Posts
December 23, 2012
Gary Stein
The Sun Sentinel
RE: In for a pence, in for a pound
Big Stein,
“Philippines Bans Political Abductions”
I read the above headline in the Dallas Morning News today. And yes, while it is not Wynona, MN Dallas is waging a valiant fight against the dreaded Global Warming. 39 degrees Fahrenheit at dawn suggests that this monster can be beaten back if enough men of good will are just willing to work at it, right?
I’ll get back to the above mentioned, decidedly non-Western, headline later.
I confess to owning a pick-up truck. It was red with a five speed transmission. It had some bumper stickers but the ones I used in the ‘70s, ones like “Nuke the Whales”, “God Bless John Wayne”, and “Support the Right to Arm Bears” are no longer available.
“Al Gore is Still Dumb but Joey Biden is a World Class Horse’s Ass” got a lot of knowing grins and honks at red lights. Alas, the truck is gone.
It never had any Confederate flags on it.
The reason was simple.
I was 9 years old when, on route to Yellowstone Park from Bayonne, NJ, my father stopped at Gettysburg. We went to the Wheatfield. My father’s father had 2 uncles, both members of the Irish Brigade, who fought there. One of them, Uncle Luke, is still there, “wrapped in his favorite coat of Blue”. I like to think he died quick and clean and that someone said good words as they lowered his body down. The pipes always played “The Garryowen” before the battle. I am not sure what was played when the butcher’s bill was settled.
As an avid reader of Civil War History I would have enhanced Sherman’s [and may I add that his “surge” certainly worked so well that Bush used it, remember?] performance by having him flatten Savannah and then absolutely level Charleston. I mean nothing left save for cooling embers and mournful wails. Just like the Romans did to Carthage. It worked for Curtis Lemay, didn’t it?
Besides, my status a full-fledged, red necked, snake handling, dumb enough to get lost on a ladder, Good Old Boy would have been blackballed by the fact that my truck was made in Japan.
We know that Columbine was caused by McCarthyNixonReagan and the impending arrival of Young Bush. At least that’s what Michael Moore told us. Do you know when he will tell us from his Director’s ex-cathedra chair [forgive the intentional redundancy] why a mad man killed all those children in Connecticut? I suspect that the Tea Party is the prime suspect.
Soon, I hope.
My last gunfight happened on June 3, 1993. It was in Room 1104 of the Essex County Courthouse in Newark, NJ. Judge Leonard Ronco was presiding over a carjacking trial, carjacking being the crime du jour. One Newark police officer was shot in the back of his head and was dead before he hit the ground. The other victim, Deputy Sheriff Ralph Rizzolo, was shot in the sternum by a bad guy using a.357 Magnum. The bullet, with an entry wound the size of a quarter, went up to his right shoulder and then down to his right elbow where it became lodged. I saved his life. 2 and ½ years later he danced at my daughter’s wedding. His department, the Essex County Sheriff’s Department and Sheriff Armando Fortuona, did not do right by him.
Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz told us that the reason why Congresswoman Giffords was shot was because the formerly irenic shooter was forced to kill people because he listened to Rush Limbaugh. Doubtless, the decision not to prosecute him because he had snakes for brains, made by a United States Attorney appointed by a Democratic President, was controlled by the NRA.
By now you must be aware of the crazy man who killed 3 dozen kids in Michigan in 1927. He didn’t use an assault weapon; he used dynamite. Did the world cancel the Nobel Prizes?
I am having difficulty following your column because your bankrupt employer wants me to spend 59 cents a day to access it. I read some of it and then a screen blocking ad pops up. I’ll not be buying it. I guess that means I won’t be able to send a link to your column I, believing that the world would succumb to the polar reversal and subsequent loss of gravity as predicted by the usually reliable Mayan shamans had all my outstanding notes come due on December 24th. That means I will be “in permanent disfavor with fortune and men’s eyes”. Since I am in Texas for Christmas there is no one selling it in the busy intersections. I think you want someone who is familiar with the subjunctive mood and fractional deposits, someone who is able to tell the difference between Chiaroscuro and Caravaggio, someone who knows the difference between malum per se and malum prohibitum to explain things.
I’ll try.
First, the Constitution, the document that modern American Liberals believe must adapt to modern times, says that the accused must understand the charges against him. Did Jared Loughner and Howard Unruh understand what they were accused of? If they did they would have been tried and convicted of their crimes. They did not so they weren’t.
Second, there is one thing that baffles, bewilders, and bedazzles modern American Liberals. It is the existence and presence of evil. I will let the theologians and psychiatrists argue why this is. Suffice to say someone who lives in the real world, the world where “stones are hard and water is wet”, knows this to be a cold hard fact. Another lump in the craw of true believers that creatures can change spots is that they don’t. If they did would not the War on Poverty been won long ago? If the tenets of modern American Liberalism worked why were there 27 homicides in Chicago last month? Sad to say, they do not. That it did not was, in hindsight, eminently predictable.
12/24/12
Big Stein,
My father was in an automobile accident last night. Any landing you walk away from is considered a good one. He hopes to finish this in 2 or 3 days. Meanwhile, he extends a culturally diverse, non-denominational Seasons’ greetings to all men of good will.
Sean Smith
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Friday, December 21, 2012
On mourning the death of Judge Bork in a most narcissistic manner
December 19, 2012
On mourning the death of Judge Bork in a most narcissistic manner
Gerrino’s, a great Eye-Tie restaurant in Hoboken, NJ, was where I entered into a wager with then NJ Appellate Judge Geoffrey Gaulkin. We were there to attend a wedding. He was to marry the couple while I was there to celebrate it until a few years later when I had to ask myself how I could have been so very, very wrong about the groom.
The Judge and I had a mutual acquaintance. Jack Adams, my next door neighbor in West Orange, had gone to grammar school in Caldwell with the Judge. He recognized Jack’s name immediately and we settled into some reminiscences about long lost friends.
Elections are always numero uno in Hudson County. They rank far ahead of sex, religion, the weather, and high school football.
I said that the coming re-election of the Great Reagan would assure, inter alia, the nominations of Bork and Scalia to the Supreme Court.
Judge Gaulkin said that they both “scared” him, particularly Bork.
In the case of Judge Bork I said that I found it hard to believe that a devotee of Alexander Bickel could be “scary”.
He asked me how I, as a non-lawyer, would have become familiar with Bickel. I asked if I had to be a member of the Bar to read either the Federalist Papers or the Constitution.
I allowed that “The Supreme Court and the Idea of Progress” and “The Morality of Consent” [both written by Bickel] have had and will have a permanent and growing influence on American jurisprudence and American culture.
Make haste slowly is still good advice. Judges who think that their banging a gavel can soothe the planet, calm the raging seas, and make lambs volunteer to spend the night with the lions are not to be trusted. They are so smart they’re dumb. The Judiciary should not, per se, be primus inter pares.
“How sad of all the things that men endure how few
Laws or Kings can cause or cure”
I said that I was willing to bet that the next 2 nominations to the Supreme Court would be Scalia and Bork
The stakes were simple.
Dinner at Gerrino’s.
The offer was accepted.
Sometimes the only contracts that must be enforced are the unenforceable ones.
I am still waiting for the good Judge to cover his marker. 1984 to 2012. I guess the statute on enforcing unenforceable contracts has run also. My last attempt was in 2002.
Judge Bork became a lexicographer’s delight. His name became a verb and a gerund. 25 years later to Bork someone is still widely understood. Although it is barely 15 years the question “Does she Monica?” is not as instantly recognizable as it once was.
The opposition to Judge Bork becoming Justice Bork was led by Lard Kennedy, the Senate’s longest serving moral slag heap, the paradigmatic template of modern American Liberalism, and the best argument for estates being taxed at 105%. In this endeavor he was ably aided by Joey Biden. His secret Service call sign is “Curly” who we know was the smartest stooge. In Joey’s defense let it be said that he is too dumb to know that he is meaner than cat shit.
The process of Borking had people going through his garbage looking for signs of aberrant behavior. Finding none they went to the local movie rental store to see if he liked sex and violence flicks. He was criticized for accepting an after-hours job so he could make his first wife’s dying a bit less painful. His views were opposed in such a manner that it made the traditional argumentum ad hominem seem to be a day at the beach.
It must be noted that Republican lack both the guile and the smamriness to do unto others as was done to Robert Bork.
The Senate took the President’s nomination under advisement and refused to consent to it by a vote of 58 to 42 .It took 13 years for the petard of Clio, my favorite Muse, to find a very big hoistee.
Albert Arnold Gore, Jr, AKA Alpha Gump, a polluting slumlord whose Secret Service call sign was Cementhead, a man who set a record by flunking out of 2 graduate schools in one semester, would have become President if the Borking of Judge Bork had not been so effective.
The urban legend says that the vote to make George Bush President was 5 to 4. It was not. The vote was 7 to 2. The vote to accept the case was 5 to 4. Two Justices, having voted not to accept the case, changed their votes once the case was accepted.
Judge Bork, had he become Justice Bork, would have voted against accepting the case. The lower court ruling would have stood. Bush would have gone back to Texas and Al and Thumper Gump and all the baby Gumpsters would have occupied the White House.
If it were Justice Bork who died today it would have given President Obama the chance to remake the Court in his image.
Funny how things work out.
I never did get to have my rack of Italian lamb, sliced a la Anglaise, some castagnas, and Riserva Ducale. No tiramisu. Zabaglione would have been my choice. Perhaps some Sambuca. Maybe a de Nobili.
It was a long time ago.
Let it be said of Judge Bork, as was said of Thomas More, that he was the guardian of the law, that he stood a watch on the towers that defend the law from being used as vehicle to attain a du jour political end, however desired.
On mourning the death of Judge Bork in a most narcissistic manner
Gerrino’s, a great Eye-Tie restaurant in Hoboken, NJ, was where I entered into a wager with then NJ Appellate Judge Geoffrey Gaulkin. We were there to attend a wedding. He was to marry the couple while I was there to celebrate it until a few years later when I had to ask myself how I could have been so very, very wrong about the groom.
The Judge and I had a mutual acquaintance. Jack Adams, my next door neighbor in West Orange, had gone to grammar school in Caldwell with the Judge. He recognized Jack’s name immediately and we settled into some reminiscences about long lost friends.
Elections are always numero uno in Hudson County. They rank far ahead of sex, religion, the weather, and high school football.
I said that the coming re-election of the Great Reagan would assure, inter alia, the nominations of Bork and Scalia to the Supreme Court.
Judge Gaulkin said that they both “scared” him, particularly Bork.
In the case of Judge Bork I said that I found it hard to believe that a devotee of Alexander Bickel could be “scary”.
He asked me how I, as a non-lawyer, would have become familiar with Bickel. I asked if I had to be a member of the Bar to read either the Federalist Papers or the Constitution.
I allowed that “The Supreme Court and the Idea of Progress” and “The Morality of Consent” [both written by Bickel] have had and will have a permanent and growing influence on American jurisprudence and American culture.
Make haste slowly is still good advice. Judges who think that their banging a gavel can soothe the planet, calm the raging seas, and make lambs volunteer to spend the night with the lions are not to be trusted. They are so smart they’re dumb. The Judiciary should not, per se, be primus inter pares.
“How sad of all the things that men endure how few
Laws or Kings can cause or cure”
I said that I was willing to bet that the next 2 nominations to the Supreme Court would be Scalia and Bork
The stakes were simple.
Dinner at Gerrino’s.
The offer was accepted.
Sometimes the only contracts that must be enforced are the unenforceable ones.
I am still waiting for the good Judge to cover his marker. 1984 to 2012. I guess the statute on enforcing unenforceable contracts has run also. My last attempt was in 2002.
Judge Bork became a lexicographer’s delight. His name became a verb and a gerund. 25 years later to Bork someone is still widely understood. Although it is barely 15 years the question “Does she Monica?” is not as instantly recognizable as it once was.
The opposition to Judge Bork becoming Justice Bork was led by Lard Kennedy, the Senate’s longest serving moral slag heap, the paradigmatic template of modern American Liberalism, and the best argument for estates being taxed at 105%. In this endeavor he was ably aided by Joey Biden. His secret Service call sign is “Curly” who we know was the smartest stooge. In Joey’s defense let it be said that he is too dumb to know that he is meaner than cat shit.
The process of Borking had people going through his garbage looking for signs of aberrant behavior. Finding none they went to the local movie rental store to see if he liked sex and violence flicks. He was criticized for accepting an after-hours job so he could make his first wife’s dying a bit less painful. His views were opposed in such a manner that it made the traditional argumentum ad hominem seem to be a day at the beach.
It must be noted that Republican lack both the guile and the smamriness to do unto others as was done to Robert Bork.
The Senate took the President’s nomination under advisement and refused to consent to it by a vote of 58 to 42 .It took 13 years for the petard of Clio, my favorite Muse, to find a very big hoistee.
Albert Arnold Gore, Jr, AKA Alpha Gump, a polluting slumlord whose Secret Service call sign was Cementhead, a man who set a record by flunking out of 2 graduate schools in one semester, would have become President if the Borking of Judge Bork had not been so effective.
The urban legend says that the vote to make George Bush President was 5 to 4. It was not. The vote was 7 to 2. The vote to accept the case was 5 to 4. Two Justices, having voted not to accept the case, changed their votes once the case was accepted.
Judge Bork, had he become Justice Bork, would have voted against accepting the case. The lower court ruling would have stood. Bush would have gone back to Texas and Al and Thumper Gump and all the baby Gumpsters would have occupied the White House.
If it were Justice Bork who died today it would have given President Obama the chance to remake the Court in his image.
Funny how things work out.
I never did get to have my rack of Italian lamb, sliced a la Anglaise, some castagnas, and Riserva Ducale. No tiramisu. Zabaglione would have been my choice. Perhaps some Sambuca. Maybe a de Nobili.
It was a long time ago.
Let it be said of Judge Bork, as was said of Thomas More, that he was the guardian of the law, that he stood a watch on the towers that defend the law from being used as vehicle to attain a du jour political end, however desired.
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Tom Moran The Star Ledger
December 14, 2012
Tom Moran
The Star Ledger
Star Ledger Plaza
Newark, NJ 07102-1200
RE: More about Wal-Mart
Mr. Moran,
I left one thing out in my note to you on December 9, 2012. It is an inconvenient truth that modern American Liberals either air brush out, a la the Joy Boys of the Politburo, or send it down the memory hole so fast it shatters glass.
When did Wal-Mart become evil? Was it evil per se? Ab initio? Did it become evil when Hillary Rodham Clinton joined the Board of Directors or did it become evil when she left it?
If you have an uncontrollable urge to pig out on Twinkies – and having belonged to 2 unions I can say that the ones present at their demise were/are dumber than a box of hammers - do not despair. You can get them at – You guessed it – Wal-Mart.
Wal-Mart advanced the pay date for its dividend to this year so that its shareholders would have less Federal income taxes to pay on it. When was the last time the Star Ledger or its parent paid a dividend?
Have you thought about raising the price of your paper? That’s one way to increase circulation.
Kevin Smith
Tom Moran
The Star Ledger
Star Ledger Plaza
Newark, NJ 07102-1200
RE: More about Wal-Mart
Mr. Moran,
I left one thing out in my note to you on December 9, 2012. It is an inconvenient truth that modern American Liberals either air brush out, a la the Joy Boys of the Politburo, or send it down the memory hole so fast it shatters glass.
When did Wal-Mart become evil? Was it evil per se? Ab initio? Did it become evil when Hillary Rodham Clinton joined the Board of Directors or did it become evil when she left it?
If you have an uncontrollable urge to pig out on Twinkies – and having belonged to 2 unions I can say that the ones present at their demise were/are dumber than a box of hammers - do not despair. You can get them at – You guessed it – Wal-Mart.
Wal-Mart advanced the pay date for its dividend to this year so that its shareholders would have less Federal income taxes to pay on it. When was the last time the Star Ledger or its parent paid a dividend?
Have you thought about raising the price of your paper? That’s one way to increase circulation.
Kevin Smith
Congresswoman Frederica Wilson
December 10, 2012
Congresswoman Frederica Wilson
10100 Pines Blvd – B – 300
Pembroke Pines, FL 33025
RE: The trial of the woman accused of murdering Rilya Wilson and how you have made it infinitely worse.
Congresswoman Wilson,
Save the money. Why have a trial? Why don’t we just lynch her? Forget about the presumption of innocence. Forget about due process.
One more Black person hanging from a tree will not upset the karma of post-racial America, will it?
After we make her eye balls pop out, after we make her bladder and bowel explode, we can go after O.J. Simpson.
Are you in favor of public floggings?
I shudder when I think that you are paid handsomely by this country. I tremble when I realize that you have an impact on public policy.
Maybe the Mayans are on to something.
Kevin Smith
Congresswoman Frederica Wilson
10100 Pines Blvd – B – 300
Pembroke Pines, FL 33025
RE: The trial of the woman accused of murdering Rilya Wilson and how you have made it infinitely worse.
Congresswoman Wilson,
Save the money. Why have a trial? Why don’t we just lynch her? Forget about the presumption of innocence. Forget about due process.
One more Black person hanging from a tree will not upset the karma of post-racial America, will it?
After we make her eye balls pop out, after we make her bladder and bowel explode, we can go after O.J. Simpson.
Are you in favor of public floggings?
I shudder when I think that you are paid handsomely by this country. I tremble when I realize that you have an impact on public policy.
Maybe the Mayans are on to something.
Kevin Smith
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Congressman Sander Levin
December 10, 2012
Congressman Sander Levin
27085 Gratiot Avenue
Roseville, MI 48066
RE: Jeezus Haitch Keerist! You are some piece of friggin’ work.
Congressman Levin,
I just saw you being interviewed by Gwen Infill about the passage, in Michigan, of a “Right to Work” law. Its enforcement is limited by the borders of Michigan. Your answers were clouded by the syndrome typical of modern American Liberals, that is to say, “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”. If you have problems with that send a SASE.
Some things jump out:
#1 – Your hair is much better than your brother’s. He begins his comb over from his arm pit. You don’t.
#2 – If memory serves, President Obama hosted a meeting of Congressional leaders in February, 2009. “There was an election, I won” was as effective and truthful an answer as he gave all day.
#3 – You may wish to familiarize yourself with the 10th Amendment. The last time I looked it was still on the books, still valid, and, until it is changed, the law of the land.
#4 – The state of Michigan, through its duly elected representatives, passed a law that guarantees its citizens “The Right to Work”.
#5 – You, in typical modern American Liberal style, hector a Michigan State Senator, a Republican, why a law, passed by the legislature and soon to be signed by the Governor, should be ignored. As a member of Congress what the Michigan legislature does is of no official concern to you.
#6 – Refer back to #2.
#7 – Are you of any assistance to the royally screwed annuitants of Delphi Motors?
#8 – Have you ever belonged to a union? Not the soft-edged Teachers’ union or the thuggish SEIU. How about the Teamsters?
#9 – I have created a new sub-division of my awards for you.
You are hereby named
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
The sub-division is for “hypocritical modern American Liberal politicians who would not know which end of a shovel to use”.
Wear your laurel proudly.
Here’s a thought for yearend gift giving.
Why not give some of your hair to your folliclely challenged brother, the senior Senator from Michigan? I mean the poor bastard uses two quarts of Gorilla Glue to keep the 9 foot long night crawler coming out of his arm pit under control.
Brothers should take care of brothers, right?
Kevin Smith
Congressman Sander Levin
27085 Gratiot Avenue
Roseville, MI 48066
RE: Jeezus Haitch Keerist! You are some piece of friggin’ work.
Congressman Levin,
I just saw you being interviewed by Gwen Infill about the passage, in Michigan, of a “Right to Work” law. Its enforcement is limited by the borders of Michigan. Your answers were clouded by the syndrome typical of modern American Liberals, that is to say, “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”. If you have problems with that send a SASE.
Some things jump out:
#1 – Your hair is much better than your brother’s. He begins his comb over from his arm pit. You don’t.
#2 – If memory serves, President Obama hosted a meeting of Congressional leaders in February, 2009. “There was an election, I won” was as effective and truthful an answer as he gave all day.
#3 – You may wish to familiarize yourself with the 10th Amendment. The last time I looked it was still on the books, still valid, and, until it is changed, the law of the land.
#4 – The state of Michigan, through its duly elected representatives, passed a law that guarantees its citizens “The Right to Work”.
#5 – You, in typical modern American Liberal style, hector a Michigan State Senator, a Republican, why a law, passed by the legislature and soon to be signed by the Governor, should be ignored. As a member of Congress what the Michigan legislature does is of no official concern to you.
#6 – Refer back to #2.
#7 – Are you of any assistance to the royally screwed annuitants of Delphi Motors?
#8 – Have you ever belonged to a union? Not the soft-edged Teachers’ union or the thuggish SEIU. How about the Teamsters?
#9 – I have created a new sub-division of my awards for you.
You are hereby named
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
The sub-division is for “hypocritical modern American Liberal politicians who would not know which end of a shovel to use”.
Wear your laurel proudly.
Here’s a thought for yearend gift giving.
Why not give some of your hair to your folliclely challenged brother, the senior Senator from Michigan? I mean the poor bastard uses two quarts of Gorilla Glue to keep the 9 foot long night crawler coming out of his arm pit under control.
Brothers should take care of brothers, right?
Kevin Smith
Tom Moran The Star Ledger
December 9, 2012
Tom Moran
The Star Ledger
Star Ledger Plaza
Newark, NJ 07102-1200
RE: Wal-Mart – Let it become anathema but not before it builds a big store in Newark and “creates” a lot of jobs. Some comments on your column in today’s Star Ledger about the ethical tradeoffs of modern life.
Mr. Moran,
Such is your devotion to Mom-and-Pop retail stores that your hand would fall off before you would buy a book from Amazon, right? In fact, any Internet purchase would be verboten, right?
6 years ago 3 prescriptions cost me $95.00 a month. Then, and Allah Bless them, Wal-Mart sold them to me for $6.00 a month. Should I have continued to pay $95.00 a month to help Mom-and-Pop, AKA the local drug store, secure their golden years? Should I have sent the difference to the Fund to Repair the Hole in the Ozone Layer? How about the Committee to Undrown Polar Bears? What about sending some $ to Fight Teenage Obesity? If great minds can’t agree on what to do with this “windfall income” there is always the option of throwing it from the back of a moving train, it being my money, right?
I got to the part of your article about the possibility of a company other than Wal-Mart – “different retailer” is your term – building a store on the Springfield Avenue in the Central ward of Newark. The possibility always exists that all things are possibly possible, isn’t that what the Imam says?
I’ll try to break this gently.
Whatever happens to the space on Springfield Avenue you can rest assured that Nordstrom’s will not be there. Also, Whole Foods and Tiffany’s will not be there. Perhaps the Detroit Pawn Shop that is now a big TV reality show might like to expand eastward. Who knows? One thing is certain. The Short Hills Mall will not be opening an outlet mall there.
One thing the last 50 years of half-assed social policy implementation has taught us is that the best jobs program is…drum roll please…a job.
The most immediate benefit to the community of Wal-Mart being a for profit entity is that people get to work. Single moms, doubtless women of color, get to buy prescription drugs for their children far, far cheaper than they would have heretofore been able to do.
Since modern American Liberals occupy a universe where results don’t count, where policy is judged on its intentions, where the horizon can be reached as soon as good men, men filled with good will, come together and strive for it, the same lesson must be retaught and relearned over and over again.
Wal-Mart’s goal is not to rebuild downtown Newark. Its job is to protect and increase the security and equity of its creditors and shareholders. It’s what makes the dog hunt. By so doing, its invisible hand reaches out and helps everyone. If History is our guide the only way that the Central Ward of Newark can have a Summer of Recovery is if you allow the big guy from Bentonville to come in and work his magic.
[I can’t let your reference to “It’s a Wonderful Life” pass without it being poleaxed. I am the founder and director of the fast growing “Let the River Trolls Tear George Bailey Apart the Next Time He Jumps Off the Friggin’ Bridge Project”. Care to join?]
2 things of note:
#1 – Newark Mayor Corey Booker went on the Food Stamp Diet. The purpose of that is…is….what the Hell is the purpose of this? How many jobs will be “created” by him not eating? Wouldn’t Mrs. Obama be pleased if Food Stamp users were not able to buy high sodium food? Ice cream is a no-no. We know that sodas ain’t good for you either. Let him spend a week on tofu, granola, yogurt, groats, and boiled endives
#2 – The NJ legislature is debating raising the minimum wage. Forget about $ 9 an hour. How about $32.50 an hour? Let “them” get a taste of the good life.
Sometimes I miss Jersey. Particularly Bayonne.
Kevin Smith
Tom Moran
The Star Ledger
Star Ledger Plaza
Newark, NJ 07102-1200
RE: Wal-Mart – Let it become anathema but not before it builds a big store in Newark and “creates” a lot of jobs. Some comments on your column in today’s Star Ledger about the ethical tradeoffs of modern life.
Mr. Moran,
Such is your devotion to Mom-and-Pop retail stores that your hand would fall off before you would buy a book from Amazon, right? In fact, any Internet purchase would be verboten, right?
6 years ago 3 prescriptions cost me $95.00 a month. Then, and Allah Bless them, Wal-Mart sold them to me for $6.00 a month. Should I have continued to pay $95.00 a month to help Mom-and-Pop, AKA the local drug store, secure their golden years? Should I have sent the difference to the Fund to Repair the Hole in the Ozone Layer? How about the Committee to Undrown Polar Bears? What about sending some $ to Fight Teenage Obesity? If great minds can’t agree on what to do with this “windfall income” there is always the option of throwing it from the back of a moving train, it being my money, right?
I got to the part of your article about the possibility of a company other than Wal-Mart – “different retailer” is your term – building a store on the Springfield Avenue in the Central ward of Newark. The possibility always exists that all things are possibly possible, isn’t that what the Imam says?
I’ll try to break this gently.
Whatever happens to the space on Springfield Avenue you can rest assured that Nordstrom’s will not be there. Also, Whole Foods and Tiffany’s will not be there. Perhaps the Detroit Pawn Shop that is now a big TV reality show might like to expand eastward. Who knows? One thing is certain. The Short Hills Mall will not be opening an outlet mall there.
One thing the last 50 years of half-assed social policy implementation has taught us is that the best jobs program is…drum roll please…a job.
The most immediate benefit to the community of Wal-Mart being a for profit entity is that people get to work. Single moms, doubtless women of color, get to buy prescription drugs for their children far, far cheaper than they would have heretofore been able to do.
Since modern American Liberals occupy a universe where results don’t count, where policy is judged on its intentions, where the horizon can be reached as soon as good men, men filled with good will, come together and strive for it, the same lesson must be retaught and relearned over and over again.
Wal-Mart’s goal is not to rebuild downtown Newark. Its job is to protect and increase the security and equity of its creditors and shareholders. It’s what makes the dog hunt. By so doing, its invisible hand reaches out and helps everyone. If History is our guide the only way that the Central Ward of Newark can have a Summer of Recovery is if you allow the big guy from Bentonville to come in and work his magic.
[I can’t let your reference to “It’s a Wonderful Life” pass without it being poleaxed. I am the founder and director of the fast growing “Let the River Trolls Tear George Bailey Apart the Next Time He Jumps Off the Friggin’ Bridge Project”. Care to join?]
2 things of note:
#1 – Newark Mayor Corey Booker went on the Food Stamp Diet. The purpose of that is…is….what the Hell is the purpose of this? How many jobs will be “created” by him not eating? Wouldn’t Mrs. Obama be pleased if Food Stamp users were not able to buy high sodium food? Ice cream is a no-no. We know that sodas ain’t good for you either. Let him spend a week on tofu, granola, yogurt, groats, and boiled endives
#2 – The NJ legislature is debating raising the minimum wage. Forget about $ 9 an hour. How about $32.50 an hour? Let “them” get a taste of the good life.
Sometimes I miss Jersey. Particularly Bayonne.
Kevin Smith
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Tamarac Vice Mayor Michelle Gomez
December 1, 2012
Tamarac Vice Mayor Michelle Gomez
7525 NW 88th Street
Tamarac, FL 33321
Madame Vice Mayor,
I saw a headline this AM from the U.K. Daily Mail. It said, in its entirety
“Man who grew up in foster care discovers his long-lost
Mother is world record holding bearded lady.”
At the risk of being culturally arrogant I said that this country could top that. It took me but a few minutes to find the first contender. From Page 2B of today’s Sun Sentinel, in a story about coyotes setting up shop in Tamarac comes the following:
“But Tamarac Vice Mayor Michelle Gomez said there’s little
people can do beyond discouraging coyotes from entering
yards. “They are animals we have to coexist with,” she said.
“We have to learn to live with them and be responsible for our pets.”
God’s Holy Trousers! Stuff like that, coming from what would normally be a responsible adult, just quickens the arrival of the Mayan Calendar Day of Destruction.
To Hell with coyotes. How about wolves? How about cougars? How about friggin’ lions? Cape buffalos have always been a favorite of mine. The sure would spice up Earth Day, wouldn’t they?
Logic, that cruel mistress, demands that learning to live with them dictates that Tamarac makes allowances for 16 foot Burmese pythons and 1200 pound bull gators be allowed to do the inter-species horizontal tango free from human intrusion.
I know where I can get a 12 foot Queen cobra that is filled with soon to be delivered eggs. If you could get a descendant of the original Riki-Tiki-Tavi we could have a teachable moment for the kids to take part in. Perhaps a few show and tell sessions with Tasmanian Devils might be interesting.
Since we know that polar bears are drowning why not bring a few of them to Tamarac? I would prefer a Kodiak bear but the only salmon we have here is in delis. Maybe the polar bears will think that manatees will taste just like those yummy baby seals.
Tamarac yields to no one in its devotion to Gaia. Perhaps a lesson to be learned here is that we should bring back literacy tests, not for voters but for those running.
Alas, “stones are hard, water is wet”. Thus, the real world intrudes.
Accordingly, I bestow on you the coveted title of
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
Wear you honors proudly. No Affirmative Action here. You got it the old fashioned way. You earned it, you boob.
Kevin Smith
PS – Do you have a beard?
Tamarac Vice Mayor Michelle Gomez
7525 NW 88th Street
Tamarac, FL 33321
Madame Vice Mayor,
I saw a headline this AM from the U.K. Daily Mail. It said, in its entirety
“Man who grew up in foster care discovers his long-lost
Mother is world record holding bearded lady.”
At the risk of being culturally arrogant I said that this country could top that. It took me but a few minutes to find the first contender. From Page 2B of today’s Sun Sentinel, in a story about coyotes setting up shop in Tamarac comes the following:
“But Tamarac Vice Mayor Michelle Gomez said there’s little
people can do beyond discouraging coyotes from entering
yards. “They are animals we have to coexist with,” she said.
“We have to learn to live with them and be responsible for our pets.”
God’s Holy Trousers! Stuff like that, coming from what would normally be a responsible adult, just quickens the arrival of the Mayan Calendar Day of Destruction.
To Hell with coyotes. How about wolves? How about cougars? How about friggin’ lions? Cape buffalos have always been a favorite of mine. The sure would spice up Earth Day, wouldn’t they?
Logic, that cruel mistress, demands that learning to live with them dictates that Tamarac makes allowances for 16 foot Burmese pythons and 1200 pound bull gators be allowed to do the inter-species horizontal tango free from human intrusion.
I know where I can get a 12 foot Queen cobra that is filled with soon to be delivered eggs. If you could get a descendant of the original Riki-Tiki-Tavi we could have a teachable moment for the kids to take part in. Perhaps a few show and tell sessions with Tasmanian Devils might be interesting.
Since we know that polar bears are drowning why not bring a few of them to Tamarac? I would prefer a Kodiak bear but the only salmon we have here is in delis. Maybe the polar bears will think that manatees will taste just like those yummy baby seals.
Tamarac yields to no one in its devotion to Gaia. Perhaps a lesson to be learned here is that we should bring back literacy tests, not for voters but for those running.
Alas, “stones are hard, water is wet”. Thus, the real world intrudes.
Accordingly, I bestow on you the coveted title of
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
Wear you honors proudly. No Affirmative Action here. You got it the old fashioned way. You earned it, you boob.
Kevin Smith
PS – Do you have a beard?
Mayor Frank C. Ortis
November 27, 2012
Mayor Frank C. Ortis
10100 Pines Boulevard
Pembroke Pines, FL 33026
RE: Cell phones cause cancer, frogs cause warts, and every time I think the gene pool can’t get any lower I am shocked, shocked when it does.
Mr. Mayor,
Back before plaid became the favorite color of modern American Liberals, particularly those who engaged in the quasi-profession of education, people learned that correlation is not causation.
I am going to type verrrrrry, verrrrry slowly, it being the first time you have come face to face with Logic, one of the wonders of the ancient world. I’ll try to be gentle.
Jimmy Gonzales having headaches does not mean that his cell phone caused him to have cranial tumors. What caused my cranial tumors, the surgeon used the word “aggressive”, was and is known. The villain of the piece was/is….drum roll, please…. the sun.
Would not fairness dictate that Pembroke Pines ban all daytime activity, particularly for fair skinned males of northern European extraction?
I am sure you remember when the overwhelming consensus of scientific opinion [“overwhelming consensus of scientific opinion”? Where have we heard that before? You’re right. Global Warming] was that tomatoes were poisonous. Since I can find no evidence that they aren’t I suggest that, strictly as a precautionary measure, Pembroke Pines bans the consumption of pizza. As you so eloquently say “a lot of scientific data has to be done with…”
I am not quite sure what in Allah’s name you mean by that but I am absolutely, positively certain that it sounds like bullshit to me. Accordingly, as keeper of the keys and seals of the 3 most important awards in Christendom, I name you, Frank Ortis
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
Forget about literacy tests for the voters. We need to impose retroactive ones on all elected officials.
Some of the questions would be what color is an orange. Then, how do you spell TV. The tie breaker would be can you find your ass using both hands. Am I going too fast for you?
Here’s a thought for what you can give Pembroke Pines for a non-denominational holiday gift.
Think vasectomy.
Kevin Smith
PS – Next week we will study whether Ptolemy got a raw deal
Mayor Frank C. Ortis
10100 Pines Boulevard
Pembroke Pines, FL 33026
RE: Cell phones cause cancer, frogs cause warts, and every time I think the gene pool can’t get any lower I am shocked, shocked when it does.
Mr. Mayor,
Back before plaid became the favorite color of modern American Liberals, particularly those who engaged in the quasi-profession of education, people learned that correlation is not causation.
I am going to type verrrrrry, verrrrry slowly, it being the first time you have come face to face with Logic, one of the wonders of the ancient world. I’ll try to be gentle.
Jimmy Gonzales having headaches does not mean that his cell phone caused him to have cranial tumors. What caused my cranial tumors, the surgeon used the word “aggressive”, was and is known. The villain of the piece was/is….drum roll, please…. the sun.
Would not fairness dictate that Pembroke Pines ban all daytime activity, particularly for fair skinned males of northern European extraction?
I am sure you remember when the overwhelming consensus of scientific opinion [“overwhelming consensus of scientific opinion”? Where have we heard that before? You’re right. Global Warming] was that tomatoes were poisonous. Since I can find no evidence that they aren’t I suggest that, strictly as a precautionary measure, Pembroke Pines bans the consumption of pizza. As you so eloquently say “a lot of scientific data has to be done with…”
I am not quite sure what in Allah’s name you mean by that but I am absolutely, positively certain that it sounds like bullshit to me. Accordingly, as keeper of the keys and seals of the 3 most important awards in Christendom, I name you, Frank Ortis
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
Forget about literacy tests for the voters. We need to impose retroactive ones on all elected officials.
Some of the questions would be what color is an orange. Then, how do you spell TV. The tie breaker would be can you find your ass using both hands. Am I going too fast for you?
Here’s a thought for what you can give Pembroke Pines for a non-denominational holiday gift.
Think vasectomy.
Kevin Smith
PS – Next week we will study whether Ptolemy got a raw deal
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)