Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Mayor Richard Kaplan

May 30, 2012

Mayor Richard Kaplan
5581 West Oakland Park Boulevard
Lauderhill, FL 33313

RE: It’s not easy being green. It’s easy being stupid.

Mr. Mayor,


“Anticipating a green future, Mayor Richard Kaplan wants to make
sure new homes built in the city can accommodate electric car chargers and
solar roof panels without their owners having to pay for costly retrofits.”
The Sun Sentinel
May 29, 2012

At last, at last, Milton Friedman notwithstanding, there is such a thing as a free lunch.

Just when I think the bottom has been reached, just when I think “it” can’t get much worse, just when I think that the number of horses’ asses is coming back into balance with the number of horses’ heads [Shouldn’t those numbers always be equal?}
a modern American Liberal in a public position steps up and says something so stupendously, egregiously stupid that Guinness must create a new category of public boobery.

#1 – “One million [1,000,000] electric cars by 2015” – Mayor Kaplan

Some people shouldn’t drink gin in the morning. You, for instance. In fact, Listerine has too much alcohol for you. Here’s some more really useful information for you. Sharp instruments? Heavy machinery? Avoid them like a pulled pork sandwich on Shabbos.

The only chance of getting to one million [1,000,000] electric cars by 2015 will come from the Bankruptcy Court giving the tax loss carry forward of Solyndra to a to be formed consortium of Match Box Cars and Tonka Trucks so they can finance 28 hour a day, 8 days a week construction of those cute little puppies.

#2 – The fastest way to Go Green and Get Green in Lauderhill is to turn off the air conditioning at City Hall. Start with your office. Then go the office dispensing permits.
Next stop, the tax collection office

. Any place that has a Florida Power and Light meter recording the wasteful burning of fossil fuels, the 7 League Boot Carbon Footprint destruction of the ozone layer and the sacred Rain Forest, the explosion of soon-to-be-clubbed to death baby seals since the polar bears drowning because of Global Warming guarantees that there is nothing left to eat them, inter alia – Did I mention teenage obesity, bullying, and the heartbreak of psoriasis? - is to have its plug pulled post haste, cold turkey, and double quick.

Open the windows. Hydrate. Hydrate.

Here’s a bonus.

It will save the manatees and lead to a “fairer” tax system.

All you have to do you ohmadahn, you Brobdanaglian boob, is to hit the off switch.

Fame, glory, and automatic induction into the modern American Liberal Hall of Fame is within your grasp.

Kevin Smith

PS – If a Florida Power & Light meter buying electricity from consumers sends a near orgasmic tingle up your leg why not harness teenage overweight bullies to a treadmill hooked up to the city’s main meter? You won’t need a photo ID to identify them. In addition to being so big that if they step on their cat’s tail it dies they are always on the lookout for kids younger than they are to give them Noogies. The Law of Unintended Consequences says that only good things can happen. Fat kids get skinny; bullied kids don’t get bullied; FP&L owes you money. “The voice of the turtle will be heard in the land.”

Monday, May 28, 2012

Steven L. Goldstein The Sun-Sentinel

May 28, 2012
Steven L. Goldstein
The Sun-Sentinel

My dear Professor,

If, as you write, “Apathy is the enemy of the electorate” how would you describe the people of North Carolina voting against same sex marriage by a 61 to 39 margin?

If memory serves, same sex marriage has been on ballots in 32 states. [I add as an aside that referendums, along with its much beloved twin initiatives, were the darlings of modern American Liberals for a long time.] Not one state – California included – has voted for it.

Is that apathy?

If you could outlaw outlaw out-of-state contributions from groups like the NRA would the same restrictions apply to NARAL or Emily’s List? When the President charges $40,000 for a one legged chicken dinner do you think all that money stays in one state?

In a typical display of modern American Logic it is OK to ban something, anything as long as the right things are the only things banned. It might be ignorance or it might be apathy that makes modern American Liberals begin every political conversation with a rock in one hand and a cudgel in the other.

I quote Frank Layden, a great American, who said ”I don’t know and I don’t care”.


Kevin Smith
warriorbardit@bellsouth.net



PS – You must be reading the Debbie Wasserman-Schultz play book. She compares apples to oranges to coconuts. I never thought she was dumb. Maybe she’s spending too much time with Curley Biden. You say that “apathy is the mother of extremism [and] extremism is the father of disempowerment”. Wazupwidat? You rale against “partisan gerrymandering”. How about “non-partisan gerrymandering”? How else would felon Alcee Hastings have gotten to Congress save for having a district created that would have sent Nat Turner, Step-n-Fetchit, H. Rap Brown, or O.J. Simpson to the House?

Ain’t this a great country?

Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz Democratic National Committee

May 28, 2012



Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
Democratic National Committee
430 S. Capitol Street, SE
Washington, DC 20003

RE: Redskins & Injuns, feather merchants, and why after the first lie there are no others.

Dearest Darling Little Debbie, Debbie,

In my bid to reach across the aisle, to show a sense of compromise that, Thank God, is still lacking in Congress, to show you that I really, really care I was going to gently, oh so gently, admonish you for some of your more recent gaffes.

Your attempts to make Joe “Curley” Biden sound like he knows what he is talking about are admirable. After all, that boob is but a heartbeat away from the ultimate RESET button. Do you remember when Julianne Malveaux prayed that Justice Clarence Thomas’s wife feed him heavy cream, fried foods, and give him lard in an IV in the hopes that the racist sickness of hypertension might kill him? Maybe the Koch Brothers have taken over the White House mess. In this instance “mess” means kitchen, not the general state of things. Maybe they have hookers servicing the Secret Service while one of their thugs pours gravy – taking a cue from Hamlet - in the Dumbolike ears of B.O.

Since I do these things with a velvet glove, a wry sense of humor, a spot on knowledge of Political Science, History, and Literature – things of which you have zero familiarity, let alone knowledge – and a Flashman-like sangfroid of the dangers of getting on your bad side – Remember, you sicced the coppers on me – I know you look forward to my little notes.

Your comments on apples, oranges, and that reliable old chestnut, coconuts, are beyond the universe of sniggering. You make Professor Irwin Corey sound like Sir John Gielgud reading from the Book of Common Prayer.

Your premise on Venture Capital, the one that says it is evil while simultaneously saying taking campaign contributions from card carrying Venture Capitalists is good, shows that modern American Liberal shills need constant chiropractic care. As soon as flip-flopping becomes an Olympic sport the first team will be assembled from Democratic gun slingers. Gray’s Anatomy will have to be rewritten when X-ray evidence of a lumbar/thoracic convulsion akin to a Slinky going up a down escalator is revealed. The ability to remove your own tonsils from the inside, while it may well be an admirable trait, is not a prerequisite for public punditry.

The latest lightning bolt from Ground Zero on the economy, like taking dating etiquette lessons from Mary Magdalene, says that Venture Capital produces wealth without jobs. The country knows how to produce jobs without wealth. It’s called the United States Post Office. With the exception of George Soros it is a truism that creating wealth also creates jobs. I suggest the example of FedEx as one that did both. Anyone who says the opposite deserves to have his/her face on a piñata.

Wait a minute!

Somebody’s face is on a piñata.

The Republican Governor of South Carolina, a woman of color, had her face attached to a piñata at a Democratic Party picnic. As the state Chairlady hit her SEIU thugs yelled “Raghead”, “Dothead”, and “WOG”. I kept waiting for “Macaca”, the ultimate insult, but I did not hear it. Would those words make it a hate crime?

When Congresswoman Gabriela Giffords was shot you concluded a la Sherlock Holmes that the reason for this crime was Right-Wing radio in general, Rush Limbaugh in particular, and the aura of hate fueled by the Tea Party. Your silence about the racistl assault on Governor Haley must be judged by the Latin adage “qui tacet consentire”. Silence gives consent.

Logic must dictate that you are content as long as the basher is a Democrat and the bashee is a Republican. It really is easy to be modern American Liberal. As soon as you make plaid your favorite color the rest is easy.

These things I will not do today.

I am declaring a unilateral truce – no conditions, none whatsoever – because obviously no one has told you that your guy, President Barack Hussein Obama, Lord Barack the Beneficent to his close friends, wants children, particularly children of color whose Moms are single parenst, to drown.

When you were a Florida legislator you, in the parlance on modern American Liberals, “led the fight” against toddlers drowning. I think it was the leading cause of death for children in Broward County under the age of 5. Since it is obvious that women and minorities suffer disproportionately from every villain caused epidemic of social ills the number of African-American children who drowned here was staggering.

You sponsored legislation requiring bottom drain covers, lines separating the shallow from the deep, fences, and yet more rescue devices.

It was obvious that your Italianate hand was guiding this administration’s legislative and regulatory attempts to ban both bullying and drowning.

The President, by suspending enforcement of the rules governing pools, just made a calculated political decision that the country could afford a few more minority drownings as long as he got the votes of the people who own pools. A case could be made for the Koch Brothers having gotten to him. That’s the Chicago Way, isn’t it?

I am positive that if you knew this you would blow the top off the Capitol dome.

How could you do otherwise?

T.E. Lawrence once said “Not much can be gotten from a sure victory but there is much to be gained from a sure defeat”.

I am typing this about 12 yards from my pool.

Bring your reporters and their cameras.

Challenge the President to reverse his racially cruel ruling.

Debbie, Debbie in the next edition of “Profiles in Courage” has a nice ring to it.

After all, it’s for the children.


Kevin Smith


PS – I feel sooooo good! I went a whole note without once mentioning Elizabeth Warren AKA Princess Lying Sack of Bison Dung. I have it on unimpeachable authority that Manitou is very pissed off at her. Also, Mammon and Lucre, the Gods of Venture Capital want to know whose fingerprints are on Solyndra as it is officially FUBAR. [FUBAR? Send a SASE]

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Assemblyman John McKeon, Esq.

May 27, 2012
Assemblyman John McKeon, Esq.
250 Main Street
Madison, NJ 07940

RE: Déjà vu, déjà vu, damn that déjà vu

Assemblyman McKeon,

Flash back 20 years ago.

“Knock, knock”

“Who’s there”?

“Me” – In this case “me” is “you”

You were running for something in West Orange and your handlers told you to knock on some doors. You knocked on mine.

As was my wont, and much to my wife’s chagrin, I invited you in. Anyone who knocked on my door, aluminum siding salesmen, Jehovah’s Witnesses, beggars from PIRG, knife sharpening peripatetic Gypsies, - no exceptions – they were all invited in. Even politicians

One part of our conversation has stayed with me for 20 years.

You said that the key to a strong real estate market, both commercial and residential, was a “good” rent control law.

Jeepers, I thought, maybe he hit his head this morning. Maybe he took his wife’s pills. Maybe he thought he was talking to a nit-wit. Worse, maybe he thought he was talking to a fellow nit-wit.

I asked if any subjective criteria, things like equity, CPI, occupancy, taxes, capital improvement, interest rates, would apply.

“Absolutely”, you said.

Please accept the gently chastening admonishment in the Christian spirit in which it is offered.

“HUH”?

A law, any law, being interpreted subjectively?

You may wish to familiarize yourself with The Law of the Constitution by A.V. Dicey. Doubtless, you will be the first in your legislative caucus and probably in your law firm, to become familiar with it. He has some comments on the Rule of Law that still ring true

After you left my wife asked who you were. I paraphrased Samuel Johnson. “The man’s a boob and that’s an end to it.”

Fast forward 20 years.

I open NJ.com every morning to check on the Irish sports pages AKA the obituaries. Recognizing no names I move on to Paul Mulshine.

It would seem that you have gotten dumber over the years.

If your bio info is correct you were 12 years old when the weather crisis du jour
was Global Cooling. A multi-degreed wing nut named Paul Ehrlich predicted, and on national TV to boot, that we would either freeze to death or starve to death by 2000. Your photo says “I am well fed”. It is 88 degrees in Florida.

Que paso?

Perhaps it is time to come to Jesus. Beginning in the late ‘70s I would end my morning ablutions by opening the bath room window and squeezing off a few rounds from my Right Guard deodorant can. It was the least I could do to call attention to the hole in the Ozone layer. It was my way of Acting Locally while Thinking Globally.

I am sure you can remember when it was “settled science” that tomatoes were poisonous, when Ptolemy was top dog in the astronomy world, and when supposedly rational adults thought that rent control worked. I just looked it up. Wisconsin won the 2000 Rose Bowl, the one that supposed to played on ice skates by staving student athletes.

May I suggest that you set an example for your constituents? If ozone depletion, drowning polar bears, carbon foot prints, and the continued misuse of fossil fuels really bother you turn off your air conditioner. All of your air conditioners. Office, home, and cars even if theyt run on manatee eructations.

Talk is cheap. Walk the walk.

It’s probably too late for you.

Dr. Johnson and I were right.

There is no rehab for boobs. Many of you wind up in elected bodies. The only benefit there is that adults can keep an eye on you.





Kevin Smith

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Dan Becker Dan Gerstenzang The Miami Herald

May 25, 2012
Dan Becker
Dan Gerstenzang
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 33132-169

RE: In praise of Global Warming – some comments about article in today’s Miami Herald that combines the enticing smell of “Rainbow Stew”, the captivating aura of “Balloon Juice”, and the astonishing ability of Horses’ Asses of the modern American Liberal stable to overlook facts, ignore History, and do great damage to Logic.

Sirs,

See if you can follow this. I’ll type slowly.

A bit more than a millennium ago the earth experienced an upward spike in temperature. That means it got hotter. Here comes the good part. More land became arable. [Have you ever wondered how Greenland got its name?] Protein became more abundant. People got smarter. Voila! The Renaissance! Please don’t tell me that you have a problem with Dante.

Hark back to the halcyon days of the ‘70s. The impending doom du jour was, and I am not kidding, was Global Cooling. An academic ohmadahn of Homeric proportions, Paul Ehrlich, PhD, told that the race was on to see if we would freeze to death or starve to death by the year 2000. [He proclaimed that the main culprit in this was the Roman Catholic Church but that’s a different story.] Empirical evidence would suggest that he was 0 for 2 on both predictions. In the world of pseudo-science populated by fakers who want to change pi from 3.1416 to 3.0 to raise the self-esteem of failing Geometry\students that doesn’t ever raise a yawn. What counts for these snake oil salesmen are the intentions of the predictor, not the results or the facts.

Going through your not quite unctuous scratchings I find many of the usual suspects.

#1 – “…carbon dioxide, the main global warming pollutant…” One of the first things learned in high school biology is photosynthesis. The end result of all those plants doing something with chloroform is…is…carbon dioxide. If CO2 is bad would not Logic dictate that the Amazon Rain Forest has to go and I mean right quick. Napalm, Agent Orange, Neutron bombs, whatever is at our disposal. After all, we only have one world, right? Brazil might be upset but omelets don’t grow on tree. We have got to crack a hellacious amount of eggs. Start now.

#2 – “fighting climate change” – Since I am on the cutting edge of climatology I must tell you that I have found a new sorcerer. He is, forgive me, a true Renaissance man. Professor Antonio Vivaldi tells of the phenomenal effects of, are you ready, climate change. I suggest you become familiar with him and his works.

#3 – “COAL” – Here is a local solution for a global problem. Half the electricity produced in this country comes from burning coal. Half the electricity produced in this country is used for air conditioning. The two of you look like bright guys. Can you see where I am going with this? I have been asking the Miami Herald since 1997.to turn off its air conditioning. No foreplay, no transition. Just hit the off switch. Dismantle the units. Sell the copper tubes for scrap; Give the money to the undeserving poor. Gaia will love you. Open the windows. Get hand held and hand operated fans from the local funeral parlors. On really, really hot days the serendipitous bonus will be much needed cardiovascular exercises. Plus, no carbon footprint. A win,win,win all around.

#4 – “Financing” – Your plan seems to involve all the fun parts of Solyndra, fur lined sinks, 50/50s to cure the deficit, bake sales to keep the Mandarin moneylenders content, and multi-level marketing.

A – Doubtless, you have signed the backs of paychecks. You have never signed the front of one.

B – As soon as you said “performance contracts are like magic wands” I dropped my spoon. I dropped it intentionally. Thank God I saw that the laws governing gravity had not been repealed. When I reaffirmed my long held belief that “rocks are hard and water is wet” I was able to continue on with the rest of my day.

#5 – My grandfather, the legendary Jack Smith, went to his grave with one huge unanswered question. Why are there more horses’ asses than horses’ heads? At birth the number is equal. I am trying to channel him a la Hillary Clinton and Eleanor Roosevelt. If I can get to him I’ll tell him to read your article.

Since we are speaking of asses let me go from equine to bi-pod. Here’s a pop quiz. It’s an open book test.

Bend over. Put both hands behind you. Try to find your ass.

Report back when you do.


Kevin Smith

Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz Democratic National Committee

May 26, 2012
Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
Democratic National Committee
430 S. Capitol Street, SE
Washington, DC 20003

RE: Be civil, damnit, or I’ll smack you.

Dearest Darling Debbie, Debbie,

First, a personal question.

You know how I hate it when bad things happen to good people.

I read where the FDIC has reprimanded the Community Bank of Broward. Bad loans, not enough reserves, shoddy earnings, questionable accounting practices…all things that the 1% do very well. I hope I’m wrong but isn’t that the bank that your husband is an officer and director of? Wasn’t that the bank that you did a midnight transfer for a few years back? I say “midnight” because you hoped everybody was sleeping and wouldn’t notice. At the heart of the matter you used the government as a short cut to personal profit and familial aggrandizement. That bank. That husband.

I am not sure whether you inspired Congresswoman Maxine Waters or you learned from her. It would be fair to say, at least in Congress, that there is honor among thieves.

Like I said, I hate it when bad things happen to good people.

If I am wrong allow me to offer a modern American Liberal apology. I am sorry but only if I offended anyone, particularly women and minorities.

But that’s not why I write.

When Congresswoman Gabriela Giffords was shot you leapt to the nearest open microphone with such élan that the prototypical modern American Liberal newshound, Senator Chuck U. Schumer, was impressed. Like a hog sniffing a truffle he can find a red camera light and an open mike in the next zip code.

You said that we must tone down our Rhetoric – You should have said Sophistry but since you have no knowledge, none, of Political Science or the place where such things were begun that I will grant you an indulgence because of invincible ignorance – because it was self-evident that she was shot because of hate filled talk radio, rabid Tea
Party partisans, the Koch Brothers, and that old reliable modern American Liberal piñata, Fox News.

It’s possible that with your busy schedule you didn’t know that the United States Attorney, a person who was appointed by President Obama, in Phoenix has decided that it would be impossible to prosecute the shooter.

The main reason is simple: He has snakes for brains.

He is neither able to understand the charges against him nor is he able to assist in his own defense. The Constitution mentions those Rights. [I always thought it passing strange that those Rights did not extend to Arkansas. The case of Ricky Ray Rector is like a turd in the punch bowl. It pops up at the worst time. I am still trying to find out if Hillary Rodham Clinton gave him a lap dance in the electric chair to keep him quiescent as he was being wired up to a dozen 12 volt batteries. Too bad that Ricky didn’t have a RESET button.] His life now consists of being in a room with a door with no inside handle; He appears to have mastered the art of one hand clapping. He spends most days packed in dry ice. For good behavior he gets a Thnorazine enema.

I mention the above because whatever drum the shooter marched to, it was not played by Rush Limbaugh.

Speaking of “civility”, did you see the video tape of South Carolina Democratic Party officials bashing a piñata? What made this different was that a picture of the Governor of South Carolina was on the piñata as a target. Every time the bat was swung the people at the party yelled “Raghead”.

The Governor of South Carolina is Nikki Haley. With the possible exception of Professor Pocohantas Warren, a liar soon to be employed as a greeter at the Mohegan Sun Casino, there is no more Indian woman in America. Professor Munchausen Warren bases her claim on 2 things. She put a recipe for poached soft shell crab with a remoulade sauce served on a bed of arugula, braised chard, and endives served with Corton Charlemagne into a cook book filled with recipes from her great, great, great, grandmother. The other proof is that Grammy’s beau, Long Knife, AKA Death to the Round Eyes, ate Custer’s heart.

Governor Halley looks like someone that Kipling wrote about. She doesn’t look like someone who has lived a lie all her life and has benefited greatly from it. In that regard Princess SummerFallWinterlLiar is the perfect role model for modern American Liberalism. She is like a car skidding on an icy street. The only thing that will stop her is the lamp post or the fire truck coming through the intersection.

Does “raghead” turn a political prank into a hate crime? Should some demented 99 percenter hit her with a bat would the Occupy Wall Street mob be culpable? How much liability would land at the feet of Bill Maher? How about George Soros?

That’s the problem with civility and free speech. It’s a two edged sword.

One of my favorite rabbis, Nat Hentoff, wrote a book entitled “Free Speech for Me but Not for Thee”.

It’s been some time since I’ve written to you. I hope you haven’t forgotten me.

If Curley Biden, a man for the term Wing Nut Moon Bat Loon was invented, gets any crazier are you going to allow him to go out in public?

Please don’t send the cops after me again.






Kevin Smith

Friday, May 25, 2012

DUTY HONOR COUNTRY

This month marks the 50th anniversary of the last public speech of General Douglas MacArthur. It was given at the United States Military Academy at West Point from where he was graduated and later served as Superintendent. His audience was the Corps of Cadets. His theme was simple.

We ask men to become part of something greater than themselves. We ask them to volunteer to become a counterweight on the scales that free men must always bring back into balance, into harmony.

One of these men was Corporal Leonard W. Putnam, my wife Amy’s uncle.

On May 25, 1945 “in the Pacific area” as his scroll says, a 42 year old piano salesman from Jersey City, NJ was hit by a Japanese mortar shell. Eye witnesses tell of the upper right quadrant of his body being blown up and away from the rest of him.

In the song “Young Willie McBride” a question is asked at the headstone of a 19 year old Tommy. “Was it quick and clean or was it slow and obscene”?

Corporal Putnam was dead before the rest of him hit the ground.

I’ve been doing these tributes since 1997. He and his wife had no children. It was my attempt to keep his name alive. This is the first time that Corporal Putnam’s niece, my wife Amy, is not here with her handy blue pencil.

She had more than a passing interest in my efforts what with both the Japanese Navy and the German Navy trying to sink the ship her father served on as a surgeon. It is worth noting that the “RESET” button that the Kellogg-Briand Naval Treaty, a treaty that earned its architects Nobel Peace Prizes did not work. It proved to be no impediment to war. A case can be made for it hastening it.

In Macarthur’s speech he says that the American soldier has “drained deep the chalice of courage”.

A bit of homework revealed that Amy’s cousin, Andy Safner, was about 100 miles North of Okinawa on May 25, 1945. He was a radio man on a Destroyer Escort. His job was simple. His ship, slow and not well armored, had one job. It was to be the little yapping dog that wakes up the big dogs. His ship was the first American Naval vessel to encounter incoming Kamikazes. They were offered up as bait. The more the little ships engaged the kimonoed killers the better it was for the bigger ships, especially the carriers. Andy earned the naval equivalent of the Combat Infantryman’s Badge, an honor given only to those who have been engaged in armed combat with the enemy. Several of his shipmates had been killed by Kamikaze attacks. He had “seen the elephant”.

In what has become a story unique to America, in a tribute to “American Exceptionalism”, Andy came back from combat to a bartender’s job at Amy’s grandfather’s saloon. He went to college at night to earn a degree in accounting. Before becoming a partner in a Big 8 accounting firm he married Alice Ozimek and they lived happily ever after.

In the 35 years that I knew him we spoke of many things. 10Ks, Tax Court, kids, debits and credits, inter alia. He never once spoke of his time on the razor’s edge of life, of death. The wheel, having turned in his favor, was never mentioned.

Sipping also from the “chalice of courage” was my uncle John who went everywhere that MacArthur went. The first time he fired at the Japanese his rifle was 39 years old. A glass is raised to my uncle Frank. He made 3 forced landings. He learned that, yes, you can eat flies.

A glass of whisky, to be precise, a glass of single malt whisky, is raised to Dennis Greenhough. He enlisted at the age of 17 in the Royal Warwickshire Regiment at Manchester, England. He landed on Sword Beach on D-Day. He too was wounded by artillery. When he was mustered out he was a Captain.

My uncle Adam, a Scot of some note, said that “more good has come from an inn than any other invention of mankind”. I met Pink in a saloon in Antigua in 1979. We celebrated the coming of Lady Thatcher and the certain arrival of the great Reagan. He was with Barrie Cooper who had also “taken the King’s shilling” but for a later conflict.

I mentioned MacArthur’s speech to a friend in Massachusetts. He told me that he will be burying his father-in-law in June in the cemetery at West Point. Both were graduated from West Point. Both were Colonels. Both were combat veterans. Both will be together for all time.

From a corporal on Okinawa to two field grade officers in the same grave the sacred chain that MacArthur spoke of, “the long gray line”, is made clear yet again.

“In their youth their hearts were touched by fire”

My job, “to remember them with honour”, is simple.


KS


I add two names: A teammate, Greg Koch, and a fraternity brother, Bill Sauer.

God rest their souls

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Steven L. Goldstein The Sun Sentinel

May 10, 2012
Steven L. Goldstein
The Sun Sentinel

My dear Professor,

Could it be a Damascus moment?

There can be no doubt that same sex marriages must be in the Democratic platform this year. Not to do so would be an intellectual and moral disaster. Further, it would be malfeasance of the highest order to have the convention in North Carolina. Bite the bullet, remembering that the first markdown is always the cheapest. Have Curley Biden – named in honor of the smartest stooge – go back on Sunday TV and say Adios, Tar Heels.

There will be some economic consequences but that’s wyt you have a Shovel Ready Summer of Recovery Stimulus Program.

There will be no disruption. The answer lies in your devotion to pure democracy.

Every delegate gets a laptop. Use some bandwidth and satellites to broadcast it. Have some honorary delegate posts: The Mission district of San Francisco, the Stonewall in Greenwich Village, [Fire Island if it goes into overtime] and Provincetown, MA for its summer breezes. Have RuPaul be the Master of Ceremonies with some catchy tunes from La Cage aux Folles. NAMBLA can have a national TV audience featuring them and the world famous Dancing Boys of Islam.

On the final night have one of those mass weddings that everyone so enjoyed when the Reverend Moon was in his prime. A thousand men wearing gowns and a thousand women wearing white tie and tails. Unlike a Chinese takeaway the option of one from each column will not be available. No mixing and matching. The only option is two from one column. As a run up to the big night you could have “Say Yes to the Dress” and “Bridezilla” fans discussing tax policy, nuclear waste disposal, and what to do with “bitter clingers”.

If you follow my suggestions – I’ll really flesh them out over the weekend – it will be the most successful convention since Caligua married his horse. The election will be called off. Lord Barack the Beneficent will be proclaimed Emperor Barack the Sublime. A Profile in Courage awaits the first to go into the pool.

The American people are ready for this. By the end of the year we’ll all wonder what the fuss was about.

In case you are wondering why I have become so fertile it is because I am with my granddaughters in Texas. Although I have not yet found a BAR in tip-top working condition I am training my Texas ladies in snake handling, axe throwing, speed loading,
The Federalist Papers, identity theft, refuting Darwin, helot stalking, the difference between whiskey and whisky, and why modern American Liberals will soon be an endangered species.

They will probably rank above the Delhi smelt but behind the legendary dervish lousewort.

We live in exciting times.

Kool-Aid is being prepared in record amounts. Not only will these nit-wits drink it they will set up IVs and enemas for the infirm.

In the secular humanist world inhabited by heads up their ass modern American Liberals, all of whom are suffering from “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”, I am soon to be like Alexander the Great. He cried when he realized there were no more worlds to conquer.

Vaya con dios, piñata..




Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

Steven L. Goldstein The Sun Sentinel

May 10, 2012
Steven L. Goldstein
The Sun Sentinel

My dear Professor,

When asked if he had changed his mind the great Lord Keynes, an economist more cited than read, said “Of course. I change my mind when the facts change. Don’t you?”

In my little note to you dated 4/28/12 I said “Here’s a good sign for you. I have the same position on same sex marriage as the President.”

He changed his mind not because the facts, those damned inconvenient things, changed but rather because his ohmadanish horse’s ass of a Vice President opened his mouth and stepped on his tongue. I haven’t changed my mind.

The American voting public has the same position as I have. Every time, in every section of the country, when the issue of same sex marriage has appeared on a ballot the American public, in a democratic manner that you previously have praised, have voted same sex marriages down ranging from decisively to overwhelmingly. I think in the wonderland of true democracy, a world that two weeks ago you tumescently yearned for, the people, doubtless lizards all, have spoken.

The Internet, and a special shout out of thanks to its inventor Alpha Gump, can provide us with a test of the public will. Yea or Nay. Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve.

Isn’t that what you said on 4/29/12 was the best of all possible worlds? After all, the people united can never be defeated, right?






Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

Hillary Clinton Secretary of State

May 10, 2012
Hillary Clinton
Secretary of State
2201 C Street NW
Washington, DC 20520

RE: At last, the RESET button [Mandarin version] is working.

Madame Secretary,

You were opposed to the entry of Wal-Mart into the American banking business when you were in the Senate even though you once were a member of its Board of Directors. That was when your husband was the Governor of Arkansas.

In re the Keystone Pipeline, the President has said that he will wait until the State Department finishes its assessment of the foreign policy effects, the nexus of business and diplomacy being obvious.

I read this morning of the Federal Reserve “clearing a takeover of a US bank by a Chinese state-controlled company”.

Was the State Department made aware of this?

If not, why not?

If you were, were your comments made public?

If not, why not?

Since I can find no record of your department commenting on it I must assume that the adage “silence gives consent” applies.

Would you be so kind as to tell me why you, when you were a Senator, were opposed to Wal-Mart, as American a company as can be imagined, while you stand mute when the Chinese government enters our banking business?

Will the rules governing American owned banks apply equally to Chinese government owned banks? Specifically, will they be subject to the FDIC and state banking regs? Will they be subject to Congressional oversight? In the event of a law suit will the Chinese government, not the Chinese and/or American managers, respond in a United States Court or will they claim diplomatic immunity?

Perhaps we should think about a swap of Treasury obligations held by the Chinese government for some American entities. Why not Camp Gitmo? They are very experienced in locking people up. Besides, who can beat the weather? If not Gitmo how about Vieques? Detroit and the Everglades leap to mind. Ceding Santa Catalina and Martha’s Vineyard to the Uighurs for some cancelled T-Bills would show that we stand with the 99%.

As to your hair, I think you are old enough and scarred enough for you to wear it any way you want. Since I am follicley challenged I prefer floppy mullets. Who says the wet look is dead?

In anticipation of the courtesy of a prompt and complete reply I remain


Sincerely,



Kevin Smith

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

On the burial of Colonel Roy Bowlin, Jr. Class of 1944, with his father Colonel Roy Bowlin, Sr. Class of 1917, at the United States Military Academy as told to me by his son-in-law, Tom Fiedler after I sent him a copy of Douglas MacArthur’s 1962 farewell speech at West Point

May 8, 2012
RE: On the burial of Colonel Roy Bowlin, Jr. Class of 1944, with his father Colonel Roy Bowlin, Sr. Class of 1917, at the United States Military Academy as told to me by his son-in-law, Tom Fiedler after I sent him a copy of Douglas MacArthur’s 1962 farewell speech at West Point
Dear Tom,
3 generations of Smiths - Grandfather, son, and grandson – would travel each year to West Point to watch Army play football.

A spell binding surprise was Macarthur’s speech – the speech – being broadcast continuously in front of the library.

The voice, the words, the diction, the pauses, the bridges, the rising tempo – I have not heard its like since.

“When Pericles spoke people said how well he speaks.
When Demosthenes spoke people said ‘Let us march’.”

1961, 1962, 1964. Years with great speeches.

The first and the last were calls to action.

MacArthur’s was a celebration of and a reminder to the young men present of the permanent things. The first thing was that they were part of something greater than themselves. Their chosen profession – no one gets drafted to West Point – may require them to take the soldier’s chance. From Homer to Kipling we stand in awe of the choices they take.

I saw “Top Gun” when it came out in the ‘80s. I got a copy of “The Bridges of Toko-Ri” for comparison’s sake. Better story, better action, much better looking lady – game, set, and match to the 1950s.

“Why us, Sergeant? Why us?” asks the young recruit of the company Colour Sergeant at Rorke’s Drift in the movie “Zulu”. “Because we’re here, boy. Because we’re here.”

At the end of “The Bridges of Toko-Ri” the Admiral asks “Where do we find such men”?

The Army promised my Uncle John that he would be home for Christmas, 1941. He got back to Jersey City in 1946. Everywhere MacArthur went he went with him. The first time he fired back at the Japanese his rifle was 39 years old. He was wounded at Leyte Gulf. He had a ticket on the Tokyo Express with an ETA in November, 1945. He was buried with his mates, the men with whom he had served, in 2001.

Your wife’s father will lie like a hero surrounded by other heroes. I risk one toe over the line of maudlin but a case could be made for his father saying, “I’ve been waiting for you”. Achilles, Caesar, Martell, Cervantes, Nelson, Sherman, Patton, and now the two Colonel Bowlins join the long line of warriors whose job was not the making of wars but the fighting of them.

It’s time to start putting together my May 25th note to Corporal Leonard Putnam. He was a 42 year old piano salesman whose name was added to the butcher’s bill “in the Pacific region”. He died on Okinawa about 10 weeks short of Hiroshima. He is buried in the Punch Bowl in Hawaii surrounded by fellow heroes. He and Aunt Millie had no children. Amy, his niece, won’t be here this year. Nobody else knows about him. My job is simple.

“Where do we find such men”?

Praise God we never have to need them and not have them.




KS