The Sun Sentinel
RE: Amen, brother! After all these years, finally, something we agree on.
At long last I know that my Redeemer liveth! We can draw water from the same water from the same well. Maybe it is time to break Florida up. Your column this AM mentions several good reasons for so doing.
Your missing Hillary Clinton is touching.
I must confess that I miss her too. I wanted Craig Livingstone back as the gatekeeper. He’s the dude that Congressman Tom Lontos told to commit suicide, remember? Sidney Blumenthal, the man that Christopher Hitchens wanted to pummel, would have been a welcome addition. Has anybody heard from Lani Guinier or Ira Magaziner lately? Her brother Slobbo would be a roving free agent in charge of, inter alia, fixing parking tickets, pardons, and stealing hot stoves and the pennies off dead men’s eyes. If Hillary came back there would be a surge of “New York lawyers”, like Bernie Nussbaum. Let me give you a big wink here but we all know what a “New York lawyer” is, don’t we? In my other life I employed quite a few of them. Also, let the record show that if Pat Buchanan used that term the POO – Perpetually Outraged and Offended – would have burned his house down, preferably with him in it, chained to the wall. Who could resist the image of Denise Rich fellating Bill Clinton’s saxophone? Not me. I’m a sucker for love. Nothing personal; strictly business
Do you think HIllary would have put a turnstile on the White House with the proceeds going to the Clinton Foundation or would she have cut out the middle man and just PayPaled the loot into her personal account?
Chelsea, and God wiling she runs for something, anything, just got a life time achievement award from some chick group. Just think how much better it would have been if she got it in the Rose Garden. Bill’s brother Roger, his singing career having failed to gain traction, would be in charge of parking cars. Her Fagin-like father-in-law would have picked pockets.
Back to new states.
Cool Florida and Dreadful Florida are obvious. How about Southern North Carolina and Northern South Carolina? New Mexico and Viejo Mexico sounds good to me. Middle Dakota is OK, no? Maryland and Marvinland with the latter getting the crabs. Wait a second. How many is that? 56 by crikey. Close enough to get Yosama Bahama Salama off the hook for his head up his ass knowledge of geography. It was almost as bad as misspelling potato, or was it potatoe? Let’s draw a line in the sand and let the Marine Corpse guard it. Just the thought of Handsome Billy Clinton from Hot Springs, the King of the One-Eyed Trouser Snakes, fills me with tumescent anticipation. It is downright priapristic for aging males.
Here’s a question from a perplexed reader. Do you remember the Duke lacrosse rape case? How about the UVA fraternity rape case? They had 2 things in common. The media covered them like the world was going to end next Thursday at noon with women and minorities suffering, as usual, disproportionately. The other thing is that neither happened. They were blood libels that were stinking meaner than cat shit lies. Do you know why the rape in Maryland by 2 illegal aliens – Shove the undocumented dreamers’ label as far up your ass as you can – is going down the modern American Liberal media hole? Stop the presses. “modern American Liberal media”? I think I just answered my question. Maybe Socrates was on to something.
Have you ever seen the sign that says “Welcome to Arkansas, Mississippi is worse”? A mitigating factor that the defense could use is to proclaim that as bad as they seem to be they ain’t Muslim terrorists
Just one more thing a la Columbo.
Almost 20 years ago, Matthew Shephard goes to a saloon catering to non-urban finochios looking to hook for “a bit of the gobble” up to and including “rough trade”. Only Jesse Dirkhising suffered more with the difference being that he was kidnapped by feral homosexual predators while Matthew went willingly to the Dark Side.
A nut case with a semi-automatic weapon shouts Allah Akbar while he shoots and kills 50 people in a cabaret catering to homosexuals.
We celebrate Tennessee Williams leading the charge against homophobic cops in Key West. We celebrate the Stone Wall riots. We honor Harvey Milk while forgetting the equally murdered George Moscone. If we can get just one more miracle Papa Francisco will canonize him. Wait ‘til you see the stamp he gets!
Does a Muslim shooter spoil the mAL paradigmatic template that says that hate crime can only be committed by hateful deplorables?
Get back to me por favor. And light a fire under Little Stein. If Wordsworth is no longer verboten I won’t send copies of “Daffodils” to Middlebury College.