Sun Sentinel, Mr. Lyons, Mr. Stein, Mr. Mayo, and Mr. Goldstein for guidance on this delicate matter.
If you couldn’t put the race of the “alleged perpetrators” in the newspaper why could the television station put it on the air?
It’s OK if you are confused. It’s confusing.
When you lie by omission it is made worse. Much worse.
Kevin Smith
PS – 3 Black kids give 1 White kid a beating on a school bus. 2 Black guys mug 2 priests of unknown race. When will Sharpton get here?
Lysenko & Lud
August 18, 2013
Lysenko & Lud – You can’t have one without the other was today’s pre-dawn stab at the prefect bumper sticker.
Then I read about Terry McAuliffe, a man for whom the term “smarmy bastard” was coined. I immediately thought of Clark Clifford. You may remember him by his moniker “Washington Insider”. Beyond the Potomac that’s a synonym for “fixer”.
When Clifford died, Alva Chapman, Big Boss man at the Miami Herald, eulogized him in a manner most fulsome. Chapman’s extraordinary example of Clifford’s oleaginous “fixing” magic for the Herald was his ability to find the right Judge to overturn a Federal regulatory decision that would have cost the paper, and Chapman, millions of dollars. Joe Six Pack, the idealized blue collar citizen, the Potemkin voter of modern American Liberalism, can always find somebody to put the fix in when the Feds line him up in their crosshairs, right?
But I digress,
Terry McAuliffe was/is the paradigmatic template for all the current and future Kardashians. No one but no one knows what they do. There can be no doubt, none whatsoever, that whatever they do, they do it very well and very lucratively.
One of Clifford’s great career moves was going to college and law school in Missouri.
Craig Livingstone went from being the fetcher of sparkling water, tofu wafers, and domestic whey for the Clinton’92 campaign to being the appointments secretary in the friggin’ White House. One of the highlights in the colorful History of Congressional hearings – think Fast & Furious, Bush’s secret trip to Paris to meet with the Iranians in 1980, Meryl Streep hectoring us on the toxic qualities of Alar, Tea Pot dome, Hiss/Chambers, the half-wit with the dog mask crying about the Cleveland Browns moving to Baltimore, hearings like that, remember? – was Craig Livingstone being cross examined by Congressman Tom Lontos [D-CA]
The early years of Clinton 1 were marked by the dull monotony of B minus scandals. Arson or bestiality was never suspected. Just small peccadilloes that Uncle Screwtape always told his nephew Wormwood would lead to big sins.
Anyway, Congressman Lontos told Craig Livingstone on national TV that his best career move would be to commit suicide. Honest Injun. As Casey Stengel would say, “You could look it up”. There is one constant thing about modern American Liberals: They never let you down.
Clifford’s ticket to the big time was punched when he would cover all of President Truman’s uncovered poker markers. He parlayed that into becoming Secretary of Defense. His helping the Herald became a walkover. It began with the Missouri connection.
Then he wrote his biography.
In it he called President Reagan “an amiable dunce”.
Then he became Chairman of the Board of the Bank of Credit and Commerce International, AKA BCCI. The President of BCCI was married to Wonder Woman. Only an excess of modern American Liberal hubris, hubris that tells you that you are ten feet tall, bulletproof, able to leap tall buildings, and a great singer would prevent you from saying, “Of course I trust you Mom. Cut the cards anyway.”
The only thing that bank didn’t steal was the August humidity. Why do you think Congress gets out of town faster than a used car salesman with one faulty title too many on his charge sheet?
Clifford’s defense of “Elephant? What elephant?” was followed quickly by “I am a moron”.
That got him in front of a Committee under oath.
As a former officer and director of a public company there are certain documents that you must sign. The annual report, the proxy, and the 10K inter alia. I knew, within an odd lot, who the big shareholders were, and how many shares each owned.
Clifford testified that he did not know that the Duke of Earl owned almost 40% of the outstanding common stock. It would be easier to believe that the twenty five story building you own only has one floor and an organic farm on its roof.
Congressman Dick Armey [R-TX] quoted the witness’s description of Reagan as “an amiable dunce”. He asked him how he would characterize his own actions. 3rd graders called to the Principal’s office have looked happier and surer of themselves. “There was no there, there”
Now comes Terry McAuliffe to the arena. Large dollars, important friends, a hazy past indicating something sub rosa – Does the Great Gatsby come to mind? It should.
People with big billfolds like to hang out with pols. They are not necessarily looking for tips to make them more money but they won’t turn one down. They are looking for markers, chits, IOUs of any sort, signed by powerful people.
They become the grease, the magic potion that “speeds the plow”.
Green Tech Auto was created out of whole cloth by McAuliffe. His friends unknowingly helped him. “It’s good to be King”. If you can’t be King it’s good to have your picture taken with the King, particularly if you are asking other of the King;s subjects for money.
McAuliffe was the Chairman of the Board of Green Tech Auto. It was to be a car that would run on ruminant eructations, solar flares, and high tides. Although it is not yet flat line it is circling the drain. Its hoped for breakthroughs in making a universal Hobin pin and a perpetually lubricated gender-free Frammis are not yet ready for prime time.
McAuliffe wants to be Governor of Virginia.
Green Tech Auto will not produce 1,000,000 cars this year.
McAuliffe said “Just because I was the Chairman and the largest stockholder doesn’t mean I know what was going on”.
The prior reference to “Elephant? What elephant”? was from Jimmy Durante. He is tip-toeing out of a circus tent with 15 feet of chain on around the neck of a 10 foot tall elephant. A policeman says, “Where are you going with that elephant”?
“Elephant”? says the great Schnazoola.
“1,000,000 cars”? says McAuliffe.
“What elephant”?
“What 1,000,000 cars”?
McAuliffe says he quietly resigned as Chairman of the Board of Green Tech Auto last December. The resignation of the Chairman of the Board of a public company is done neither quietly, or as he also said, “verbally”. It is a matter most material to any public company. Failure to disclose is considered to be fraudulent on its face. The market can never have too much information. The Securities & Exchange Commission is conducting an investigation. One can only hope that the investigation methods used by the Internal Revenue Service are not those used here.
A possible defense would be that he suffers from terminal “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”.
Clark Clifford, Craig Livingstone, Terry McAuliffe – pushing the edge of the envelope, the one containing American exceptionalism – out there with only “a shoeshine and a smile”.
What a country!
Big Mike was right.
“That’s why you never see anybody swimming to Cuba,
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Lysenko & Lud – You can’t have one without the other was today’s pre-dawn stab at the prefect bumper sticker.
Then I read about Terry McAuliffe, a man for whom the term “smarmy bastard” was coined. I immediately thought of Clark Clifford. You may remember him by his moniker “Washington Insider”. Beyond the Potomac that’s a synonym for “fixer”.
When Clifford died, Alva Chapman, Big Boss man at the Miami Herald, eulogized him in a manner most fulsome. Chapman’s extraordinary example of Clifford’s oleaginous “fixing” magic for the Herald was his ability to find the right Judge to overturn a Federal regulatory decision that would have cost the paper, and Chapman, millions of dollars. Joe Six Pack, the idealized blue collar citizen, the Potemkin voter of modern American Liberalism, can always find somebody to put the fix in when the Feds line him up in their crosshairs, right?
But I digress,
Terry McAuliffe was/is the paradigmatic template for all the current and future Kardashians. No one but no one knows what they do. There can be no doubt, none whatsoever, that whatever they do, they do it very well and very lucratively.
One of Clifford’s great career moves was going to college and law school in Missouri.
Craig Livingstone went from being the fetcher of sparkling water, tofu wafers, and domestic whey for the Clinton’92 campaign to being the appointments secretary in the friggin’ White House. One of the highlights in the colorful History of Congressional hearings – think Fast & Furious, Bush’s secret trip to Paris to meet with the Iranians in 1980, Meryl Streep hectoring us on the toxic qualities of Alar, Tea Pot dome, Hiss/Chambers, the half-wit with the dog mask crying about the Cleveland Browns moving to Baltimore, hearings like that, remember? – was Craig Livingstone being cross examined by Congressman Tom Lontos [D-CA]
The early years of Clinton 1 were marked by the dull monotony of B minus scandals. Arson or bestiality was never suspected. Just small peccadilloes that Uncle Screwtape always told his nephew Wormwood would lead to big sins.
Anyway, Congressman Lontos told Craig Livingstone on national TV that his best career move would be to commit suicide. Honest Injun. As Casey Stengel would say, “You could look it up”. There is one constant thing about modern American Liberals: They never let you down.
Clifford’s ticket to the big time was punched when he would cover all of President Truman’s uncovered poker markers. He parlayed that into becoming Secretary of Defense. His helping the Herald became a walkover. It began with the Missouri connection.
Then he wrote his biography.
In it he called President Reagan “an amiable dunce”.
Then he became Chairman of the Board of the Bank of Credit and Commerce International, AKA BCCI. The President of BCCI was married to Wonder Woman. Only an excess of modern American Liberal hubris, hubris that tells you that you are ten feet tall, bulletproof, able to leap tall buildings, and a great singer would prevent you from saying, “Of course I trust you Mom. Cut the cards anyway.”
The only thing that bank didn’t steal was the August humidity. Why do you think Congress gets out of town faster than a used car salesman with one faulty title too many on his charge sheet?
Clifford’s defense of “Elephant? What elephant?” was followed quickly by “I am a moron”.
That got him in front of a Committee under oath.
As a former officer and director of a public company there are certain documents that you must sign. The annual report, the proxy, and the 10K inter alia. I knew, within an odd lot, who the big shareholders were, and how many shares each owned.
Clifford testified that he did not know that the Duke of Earl owned almost 40% of the outstanding common stock. It would be easier to believe that the twenty five story building you own only has one floor and an organic farm on its roof.
Congressman Dick Armey [R-TX] quoted the witness’s description of Reagan as “an amiable dunce”. He asked him how he would characterize his own actions. 3rd graders called to the Principal’s office have looked happier and surer of themselves. “There was no there, there”
Now comes Terry McAuliffe to the arena. Large dollars, important friends, a hazy past indicating something sub rosa – Does the Great Gatsby come to mind? It should.
People with big billfolds like to hang out with pols. They are not necessarily looking for tips to make them more money but they won’t turn one down. They are looking for markers, chits, IOUs of any sort, signed by powerful people.
They become the grease, the magic potion that “speeds the plow”.
Green Tech Auto was created out of whole cloth by McAuliffe. His friends unknowingly helped him. “It’s good to be King”. If you can’t be King it’s good to have your picture taken with the King, particularly if you are asking other of the King;s subjects for money.
McAuliffe was the Chairman of the Board of Green Tech Auto. It was to be a car that would run on ruminant eructations, solar flares, and high tides. Although it is not yet flat line it is circling the drain. Its hoped for breakthroughs in making a universal Hobin pin and a perpetually lubricated gender-free Frammis are not yet ready for prime time.
McAuliffe wants to be Governor of Virginia.
Green Tech Auto will not produce 1,000,000 cars this year.
McAuliffe said “Just because I was the Chairman and the largest stockholder doesn’t mean I know what was going on”.
The prior reference to “Elephant? What elephant”? was from Jimmy Durante. He is tip-toeing out of a circus tent with 15 feet of chain on around the neck of a 10 foot tall elephant. A policeman says, “Where are you going with that elephant”?
“Elephant”? says the great Schnazoola.
“1,000,000 cars”? says McAuliffe.
“What elephant”?
“What 1,000,000 cars”?
McAuliffe says he quietly resigned as Chairman of the Board of Green Tech Auto last December. The resignation of the Chairman of the Board of a public company is done neither quietly, or as he also said, “verbally”. It is a matter most material to any public company. Failure to disclose is considered to be fraudulent on its face. The market can never have too much information. The Securities & Exchange Commission is conducting an investigation. One can only hope that the investigation methods used by the Internal Revenue Service are not those used here.
A possible defense would be that he suffers from terminal “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”.
Clark Clifford, Craig Livingstone, Terry McAuliffe – pushing the edge of the envelope, the one containing American exceptionalism – out there with only “a shoeshine and a smile”.
What a country!
Big Mike was right.
“That’s why you never see anybody swimming to Cuba,
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Friday, August 16, 2013
August 16, 2013
Steven Goldstein
The Sun Sentinel
RE: The world of public education, as explained by modern American Liberal Steven Goldstein, and why it is condemned to failure by the racist Koch Brothers, evil Wal-Mart, and the homophobic Tea Party [evil bastards all] as detailed in today’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel.
My dear Professor,
My plan for increasing FCAT Geometry scores and the self-esteem of rhomboid challenged students by changing pi from 3.1416 to 3.0 has failed to gain traction.
Herewith my backup plan, Plan B to be precise, to make education “better” in Florida.
#1 – Reward success. Punish failure. – The idea of paying a bad teacher as much as a good teacher is offensive to Logic. In fact, paying anything to a bad teacher is lunacy.
#2 – Give good teachers hazard pay for teaching in bad schools – In the Second World War may GIs volunteered to become paratroopers because they were paid $30 more a month. Less than a year after they jumped into Normandy Hitler ate his gun. Why not try it here? If it doesn’t work we can always go back to what we know doesn’t work, right?
#3 – Tenure must go –Accountants don’t have it. Diesel mechanics don’t have it. Bus drivers don’t have it. Chefs who spit in the soup don’t have it. Surgeons who mistake livers for lungs don’t have it. Tenors who are afraid of Turnadot never get to the Met.. Football coaches don’t have it. Philandering spouses don’t have it. Napoleon would execute 3 poilus for cowardice before a battle. He said it “encouraged the others”. Talk about innovation in education! We should try it. If it doesn’t work, move on to something else.
#4 – Feel good courses are out – The Trivium, despite decades of snarling attempts by disciples of modern American Liberalism to late term abort it, is still standing. In fact, the worse things become around it, the better it becomes. It doesn’t matter if you are calorically challenged, if you are gender challenged, if you are “unlucky in life’s lottery”--------“Stones are hard, water is wet….if that is granted all else follows”. Alas, the drowning polar bears are on their own.
#5 – Degrees in Education, most particularly graduate degrees, are forever invalidated. They raise Sophistry to an absurd level. Confusing feelings with ideas, and then glorifying them with laurels, “leads a country by a short route to chaos”.
Wait a minute. Isn’t that where we started?
I think I just proved my point.
QED.
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
PS – QED? Send a SASE
Steven Goldstein
The Sun Sentinel
RE: The world of public education, as explained by modern American Liberal Steven Goldstein, and why it is condemned to failure by the racist Koch Brothers, evil Wal-Mart, and the homophobic Tea Party [evil bastards all] as detailed in today’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel.
My dear Professor,
My plan for increasing FCAT Geometry scores and the self-esteem of rhomboid challenged students by changing pi from 3.1416 to 3.0 has failed to gain traction.
Herewith my backup plan, Plan B to be precise, to make education “better” in Florida.
#1 – Reward success. Punish failure. – The idea of paying a bad teacher as much as a good teacher is offensive to Logic. In fact, paying anything to a bad teacher is lunacy.
#2 – Give good teachers hazard pay for teaching in bad schools – In the Second World War may GIs volunteered to become paratroopers because they were paid $30 more a month. Less than a year after they jumped into Normandy Hitler ate his gun. Why not try it here? If it doesn’t work we can always go back to what we know doesn’t work, right?
#3 – Tenure must go –Accountants don’t have it. Diesel mechanics don’t have it. Bus drivers don’t have it. Chefs who spit in the soup don’t have it. Surgeons who mistake livers for lungs don’t have it. Tenors who are afraid of Turnadot never get to the Met.. Football coaches don’t have it. Philandering spouses don’t have it. Napoleon would execute 3 poilus for cowardice before a battle. He said it “encouraged the others”. Talk about innovation in education! We should try it. If it doesn’t work, move on to something else.
#4 – Feel good courses are out – The Trivium, despite decades of snarling attempts by disciples of modern American Liberalism to late term abort it, is still standing. In fact, the worse things become around it, the better it becomes. It doesn’t matter if you are calorically challenged, if you are gender challenged, if you are “unlucky in life’s lottery”--------“Stones are hard, water is wet….if that is granted all else follows”. Alas, the drowning polar bears are on their own.
#5 – Degrees in Education, most particularly graduate degrees, are forever invalidated. They raise Sophistry to an absurd level. Confusing feelings with ideas, and then glorifying them with laurels, “leads a country by a short route to chaos”.
Wait a minute. Isn’t that where we started?
I think I just proved my point.
QED.
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
PS – QED? Send a SASE
August 13, 2013
Senator Bill Nelson
3416 South University Drive
Davie, FL 32207
RE: A time to heal. Perhaps you can help us come together to go forward as one to the land of milk, honey, peaceful enjoyment, full employment, and the pleasant purring of a contented populace after the wealth is spread around.
Senator Nelson,
That we are in a time of discord, of racial rancor, of fundamental disharmony, there can be no doubt.
Herewith a plan to heal.
Perhaps you can bring us together. Perhaps you can help us reach the Kumbaya land I believe that men of good still want to dwell in. Unlike Moses we can reach the Promised Land.
Even a cursory reading of American History shows that the Democratic Party reigns supreme, indeed even unchallenged, as the template for racism, both institutional and personal. As a Democrat you can be the vanguard, the leader of changing that.
It was a Republican President who appointed a Republican Governor as Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States that led to official desegregation of public schools in this country. The same Republican President sent the 101st Airborne Davison, the Screaming Eagles, the same group made memorable by “Band of Brothers”, to enforce the law. He did this after the Democratic Governor called out the Arkansas National Guard to prevent integration.
Two Democratic Senators, John Stennis of Mississippi and Richard Russell of Georgia, were in the forefront of the fight to prevent integration. My reasons for not mentioning other Democratic Senators – Senators like Byrd, Gore, Talmadge Eastland, Ervin, Smathers, and Fullbright leap to mind – will be made clear.
Despite the changing mood of the country the names of Stennis and Russell were honored by other Senators in way that sticks in the craw of law abiding citizens of all races. If not being worse than Senator Bilbo is the only good thing that can be said about them then we give new meaning to the term “Damning with faint praise”.
The USS John Stennis [CVN 74] a nuclear powered aircraft carrier whose official nickname is “Johnny Reb”, and the Richard Russell Senate Office Building stand as constant reminders of a past that must be ventilated and made clean. [“Dixie” can no longer be played at Ole Miss football games. When was the last time a government agency flew the Stars and Bars? Even though Democratic President Woodrow Wilson was its biggest fan, the wait for Godot will be over before “The Birth of a Nation” is shown again in the White House. Amazon will sell you “Deep Throat” in 3-D and in 69 languages before “Song of the South” will be offered.]
Those names are like fungating chancres that must be aerated, etiolated, ripped asunder, and left to heal in God’s blessed forgiving sunlight.
Despite their outward Southern gentlemen courtliness one of them kept a lawn jockey by his DC office door. He encouraged visitors to rub its head for good luck. The other had Muzak looping “Old Black Joe” over and over in his waiting room. Both Senators sent copies of “Li’l Black Sambo”, with the good parts underlined, to constituents who would ask.
I suggest that you lead a crusade to have the name Richard Russell sandblasted off the wall of the Senate building named after him. As a Jersey guy I suggest that the new honorees be from my home state. Williams/Toricelli has a certain euphonic ring to it. New Jersey was in the forefront of bettering race relations what with the EyeTies helping the castagnas establish tax free distribution zones of personal products.
Both were significant, even memorable, Senators.
It is true that they may have had problems with other parts of Federal law but integration was not one of them. Besides, as former Senator Clinton said, “What difference does it make now.”
As to the name of the aircraft carrier….
I suggest that ship be renamed the USS Oprah Winfrey.
She is a calorically challenged Black woman.
You could kill 3 birds with one stone.
It would quiet the permanently outraged fat Black chick lobby.
Which would rather have?
A $38,000 hand bag as an accessory item or an eight billion – that’s $8,000,000,000 – carrier named after you. The Swiss don’t even have a navy.
So much of what we do is petty, banal. We go about our quotidian tasks almost afraid to look up and see the stars. You have a chance to make us a better country. Please take it. It’s time for modern American Liberalism to come to the Baby Jesus, confess their sins, plead for redemption and beg for forgiveness.
God bless you and God Bless America!
Kevin Smith
PS – Lest you think I have taken total leave of my senses perhaps you could clear up some questions about the Republican War on Women. Mayor Filner [D-CA] never saw an ass that he didn’t want to grab. Governor Spitzer [D-NY] would have been Mary Magdalene’s favorite customer. Congressman Weiner [D-NY has given, gives, and will give new meaning to the term erectile function. They are all Democrats. Could we not assume that if it is not a war on women it is, as President Truman said, a “police action”? Get back to me on that. I have 3 .granddaughters who visit regularly.
Senator Bill Nelson
3416 South University Drive
Davie, FL 32207
RE: A time to heal. Perhaps you can help us come together to go forward as one to the land of milk, honey, peaceful enjoyment, full employment, and the pleasant purring of a contented populace after the wealth is spread around.
Senator Nelson,
That we are in a time of discord, of racial rancor, of fundamental disharmony, there can be no doubt.
Herewith a plan to heal.
Perhaps you can bring us together. Perhaps you can help us reach the Kumbaya land I believe that men of good still want to dwell in. Unlike Moses we can reach the Promised Land.
Even a cursory reading of American History shows that the Democratic Party reigns supreme, indeed even unchallenged, as the template for racism, both institutional and personal. As a Democrat you can be the vanguard, the leader of changing that.
It was a Republican President who appointed a Republican Governor as Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States that led to official desegregation of public schools in this country. The same Republican President sent the 101st Airborne Davison, the Screaming Eagles, the same group made memorable by “Band of Brothers”, to enforce the law. He did this after the Democratic Governor called out the Arkansas National Guard to prevent integration.
Two Democratic Senators, John Stennis of Mississippi and Richard Russell of Georgia, were in the forefront of the fight to prevent integration. My reasons for not mentioning other Democratic Senators – Senators like Byrd, Gore, Talmadge Eastland, Ervin, Smathers, and Fullbright leap to mind – will be made clear.
Despite the changing mood of the country the names of Stennis and Russell were honored by other Senators in way that sticks in the craw of law abiding citizens of all races. If not being worse than Senator Bilbo is the only good thing that can be said about them then we give new meaning to the term “Damning with faint praise”.
The USS John Stennis [CVN 74] a nuclear powered aircraft carrier whose official nickname is “Johnny Reb”, and the Richard Russell Senate Office Building stand as constant reminders of a past that must be ventilated and made clean. [“Dixie” can no longer be played at Ole Miss football games. When was the last time a government agency flew the Stars and Bars? Even though Democratic President Woodrow Wilson was its biggest fan, the wait for Godot will be over before “The Birth of a Nation” is shown again in the White House. Amazon will sell you “Deep Throat” in 3-D and in 69 languages before “Song of the South” will be offered.]
Those names are like fungating chancres that must be aerated, etiolated, ripped asunder, and left to heal in God’s blessed forgiving sunlight.
Despite their outward Southern gentlemen courtliness one of them kept a lawn jockey by his DC office door. He encouraged visitors to rub its head for good luck. The other had Muzak looping “Old Black Joe” over and over in his waiting room. Both Senators sent copies of “Li’l Black Sambo”, with the good parts underlined, to constituents who would ask.
I suggest that you lead a crusade to have the name Richard Russell sandblasted off the wall of the Senate building named after him. As a Jersey guy I suggest that the new honorees be from my home state. Williams/Toricelli has a certain euphonic ring to it. New Jersey was in the forefront of bettering race relations what with the EyeTies helping the castagnas establish tax free distribution zones of personal products.
Both were significant, even memorable, Senators.
It is true that they may have had problems with other parts of Federal law but integration was not one of them. Besides, as former Senator Clinton said, “What difference does it make now.”
As to the name of the aircraft carrier….
I suggest that ship be renamed the USS Oprah Winfrey.
She is a calorically challenged Black woman.
You could kill 3 birds with one stone.
It would quiet the permanently outraged fat Black chick lobby.
Which would rather have?
A $38,000 hand bag as an accessory item or an eight billion – that’s $8,000,000,000 – carrier named after you. The Swiss don’t even have a navy.
So much of what we do is petty, banal. We go about our quotidian tasks almost afraid to look up and see the stars. You have a chance to make us a better country. Please take it. It’s time for modern American Liberalism to come to the Baby Jesus, confess their sins, plead for redemption and beg for forgiveness.
God bless you and God Bless America!
Kevin Smith
PS – Lest you think I have taken total leave of my senses perhaps you could clear up some questions about the Republican War on Women. Mayor Filner [D-CA] never saw an ass that he didn’t want to grab. Governor Spitzer [D-NY] would have been Mary Magdalene’s favorite customer. Congressman Weiner [D-NY has given, gives, and will give new meaning to the term erectile function. They are all Democrats. Could we not assume that if it is not a war on women it is, as President Truman said, a “police action”? Get back to me on that. I have 3 .granddaughters who visit regularly.
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
August 10, 2013
Sheriff Scott Israel
2601 W. Broward Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33312
RE: An immodest proposal to salvage your first term plus laying up a few dollars for my fast approaching golden years.
Sheriff Israel,
OK. OK.
The people, most of whom become enraged reptiles when you piss on their backs, can understand that you confused a few nights on a gazillion dollar yacht, a boat with extras that compare favorably to a Nimitz class carrier, with a few nights in a B minus Motel 6 scow.
You were “on the job” for a long time.
Years of street duty should have imbued you with a built-in GPS that told you when it was worth driving 5 miles more for a better donut, right? In for a pence, in for a pound has always worked for me. Besides, it is far, far better to be hung for 3 sheep than 1 goat. Your internal alarm should have gone off when you realized that Perrier was coming out of the shower. If that didn’t make you shout Avast! or Arrgh! the choice between a live production of The Lion King with Elton John as Simba or the keelhauling of the scullery maid who failed to remove the pits from your orange juice should have sent a flare up your yazoo.
These are missteps that can be corrected.
It’s the brouhaha with Senor Jorge Forte, this decade’s version of Craig Livingstone that has me worried. You may remember him as the guy who was in charge of getting pizzas for the Clinton ’92 campaign [That was his cover. His main job was scoping out the chicks for Handsome Billy from Hot Springs. Ask Debbie. She could never break into the rotation] He wound up in charge of the White House appointments desk before Congressman Tom :Lontos asked him to commit suicide on national TV.
It is in the nature of political campaigns to attract polished but shallow entrepreneurs whose main goal in life is to fill inside straights. Res ipso loquitur or quod erat demonstratum. Either one will work.
There is a Texas tale that may explain it.
A guy with a hat, always a big hat, runs around shouting “Does anybody have a rooster ‘cuz I got a truckload of chickens?” Somebody finally says, “Yup”
“Don’t move”, says the big hatted first guy. He then begins to retrace his steps as he shouts, “I got a rooster. Who has some chickens?”
Thus, Senor Jorge Forte, who will soon find himself looking at some serious time in a Federal pokey, wound up on the pad at your department. [Senor Jorge Forte will soon need a bird the size of a whooping crane to equal his singing to the Feds. He will give up his mother, his dog, his Siamese twin, and he will close out the Kennedy hit in return for life in the Witness Protection program in Wynona, MN or Darmiscotta, ME.]
By now you know this.
You have a problem:
You paid this guy $15, 000 to write a report on leasing cars. I used to lease cars. I leased two 54 inch continuous underground coal mining machines. I used them, can you believe it, to mine coal. It is a , leasing, with which I am most familiar.
You paid him $197 an hour to perform some unknown duties. Based on the report in today’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel it was not to teach grammar to your employees.
Here is my solution.
Pay me $7,500 and I will write a report on why the moon is made of green cheese. Tell me whether you want the world to be round or flat for your next outreach luncheon and I will support either argument. Or both in case you have back-to-back meetings with groups that have different beliefs.
Tu quoque, argumentum ad captandum, Rhetoric, Sophistry. Modern American Liberal gravity defying programs – just ask. Give me an hour with a good word processor and I’ll have you sounding like Demosthenes or Don Rickles
Pay me $93.50 an hour and I will get my stout yardstick out of storage and teach grammar the only way it should be taught. One ruler for 10 knuckles. Nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, moods, onomatopoeia, maybe even metaphors and litotes for the good ones. Spelling, of course. Particularly your name. I have more rulers than your employees have knuckles.
As a Board Certified Life Coach, as an alumnus of Hudson County, NJ, the ancestral home of the Sting, as someone familiar with both Mr. Strunck & Mr. White, as a curmudgeonly, erudite, literate ne’er-do-well, as someone who knows, genetically, the difference between the buttered side and the dry, as someone who is known to various law enforcement agencies [including yours] as someone who believes, fervently, in the adage “Whose wine I drink, whose song I sing”, I am your ma. I daresy for all seasons.
It’s time to bring the Broward Sheriff’s Office back to the glory days of Ken Jenne.
You have the cojonic chutzpah to do it.
I can help.
Let’s have a bang up lunch and work out the details.
I’ll flip you for the tab.
Kevin Smith
Sheriff Scott Israel
2601 W. Broward Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33312
RE: An immodest proposal to salvage your first term plus laying up a few dollars for my fast approaching golden years.
Sheriff Israel,
OK. OK.
The people, most of whom become enraged reptiles when you piss on their backs, can understand that you confused a few nights on a gazillion dollar yacht, a boat with extras that compare favorably to a Nimitz class carrier, with a few nights in a B minus Motel 6 scow.
You were “on the job” for a long time.
Years of street duty should have imbued you with a built-in GPS that told you when it was worth driving 5 miles more for a better donut, right? In for a pence, in for a pound has always worked for me. Besides, it is far, far better to be hung for 3 sheep than 1 goat. Your internal alarm should have gone off when you realized that Perrier was coming out of the shower. If that didn’t make you shout Avast! or Arrgh! the choice between a live production of The Lion King with Elton John as Simba or the keelhauling of the scullery maid who failed to remove the pits from your orange juice should have sent a flare up your yazoo.
These are missteps that can be corrected.
It’s the brouhaha with Senor Jorge Forte, this decade’s version of Craig Livingstone that has me worried. You may remember him as the guy who was in charge of getting pizzas for the Clinton ’92 campaign [That was his cover. His main job was scoping out the chicks for Handsome Billy from Hot Springs. Ask Debbie. She could never break into the rotation] He wound up in charge of the White House appointments desk before Congressman Tom :Lontos asked him to commit suicide on national TV.
It is in the nature of political campaigns to attract polished but shallow entrepreneurs whose main goal in life is to fill inside straights. Res ipso loquitur or quod erat demonstratum. Either one will work.
There is a Texas tale that may explain it.
A guy with a hat, always a big hat, runs around shouting “Does anybody have a rooster ‘cuz I got a truckload of chickens?” Somebody finally says, “Yup”
“Don’t move”, says the big hatted first guy. He then begins to retrace his steps as he shouts, “I got a rooster. Who has some chickens?”
Thus, Senor Jorge Forte, who will soon find himself looking at some serious time in a Federal pokey, wound up on the pad at your department. [Senor Jorge Forte will soon need a bird the size of a whooping crane to equal his singing to the Feds. He will give up his mother, his dog, his Siamese twin, and he will close out the Kennedy hit in return for life in the Witness Protection program in Wynona, MN or Darmiscotta, ME.]
By now you know this.
You have a problem:
You paid this guy $15, 000 to write a report on leasing cars. I used to lease cars. I leased two 54 inch continuous underground coal mining machines. I used them, can you believe it, to mine coal. It is a , leasing, with which I am most familiar.
You paid him $197 an hour to perform some unknown duties. Based on the report in today’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel it was not to teach grammar to your employees.
Here is my solution.
Pay me $7,500 and I will write a report on why the moon is made of green cheese. Tell me whether you want the world to be round or flat for your next outreach luncheon and I will support either argument. Or both in case you have back-to-back meetings with groups that have different beliefs.
Tu quoque, argumentum ad captandum, Rhetoric, Sophistry. Modern American Liberal gravity defying programs – just ask. Give me an hour with a good word processor and I’ll have you sounding like Demosthenes or Don Rickles
Pay me $93.50 an hour and I will get my stout yardstick out of storage and teach grammar the only way it should be taught. One ruler for 10 knuckles. Nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, moods, onomatopoeia, maybe even metaphors and litotes for the good ones. Spelling, of course. Particularly your name. I have more rulers than your employees have knuckles.
As a Board Certified Life Coach, as an alumnus of Hudson County, NJ, the ancestral home of the Sting, as someone familiar with both Mr. Strunck & Mr. White, as a curmudgeonly, erudite, literate ne’er-do-well, as someone who knows, genetically, the difference between the buttered side and the dry, as someone who is known to various law enforcement agencies [including yours] as someone who believes, fervently, in the adage “Whose wine I drink, whose song I sing”, I am your ma. I daresy for all seasons.
It’s time to bring the Broward Sheriff’s Office back to the glory days of Ken Jenne.
You have the cojonic chutzpah to do it.
I can help.
Let’s have a bang up lunch and work out the details.
I’ll flip you for the tab.
Kevin Smith
August 12, 2013
Congresswoman Lois Frankel
2500 N. Military Trail #400
Boca Raton, FL 33431
RE: A modest proposal
Congresswoman Frankel,
President Obama has exempted members of Congress and their employees from having to obey Obamacare.
Passed by Congress, signed by the President, and upheld by the Supreme Court can it not be called the law of the land?
I am unable to find any language, any words, any emanations or permutations in the Constitution that so empower him. Maybe I missed it.
Could you show me where the President gets the authority to pick and choose which laws and which parts of said laws he will enforce?
My copy of the Constitution, the one that was written in Philadelphia in 1787, the one that I thought was the basis of law and life in this country says, “he shall take care that the laws be faithfully executed”. That’s Article 2, Section 3.
I suggest that he will have the full support of the people if he were to find some wiggle room in the laws regulating the Internal revenue Service.
Please get back to me.
Kevin Smith
Congresswoman Lois Frankel
2500 N. Military Trail #400
Boca Raton, FL 33431
RE: A modest proposal
Congresswoman Frankel,
President Obama has exempted members of Congress and their employees from having to obey Obamacare.
Passed by Congress, signed by the President, and upheld by the Supreme Court can it not be called the law of the land?
I am unable to find any language, any words, any emanations or permutations in the Constitution that so empower him. Maybe I missed it.
Could you show me where the President gets the authority to pick and choose which laws and which parts of said laws he will enforce?
My copy of the Constitution, the one that was written in Philadelphia in 1787, the one that I thought was the basis of law and life in this country says, “he shall take care that the laws be faithfully executed”. That’s Article 2, Section 3.
I suggest that he will have the full support of the people if he were to find some wiggle room in the laws regulating the Internal revenue Service.
Please get back to me.
Kevin Smith
August 12, 2013
Senator Claire McCaskill
555 Independence Street #1600
Cape Girardeau, Missouri 63703
RE: Outrage in the Show Me state
Senator McCaskill,
In reading of your outrage at a rodeo clown wearing an Obama mask I realized it was a teachable moment.
Why not have some of your super bright aides – the ones who helped you duck your evasion of state tax on your airplane – bring you up to speed on the campaigns of 1800 and 1826?
That they were the two dirtiest campaigns in American History there is no doubt. That they happened before we had the use of electricity is a sterling testament to American exceptionalism.
One of the best kept dirty little secrets of modern American Liberalism is the forgotten [almost] stories of the Democratic Party.
In 1864 the Democrat Party – Democratic or Democrat is of no great import to me. Call them what you will. Your crypt is filled with rotters. Time has not diminished their stench – and its lap dog servy boy, the New York Times, called Abraham Lincoln a “baboon”. Look it up.
If we are to believe Justice Thurgood Marshall the most racist, the most bigoted, the most vile and hateful President in the 20th century was Woodrow Wilson. His favorite marching society wore masks too. Unlike the rodeo clown the masks his buddies wore had no caricature faces on them. The KuKluxKlan preferred anonymity, particularly when it was going about its appointed task of keeping uppity Nigrahs in line. You can look that one up also.
Speaking of outrage, how about the tax-payer supported Piss Christ or Corpus Cristi?
Tax payer moneys, moneys taken from taxpayers who may believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, are used to pay fay for a tour of art works. One of them is Piss Christ. It shows a crucifix suspended in a vat of urine. Corpus Cristi is a play that begins with the premise that Jesus Christ and Judas Iscariot were homosexual lovers. When they had a lovers’ quarrel Judas dropped a dime on Jesus. When the play goes on tour some of the expenses are paid for by the American taxpayer. Any outrage there?
When Michael Moore said that he wished more Republicans had been killed on September 11th were you outraged? If not, why not?
When photos of President Bush were made to look like Hitler did you say how outraged you were? If not, why not?
One of the benefits of owning your own plane is that you get some quality time by yourself. None of those 99% hassles with the TSA. None of the day old donuts or weak tea. [Speaking of tax evasion, did you tell then Senator Kerry how to avoid state taxes on his boat or did he tell you how to avoid state taxes on your plane?]
You may want to do some research in “eclectic indignation”.
It oozes from you in a manner that causes a stench most foul in the nostrils of honest men
Kevin Smith
PS – Cape Girardeau. The ancestral home of Rush Limbaugh. Wouldn’t it be a hoot if he turned out to be you landlord?
Senator Claire McCaskill
555 Independence Street #1600
Cape Girardeau, Missouri 63703
RE: Outrage in the Show Me state
Senator McCaskill,
In reading of your outrage at a rodeo clown wearing an Obama mask I realized it was a teachable moment.
Why not have some of your super bright aides – the ones who helped you duck your evasion of state tax on your airplane – bring you up to speed on the campaigns of 1800 and 1826?
That they were the two dirtiest campaigns in American History there is no doubt. That they happened before we had the use of electricity is a sterling testament to American exceptionalism.
One of the best kept dirty little secrets of modern American Liberalism is the forgotten [almost] stories of the Democratic Party.
In 1864 the Democrat Party – Democratic or Democrat is of no great import to me. Call them what you will. Your crypt is filled with rotters. Time has not diminished their stench – and its lap dog servy boy, the New York Times, called Abraham Lincoln a “baboon”. Look it up.
If we are to believe Justice Thurgood Marshall the most racist, the most bigoted, the most vile and hateful President in the 20th century was Woodrow Wilson. His favorite marching society wore masks too. Unlike the rodeo clown the masks his buddies wore had no caricature faces on them. The KuKluxKlan preferred anonymity, particularly when it was going about its appointed task of keeping uppity Nigrahs in line. You can look that one up also.
Speaking of outrage, how about the tax-payer supported Piss Christ or Corpus Cristi?
Tax payer moneys, moneys taken from taxpayers who may believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, are used to pay fay for a tour of art works. One of them is Piss Christ. It shows a crucifix suspended in a vat of urine. Corpus Cristi is a play that begins with the premise that Jesus Christ and Judas Iscariot were homosexual lovers. When they had a lovers’ quarrel Judas dropped a dime on Jesus. When the play goes on tour some of the expenses are paid for by the American taxpayer. Any outrage there?
When Michael Moore said that he wished more Republicans had been killed on September 11th were you outraged? If not, why not?
When photos of President Bush were made to look like Hitler did you say how outraged you were? If not, why not?
One of the benefits of owning your own plane is that you get some quality time by yourself. None of those 99% hassles with the TSA. None of the day old donuts or weak tea. [Speaking of tax evasion, did you tell then Senator Kerry how to avoid state taxes on his boat or did he tell you how to avoid state taxes on your plane?]
You may want to do some research in “eclectic indignation”.
It oozes from you in a manner that causes a stench most foul in the nostrils of honest men
Kevin Smith
PS – Cape Girardeau. The ancestral home of Rush Limbaugh. Wouldn’t it be a hoot if he turned out to be you landlord?
Sunday, August 11, 2013
August 11, 2013
Gina Barecca
The Hartford Courant
285 Broad Street
Hartford, CT 06115
RE: “Unlearning The Life Lessons of Kindergarten” – Some comments on your continuing, doubtless perpetual, probably Sisyphean, task to undo the obvious, the du jour obvious being that boys and girls are different. Unfortunately, it is in today’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel.
Ms. Barecca,
“One of the biggest revelations came
when I realized that I didn’t have to share.”
The Sun Sentinel
Today
You
Was it Ayn Rand or Lazarus Long who said that first?
As a female, feminist New England university professor of English literature I think it would be difficult for you, despite Ms. Rand’s lack of a scrotum, to champion anything she said.
When plaid is your favorite color things like choice become easier.
“I discovered in my mid-to late 20s that the unoccupied
hand belonging [to] my ‘buddy’, [or boyfriend, or first husband]
was often furtively engaged in holding a miniature bottle of
cinnamon schnapps, the keys to a vehicle he didn’t own
or the hand of another wide-eyed girl”
The Sun Sentinel
Today
You
What’s the sense of being a modern American Liberal unless your narcissism allows you to 7 League boot it full blown solipsism?
I am sorry you didn’t have a strong male figure to guide you through your days of choosing life’s mate. The only reason to drink cinnamon schnapps is when you lose a bet. Should any prospective suitor of my daughter, having presented himself at my door in pursuit of my daughter’s hand, asked for a cinnamon schnapps I would have blinked not quite twice before I threw his sad sack sorry ass out the door.
On top of which you say he boosted cars?
When you had the Damascene moment I hope you realize that this turd should be removed from the gene pool. Maybe even some tough love a la Lorena Bobbitt.
Stop flogging yourself about your early choices.
Of the 12 guys that Jesus chose 1 dropped a dime on him and 10 ran away from him. You only mentioned one.
“Duck, duck Jane Eyre!”
Duck, duck Anna Karenina!”
The Sun Sentinel
Today
You
How about
“Duck duck Antigone!”
or
“Duck, duck Margaret Thatcher!”
You are outraged, outraged that the You-Tube clip of “Guys Running Into Walls For Fun” has been seen 3,500,000 times while “Women’s History Museum’s Fighting for rhe Vote” has been seen but 56 times.
Let me repeat that.
3,500,000 versus 56
If I were to say that 56 could easily become 70 or 80 if the gals doing the clip flashed a bit of beaver would you take my marketing advice? If Eve Ensler were to offer it would it make it more paalable?
I’ll share a little secret with you. {Keep it to yourself lest I lose my “Man” card]
There are 2 reasons why guys like to watch guys running into walls.
#1 – Guys like to run into walls.
#2 – If they can’t run into walls they like to watch other guys run into walls.
You may wish to extrapolate this revelation into an explanation of why there is bull fighting or NASCAR or why the pentathlon is still an Olympic sport. [George Patton finished 5th in 1912]
To undo this will require a bit more than GI Joe being banned. Kindergarten Kumbaya sing alongs will not do it. Legislation mandating that all Super Bowls end in a scoreless tie is not yet on the horizon. Women and children first, while under attack by Italian cruise ships, is still the rule.
Lysenko would have been the ideal choice to undo the warp and the woof of mitochondrial DNA. In the end, that’s why guys run into walls.
“Three Generations fighting For the Vote” will not undo “Gone With the Wind” or “Saving Private Ryan” at the box office
On September 11, 2001 Dick Oliver, a local NYC newsman, said that you can always tell who the firemen are. “They are the ones running into the burning buildings.”
I think that some of them ran into walls when they were younger.
There is some good news.
I found my notes on bumper stickers.
You may remember that your column on bumper stickers was the one that called me to your attention.
Here are some of my choices.
A – I’m Pro-Life. Are you Pro-Death?
B – WWRD? What Would Reagan Do?
C – Show Us Your Tits – [That’s my anti-Weiner stand]
D – Immanentize the Escatchon? Not on my watch!
Kevin Smith
PS – I’ll bet you couldn’t imagine me quoting Kipling to my granddaughters. One of them has begun quoting him back to me.
Gina Barecca
The Hartford Courant
285 Broad Street
Hartford, CT 06115
RE: “Unlearning The Life Lessons of Kindergarten” – Some comments on your continuing, doubtless perpetual, probably Sisyphean, task to undo the obvious, the du jour obvious being that boys and girls are different. Unfortunately, it is in today’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel.
Ms. Barecca,
“One of the biggest revelations came
when I realized that I didn’t have to share.”
The Sun Sentinel
Today
You
Was it Ayn Rand or Lazarus Long who said that first?
As a female, feminist New England university professor of English literature I think it would be difficult for you, despite Ms. Rand’s lack of a scrotum, to champion anything she said.
When plaid is your favorite color things like choice become easier.
“I discovered in my mid-to late 20s that the unoccupied
hand belonging [to] my ‘buddy’, [or boyfriend, or first husband]
was often furtively engaged in holding a miniature bottle of
cinnamon schnapps, the keys to a vehicle he didn’t own
or the hand of another wide-eyed girl”
The Sun Sentinel
Today
You
What’s the sense of being a modern American Liberal unless your narcissism allows you to 7 League boot it full blown solipsism?
I am sorry you didn’t have a strong male figure to guide you through your days of choosing life’s mate. The only reason to drink cinnamon schnapps is when you lose a bet. Should any prospective suitor of my daughter, having presented himself at my door in pursuit of my daughter’s hand, asked for a cinnamon schnapps I would have blinked not quite twice before I threw his sad sack sorry ass out the door.
On top of which you say he boosted cars?
When you had the Damascene moment I hope you realize that this turd should be removed from the gene pool. Maybe even some tough love a la Lorena Bobbitt.
Stop flogging yourself about your early choices.
Of the 12 guys that Jesus chose 1 dropped a dime on him and 10 ran away from him. You only mentioned one.
“Duck, duck Jane Eyre!”
Duck, duck Anna Karenina!”
The Sun Sentinel
Today
You
How about
“Duck duck Antigone!”
or
“Duck, duck Margaret Thatcher!”
You are outraged, outraged that the You-Tube clip of “Guys Running Into Walls For Fun” has been seen 3,500,000 times while “Women’s History Museum’s Fighting for rhe Vote” has been seen but 56 times.
Let me repeat that.
3,500,000 versus 56
If I were to say that 56 could easily become 70 or 80 if the gals doing the clip flashed a bit of beaver would you take my marketing advice? If Eve Ensler were to offer it would it make it more paalable?
I’ll share a little secret with you. {Keep it to yourself lest I lose my “Man” card]
There are 2 reasons why guys like to watch guys running into walls.
#1 – Guys like to run into walls.
#2 – If they can’t run into walls they like to watch other guys run into walls.
You may wish to extrapolate this revelation into an explanation of why there is bull fighting or NASCAR or why the pentathlon is still an Olympic sport. [George Patton finished 5th in 1912]
To undo this will require a bit more than GI Joe being banned. Kindergarten Kumbaya sing alongs will not do it. Legislation mandating that all Super Bowls end in a scoreless tie is not yet on the horizon. Women and children first, while under attack by Italian cruise ships, is still the rule.
Lysenko would have been the ideal choice to undo the warp and the woof of mitochondrial DNA. In the end, that’s why guys run into walls.
“Three Generations fighting For the Vote” will not undo “Gone With the Wind” or “Saving Private Ryan” at the box office
On September 11, 2001 Dick Oliver, a local NYC newsman, said that you can always tell who the firemen are. “They are the ones running into the burning buildings.”
I think that some of them ran into walls when they were younger.
There is some good news.
I found my notes on bumper stickers.
You may remember that your column on bumper stickers was the one that called me to your attention.
Here are some of my choices.
A – I’m Pro-Life. Are you Pro-Death?
B – WWRD? What Would Reagan Do?
C – Show Us Your Tits – [That’s my anti-Weiner stand]
D – Immanentize the Escatchon? Not on my watch!
Kevin Smith
PS – I’ll bet you couldn’t imagine me quoting Kipling to my granddaughters. One of them has begun quoting him back to me.
Saturday, August 10, 2013
August 9, 2013
Councilman Nick Mosby
City Hall #513
100 N. Holiday Street
Baltimore, MD 21202
RE: Identity theft alert!
Councilman Mosby,
I was going to send you this alert via FedEx but the long awaited Summer of Recovery has not yet arrived for me. I hope that, for a change, the USPS, the template for the administration of Obamacare, will get this to you before Labor Day.
Some moron, a real jackass, a person with less sense then a box of hammers, a dummy worthy of Guinness Book mention, is on the radio down here using your name to sponsor a boycott of Florida because the jury, and God Damn them, acquitted George Zimmerman, the notorious White Hispanic.
I say moron, jackass, dummy, nit-wit, inter alia, because it’s easy to say “Don’t Go To Florida”. In 1990 I took the pledge to never set foot in Sun City. I felt good until the O.J Simpson verdict for keeping that. I read your website bio and anyone who can sponsor legislation asking the citizens to pick up one piece of garbage a day is OK in my book. I am not sure what the good people of Baltimore are to do once they get their quotidian flotsam and/or jetsam but I’m sure you’ll them them.
If you think it is as moral imperative to avoid Florida would not Logic dictate that Florida not be allowed to come to Baltimore?
After you ban the Ravens and the Orioles form playing in Florida, after you ban all professional teams from Florida for playing in Baltimore you must go further.
#1 – Begin with orange juice. Forbid the importation, distribution, sale, and consumption of any and all citrus products in Baltimore. No exceptions.
#2 – Disney Productions, in all its forms, is verboten. .Your website says you have two young daughters. Start with their rooms. If it’s from Walt it is gone. In fact, why not have a ritual burning of all things Disney on the steps of City Hall?
#3 – Speaking of your website, it exhorts me to vote for you on Tuesday, November 8, 2011. Honest. Were you reelected or are the polls still open? I was born and raised in Hudson County, NJ. The rule that modern American Liberals use for winning elections came from there. Where do you think Mayor Daley learned how to put the fix in in 1960? Just keep counting until you win. Simple enough. It worked for Senator Wyden and Senator Franken. It should be a layup for you
#4 – If a bunch of rich White Republicans, doubtless egged on by the Koch Brothers and fueled by the Right Wing vitriol of Fox News, were to hire Stevie Wonder for a concert in Omaha and then fly him to Tampa and not tell him would that be a hate crime?
Silly me!
There is no imposter.
It’s you.
One good thing to come out of this is that you have won a major award.
I hereby declare you
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
KEVIN SMITH
Councilman Nick Mosby
City Hall #513
100 N. Holiday Street
Baltimore, MD 21202
RE: Identity theft alert!
Councilman Mosby,
I was going to send you this alert via FedEx but the long awaited Summer of Recovery has not yet arrived for me. I hope that, for a change, the USPS, the template for the administration of Obamacare, will get this to you before Labor Day.
Some moron, a real jackass, a person with less sense then a box of hammers, a dummy worthy of Guinness Book mention, is on the radio down here using your name to sponsor a boycott of Florida because the jury, and God Damn them, acquitted George Zimmerman, the notorious White Hispanic.
I say moron, jackass, dummy, nit-wit, inter alia, because it’s easy to say “Don’t Go To Florida”. In 1990 I took the pledge to never set foot in Sun City. I felt good until the O.J Simpson verdict for keeping that. I read your website bio and anyone who can sponsor legislation asking the citizens to pick up one piece of garbage a day is OK in my book. I am not sure what the good people of Baltimore are to do once they get their quotidian flotsam and/or jetsam but I’m sure you’ll them them.
If you think it is as moral imperative to avoid Florida would not Logic dictate that Florida not be allowed to come to Baltimore?
After you ban the Ravens and the Orioles form playing in Florida, after you ban all professional teams from Florida for playing in Baltimore you must go further.
#1 – Begin with orange juice. Forbid the importation, distribution, sale, and consumption of any and all citrus products in Baltimore. No exceptions.
#2 – Disney Productions, in all its forms, is verboten. .Your website says you have two young daughters. Start with their rooms. If it’s from Walt it is gone. In fact, why not have a ritual burning of all things Disney on the steps of City Hall?
#3 – Speaking of your website, it exhorts me to vote for you on Tuesday, November 8, 2011. Honest. Were you reelected or are the polls still open? I was born and raised in Hudson County, NJ. The rule that modern American Liberals use for winning elections came from there. Where do you think Mayor Daley learned how to put the fix in in 1960? Just keep counting until you win. Simple enough. It worked for Senator Wyden and Senator Franken. It should be a layup for you
#4 – If a bunch of rich White Republicans, doubtless egged on by the Koch Brothers and fueled by the Right Wing vitriol of Fox News, were to hire Stevie Wonder for a concert in Omaha and then fly him to Tampa and not tell him would that be a hate crime?
Silly me!
There is no imposter.
It’s you.
One good thing to come out of this is that you have won a major award.
I hereby declare you
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
KEVIN SMITH
Thursday, August 8, 2013
August 7, 2013
Letter to the Editor
The Sun Sentinel
RE: Another modest proposal to “reset” relations with the Russkies and strike a blow for equality
Sirs,
Can we stipulate to the fact that Secretary Clinton’s “reset” button, the one with the Cyrillic letters, has become FUBARed beyond recognition? [FUBAR? – Send a SASE]
Here comes a chance to do it over and this time to do it right.
Last night, on the Jay Leno Show, the President talked about the upcoming Olympics in Russia. He spoke warmly about the balance beam, the swimming pool, track and field, wrestling, basketball, the bodies of finely tuned athletes glistening with sweat in the various arenas of competition.
Alas, the upcoming Olympics will have none of those games. It will have luge, figure skating, hockey, 12 kinds of skiing, marksmanship, - stuff like that. It’s what is done when the Olympics are played in the winter. Think, “Do you believe in miracles”? Not the Dream Team.
Also, the host country has said that if there is any same sex horizontal tangoing the players will go the Gulag. This must not be allowed to stand.
[As an aside, do you think the President can spell potato? Or is it potatoe? Maybe he could ask Vice President Quayle. I bet he knows. Or is it nose? Why is the K silent? Do you think someone in the 57 or 58 states that make up this country could give me an answer? And, speaking of the extra 7 or 8 states that the President discovered, don’t you think it’s time to order some new flags?]
Anyway, my plan for “resetting” relations with Boris and Natasha Lubyanka also gives us a chance to strike a blow for the Wretched of the Earth.
Lesbians, Gays, Bi-sexuals, regendered, ungenedered, nongendered, cross gendered, celibate sodomites, non-celibate sodomites, North American Man Boy Love fans, manatee sex slaves – Allah Almighty!, but the list is growing like Topsy.
These people need, so to speak, a boost.
Barney Frank and Rosie O’Donnell will lead the athletes into the arena.
Old Glory will be lavender.
The athletes will be dressed as Village People with non-White Hispanics wearing hoodies as penance.
The theme song will be “I Am What I Am” from La Cage aux Folles.
It will have a chilling effect if the guys from the Gulag find a new use for ski poles. On the other hand, can the slope be any more slippery than it is now?
Didn’t Obama ask Medvedev to tell Putin that he would be more “flexible” in his second term?
I think Putin just told him to bend over and he would drive him home. Is that a summer, winter, or year round sport?
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLOSUTH.NET
Letter to the Editor
The Sun Sentinel
RE: Another modest proposal to “reset” relations with the Russkies and strike a blow for equality
Sirs,
Can we stipulate to the fact that Secretary Clinton’s “reset” button, the one with the Cyrillic letters, has become FUBARed beyond recognition? [FUBAR? – Send a SASE]
Here comes a chance to do it over and this time to do it right.
Last night, on the Jay Leno Show, the President talked about the upcoming Olympics in Russia. He spoke warmly about the balance beam, the swimming pool, track and field, wrestling, basketball, the bodies of finely tuned athletes glistening with sweat in the various arenas of competition.
Alas, the upcoming Olympics will have none of those games. It will have luge, figure skating, hockey, 12 kinds of skiing, marksmanship, - stuff like that. It’s what is done when the Olympics are played in the winter. Think, “Do you believe in miracles”? Not the Dream Team.
Also, the host country has said that if there is any same sex horizontal tangoing the players will go the Gulag. This must not be allowed to stand.
[As an aside, do you think the President can spell potato? Or is it potatoe? Maybe he could ask Vice President Quayle. I bet he knows. Or is it nose? Why is the K silent? Do you think someone in the 57 or 58 states that make up this country could give me an answer? And, speaking of the extra 7 or 8 states that the President discovered, don’t you think it’s time to order some new flags?]
Anyway, my plan for “resetting” relations with Boris and Natasha Lubyanka also gives us a chance to strike a blow for the Wretched of the Earth.
Lesbians, Gays, Bi-sexuals, regendered, ungenedered, nongendered, cross gendered, celibate sodomites, non-celibate sodomites, North American Man Boy Love fans, manatee sex slaves – Allah Almighty!, but the list is growing like Topsy.
These people need, so to speak, a boost.
Barney Frank and Rosie O’Donnell will lead the athletes into the arena.
Old Glory will be lavender.
The athletes will be dressed as Village People with non-White Hispanics wearing hoodies as penance.
The theme song will be “I Am What I Am” from La Cage aux Folles.
It will have a chilling effect if the guys from the Gulag find a new use for ski poles. On the other hand, can the slope be any more slippery than it is now?
Didn’t Obama ask Medvedev to tell Putin that he would be more “flexible” in his second term?
I think Putin just told him to bend over and he would drive him home. Is that a summer, winter, or year round sport?
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLOSUTH.NET
Friday, August 2, 2013
August 1, 2013
Maureen Dowd
The New York Times
620 8th Avenue
New York, NY 10018
RE: “100% moral authority” & “phony scandals” - Why modern American Liberals, none of whom is capable of lying straight in bed, always have a chiropractor on speed dial.
Ms. Dowd,
If memory serves, you said that Cindy Sheehan, mother of Casey Sheehan, an American GI who was killed in combat in Iraq, had “199% moral authority” to question the President about her son’s death. Because of this “authority” there would be no checks on anything she asked, said, or implied about the President.
Does Pat Smith, mother of Sean Smith, an American Foreign Service officer who was killed in Benghazi, have the same “moral authority”?
If not, why not?
Could it be that while all toe-tagged Americans are equal some toe-tagged Americans are more equal than others? Could the deciding factor be the party affiliation of the President? Me, a naïf? No way.
If that were the case would not Logic dictate that modern American Liberal ink stained wenches are hypocrites of Homeric proportions and that a Hubble telescope would be needed to see how far this lethal hokum extends?
Just asking.
I expect an answer just after the Times disowns, as in “Let his name become Anathema”, Walter Duranty. That will happen right after Wee Sulzberger the Lesser is scourged, a la Henry the 2nd, on the steps of the New York Public Library. Not the one in Canarsie but rather the big one on 42nd street.
Kevin Smith
Maureen Dowd
The New York Times
620 8th Avenue
New York, NY 10018
RE: “100% moral authority” & “phony scandals” - Why modern American Liberals, none of whom is capable of lying straight in bed, always have a chiropractor on speed dial.
Ms. Dowd,
If memory serves, you said that Cindy Sheehan, mother of Casey Sheehan, an American GI who was killed in combat in Iraq, had “199% moral authority” to question the President about her son’s death. Because of this “authority” there would be no checks on anything she asked, said, or implied about the President.
Does Pat Smith, mother of Sean Smith, an American Foreign Service officer who was killed in Benghazi, have the same “moral authority”?
If not, why not?
Could it be that while all toe-tagged Americans are equal some toe-tagged Americans are more equal than others? Could the deciding factor be the party affiliation of the President? Me, a naïf? No way.
If that were the case would not Logic dictate that modern American Liberal ink stained wenches are hypocrites of Homeric proportions and that a Hubble telescope would be needed to see how far this lethal hokum extends?
Just asking.
I expect an answer just after the Times disowns, as in “Let his name become Anathema”, Walter Duranty. That will happen right after Wee Sulzberger the Lesser is scourged, a la Henry the 2nd, on the steps of the New York Public Library. Not the one in Canarsie but rather the big one on 42nd street.
Kevin Smith
August 2, 2013
Stephen Goldstein
The Sun Sentinel
RE: Some comments on your unlinkable column on The People…Yes
My dear Professor,
The New York Times, the paper that still honors Walter Duranty, announced in their normal ex cathedra style that the 547 vote win by Governo GWr Bush over Vice President AA Gump in 2000 was, for lack of a better word, kosher.
You call it a “debacle”.
What would you call the 336 vote win by Gump over Bush in New Mexico?
Speaking of “debacles”, is your smarmy condescension retroactive? What would call the tally by the Merry Pranksters in Chicago in 1960? There is a line in the movie Key Largo that sums up the winning strategy of big city modern American Liberal politics. “You count the votes until you win.”
We know that political and ethical cognitive dissonance, in this case the ability to distinguish between bad fraud and good fraud, is genetically imbedded in utero in modern American Liberals.
In your case the results of it are worthy of Guinness Book mention.
You write of rampant “violations of the Federal Voting Rights Act”. Let me let you in on a little secret. Here it is.
The President is a Democrat.
The Attorney General is a Democrat.
Either or both will take your collect call.
Washington is chock-a-block filled with idle Federal agents. These are men with badges, guns, and the full force of the law. Since they are not investigating Fast & Furious, since they are not investigating the Benghazi killings, since they are not investigating the IRS, they sit by polishing their hob-nail boots and honing their bayonets.
“How dull it is to pause, to make an end,
To rust unburnished, not to shine in use!
If you drop a dime on the creepy-assed crackers, all of whom are Tea Party, homophobic, GOP racists, it will look like D-Day in about 72 hours. The sun will be blotted out with parachutes carrying men with automatic weapons, in this case good automatic weapons, to bring justice to this last bastion of apartheid.
Trust me.
But back to plea for universal vox populi.
Do you think that certain crimes, child molestation cases come to mind, should be tried, not in the courtroom, but rather on the steps of the Courthouse? How about letting the people speak during the 7th inning stretch at a Marlins game? It sure as Hell can’t hurt attendance. For longer trials there is always half time at the Dolphins games. Are they on Monday Night Football this year? If the game is a blowout we can schedule the hanging at the end of the game. If that doesn’t hold the audience nothing will.
The problem with letting the people speak is that they sometimes say the wrong things. [I shant shame you by pointing out that the differences between a Democracy and a Republic were detailed 25 centuries ago the various Hellene agoras. Honest. You could look it up.] Can you show me an instance where the citizens of any state have voted to approve same sax marriage? Take your time.
I agree with you that it may be time to “end the tyranny of special interests in Tallahassee”
Would you agree with me that the SEIU has too much influence there? Also, the Pro-Death groups, the various teachers’ unions, and the manatee suffrage lobbyists. They should be curtailed, right? Perhaps infringed on is the better word.
As a modern American Liberal you pay lip service to the idea of free speech. Alas, we both know that some speech is freer than others, right? That’s why the First Amendment begins with the majestic words “Congress shall make no law…”
It extends even to you. How about me?
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Stephen Goldstein
The Sun Sentinel
RE: Some comments on your unlinkable column on The People…Yes
My dear Professor,
The New York Times, the paper that still honors Walter Duranty, announced in their normal ex cathedra style that the 547 vote win by Governo GWr Bush over Vice President AA Gump in 2000 was, for lack of a better word, kosher.
You call it a “debacle”.
What would you call the 336 vote win by Gump over Bush in New Mexico?
Speaking of “debacles”, is your smarmy condescension retroactive? What would call the tally by the Merry Pranksters in Chicago in 1960? There is a line in the movie Key Largo that sums up the winning strategy of big city modern American Liberal politics. “You count the votes until you win.”
We know that political and ethical cognitive dissonance, in this case the ability to distinguish between bad fraud and good fraud, is genetically imbedded in utero in modern American Liberals.
In your case the results of it are worthy of Guinness Book mention.
You write of rampant “violations of the Federal Voting Rights Act”. Let me let you in on a little secret. Here it is.
The President is a Democrat.
The Attorney General is a Democrat.
Either or both will take your collect call.
Washington is chock-a-block filled with idle Federal agents. These are men with badges, guns, and the full force of the law. Since they are not investigating Fast & Furious, since they are not investigating the Benghazi killings, since they are not investigating the IRS, they sit by polishing their hob-nail boots and honing their bayonets.
“How dull it is to pause, to make an end,
To rust unburnished, not to shine in use!
If you drop a dime on the creepy-assed crackers, all of whom are Tea Party, homophobic, GOP racists, it will look like D-Day in about 72 hours. The sun will be blotted out with parachutes carrying men with automatic weapons, in this case good automatic weapons, to bring justice to this last bastion of apartheid.
Trust me.
But back to plea for universal vox populi.
Do you think that certain crimes, child molestation cases come to mind, should be tried, not in the courtroom, but rather on the steps of the Courthouse? How about letting the people speak during the 7th inning stretch at a Marlins game? It sure as Hell can’t hurt attendance. For longer trials there is always half time at the Dolphins games. Are they on Monday Night Football this year? If the game is a blowout we can schedule the hanging at the end of the game. If that doesn’t hold the audience nothing will.
The problem with letting the people speak is that they sometimes say the wrong things. [I shant shame you by pointing out that the differences between a Democracy and a Republic were detailed 25 centuries ago the various Hellene agoras. Honest. You could look it up.] Can you show me an instance where the citizens of any state have voted to approve same sax marriage? Take your time.
I agree with you that it may be time to “end the tyranny of special interests in Tallahassee”
Would you agree with me that the SEIU has too much influence there? Also, the Pro-Death groups, the various teachers’ unions, and the manatee suffrage lobbyists. They should be curtailed, right? Perhaps infringed on is the better word.
As a modern American Liberal you pay lip service to the idea of free speech. Alas, we both know that some speech is freer than others, right? That’s why the First Amendment begins with the majestic words “Congress shall make no law…”
It extends even to you. How about me?
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
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