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We all know the usual reasons why we are prodded to read the classics — moving characters, seminal ideas, blueprints of our culture, and paradigms of sterling prose and poetry. Then we nod and snooze.
But there are practical reasons as well that might better appeal to the iPhone generation that is minute-by-minute wired into a collective hive of celebrity titillation, the cool, cooler, and coolest recent rapper, or the grunting of “ya know,” “dah,” and “like.” After all, no one can quite be happy with all that. ...
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Saturday, May 18, 2013
Monday, April 29, 2013
April 26, 2013
Stephen L. Goldstein
The Sun Sentinel
RE: How higher and higher taxes alone will save us from Muslim terrorists – Did I just repeat myself? – and the horrors of bullying. Some comments on your column in today’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel
My dear Professor,
You may be on to something what with the superb way public servants performed at this century’s version of the Boston Massacre.
It is obvious that these brave people rose to extraordinary heights in proportion to their increases in marginal tax rates, A reverse supply side, if you will. If I can find some way to get the words “exponential” and “retroactive” into the last sentence these boys in blue will be able to leap tall buildings AND rescue the Post Office and the Department of Motor Vehicles. After doing that by next Tuesday they will cure the 3 year backlog at the Veterans’ Administration. And then, G-d willing, we will all be farting through silk. Then they will make Johnny read and will get the Croats and the Serbs to stop feuding like the Hatfields and McCoys. After they do that they will make les merdes Quebecois behave nicely. If not nicely then at least not unnicely.
I wonder if any part of the Boston Marathon went through a “gun free” zone. If it did why didn’t it stop the crazed Jihadists? Is it a question of education or are we just “culturally arrogant”? If only we could reach out to these people. I mention this because, as a former resident of Hudson County, I recall with chest bursting pride when Hoboken, the home of Frank Sinatra and “On the Waterfront” declared itself to be a nuclear free zone. There was some confusion when community activists broke into the hospital and tried to steal the X-ray machines but the out-reach reach out program solved that. Don’t bother Googling it. I can tell you that for the last 28 years no nuclear weapons have been used in or around Hoboken.
Don’t you love it when good things happen to good people?
You committed an unintentional gaffe when you spoke the truth about the priapristic desire that sits caged in the heart of every modern American Liberal.
You write…
“We can do without the tea party/GOP
before we do without them.”
The Sun Sentinel
Today
You
Since you are an alumnus and devoted zealot of the Professor Irwin Corey School of Reasoned Discourse I am not really sure what in the name of Strunck & White that sentence means. It seems to me that deep down, alongside your embarrassing shorts and curlies, you would looooooooove to have one party rule.
4th trimester abortion, Midnight Basketball, alternative shopping, no more veal, 105% tax rates, undrowned polar bears, all high school ball games ending in scoreless ties, manatee suffrage, “All them corn fields and Lenin at night”…all it would take is One Party.
You may wish to recall why the poet said the 1930s were “a low, dishonest decade”. At the beginning of it all modern American Liberals thought Mussolini had the right formula for enlightened governance. After all, he got the trains to run on time, didn’t he? It’s OK if you don’t believe me. Look it up.
Thomas Friedman, 3 time winner of the Pulitzer Prize from the New York Times, a laurel he shares proudly with Walter Duranty – Google him, please - and the head warlock of the ink stained wretches of the wing nut, “moon bat” battalion of modern American Liberalism, writes that a progressive carbon tax is the only way to honor the dead of the latest Boston Massacre.
That’s so Goddamned dumb it makes my hair hurt. If a school crossing guard were to say ca-ca like that you would Baker Act him into 2 weeks of Thorazine enemas while you tried to figure out if why his EEG looked like Death Valley. Not only is the emperor naked he couldn’t find his ass using both hands.
Much of Warrren Buffet’s speech about income tax rates and his secretary focused on the simple fact that she was paying a higher rate than he was.
Even though Mr.& Mrs. Barack Obama live rent free in the largest single occupant public housing project in Washington, even though dudes with Uzis mow his lawn, even though the only check he has picked up in 5 years is the golf shirt his soon to be steatyagonous wife got him for Ramadan, even though his kids go to private school – What the Hell is wrong with the really fine public schools in Washington? - in an Abrams tank, even though his kids go on spring break with almost as many armed men as those who invaded Vera Cruz, even though his mother-in-law is living rent free in the White House [Who pays for her meals?],…..Jeezus Haitch Keerist but that’s a lot of free stuff…. he paid taxes at the princely rate of 18%.
That ain’t fair.
Maybe for the Koch Brothers but not for a guy who wants to ”spread the wealth around”, remember? If you disagree send up a flare.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Stephen L. Goldstein
The Sun Sentinel
RE: How higher and higher taxes alone will save us from Muslim terrorists – Did I just repeat myself? – and the horrors of bullying. Some comments on your column in today’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel
My dear Professor,
You may be on to something what with the superb way public servants performed at this century’s version of the Boston Massacre.
It is obvious that these brave people rose to extraordinary heights in proportion to their increases in marginal tax rates, A reverse supply side, if you will. If I can find some way to get the words “exponential” and “retroactive” into the last sentence these boys in blue will be able to leap tall buildings AND rescue the Post Office and the Department of Motor Vehicles. After doing that by next Tuesday they will cure the 3 year backlog at the Veterans’ Administration. And then, G-d willing, we will all be farting through silk. Then they will make Johnny read and will get the Croats and the Serbs to stop feuding like the Hatfields and McCoys. After they do that they will make les merdes Quebecois behave nicely. If not nicely then at least not unnicely.
I wonder if any part of the Boston Marathon went through a “gun free” zone. If it did why didn’t it stop the crazed Jihadists? Is it a question of education or are we just “culturally arrogant”? If only we could reach out to these people. I mention this because, as a former resident of Hudson County, I recall with chest bursting pride when Hoboken, the home of Frank Sinatra and “On the Waterfront” declared itself to be a nuclear free zone. There was some confusion when community activists broke into the hospital and tried to steal the X-ray machines but the out-reach reach out program solved that. Don’t bother Googling it. I can tell you that for the last 28 years no nuclear weapons have been used in or around Hoboken.
Don’t you love it when good things happen to good people?
You committed an unintentional gaffe when you spoke the truth about the priapristic desire that sits caged in the heart of every modern American Liberal.
You write…
“We can do without the tea party/GOP
before we do without them.”
The Sun Sentinel
Today
You
Since you are an alumnus and devoted zealot of the Professor Irwin Corey School of Reasoned Discourse I am not really sure what in the name of Strunck & White that sentence means. It seems to me that deep down, alongside your embarrassing shorts and curlies, you would looooooooove to have one party rule.
4th trimester abortion, Midnight Basketball, alternative shopping, no more veal, 105% tax rates, undrowned polar bears, all high school ball games ending in scoreless ties, manatee suffrage, “All them corn fields and Lenin at night”…all it would take is One Party.
You may wish to recall why the poet said the 1930s were “a low, dishonest decade”. At the beginning of it all modern American Liberals thought Mussolini had the right formula for enlightened governance. After all, he got the trains to run on time, didn’t he? It’s OK if you don’t believe me. Look it up.
Thomas Friedman, 3 time winner of the Pulitzer Prize from the New York Times, a laurel he shares proudly with Walter Duranty – Google him, please - and the head warlock of the ink stained wretches of the wing nut, “moon bat” battalion of modern American Liberalism, writes that a progressive carbon tax is the only way to honor the dead of the latest Boston Massacre.
That’s so Goddamned dumb it makes my hair hurt. If a school crossing guard were to say ca-ca like that you would Baker Act him into 2 weeks of Thorazine enemas while you tried to figure out if why his EEG looked like Death Valley. Not only is the emperor naked he couldn’t find his ass using both hands.
Much of Warrren Buffet’s speech about income tax rates and his secretary focused on the simple fact that she was paying a higher rate than he was.
Even though Mr.& Mrs. Barack Obama live rent free in the largest single occupant public housing project in Washington, even though dudes with Uzis mow his lawn, even though the only check he has picked up in 5 years is the golf shirt his soon to be steatyagonous wife got him for Ramadan, even though his kids go to private school – What the Hell is wrong with the really fine public schools in Washington? - in an Abrams tank, even though his kids go on spring break with almost as many armed men as those who invaded Vera Cruz, even though his mother-in-law is living rent free in the White House [Who pays for her meals?],…..Jeezus Haitch Keerist but that’s a lot of free stuff…. he paid taxes at the princely rate of 18%.
That ain’t fair.
Maybe for the Koch Brothers but not for a guy who wants to ”spread the wealth around”, remember? If you disagree send up a flare.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
April 22, 2013
Rachel Patron
The Sun Sentinel
RE: Pulitzer Prizes and what’s that smell? – Some comments on your oh so unctuous column in Saturday’s paper.
Ms. Patron,
Yes, Virginia, there is a terra incognita once you get past hubris, an ailment most common to card carrying, fire breathing modern American Liberals. It is filled with people reeking of “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”. Even though you are saturated with it you may not know its exact meaning. Send a SASE and I will explain it fully.
As to the ideological split between Fox News – full disclosure requires me to tell you that K. Rupert Murdoch was a limited partner of mine – and the rest of the gravity defying world of mAL electronic zombies – full disclosure again compels me to say that Ed Asner, that old Alger HIss loving lefty and Democratic Congressman Jack Brooks of Texas and Democratic Congressman Fernand St. Germain of Rhode Island were also limited partners of mine – the people have spoken.
If the ratings competition between Fox and everybody else were a prize fight it would have been stopped 3 rounds ago.
Roger Ailes has proven to be a burst of sunshine to the vampire-filled world of MSNBC, CNN, and former Vice President Alpha Gump’s cable TV station, the one he sold to the peace loving towel heads for a gazillion gas guzzling dollars. Ailes has done to those anti-intellectual droids what Sherman should have done to Savannah and Charleston. As is said in China, “That rice is cooked”.
[As an aside, exactly where and when, and most importantly, how did the Reverend Al Sharpton become a “Reverend”? Street smart anti-Semitic hustler? Absolutely. An heir to Edward R. Murrow? Absolutely not. Sometimes he is so God Damned dumb he makes my finger nails curl backward. He is meaner than cat shit which is why I named my last cat after him. The cat was OK; Al ain’t.]
Your disparagement of cable news, a sport that should have a daily limit, leads you to praise print journalism. You cite the winning of a Pulitzer Prize by the Sun Sentinel as proof that America may yet come to their senses by believing that the way to cure poverty is to make the poor rich by making the rich poor. Alas, as long as the name Walter Duranty remains undisturbed on the walls of the Hall of Fame of the New York Times, America’s leading newspaper, the Pulitzer Prize and print journalism remain on probation. You may want to Google his name. He is the best example of “eclectic indignation”, a mind-set without which the Progressives in this country would not live.
At least the Washington Post cursed the name of Janice Cook. You may want to Google her name.
There is some good news on the horizon.
The Koch Brothers may buy the Sun Sentinel.
That thought fills me with inestimable delight.
Statues of Milton Friedman, Russell Kirk, William F. Buckley, Jr. and a picture of Andrew Breitbart in the lobby. Readings from Calvin Coolidge in the cafeteria. An essay contest on Ronald Reagan’s speeches. All job applicants and those wishing to stay employed must memorize Kipling’s “Gods of the Copybook Headings”. Complete familiarity with James Madison and T.S. Eliot. A passing knowledge of La Commedia. Some employees will be required to write “Robert Bork was right; I was wrong” 100 times. At least 100 times. First time offenders of the new Code of Conduct will be required to listen to one hour of the best of Jimmy Carter Also listening to “We Are the World”, “Theme for the Common Man”, and “Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow” until your brown eyes turn blue. Cigar smoking required. Concealed carry permits a must. The weekly barbecue of baby manatee shall be started by using shredded copies of the books of Margaret Sanger, Rachel Carson, and Margaret Mead as tinder. No brie or Chablis. Mandatory attendance at the weekly book burnings of “The Greening of America”, “A Theory of Justice”, and “The Population Bomb”. A rag doll resembling Howard Zinn tied backwards on a mule being pelted with pies and bags of flaming cat scat will be the reward for employee of the week. Weekly swimming lessons at the Mary Jo Kopechne Memorial Pool for all non-swimming scribes.
“I know that my Redeemer liveth.”
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Rachel Patron
The Sun Sentinel
RE: Pulitzer Prizes and what’s that smell? – Some comments on your oh so unctuous column in Saturday’s paper.
Ms. Patron,
Yes, Virginia, there is a terra incognita once you get past hubris, an ailment most common to card carrying, fire breathing modern American Liberals. It is filled with people reeking of “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”. Even though you are saturated with it you may not know its exact meaning. Send a SASE and I will explain it fully.
As to the ideological split between Fox News – full disclosure requires me to tell you that K. Rupert Murdoch was a limited partner of mine – and the rest of the gravity defying world of mAL electronic zombies – full disclosure again compels me to say that Ed Asner, that old Alger HIss loving lefty and Democratic Congressman Jack Brooks of Texas and Democratic Congressman Fernand St. Germain of Rhode Island were also limited partners of mine – the people have spoken.
If the ratings competition between Fox and everybody else were a prize fight it would have been stopped 3 rounds ago.
Roger Ailes has proven to be a burst of sunshine to the vampire-filled world of MSNBC, CNN, and former Vice President Alpha Gump’s cable TV station, the one he sold to the peace loving towel heads for a gazillion gas guzzling dollars. Ailes has done to those anti-intellectual droids what Sherman should have done to Savannah and Charleston. As is said in China, “That rice is cooked”.
[As an aside, exactly where and when, and most importantly, how did the Reverend Al Sharpton become a “Reverend”? Street smart anti-Semitic hustler? Absolutely. An heir to Edward R. Murrow? Absolutely not. Sometimes he is so God Damned dumb he makes my finger nails curl backward. He is meaner than cat shit which is why I named my last cat after him. The cat was OK; Al ain’t.]
Your disparagement of cable news, a sport that should have a daily limit, leads you to praise print journalism. You cite the winning of a Pulitzer Prize by the Sun Sentinel as proof that America may yet come to their senses by believing that the way to cure poverty is to make the poor rich by making the rich poor. Alas, as long as the name Walter Duranty remains undisturbed on the walls of the Hall of Fame of the New York Times, America’s leading newspaper, the Pulitzer Prize and print journalism remain on probation. You may want to Google his name. He is the best example of “eclectic indignation”, a mind-set without which the Progressives in this country would not live.
At least the Washington Post cursed the name of Janice Cook. You may want to Google her name.
There is some good news on the horizon.
The Koch Brothers may buy the Sun Sentinel.
That thought fills me with inestimable delight.
Statues of Milton Friedman, Russell Kirk, William F. Buckley, Jr. and a picture of Andrew Breitbart in the lobby. Readings from Calvin Coolidge in the cafeteria. An essay contest on Ronald Reagan’s speeches. All job applicants and those wishing to stay employed must memorize Kipling’s “Gods of the Copybook Headings”. Complete familiarity with James Madison and T.S. Eliot. A passing knowledge of La Commedia. Some employees will be required to write “Robert Bork was right; I was wrong” 100 times. At least 100 times. First time offenders of the new Code of Conduct will be required to listen to one hour of the best of Jimmy Carter Also listening to “We Are the World”, “Theme for the Common Man”, and “Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow” until your brown eyes turn blue. Cigar smoking required. Concealed carry permits a must. The weekly barbecue of baby manatee shall be started by using shredded copies of the books of Margaret Sanger, Rachel Carson, and Margaret Mead as tinder. No brie or Chablis. Mandatory attendance at the weekly book burnings of “The Greening of America”, “A Theory of Justice”, and “The Population Bomb”. A rag doll resembling Howard Zinn tied backwards on a mule being pelted with pies and bags of flaming cat scat will be the reward for employee of the week. Weekly swimming lessons at the Mary Jo Kopechne Memorial Pool for all non-swimming scribes.
“I know that my Redeemer liveth.”
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
April 28, 2013
Michael Mayo
The Sun Sentinel
RE: I’ll bet Lucy bamboozles Charley Brown again. I’ll bet she yanks the football out just as he is going to kick it. I’ll bet he winds up on his ass again, as he always does – Some comments on you achingly familiar, absolutely priceless and timeless column in today’s Sun Sentinel.
Mr. Mayo,
“How sad of all the things that men endure
how few laws or kings can cause or cure.”
An eternal line from Dr. Johnson – Samuel, not Lyndon. Hold your thought. I’ll get back to him.
I got to the end of your 3rd paragraph
“Once again, the poor are cannon fodder
for someone else’s fight.”
when it came to me in a flash.
Eureka! I had found it.
In the good old days, the days when the New York was a righteous paper, the days when Mrs. Schiff ran it like an ink stained soup kitchen, the days when publisher James Wechsler valiantly tried to stop D.A. Frank Hogan from turning Manhattan into a Stalag while remaining neutral on the vexing question of Gulags, the days when Pete Hamill wanted to Agent Orange poppy fields and carpet bomb heroin factories, the days when Jimmy Breslin said the Post had to survive because the city needed its “voice”, the days when Murray Kempton left his readers scratching their heads, the days before the arrival of K. Rupert Murdoch there was a columnist whose lamentations made Jeremiah sound like Jerry Lewis.
The perpetually outraged Harriet Van Horne never saw a Republican – with the exception of John Lindsay - that she liked or a tax that shouldn’t be raised. She had a mindset that was fueled by a continuous “Balloon Juice” enema. She was in favor of early springs, balmy summers, crisp falls, and snowless winters. Naturally, as the prototypical modern American Liberal, she thought these things were rights and that the legislature in Albany should guarantee them. She was an early volunteer in Lyndon Johnson’s wildly popular War on Poverty [49 years after it was begun would it make me mean spirited if I were to ask for a status report on it? Has an exit strategy ever been decided on? Can’t we just say “We Won” and go home?
To me, her most memorable line came at the end of a “de profundis” call to have Nixon kidnapped by the early version of Somali pirates, to give an annual ticker tape parade for Castro, to turn our weapons into plow shares and our plow shares into tofu, to have William F. Buckley flayed, to have eggs benedict for school breakfasts and New York rib-eye for lunch when she said that, absent the above, it would be
“another lash on the backs of the poor.”
As God is my witness she actually wrote that
How long did it take to find a worthy successor?
Far too long.
You, sir, are the first recipient of the
Harriet Van Horne
“ANOTHER LASH ON THE BACKS OF THE POOR”
Dunce Cap
It will shortly rank with my other rewards:
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
POMPOUS FART O F THE MONTH
SMARMY BASTARD OF THE YEAR
It will be given from time to time as earned. Preference will be given to anyone with a New York City frame of mind.
In lieu of a cash purse the recipient will be pleased to know that the grantor [me] will retire to a public house well stocked with single malt whisky. He shall reflect on why, yet again, the great Dr. Johnson is our guide, our fixed star, when he spoke of
“the triumph of hope over experience.”
Looking forward to enjoying this year’s Summer of Recovery, I remain
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Michael Mayo
The Sun Sentinel
RE: I’ll bet Lucy bamboozles Charley Brown again. I’ll bet she yanks the football out just as he is going to kick it. I’ll bet he winds up on his ass again, as he always does – Some comments on you achingly familiar, absolutely priceless and timeless column in today’s Sun Sentinel.
Mr. Mayo,
“How sad of all the things that men endure
how few laws or kings can cause or cure.”
An eternal line from Dr. Johnson – Samuel, not Lyndon. Hold your thought. I’ll get back to him.
I got to the end of your 3rd paragraph
“Once again, the poor are cannon fodder
for someone else’s fight.”
when it came to me in a flash.
Eureka! I had found it.
In the good old days, the days when the New York was a righteous paper, the days when Mrs. Schiff ran it like an ink stained soup kitchen, the days when publisher James Wechsler valiantly tried to stop D.A. Frank Hogan from turning Manhattan into a Stalag while remaining neutral on the vexing question of Gulags, the days when Pete Hamill wanted to Agent Orange poppy fields and carpet bomb heroin factories, the days when Jimmy Breslin said the Post had to survive because the city needed its “voice”, the days when Murray Kempton left his readers scratching their heads, the days before the arrival of K. Rupert Murdoch there was a columnist whose lamentations made Jeremiah sound like Jerry Lewis.
The perpetually outraged Harriet Van Horne never saw a Republican – with the exception of John Lindsay - that she liked or a tax that shouldn’t be raised. She had a mindset that was fueled by a continuous “Balloon Juice” enema. She was in favor of early springs, balmy summers, crisp falls, and snowless winters. Naturally, as the prototypical modern American Liberal, she thought these things were rights and that the legislature in Albany should guarantee them. She was an early volunteer in Lyndon Johnson’s wildly popular War on Poverty [49 years after it was begun would it make me mean spirited if I were to ask for a status report on it? Has an exit strategy ever been decided on? Can’t we just say “We Won” and go home?
To me, her most memorable line came at the end of a “de profundis” call to have Nixon kidnapped by the early version of Somali pirates, to give an annual ticker tape parade for Castro, to turn our weapons into plow shares and our plow shares into tofu, to have William F. Buckley flayed, to have eggs benedict for school breakfasts and New York rib-eye for lunch when she said that, absent the above, it would be
“another lash on the backs of the poor.”
As God is my witness she actually wrote that
How long did it take to find a worthy successor?
Far too long.
You, sir, are the first recipient of the
Harriet Van Horne
“ANOTHER LASH ON THE BACKS OF THE POOR”
Dunce Cap
It will shortly rank with my other rewards:
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
POMPOUS FART O F THE MONTH
SMARMY BASTARD OF THE YEAR
It will be given from time to time as earned. Preference will be given to anyone with a New York City frame of mind.
In lieu of a cash purse the recipient will be pleased to know that the grantor [me] will retire to a public house well stocked with single malt whisky. He shall reflect on why, yet again, the great Dr. Johnson is our guide, our fixed star, when he spoke of
“the triumph of hope over experience.”
Looking forward to enjoying this year’s Summer of Recovery, I remain
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
April 28, 2013
Gary Stein
The Sun Sentinel
RE: Your “outrage” is not “wavering”, I think. – Some comments on your column in today’s Sun Sentinel.
Big Stein,
Phyllis Wasserman-Rubin, Broward County’s leading modern American Liberal Democratic Juban politician and du jour crook, pled guilty to counts of stealing form the public trough and, because she is sick and her husband just got out of jail, gets to keep both her pension and her freedom.
[Don’t you think it’s about time, it being a question of goals not quotas and of fundamental fairness, that a Republican get his dick or dickette caught in the “Steal a Hot Stove” review? One of the drawbacks of one party rule – Think Hudson County, think Cook County, think Wayne County, think Boston – is that the gene pool soon gets to the incest warning light. Maybe the Koch Brothers could sponsor some Republican crooks.]
I am glad you are not “wavering” in this because a few weeks back you also took the pledge against “wavering”. You wrote that you had finally made up your mind about the death penalty.
You said you were opposed to it with no exceptions.
I wrote to you and asked what about the Florida ax murderer who was up next for the hot shot. I asked you what about Adolph Eichmann. To date I have received no answer.
I wrote again asking you about the surviving Muslim terrorist in Boston. Modern American Liberals, having tried, convicted, and executed George Zimmerman, a “White Hispanic” according to the New York Times, have been strangely silent about whatever the Son of a Bitch Jihadist murderer’s name is. There is enough physical evidence to convict him in Mecca. [Mecca is another place where there is no “wavering’ about the death penalty either.]
Do you think he should be executed? Yes or No. “Wavering” is not allowed.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Gary Stein
The Sun Sentinel
RE: Your “outrage” is not “wavering”, I think. – Some comments on your column in today’s Sun Sentinel.
Big Stein,
Phyllis Wasserman-Rubin, Broward County’s leading modern American Liberal Democratic Juban politician and du jour crook, pled guilty to counts of stealing form the public trough and, because she is sick and her husband just got out of jail, gets to keep both her pension and her freedom.
[Don’t you think it’s about time, it being a question of goals not quotas and of fundamental fairness, that a Republican get his dick or dickette caught in the “Steal a Hot Stove” review? One of the drawbacks of one party rule – Think Hudson County, think Cook County, think Wayne County, think Boston – is that the gene pool soon gets to the incest warning light. Maybe the Koch Brothers could sponsor some Republican crooks.]
I am glad you are not “wavering” in this because a few weeks back you also took the pledge against “wavering”. You wrote that you had finally made up your mind about the death penalty.
You said you were opposed to it with no exceptions.
I wrote to you and asked what about the Florida ax murderer who was up next for the hot shot. I asked you what about Adolph Eichmann. To date I have received no answer.
I wrote again asking you about the surviving Muslim terrorist in Boston. Modern American Liberals, having tried, convicted, and executed George Zimmerman, a “White Hispanic” according to the New York Times, have been strangely silent about whatever the Son of a Bitch Jihadist murderer’s name is. There is enough physical evidence to convict him in Mecca. [Mecca is another place where there is no “wavering’ about the death penalty either.]
Do you think he should be executed? Yes or No. “Wavering” is not allowed.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
April 28, 2013
Stephen L. Goldstein
The Sun Sentinel
RE: At last! The Gospel of Goldstein tells us why modern American Liberals knot their knickers whenever the NRA incubus appears.
My dear Professor,
If, as you say, “the first lesson of war is…don’t humiliate your opponent” Hitler would have lived to a ripe old age. He would have been quite a sight in lederhosen, humming some Wagner, and bellyaching about the Goddamn Jews.
I suppose that slavery would have ended of its own accord, hopefully before Wilson became President. I say that because if Justice Marshall is to be believed Wilson was the vilest, most bigoted, most racist President in the 20th century. He would have had whipping posts in the Rose Garden and my grandfather’s uncle would have died in vain on July 2, 1863 at Gettysburg. [The Irish Brigade. Look it up. Don’t bother looking up Wilson. I can tell you that he was a Democrat.] Anything to avoid “humiliating” Jefferson Davis, right?
Imagine if the Iron Duke had called off the Coldstream Guards for fear of “humiliating” that Corsican thug, Napoleon. Would the term “Pax Britannica” have any meaning today?
General John Pershing, “Black Jack” to his troops, did not want to stop fighting on November 11, 1918. He wanted to march to Berlin, destroying everything in his path, and then drag the Kaiser around tied to a horse, just like Julius Caesar did. Who knows? Maybe Hitler would have stayed as a house painter.
General William Tecumseh Sherman, “Uncle Billy” to his troops, shortened the Civil War by 18 months by “humiliating” the South. I think it would have ended quicker if he had leveled Savannah and Charleston but that’s for History to decide. He said that the place where the war started had not smelled gun powder for almost 4 years. He wanted to make up for lost time. By the time he got through with the Carolinas half the people in Virginia, half the White people in Virginia that is, were signing “The Battle Hymn of the Republic”. The other half memorized “Uncle Tom’s Cabin”.
Would America have better off if Patton had decided not to “humiliate” the Nazis at Bastogne?
You say in typical modern American Liberal fashion, a mode that permits no dissent or opposing views, one that is saturated in “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”, that “94 percent of Floridians support background checks”. I see a poll that says only 4 percent think gun control is the most important issue facing the country.
If we are going to be governed by polls and plebiscites can you tell where and when a majority of people have voted in favor of same-sex marriage? Shouldn’t vox populi be the deciding factor there? Why should it apply only to guns? You must remember that both Plato and Aristotle said that democracy was the worst form of government in that it leads to chaos and dictatorship. Why not have policy matters decided by a Twitter vote? Do you think that O.J. Simpson would have walked after he killed two people?
Lastly, and possibly the most important, is your champagne preference. My favorite quote from the great Lord Keynes was his last words. “My only regret is that I didn’t drink more champagne”. Since it falls under the subjective “de gustibus” category your choice of Dom Perignon should go unchallenged. Since you have sworn allegiance and undying fealty to a man who wants to “spread the wealth around” it becomes a question of fairness. As long as we have pimps and wannabe drug lords [real drug lords drink Cristal] there will never be enough to go around.
I suggest Vueve Cliquot, Pommery, or Pol Roget. If they were good enough for Churchill they should be good enough for all the nit-wits you know who think this is the year for the long delayed Summer of Recovery to appear. The only thing I’ve been waiting for longer is Godot.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Stephen L. Goldstein
The Sun Sentinel
RE: At last! The Gospel of Goldstein tells us why modern American Liberals knot their knickers whenever the NRA incubus appears.
My dear Professor,
If, as you say, “the first lesson of war is…don’t humiliate your opponent” Hitler would have lived to a ripe old age. He would have been quite a sight in lederhosen, humming some Wagner, and bellyaching about the Goddamn Jews.
I suppose that slavery would have ended of its own accord, hopefully before Wilson became President. I say that because if Justice Marshall is to be believed Wilson was the vilest, most bigoted, most racist President in the 20th century. He would have had whipping posts in the Rose Garden and my grandfather’s uncle would have died in vain on July 2, 1863 at Gettysburg. [The Irish Brigade. Look it up. Don’t bother looking up Wilson. I can tell you that he was a Democrat.] Anything to avoid “humiliating” Jefferson Davis, right?
Imagine if the Iron Duke had called off the Coldstream Guards for fear of “humiliating” that Corsican thug, Napoleon. Would the term “Pax Britannica” have any meaning today?
General John Pershing, “Black Jack” to his troops, did not want to stop fighting on November 11, 1918. He wanted to march to Berlin, destroying everything in his path, and then drag the Kaiser around tied to a horse, just like Julius Caesar did. Who knows? Maybe Hitler would have stayed as a house painter.
General William Tecumseh Sherman, “Uncle Billy” to his troops, shortened the Civil War by 18 months by “humiliating” the South. I think it would have ended quicker if he had leveled Savannah and Charleston but that’s for History to decide. He said that the place where the war started had not smelled gun powder for almost 4 years. He wanted to make up for lost time. By the time he got through with the Carolinas half the people in Virginia, half the White people in Virginia that is, were signing “The Battle Hymn of the Republic”. The other half memorized “Uncle Tom’s Cabin”.
Would America have better off if Patton had decided not to “humiliate” the Nazis at Bastogne?
You say in typical modern American Liberal fashion, a mode that permits no dissent or opposing views, one that is saturated in “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”, that “94 percent of Floridians support background checks”. I see a poll that says only 4 percent think gun control is the most important issue facing the country.
If we are going to be governed by polls and plebiscites can you tell where and when a majority of people have voted in favor of same-sex marriage? Shouldn’t vox populi be the deciding factor there? Why should it apply only to guns? You must remember that both Plato and Aristotle said that democracy was the worst form of government in that it leads to chaos and dictatorship. Why not have policy matters decided by a Twitter vote? Do you think that O.J. Simpson would have walked after he killed two people?
Lastly, and possibly the most important, is your champagne preference. My favorite quote from the great Lord Keynes was his last words. “My only regret is that I didn’t drink more champagne”. Since it falls under the subjective “de gustibus” category your choice of Dom Perignon should go unchallenged. Since you have sworn allegiance and undying fealty to a man who wants to “spread the wealth around” it becomes a question of fairness. As long as we have pimps and wannabe drug lords [real drug lords drink Cristal] there will never be enough to go around.
I suggest Vueve Cliquot, Pommery, or Pol Roget. If they were good enough for Churchill they should be good enough for all the nit-wits you know who think this is the year for the long delayed Summer of Recovery to appear. The only thing I’ve been waiting for longer is Godot.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
April 14, 2013
Gary Stein
The Sun Sentinel
RE: Some comments on how right you say youj were then and how smarmy you may be now.
Big Stein,
Some questions followed, hopefully, by the same number of answers.
#1 – You say “the best demonstrations…were the anti-war ones”. “Ones” suggest that you were opposed to all wars. 1967 and 1973 were great years for wars in the Middle East. Were you opposed to those wars? If not, why not?
#2 – What was your draft status?
#3 – Did you “loathe” the military?
#4 – We know that all academic exercises are free. We also know that some academic exercises are more free than others. If the name Allah were to be substituted for Jesus would the pro-stompers, people like you, be as adamant in their support? Kind of like “I may oppose what you are stomping but I will fight to the death to support your right to stomp”. Perhaps some freedoms, like some indignations, are eclectically enforced. Clear this up for me, please.
#5 – Were your anti-war demonstrations, those with “girls”, conducted vertically or horizontally?
#6 – Do you think the Sun Sentinel should publish all the Muhammed, and blessed be his name, cartoons? I hear rumors that some of them show him cavorting with a goat and some pre-pubescent girls. If they do why not publish them so we all can stomp on them? If they don’t why not publish them anyway? How much lesser will we be if Pakistan burns itself down?
#7 - I am counting on your support when I wrap a bible and a Koran, a “sacred” Koran, in an American flag and burn them on the steps of the Federal Courthouse in Fort Lauderdale. I will keep a pot of pig pee close by should the fire get out of control.
#7 – I am still waiting for your “unwavering” response to the executions of Larry Mann and Adolph Eichman. Yes or no. Live or die. “Wavering” is not allowed.
#8 - Get back to me please lest I think that you have gone over to the smarmy side.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Gary Stein
The Sun Sentinel
RE: Some comments on how right you say youj were then and how smarmy you may be now.
Big Stein,
Some questions followed, hopefully, by the same number of answers.
#1 – You say “the best demonstrations…were the anti-war ones”. “Ones” suggest that you were opposed to all wars. 1967 and 1973 were great years for wars in the Middle East. Were you opposed to those wars? If not, why not?
#2 – What was your draft status?
#3 – Did you “loathe” the military?
#4 – We know that all academic exercises are free. We also know that some academic exercises are more free than others. If the name Allah were to be substituted for Jesus would the pro-stompers, people like you, be as adamant in their support? Kind of like “I may oppose what you are stomping but I will fight to the death to support your right to stomp”. Perhaps some freedoms, like some indignations, are eclectically enforced. Clear this up for me, please.
#5 – Were your anti-war demonstrations, those with “girls”, conducted vertically or horizontally?
#6 – Do you think the Sun Sentinel should publish all the Muhammed, and blessed be his name, cartoons? I hear rumors that some of them show him cavorting with a goat and some pre-pubescent girls. If they do why not publish them so we all can stomp on them? If they don’t why not publish them anyway? How much lesser will we be if Pakistan burns itself down?
#7 - I am counting on your support when I wrap a bible and a Koran, a “sacred” Koran, in an American flag and burn them on the steps of the Federal Courthouse in Fort Lauderdale. I will keep a pot of pig pee close by should the fire get out of control.
#7 – I am still waiting for your “unwavering” response to the executions of Larry Mann and Adolph Eichman. Yes or no. Live or die. “Wavering” is not allowed.
#8 - Get back to me please lest I think that you have gone over to the smarmy side.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Sunday, April 21, 2013
April 18, 2013
Joy-Ann Reid
The Miami Herald
RE: Not so fast – Some comments on your musings on guns in today’s Miami Herald
Ms. Reid,
I hate to be the one to tear asunder your anti-Historical journalistic daisy chain about evil White guys needing the Second Amendment to catch runaway slaves but if I don’t who will?
I shant bother you with inconvenient facts about George Mason or the anti-Federalists or even Benjamin Franklin announcing the product of the 1787 Constitutional Convention to be a Republic “if you can keep it”.
I could dazzle with Rhetoric – not Sophistry, mind you – about Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc but you might consider me to be both an elitist and a devotee of DWEMs. [That’s Dead White European Males] The thought of you thinking ill of me would be shattering.
The reason why I do nothing of the above is because you, as the du jour paradigmatic template of modern American Liberalism – ink stained wench division – are never allowed to let facts intrude with any argument, particularly those that deny your premise. [Premise? – Send a SASE]
It will come as a shock to those who, 238 years ago today, stood “on the rude bridge that arched the flood…and fired the shot heard round the world”. I always thought they were fighting the British. Who knew they were hunting runaway slaves? [By the way, wouldn’t shooting runaway slaves be contra-Logical? They are of no value dead.]
For the record…
#1 – I do not own a gun.
# 2 – My father’s father had 2 uncles who fought with the Irish Brigade. On July 2 they stepped off into the Wheat Field at Gettysburg. One of them is still there “wrapped in his faded coat of Blue”. I mention this because should salve reparations become the law I think I am entitled to a tax credit carry forward to offset any potential liability I may have. There is an interesting monument to the fallen members of the Irish Brigade there. It has a Celtic cross on a pedestal. At the foot of the cross is a sleeping Irish wolfhound. The inscription reads “Gentle when stroked. Fierce when provoked”. There is no mention of slaves, runaway or not.
#3 – I search my extensive vocabulary for words to describe your dishonesty. To cite Vice President Curley Biden you seem to be “a clean, articulate Black person” .I guess looks do deceive. Opinions vary; facts, particularly inconvenient ones, don’t.
Either you are incapable of defending your assertions, in which case you are unfit for your job, or, worse, you will mold the facts to fit your preconceived conclusions.
If I go with the latter it makes you dumber than a box of hammers. If I go with the latter it makes you a smarmy bastard.
I’ll compromise and take both,
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Joy-Ann Reid
The Miami Herald
RE: Not so fast – Some comments on your musings on guns in today’s Miami Herald
Ms. Reid,
I hate to be the one to tear asunder your anti-Historical journalistic daisy chain about evil White guys needing the Second Amendment to catch runaway slaves but if I don’t who will?
I shant bother you with inconvenient facts about George Mason or the anti-Federalists or even Benjamin Franklin announcing the product of the 1787 Constitutional Convention to be a Republic “if you can keep it”.
I could dazzle with Rhetoric – not Sophistry, mind you – about Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc but you might consider me to be both an elitist and a devotee of DWEMs. [That’s Dead White European Males] The thought of you thinking ill of me would be shattering.
The reason why I do nothing of the above is because you, as the du jour paradigmatic template of modern American Liberalism – ink stained wench division – are never allowed to let facts intrude with any argument, particularly those that deny your premise. [Premise? – Send a SASE]
It will come as a shock to those who, 238 years ago today, stood “on the rude bridge that arched the flood…and fired the shot heard round the world”. I always thought they were fighting the British. Who knew they were hunting runaway slaves? [By the way, wouldn’t shooting runaway slaves be contra-Logical? They are of no value dead.]
For the record…
#1 – I do not own a gun.
# 2 – My father’s father had 2 uncles who fought with the Irish Brigade. On July 2 they stepped off into the Wheat Field at Gettysburg. One of them is still there “wrapped in his faded coat of Blue”. I mention this because should salve reparations become the law I think I am entitled to a tax credit carry forward to offset any potential liability I may have. There is an interesting monument to the fallen members of the Irish Brigade there. It has a Celtic cross on a pedestal. At the foot of the cross is a sleeping Irish wolfhound. The inscription reads “Gentle when stroked. Fierce when provoked”. There is no mention of slaves, runaway or not.
#3 – I search my extensive vocabulary for words to describe your dishonesty. To cite Vice President Curley Biden you seem to be “a clean, articulate Black person” .I guess looks do deceive. Opinions vary; facts, particularly inconvenient ones, don’t.
Either you are incapable of defending your assertions, in which case you are unfit for your job, or, worse, you will mold the facts to fit your preconceived conclusions.
If I go with the latter it makes you dumber than a box of hammers. If I go with the latter it makes you a smarmy bastard.
I’ll compromise and take both,
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Sunday, April 14, 2013
March 29, 2013
Senator Harry Reid
600 E. William Street #304
Carson City, NV 89701
Senator Reid,
Now we know that the post-racial society promised to us by then candidate Obama in 2008 will take a bit more than a bit more than a few White House executive orders or some gentle out-reach reach out words from Reverend Wright.
The lasting joy of Lent is that it always offers the promise of redemption and salvation. What better way to spend Good Friday than be manning up to past sins and begging forgiveness?
Even a cursory reading of History of the politics of racism ion the 20th century screams that the Democratic party was the vilest, most bigoted national institution in the country.
I would run out of ink before I ran out of names. You may have known some of them. Senator Sam Ervin, Senator Robert Byrd, Senator James Eastland, Senator William Fullbright, Senator Herman Talmadge, Senator Strom Thurmond, Senator Albert Gore, Sr., Senator John Sparkman, Senator Alben Barkley,…a regular Murderers’ Row, no?
There are 2 common denominators that bind them.
#! – With one exception they spent their entire public lives dedicated to the proposition that little White girls would not have to go to grammar school with little Black boys.
#2 – They were Democrats, every one, every last one of them.
They are also all dead. Short of disinterring them and flogging them to the tune of Dixie before lynching them there is precious little that can be done to them. There are 3 I haven’t mentioned who are also dead.
One of them, President Woodrow Wilson, was, if we are to believe the personal testimony of Justice Thurgood Marshall, the most bigoted, the vilest elected Federal official in the 20th century. On top of his reputation as being the numero uno in the “meaner than cat shit” sweepstakes, he began the Democratic mantra of “I won’t send American boys to fight in foreign wars” that was used successfully by 2 of his successors. What worked for Wilson in 1916 worked for Roosevelt in 1940 and Johnson in 1964. The statute has run on holding him accountable for his crimes.
The other 2, Senator Richard Russell and Senator John Stennis, are people that you can do something about.
The Senate named its office building after Senator Russell. As the majority leader it would take you about an hour and half to unname it.
The United States Navy named a nuclear aircraft carrier after Senator John Stennis. The USS Stennis [CVN 74] is named after the last public figure to use the word “nigrah” with impunity. Of course, that was nothing compared to former Klan Deputy Kleagle, Senator Robert Byrd who twice used the dreaded “N” word, the word that White people dare no use, on national TV, remember?
I suggest that after you get the name Stennis sandblasted off the ship you rename it after Teddy Kennedy. His devotion to all things nautical [swimming, diving, drowning, murder] is the stuff of legend.
You and the country will feel much better after you do these healing things.
Kevin Smith
Senator Harry Reid
600 E. William Street #304
Carson City, NV 89701
Senator Reid,
Now we know that the post-racial society promised to us by then candidate Obama in 2008 will take a bit more than a bit more than a few White House executive orders or some gentle out-reach reach out words from Reverend Wright.
The lasting joy of Lent is that it always offers the promise of redemption and salvation. What better way to spend Good Friday than be manning up to past sins and begging forgiveness?
Even a cursory reading of History of the politics of racism ion the 20th century screams that the Democratic party was the vilest, most bigoted national institution in the country.
I would run out of ink before I ran out of names. You may have known some of them. Senator Sam Ervin, Senator Robert Byrd, Senator James Eastland, Senator William Fullbright, Senator Herman Talmadge, Senator Strom Thurmond, Senator Albert Gore, Sr., Senator John Sparkman, Senator Alben Barkley,…a regular Murderers’ Row, no?
There are 2 common denominators that bind them.
#! – With one exception they spent their entire public lives dedicated to the proposition that little White girls would not have to go to grammar school with little Black boys.
#2 – They were Democrats, every one, every last one of them.
They are also all dead. Short of disinterring them and flogging them to the tune of Dixie before lynching them there is precious little that can be done to them. There are 3 I haven’t mentioned who are also dead.
One of them, President Woodrow Wilson, was, if we are to believe the personal testimony of Justice Thurgood Marshall, the most bigoted, the vilest elected Federal official in the 20th century. On top of his reputation as being the numero uno in the “meaner than cat shit” sweepstakes, he began the Democratic mantra of “I won’t send American boys to fight in foreign wars” that was used successfully by 2 of his successors. What worked for Wilson in 1916 worked for Roosevelt in 1940 and Johnson in 1964. The statute has run on holding him accountable for his crimes.
The other 2, Senator Richard Russell and Senator John Stennis, are people that you can do something about.
The Senate named its office building after Senator Russell. As the majority leader it would take you about an hour and half to unname it.
The United States Navy named a nuclear aircraft carrier after Senator John Stennis. The USS Stennis [CVN 74] is named after the last public figure to use the word “nigrah” with impunity. Of course, that was nothing compared to former Klan Deputy Kleagle, Senator Robert Byrd who twice used the dreaded “N” word, the word that White people dare no use, on national TV, remember?
I suggest that after you get the name Stennis sandblasted off the ship you rename it after Teddy Kennedy. His devotion to all things nautical [swimming, diving, drowning, murder] is the stuff of legend.
You and the country will feel much better after you do these healing things.
Kevin Smith
March 29, 2013
Ken Kaye & Larry Barszewski
The Sun Sentinel
500 Broward Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394
RE: “Manatee Deaths Spike” – Some comments on your unlinkable article about Florida’s beloved sea slugs.
Mr. Kaye,
Personally I would prefer to be descended from bears but, as a Right-Wing, homophobic, snake handling, Truther/Birther, red neck gun nut I have to subscribe to one of the basic tenets of the Church of Modern American Liberalism or I will lose my library card before I am cast into the bottomless pit named Avernus.
Ergo, I chose to believe in evolution. To be precise, Darwin’s Theory of Evolution. As a true believer in the validity of Chuckie’s writings I cannot, I will not ,comment on the disturbing fact – Damned inconvenient, if you will – that it has been a theory since before our Supreme Court decided to give Dred Scott a one-way ticket on the midnight train to Georgia.
That is a Hellaciously long time.
The end of the whale oil business, air brakes on trains. Gettysburg, repeating rifles, Mark Twain, the internal combustion engine, manned flight, unsinkable ships sinking, zippers, Mickey Mouse, talkies, E=MC2, vinyl records, night baseball, air conditioning, penicillin, TVs, automatic transmissions, frozen orange juice, microwaves, the Salk vaccine, six packs, Holiday Inns, instant replay, permanent press, “The Eagle has landed”, disco, Pioneer, “Non timere”, PCs, “Tear down this wall”, cell phones, virtual reality versus real reality, Hubble, debits still equaling credits, yet more jumbo shrimp, “hope and change”, the continuing “triumph of hope over experience” and the Damn thing still hasn’t been proved.
I know it’s hard. This country went from a few text books to Hiroshima and Nagasaki in less than 4 years. The only tools were slide rules and Dixon #2 pencils. That was hard.
If no one else is going to say that the emperor is need of some new trousers I sure as Hell ain’t. I am buying the whole nine yards.
Birds became dinosaurs that died and made oil. When T-Rex took a Pasadena it got warm before it got cold. Then it became really warm just before it became really cold. Then we lost track. Later some shrimp became coyotes and some peripatetic protozoae became Uncle Luke. Really old ferns became the Grand Canyon. The Gods of the Copybook Ledgers began to keep score and Chucking Charlie explained it all.
And we all believed.. We all bent our knees and pledged fealty, never ending fealty, because if you don’t count Ptolemy once science is settled it is settled. The Origin of the Species, a creed whose followers could give Torquemada and the beheading mullahs lessons if doubt raises its unclean head, settled all the questions, even ones that had not been asked. Survival of the Fittest became the Oratorio of the Modern Man.
Which brings me to the manatees.
Your story in today’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel tells us of the death of 409 manatees in just 3 months. It is a mammalian dirge unequaled in modern times. Where can find keeners equal to the task of lamenting such a loss?
We are on course for a record year for unscheduled manatee deaths. Jaclyn Lopez, an attorney with a “Who Needs People, Save the Whales” non-profit scam group – I say scam group because unless Jaclyn Lopez, Esq. works for free she is placing her interests above those of the more helpless of God’s creatures, presuming that it is still OK to say God even though today is Good Friday – hectors us in typical harridan style that “we need to do more to protect” these marine layabouts
Here’s where Chuckie’s ideas come in to play.
If “survival of the fittest” is Rule #1 would I become anathema if I were to suggest that it is time, it is past time, to say Hasta la Vista to these swimming dumpster divers?
If the high point in the life of the Alpha male is to swim into a whirling propeller maybe it is time for them to go. Not to a shelter, not to a manatee assisted living facility, not to a Jurassic Park for gummers but to a permanent listing in the newly updated Book of the Dead – quasi Flipper section.
If it weren’t for fuzzy minded, heads up their asses, tree hugging boobs tossing 2 week old balsamic vinegar drenched lettuce, arugula, and endives, tofu gone a bit gamey, out of date low fat organic yoghurt [as opposed to the inorganic kind, the one with the long strand polymers, don’t you know?], and wheat germ off our under-maintained bridges, honorable spans waiting for their Summer of Recovery, these sea horse wanabees would surely starve.
Wasn’t the first rule from the Federation to any Starship never to interfere with the life process on a new planet, with the natural order of things?
Why do we do it with these useless things? We can’t pet them. We can’t train them. We can’t water ski using them. They serve no useful function. Only the newly born can make a passable sushi. When a pod gets diarrhea dolphins and skip jacks jump into boats. Baby loggerheads are so traumatized that they become fatally constipated. Manatee scat may be useful in removing unwanted tattoos but you can never again eat meat. The tattoo comes off just before your fingers and toes.
If I were to mention 1,500,000 abortions a year since 1973 you would think poorly of me so I won’t.
If I were to suggest that Lake Okeechobee be turned into a manatee only refuge, one like what we have done for the furbish lousewort or the snail darter, you would say I am on the right path, right?
Before I get to my “final solution” for these useless creatures I have a question. Why don’t the alligators eat them?
Here’s my plan.
Find out what “sends a chill” up its flipper. Manatee musk, a picture of Cesar Chavez, a Judas bull, soft music, white wine, underwater incense, Rachel Carson arm wrestling with Margaret Sanger, perpetual tumescence, round the clock estrus, Whole Food salad bars dripping with Viagra, rotting succotash bushes, a case of Ranch Dressing…whatever.
Get them all to the New River.
We can make this a teachable moment.
Ring the dinner bell.
Get them to swim into a 20 foot wide underwater Cuisinart on perpetual puree.
We will have proved Darwin’s Theory. At least the part about “survival of the fittest”.
The serendipitous bonus is that we get sausage for the homeless.
I mention the homeless because there is a news story above yours about doing what is known in the sub-rosa world of accounting as a midnight Oklahoma transfer. It gets the homeless the Hell out of Dodge. It involves taking money out of one trust fund to use because another trust fund is empty. Kind of like Social Security and Medicare.
Whatever the Sun Sentinel has in its corporate soul satire is not on the list of contents. Unless the paper has a mole named Jay Swift straight from the Onion or the pages of John L. Carrot I must believe the story is correct.
Larry Barszewski, your fellow ink stained wretch, says that the city of Fort Lauderdale will provide bus fare for the Knights of the Road on 2 conditions.
#1 – Wherever the bus stops, be it Darmiscotta, Maine or Winona, Minnesota, a family member must pick them up. Unless racist photo IDs are used it will be difficult to guarantee that transaction. The city has no position on whether ungendered or non-gendered “significant others” can be part of the plan. The Chamber of Commerce just wants them 1400 miles away.
#2 – You have to have AIDS. Honest. You have to have AIDS. If you are a non-AIDS homeless dude or dudess you ain’t going nowhere
Am I the only one to note that it is still a bit chilly in my 2 destination cities? The French Judge was right when he said that the rich and the poor have an equal right to sleep under the bridges of Paris; the rich in the summer and the poor in the winter.
So if you are a permanent address-free pilgrim, doubtless part of the undeserving poor, a victim of life’s circumstances, and you want to get back to kith and kin your best bet is to spend a drug filled weekend doing the horizontal tango with a Haitian ape.
Since we know, it being settled science, that Darwin is right – It is unimaginable to even think that he may be wrong, right? – herd culling is required. Be they swimming or standing if they can’t contribute to society they must be denied their “fair share” of our planet’s diminishing resources. Those of us who are more fit, more productive, must be given preference, even second helpings, at the trough.
That’s Darwin in a nut shell, right?
Do you believe that before Good Time Charley came along some people thought the above ideas were bad? I’m glad he cleared that up.
Manatees and homeless AIDS carriers.
Perfect together.
A one-way, non-transferable, no refund ticket to Palookaville.
Kevin Smith
Ken Kaye & Larry Barszewski
The Sun Sentinel
500 Broward Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394
RE: “Manatee Deaths Spike” – Some comments on your unlinkable article about Florida’s beloved sea slugs.
Mr. Kaye,
Personally I would prefer to be descended from bears but, as a Right-Wing, homophobic, snake handling, Truther/Birther, red neck gun nut I have to subscribe to one of the basic tenets of the Church of Modern American Liberalism or I will lose my library card before I am cast into the bottomless pit named Avernus.
Ergo, I chose to believe in evolution. To be precise, Darwin’s Theory of Evolution. As a true believer in the validity of Chuckie’s writings I cannot, I will not ,comment on the disturbing fact – Damned inconvenient, if you will – that it has been a theory since before our Supreme Court decided to give Dred Scott a one-way ticket on the midnight train to Georgia.
That is a Hellaciously long time.
The end of the whale oil business, air brakes on trains. Gettysburg, repeating rifles, Mark Twain, the internal combustion engine, manned flight, unsinkable ships sinking, zippers, Mickey Mouse, talkies, E=MC2, vinyl records, night baseball, air conditioning, penicillin, TVs, automatic transmissions, frozen orange juice, microwaves, the Salk vaccine, six packs, Holiday Inns, instant replay, permanent press, “The Eagle has landed”, disco, Pioneer, “Non timere”, PCs, “Tear down this wall”, cell phones, virtual reality versus real reality, Hubble, debits still equaling credits, yet more jumbo shrimp, “hope and change”, the continuing “triumph of hope over experience” and the Damn thing still hasn’t been proved.
I know it’s hard. This country went from a few text books to Hiroshima and Nagasaki in less than 4 years. The only tools were slide rules and Dixon #2 pencils. That was hard.
If no one else is going to say that the emperor is need of some new trousers I sure as Hell ain’t. I am buying the whole nine yards.
Birds became dinosaurs that died and made oil. When T-Rex took a Pasadena it got warm before it got cold. Then it became really warm just before it became really cold. Then we lost track. Later some shrimp became coyotes and some peripatetic protozoae became Uncle Luke. Really old ferns became the Grand Canyon. The Gods of the Copybook Ledgers began to keep score and Chucking Charlie explained it all.
And we all believed.. We all bent our knees and pledged fealty, never ending fealty, because if you don’t count Ptolemy once science is settled it is settled. The Origin of the Species, a creed whose followers could give Torquemada and the beheading mullahs lessons if doubt raises its unclean head, settled all the questions, even ones that had not been asked. Survival of the Fittest became the Oratorio of the Modern Man.
Which brings me to the manatees.
Your story in today’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel tells us of the death of 409 manatees in just 3 months. It is a mammalian dirge unequaled in modern times. Where can find keeners equal to the task of lamenting such a loss?
We are on course for a record year for unscheduled manatee deaths. Jaclyn Lopez, an attorney with a “Who Needs People, Save the Whales” non-profit scam group – I say scam group because unless Jaclyn Lopez, Esq. works for free she is placing her interests above those of the more helpless of God’s creatures, presuming that it is still OK to say God even though today is Good Friday – hectors us in typical harridan style that “we need to do more to protect” these marine layabouts
Here’s where Chuckie’s ideas come in to play.
If “survival of the fittest” is Rule #1 would I become anathema if I were to suggest that it is time, it is past time, to say Hasta la Vista to these swimming dumpster divers?
If the high point in the life of the Alpha male is to swim into a whirling propeller maybe it is time for them to go. Not to a shelter, not to a manatee assisted living facility, not to a Jurassic Park for gummers but to a permanent listing in the newly updated Book of the Dead – quasi Flipper section.
If it weren’t for fuzzy minded, heads up their asses, tree hugging boobs tossing 2 week old balsamic vinegar drenched lettuce, arugula, and endives, tofu gone a bit gamey, out of date low fat organic yoghurt [as opposed to the inorganic kind, the one with the long strand polymers, don’t you know?], and wheat germ off our under-maintained bridges, honorable spans waiting for their Summer of Recovery, these sea horse wanabees would surely starve.
Wasn’t the first rule from the Federation to any Starship never to interfere with the life process on a new planet, with the natural order of things?
Why do we do it with these useless things? We can’t pet them. We can’t train them. We can’t water ski using them. They serve no useful function. Only the newly born can make a passable sushi. When a pod gets diarrhea dolphins and skip jacks jump into boats. Baby loggerheads are so traumatized that they become fatally constipated. Manatee scat may be useful in removing unwanted tattoos but you can never again eat meat. The tattoo comes off just before your fingers and toes.
If I were to mention 1,500,000 abortions a year since 1973 you would think poorly of me so I won’t.
If I were to suggest that Lake Okeechobee be turned into a manatee only refuge, one like what we have done for the furbish lousewort or the snail darter, you would say I am on the right path, right?
Before I get to my “final solution” for these useless creatures I have a question. Why don’t the alligators eat them?
Here’s my plan.
Find out what “sends a chill” up its flipper. Manatee musk, a picture of Cesar Chavez, a Judas bull, soft music, white wine, underwater incense, Rachel Carson arm wrestling with Margaret Sanger, perpetual tumescence, round the clock estrus, Whole Food salad bars dripping with Viagra, rotting succotash bushes, a case of Ranch Dressing…whatever.
Get them all to the New River.
We can make this a teachable moment.
Ring the dinner bell.
Get them to swim into a 20 foot wide underwater Cuisinart on perpetual puree.
We will have proved Darwin’s Theory. At least the part about “survival of the fittest”.
The serendipitous bonus is that we get sausage for the homeless.
I mention the homeless because there is a news story above yours about doing what is known in the sub-rosa world of accounting as a midnight Oklahoma transfer. It gets the homeless the Hell out of Dodge. It involves taking money out of one trust fund to use because another trust fund is empty. Kind of like Social Security and Medicare.
Whatever the Sun Sentinel has in its corporate soul satire is not on the list of contents. Unless the paper has a mole named Jay Swift straight from the Onion or the pages of John L. Carrot I must believe the story is correct.
Larry Barszewski, your fellow ink stained wretch, says that the city of Fort Lauderdale will provide bus fare for the Knights of the Road on 2 conditions.
#1 – Wherever the bus stops, be it Darmiscotta, Maine or Winona, Minnesota, a family member must pick them up. Unless racist photo IDs are used it will be difficult to guarantee that transaction. The city has no position on whether ungendered or non-gendered “significant others” can be part of the plan. The Chamber of Commerce just wants them 1400 miles away.
#2 – You have to have AIDS. Honest. You have to have AIDS. If you are a non-AIDS homeless dude or dudess you ain’t going nowhere
Am I the only one to note that it is still a bit chilly in my 2 destination cities? The French Judge was right when he said that the rich and the poor have an equal right to sleep under the bridges of Paris; the rich in the summer and the poor in the winter.
So if you are a permanent address-free pilgrim, doubtless part of the undeserving poor, a victim of life’s circumstances, and you want to get back to kith and kin your best bet is to spend a drug filled weekend doing the horizontal tango with a Haitian ape.
Since we know, it being settled science, that Darwin is right – It is unimaginable to even think that he may be wrong, right? – herd culling is required. Be they swimming or standing if they can’t contribute to society they must be denied their “fair share” of our planet’s diminishing resources. Those of us who are more fit, more productive, must be given preference, even second helpings, at the trough.
That’s Darwin in a nut shell, right?
Do you believe that before Good Time Charley came along some people thought the above ideas were bad? I’m glad he cleared that up.
Manatees and homeless AIDS carriers.
Perfect together.
A one-way, non-transferable, no refund ticket to Palookaville.
Kevin Smith
April 2, 2013
Suzan Clary
The Sun Sentinel
500 E. Broward Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394
RE: Sauce for the goose, sauce for the gander? Some comments on your unlinkable boilerplate modern American Liberal defense of Professor Deandre Poole’s “Let’s stomp on Jesus to show how free we are” raree in today’s Sun Sentinel. The term “eclectic indignation” leaps to mind.
Ms. Clary,
First, let me state the obvious.
It would be inconceivable in today’s super sensitive clime for Professor Poole to have substituted – Allah forefend! – the name of the prophet Mohammed, and blessed be his name, for his class room stomping contest.
Had he done so Pakistan would have set itself on fire. Then, President B.O. would have walked barefoot to its Washington embassy to apologize and beg to be scourged as atonement.
If it were to happen, doubtless in one of those fundamentalist, red neck Southern colleges, it would take less than a week for it to be uncovered as a Zionist plot funded by the notorious Koch Brothers. It would have taken a bit longer but the fingerprints of Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh, and Wal-Mart would have been uncovered. Before a fortnight had passed the DNA of Nixon and McCarthy would have been found.
If it were to happen Professor Poole would have been shot down the modern American Liberal academic memory hole at such a speed that his hair would quickly catch on fire.
Now comes a stickier point.
“Students do not have a right not to be offended
by classroom speech or assignments.”
The Sun Sentinel
Today
Page 8A
You
I believe it was Plato who said that “Something cannot be that which it is not.” Had he stumbled on your sentence he would have been felled as if he were struck by a Hoplite.
How can I confound thee?
Let me count the ways.
Professor Poole tells his class that Darwin was a boob.
Professor Poole tells his class that Global Warming is bunk.
Professor Poole tells his class that same sex marriage is wrong.
Professor Poole tells his class that gun control is stupid.
Professor Poole tells his class that Margaret Sanger inspired Hitler.
Professor Poole tells his class that the minimum wage is anti-Black.
Professor Poole tells his class that Papa Joe Kennedy was an anti-Semite.
Professor Poole tells his class that taxes are too high.
Professor Poole tells his class that abortion must be outlawed.
Professor Poole tells his class that he knows a very literate curmudgeon in Fort Lauderdale who wants to burn a Koran, a sacred Koran if you will, wrapped in an American flag on the steps of the Federal Courthouse on Broward Boulevard. This free speech extremist will have a pitcher of pig pee close by should the fire get out of control.
He then asks for student volunteers for crowd control. He tells them that there is a possibility of extra credit.
APRIL FOOL!
[Except for the part about burning the Koran]
Better late than never.
Would “Mecca delenda est” be an acceptable topic for a political science class at Florida Atlantic University? “Mecca delenda est”? Send a SASE.
When will Florida Atlantic University have a display of and a discussion about the cartoons featuring Mohammed, Allah, and a couple of dazed goats and pre-pubescent sobbing girls? Can you get me tickets for that?
“FREE MEN SPEAK WITH FREE TONGUES”
Can we stipulate that while all speech is free some speech is freer than others?
Kevin Smith
Suzan Clary
The Sun Sentinel
500 E. Broward Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394
RE: Sauce for the goose, sauce for the gander? Some comments on your unlinkable boilerplate modern American Liberal defense of Professor Deandre Poole’s “Let’s stomp on Jesus to show how free we are” raree in today’s Sun Sentinel. The term “eclectic indignation” leaps to mind.
Ms. Clary,
First, let me state the obvious.
It would be inconceivable in today’s super sensitive clime for Professor Poole to have substituted – Allah forefend! – the name of the prophet Mohammed, and blessed be his name, for his class room stomping contest.
Had he done so Pakistan would have set itself on fire. Then, President B.O. would have walked barefoot to its Washington embassy to apologize and beg to be scourged as atonement.
If it were to happen, doubtless in one of those fundamentalist, red neck Southern colleges, it would take less than a week for it to be uncovered as a Zionist plot funded by the notorious Koch Brothers. It would have taken a bit longer but the fingerprints of Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh, and Wal-Mart would have been uncovered. Before a fortnight had passed the DNA of Nixon and McCarthy would have been found.
If it were to happen Professor Poole would have been shot down the modern American Liberal academic memory hole at such a speed that his hair would quickly catch on fire.
Now comes a stickier point.
“Students do not have a right not to be offended
by classroom speech or assignments.”
The Sun Sentinel
Today
Page 8A
You
I believe it was Plato who said that “Something cannot be that which it is not.” Had he stumbled on your sentence he would have been felled as if he were struck by a Hoplite.
How can I confound thee?
Let me count the ways.
Professor Poole tells his class that Darwin was a boob.
Professor Poole tells his class that Global Warming is bunk.
Professor Poole tells his class that same sex marriage is wrong.
Professor Poole tells his class that gun control is stupid.
Professor Poole tells his class that Margaret Sanger inspired Hitler.
Professor Poole tells his class that the minimum wage is anti-Black.
Professor Poole tells his class that Papa Joe Kennedy was an anti-Semite.
Professor Poole tells his class that taxes are too high.
Professor Poole tells his class that abortion must be outlawed.
Professor Poole tells his class that he knows a very literate curmudgeon in Fort Lauderdale who wants to burn a Koran, a sacred Koran if you will, wrapped in an American flag on the steps of the Federal Courthouse on Broward Boulevard. This free speech extremist will have a pitcher of pig pee close by should the fire get out of control.
He then asks for student volunteers for crowd control. He tells them that there is a possibility of extra credit.
APRIL FOOL!
[Except for the part about burning the Koran]
Better late than never.
Would “Mecca delenda est” be an acceptable topic for a political science class at Florida Atlantic University? “Mecca delenda est”? Send a SASE.
When will Florida Atlantic University have a display of and a discussion about the cartoons featuring Mohammed, Allah, and a couple of dazed goats and pre-pubescent sobbing girls? Can you get me tickets for that?
“FREE MEN SPEAK WITH FREE TONGUES”
Can we stipulate that while all speech is free some speech is freer than others?
Kevin Smith
March 31, 2013
Steven L. Goldstein
The Sun Sentinel
500 E. Broward Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394
My dear Professor,
I was worried. It was the second Easter in a row, I hope it is only the second, that I couldn’t find my Easter eggs. I buried them. I think.
Then I got to your unlinkable column and the fuzzy world of senescence was replaced by your pixie dust, “moon bat” world of money being the solution for every problem, including undiscovered ones.
Who knew that “London Bridges Falling Down” was numero uno in Florida?
You did. .
$44,134,000,000. That’s 44 billion, one hundred and thirty four million dollars. And that’s only a down payment!
Compared to the “shovel ready” jobs that we borrowed a gazillion dollars from the Chinese to fund it’s a trifle, a trifle. And, hey, when the President snickered that the “shovel ready” jobs weren’t, you know what I‘m saying, “shovel ready” Secretary Clinton’s answer to the Benghazi deaths of 4 Americans, “In the long run what difference does it make”, applies retroactively.
In the world of modern American Liberalism results are irrelevant. It works, it doesn’t work. No big deal. In the long run what difference does it make? What counts are intentions. Sort of like a domestic “We are the World”.
Anyway, the $44,134,000,000 is the amount required to get Florida back from “If you cross that bridge you will die” to “Is your will with your solicitor” question asked by all bridge toll collectors. Methinks it is another fairy tale from one of the founding members of the Lockbox Marching and Chowder Society.
2 things stand out from your horizon reaching column.
#1 – “Denial that the bill always come due” – At first I was going to raise a Te Deum. Only someone who reads Milton Friedman and knows that he said “there is no such thing as a free lunch” could talk about markers being settled. On second thought that happed just after the Fort Lauderdale airport is closed because of a blizzard during the long awaited Summer of Recovery.
Your employer – The Tribune Company – has just come out of bankruptcy. Having danced at the Ball a few times I can absolutely guarantee you with 100% metaphysical certitude that if the Tribune Company had done any of the things the Feds do with our books the people wearing the green eye shades would have been dragged out by their heels and sent to Gitmo.
#2 – “create thousands of jobs” – There is no sense in being a half-assed modern American Liberal. If you drank the Kool-Aid of “hope and change” and asked for seconds that makes you a full-fledged, fire breathing, card carrying modern American Liberal.
How many jobs did the trillion dollar “Stimulus Program” create? Since we are about to enter the 5th Summer of Recovery” would I be revealing my Tea Party/Bastiat roots if I were to ask why none of that money ever got to Florida’s “failing infrastructure”?
For all we know Governor Crist [RID as in Republican Independent Democrat], in addition to playing tonsil hockey with President B.O., was taking long, warm showers with him in the early AM hours. Why did he fall for the “I’ll call you soon” routine? Why didn’t he get the money first, like a good hooker?
I think I know.
“Any public policy that involves robbing Peter to pay Paul will always have Paul’s support”. These poltroons will make Madoff look like a piker.
Kevin Smith
PS – Normally I would ascribe my e-mail fatal illness to the perversity of inanimate objects. This time I believe it was a classic Black-Op mission. Doubtless, it was funded by George Soros and carried out by Debbie Wasserman-Schultz’s brown shirts. I put 2 stamps on the envelope. If we all did that we could help the Post Office, no?
Steven L. Goldstein
The Sun Sentinel
500 E. Broward Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394
My dear Professor,
I was worried. It was the second Easter in a row, I hope it is only the second, that I couldn’t find my Easter eggs. I buried them. I think.
Then I got to your unlinkable column and the fuzzy world of senescence was replaced by your pixie dust, “moon bat” world of money being the solution for every problem, including undiscovered ones.
Who knew that “London Bridges Falling Down” was numero uno in Florida?
You did. .
$44,134,000,000. That’s 44 billion, one hundred and thirty four million dollars. And that’s only a down payment!
Compared to the “shovel ready” jobs that we borrowed a gazillion dollars from the Chinese to fund it’s a trifle, a trifle. And, hey, when the President snickered that the “shovel ready” jobs weren’t, you know what I‘m saying, “shovel ready” Secretary Clinton’s answer to the Benghazi deaths of 4 Americans, “In the long run what difference does it make”, applies retroactively.
In the world of modern American Liberalism results are irrelevant. It works, it doesn’t work. No big deal. In the long run what difference does it make? What counts are intentions. Sort of like a domestic “We are the World”.
Anyway, the $44,134,000,000 is the amount required to get Florida back from “If you cross that bridge you will die” to “Is your will with your solicitor” question asked by all bridge toll collectors. Methinks it is another fairy tale from one of the founding members of the Lockbox Marching and Chowder Society.
2 things stand out from your horizon reaching column.
#1 – “Denial that the bill always come due” – At first I was going to raise a Te Deum. Only someone who reads Milton Friedman and knows that he said “there is no such thing as a free lunch” could talk about markers being settled. On second thought that happed just after the Fort Lauderdale airport is closed because of a blizzard during the long awaited Summer of Recovery.
Your employer – The Tribune Company – has just come out of bankruptcy. Having danced at the Ball a few times I can absolutely guarantee you with 100% metaphysical certitude that if the Tribune Company had done any of the things the Feds do with our books the people wearing the green eye shades would have been dragged out by their heels and sent to Gitmo.
#2 – “create thousands of jobs” – There is no sense in being a half-assed modern American Liberal. If you drank the Kool-Aid of “hope and change” and asked for seconds that makes you a full-fledged, fire breathing, card carrying modern American Liberal.
How many jobs did the trillion dollar “Stimulus Program” create? Since we are about to enter the 5th Summer of Recovery” would I be revealing my Tea Party/Bastiat roots if I were to ask why none of that money ever got to Florida’s “failing infrastructure”?
For all we know Governor Crist [RID as in Republican Independent Democrat], in addition to playing tonsil hockey with President B.O., was taking long, warm showers with him in the early AM hours. Why did he fall for the “I’ll call you soon” routine? Why didn’t he get the money first, like a good hooker?
I think I know.
“Any public policy that involves robbing Peter to pay Paul will always have Paul’s support”. These poltroons will make Madoff look like a piker.
Kevin Smith
PS – Normally I would ascribe my e-mail fatal illness to the perversity of inanimate objects. This time I believe it was a classic Black-Op mission. Doubtless, it was funded by George Soros and carried out by Debbie Wasserman-Schultz’s brown shirts. I put 2 stamps on the envelope. If we all did that we could help the Post Office, no?
April 14, 2013
Gary Stein
The Sun Sentinel
RE: Some comments on how right you say youj were then and how smarmy you may be now.
Big Stein,
Some questions followed, hopefully, by the same number of answers.
#1 – You say “the best demonstrations…were the anti-war ones”. “Ones” suggest that you were opposed to all wars. 1967 and 1973 were great years for wars in the Middle East. Were you opposed to those wars? If not, why not?
#2 – What was your draft status?
#3 – Did you “loathe” the military?
#4 – We know that all academic exercises are free. We also know that some academic exercises are more free than others. If the name Allah were to be substituted for Jesus would the pro-stompers, people like you, be as adamant in their support? Kind of like “I may oppose what you are stomping but I will fight to the death to support your right to stomp”. Perhaps some freedoms, like some indignations, are eclectically enforced. Clear this up for me, please.
#5 – Were your anti-war demonstrations, those with “girls”, conducted vertically or horizontally?
#6 – Do you think the Sun Sentinel should publish all the Muhammed, and blessed be his name, cartoons? I hear rumors that some of them show him cavorting with a goat and some pre-pubescent girls. If they do why not publish them so we all can stomp on them? If they don’t why not publish them anyway? How much lesser will we be if Pakistan burns itself down?
#7 - I am counting on your support when I wrap a bible and a Koran, a “sacred” Koran, in an American flag and burn them on the steps of the Federal Courthouse in Fort Lauderdale. I will keep a pot of pig pee close by should the fire get out of control.
#7 – I am still waiting for your “unwavering” response to the executions of Larry Mann and Adolph Eichman. Yes or no. Live or die. “Wavering” is not allowed.
#8 - Get back to me please lest I think that you have gone over to the smarmy side.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Gary Stein
The Sun Sentinel
RE: Some comments on how right you say youj were then and how smarmy you may be now.
Big Stein,
Some questions followed, hopefully, by the same number of answers.
#1 – You say “the best demonstrations…were the anti-war ones”. “Ones” suggest that you were opposed to all wars. 1967 and 1973 were great years for wars in the Middle East. Were you opposed to those wars? If not, why not?
#2 – What was your draft status?
#3 – Did you “loathe” the military?
#4 – We know that all academic exercises are free. We also know that some academic exercises are more free than others. If the name Allah were to be substituted for Jesus would the pro-stompers, people like you, be as adamant in their support? Kind of like “I may oppose what you are stomping but I will fight to the death to support your right to stomp”. Perhaps some freedoms, like some indignations, are eclectically enforced. Clear this up for me, please.
#5 – Were your anti-war demonstrations, those with “girls”, conducted vertically or horizontally?
#6 – Do you think the Sun Sentinel should publish all the Muhammed, and blessed be his name, cartoons? I hear rumors that some of them show him cavorting with a goat and some pre-pubescent girls. If they do why not publish them so we all can stomp on them? If they don’t why not publish them anyway? How much lesser will we be if Pakistan burns itself down?
#7 - I am counting on your support when I wrap a bible and a Koran, a “sacred” Koran, in an American flag and burn them on the steps of the Federal Courthouse in Fort Lauderdale. I will keep a pot of pig pee close by should the fire get out of control.
#7 – I am still waiting for your “unwavering” response to the executions of Larry Mann and Adolph Eichman. Yes or no. Live or die. “Wavering” is not allowed.
#8 - Get back to me please lest I think that you have gone over to the smarmy side.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Mark Steyn Article
Truth and consequences
Mark Steyn's Passing Parade
March 15, 2013
Following my conversation with Hugh Hewitt on the media's conclave coverage, I thought I'd dust off some similar observations I made at the time of the last change of Pope - the death of John Paul II. The passage about The New York Times is as timely as ever. What follows originally appeared in The Irish Times and The Daily Telegraph, and is adapted and anthologized in my book Mark Steyn's Passing Parade:
"How many divisions has the Pope?" sneered Stalin of Pius XII. Uncle Joe's successors lived long enough to find out. John Paul II's divisions were the Poles who filled the streets to cheer him on his return as pontiff to his homeland in the summer of 1979, and the brave men who founded the Solidarity union 18 months later, and began the chain of events that within a decade swept the Communists from power in Central and Eastern Europe and finally Mother Russia itself. One day we will know the precise combination of Bulgarian Secret Service, East German Stasi and Soviet KGB that lay behind the 1981 assassination attempt on the Holy Father. But you can see why they'd be willing to do it. By then the sclerotic Warsaw Pact understood just how many divisions this Pope had.
...Read more here.
Mark Steyn's Passing Parade
March 15, 2013
Following my conversation with Hugh Hewitt on the media's conclave coverage, I thought I'd dust off some similar observations I made at the time of the last change of Pope - the death of John Paul II. The passage about The New York Times is as timely as ever. What follows originally appeared in The Irish Times and The Daily Telegraph, and is adapted and anthologized in my book Mark Steyn's Passing Parade:
"How many divisions has the Pope?" sneered Stalin of Pius XII. Uncle Joe's successors lived long enough to find out. John Paul II's divisions were the Poles who filled the streets to cheer him on his return as pontiff to his homeland in the summer of 1979, and the brave men who founded the Solidarity union 18 months later, and began the chain of events that within a decade swept the Communists from power in Central and Eastern Europe and finally Mother Russia itself. One day we will know the precise combination of Bulgarian Secret Service, East German Stasi and Soviet KGB that lay behind the 1981 assassination attempt on the Holy Father. But you can see why they'd be willing to do it. By then the sclerotic Warsaw Pact understood just how many divisions this Pope had.
...Read more here.
Monday, March 25, 2013
March 19, 2013
Mary Sanchez
The Kansas City Star
RE: Erratum & Addenda – Further comments on your column yesterday in the Miami Herald on Pope Francis and the quest for “a more just economic system”.
Ms. Sanchez,
As superb as my omelets are they really can’t be reheated.
After rereading both your column and my letter I decided, with great trepidation mind you, to fire up the grill and try to gild one of my world famous lilies.
It was Winston Churchill, and Allah willing, we will see his likes again, who said that taxing your way to prosperity is like standing in a bucket and trying to pick yourself up by the handle. I did not give the great man due credit. Mea culpa.
Your reference to “a more just economic system” is like a batting practice pitch. Letter high, off speed, sliders not allowed, and as big as grapefruit. Sometimes it is too easy to hit. Sometimes you over swing.
I think you, as an ink stained “wise Latina”, know where I am going.
For 53 years we have heard the cries for “a more just economic system” in Cuba. After 53 years of pushing that rock up the hill named “a more just economic system” we know that the problems, apparently insurmountable, are threefold:
1 – Breakfast
2 – Lunch
3 – Dinner
Now, with the death of Hugo Chavez, fellow thug and ladron, the quest for “a more just economic system” is on hold. They have to find another sap who will bankroll them. Since we are now in the 53rd consecutive bad harvest of the “rainbow stew” bush crop the search for “a more just economic system” will be again delayed.
You say that Senator Santorum is “a good Catholic Republican… using his faith as a fig leaf for a libertarian philosophy that grinds the poor”.
Forgive me. I thought I was well read on current events and History. I guess I am not. Further, I think I may have spent the last 5 or 6 decades on one of Jupiter’s lesser moons. Perhaps you could help me.
#1 – With 1900 as the starting point please tell me where and when – country and year – a “good Catholic Republican used his faith as a fig leaf for a libertarian philosophy that ground the poor?
#2 – Which country now has “a good Catholic Republican using his faith as a fig leaf for libertarian philosophy that grinds the poor” in charge?
#3 – Which continent – including Antarctica – has a country run by “a good Catholic Republican who uses his faith as a fig leaf for a libertarian philosophy to better grind the poor”?
#4 - Give up?
#5 – None. Nowhere. No way. No how. Never. Nunca.
Maybe you could tell me which country in Africa has “a good Catholic Republican using his faith as a fig leaf for a libertarian philosophy that grinds the poor”. You can exclude the 5 countries that still countenance slavery. It may take a while to find even “a good Catholic Republican” supply sider. Skip Zimbabwe. That place uses $10,000 bills as Preparation H substitutes. There are rumors, doubtless started by the rabid Republican Right-Wing press, of recipes for a cannibalistic diet for single dads of single moms. Low fat, high protein, no sodium, endless supplies…Don’t tell Mayor Bloomberg about it.
On a more joyous note, if you take a peek at the 2 greatest economic success stories of the past 25 years you find China and India.
45 years ago the Chinese used human excrement to fire up back yard tiny iron smelters. Honest. You could look it up. Whodathunk that today the biggest buyers of First Growth Bordeaux and Lamborghinis would be those wily buggers?
When India ceased exporting surgeons and importing cement plants and stopped using Gandhi as the paradigmatic template of “a more just economic system” the place exploded. It took a while but Kipling was right about those people.
It was as if someone, someone with an enormous sense of irony whether intentional or not, said “Rise up. You have nothing to lose but your chains.”
The more money they make the freer they become. The freer they become the more money they make. Free people with coins in their pocket do not invade their neighbors. Honest. Look it up.
My reference to the Hound should have been clearer. No one ever really leaves the Church. The Hound, the one described by Francis Thompson, is always on the scent. Maybe you can hear him.
Happy Easter!
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Mary Sanchez
The Kansas City Star
RE: Erratum & Addenda – Further comments on your column yesterday in the Miami Herald on Pope Francis and the quest for “a more just economic system”.
Ms. Sanchez,
As superb as my omelets are they really can’t be reheated.
After rereading both your column and my letter I decided, with great trepidation mind you, to fire up the grill and try to gild one of my world famous lilies.
It was Winston Churchill, and Allah willing, we will see his likes again, who said that taxing your way to prosperity is like standing in a bucket and trying to pick yourself up by the handle. I did not give the great man due credit. Mea culpa.
Your reference to “a more just economic system” is like a batting practice pitch. Letter high, off speed, sliders not allowed, and as big as grapefruit. Sometimes it is too easy to hit. Sometimes you over swing.
I think you, as an ink stained “wise Latina”, know where I am going.
For 53 years we have heard the cries for “a more just economic system” in Cuba. After 53 years of pushing that rock up the hill named “a more just economic system” we know that the problems, apparently insurmountable, are threefold:
1 – Breakfast
2 – Lunch
3 – Dinner
Now, with the death of Hugo Chavez, fellow thug and ladron, the quest for “a more just economic system” is on hold. They have to find another sap who will bankroll them. Since we are now in the 53rd consecutive bad harvest of the “rainbow stew” bush crop the search for “a more just economic system” will be again delayed.
You say that Senator Santorum is “a good Catholic Republican… using his faith as a fig leaf for a libertarian philosophy that grinds the poor”.
Forgive me. I thought I was well read on current events and History. I guess I am not. Further, I think I may have spent the last 5 or 6 decades on one of Jupiter’s lesser moons. Perhaps you could help me.
#1 – With 1900 as the starting point please tell me where and when – country and year – a “good Catholic Republican used his faith as a fig leaf for a libertarian philosophy that ground the poor?
#2 – Which country now has “a good Catholic Republican using his faith as a fig leaf for libertarian philosophy that grinds the poor” in charge?
#3 – Which continent – including Antarctica – has a country run by “a good Catholic Republican who uses his faith as a fig leaf for a libertarian philosophy to better grind the poor”?
#4 - Give up?
#5 – None. Nowhere. No way. No how. Never. Nunca.
Maybe you could tell me which country in Africa has “a good Catholic Republican using his faith as a fig leaf for a libertarian philosophy that grinds the poor”. You can exclude the 5 countries that still countenance slavery. It may take a while to find even “a good Catholic Republican” supply sider. Skip Zimbabwe. That place uses $10,000 bills as Preparation H substitutes. There are rumors, doubtless started by the rabid Republican Right-Wing press, of recipes for a cannibalistic diet for single dads of single moms. Low fat, high protein, no sodium, endless supplies…Don’t tell Mayor Bloomberg about it.
On a more joyous note, if you take a peek at the 2 greatest economic success stories of the past 25 years you find China and India.
45 years ago the Chinese used human excrement to fire up back yard tiny iron smelters. Honest. You could look it up. Whodathunk that today the biggest buyers of First Growth Bordeaux and Lamborghinis would be those wily buggers?
When India ceased exporting surgeons and importing cement plants and stopped using Gandhi as the paradigmatic template of “a more just economic system” the place exploded. It took a while but Kipling was right about those people.
It was as if someone, someone with an enormous sense of irony whether intentional or not, said “Rise up. You have nothing to lose but your chains.”
The more money they make the freer they become. The freer they become the more money they make. Free people with coins in their pocket do not invade their neighbors. Honest. Look it up.
My reference to the Hound should have been clearer. No one ever really leaves the Church. The Hound, the one described by Francis Thompson, is always on the scent. Maybe you can hear him.
Happy Easter!
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
March 23, 2013
Rachel Patron
The Sun Sentinel
RE: “A terrible beauty is born”? Was that when it was “slouching to towards Bethlehem” or “Sailing to Byzantium”? How many ways are there to say boob? Let us try and count them?
Ms. Patron,
It’s bad enough that the coven of Sun Sentinel head up their asses, gravity defying, factually challenged, modern American Liberal ink stained wretches – in your case, wenches – hector me about how simple it would be to tax our way to prosperity, how solving poverty will be a breeze once the minimum wage is $38.50 an hour, how Nixon started GlobalCoolingWarmingClimateChangeExtremeWeather after railroading Alger Hiss, why if only Henry Wallace had been elected President it would have been so much different in America, and. alas, why it is still so deuced difficult to get lambs to lie down with those less than irenic lions, but now you have to commit the infamia of insulting Yeats and thinking that no one will notice.
Among the commandments of modern Amer4ican Liberalism so vigorously defended by you and yours at Sun Sentinel World HQ are:
#1 – Abortion, including those in the 4th and 5th trimester, is OK.
#2 – Homosexuality is OK because it is the only 100% fail proof method of birth control.
#3 – Guns of all types, including in Broward County a menacingly extended index finger, are the axes of evil in the modern world, planetary system, universe, and out where the Pioneer Space Probe is peeking.
#4 – Money is good if we can make the poor richer by making the rich poorer, right? That’s based on the hugely successful, much envied Bulgarian model, right. It is the one that Zimbabwe is trying mightily to catch up to.
Since you know nothing of Yeats it is Logical to assume that you know less of Johnson.That’s Samuel Johnson, not Lyndon Johnson. The only poem associated with that Texas poltroon is “Hey, hey LBJ! How many kids did you kill today?” Catchy, wasn’t it?
Samuel Johnson was thinking of you when he wrote
“SUCH STUPIDITY, SIR, IS NOT TO BE FOUND IN NATURE”
Allah knows that the holy season of Lent allows, indeed encourages, redemption and salvation. Since modern American Liberals always commit the sin of false pride when they believe that the horizon can be reached and that all things are possible if enough good minded, bright people want it, your assignment is to find out who said the following:
“SOCIALISM IS THE SEARCH FOR A SYSTEM THAT IS
SO PERFECT THAT NO ONE WILL HAVE TO BE GOOD.”
Here’s a hint, you dunce. It ain’t Yeats.
Kevin Smith
Rachel Patron
The Sun Sentinel
RE: “A terrible beauty is born”? Was that when it was “slouching to towards Bethlehem” or “Sailing to Byzantium”? How many ways are there to say boob? Let us try and count them?
Ms. Patron,
It’s bad enough that the coven of Sun Sentinel head up their asses, gravity defying, factually challenged, modern American Liberal ink stained wretches – in your case, wenches – hector me about how simple it would be to tax our way to prosperity, how solving poverty will be a breeze once the minimum wage is $38.50 an hour, how Nixon started GlobalCoolingWarmingClimateChangeExtremeWeather after railroading Alger Hiss, why if only Henry Wallace had been elected President it would have been so much different in America, and. alas, why it is still so deuced difficult to get lambs to lie down with those less than irenic lions, but now you have to commit the infamia of insulting Yeats and thinking that no one will notice.
Among the commandments of modern Amer4ican Liberalism so vigorously defended by you and yours at Sun Sentinel World HQ are:
#1 – Abortion, including those in the 4th and 5th trimester, is OK.
#2 – Homosexuality is OK because it is the only 100% fail proof method of birth control.
#3 – Guns of all types, including in Broward County a menacingly extended index finger, are the axes of evil in the modern world, planetary system, universe, and out where the Pioneer Space Probe is peeking.
#4 – Money is good if we can make the poor richer by making the rich poorer, right? That’s based on the hugely successful, much envied Bulgarian model, right. It is the one that Zimbabwe is trying mightily to catch up to.
Since you know nothing of Yeats it is Logical to assume that you know less of Johnson.That’s Samuel Johnson, not Lyndon Johnson. The only poem associated with that Texas poltroon is “Hey, hey LBJ! How many kids did you kill today?” Catchy, wasn’t it?
Samuel Johnson was thinking of you when he wrote
“SUCH STUPIDITY, SIR, IS NOT TO BE FOUND IN NATURE”
Allah knows that the holy season of Lent allows, indeed encourages, redemption and salvation. Since modern American Liberals always commit the sin of false pride when they believe that the horizon can be reached and that all things are possible if enough good minded, bright people want it, your assignment is to find out who said the following:
“SOCIALISM IS THE SEARCH FOR A SYSTEM THAT IS
SO PERFECT THAT NO ONE WILL HAVE TO BE GOOD.”
Here’s a hint, you dunce. It ain’t Yeats.
Kevin Smith
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
March 17, 2013
Michael Mayo
The Sun Sentinel
RE: My quest for God’s amazing grace in the sacred/holy season of Lent has overridden my desire to poleaxe you for knowing less than nothing about the Constitution as you plainly and proudly state in today’s unlinkable column in the Sun Sentinel.
Mr. Mayo,
It would be unChristian of me, particularly this close to Holy Week, to say you were dumb so I won’t. It is not the same as being the smartest bear in in the zoo or the world’s tallest midget, particularly since I have long regarded you as being one of the smarter citizens of the nether world on modern American Liberalism, but there’s just so much that you don’t know.
You wield your well documented Progressive cudgels for one Chris Brennan who, until recently, was a helmsman for the Fort Lauderdale Water Taxi Company. The reason he was canned was because of a tree growing in Fort Lauderdale. He publicly proclaimed that it should be spared the woodman’s axe.
The problem is that his employer, the Water Taxi Company, is a tenant of the man who wants to cut the tree down.
I quickly add that I am very much in favor of cutting down trees. My reasons are simple: I love the sounds that cellos make. I like baseball bats because they make unique thunk sound when they hit a pitched baseball. I am still trying to master chop sticks. I am never far from my emergency tooth picks. Strangely enough I sometimes get a chill running up my leg when I touch a newspaper.
Brennan’s boss acted in what he decided was his rational self-interest. He fired him. People forget that you really shouldn’t poke the sleeping dog in the eye.
You say it was an “outrage”.
Would you have said it was an “outrage” if he had been fired for saying that abortions should be outlawed?
Would you have said it was an “outrage” if he had been fired for calling for fewer, not more, gun control laws?
Would you have said it was an “outrage” if he had been fired for trying to solicit recruits for a NAMBLA [North American Man Boy Love Association] sleepover?
Did you say it was an “outrage” when Rush Limbaugh was blackballed out of buying a piece of a NFL franchise?
Antigone spoke up while Thomas More was silent. Both were willing to accept the consequences of their actions. Indeed, they, by calling attention to themselves, insisted on their punishment. Why should Brennan be different? Why should you think it an “outrage”? I daresay your “outrages” are eclectically chosen. All “outrages” are equal; some “outrages” are more equal than others. It is easy to go into high dudgeon mode when your favorite color is plaid.
Here comes the hard part.
The First Amendment begins with the majestic words “Congress shall make no law”.
It doesn’t say the “Water Taxi Company shall make no law”.
It absolutely doesn’t say the “Sun Sentinel shall make no law”.
When was the last time you had a columnist, not an op-ed contributor, who said that Affirmative Action was wrong on all levels, that the Minimum Wage laws were the most anti-Black Federal laws passed in the 20th century, that standing in a long line to vote – I stood in line for 1 hour and 47 minutes, on 3 titanium joints I add, November last – is not prima facie proof of racism, that taxing your way to prosperity is as easy as standing in a pail and picking yourself up by the handle, that all the best intentioned public policies, particularly the ones that have never worked, will still leave the horizon beyond both our reach and our grasp?
I think never is the only acceptable answer. In fact, it is the only possible answer.
Would you be “outraged” if I were to call that an “outraqe”?
Don’t worry. I won’t. If I were to I would have to call the next hurricane an “outrage”.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Michael Mayo
The Sun Sentinel
RE: My quest for God’s amazing grace in the sacred/holy season of Lent has overridden my desire to poleaxe you for knowing less than nothing about the Constitution as you plainly and proudly state in today’s unlinkable column in the Sun Sentinel.
Mr. Mayo,
It would be unChristian of me, particularly this close to Holy Week, to say you were dumb so I won’t. It is not the same as being the smartest bear in in the zoo or the world’s tallest midget, particularly since I have long regarded you as being one of the smarter citizens of the nether world on modern American Liberalism, but there’s just so much that you don’t know.
You wield your well documented Progressive cudgels for one Chris Brennan who, until recently, was a helmsman for the Fort Lauderdale Water Taxi Company. The reason he was canned was because of a tree growing in Fort Lauderdale. He publicly proclaimed that it should be spared the woodman’s axe.
The problem is that his employer, the Water Taxi Company, is a tenant of the man who wants to cut the tree down.
I quickly add that I am very much in favor of cutting down trees. My reasons are simple: I love the sounds that cellos make. I like baseball bats because they make unique thunk sound when they hit a pitched baseball. I am still trying to master chop sticks. I am never far from my emergency tooth picks. Strangely enough I sometimes get a chill running up my leg when I touch a newspaper.
Brennan’s boss acted in what he decided was his rational self-interest. He fired him. People forget that you really shouldn’t poke the sleeping dog in the eye.
You say it was an “outrage”.
Would you have said it was an “outrage” if he had been fired for saying that abortions should be outlawed?
Would you have said it was an “outrage” if he had been fired for calling for fewer, not more, gun control laws?
Would you have said it was an “outrage” if he had been fired for trying to solicit recruits for a NAMBLA [North American Man Boy Love Association] sleepover?
Did you say it was an “outrage” when Rush Limbaugh was blackballed out of buying a piece of a NFL franchise?
Antigone spoke up while Thomas More was silent. Both were willing to accept the consequences of their actions. Indeed, they, by calling attention to themselves, insisted on their punishment. Why should Brennan be different? Why should you think it an “outrage”? I daresay your “outrages” are eclectically chosen. All “outrages” are equal; some “outrages” are more equal than others. It is easy to go into high dudgeon mode when your favorite color is plaid.
Here comes the hard part.
The First Amendment begins with the majestic words “Congress shall make no law”.
It doesn’t say the “Water Taxi Company shall make no law”.
It absolutely doesn’t say the “Sun Sentinel shall make no law”.
When was the last time you had a columnist, not an op-ed contributor, who said that Affirmative Action was wrong on all levels, that the Minimum Wage laws were the most anti-Black Federal laws passed in the 20th century, that standing in a long line to vote – I stood in line for 1 hour and 47 minutes, on 3 titanium joints I add, November last – is not prima facie proof of racism, that taxing your way to prosperity is as easy as standing in a pail and picking yourself up by the handle, that all the best intentioned public policies, particularly the ones that have never worked, will still leave the horizon beyond both our reach and our grasp?
I think never is the only acceptable answer. In fact, it is the only possible answer.
Would you be “outraged” if I were to call that an “outraqe”?
Don’t worry. I won’t. If I were to I would have to call the next hurricane an “outrage”.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
March 9, 2013
Lisa Huriash
The Sun Sentinel
500 E. Broward Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33312
RE: How many illegal votes were cast? – Some comments on your article about a recall effort in Tamarac being voided because – Whodathunk? – dead people voted in Broward County.
Ms. Huriash,
Let us stipulate that the recent acquittal of Tamarac Commissioner Patte Atkins-Grad, an acquittal based on the increasingly popular “I am a moron” defense, does not rise to the level of O.J. Simpson getting a pass on fileting his wife and her waiter. Still, it raises a stink in the nostrils of honest men that lingers. The more I see the more I realize that Plato was right when he wrote that “there are some professions in which it is impossible to be honorable”.
You write that the recall effort “fell 18 votes short of the required 1,250 registered voters in the district”. Further, you say that “more than 200 signatures were discarded because they weren’t registered or eligible to vote, lived in the wrong district or signed more than once”.
“more than 200” indicates a tally going from 201 to 299. The percentage goes from 16% to 25%.
Despite protestations to the contrary from perpetually outraged modern American Liberals who, like their banshee forebears, scream how dare you even suggest the possibility of voter fraud WOULD NOT LOGIC DICTATE that the same percentages of fraud could exist in other elections?
If I had been born on a farm the lesson of the rooster would not have been lost on me. I was born in Bayonne, N.J. and the annual resurrection of dead Democrats was observed every election day. Honest. You could look it up.
Is it racism per se to suggest that voting should be at least as hard as getting into a hospital or boarding an airline?
Kevin Smith
Lisa Huriash
The Sun Sentinel
500 E. Broward Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33312
RE: How many illegal votes were cast? – Some comments on your article about a recall effort in Tamarac being voided because – Whodathunk? – dead people voted in Broward County.
Ms. Huriash,
Let us stipulate that the recent acquittal of Tamarac Commissioner Patte Atkins-Grad, an acquittal based on the increasingly popular “I am a moron” defense, does not rise to the level of O.J. Simpson getting a pass on fileting his wife and her waiter. Still, it raises a stink in the nostrils of honest men that lingers. The more I see the more I realize that Plato was right when he wrote that “there are some professions in which it is impossible to be honorable”.
You write that the recall effort “fell 18 votes short of the required 1,250 registered voters in the district”. Further, you say that “more than 200 signatures were discarded because they weren’t registered or eligible to vote, lived in the wrong district or signed more than once”.
“more than 200” indicates a tally going from 201 to 299. The percentage goes from 16% to 25%.
Despite protestations to the contrary from perpetually outraged modern American Liberals who, like their banshee forebears, scream how dare you even suggest the possibility of voter fraud WOULD NOT LOGIC DICTATE that the same percentages of fraud could exist in other elections?
If I had been born on a farm the lesson of the rooster would not have been lost on me. I was born in Bayonne, N.J. and the annual resurrection of dead Democrats was observed every election day. Honest. You could look it up.
Is it racism per se to suggest that voting should be at least as hard as getting into a hospital or boarding an airline?
Kevin Smith
March 18, 2013
Mary Sanchez
The Kansas City Star
RE: The Pope and do we slice the pie thinner or make it bigger? “Experience is the only school that some people can learn at” as Burke said and you proved yet again with your column in today’s Miami Herald.
Ms. Sanchez,
Perhaps I am doomed to be a modern day Sisyphus.
I enjoy reading your to Hell with gravity columns particularly when they touch on things as real as your boot. Thus I was a bit surprised when it took you more than half to get to your Sisyphean moment.
In its entirety…
“This is the social question of the moment. How far will
Francis go to press his natural constituency on the
right wing to establish a more just economic system?”
First, the question is so dumb as to merit its own lapidary inscription in the next issue of the Guinness Book of Records. You imply that the road to farting through silk depends on unjustly rich people giving “more” to the undeserving poor. If you believe that you shouldn’t be operating heavy machinery or handling sharp objects. Check your meds. You may be tripling up on Mother’s little helper. Those white rabbits may be gaining on you.
Second, define “just” as in a “more just economic system”. Declarative sentences are always best. Further, in your definition of said system do no tell me what you expect this as yet undefined “system” to do. Who doesn’t want plumb babies? Who doesn’t want to see a contentedly secure senior citizen group? Who doesn’t want to see an expanding middle class? Who doesn’t want to see the undrowning of polar bears, our newest victim group? Who doesn’t want to see solar powered windmills helping to drive gasless cars up the hill? Allah knows I do.
Alas, Allah is in the details.
#! – What system do you propose?
#2 – Has there been a working model anytime, anywhere a working model of such a system?
#3 - If there is could you give me specifics as to time and place?
Modern American Liberals are blessed by the ability to never, ever ever let facts interfere with their arguments.
Here are a few facts that, should you ever become familiar with them, “The Gods of the Copybook Ledgers” will gladly share with you.
A – If a rich man were to “sell all and give to the poor” the only thing guaranteed is that there would be one more poor man.
B – Any system that takes its “Action this day” marching orders from a jackass, however literate and unctuous sounding, who says that we will make the poor richer by making the rich poorer is doomed to failure. Anyone preaching thus should be hunted down by large, snarling vicious hounds and torn to shreds.
If, as you say, “some people cannot live up to Catholic teaching”, the road open to them has been clearly marked by people as disparate as Martin Luther and Henry the 8th. There is a lot to be said for someone who says “I cannot, I will not recant” and then follows it to its Logical conclusion.
If your restaurant has a menu that does not fit your current tastes why do insist that they change it to accommodate you? Why do you insist that blanched tofu be the new signature dish? There are many restaurants in town. Go and find one where you feel comfortable.
“The Church has not been tried and found wanting:
It has been tried and found difficult.”
G. K. Chesterton
The Church no longer consigns heretics to either Gahanna or Avernus. It suggests that you just go. From a spiritual side it is probably easier to get back in that it is to get out.
We are 2 weeks from Easter. Redemption and salvation are there for the taking. The “poor we will have with us always”. If we didn’t you would be out of a job.
Be of good cheer when I tell you that the Hound is always there.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Mary Sanchez
The Kansas City Star
RE: The Pope and do we slice the pie thinner or make it bigger? “Experience is the only school that some people can learn at” as Burke said and you proved yet again with your column in today’s Miami Herald.
Ms. Sanchez,
Perhaps I am doomed to be a modern day Sisyphus.
I enjoy reading your to Hell with gravity columns particularly when they touch on things as real as your boot. Thus I was a bit surprised when it took you more than half to get to your Sisyphean moment.
In its entirety…
“This is the social question of the moment. How far will
Francis go to press his natural constituency on the
right wing to establish a more just economic system?”
First, the question is so dumb as to merit its own lapidary inscription in the next issue of the Guinness Book of Records. You imply that the road to farting through silk depends on unjustly rich people giving “more” to the undeserving poor. If you believe that you shouldn’t be operating heavy machinery or handling sharp objects. Check your meds. You may be tripling up on Mother’s little helper. Those white rabbits may be gaining on you.
Second, define “just” as in a “more just economic system”. Declarative sentences are always best. Further, in your definition of said system do no tell me what you expect this as yet undefined “system” to do. Who doesn’t want plumb babies? Who doesn’t want to see a contentedly secure senior citizen group? Who doesn’t want to see an expanding middle class? Who doesn’t want to see the undrowning of polar bears, our newest victim group? Who doesn’t want to see solar powered windmills helping to drive gasless cars up the hill? Allah knows I do.
Alas, Allah is in the details.
#! – What system do you propose?
#2 – Has there been a working model anytime, anywhere a working model of such a system?
#3 - If there is could you give me specifics as to time and place?
Modern American Liberals are blessed by the ability to never, ever ever let facts interfere with their arguments.
Here are a few facts that, should you ever become familiar with them, “The Gods of the Copybook Ledgers” will gladly share with you.
A – If a rich man were to “sell all and give to the poor” the only thing guaranteed is that there would be one more poor man.
B – Any system that takes its “Action this day” marching orders from a jackass, however literate and unctuous sounding, who says that we will make the poor richer by making the rich poorer is doomed to failure. Anyone preaching thus should be hunted down by large, snarling vicious hounds and torn to shreds.
If, as you say, “some people cannot live up to Catholic teaching”, the road open to them has been clearly marked by people as disparate as Martin Luther and Henry the 8th. There is a lot to be said for someone who says “I cannot, I will not recant” and then follows it to its Logical conclusion.
If your restaurant has a menu that does not fit your current tastes why do insist that they change it to accommodate you? Why do you insist that blanched tofu be the new signature dish? There are many restaurants in town. Go and find one where you feel comfortable.
“The Church has not been tried and found wanting:
It has been tried and found difficult.”
G. K. Chesterton
The Church no longer consigns heretics to either Gahanna or Avernus. It suggests that you just go. From a spiritual side it is probably easier to get back in that it is to get out.
We are 2 weeks from Easter. Redemption and salvation are there for the taking. The “poor we will have with us always”. If we didn’t you would be out of a job.
Be of good cheer when I tell you that the Hound is always there.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Sunday, March 17, 2013
March 17, 2013
Steven L. Goldstein
The Sun Sentinel
RE: Habemus papam, 1978, and the Bush family – Some comments on your perpetually angst filled column on if you think things are bad now just wait.
My dear Professor,
Ave Papam Frankie!
The new Pope’s first outreach program is to grant Catholics one indulgence in the holy season of Lent. [ Who says I ain’t a multiculturalist? I have learned from our irenic Muslim brothers that anything that has anything to do with my religion will henceforth be either holy and/or sacred. Who knew that bingo was sacred? I didn’t. I do now. Next year’s all Catholic Big East basketball league will be holy. Allah damn it! Those WOGS are on to something, aren’t they? And there is no need to call them filthy WOGs. They are such per se.].
I will use my indulgence to break a vow to refrain from using you as the paradigmatic template for mush brained but meaner than cat shit modern American Liberals during the holy and sacred season of Lent. As such, you were always there for piñata poleaxing practice for me.
You mentioned in your Friday column that, should the evils of representative Democracy prevail and give you elected officials who don’t think that Midnight Basketball is good public policy, you wish to be transported back to the glory years of 1978.
1978
The Glory Years
JIMMY CARTER
The desire for a clean conscience in the holy/sacred season of Lent demands that I list 3 good things that he did.
#1 – He did not get to nominate any Supreme Court Justices.
#2 – He was so Homerically bad that he made it easy for the Great Reagan to take over and save the world from the Russkies.
#3 – He helped his brother, Billy Clyde, get a job with Muammar Khadafi.
If it were a football game I would be penalized for piling on if I mentioned that, in addition to not being able to find his ass using both his hands, he was so inept that he couldn’t get 5 helicopters to work. 16.5% T bills and 18.5% mortgages. It may have been the other way around. If you remember let me know.
If he had become Superintendent of the Sea Shore, once he found that he could not control the tides, he would have to buy sand.
On the other hand I can see you being repeatedly ravaged and ravished by a killer rabbit. There would be a line of Brer Rabbits and Peter Cottontails lined up far beyond the briar patch waiting to get their ears wrapped around you.
I search, vainly, for a synonym for putz.
But then came Sunday.
In case you’ve forgotten, Bills of Attainder are specifically forbidden by the Constitution. Because of that the sins of the father, real or imagined, cannot be visited upon the son[s]
The thought of another Bush puts your knickers in such a knot that should you require an industrial strength stool softener it would be wise not to stand close to your ears. Wearing a Haz-Mat suit would be prudent.
A quick trip down memory lane may be in order.
John Adams is most remembered for the Alien and Sedition Act and being involved in the 2nd dirtiest political campaign in American History. His son, JQ Adams, is most remembered for being involved in the dirtiest political campaign in American History.
Which brings us to the Kennedys, the Mother Lode of American dynasties.
Papa Joe, a philandering, stock swindling, boot-legger, who didn’t much like Jews. That makes it is easy to understand why he was a Hitler fan. Honest. You could look it up.
The first thing John Fitzgerald K did was to give his brother, Robert Francis K, a job. He made him Attorney General. He told the fawning press that he wanted to “give his kid brother some legal experience”. Before it was OK to “get chills up your leg”, the DC press became priapristically tumescent and learned to wear dark trousers when the President deigned to speak to them lest they embarrass themselves. Every ink stained wretch and wench save for Art Buchwald [The wenches, Sarah McClendon, Nancy Dickerson, Helen Thomas, inter alia. would immediately go into journalistic estrus when he wiggled his little finger at them.] swooned. Kennedy wanted Buchwald’s employer, the New York Herald Tribune, to send him out of the country. Honest. You could look it up.
Doubtless you remember that Bobby’s first job in Washington was as Counsel to Senator McCarthy. No, it wasn’t Gene; it was Joe. Honest. You could look it up.
The first things Bobby did were to wiretap Martin Luther King and try to kill Castro. Honest. You could look it up.
Meanwhile, there was an item since rocketed down the modern American Liberal memory hole. That’s where things go that fall under the category of “eclectic indignation”. It was his tax cuts that still drive the bug-eyed apes who think that “Midnight Basketball” is good public policy and that the way to cure poverty is to raise the minimum wage to $32.50 an hour. They were the largest tax cuts in 40 years. And they worked. Honest. You could look it up.
Jack set a record for Oval Office philandering that stood for almost 30 years. It took President Handsome Billy from Hot Springs, the King of the One-Eyed Trouser Snakes, to break it
Jack decided not to get us into Vietnam by getting us into Vietnam. Had Goldwater been elected whatever the United States did in Vietnam, whatever, go or stay, would have been over by Father’s Day, 1965. 58,000 names would not have been on the wall in DC because the wall would not have been built.
Lard, his Senator brother, had one lasting highlight in his life. He killed Mary Jo Kopechne. His nephew Joe, also a Congressman, only paralyzed one. His son Partick, yet another Congressman, proved that it is very, very good to be President of the Lucky Sperm Club. His niece, Kathleen Kennedy Townsend, the Lieutenant Governor of Maryland, was so dumb she made cold milk curdle. Honest. You could look it up.
Whatever arguments you can make about the policies of the Bushes, pere et fils et fils, it must be said that they got home for dinner, loved their wives, and raised good children. By “good” children I will use the Same Peckinpah definition: “They were able to enter their father’s house honorably.”
“People need to ask him [Jeb Bush] what he
believes are the proper roles of government.”
Sun Sentinel
Today
You
Funny you should mention that.
3 things leap to mind.
#1 – James Madison spelled out in declarative sentences what government can do.
#2 – George Mason spelled out in declarative sentences what government cannot do.
You will find both, surprisingly for you, in the same document. It is called the Constitution of the United States. It’s been around since 1787. It has been changed 27 times since with 12 of them coming before 1805
Honest. You could look it up.
#3 – This could be the most important of the three. James Madison, the same James Madison as in #1, replied when asked what was the most important trait to look for in a candidate for any public office, “Character. Character is all.”
I estimate it will take 50 Years and multiple yet undiscovered DNA contributors before any Kennedy can be said to possess “good character”. 50 years? That would bring us to 2063.
Since I am as Irish and as Catholic as those poltroons and poltroonessess, and since I am operating under a nihil obstat from Frank the First, I can say these things without fear, either temporal or eternal.
I shall go back to my long silence, said silence ending joyously on Easter Sunday.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Steven L. Goldstein
The Sun Sentinel
RE: Habemus papam, 1978, and the Bush family – Some comments on your perpetually angst filled column on if you think things are bad now just wait.
My dear Professor,
Ave Papam Frankie!
The new Pope’s first outreach program is to grant Catholics one indulgence in the holy season of Lent. [ Who says I ain’t a multiculturalist? I have learned from our irenic Muslim brothers that anything that has anything to do with my religion will henceforth be either holy and/or sacred. Who knew that bingo was sacred? I didn’t. I do now. Next year’s all Catholic Big East basketball league will be holy. Allah damn it! Those WOGS are on to something, aren’t they? And there is no need to call them filthy WOGs. They are such per se.].
I will use my indulgence to break a vow to refrain from using you as the paradigmatic template for mush brained but meaner than cat shit modern American Liberals during the holy and sacred season of Lent. As such, you were always there for piñata poleaxing practice for me.
You mentioned in your Friday column that, should the evils of representative Democracy prevail and give you elected officials who don’t think that Midnight Basketball is good public policy, you wish to be transported back to the glory years of 1978.
1978
The Glory Years
JIMMY CARTER
The desire for a clean conscience in the holy/sacred season of Lent demands that I list 3 good things that he did.
#1 – He did not get to nominate any Supreme Court Justices.
#2 – He was so Homerically bad that he made it easy for the Great Reagan to take over and save the world from the Russkies.
#3 – He helped his brother, Billy Clyde, get a job with Muammar Khadafi.
If it were a football game I would be penalized for piling on if I mentioned that, in addition to not being able to find his ass using both his hands, he was so inept that he couldn’t get 5 helicopters to work. 16.5% T bills and 18.5% mortgages. It may have been the other way around. If you remember let me know.
If he had become Superintendent of the Sea Shore, once he found that he could not control the tides, he would have to buy sand.
On the other hand I can see you being repeatedly ravaged and ravished by a killer rabbit. There would be a line of Brer Rabbits and Peter Cottontails lined up far beyond the briar patch waiting to get their ears wrapped around you.
I search, vainly, for a synonym for putz.
But then came Sunday.
In case you’ve forgotten, Bills of Attainder are specifically forbidden by the Constitution. Because of that the sins of the father, real or imagined, cannot be visited upon the son[s]
The thought of another Bush puts your knickers in such a knot that should you require an industrial strength stool softener it would be wise not to stand close to your ears. Wearing a Haz-Mat suit would be prudent.
A quick trip down memory lane may be in order.
John Adams is most remembered for the Alien and Sedition Act and being involved in the 2nd dirtiest political campaign in American History. His son, JQ Adams, is most remembered for being involved in the dirtiest political campaign in American History.
Which brings us to the Kennedys, the Mother Lode of American dynasties.
Papa Joe, a philandering, stock swindling, boot-legger, who didn’t much like Jews. That makes it is easy to understand why he was a Hitler fan. Honest. You could look it up.
The first thing John Fitzgerald K did was to give his brother, Robert Francis K, a job. He made him Attorney General. He told the fawning press that he wanted to “give his kid brother some legal experience”. Before it was OK to “get chills up your leg”, the DC press became priapristically tumescent and learned to wear dark trousers when the President deigned to speak to them lest they embarrass themselves. Every ink stained wretch and wench save for Art Buchwald [The wenches, Sarah McClendon, Nancy Dickerson, Helen Thomas, inter alia. would immediately go into journalistic estrus when he wiggled his little finger at them.] swooned. Kennedy wanted Buchwald’s employer, the New York Herald Tribune, to send him out of the country. Honest. You could look it up.
Doubtless you remember that Bobby’s first job in Washington was as Counsel to Senator McCarthy. No, it wasn’t Gene; it was Joe. Honest. You could look it up.
The first things Bobby did were to wiretap Martin Luther King and try to kill Castro. Honest. You could look it up.
Meanwhile, there was an item since rocketed down the modern American Liberal memory hole. That’s where things go that fall under the category of “eclectic indignation”. It was his tax cuts that still drive the bug-eyed apes who think that “Midnight Basketball” is good public policy and that the way to cure poverty is to raise the minimum wage to $32.50 an hour. They were the largest tax cuts in 40 years. And they worked. Honest. You could look it up.
Jack set a record for Oval Office philandering that stood for almost 30 years. It took President Handsome Billy from Hot Springs, the King of the One-Eyed Trouser Snakes, to break it
Jack decided not to get us into Vietnam by getting us into Vietnam. Had Goldwater been elected whatever the United States did in Vietnam, whatever, go or stay, would have been over by Father’s Day, 1965. 58,000 names would not have been on the wall in DC because the wall would not have been built.
Lard, his Senator brother, had one lasting highlight in his life. He killed Mary Jo Kopechne. His nephew Joe, also a Congressman, only paralyzed one. His son Partick, yet another Congressman, proved that it is very, very good to be President of the Lucky Sperm Club. His niece, Kathleen Kennedy Townsend, the Lieutenant Governor of Maryland, was so dumb she made cold milk curdle. Honest. You could look it up.
Whatever arguments you can make about the policies of the Bushes, pere et fils et fils, it must be said that they got home for dinner, loved their wives, and raised good children. By “good” children I will use the Same Peckinpah definition: “They were able to enter their father’s house honorably.”
“People need to ask him [Jeb Bush] what he
believes are the proper roles of government.”
Sun Sentinel
Today
You
Funny you should mention that.
3 things leap to mind.
#1 – James Madison spelled out in declarative sentences what government can do.
#2 – George Mason spelled out in declarative sentences what government cannot do.
You will find both, surprisingly for you, in the same document. It is called the Constitution of the United States. It’s been around since 1787. It has been changed 27 times since with 12 of them coming before 1805
Honest. You could look it up.
#3 – This could be the most important of the three. James Madison, the same James Madison as in #1, replied when asked what was the most important trait to look for in a candidate for any public office, “Character. Character is all.”
I estimate it will take 50 Years and multiple yet undiscovered DNA contributors before any Kennedy can be said to possess “good character”. 50 years? That would bring us to 2063.
Since I am as Irish and as Catholic as those poltroons and poltroonessess, and since I am operating under a nihil obstat from Frank the First, I can say these things without fear, either temporal or eternal.
I shall go back to my long silence, said silence ending joyously on Easter Sunday.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
March 6, 2013
Michael Putney
The Miami Herald
Mikey!
Just when I thought it was going to be another day of “vainly fighting the old ennui” I came to your column. [I read the Sun Sentinel first]
Just like a Viagra enema!
I think – thought – that Crist is a toad whose favorite color is was – is – plaid. I think he would be the easiest candidate for Scott to beat. It’s always a shame when both can’t lose. But that’s not why I write.
Lower case global warming [your choice] is the reason.
One of my most treasured possessions is a 1971 copy of “The Population Bomb” by Paul Ehrlich, Ph.D. You may remember that he was a regular on the Johnny Carson Show. He came on right after the guy with the snakes and before either Don Rickles or Joan Rivers.
He said over and over that the “End of Days” was near. He said it would be a photo finish between starvation and Global Cooling. The finish line was halftime of the 2000 Rose Bowl, still the Granddaddy of Them All. He also said that the Roman Catholic Church was the main, in fact, the only culprit.
Today, March 6, 2013, finds me alive as are my creidtors, with my A/C on low, and both folliclely and calorically challenged.
As to the good Professor….
IT STILL SOUNDS LIKE BULLSHIT TO ME
Masters of Rhetoric challenge boobish Sophists by denying their major premise.
When I would finish my ever so gentle keelhauling and/or bastinadoing of a GlobalCollingGlobalWarmingClimateChange ohmadahn my wife would say to me, “That’s why people never ask us back”.
Why would anyone be opposed to saving the planet?
Follow the bouncing ball as I count the ways.
A – The earth warms.
B – More land becomes arable
C – More arable land means more protein
D – More protein means smarter people.
E – There was an upward spike in temperature 1200 years ago.
F – The Renaissance – Do you have a problem with that?
G – All those in favor of an Ice Age prepare to sit on my bayonet
H – Stand on the trap door marked “Lunatics”
I – Remove bayonet from rectum and cut off your nose.
J – Hasta la vista, you friggin’ nitwit.
In the glory days of Nixon, when he stopped the draft, introduced wage and price controls, and the EPA I would emerge from my shower and reach for the Right Guard. A quick squirt under each arm followed by a long squirt out the bathroom window. It was the least I could do to join in the fight against the dreaded ozone layer.
The entire climate change argument is based on tautologies on steroids. It makes the Bermuda Triangle folderol seem as precise as the multiplication table or Latin 1 or PI.
President Clinton announced that it was very hot in Washington in August because of Global Warming. Global Warming was then made worse by, you guessed it, hot summer days in Washington “Hot summer days in Washington” Who knew? Why didn’t someone tell me?
Pop quiz – How did Greenland get its name? Don’t know? Send a SASE.
Full disclosure requires me to tell you that my favorite climactic meteorologist is Professor Antonio “Big Red” Vivaldi.
What do cold winters, warm winters, tsunamis, fog, lake effect snow, “What is so rare as a day in June”, a confused Punxatawney Phil, hurricanes happening in Hampshire, :La Nina, El Nino, los Viejos, still born lambs, drowning polar bears, vernal equinoxes, asteroid fly-bys, the “Tea Party”, $9 beer at Dolphins Stadium, les merdes du Quebec, ginormous carbon footprints, Zap Mail, gas guzzling SUVs, coal, frost South of Frostproof, unniceness South of Niceville, summer colds, spring allergies,, autumn leaves, winter blues, Lite beer, plaid shirts and striped ties, les merdes du Quebec – There, I said it again, the perpetually heartbreaking heartbreak of psoriasis, the return of the Mayans and this time “No more Mr. Nice Guy”, the possible return of Alar, AKA the end of life as we know it on this planet, concupiscence, Big Gulps, taxing our way to prosperity, hope and change, and Michelle Obama’s exponentially burgeoning booty have in common?
They were all caused by – drum roll – man.
Having seen an infant die of malaria I would feed all the peregrine falcon eggs to Brer Fox and his extended family. Thanks to Rachel Carson 2,000,000 sub-Saharan Black babies die each year from malaria. DDT would save them. Rich White folk cared more about predatory raptors than they did about living, breathing people
Albert Arnold Gore, Jr. AKA Alpha Gump is the world’s biggest horse’s ass
I speak for man, the most endangered species of all.
I end with Faulkner.
“Man will not only endure. He will prevail.”
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Michael Putney
The Miami Herald
Mikey!
Just when I thought it was going to be another day of “vainly fighting the old ennui” I came to your column. [I read the Sun Sentinel first]
Just like a Viagra enema!
I think – thought – that Crist is a toad whose favorite color is was – is – plaid. I think he would be the easiest candidate for Scott to beat. It’s always a shame when both can’t lose. But that’s not why I write.
Lower case global warming [your choice] is the reason.
One of my most treasured possessions is a 1971 copy of “The Population Bomb” by Paul Ehrlich, Ph.D. You may remember that he was a regular on the Johnny Carson Show. He came on right after the guy with the snakes and before either Don Rickles or Joan Rivers.
He said over and over that the “End of Days” was near. He said it would be a photo finish between starvation and Global Cooling. The finish line was halftime of the 2000 Rose Bowl, still the Granddaddy of Them All. He also said that the Roman Catholic Church was the main, in fact, the only culprit.
Today, March 6, 2013, finds me alive as are my creidtors, with my A/C on low, and both folliclely and calorically challenged.
As to the good Professor….
IT STILL SOUNDS LIKE BULLSHIT TO ME
Masters of Rhetoric challenge boobish Sophists by denying their major premise.
When I would finish my ever so gentle keelhauling and/or bastinadoing of a GlobalCollingGlobalWarmingClimateChange ohmadahn my wife would say to me, “That’s why people never ask us back”.
Why would anyone be opposed to saving the planet?
Follow the bouncing ball as I count the ways.
A – The earth warms.
B – More land becomes arable
C – More arable land means more protein
D – More protein means smarter people.
E – There was an upward spike in temperature 1200 years ago.
F – The Renaissance – Do you have a problem with that?
G – All those in favor of an Ice Age prepare to sit on my bayonet
H – Stand on the trap door marked “Lunatics”
I – Remove bayonet from rectum and cut off your nose.
J – Hasta la vista, you friggin’ nitwit.
In the glory days of Nixon, when he stopped the draft, introduced wage and price controls, and the EPA I would emerge from my shower and reach for the Right Guard. A quick squirt under each arm followed by a long squirt out the bathroom window. It was the least I could do to join in the fight against the dreaded ozone layer.
The entire climate change argument is based on tautologies on steroids. It makes the Bermuda Triangle folderol seem as precise as the multiplication table or Latin 1 or PI.
President Clinton announced that it was very hot in Washington in August because of Global Warming. Global Warming was then made worse by, you guessed it, hot summer days in Washington “Hot summer days in Washington” Who knew? Why didn’t someone tell me?
Pop quiz – How did Greenland get its name? Don’t know? Send a SASE.
Full disclosure requires me to tell you that my favorite climactic meteorologist is Professor Antonio “Big Red” Vivaldi.
What do cold winters, warm winters, tsunamis, fog, lake effect snow, “What is so rare as a day in June”, a confused Punxatawney Phil, hurricanes happening in Hampshire, :La Nina, El Nino, los Viejos, still born lambs, drowning polar bears, vernal equinoxes, asteroid fly-bys, the “Tea Party”, $9 beer at Dolphins Stadium, les merdes du Quebec, ginormous carbon footprints, Zap Mail, gas guzzling SUVs, coal, frost South of Frostproof, unniceness South of Niceville, summer colds, spring allergies,, autumn leaves, winter blues, Lite beer, plaid shirts and striped ties, les merdes du Quebec – There, I said it again, the perpetually heartbreaking heartbreak of psoriasis, the return of the Mayans and this time “No more Mr. Nice Guy”, the possible return of Alar, AKA the end of life as we know it on this planet, concupiscence, Big Gulps, taxing our way to prosperity, hope and change, and Michelle Obama’s exponentially burgeoning booty have in common?
They were all caused by – drum roll – man.
Having seen an infant die of malaria I would feed all the peregrine falcon eggs to Brer Fox and his extended family. Thanks to Rachel Carson 2,000,000 sub-Saharan Black babies die each year from malaria. DDT would save them. Rich White folk cared more about predatory raptors than they did about living, breathing people
Albert Arnold Gore, Jr. AKA Alpha Gump is the world’s biggest horse’s ass
I speak for man, the most endangered species of all.
I end with Faulkner.
“Man will not only endure. He will prevail.”
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
March 3, 2013
Congressman James Clyburn
130 W .Main Street
Kingtree, SC 29556
RE: White pots and Black kettles
Mr. Clyburn,
If, as you supposedly said, Justice Scalia is “white and proud”, and I know that you didn’t mean that as a compliment, could you tell me the difference between what you said about Scalia and what James Brown said about himself? If memory serves he was “black and proud”.
Do you have a position on either “yellow and proud” or “red and proud”?
Kevin Smith
Congressman James Clyburn
130 W .Main Street
Kingtree, SC 29556
RE: White pots and Black kettles
Mr. Clyburn,
If, as you supposedly said, Justice Scalia is “white and proud”, and I know that you didn’t mean that as a compliment, could you tell me the difference between what you said about Scalia and what James Brown said about himself? If memory serves he was “black and proud”.
Do you have a position on either “yellow and proud” or “red and proud”?
Kevin Smith
Saturday, March 2, 2013
March 2, 2013
Douglas C. Lyons
The Sun Sentinel
RE: Oliver Cromwell, a still relevant DWEM tradition, and trying to avoid “R”, today’s most infamous Scarlet Letter, the branding of which can never be undone. – Some comments on your column in today’s Sun Sentinel. I add, somewhat gratuitously, that your publishing on this, the infamous first day of Sequestration, is worthy of Pulitzer attention. If not Joseph, certainly Lily.
Mr. Lyons,
Oliver Cromwell, the author of a not quite big league Holocaust – Can Holocaust be quantified? – in the country of my forebears, said to a non-complying Parliament, “I beseech you in the bowels to Christ to consider that you may be wrong”.
The “still relevant DWEM tradition” that I refer to is the presumption of innocence. It is a gift of Natural Law that we receive at birth. It comes from beyond the stars. Does it cover George Zimmerman or does its comforting aegis stop with O.J. Simpson?
[As a journalist, do you think the New York Times’ characterization of George Zimmerman as a “white Hispanic” is –A- fair reportage or –B- race baiting cum pandering a la the Duke University lacrosse team, all of whom were melanin challenged and, as such, presumptively guilty Republican racist rapists?]
You exhibition of the genetic dispositions of a dedicated modern American Liberal is invoountary. Absent any concern for, or even awareness of, the permanent things, you say that the law, any law, is bad if it does not advance the Progressive policy du jour.
Modern American Liberals proclaim that they don’t want to get into any discussion between a physician and his patient, excepting one where the MD gets to ask if the patient is packing. Will he get a bonus Medicaid/Medicare payment if he tells who is carrying a hog leg?
You also say that “state law prohibits local government from creating laws regulating fire arms”.
I hate [not really] to be the one who breaks this to you but state laws and its Big Brother, Federal laws, “prohibit[s] local government from creating laws” regulating a lot of things
Fort Lauderdale cannot have its own rules governing contracts.
Palm Beach cannot lower the Florida sales tax within its borders.
Miami cannot prohibit a road sign saying that Obama is both a horse’s ass and a pompous fart and Biden is a moron.
And while ink-stained wretches can convict a perpetrator – “alleged” of course – because of the race of the victim or said perpetrator – “alleged”, of course – it does so at a great disservice to the common weal of the body politic.
Should a silver tongued advocate, say Moishe Gonzales, AKA “Werewolf”, convince a la Johnny Cochrane, 12 of George Zimmerman’s peers that he did not do it will Trayvon Martin’s extended family take to the streets and exercise their right to, as Congresswoman Maxine Waters describes it, “alternative shopping”?
Are the PC word police heating up the dreaded “R” branding iron for me?
Let me know.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Douglas C. Lyons
The Sun Sentinel
RE: Oliver Cromwell, a still relevant DWEM tradition, and trying to avoid “R”, today’s most infamous Scarlet Letter, the branding of which can never be undone. – Some comments on your column in today’s Sun Sentinel. I add, somewhat gratuitously, that your publishing on this, the infamous first day of Sequestration, is worthy of Pulitzer attention. If not Joseph, certainly Lily.
Mr. Lyons,
Oliver Cromwell, the author of a not quite big league Holocaust – Can Holocaust be quantified? – in the country of my forebears, said to a non-complying Parliament, “I beseech you in the bowels to Christ to consider that you may be wrong”.
The “still relevant DWEM tradition” that I refer to is the presumption of innocence. It is a gift of Natural Law that we receive at birth. It comes from beyond the stars. Does it cover George Zimmerman or does its comforting aegis stop with O.J. Simpson?
[As a journalist, do you think the New York Times’ characterization of George Zimmerman as a “white Hispanic” is –A- fair reportage or –B- race baiting cum pandering a la the Duke University lacrosse team, all of whom were melanin challenged and, as such, presumptively guilty Republican racist rapists?]
You exhibition of the genetic dispositions of a dedicated modern American Liberal is invoountary. Absent any concern for, or even awareness of, the permanent things, you say that the law, any law, is bad if it does not advance the Progressive policy du jour.
Modern American Liberals proclaim that they don’t want to get into any discussion between a physician and his patient, excepting one where the MD gets to ask if the patient is packing. Will he get a bonus Medicaid/Medicare payment if he tells who is carrying a hog leg?
You also say that “state law prohibits local government from creating laws regulating fire arms”.
I hate [not really] to be the one who breaks this to you but state laws and its Big Brother, Federal laws, “prohibit[s] local government from creating laws” regulating a lot of things
Fort Lauderdale cannot have its own rules governing contracts.
Palm Beach cannot lower the Florida sales tax within its borders.
Miami cannot prohibit a road sign saying that Obama is both a horse’s ass and a pompous fart and Biden is a moron.
And while ink-stained wretches can convict a perpetrator – “alleged” of course – because of the race of the victim or said perpetrator – “alleged”, of course – it does so at a great disservice to the common weal of the body politic.
Should a silver tongued advocate, say Moishe Gonzales, AKA “Werewolf”, convince a la Johnny Cochrane, 12 of George Zimmerman’s peers that he did not do it will Trayvon Martin’s extended family take to the streets and exercise their right to, as Congresswoman Maxine Waters describes it, “alternative shopping”?
Are the PC word police heating up the dreaded “R” branding iron for me?
Let me know.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Sunday, February 24, 2013
February 23, 2013
Congresswoman Frederica Wilson
10100 Pines Blvd – B Building
Pembroke Pines, FL 33025
RE: Say what? – Some comments on your op-ed article about those nasty Republicans and how they want to starve babies, kill seniors, and kill senior polar bears.
Congressperson Wilson,
I thought today would be a great day for making manatee sausage. The babies are yummy plus they are low fat and low sodium. And a big shout out to Michelle Obama for guiding us on the path to better living through tofu.
Then I read your article.
One of your on-line bios says that you have two degrees. One Bachelor’s degree and one Master’s degree. Reading your article I was certain that neither was in Logic or Math.
Several things leapt to mind.
#1 – Don’t you think you should begin calling your most recent degree a Mistress of Elementary Education? If chicks can grab a weapon and go face the elephant and maybe play catch up ball at Arlington Cemetery don’t you think society should reflect their unique contributions?
#2 – A Bachelor’s or a Master’s degree in education ranks somewhere between the widest building in Wichita and the world’s tallest midget. I was going to include “the smartest bear in the zoo” but I didn’t.
Further, you say that you were elected “overwhelmingly” by your constituents. Alas, the way your district was rigged the woman convicted of killing Rilya Wilson would have been elected. O.J. Simpson or Step-n-Fetchit would have won 2 to 1.
First, the lesson in Logic.
I know that you support increasing the minimum wage from $7.15 an hour to $9.00 an hour. I am trying to piece together a construct on how that will affect a single mom, usually a woman of color, with children in need of a good Ritalin program who are too far away from Midnight Basketball.
Train wreck, tsunami, disaster, all spring to mind.
Inner city youth – That’s one Hell of a euphemism, right? – are unemployed and, worse, unemployable at $7.15 an hour. Why would Apple and Google suddenly lust after them at $9.00 an hour?
Logic would dictate that if $9.00 an hour is good $19.00 an hour would be better. Why stop there? How about $36.50 an hour? Good, better, best.
History screams at us that the single most racist piece of Federal legislation signed into law in the 20th century was the minimum wage act. Look it up.
Now it’s time for Math
The Federal budget is three trillion six hundred billion dollars. Put in plain numbers that is $3,600,000,000,000. Evil sequestration, a Republican plan to put yet another lash on the backs of the undeserving poor, amounts to eighty eight billion dollars. That is $88,000,000,000 over 2 years. That is approaching a rounding error. [“Rounding error”? Send a SASE]
Your article says that 1,145,600 people will have to live on fish heads and rice until they get Food Stamps.
Perhaps you could tell me why President Obama campaigned for it and gleefully signed it into law? Perhaps you could tell me why he threatened to veto any Congressional attempt to change it? Perhaps not.
My Uncle Adam said “What is prudence in running the affairs of a household can scarce be folly in running the affairs of an empire”. Uncle Adam? SASE
Speaking of budgets you do know that 42% of every dollar we spend is borrowed, don’t you? Every day that Hillary Clinton was in the Senate she raled against borrowing money form the Chinese. The first foreign country she visited was China; She took Monica Lewinsky with her. Monica had certain “negotiating” skills that melted the heart of Ming, the Merciless Mandarin Moneylender.
I mention that because candidate Obama promised to cut the deficit in half by the end of his first term. I remember that. Do you?
You call for “targeted spending to proactively protect our cities”. Allah Damn it but that’s a mouthful. I won’t comment on the split infinitive. Some referees might flag me for piling on.
As people leave Detroit coyotes have returned. Like the Pilgrims of old they have quickly become self-sufficient. In addition to “cooling the earth and lowering the seas” we were told that the country would change dramatically and fundamentally. Who are we to say that suffrage is limited to bi-pods? Modern American Liberals in Broward County want manatees to vote. Why not coyotes in Wayne County?
The only cities more under control of a single unwavering political philosophy than Detroit in the Northern Hemisphere are Rome and Havana.
Forbes Magazine gave Detroit its equivalent of a Michelin 5 Star rating. It wasn’t the dirtiest. It wasn’t the most corrupt. It wasn’t the poorest. It wasn’t the most crime ridden.
IT WAS THE MOST MISERABLE
Your reflex solution, one that is genetically imprinted in the DNA of all practicing modern American Liberals is simple. In the typical mush-brained Boob McNutt way you and your Lodge sisters in the “Balloon Juice” factory you say, Spend more money!
Now I know why you wear those silly assed Dale Rogers cowgirl hats. Whatever common sense that was drilled into you as a child has been draining out of an unclosable occipital aperture. You line the hat with Duck Tape, Crazy Glue, and Velcro to keep it on to stop anything from falling out.
Accordingly, I hereby name you
HORSE’S ASS of the WEEK
[CONGRESSIONAL DIVISION – MAMMARY SECTION]
I know that God blesses and loves America. I also know that he has a great sense of humor. I am sure that when He looks at you he is sorely tempted to wash His hands and start over at where the Pioneer Space Probe is headed for.
The only positive thing you’ve done today is to save a manatee.
Kevin Smith
Congresswoman Frederica Wilson
10100 Pines Blvd – B Building
Pembroke Pines, FL 33025
RE: Say what? – Some comments on your op-ed article about those nasty Republicans and how they want to starve babies, kill seniors, and kill senior polar bears.
Congressperson Wilson,
I thought today would be a great day for making manatee sausage. The babies are yummy plus they are low fat and low sodium. And a big shout out to Michelle Obama for guiding us on the path to better living through tofu.
Then I read your article.
One of your on-line bios says that you have two degrees. One Bachelor’s degree and one Master’s degree. Reading your article I was certain that neither was in Logic or Math.
Several things leapt to mind.
#1 – Don’t you think you should begin calling your most recent degree a Mistress of Elementary Education? If chicks can grab a weapon and go face the elephant and maybe play catch up ball at Arlington Cemetery don’t you think society should reflect their unique contributions?
#2 – A Bachelor’s or a Master’s degree in education ranks somewhere between the widest building in Wichita and the world’s tallest midget. I was going to include “the smartest bear in the zoo” but I didn’t.
Further, you say that you were elected “overwhelmingly” by your constituents. Alas, the way your district was rigged the woman convicted of killing Rilya Wilson would have been elected. O.J. Simpson or Step-n-Fetchit would have won 2 to 1.
First, the lesson in Logic.
I know that you support increasing the minimum wage from $7.15 an hour to $9.00 an hour. I am trying to piece together a construct on how that will affect a single mom, usually a woman of color, with children in need of a good Ritalin program who are too far away from Midnight Basketball.
Train wreck, tsunami, disaster, all spring to mind.
Inner city youth – That’s one Hell of a euphemism, right? – are unemployed and, worse, unemployable at $7.15 an hour. Why would Apple and Google suddenly lust after them at $9.00 an hour?
Logic would dictate that if $9.00 an hour is good $19.00 an hour would be better. Why stop there? How about $36.50 an hour? Good, better, best.
History screams at us that the single most racist piece of Federal legislation signed into law in the 20th century was the minimum wage act. Look it up.
Now it’s time for Math
The Federal budget is three trillion six hundred billion dollars. Put in plain numbers that is $3,600,000,000,000. Evil sequestration, a Republican plan to put yet another lash on the backs of the undeserving poor, amounts to eighty eight billion dollars. That is $88,000,000,000 over 2 years. That is approaching a rounding error. [“Rounding error”? Send a SASE]
Your article says that 1,145,600 people will have to live on fish heads and rice until they get Food Stamps.
Perhaps you could tell me why President Obama campaigned for it and gleefully signed it into law? Perhaps you could tell me why he threatened to veto any Congressional attempt to change it? Perhaps not.
My Uncle Adam said “What is prudence in running the affairs of a household can scarce be folly in running the affairs of an empire”. Uncle Adam? SASE
Speaking of budgets you do know that 42% of every dollar we spend is borrowed, don’t you? Every day that Hillary Clinton was in the Senate she raled against borrowing money form the Chinese. The first foreign country she visited was China; She took Monica Lewinsky with her. Monica had certain “negotiating” skills that melted the heart of Ming, the Merciless Mandarin Moneylender.
I mention that because candidate Obama promised to cut the deficit in half by the end of his first term. I remember that. Do you?
You call for “targeted spending to proactively protect our cities”. Allah Damn it but that’s a mouthful. I won’t comment on the split infinitive. Some referees might flag me for piling on.
As people leave Detroit coyotes have returned. Like the Pilgrims of old they have quickly become self-sufficient. In addition to “cooling the earth and lowering the seas” we were told that the country would change dramatically and fundamentally. Who are we to say that suffrage is limited to bi-pods? Modern American Liberals in Broward County want manatees to vote. Why not coyotes in Wayne County?
The only cities more under control of a single unwavering political philosophy than Detroit in the Northern Hemisphere are Rome and Havana.
Forbes Magazine gave Detroit its equivalent of a Michelin 5 Star rating. It wasn’t the dirtiest. It wasn’t the most corrupt. It wasn’t the poorest. It wasn’t the most crime ridden.
IT WAS THE MOST MISERABLE
Your reflex solution, one that is genetically imprinted in the DNA of all practicing modern American Liberals is simple. In the typical mush-brained Boob McNutt way you and your Lodge sisters in the “Balloon Juice” factory you say, Spend more money!
Now I know why you wear those silly assed Dale Rogers cowgirl hats. Whatever common sense that was drilled into you as a child has been draining out of an unclosable occipital aperture. You line the hat with Duck Tape, Crazy Glue, and Velcro to keep it on to stop anything from falling out.
Accordingly, I hereby name you
HORSE’S ASS of the WEEK
[CONGRESSIONAL DIVISION – MAMMARY SECTION]
I know that God blesses and loves America. I also know that he has a great sense of humor. I am sure that when He looks at you he is sorely tempted to wash His hands and start over at where the Pioneer Space Probe is headed for.
The only positive thing you’ve done today is to save a manatee.
Kevin Smith
February 22, 2013
Michael Mayo
The Sun Sentinel
RE: Free Speech – How far out will that envelope go?
Mr. Mayo,
As long as the genie is out of the bottle I have been trying to get a big time media mogul to sponsor the following event. Some background is necessary.
Broward County is Ground Zero, the crucible where Progressives can blossom, the last bastion of true believers that Midnight Basketball is sound public policy, and a place where it is known that with one last big push the 49 year long War on Poverty can be won. The only divine presence in the Temple of Modern American Liberalism is Gaia, the Mother of us all. It is a place where lions and lambs lie down together. It is true that they have to get a new lamb every night but people blessed with good intentions and a unwavering belief that gravity is temporary are close to solving that problem also. There is a pilot program to make the Lion King a vegan. Results are mixed but some additional funding from the 1% will teach Simba the joys of arugula and tofu.
Who can doubt that manatee suffrage is only 2 or 3 election cycles away from fruition? And yes, interspecies dating will be encouraged.
The egregious gerrymandering that would elect O.J. Simpson or Jumbalaya Mumia, the Philly cop killer, to whichever office they ran for, is a testament to truth, justice, and the American way.
Dr. Mengele would probably win by shutout in the primary because of his strong views on women’s reproductive rights.
I won’t miss this year’s Julius and Ethel Rosenberg Memorial Walk for Justice.
Supposedly rational adults believe that if a Black teenager is unemployed and, worse, unemployable at $7.25 an hour he will have Apple and Google stalking him to hire him at $9.00 an hour. Honest. They really believe that.
With the possible exception of Barbra Streisand’s gazebo, the big one by the environmentally correct abalone rehab clinic, the one with the solar powered wind mill to shoo the furbish louseworts away without harming them, and Zabar’s on a cool, crisp Sunday morning, there is no more thoroughly modern American Liberal place North of Havana than Area Code 954.
That’s why I think it is time for this blow for freedom to be struck.
We know that burning an American flag is good.
We know that burning a bible is better.
Why not burn both of them at the same time?
I propose to wrap the bible in an American flag and burn it on the steps of the Federal Courthouse in Fort Lauderdale.
In case the fire gets out of control – We were just told that the evil Republican sequestration and how did they get Obama to sign that into law, weren’t we and that fire departments would be shut down, right? - I will have a large container of liquid available to quench it. Pig pee sounds about right.
One thing more.
Since Broward County is a recognized leader in the quest for mutli-cultural diversity – Remember Elections Supervisor Miriam Oliphant as the Poster Girl for Hire the Handicapped? I do - let’s include a copy of the sacred Koran. [Maybe you can tell me why everything those camel jockeys have is either sacred or holy?] Let’s burn them all. “God will know His own.”
If the Nazis can march in Skokie and those wing nut snake handlers can picket dead soldiers’ funerals why can’t I do the above?
Eagerly anticipating your public support, I remain
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Michael Mayo
The Sun Sentinel
RE: Free Speech – How far out will that envelope go?
Mr. Mayo,
As long as the genie is out of the bottle I have been trying to get a big time media mogul to sponsor the following event. Some background is necessary.
Broward County is Ground Zero, the crucible where Progressives can blossom, the last bastion of true believers that Midnight Basketball is sound public policy, and a place where it is known that with one last big push the 49 year long War on Poverty can be won. The only divine presence in the Temple of Modern American Liberalism is Gaia, the Mother of us all. It is a place where lions and lambs lie down together. It is true that they have to get a new lamb every night but people blessed with good intentions and a unwavering belief that gravity is temporary are close to solving that problem also. There is a pilot program to make the Lion King a vegan. Results are mixed but some additional funding from the 1% will teach Simba the joys of arugula and tofu.
Who can doubt that manatee suffrage is only 2 or 3 election cycles away from fruition? And yes, interspecies dating will be encouraged.
The egregious gerrymandering that would elect O.J. Simpson or Jumbalaya Mumia, the Philly cop killer, to whichever office they ran for, is a testament to truth, justice, and the American way.
Dr. Mengele would probably win by shutout in the primary because of his strong views on women’s reproductive rights.
I won’t miss this year’s Julius and Ethel Rosenberg Memorial Walk for Justice.
Supposedly rational adults believe that if a Black teenager is unemployed and, worse, unemployable at $7.25 an hour he will have Apple and Google stalking him to hire him at $9.00 an hour. Honest. They really believe that.
With the possible exception of Barbra Streisand’s gazebo, the big one by the environmentally correct abalone rehab clinic, the one with the solar powered wind mill to shoo the furbish louseworts away without harming them, and Zabar’s on a cool, crisp Sunday morning, there is no more thoroughly modern American Liberal place North of Havana than Area Code 954.
That’s why I think it is time for this blow for freedom to be struck.
We know that burning an American flag is good.
We know that burning a bible is better.
Why not burn both of them at the same time?
I propose to wrap the bible in an American flag and burn it on the steps of the Federal Courthouse in Fort Lauderdale.
In case the fire gets out of control – We were just told that the evil Republican sequestration and how did they get Obama to sign that into law, weren’t we and that fire departments would be shut down, right? - I will have a large container of liquid available to quench it. Pig pee sounds about right.
One thing more.
Since Broward County is a recognized leader in the quest for mutli-cultural diversity – Remember Elections Supervisor Miriam Oliphant as the Poster Girl for Hire the Handicapped? I do - let’s include a copy of the sacred Koran. [Maybe you can tell me why everything those camel jockeys have is either sacred or holy?] Let’s burn them all. “God will know His own.”
If the Nazis can march in Skokie and those wing nut snake handlers can picket dead soldiers’ funerals why can’t I do the above?
Eagerly anticipating your public support, I remain
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Friday, February 22, 2013
February 21, 2013
Michael Mayo
The Sun Sentinel
RE: “Free Speech For Me But Not For Thee” – Some comments on your column about whether or not Colonel West should be allowed to speak in a public arena, particularly one funded by taxpayers.
Mr. Mayo,
You may recognize the above as the title of a book on free speech by Nat Hentoff.
In 2000, when I lived in Lauderdale by the Sea, the town council debated a speech bill. They wanted to pass an ordinance banning all “crude and offensive speech” at public meetings.
In a back and forth with “them” I asked what would happen if I were to tell the female clerk to “get thee to a nunnery”? When Hamlet told Ophelia to do so “nunneries” were short hand for French Knocking Shoppes”, AKA whore houses.
My intent was to show that language is a living organism. I was even going to tell them what Yeats meant when he spoke of “dying”. I never did get to Molly’s “Yes” soliloquy. That would have gotten us to Ezra Pound who edited both of them and that would have been an invitation to the notorious chilling effect.
Hentoff told me to get arrested and that he would write a column about me in the Village Voice.
“That’s easy for you to say” was my response.
Your Voltaire-like defense of Colonel West puts you on the slippery slope to having your membership in the modern American Liberal ink-stained wretch cabal revoked. Those poltroons don’t like anyone, particularly those thought to be “theirs”, wandering off the reservation. You may have to spend some time “getting your head straight”.
On September 18, 200i, Agent Thomas and Agent Mineva of the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, men with badges and guns as my wife was quick to point out, came to my home because of something I wrote to the paradigmatic template of modern American: Liberalism, then Florida State Senator Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
It was the classic good cop-bad cop routine as any former Bayonne resident could tell you. Agent Mineva, the bad cop, told me – A – to stop writing to Little Debbie and –B – stop writing to all public officials.
My response, “Free men speak with free tongues”, was good advice when it was given by one of those pesky, still dead, White European males 2&1/2 millennia ago. It fell on deaf ears.
3 years later, when Broward Deputy Sheriff Joe Kessling came to my house about something I wrote to Miriam Oliphant [Allah almighty but that woman was world class dumb, wasn’t she?] the first thing he said to me was “You’re not in trouble”.
“What do you mean I’m not in trouble? You have a badge and a fucking gun. What do you mean I’m not in trouble?”
Do you see a pattern developing here?
If Christians are offended because a tax-payer supported play, “Corpus Cristi”, a play that says that Christ was crucified because of a lovers’ quarrel with Judas Iscariot, we are told that artistic freedom trumps your feelings.
Saturday Night Live is being criticized because for a satiric skit about the crucifixion of Christ. The criticism is marginalized because “they”, Neanderthal bitter clingers all, have no sense of the aesthete, no sense of artistic expression.
Can you imagine the uproar if Mohammed were to be portrayed as a goat humping pedophile?
I can’t either because it would never happen. Never ever. Never.
Free speech is like pregnancy. Either it is or it isn’t; either she is or she isn’t.
Have you heard the one about 2 85 year old men, one Black and the other Jewish, fighting in the street? Myron Cohen tells it better. It seems that the Black guy asks the Jew….
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Michael Mayo
The Sun Sentinel
RE: “Free Speech For Me But Not For Thee” – Some comments on your column about whether or not Colonel West should be allowed to speak in a public arena, particularly one funded by taxpayers.
Mr. Mayo,
You may recognize the above as the title of a book on free speech by Nat Hentoff.
In 2000, when I lived in Lauderdale by the Sea, the town council debated a speech bill. They wanted to pass an ordinance banning all “crude and offensive speech” at public meetings.
In a back and forth with “them” I asked what would happen if I were to tell the female clerk to “get thee to a nunnery”? When Hamlet told Ophelia to do so “nunneries” were short hand for French Knocking Shoppes”, AKA whore houses.
My intent was to show that language is a living organism. I was even going to tell them what Yeats meant when he spoke of “dying”. I never did get to Molly’s “Yes” soliloquy. That would have gotten us to Ezra Pound who edited both of them and that would have been an invitation to the notorious chilling effect.
Hentoff told me to get arrested and that he would write a column about me in the Village Voice.
“That’s easy for you to say” was my response.
Your Voltaire-like defense of Colonel West puts you on the slippery slope to having your membership in the modern American Liberal ink-stained wretch cabal revoked. Those poltroons don’t like anyone, particularly those thought to be “theirs”, wandering off the reservation. You may have to spend some time “getting your head straight”.
On September 18, 200i, Agent Thomas and Agent Mineva of the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, men with badges and guns as my wife was quick to point out, came to my home because of something I wrote to the paradigmatic template of modern American: Liberalism, then Florida State Senator Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
It was the classic good cop-bad cop routine as any former Bayonne resident could tell you. Agent Mineva, the bad cop, told me – A – to stop writing to Little Debbie and –B – stop writing to all public officials.
My response, “Free men speak with free tongues”, was good advice when it was given by one of those pesky, still dead, White European males 2&1/2 millennia ago. It fell on deaf ears.
3 years later, when Broward Deputy Sheriff Joe Kessling came to my house about something I wrote to Miriam Oliphant [Allah almighty but that woman was world class dumb, wasn’t she?] the first thing he said to me was “You’re not in trouble”.
“What do you mean I’m not in trouble? You have a badge and a fucking gun. What do you mean I’m not in trouble?”
Do you see a pattern developing here?
If Christians are offended because a tax-payer supported play, “Corpus Cristi”, a play that says that Christ was crucified because of a lovers’ quarrel with Judas Iscariot, we are told that artistic freedom trumps your feelings.
Saturday Night Live is being criticized because for a satiric skit about the crucifixion of Christ. The criticism is marginalized because “they”, Neanderthal bitter clingers all, have no sense of the aesthete, no sense of artistic expression.
Can you imagine the uproar if Mohammed were to be portrayed as a goat humping pedophile?
I can’t either because it would never happen. Never ever. Never.
Free speech is like pregnancy. Either it is or it isn’t; either she is or she isn’t.
Have you heard the one about 2 85 year old men, one Black and the other Jewish, fighting in the street? Myron Cohen tells it better. It seems that the Black guy asks the Jew….
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Saturday, February 16, 2013
February 14, 2013
Letter to the Editor
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 333132-1693
RE: The world is turned upside down – Some comments on the first section of today’s paper.
Sirs,
A faceless internet [Again, thanks to Vice President Alpha Gump] allows people to praise a killer in California.
Waiting in line to vote is now considered malum per se and prima facie proof of racism.
A gazillionaire wants the undeserving poor of Miami/Dade County to pay for his new workplace.
The shocking, shocking news that another Democratic Congressman from Hudson County, NJ would steal a hot stove after taking the pennies off a dead man’s eyes.
Indians, the ones with the red dot, not the ones with tomahawks and casinos, are aborting baby girls.
But then I got to your editorial page.
Judge Scott Silverman tells us that Franklin Roosevelt “led our country out of the great Depression…” Thank God we’re in Florida and Thank God this sad ssack sorry ass is of the bench. It takes huevos grandes for him to say say that because of one reason. It ain’t true. By any economic indicator, including some that weren’t even invented yet, the country was in worse shape 6 years after he was inaugurated. Look it up, Your Honor. Get back to me.
Next up is Senator Bill Bradley, AKA “Mumbles”. He speaks about Social Security. Should Cecil Rhodes suddenly reappear he would want his money back. I cite the following as the first count of the indictment.
“The next commissioner, unlike some predecessors, should
bring to the job a detailed historical knowledge of Social Security –
of decisions that have made the system stronger and of others
that have weakened it.”
The Miami Herald
Today
Page 19A
Bradley OP-ED
Which predecessor[s] weakened it? How was it weakened?
History tells us that it was destined to be weakened for 3 reasons.
#1 – When it first started the country had 30 people paying in for each person receiving a check. Then it was 20. Then 10. Now it is 3 to 1. Do the math.
#2 - My mother received checks, including her annual “raise’, until she was one month shy of her 95th birthday. Her sister went 4 years longer. Is it too late to shout that people are living longer?
#3 – In 1964, with the approval of both parties, the deductions from both employees and employers went directly into the general accounts of the United States of America. Once a year, the “trustees” of the Social Security system meet with the Treasury Department. [I hope it is under a bridge at night] I hope somebody brings some good liquor to this meeting. The Department of Treasury says this is how much money we took from you. They then issue an IOU, a chit, a marker. The saps who paid in have now become Wimpy’s greatest enabler. Wimpy was Popeye’s friend who would say without a hint of irony, “I will gladly pay you on Thursday for a hamburger I eat on Monday”.
It is well to note that if a private company, say McClatchy, were to do that, grim men with green eyeshades, badges, and guns would appear at your offices and begin to handcuff people and drag them out.
Would it not be incumbent on Senator Bradley to tell us who “weakened” the system and how did “they” do it?
Talk about trying to find invisible Easter eggs! Assuming I stumbled upon my own “lock box” There would be nothing in it. It would take a century of perpetual “Summers of Recovery”, coupled with Death Panels at least equal to those established by the previous century’s 3 most prominent community activists: Stalin, Hitler, and Mao, to approach solvency.
I enclose a copy of a letter I received from Senator Mumbles. If you can tell me what the second paragraph means it will end a quest lasting, like Ulysses’, 20 years.
Then I got to Kathleen Parker’s screed.
50 years ago, Betty Freidan, apparently the inspiration for Peggy Lee’s song “Is That All There Is”, acidly etched her “angst” at not being able to have it all. [The lesson that modern American Liberals of all stripes never learn is that it is called the horizon because, try, try, try the lesson of the Little Engine doesn’t cut it. The horizon can’t be reached. The Yellow Brick Road never gets to Oz. Thank God for Prozac.]
On Page 17A, the page just before the editorial pages, there is a story about “female feticide”. Talk about a place that needs an ERA! If you want to go to full term in the Punjab it is best to have a wang like a policeman’s billy. If I were in the baby clothes business I would never have to order pink. I’d rather be Ken than Barbie in utero.
One of my favorite authors said
“Focus on the absurd lest reality drive you mad.”
Sometimes the lines blur.
Anyway, thanks for starting my day.
Kevin Smith
Letter to the Editor
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 333132-1693
RE: The world is turned upside down – Some comments on the first section of today’s paper.
Sirs,
A faceless internet [Again, thanks to Vice President Alpha Gump] allows people to praise a killer in California.
Waiting in line to vote is now considered malum per se and prima facie proof of racism.
A gazillionaire wants the undeserving poor of Miami/Dade County to pay for his new workplace.
The shocking, shocking news that another Democratic Congressman from Hudson County, NJ would steal a hot stove after taking the pennies off a dead man’s eyes.
Indians, the ones with the red dot, not the ones with tomahawks and casinos, are aborting baby girls.
But then I got to your editorial page.
Judge Scott Silverman tells us that Franklin Roosevelt “led our country out of the great Depression…” Thank God we’re in Florida and Thank God this sad ssack sorry ass is of the bench. It takes huevos grandes for him to say say that because of one reason. It ain’t true. By any economic indicator, including some that weren’t even invented yet, the country was in worse shape 6 years after he was inaugurated. Look it up, Your Honor. Get back to me.
Next up is Senator Bill Bradley, AKA “Mumbles”. He speaks about Social Security. Should Cecil Rhodes suddenly reappear he would want his money back. I cite the following as the first count of the indictment.
“The next commissioner, unlike some predecessors, should
bring to the job a detailed historical knowledge of Social Security –
of decisions that have made the system stronger and of others
that have weakened it.”
The Miami Herald
Today
Page 19A
Bradley OP-ED
Which predecessor[s] weakened it? How was it weakened?
History tells us that it was destined to be weakened for 3 reasons.
#1 – When it first started the country had 30 people paying in for each person receiving a check. Then it was 20. Then 10. Now it is 3 to 1. Do the math.
#2 - My mother received checks, including her annual “raise’, until she was one month shy of her 95th birthday. Her sister went 4 years longer. Is it too late to shout that people are living longer?
#3 – In 1964, with the approval of both parties, the deductions from both employees and employers went directly into the general accounts of the United States of America. Once a year, the “trustees” of the Social Security system meet with the Treasury Department. [I hope it is under a bridge at night] I hope somebody brings some good liquor to this meeting. The Department of Treasury says this is how much money we took from you. They then issue an IOU, a chit, a marker. The saps who paid in have now become Wimpy’s greatest enabler. Wimpy was Popeye’s friend who would say without a hint of irony, “I will gladly pay you on Thursday for a hamburger I eat on Monday”.
It is well to note that if a private company, say McClatchy, were to do that, grim men with green eyeshades, badges, and guns would appear at your offices and begin to handcuff people and drag them out.
Would it not be incumbent on Senator Bradley to tell us who “weakened” the system and how did “they” do it?
Talk about trying to find invisible Easter eggs! Assuming I stumbled upon my own “lock box” There would be nothing in it. It would take a century of perpetual “Summers of Recovery”, coupled with Death Panels at least equal to those established by the previous century’s 3 most prominent community activists: Stalin, Hitler, and Mao, to approach solvency.
I enclose a copy of a letter I received from Senator Mumbles. If you can tell me what the second paragraph means it will end a quest lasting, like Ulysses’, 20 years.
Then I got to Kathleen Parker’s screed.
50 years ago, Betty Freidan, apparently the inspiration for Peggy Lee’s song “Is That All There Is”, acidly etched her “angst” at not being able to have it all. [The lesson that modern American Liberals of all stripes never learn is that it is called the horizon because, try, try, try the lesson of the Little Engine doesn’t cut it. The horizon can’t be reached. The Yellow Brick Road never gets to Oz. Thank God for Prozac.]
On Page 17A, the page just before the editorial pages, there is a story about “female feticide”. Talk about a place that needs an ERA! If you want to go to full term in the Punjab it is best to have a wang like a policeman’s billy. If I were in the baby clothes business I would never have to order pink. I’d rather be Ken than Barbie in utero.
One of my favorite authors said
“Focus on the absurd lest reality drive you mad.”
Sometimes the lines blur.
Anyway, thanks for starting my day.
Kevin Smith
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