February 26, 2014
Leonard Pitts, Jr.
The Miami Herald
3511 NW 91st Avenue
Miami, FL 33172

RE: Perhaps a teachable moment – More comments on “ignorant and intolerant” White folk in a cabal with some Judas Black ministers to suggest that “Boys in the Band” may not be the paradigmatic modern American Liberal template for public policy.

Mr. Pitts,

Good old John Calhoun!

It’s almost 200 years but it must feel good to be vindicated, and by a Black man to boot!

John C. Calhoun was a Senator, a Democratic Senator if you will, from South Carolina who posited a simple theory. If a state, any state, didn’t like a law coming from Washington they didn’t have to obey it. Each state had the right of nullification. [Calhoun and Webster mixed it up rhetorically on the floor of the Senate but we’ll save that for a more advanced class.]

Yesterday, Eric Holder, the Black Attorney General of the United States, told the assembled state Attorneys General that if they didn’t like a law well then, by cracky, they didn’t have to enforce it.

Yes, that sound is from Orwell. “All pigs are equal: some pigs are more equal than others”. Pigs? Laws? No difference.

This prompts 2 quotes.

“The Rule of Law means, in the first place, the absolute supremacy
or predominance of regular law as opposed to the influence of
arbitrary power, and excludes the existence of arbitrariness, of
prerogative, or even of wide discretionary power on the part of
government.”
The Law of the Constitution
A.V. Dicey

The other is more subjective.

“And when you cut down every law to get at the Devil
where would you hide when he turned on you, the laws
being flat? I would give the Devil the benefit of the Law
for my own safety’s sake.”
Thomas More had his head cut off for saying that.

I am almost embarrassed to say this but I thought that the Attorney General, in
addition to being “clean and articulate”, was bright. What happens if the next AG decides that eclectic enforcement of Federal law becomes the standard?

How about if he decides that after reading it the Affordable Care is not, as Curley Biden said, such a “big fucking deal”? How about if he says that the Davis-Bacon act is History? How about if he says that as a fan of NASCAR it’s time for gas mileage rules to go? How about announcing that the Georgetown salamander, the Delhi smelt, and the long beleaguered Furbish lousewort have got to make it on their own in this far too cruel world?

How about if he decides that only 6 of the first 10 amendments can be valid on any one day? Maybe we could have odd/even day enforcement. It worked for gas, didn’t it?

Calhoun was a man of deep intellect whose idea, carried to its Logical end, was nullified on the field of battle.

No wonder that old ladron Castro refuses to die. Every time he approaches flat-line status this country does something so egregiously dumb to itself that it’s like giving the old thug a Viagra enema.

The next lecture will be on how the “Ignorant and intolerant” White guys got a unanimous vote on the Supreme Court to overturn Plessy v Ferguson. The following lecture will be how the “ignorant and intolerant” White Republican Senators got all the Civil Rights acts of the ‘60s passed when the Democratic Senators sat on their wise and tolerant asses and voted against them.




Kevin Smith

February 26, 2014

Leonard Pitts, Jr.
The Miami Herald
3511 NW 91st Street
Miami, Florida 33172

RE: To Hell with boycotting Arizona! Deport it! Some comments on your unlinkable op-ed in today’s Miami Herald about bigoted White folk suggesting that some people can still “give sodomy a bad name”.

Mr. Pitts,

“Perhaps the right wing’s proud embrace of
ignorance and intolerance has grown so toxic
they demand to be confronted.”
The Miami Herald
Today
You

Assuming that Governor Brewer vetoes the same sex barrel bunging bill will Arizona still have to perform penance to atone for their **********r one of our more sensitive minorities?

How about Barney Frank, AKA “Primo Tight End Wedgebuster”, in stiletto heels with his mauve skirt slit from ankle to hip tattoo, leading the chorus from “La Cage aux Folles” in a stirring rendition of “I Am What I Am” in lieu of the National Anthem?

Maybe we’re not ready for that.

Yet.

I read today where a lot of “Ignorant and intolerant” Black ministers want to gather 1,000,000 signatures to impeach Eric Holder’s Black ass because of his support for same-sex marriage.

If memory serves, Minister Louie Faraloon gathered 1,000,000 Black men in Washington to bellyache about the unfairness of it all. 1,000,000 was the final count, right?

It seems that these “ignorant and intolerant” holy rollers, craven Uncle Toms all, are doing Whitey’s bidding by saying that a wedding invitation that says Mr. & Mr. may not be Kosher.

You say “Boycott Arizona because the sun shines in California”.

“Eclectic indignation”, the one gift that modern American Liberals must possess lest their intellectual construct collapse, has allowed you to send an inconvenient truth down the Kumbaya memory hole. The people of California overwhelmingly rejected same sex marriage. It is a dirty little secret, one that modern American Liberals chose to forget, but wherever same-sex marriage has been on a ballot it has always – no exceptions – been rejected.

Is there an upper limit on the number of states we can boycott?

Thank God President B. O. found those extra 7, or was it 8, states. We can boycott states that don’t even have a name yet!

But speaking of another matter…

Would it be “ignorant and intolerant” of me to point out that since Roe v Wade between 35% and 40% of the abortions performed in this country have been done on Black women?

That’s no less than 550,000 a year, every year, since 1973.

On the other hand, same-sex marriages could solve that problem, no.

And I could get to see my nephew, James, in Phoenix without incurring the wrath of Pitts the Holy and being subjected to the typically foetid Pitts billingsgate.



Kevin Smith

February 23, 2014

One of the highlights of my daughter Courtenay’s wedding – Sorry, George – in 1995 was the ring bearer. James Quinn wore a plaid vest and had a mien and manner quite beyond his 5 years.
His family and mine have been connected on this side of the Atlantic for the last 125 years. My grandfather and his great-grandfather hoofed it out of Ballyglass, County Galway, Province of Connaught, occupied Ireland, a step ahead of the Queen’s agents. They called each other “cousin”. As a sign of God’s great sense of mirth He had them settle in Bayonne, New Jersey.
James was without a senior male presence in his early years so Maryellen, his mother, suggested that rather than being a distant cousin, I become his uncle. I assumed the title willingly and lovingly. I also had an ulterior motive. Since I am in perpetual “disfavor with fortune and men’s eyes” the only legacy I can give to my children, my grandchildren, and one nephew is knowledge of and appreciation for the legacy common to all the legatees of Western Civilization. I had him in my cultural Petri dish for a long time.
Over the years he committed the unpardonable sin of indulging me. I sent him box after box of ancient texts and of contemporary takes on same. Along the way I had him quaffing deeply from the spring of “permanent things”.
In addition to lettering on a state championship football team at Brophy Prep in Phoenix he won an academic scholarship to Arizona State University. He was inducted into Phi Beta Kappa in October, 2012.
Since I believe that “modesty is an overrated virtue” I include a letter he sent me a while back when I was in the Land of Counterpane.
Words such as his are usually saved for an elegy. Hopefully mine will be in a suitable public house.
I am most grateful I got to hear them now.

Uncle Kevin


My Dearest Uncle Kevin,

I hope that you are making a full recovery from your surgery and you are in my prayers. I am praying to the old gods and the new that you make a full, speedy recovery.

I wish I could fly out to Florida and be there to take care of you while discussing great essayists, authors and historical figures.

As for me, I am currently teaching at my former high school, Brophy College Preparatory. I am party of a program called the Alumni Service Corps. This is a volunteer group and it is similar to the Jesuit Volunteer Corps but it is my high school's own in-house version. I am the athletic director of the middle school there, Loyola Academy. It is a middle school set up for underprivileged students who come from lower income families. I am having the time of my life right now. We recently took 2nd place in basketball the other night. In November, we placed 3rd in football. I was the head coach for football and the co-head coach for basketball. I am the first coach to bring home trophies to the school and it has been a tremendous honor to do so.

My scholars (they don't like the term students because scholars are eager to learn while students are not) ask me how I know so much about everything and how I am so well-rounded, despite being a PE teacher. I tell them that a big part of this had to do with my Uncle Kevin. I explained to them how all your books, tapes and essays helped me become the well-rounded academic I am today. Without my Uncle Kevin's guidance and wisdom, I would not have picked up those books or those essays. I would not have developed certain opinions about life, the world, economies, politics, wars and history if it wasn't for his teachings he parted to me. I credit you with a large part of my education although I don't even think student loans could cover the cost of all that you have given to me both academically and as a person.

I love you very much, Uncle Kevin.

I hope that you feel better soon.

Sincerely,

James

February 14, 2014
Stephen L. Goldstein
The Sun Sentinel

RE: How the Radical Right has caused Global Cooling, Global Warming, teenage obesity, a law mandating that every family has 2 bazookas, and the possibility that they may sweep all modern American Liberals out of the Senate this fall. Some comments on your column in today’s Sun sentinel on how the Koch Brothers will turn us all into serfs.

My dear Professor,

I have been away from my duties far too long. Lord knows but I have missed your insipid inanities for far too long. I have some questions for you.

#1 – If you stumble upon 2 sacks filled with cash how can you tell which sack is from the evil Koch Brothers and which sack is from the beneficent George Soros? Say what you will about Soros we can all agree on one thing about him. He can surely tell the buttered side from the dry. After working for the Nazis for 2 years he was able to take his hard earned concentration camp skills and go to work for the Communists. He was, as Hinnisey the Publican used to say, “A man who saw his opportunities and took’em”.

#2 – Should the Republicans control both Houses of Congress they will not impeach President B.O. His conviction would make Curley [named after the smartest Stooge] Biden the President. He is so Goddamn ginormously dumb that he thinks manual labor is the trabajador who mows his lawn.

#3 – If the Governor and the Legislature “continue their efforts to deny citizens the right to vote” why don’t they start with you? Maybe the IRS could give you and your co-conspirators a colonic lavage that would remove your tonsils. Your political life would be proctologized in such a way that you would long for Elba.

#4 – Maybe you could help me with Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz. She no longer returns my calls.

Is she lying about what the Israeli Ambassador said to her or is the Israeli Ambassador lying about what he says he said to her. Both can’t be telling the truth. I would like to know.

Also, either she is for increased sanctions against Iran or she is opposed to them. When she is in Broward County she sounds as if she would like to lead a wing of B-52s into Teheran. When she is in Washington she sounds like Neville Chamberlain. What does she sound like when she is flying over South Carolina? I know that plaid is the favorite color of modern American Liberals but if anyone knows what she really thinks I would like to know.
#5 – Since you are about to be overcome with a case of terminal vapors and screaming heeby-jeebies should the Republicans take the Senate why don’t you suggest to President B.O. AKA El Supremo to his brown shirt thugs, that he shut congress down? By his use of executive orders he has shown that Congress is about as useful as teats on a bull. Shut it down and use the money to pay for advanced Obamacare.

Don’t you love it when a plan comes together?



Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

February 14, 2014
Congresswoman Lois Frankel
2500 N. Military Trail #490
Mouth of the Rat, FL 33431

RE: 2 things, maybe 3

Madame Congresswoman,

President Obama raised the minimum wage paid to Federal contract workers to $10.10 an hour Would you please tell me how many federal contract workers are currently paid at the minimum wage, regardless of what it is.

President Obama told us recently that females are paid just 77% of what males make. It must gall you when you realize that Congressman Alcee Hastings, a convicted felon and an impeached Judge, makes about $40,000 a year more than you do.

With your permission I would like to sponsor a series of fund raisers – bake sales, 50/50s, yard sales and the like to bring your salary up to his. It’s least I can do.

One other thing before I go. If President B.O. can do everything with but a phone and a pen why should we have a Congress?

The courtesy of a reply to a constituent would be appreciated.




Kevin Smith

February 17, 2014
Morgan Marquez
American Heritage School
12200 W. Broward Blvd.
Plantation, FL 33325

RE: “There’s no such thing as privacy” – Some comments on your Op-Ed in the Sun Sentinel on 2/14/14

Ms. Marquez,

Alas, the consequences of over-Facebooking or ultra-Tweeting will never be visited on me. The reasons are simple: I know that you have your head down when you do either or both and that doing either or both to excess is like eating a bowl of whipped cream that has been topped by meringue. After you finish you not quite sure what you have done.

Your title – “There is no such thing as privacy” – is intriguing.

I have some idea what the tuition is at American Heritage. I have some idea what the curriculum contains but, more importantly, no idea what it does not contain.

You may wish to turn to your Google trot – “trot”? Ask someone really old – and ask about Logic. It is, of course, the capstone of the Trivium and, as such, it has been consigned to the memory hole of modern American Liberalism and its spawn, culturally neutral secular humanism.

[One of the serendipitous joys of discovering the Trivium is that you will quickly discover the difference between Rhetoric and Sophistry.]

If, as you say, “there is no such thing as privacy”, there is no justification, either legal or moral, for abortion.

How I got to that conclusion is simple.

You have my permission and blessing to begin your journey.

People have been taking it for 25 centuries. You go, girl!




Kevin Smith