January 22, 2020 Rosemary O’Hara – Editorial Page Editor The Sun Sentinel Rosie!

January 22, 2020

Rosemary O’Hara – Editorial Page Editor

The Sun Sentinel

Rosie!

How cold was it this morning?

Back in my other life, when I was in the gold mining business in Timmins, Ontario, a place known for polar bears and Robert Service-type men, I learned to appreciate the term “colder than a witch’s tit.”

It wasn’t that cold.

I am still comfortable with my decision to offload my extensive cashmere collection.

But it sure brings out the best in you, yours, and the Sun Sentinel as it disappears, glacier-like, before our eyes.

Not since Maverick told Goose, tumescently, in “Top Gun”, “This is a target-rich environment.”

Let’s start with Page 1.

“Weather to thaw out as temperatures rise.” What were the runners-up in that contest?

“Light to come after sunrise?”

“John Garfield Still Dead?”

“Liz Wants Dick?”

“Headless Body in Topless Bar?”

“Storm in the Channel, Continent Isolated?”

My favorite is still

“Meteor Strikes Earth, Women & Minorities Suffer Disproportionately.”

Page 4A tells us that  

“Mexico Returns hundred” of migrants to Honduras”

Would not Logic dictate that Mexico, where I was a lay missionary doing construction work, teaching,  and coaching 57 years ago, following Trump’s lead, is now a xenophobic, racist, meaner than cat shit country just like ours?

Page 7A tells us that “Van Gogh self-portrait is genuine, experts say” Hire the handicapped was good advice then and good advice now.

Page 10A shows us a picture of a nutless iguana, laying nits back in either hypothermia or hydrothermia, doubtless caused by Trump when he pulled out of the Paris Climate Accord. You missed a chance to pole-ax him, in typical preordained modern American Liberal style since you blame him for everything else, right?

January 23, 2020 – Predawn – McDonald’s – 17^th Causeway

Unexpected consequences

I went inside for the first time in a year. 4 fully automated kiosks for ordering, 4 fewer counter employees for taking orders. And black unemployment is down.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Page 18, your Opinion section, issues the prototypical modern American Liberal Jeremiad about GlobalCoolingGlobalWarmingClimateChangeClikmateDestruction. It does not address a burning question, - burning? - one that Climate Luddites tip-toe around. Did Global Warming end the last Ice Age and, all things being equal, was that good or bad?

I am glad you used the new non-Rasputin photo of Paul Krugman. Yes, I know he won a Nobel Prize but so did Yasser Arafat and a Portuguese MD named Moniz who perfected the lobotomy. I did take his advice about the effects of Trump winning in 2016. He said the market would go into a permanent shit hole from which it would never emerge and that the economy would, hopefully, only go back to a pre-Hunter/Gatherer stage. Naturally, I sold all my investments and liquidated my designated benefit retirement plans. 

Thanks, Paulie.

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I just watched Maria Bartiromo let Ray Dalio, another filthy lucre seeking son of Mammon, off the hook on the question of more than a million Muslim Uighurs stashed away in Chinese Gulags. I am willing to bet hates Chick-fil-a and crappers in his HQ for at least 6 genders.

Back to Krugman.

Thanks to him, my Super Bowl party will feature fish heads and rice, 2 Buck Chuck, and at least 2 kinds of Spam. Go Chiefs!

Your letters to the editor features “Dixie” and why it should or shouldn’t be banned as a hate crime.  Don’t forget that the Taliban banned balloons and whistling the last time they ran Kafiristan. Also, they blew up 2500-year-old Buddha statues.

How about the Russell Senate Office Building?

How the USS Vinson? 

How about the USS Stennis? 

How about Plantation High School? 

How about Plantation, Florida?

How about forbidding any county or municipal vehicle, specifically emergency vehicles, from using or crossing Dixie Highway?

How about burning all of Stephen Foster’s music?

I have a copy of “Little Black Sambo” and “Song of the South”. Am I in really deep doo-doo?

Page 19A plumbs but doesn’t reach the nadir of Randy Schultz’s vincible ignorance. 

In the oh so typical modern American Liberal tradition of confusingly conflating causation and correlation he insults the Trivium by blaming President Handsome Billy from Hot Springs for causing Columbine.

Fucking moron.

Kevin Psmith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

PS – I was just told that the ominous Phalanx of carcinogenic IEDs has not begun its forced march to my brain.