Tuesday, June 27, 2017

June 24, 2017

Chief Justice Jorge Labarga
Florida Supreme Court
500 South Duval Street
Tallahassee, FL 32399-1925

RE: Law & Justice…and do they ever meet?

Justice Labarga,

When it comes to reading the Constitution, the one drawn up in the taverns of Philadelphia during the hellacious summer of 1787 – Doubtless a precursor of the scourge of Global Warming or perhaps Climate Destruction or whatever du jour malady will soon be upon us – not being a lawyer has certain advantages. That is to say I can appreciate the History, the language, and the connection to the Natural law, a gift that is ours from birth, “a gift from beyond the stars”.

I don’t know if this note constitutes judicial notice but I think I have your attention.

I was cited for a parking violation on January 24, 2017.  The specific offense was blocking access to a handicapped space. At this point a combination of Samuel Beckett and Mel Brooks enter the tale. Since I have a duly authorized handicapped card, one that was properly displayed when I parked in the designated handicapped spot, I wondered to whom could I be denying access. Denying access to myself? To someone who wanted to steal my car? I searched in vain for the injured party.

I got my handicapped sticker the old fashioned way: I earned it. 3 titanium joints, 4 strokes, breast cancer, congestive heart failure, a hole the size of a shot glass on the top of my head, a scar that scares vampires on the back of my head, a scleral buckle on my left eye to keep it in, A-Fib, and COPD…. I will not be competing in the senior citizen anaconda wrestling contests, the ones that lighten the Medicare lists while getting senior citizens some much needed outside activities.

On June 13, 2017, I was operated on at Holy Cross Hospital in Fort Lauderdale. The probe, to which was attached a laser beam and, thankfully, a miniature TV camera, was inserted through my penis, into my bladder, through my ureter, and into my damaged kidney. Not halfway through the procedure the anesthesiologist noticed that my heart was heading towards an off sides penalty.  I woke up in ICU where I was destined to have the worst night ever in a hospital. When I was discharged it was with several powerful painkillers, some diuretics, some blood thinners and some unknown kidney drugs. 2 days later I called my attorney and suggested a continuance of my June 21st traffic court date. He called me back and said continuances are not granted in traffic court.

2 matters leap to mind:

#1 – 1/24/17 to 6/21/17, my hearing date, does serious damage to the speedy trial doctrine, no? Keep in mind that I was not accused of a felony.
#2 – I was therefore unable to assist counsel in the presentation of my defense because everything hurt. Not quite like Ricky Ray Rector but at least in the same area code. The highlight of our trip to the court room, a court room just east of Alligator Alley, was the 3-emergency pit pee stops. Seeing as how I neglected to bring a back-up pair of trousers I used 2 johns and one large bush lest I appear in court wearing slacks with publicly announced micturition stains.

The story gets better as the hits kept coming and coming.

The professional and courteous hearing officer announced that the officer who issued the summons need not be present. Somewhere, “in the sacred chords of memory” I remember that someone wrote “to be confronted with the witnesses against him”. I thought that became double-helixed into the warp and woof of our basic freedoms. Those are the freedoms that Judges can neither modify nor amend. They can only confirm. I guess that only counts in Big Boy court.

The hearing office explained the appeals process very clearly. She explained to me that I should take pictures to present during the appellate process. My wit was sufficiently dimmed – better living through chemistry – that I did not ask how I could take pictures of something that wasn’t there. How about a picture of one hand clapping?  “A man upon oath holds his soul in his hands as if it were water. He opens his fingers at his peril.” Suppose I swore that my car was in Allen, Texas the day the [alleged] transgression took place? Why is the word of the mysterious traffic enforcer – I say “mysterious” because I did not have the opportunity to cross examine him. He could be a unicorn rancher in the Bermuda Triangle or have a Sasquatch grandparent. He might even believe in Global Warming – worth more than mine?

The hearing officer then presented me with a payment plan to ease the burden of my fine. Since the amount of the payments was greater than the amount of the fine the difference is implied interest with said interest not being disclosed as such. That clearly places it under the Truth in Lending law – a Federal law, I might add. There is ample precedent saying that the remedy for failing to disclose interest charged is the cancellation of the debt. 

Speaking of debt, that is where all my capital is. I say this because I cannot afford to appeal. It leaves me with a Hobson’s Choice. 

[By the by, should any matters concerning Uber or Lyft come before your tribunal Hobson of Hobson’s Choice may be useful in buttressing your decision, either way.]

N.B. that I began this note by contrasting law and justice. I think I have raised serious issues here. I remember, “with advantages”, Rumpole of TV fame. He said the 2 great English institutions, the ones that deserve to last, are the English breakfast and the presumption of innocence.

I can still get the former. The latter is in mortal peril. Can I use the terms, hackneyed as their promiscuous use makes them, “chilling effect” and “slippery slope”?

It is a small thing, “no bigger than a man’s fist on the horizon”, but one worthy of your attention.

The last time I appealed a lower court decision I wound up in the Supreme Court of the United States. Since the vote was unanimous it fell to the senior Justice to write the opinion. Thus, I became Thurgood Marshall’s last decision. The next day he resigned. I like to think I was the man responsible for Justice Clarence Thomas. At least there was some compensation for my efforts. 

The courtesy of a prompt reply would be greatly appreciated.

Kevin Smith

PS – At least 3 separate Constitutional issues, no? Plus, one in common law and Federal law, yes? Or will it be “He arado en el mar” yet again?

Friday, June 23, 2017

June 22, 2017

Congressman Cedric Richmond
Kommandant – Congressional Black Caucus
200 Derbigny Street #3200
Gretna, LA 70053

Congressman Richmond,

I don’t know if you succeeded Congressman Livingstone, another Black ladron who would and did steal a hot stove, but if you did you have big boots to fill. 

I consider it a sign of racial progress that corrupt Black legislators are increasing at a rate that Affirmative Action advocates can only dream of.  I daresay the big word exponential could be used. Congresswoman Brown of Florida, she of the clock stopping face and meaner than cat shit demeanor, actually said that she stole money to help her keep her boyfriends.  Then we had Alcee Hastings who, after having his black-robed ass impeached and thrown off the Federal bench, was elected from a “safe” seat, a seat so “safe” that Step-N-Fetchit would have been elected. [It would have been unanimous if OJ had run.] The people of Florida, in their collective wisdom, chose to send a convicted felon to Congress rather than send a naïf who would have been corrupted. It saved the time and uncertainty of the learning curve.

But that’s not why I write.

I am going to show my White-privileged elitism by using some terms from traditional Logic. Logic was first constructed by dead White European males to confuse addled 3rd Worlders. It has worked superbly well for 25 centuries  Buckle up, you tomnoddy.

Once you construct a universal from a particular, say for example the melanin overloaded Professor of Sociology at Trinity College who said “White people are inhuman” and, further, should they be shot, EMTs “should let them fucking die”, you have grievously offend Logic. He was referring to your colleague Congressman Scalise whose only sin was that he had an uncle who used to hum “Old Black Joe”. His father liked Amos & Andy and he was thought to have some Heckle & Jeckle comic books when he was 6. That’s reason enough to shoot his cracker ass and let him die. Plus, his Aunt Scarlett thought that the Davis-Bacon Law was a very good way to keep uppity Nigrahs in their place.  Although the law is 85 years old it is still a touchstone of today’s Democratic Party. Maybe they haven’t told you yet but if the Koch Brothers in congress try to repeal it….yikes….will you get your marching orders, right quick. You will be like a swarthy Horatius at the bridge doing your Massa’s bidding. Count on it. Horatius?

[As an aside, how did 8 years of Hope and Change work out for you and yours? How many of the Brothers are farting through silk while they take their first pre- breakfast sip of their first 40 ouncer? 80 years after public housing - Who can forget the glory days of  Pruitt-Igoe and Currie’s Woods? I can’t – there is still one common denominator: nobody, and I mean nobody, wants to live there. The only contender for Hellhole Housing is called Section 8 Housing. Look it up. Get back to me if I’m wrong.]

This ties into your refusal to meet with President Trump how?

Simple enough, you dunce. 

Here’s a scissors. Cut off your nose. Look in the mirror and say “I told you so.”

Have a press conference and insult the guy with the “juice”. Tell him next time it’s Adios to your orejas, Then your thumbs. Then, finally, your Johnson. That will show him, you betcha. [Sometimes I wonder if the things that melanin deprived Professor Murray are falsely accused of saying just might be true.]

More than 60 years after Brown v Board of Education why can’t Kwame and Keisha read as well as Herschel and Hephzibah? More than 60 years after the hugely successful War on Poverty, a war with treasure wasted and lives lost 10 times, 20 times, the amounts charged to all other wars, why are “you” still poor?

And yet “you” march off like zombies to vote for your slave masters. The only thing dumber is Charley Brown falling for Lucy promising that this time she won’t drop the football. Wait a minute. He comes out of an ink bottle. “You” come out of an unaborted womb.  If you are interested in Black genocide try to figure out why 6% of the population [Black women] accounts for more than 35% of the abortions every year. Talk about Affirmative Action on steroids! No confusion about goals not being quotas there.

If OJ gets sprung next month can H. Rap Brown and Willie Horton be far behind?
Why not try to get them a talk show? OJ can talk about how close he is to finding the real killers, Willie can talk about White racism, and can there be any other kind, and how it made him rape and murder, and Brother Brown can talk about his marvelous book “Die Nigger Die”. Now that Oprah is canoodling with Gayle there is a TV opening for articulate Black folks with an edge. 

If you do get to rap with the big guy tell him how much you enjoyed his Comey tapes shtick. [Jews are everywhere, aren’t they?] Tell him it reminded you of Plato and the fast one he pulled on the world with that Atlantis caper. OK, OK it didn’t go 25 centuries but Trump’s heart was in it.

Kevin Smith

PS – Any chance of an autographed copy of “Die Nigger Die”?

Sunday, June 4, 2017

June 2, 2017

Terence T. McDonald
The Jersey Journal
One Harmon Plaza
Jersey City, NJ 07004

RE: Rich Kushner & poor Jersey City -  Some comments on your article about how those “unlucky in life’s lottery” have not shared in the largess and lucre “created” by the conniving 1%ers.

Mr. McDonald,

Did you say the Trumpsters are renting apartments in Jersey City for $5,300 a month? Each month? Every month?

Are they anywhere near Henderson Street? I loaded trucks there for Merchants Refrigerating in 1961. I made $2.80 an hour. [Tony “Pro” was the local Teamsters President] To be fair, it was before the New Frontier and the Great Society kicked in. At that rate I couldn’t afford to drive past the place.

I was born and raised in Bayonne, NJ. And yes, I can tell you stories about Row A All the Way, about why the Hudson County jail was known as the Taj Mahal, about Snake Hill being sold for land fill, about Hague’s 3% kickback and how Beneficial Finance became, after gin mills, the largest commercial renter in Hudson County, about the $900 waste baskets and $4,500 school windows in 1958, and about Uncle Willie, my grandmother’s baby brother, and his time as a sand hog and beer seller in the Holland Tunnel.

After more than a century of modern American Liberal benevolent despotism sections of Jersey City, specifically the non-Trump sections, could be used as a back drop for a sit-com about being an obese, bullied teen in Kabul.

Is there a pattern here?

Chicago, AKA, Baghdad West. Detroit, once known as America’s Athens, now has its urban predators both, 2-legged and 4, Washington, DC, where the Mayor once said, “If you don’t count the murder rate it’s a very safe city”, can’t forget Newark and Camden, [I can’t leave Paterson, Passaic, and Atlantic City off the Garden State urban honor roll, can I?]  St. Louis, Baltimore, Los Angeles…… and on and on and on and on

It would be offensive to Logic to confusingly conflate correlation with causation but I see a pattern developing here.

Where Democrats rule, chaos reigns.

If you have evidence, empirical data as real as your boot, to contradict my imperfect thesis please present it for my perusal.

Do you remember when Hoboken declared itself a nuclear-free zone? I miss the moral clarity of the good old days, don’t you?

Kevin Smith

PS – Do you remember when the Jersey City Medical Center was run by Jersey City? There was a Mayor, would you believe one of 3 who went to prison in a period of less than 20 years with another one having to resign because he wasn’t a citizen, who Xed out the Psychiatry department saying “We’ll have none of the voo-doo in Jersey City”. $63,000 a year in rent? Thank God we have, as you tell us, “Chris Perez, a 40 year old community activist”, to remind us of the fundamental unfairness of it all.
One more thing. 

How in the name of Gene Scanlan, Fred Cranwell, and Cas Rakowski did the Jersey Journal wind up in Secaucus? Why not Short Hills or Essex Fells?
June 2, 2017

Mayor Philip Levine
One Convention Center Drive
Miami Beach, FL 33139

RE: Just two more questions, maybe 3, maybe more

Mayor Levine,

Shades of Peter, the Big Fisherman!

I saw you on TV last night thrice deny the question of “How will the US sending the $3,000,000,000 that Obama promised to the wowsers, bounders, grifters, scalawags, and poltroons of the Paris Accord lower the waters on the gentle streets of Miami Beach? 

Asked 3 times; not answered 3 times.

For the 4th and last time, how will it mitigate the rising seas that threaten to inundate South Beach? Your modern American Liberalism gives you the perfect cover for not answering. Why muss the waters, so to speak, by confusing the issue with inconvenient facts?

BTB, how will you cope with dropping property values, particularly water front properties? 

You mention how proud you are of the pumps you use to lower the rising seas as they cascade on to your streets. [Didn’t Bahama Salama, as Fatso Kennedy used to call him, promise to “cool the earth and calm the seas”? Wasn’t that a “red line in the sand” promise? You don’t have to answer because it may incriminate you.] 

I have asked you, also 3 times, where does the water you pump go? It can’t go East because it would come right back on to Lincoln Road. If you pump it North, the 1%ers at Indian Creek would have your guts for garters. If you pump it South Joe’s Stone Crab will take you off their pol comp list. If you pump it West the EPA will be on you for piscatorial insensitivity like the KKK robes that Senator Robert “Sheets” Byrd [D-WV], the Cicero of the Senate, used to wear.

 Where does the water go?

Kevin Smith
June 4, 2017

75 years after Midway, I can state, unreservedly and unequivocally, that Auden was wrong. Not only wrong, but gravity defyingly wrong. In “September 1, 1939” he said “We must love another or die”.

He wrote that “in a dive on 52nd street at the end of a low, dishonest decade”.

Only one aide: By the time I started to search for that “dive” it had been urban-renewaled out of existence, to be replaced by condos and cocktail lounges. I did find the dive where Dylan Thomas and Brendan Behan hung out. I was most pleased to introduce my son to it. As to the “low, dishonest decade’, ask Walter Duranty or Ambassador Kennedy or Lillian Hellman or any other of the Hitler-loving modern American Liberals who bent over frontwards, backwards, and sidewards to help the thug in the Kremlin.

It is the burnt finger syndrome – The Banality of Evil? – a condition that protects the extended digit from current or future pain, pain caused by past pain, pain coupled with the willing disbelief of civilized people confronting uncivilized people doing what they were genetically coded to do.

Yet again the snarls of “Allah Akbar” fill the night air and yet again innocents are slaughtered by votaries of a religion that considers independent thought or a healthy skepticism that is a hallmark of Western Civilization an apostasy punishable by death. It is a religion that only requires a dull mind, a large van, a sharp knife, a pipe bomb, and a large crowd of unsuspecting infidels. And yes. I and my children have walked on that bridge in London

 2 months after Pearl Harbor we began the messy task of rounding up 150,000 dirty yellow Jap bastards, savage Kraut pricks, and thuggish Dagos. Harsh language? I don’t think so. If Madonna can stand a block from the White House and exhort the mind-numbed robots listening to her to “blow the place up”, if Kathy Griffin, that old side-splitting, knee-slapping comediennecan hold up a severed, bleeding head of Donald Trump that succeeded in scaring the bejeezus out of his 11 year old son – Ken Jennings, listen up, I only have one good leg left but I will kick your ass so hard that you will have to take your socks down to evacuate your bowel – if they can say that and be shielded by the First Amendment, I can say “dirty yellow Jap bastards”, “savage Kraut pricks”, and “thuggish Dago thugs”, can’t I? In fact, if such noted modern American Liberals such as Senator Robert Byrd [D-WVA] and Bill Maher can say the dreaded ‘N’ word, the word that guilt-filled White men dare not say, I can say “nigger” too, can’t I? If I can’t, why can’t I? “Nigger, nigger” because before he came to be known as a modern-day Cicero – the Roman, not the crime town next to Chicago – Byrd, the head Kleagle of the KUKluxKlan, said it twice on national TV.

Nobody, particularly those sages afflicted with “eclectic indignation”, ever cared to comment that FDR, in a stroke of pure political genius, got Earl Warren, the hero of American Progressives, to do the dirty work and heavy lifting of internment by invading the supposedly sacred Census Bureau, just like Sherman did in 1864, and what a glorious surge it led to, and Salama Yobama commanded Lois Lerner to do likewise in 2012. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it.

The people who stormed London Bridge last night, the people who thought they were at Tours, at Malta, at Lepanto, at Vienna, at Omdurman, at the World Trade Center - and who says time doesn’t fly because I just blew through 14 centuries in pursuit of 72 infidel virgins – have chosen to step outside the wide circle of civilized society. Those still inside the circle must react overwhelmingly, disproportionately, indiscriminately, and incessantly.

Since they have no compunction about blowing up little girls, how about, before enhanced interrogations, we have them sleep on a lard bed? How about pig fat IVs? How about pork loin suppositories? How about the menu choice be limited to 2 items? Hog bellies or hog shit. How about giving them either hog skin winter coats or wet tee shirts? How about treating them like they treat us? Dare I say “Kill them all, God will know his own”?

Auden said “In the end we must love one another”.

Attention Englishmen! “Bomber” Harris took 1000 Lancasters over Germany to say “We are coming”. Must we also sharpen the knives of these “filthy little guttersnipes”?

Saint Francis of Assisi, Dorothy Day, and Mother Teresa can only survive in a society that nurtures, protects, and supports them Could Saint Paul go to a Sharia-run country and preach in the temple to the unknown God? No and No. And, unlike the Romans, they would cut his head off because there are no unknown Gods.


Kevin Smith

PS – Speaking of Midway…All hail Torpedo Squadron 8, America’s 20th century Spartans. Also, praise to Cdr. Walter I. Chapman, MD, Corporal Leonard Putnam, Staff Sergeant John Lonergan, PFC Frank Rickey, Denis Greenough, and Steven Gregg. They told us to sleep well because they were on the wall protecting us. Having “seen the elephant” they know what must be done. lest we perish.

June 4, 2017

Mayor Jack Seiler
City Hall
100 North Andrews Aveneu
Ft. Lauderdale. FL 33301

Mayor Seiler,

First of all, I want my $20 back. I sent you the dough to give to the guy who feeds the homeless. I figure that makes him the only true Christian in the joint. Send it back because based on your quotes in today’s Sun Sentinel and your later appearance on Putney’s TV show you are a horse’s ass of Homeric, indeed Brobdanaglian proportions, and probably incapable of counting past 20 unless you are in the shower. By the way, don’t forget to take your shoes off before you turn the water on.

There is a pernicious rum or going around that you were graduated from a supposedly major university and that you are an attorney.

Did you ever take any History courses?
Did you ever read the Constitution?

You say, as if there no adults reading the story, that you will continue to obey the protocols of the Paris Climate Accord. [Pop quiz – Why wasn’t it submitted to the Senate as the Constitution requires, for its advice and consent? Just asking.]

But wait. There’s more.

Does the Florida Constitution and the Ft. Lauderdale charter allow you to conduct foreign policy?

Also, despite the shrill, Noah-like Jeremiads about rising sea levels, have the values of waterfront properties gone down? Shouldn’t you, as Mayor, begin to plan for drastically reduced tax revenues. If, as you like to say, the “science is settled” what will we do when the tsunami of hotel tax dollars and traffic ticket revenues, so to speak, dry up?

Do you think Fanny Mae should continue to buy those mortgages?

Should the people of Iowa continue to insure those properties?

Wouldn’t it be a Section 10b5 violation – you are a lawyer, aren’t you? – one involving civil fraud, if you failed to disclose material information about these risks?

President Trump will not be sending any of the $3,000,000,000 to the poltroons who run the Paris Climate Accord. That’s the first installment on the swag that Obama promised. Should the good citizens of our fair city, along with concerned citizens of other similarly inclined cities, try to make up the difference by raising taxes? That only seems fair, right?

Speaking of foreign policy, did you support Obama’s “red line in the sand” statement about Syria and poison gas?

Would you have supported 3 Presidents in 48 years – all Democrats and thus all modern American Liberals – who promised “never to send American boys to fight in foreign wars”?

Take your time. Plus, it’s an open book test.

Lay off the gin when you take your AM meds.

Kevin Smith

PS – I know you are worried about the drowning polar bears. So are lot of your constituents. May I suggest that you turn off all the A/Cs in municipal buildings for the next 4 months to show your solidarity with them? And how about banning private cars for getting to and from work? You go first. The people, particularly the city employees, will love it and you. I’m betting the over on whether you need more than one hand to find yur ass, OK? Don’t forget my $20?
June 4, 2017

Letters to the Editor
The Sun Sentinel
500 E. Broward Blvd
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394

RE: Expensive at half the price

Sirs and lady,

I want my $3.18 back. In fact, I want everybody’s $3.18 back.

In less time than it takes me to check my manatee traps I read the Sunday Sun Sentinel. I have transferred it to the smallest room in the house in case I run out of Charmin.

If I don’t get the dough, all the dough, right quick, I will, like Madonna, “blow the place up”.

Govern yourself accordingly.

Kevin Smith

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

May 31, 2017

I watch NYPD every night a 6.

Great stories, Great performances. Great gunfights. Great chicks. Great Quality mattress time. Good guys mostly win. Worth watching.

Every episode has a quick shot of the World Trade Center. It made me realize how much I miss it.

I loved the magazine store on the mezzanine of the Tower 1. The only comparable one was on the mezzanine in the Pan-Am building. I took the Lexington Avenue Express to Grand Central Station every Wednesday. An escalator took me right to my copy of Punch containing “Notes from our Ugandan Correspondent” by Alan Coren. It could not be distributed in this country today. Incidentally, if Pan-Am had sold the airline and kept the building it would probably still be around.

Back to the WTC. 

I used to take the H&M to Chambers street to get to Wall Street.

I was one of the last patrons in Malachy McCourt’s downtown ale house before it was shut down -A- for not serving broads and -B-  torn down to build the WTC.

Amy called one day to bitch about the inconvenience of having to take off her Baume & Mercier watch whenever she had to put her hands in water. It was cheaper to buy her a stainless-steel Rolex than it was to hire a maid. I bought it at Kodak’s in Tower One.

The Top of the Tower had the largest collection of single malt whiskys I had ever seen until I got to Jake O’Shaughnessy’s in Seattle. Every Christmas I did my much anticipated, wildly applauded version of Scrooge – “A fine excuse for picking a man’s pocket every 25th of December. You’d feel yourself ill-used if I were to stop you half a crown”.

Despite Wide Bottomed Hillary desperately wanting her Life Achieving daughter Chelsea to be at the WTC on 9/11 rescuing victims, the facts, alas, do not remotely support that tall tale. A quick trip down memory lane includes stops at the Right-Wing Conspiracy, coming under fire in Serbia, and Whitewater. She lies like a rug because she couldn’t lie straight in bed.

I mention the above because she, being a typical veritas-challenged modern American Liberal pol, and in her case a contemptible fat-assed one, has an excuse. She had untruthfulness hard wired into her. Wasn’t she named for Sir Edmund Hillary, the conqueror of Everest? Her feat surpassed his because she was named after him despite being born 5 years before he climbed the firggin’ mountain. Weren’t there a lot of kids born to soccer moms in 2002 who were named Barack?

“Serpentine! Serpentine!” was the cry on the tarmac when she dodged incoming Serbian mortar fire. Maybe.

That’s her excuse. What’s the excuse for the bug-eyed apes who blew up the World Trade Center?
There was no Israel when, despite being a religion of peace, moderation, and female genital mutilation, they raped and pillaged their way across Europe 14 centuries ago. There was no Gitmo that made them lay siege to Malta or sail to Lepanto en route to Rome where they wanted to crucify the Pope and stable their horses in the Sistine Chapel. Cartoons of Big Mo did not make them lay siege to Vienna. [One of the highlights of the Taliban in Afghanistan was the banning of balloons and whistling. Imagine what they would have done with Bach and Mozart?] The Mahdi tried to kill Churchill and Kitchener at Omdurman because he wanted a bigger social safety net for all the Queen’s subjects?

And there was no great Satan and no Gitmo.

 Why did they do it?

From their time at Fatima’s teat they are to taught to kill infidels. [This century’s version of True Sons of the Prophet is opposed to all forms of birth control, specifically abortion, and absolutely in the non-Muslim world. Do the math. If they take a normal rate of casualties killing all the infidels there won’t be nearly enough infidel virgins to go around. What a bummer! Incessant breeding is the only way we can show outreach to them.]

Why did they kill the Jews at the Munich Olympics in 1972? There was no Gitmo. 
Why did they murder Klinghoffer? How about the kosher butcher in Paris?

 If we can’t criticize – mildly and privately so as to not call attention and make them feel outcast – when they say “Death to the Jews because they are descended from pigs and monkeys” what are we to do?

Why do they hate us?

It’s like an AL-Anon meeting. “You didn’t cause it and you can’t cure it.”

Why do they hate us?

I don’t know and I don’t care.

1000 years of inbreeding may be an answer. Do not dive into that genetic pool. 
No splash, just splat. Count how many distinctly Muslim names are on the list of Nobel Prize winners. They may have flown the planes into the WTC but they sure as Hell didn’t build them. If it weren’t for oil the place would be on par withl Paraguay.

Here’s one thing we can do.

Accept that they hate us and want to kill us.

They loudly proclaim that they want to kill me, rape my wife, crucify my son, eat my dog, and sell my daughter into slavery. It’s not their fault if we choose not to believe them

Send me a picture of a Swedish Lutheran terrorist. Send up a flare when same sex bathrooms appear in a Sharia-run country. Practice holding your breath. Keep practicing.
Count backwards by 3s from 79,837.

Stay tuned for merchandise, paraphernalia, tsotchkes, and impedimenta bearing the term MECCA DELENDA EST. Exclusive franchises available.

Kevin Smith

Monday, May 29, 2017

May 28, 2017

State Senator Gary Farmer, Esq.
111 E. Las Olas Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301

Senator Farmer,

If, as you say in your mini Op-Ed in today’s Sun Sentinel, that the 72% approval of medical marijuana should have tipped the legislature to approve it, would not Logic dictate that the 62% voter approval of the ban on same sex marriage should have tipped both the legislature and the courts to uphold it?

This could be a teaching moment. It shows the genius of the Founding Fathers yet again. They, like their intellectual forebears going back 23 centuries, constantly warned us about the dangers of democracy. That’s why they gave us a republic

Of course, one of the joys of being a modern American Liberal, is that no one says Jack poop – to use Nancy Pelosi’s word du jour – when you proudly proclaim that plaid is your favorite color. 

Smelling the inside of the bag before declaring whether you like it is offensive to Logic and a sign of intellectual cowardice without which mALs would perish.

How about having murder cases, especially the gruesome ones, decided by a mob on the steps of the courthouse? How about doing away with all Senates because it is the least democratic form of government? Of course, then electoral college must go also.

If it weren’t for tautologies you wouldn’t have to think at all. You should have kept your helmet on during those pass blocking drills

Kevin Smith
May 28, 2017

Ron Klein, Esq.
Holland & Knight
515 E Las  Olas Blvd
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301

Mr. Klein,

Of course, Reagan, the Great Reagan, was right when he said that “it’s not that modern American Liberals are stupid, it’s just that there’s so much that they don’t know”.

One of the hallmarks of your modern American Liberalism is the “sanctuary zone” that eclectic indignation gives you. It is the cognitive dissonance – 2 ideas, sometimes contradictory, simultaneously held, held fiercely – without which you would surely go bonkers.

In your mini Op-Ed in today’s Sun Sentinel you carp about the arms sale to Saudi Arabia.

Perhaps there are no permanent enemies but only permanent interests. Thus, when Uncle Joe Stalin thought it was in his best interest to make a deal with Hitler, the 1930’s version of modern American Liberals couldn’t wait to snuggle up to old Adolph. Was it he or his pal Mussolini, the first fascist leader who was deeply beloved of the rabid New Deal fans, to get the trains to run on time? I mention trains because despite public transit being the goal of all Broward Democrats ridership was off 10% last year. I’m sure you take the bus to work. You do, don’t you? Anything that helps undrown the polar bears is good, right?

When the hated Nixon went to China even the Democrats applauded it. The fact that Mao had killed ten times as many people as Hitler killed Jews was conveniently sent down the memory hole. The China rapprochement was a counter-balance to what used to be called Soviet hegemony. Jimmy Carter, the undisputed king of the FUBARed 2 car funeral, put that one in the crapper, didn’t he?

In 1982 I was driving North on IS5 in Washington state past the Boeing runway. I counted 4 AWACS jets on the tarmac getting ready to be flown to Saudi Arabia. Those planes were built in America by Americans. That was not quite a $2,000,000,000 transaction. The President sealed a $105,000,000,000 plane deal when he was in Riyadh.
Should he have killed the deal?

The common enemy is Iran, remember?

What’s wrong with sticking a finger in their eye, particularly with someone else paying for it?

One of the highlights, one of the serendipitous things about the Marshall plan, was that more than 90% of the money given to Europe was spent in this country. You can look it up.

I forget.

 Did you oppose the Iran nuclear plan, the one that begins with “Death to America and kill all the Jews”? That was the deal where this country sent Iran $150,000,000,000, most of which was in cash. Nobel Prize winner Rudyard Kipling called that “paying the Dane-Geld”. History tells us that it never works out. Ask the ghost of Neville Chamberlain.

Let me backtrack the Reagan quote.

You are dumb.

Kevin Smith
May 28, 2017

Eleanor Sobel
% The Sun Sentinel Editorial Board
500 E. Broward Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394

Ms. Sobel,

Don’t you love it when upper middle class, somewhat dilettantish, modern American Liberal politicians, chicks who would vote for Dr. Mengele because of his strong stand on abortion, lecture – perhaps hector is the better word -  about the shopping habits of “deplorables”? I do.

Let me digress.

Only someone afflicted with near terminal eclectic indignation can babble on about the need for stricter photo ID laws when an inner-city youth wants to buy a 40-ounce malt liquor to help him get through the day. Would not Logic dictate that such due diligence be extended to the voting booth?

 Silly me! I almost forgot.

 As a card-carrying, fire breathing modern American Liberal, a lady who would rather spend a weekend in a sleeping bag with 2 rabid wolverines than be thought of as a racist, a lady who desperately wants manatee suffrage, someone who just knows that the 10% drop in public transit usage this past year was caused by Trump, such enforcement would be wrong and mean spirited and just one more sign of how really, really evil those rat bastard Republicans are.

Did I tell you I’m from Hudson County, New Jersey? Death was never a deterrent to universal suffrage, particularly when Row A All the Way was the signature of the Democratic Party.

Did you know that the Vietnam Wall began in Duval County, Texas? In 1948 Abe Fortas “found” 4,000 “lost” votes? I know it’s hard to believe but they were almost all in alphabetical order. You believe that was random selection, right? Anyway, after a frantic week of counting and recounting and re-recounting “Landslide Lyndon” got to the Senate, got to the White House, and the rest is, as is oft-times said, History.

Also, there are new rules for criticizing Walmart, the bane of Mom & Pop stores.

 The only mAL pols who can criticize big box stores, stores that inflict wanabee deplorables with the curse of low prices and unlimited choice, are those who never bought a book at Amazon.

 Did you get  your copy of “A Theory of Justice” at Borders?

Good talking to you.

It was a dark, dirty, and dangerous job but if I don’t do it who will? And if I don’t, in some strange way, the terrorists win.

Kevin Smith

PS – Do you know if the Sentinel, ever the lead dog in the pack fighting for social justice, ever took care of the brave matadors who sold their paper on the busy, life threatening streets of Broward County? It would have been the right thing to do. Readers won’t mind spending more for their paper. 

Sunday, May 28, 2017

May 27, 2017

27 Coptic Christians – The physician who examined and treated me on Wednesday last is a Coptic Christian – in Egypt, on a bus going to an 1800-year-old shrine to pray, were gunned down by – Dare I say? – radical Muslim terrorists. Let me change that. Radical has lost its sting. How about feral? How about not quite moderate practitioners of a religion known for its irenic practices?

It would be fraud if I failed to mention that another true son of the Prophet, and blessed be his name, blew up 22 people in Manchester, England. His target was young girls attending a concert for young girls. Always hunt where the ducks are knows no doctrinal boundaries.

The shrine that they never did get to pray at predates the arrival of Mohammed, that goat humping paedophile, by 4 centuries. Orwell, and can we ever thank him enough, told us that if we control the past we control the present.

Spare me the usual modern American Liberal bullshit about “outreach”, about “inclusiveness”, about “diversity”, about “tolerance”, and such nit-wit clap trap as “sanctuary cities”. These are infantile terms that preclude the existence of concupiscence and man’s inclination towards evil. The Western elite have been denying it since a bunch of Jews were killed at Munich in 1972. They were killed by “filthy little gutternsipes” who told us how great their god was as they pulled the trigger or sliced the nearest throat. 

Israel had a simple defense policy. It’s how they got past 1947. It’s how they survived ‘til today. “Shoot back” and, if possible, “shoot first”. A score of Barbra Streisands singing perpetual choruses of Kumbayas and “Imagine” would not have deterred one burnoosed killer from the swift completion of his appointed rounds. [I may be going out on a limb here but since I declared “Imagine” the worst song written in the 20th century and since the only way I make it to the end of the 21st century is in the fading memories of my granddaughters’ grandchildren – Who was the good-looking guy with the beard and the mysterious grin that Grandma always talked about? – I declare, nihil obstat, that “Imagine” is the worst song of the 21st century also. That’s a risk worth taking.} 

How about getting the old band together, men like General Sherman, Sergeant Cutter, Dirty Harry, Sergeant McChesney, Aeschylus, Chuck Wepner, William F. Buckley, Bear Bryant, Bill Benak, C.S. Lewis, El Cid, Sergeant McChesney, Donny Nowicki, Chuck Yeager, Jackson – Andy, not Jesse, Lt. Cdr. Ernest Evans, Cervantes, another Brave Horatius – Clio tells us that there will always be a gate that must be defended, the heirs of Torpedo Squadron 8, Roland, Henry the 5th, Vinny Curfaro, Milton Friedman, inter alia? Send them forward to smite the invader, wherever they may be.

As recently as yesterday, as far back as almost 1400 years ago, snarling mad men come howling out of the desert and tell me in plain language that they are going to kill me, rape my wife, crucify my son, and sell me my daughter into bondage. It’s not their fault that no one believed, believes, them. In fact, many intended victims, John Adams for example, made excuses for them. It was Jefferson who reversed that dumb-ass national policy while giving rise to the word “Leatherneck”.

I am reminded of a sermon I heard 60 years ago, about a farmer selling his mule. He tells the prospective buyer that not only is this the hardest working mule in the county but he is the smartest. He tells the mule that it is time to go to work. The mule jumps up, sharpens the plow, puts his harness on, and charges out of the barn. A week later the buyer calls and says the only time he gets up is to eat and pee. Plus, he laughs at me. The seller goes to his neighbor’s barn where he picks up a 2x4 and hits the mule right between the eyes. The mule jumps up, harnesses himself, and heads to the field for plowing, stopping only to fix a broken post.

The seller apologized to the buyer as he tells him “I forgot to tell you that first you have to get his attention”.

WOGs, mules, what’s the difference?

A thousand years ago, for whatever reasons, they turned inward. They began to eat their own seed corn. They turned their backs on reasoned discourse, critical inquiry, the scientific method, and the healthy skepticism that says “Prove it”. They stopped refreshing their genetic pool which is why so many of them can look through a keyhole with both eyes. You don’t have to be in the shower to count the distinctly Muslim names on the Nobel Prize winners list. 

In January, 1974, after fracking my first well in Duval County, I drove to Houston to meet the son of my father’s first cousin. [Duval County is where Lyndon Johnson came to be known as “Landslide Lyndon”. Aided by his good friend Abe Fortas, LBJ managed to find 4,000 uncounted votes, most of which were in alphabetical order, with 99% of them voting for Johnson. 1948. Congressman Johnson became Senator Johnson. The rest is, alas, History. The Vietnam Wall began close to the King Ranch. Look it up.]

After stopping at the cemetery to salute his parents – in both our houses there was no such thing as a large whisky – he told me of how he came to have a Master’s degree in Chemical Engineering and was the general manager of an oil refinery. 

In 1919, his father, along with 2 dozen other Irish-Catholics. left Bayonne, NJ on a barge bound for Pasadena, TX. Their job was to build an oil refinery for Jersey Standard, now Exxon. As the company provided priest was saying Mass one Sunday morning, the KuKluxKLan, the same one that Senator Robert Byrd {D-WVA}, one time head regional Kleagle belonged to, came thorough and shot the place up. A week later the Bayonne Irish-Catholic emigres shot back. The Klan never came back. Not long after, his father came to be the first Grand Knight of the Knights of Columbus in Houston.

Civilizations must protect themselves. 

No one else will. No one else can.
And yes, we must draw a line, a red line, in the sand.

And, yes, we must defend it fiercely.

Belloc told us more than a century ago that beyond that line “we are watched by large and awful faces and on those faces there is no smile”.

“Once more, dear friends, once more…’


Thursday, May 25, 2017

May 24, 2017

B & V

Is it time, finally, at long last, for a world-wide “Winston is back” moment? It was your countryman who told us that “after the first death, there is no other”.

Manchester is blown apart by men who came straight from Tours, from the siege at Malta, from Lepanto, from Vienna – think of the world without Bach or Mozart – from Omdurman, from 9/11. Each of them, all of them, heard the rabidly feral “Allah Akbar” coming from their fellow thugs as they slaughtered those unfortunate enough to be in front of them.

Abraham Lincoln said, “The Constitution is not a suicide pact”. Your forebears had no problem killing more Catholics in the 16th century than Spain. You may remember me telling you that English judges had no problem cutting Amy’s cousin’s head off in 1649. It was Kipling who warned us of the folly, of the danger of “paying the Dane-geld”.

“One used and butchered me: another spied
 Me broken – for which thing a hundred died.
So it was learned among the heathen hosts
How much a freeborn woman’s favours costs.”

My Texas Ladies are Florida bound in June. 3 of them are of an age that would have had them in the Manchester arena.

Nolo tangere cum impecunis!


PS – Would you think ill of me if I were to say that Enoch Powell was right? And, if we cede the moral high ground to these “trousered apes” by allowing them to call on God for approbation while your country and mine do everything possible to distance ourselves from any deity, may I suggest a return to “Deus vult” may be in order? 
“God Save the Queen” was played at Yankee Stadium last night before a baseball game.

“When Pericles spoke, people said how well he speaks.

When Demosthenes spoke, people said Let us March!”

Monday, May 15, 2017

May 12, 2017

Corporal Leonard Putnam
May 25, 1945

He’s still dead.

I’ve been writing about him since May 25, 1997, with the last 10 years available on my blog warriorbardit.blogspot.com. Open to May 25.

A Japanese mortar round blew his upper right quadrant clean off on Okinawa on May 25, 1945.

He was a 42-year-old piano salesman from Jersey City, NJ who married my wife’s great aunt Millie. They had no children.  I do this every year to keep his memory alive.

I will be otherwise engaged this May 25th so I thought I would get this out early.
[I had another relative who was killed in combat. He died on July 2, 1863 in the Wheat Field at Gettysburg. Perhaps he heard “Garryowen”, the theme song of the New York 69th Regiment, the Irish Brigade. Perhaps not. He came from Ballyglass, County Galway, Province of Connaught, in what is now the Republic of Ireland to die “that freedom may live”. He is still there, “wrapped in his faded coat of Blue”}

Each died facing the front.

Before “Top Gun” there was “The Bridges of Toko-Ri”. The latter far, far exceeds the former in 2 ways: #1 – Better action scenes and #2 - a far, far better looking leading lady.

There is also the final scene where the Admiral, being informed that Lt. Brubaker, Naval Aviator, has been killed by the North Koreans, turns to the camera and asks, “Where do we find such men?” We call them and they appear. Some of them stay. Forever. To them we say thank you.

“Tell the Spartans, stranger passing by,
That here obedient to their laws we lie.”

“As the stars that shall be bright when we are dust.
Moving in marches upon the heavenly plain,
As the stars that are starry in the time of our darkness,

To the end, to the end, they remain.

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

May 1, 2017

Kathleen Cannon – CEO
The United Way
One South Andrews Avenue
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33316

RE: “Death be not proud”

Ms. Cannon,

Me again.

I trust; indeed I hope, that you are familiar with Walker Percy for 2 reasons.

#1 – He wrote the introduction to “A Confederacy of Dunces”, the great American novel, long after the author, John Kennedy Toole, killed himself. If you read the intro and don’t buy and devour the book, put it down, walk quickly away, and never, ever tell anyone.

#2 – One of his great prose lines is “The back door of an abortion mill leads straight to Auschwitz”.

Your mini Op-Ed in Sunday’s Sun Sentinel suggests that you have been spending too much time genuflecting at the shrine of Margaret Sanger. It is impossible to say her name without mentioning that she was Hitler’s favorite American, with Joe Kennedy being a close second. He so admired her words and deeds that he dedicated his Race Laws of 1934 to her. Those were the laws that enabled him to kill 12,000,000 people.

If we become too familiar with death – 4th trimester abortions & mercy killings – it loses its sting.

Tread lightly.

Indeed, it is a slippery slope because “after the first death there are no others”.

Kevin Smith
April 30, 2017

Mayor Jack Seiler
100 N. Andrews Avenue
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301

RE: “…and the greatest of these is charity”

Mister Mayor,

Who says you can’t trust politicians?

I’m from Hudson County, New Jersey. Bayonne, to be precise. I know about pols and white envelopes stuffed with Benjamins. [Two of my favorite stories are about the $900 waste baskets and $4,500 windows. High end interior decorating? Maybe. But you have to remember that Eisenhower was President and the Vietnam Wall wasn’t yet a twinkle in Senator Johnson’s eye. But’s that’s a tale for a different time.] Meantime, now that Dr. Melgram has been found guilty, keep an eye on Senator Menendez as he does the modern American Liberal pavane to keep his meretriciously mendacious arse out of the pokey.

I was reading the Page 1 story in today’s Sun Sentinel about Arnold Abbott, the not-quite public nuisance 92-year-old whose sole goal in life is to feed the hungry.

It is a noble end, which alas and Antigone, bangs into an existing law that prohibits it. I suppose you could invoke John C. Calhoun and his ever increasingly popular Theory of Nullification, ignore the law, and feed the homeless.

Of course, if you do this you are narrowing the gap between the Scylla and Charybdis as it applies to “faithfully executing the laws”. How much leeway do you get in choosing which laws to enforce. Of course, if you are Governor Cuomo speaking at Notre Dame at a graduation about abortion you get to hear the siren call of “penumbras” and “permutations” that say it is OK to have plaid as your favorite color.

Enclosed is a bill that if it were to fall from a table someone would pick it up.

Would you be so kind as to see that Mister Abbott, a leading proponent of the Corporal Works of Mercy, can continue his good works?

Kevin Smith
May 1, 2017

Congressman Ted Deutch
7900 Glades Road #250
Boca Raton, FL 33434

Congressman Deutch,

If, as you say in the mini Op-Ed section of Sunday’s Sun Sentinel, ”Republicans are undermining Democracy…by ignoring the 73% of Floridians who voted in favor of solar power”, would not Logic dictate that ignoring the 62% of Floridians who voted against same sex marriage is another example of Democracy being undermined?

Could this be another example of nullification, as in ignoring a law that you don’t like, by applying it to referenda that you don’t like?

A quick reading of the Founding Fathers shows that they feared the excesses of Democracy because of the mob rule danger. Perhaps you never read that chapter. Or worse, perhaps you did.

As a constituent may I expect the courtesy of a reply?

Kevin Smith

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

April 26, 2017

Gary Stein
The Sun Sentinel

Big Stein,

A Christian mitzvah is about to descend on you. I don’t want you out there, totally unprepared, when, to quote Senator Summer Winter Fall Warren, AKA Liawatha, the “poop” hits the fan. Senator Warren, the paradigmatic template of forked tongue hypocritical modern American Liberals – Did I just repeat myself? – now pitches her tent in Harvard Square where she can better give drunken Redskins a good name.

That’s why I want you to be ready, to have mucho arrows in your ideological quiver, the ones that enable you to slay the shibboleths sure to come with the new Trump tax plan.

Like the homophobic Boy Scouts of old used to say to little old ladies, “Be prepared”.

“It is a patriot’s duty to arrange his affairs in such 
a manner that he pays the least amount of taxes
possible. At best, taxation is an enforced exactitude,
not a voluntary contribution.”

Who said that?
What was the context?

Get smart right quick about such deadly, dull things as Subchapter ‘S’ corporations, about accelerated depreciation, about the difference between a tax deduction and a tax credit, about debits and credits. Stuff like that.

Resist the temptation to babble on about Clinton’s balanced budget and his surplus. In the vernacular, “It sounds like bullshit to me”. 

When the construction of a Nimitz-class carrier and Midnight Basketball are treated the same on the Federal balance sheet, when the co-mingling of Social Security funds didn’t cause Treasury SWAT teams to arrest everybody involved – Here’s another Pop Quiz. Why weren’t the Clinton surpluses used to pay down the national debt? It wasn’t. Not by a thin dime or a red cent – when contingent liabilities become 4 letter words, when the vaunted “lock box”, the one that everyone fought about 17 years ago, was last seen trying to catch the Pioneer Space Probe, it may be time to reach for a stun grenade.

If the Sun Sentinel ran their books the way the Feds run theirs your formerly bankrupt company would disappear a la Solyndra.

Don’t let anyone bamboozle you with the typical modern American Liberal flapdoodle, nit-wit balderdash about tax cuts having to pay for themselves, or they have to be revenue neutral, or they have to disproportionately help those with little or no income, the folks that Congressman Gephardt, Howdy-Doody to his BFF, said were “unlucky in life’s lottery”. God’s Holy Trousers, but how do you cut taxes on someone who has no tax liability?

“Even the Devil can quote scripture” so I hope you don’t mind if I cite the great Lord Keynes. Alas, he is a man more quoted than read. In addition to predicting World War 2 in 1920 and running a successful hedge fund, his constant advice was for the central bank to buy government bonds, cut taxes, and “loosen the animal spirits”.

I am going to let you in on a little secret.

Rich people hire poor people for 2 reasons:

#1 – They want to stay rich.
#2 – They want to get richer.

Poor people work for rich people for 2 reasons:

#1 – They like eating.
#2 – They want to be rich, like the people who hire them.

Any government policy that advances these things is good. Any government policy that impedes them is bad.

Any fool who believes that raising taxes, raising barriers to job creation, raising the minimum wage [And yes, I have worked for the minimum wage and was fired from the job because, as the manager said, “Business sucked”. I wanted to be unemployed at a higher minimum wage but I couldn’t swing the deal.] should not be allowed to operate heavy equipment. Of course, “twisting truth to make to make a trap for fools” may be the only career path open to them. MSNBC is “the last refuge for these scoundrels”.

Now that modern American Liberals have taken to re-hab John Calhoun and his Theory of Nullification, the theory that said it was OK for a state to allow slavery because they “nullified” any Federal law that challenged it, I have 2 things to share with you.

While checking on my manatee traps early this AM, I heard a train whistle for almost 3 minutes as it was heading South. I am sure it woke Bowser whose barking awakened little Herschel whose squeals disturbed any number of disabled senior citizens, folks like me. I was up anyway so it was no big deal. BTB, 4-month-old manatee sushi with a hint of Sriracha is to die for.

Pass a law banning train whistles after 10:00 PM. You won’t have to arrest more than 2 engineers for the rest of them to get the message.
The Feds may take umbrage at this, like they did in May, 2016. That was when Loretta Lynch, after getting the OK from Mr. Hillary Clinton, they guy who gave her her first big job in 1998, gave every school district in America 5 business day to comply with the Federal regulation about non-gender specific. She wanted toilet seats on urinals or she would stop all Federal funding for education. 

Thank God a Federal Judge put a stop to that.

OOOPS! Strike that. Nobody stopped Obama. The Judge stopped Trump. Go figure. I guess sauce for the goose is not necessarily sauce for the gander. Yet again, the beauty of modern American Liberal “eclectic indignation” is made manifest.

Maybe we should stick to jobs.

Kevin Smith

April 25, 2017

Gary Stein
The Sun Sentinel


Big Stein:

After an exhaustive nationwide search, a search that included “fly-over states”, turn coat states, Blue states, Red states, and Mauve states, and states that oppose abortion and favor capital punishment, the Committee, with several vigorous dissents, has chosen you to be ground zero, the ten ring, the piñata, the catcher on the javelin team, of modern American Liberalism.

I say this because this week promises to knot modern American Liberal knickers into a state of randyness surpassed only by a gaggle of rutting Kardashians.

#1 – The second female Muslim M.D. was arrested for female genital mutilation. You’ll have no adult problems finding that damned elusive G-spot if yours was filleted away when you were 6. 

Here comes the sticky part.

Modern American Liberals are justifiably proud of their diversity, their exclusive inclusivity, and their never-ending fight against “cultural arrogance”. [A word or two about the term “cultural arrogance”. It was coined by Anthony Lewis, late of the New York Times, who used it to castigate anyone who was opposed to Pol Pot and his killing of 1/3rd of his country, said country being Cambodia. Honest Injun. You could look it up.]

Sharia law, be it Sunni or Shiite, condones female genital mutilation. One of them allows a swab of Preparation H pre-op and some baby aspirin – that’s because they are babies – post-op. I am not sure which one does and which doesn’t. What difference does it make? Allah is always Akbar, right?

If the “twinkie defense”, the one that got Mayor Moscone’s killer off the hook, is an example of zealous defense tactics why not say that the Koran says it’s Kosher? Since, as previously stated, Allah is so friggin’ Akbar where do simple mortals come off trying to get over on the Big Boss.

Wouldn’t it be great if Justice Gorsuch got to cast the deciding vote? Who says God, by whatever name He chooses to call Himself, doesn’t have a sense of humor?

Anyway, I ask you to give me a head’s up on what the Elders of modern American Liberalism will say when they speak ex catherda. Professional courtesy.

#2 – A proposal to cut the corporate tax rate by more than 50% will be introduced this week. [I have a long-held premise, one that I defend brilliantly, that corporations don’t pay taxes. Never have, never will. Don’t worry. They get paid. Their customers or their end users pay them. Sometimes their shareholders pay them. You can look that one up too.]

That the hive filled with mentally awry, about a quarter of a bubble off plumb, modern American Liberals will roil the masses with banshee caterwauling about “fairness” and my favorite from the pen of the late, lamented Harriet van Horne, she of the pre-Murdoch New York Post, who in a fit of lachrymosity, would conjure up the image of “another lash on the backs of the poor”, there can be no doubt.

Here’s my question. 

How do you cut taxes for someone with no income?

4 times in the last 95 years the result of tax cuts has been phenomenally beneficial, particularly to those who are “unlucky in life’s lottery”. Just one more thing you can look up.

#3 – You gave us a lower-case snarky definition of Republican book-burning Sunday last.

Buckle up. It’s going to be bumpy ride.

A – Should Ann Coulter be given police protection when she speaks? The Nazi wanabees got it at Skokie, remember?
B – Howard Dean, he of the primal political howl, said “Hate speech is not protected by the Constitution”. “Twinkle, Twinkle” is but that doesn’t need a 2nd Amendment to defend it. Pop quiz – Who said “We must have room for what we hate”?
C – What would Justice Brennan, Justice Douglas, indeed, Justice Black say about Middlebury College and CAL-Berkeley? “Prior restraint” gets a whole new meaning when it is accompanied by pepper spray and a smack in the chops.

When did modern American Liberals, self-proclaimed champions of the underdog and the most vulnerable members of society, unborn babies excepted, become ignorant of History? When did they become forgetful of Natural Law, the one that told us of the gifts that were ours at birth, “gifts from beyond the stars”? These were the gifts that guided the hands of our Founding Fathers. These were the gifts that gave us a Constitution, a guide for what government can do and a Bill of Rights that told us what a government cannot do. 

Norman Rockwell gave us a portrait of one man standing in front of others and speaking his mind. The dreaded Word Police would not let him do that today. And, worse, they would be praised by the more enlightened among us.

When did the face of the Democratic Party become covered with a black bandana? When did the voice of the Democratic Party become the “Go Fuck Yourself” greeting from the SEIU thugs in Wisconsin? Remember, that was when Obama was busy “calming the seas and cooling the earth”. When did a brick through a window followed by a kick in the teeth replace “Happy Days are Here Again”?

Confusion is sweeping over me like a “wine dark sea”.

Please help me understand the squared circle, the one that sits on the 4-sided triangle, of modern American Liberalism.

Kevin Smith

PS – Washington, DC has local elections where Republicans not only must have 2 photo IDs, a record of their vaccinations, and a note from the precinct captain before they can vote. Did you know that the city council outlawed the word “niggardly” and fired the city employee who used it? Did you know that in 2006 Senator Obama, Senator Schumer, and Senator Clinton voted in favor of the wall on the Mexican border? I think it was because it was supposed to keep bigoted Americans in rather than feral 3rd Worlders out.
Either way, they voted for it. What was the name of the guy who was killed with Moscone? He was a paedophile, wasn’t he? Will the Sentinel ever publish the Mohammed cartoons?
Just kidding. Speaking of free speech, Obama is going to get $400,000 from a Wall Street firm to speak to them. Not as good as Handsome Billy from Hot Springs or his wide bottomed, put upon and much abused lady but not bad for a community activist