Tuesday, December 31, 2013

December 30, 2013

Isn’t it time to free Sirhan Sirhan? He has been locked up longer than Nelson Mandela. Plus, he only killed one guy. Plus, the WOGs will love us if we give him a bag of goodies to bring home for Ramadimdamdum.
I love Uncle Si but God Bless Phil Robertson.
Speaking of anuses, the complete record of my last colonoscopy is available for a small handling charge. The first sentence, “The probe entered the anus easily”, says it all and it’s downhill from there. For an additional charge a color photo of my bladder is available. Also available for separate P & H are photos of my post auricular malignant tumor and its removal thereof, my transesophogeal ecocardiogram, my left hip replacement, my right hip replacement, my right knee replacement, and coming soon, my left eye surgeries. [These are suitable for framing – autographs are extra]
Speaking of American football, anyone saying “true freshman” or, worse, “the Granddaddy of them all”, should be waterboarded.
Isn’t it time for a new Solyndra? This time give it the money and support it deserves. After all, it’s for the children, isn’t it?
There is a rumor that George Bailey Was flung from the Bayonne Bridge and devoured by the trolls living under it. Will someone from Bayonne please confirm or deny?
How can feral Muslim thugs murder Christians wherever sharia law prevails with Prince Charles being the only public person condemning it? 14 centuries after this bastardized religion of perverted peace, founded by a goat humping paedophile, was foisted upon the world why do we sit idly by when they blow up our buildings and mutilate their women? When was the last time a Muslim man was stoned for adultery?
These are people who have outlawed whistling and balloons. Every time they see a 2500 year old statue of Buddha they blow it up. They think it is their duty to fillet people who draw cartoons that they don’t like. Their solution to teenage girls using nail polish is to pull their finger nails out. And then they cut their G-spots out with the bottom of a Coke bottle.
Damn them. They are a pox on civilization.
Dante, Michelangelo, Shakespeare, Mozart, Beethoven, Madison, Einstein, Edison, the Wright Brothers, Kipling, Bobby Jones, Walt Disney, Rodgers & Hart, Ted Williams, Leslie Groves, Churchill, Kemmons Wilson, Kelly Johnson, Jonas Salk, Orville Redenbacher, Frank Perdue, Neal Armstrong, George Carlin, Norman Bourlag, Grove, Gates, & Jobs …Where and who are the Islamic equivalents?
The answer is simple.
They are nowhere to be found because there aren’t any, there weren’t any, and there won’t be any.
They should be trusted as much as one would trust a pack of rabid wolverines led by a pack of IRS collection agents behind on their seizures.
Too bad Hitler never really knew them.
The only complaint about Curley Biden is that he has raised the bar for being a public horse’s ass so high that it will take decades for a contender to emerge. He has made it impossible for any self-respecting ohmadahn to hold her head high.
The market has spoken! Hackle raising is back!
I will plant hackles fence post to fence post, such is the demand. As always, caution is advised. Do not operate heavy machinery or handle sharp instruments when using hackles for personal consumption.
Also, I will organically cultivate non-genetically modified glutens for personal use. I guarantee that only ca-ca from free range chickens, chickens who have never had hormone shots, chickens who have never smoked, chickens who mate with barbed wire, chickens who have daily rosemary and/or tarragon body rubs, will be used for fertilization. .
Having dug ditches in 3 countries I can assure that the first thing you do when you find out that you are digging in the wrong place is to….stop digging. Honest. Perhaps the kamikaze guardians of ObomboCare should take note.
Speaking of President B.O. will 2014 be the year he stops blaming George Bush for everything, including polar bear drowning, twerking, rising interest rates, teenage obesity, White Hispanic random killings of wanabee 3rd Worlders, the continuing heartbreak of psoriasis, the growing presence of “creepy-assed crackers”, inter alia. Is there no end to the woes that he has caused?
There is one thing he might think about copying however. Both of George Bush’s daughters went to public high school.
It is the last weekend of the regular season NFL. Wherever Pete Rozelle is he is smiling. In addition to every team in the league being eligible for the playoffs a 3 team death match will be held on New Year’s Eve. The Chicago Cardinals, the Los Angeles Rams, and the Baltimore Colts will play until someone dies. The two teams with no mortalities will then play a special wild card game with no referees. The winner will be the last team to come to the scratch line.
Since we are well into a “jobless recovery” might it not be time to bring back Michael Milken? How about giving Ken Langone a free hand for 18 months?
I am declaring war on John Podesta. He is a nasty shit who took a lot of beatings in high school, thus his “snarky” smarminess. I add that he earned all those between classes thumpings. I will kick his ass so hard he will have to take his socks down to take a dump.
Yearend kudos to Hillary R. Clinton
I just found out that when she was named to the board of a struggling, non-organic, Arkansas-based yogurt company the first thing she did was to change its name. It was called The Country’s Almost OK Yogurt of TCAOKY. She made it morph into TCBY, “The Country’s Best Yogurt. Do you think the fact that her husband, Handsome Billy from Hot Springs, was the Governor of Arkansas had anything to do with her getting the job?
Who could have predicted how bad, how evil, how pernicious, how mean spirited, how exploitative of poor folk, [by the dastardly device of lowering prices] and early devoted disciples of Duck Dynasty Wal-Mart would become when she left its Board?
For 8 centuries the Roman Catholic Church has been the home of many Mendicant orders. If it weren’t for the conspicuously consuming 1%ers they would have all starved 800 years ago.
I read this morning of the death of Harold Simmons, a little known Texas billionaire. [Ponder the twists of the phrase “a little known Texas billionaire”] I was able to tally almost $700,000,000 that he gave away as in “Since I like what you do take my money and do with it what you please”. Please refer to the previous paragraph.
It’s OK if you think me a misogynist but all – no exceptions, none – female side line commentators in college and the NFL should be fired. They are universally terrible. When one of them makes a less than imbecilic statement it is wise to remember the great Dr. Johnson who compared a woman preaching to a dog walking on its hind legs. “It is not a question of how well she does it but, rather, why does she do it all.”
The only possible explanation for them being there is that if a man were to ask a coach whose team is getting their collective asses kicked what his favorite color is as he tries to get to the locker room he would get a beating while the chick wouldn’t.
Send them all home with the thanks of a grateful nation. Give them all a copy of Grammy’s great meat loaf recipe. Tell them to practice their ironing skills.
I declare war on John Podesta. As a smarmy bastard he is justifiably proud of his “snarkiness” You can tell that he took a lot of beatings in high school. And, may I add, they were all well deserved. I will kick his ass so hard that he will have to take down his socks to take a dump. Stay tuned. No more Mr. Nice Guy.
Isn’t it time that solipsistic White First-Worlders, all of whom need to have the fuzzy good feeling caused when you help the environment at somebody else’s expense, allowed the licensing of DDT for sub-Saharan African nations? Even if it killed Peregrine falcons, which it did not, 2,000,000 Black babies die each year, every year, from malaria. Listen up Al & Jessie. If that ain’t genocide I don’t know what is. If White babies in Malibu or Short Hills or the upper West side of Manhattan were dying at the same rate C-130 guns ships would spray DDT to a depth of 18 inches every sundown. And, yes, I have seen a non-White infant die from malaria.
I read today of the death of Medal of Honor winner Corporal Rudy Hernandez. Where do we find such men? God willing they will be there when we need them again. And yes, Virginia, we will need them again.
The best NBA team ever was the 1983 Warriors. The best NFL team ever was the 1986 Bears. Was it a coincidence that they both played when the Great Reagan was President? I don’t think so.
Don’t see the new Walter Mitty movie unless the words topakata, topakata, topakata bring a sly grin to your face. [Thinking of you, Fat Jack]
It’s a race to see if my tuchis or cojones will freeze first. So much for that Global Warming clap-trap.
My Texas ladies are growing up far too quickly.


Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET























Friday, December 27, 2013

December 22, 2013
Letter to the Editor
The Dallas Morning News
Box 655237
Dallas, TX 75265

RE: General Nathan Bedford Forest and the difficulty of retroactive punishment, particularly when said punishment is “eclectically indignant” – Some comments on your editorial of 12/21/13 agreeing with the name change at Nathan Bedford Forest High School in Jacksonville, FL.

Sirs,

Assuming that the massacre of “black Union troops at the siege of Ft. Pillow” was one of “the most ghastly episodes in the nation’s brutal Civil War” – Shiloh, Antietam, The Wheat Field, Sheridan’s jaunt through the Shenandoah, Fredericksburg, the Wilderness, inter alia, can contend for the “ghastly” title – we are faced with the unenviable task of applying today’s standards, a term that no longer means what it is supposed to, there being a general disregard for the “permanent things”, to yesterday’s actions.

“LOUSY YELLOW RAT MONKEY BASTARDS”

There was a certain euphony to the above phase, particularly when Admiral William F. Halsey – a quintessential “Jersey” guy – used it to describe the Japanese during the unpleasantness of 1941 to 1945.

The people of New Jersey gave him one of its highest honors when it named Turnpike Exit 13 after him.

Should drivers of Japanese cars be given a 50% discount? Should Japanese drivers be allowed to exit toll free? Should Japanese drivers of Japanese cars be given free passage plus 50% of the toll that they didn’t pay? Can these rights be part of one’s estate? Can they be sold? [Let it be known that Coach Vince Lombardi’s name adorns a full service truck stop on the same turnpike.]

The USS Tarawa [LHA-1] is an amphibious assault ship that is fast and nasty. It is designed to kill people and break things. It is named after the battle of Tarawa, a Marine invasion that had 2 remarkable occurrences. #1 – The first day was a monumental military clusterfuck for the Marines. #2 – The battle ended on the 3rd day. There were no, as in zero, zip, nada, Japanese prisoners.

How about renaming the ship the USS Kumbaya as a sign of our commitment to international anger management and racial reconciliation?

The USS Stennis [CVN74] and the Richard Russell Senate Office Building were named after 2 men who were patriots and strong supporters of the military. They shared one other thing in common.

They dedicated their entire adult lives to keeping little Black boys from going to school with little White girls.

Perhaps we should re-name the carrier the USS Mandela.

I leave the renaming of the office building to others with the sincere hope that Harrison Williams and Robert Torricelli, 2 more “Jersey” guys, be given due consideration.

When George Washington executed soldiers for desertion or insubordination he assigned the “ghastly” task to men who either served with or knew the executees very well.

Is it too late to re-name the monument?

Abraham Lincoln suspended the 4th Amendment – Sounds familiar but at least he had a war going on – and arrested a sitting member of Congress for opposing him.

What in the name of head up your ass Political Correctness are we to do with him?

He wasn’t “yellow” but the Democratic Party, the pro-slavery party in 1864, and the New York Times, its bum kissing lackey, regularly referred to him as a “monkey”. Perhaps we can borrow from Admiral Halsey.

Things get curiouser and curiouser, don’t they?

It is always easier if you adhere to one of the great traditions of modern American Liberalism and never let facts interfere with your already formed conclusion.

Speaking of “ghastly situations”, Black women – 6% of the population - have had 38% of the abortions performed in this country since 1973. Then again, all genocides are “ghastly”, regardless of the color of the victim. Could Black abortions be an example of, forgive me, Affirmative Action overkill?

What are we to do with Senator Robert Byrd [D-WV]? He was Deputy Vice Kleagle [in charge of recruiting] of the Christian Sons of the Ku Klux Klan. As President Pro Tem of the Senate he was 2nd in line to be the President of the United States. He was not a rotter like Duck Dynasty homophobe Phil Robertson but he used to wear sheets and burn crosses. That should count for something, shouldn’t it?

It is a small thing, no bigger than a man’s fist held against the horizon, but Senator Robert Kennedy, he who fell to a bullet fired by a Muslim terrorist, began his working career in Washington, DC as an aide to Senator McCarthy. [His father helped him get the job.] Not Clean Gene from Minnesota but Tail Gunner Joe from Wisconsin.

Nothing could be more “ghastly” to the ohmadahns who make up the shock troops of modern American Liberalism. They are well on their way to airbrushing – Politburo style – that turd in the punch bowl out of his official entry in the hagiography of “Yes, We Can” progressive History.

The History of winners killing losers, ghastly or not, has a long trail. From Caesar to Cromwell to Stalin to Pol Pot to the bug-eyed thugs in Africa we find a butcher’s bill that is always stamped “paid”.

It is my sad duty to tell you that you didn’t discover it. There was only room for one Cortez “high on a hill in Darien”.

Remember too that, “after the first death there are no other”.

Merry Christmas!




Kevin Smith

Thursday, December 26, 2013

“Nobody asked me but…
Will ObombCare cover cliteroidectomies for infidels?
Will someone please steal my identity?
I’m Pro-Life. Are you Pro-Death?
Whatever happened to steak tartare?
Doesn’t Anthony Weiner make Charles Krauthammer look like Brad Pitt?
Where have all the payphones gone?
Jesse Dirkhising? – Rest in Peace
Thank God for Wal-Mart. Period.
Jack Lambert and Ronnie Lott couldn’t play in today’s NFL
There are too many “fargin’ arseholes” on the road of life.
James Madison & George Mason
Kermit Gosnell, M.D. earned his one way ticket to Hell.
Seen any Samsonite luggage lately?
WWRD? What would Reagan do?
Arguably & Inarguably – Synonyms, right?
Thank God for Charles Martel! - West 1 / WOGs nil
God Bless John Wayne!
All the great wounds are self-inflicted
Churchill
Let the polar bears fend for themselves
Global Warming/Global Cooling = bullshit
Kipling, Eliot, Yeats
“It was said he could keep Christmas well if any man alive knew how to”
Merry Christmas…especially to Jimmy Cannon

Kevin Smith


Friday, December 20, 2013

December 16, 2013
Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
Democratic National Committee
430 S. Capitol Street
Washington, DC 20003

RE: You never let me down – some comments on your usual bilious statement about Governor Scott in this morning’s Sun Sentinel

My dear Little Debbie,

I opened today’s Sun Sentinel to find an early serendipitous Christmas present.

This is no way to run a state. If three top employees
of a major corporation had been forced to resign
by scandals, that company’s CEO would be fired.”‘
The Sun Sentinel
Today
You

To modern American Liberals, and let me say that you are the poster chick, the paradigmatic template if you will, of same, facts are inconvenient things. Whatever else they are they must never be allowed to interfere with your perpetually fallacious arguments.


Let me reconstruct your analogy.

President B.O. is the CEO of a very large company.

Hillary R. Clinton was Secretary of State when four of her employees at the branch office in Benghazi were murdered. She promised the families of the slain men, as she stood over the bodies, that she would “get” the alleged perpetrators.

It seemed like she was having a Ricky Ray rector flashback moment.

[You remember Ricky Ray, don’t you? He was the feral Black man with the IQ of an eggplant whose lap she sat on to take his mind off his upcoming electrocution. She wasn’t doing an early version of the Ozark twerk. She was keeping his mind off the coming 20,000 volts that was going to turn him into a fresh corn dog. She would sacrifice anybody to prove her husband was as tough on crime as he was on interns.]

She wasn’t.

A lie of noxiously monstrous proportions, that the killings occurred because of an American produced anti-Allah video, was supported and spread by everyone in Washington save the Honor Guard at Arlington, Robert Griffin lll, and anybody with a sense of History.

She left her job with her bum kissed as smooth as ice by her sycophantic servy boys [and gals] in the media so that she could run for Queen Empress Pope in 2016.

Attorney General Eric Holder, a man left holding the bag in the wake of the last minute Clinton pardons – did Hillary’s brother keep the money he got for selling them? – a man who thought 3 feral Black men wielding cudgels threatening White voters was not a hate crime, a man who was in charge of Operation Fast & Furious when a Federal law enforcement officer was gunned down, is made of Teflon.

He invoked the Sgt. Schultz defense.

“I know nothing.”

“Nobody knows nothing.”

“Nothing happened here. Move on.”

It worked. I’ll say this for modern American Liberals. They take care of their own. No offense is too great and no defense is too far-fetched but that all is forgotten and forgiven.

It took the Hindenburg 90 seconds to go down.

The Titanic sunk in less than 3 hours.

Kathleen Sibelius presides over a steroid-laden Chernobyl scale train wreck that will make 9/11 look like a day at the beach.

Beyond plaid being her favorite color she is a particularly bitchy shrew who couldn’t lie straight in bed.

The health care chaos coming soon after the Rose Bowl ends, a chaos that was/is self-inflicted, will make the Civil war draft riots resemble a Kumbaya out-reach Hootenanny.

In the ideal modern American Liberal world, a world that is predicated on finding, reaching, and crossing the horizon, life is a scoreless tie. There are only victims. Victims are caused by villains.

Modern American Liberals believe that villains, a scurrilous gang of rotters who are elders in the Church of Bush/Nixon, can be legislated out of existence. Until that blessed day arrives they must regulated like the way an anaconda regulates a 3 legged fawn.
I have 2 questions before I go.

#1 – Whatever happened to Midnight Basketball?

#2 – Has anyone figured out whether you or the Israeli Ambassador lied?

Get back to me. Please, please don’t send the cops.






Kevin Smith
December 19, 2013
When Pericles spoke people said “How well he speaks”.
When Demosthenes spoke people said
“LET US MARCH”

A short History of Rhetoric – not Sophistry - as political speech is enclosed.

Free men speak with free tongues.
The whole earth is the sepulchre of famous men.
We few, we happy few…
Give me liberty or give me death.
Congress shall make no law…
Four score and seven years ago…
Never has so much been owed by so many to so few.
A date that will live in infamy.
We will pay any price, bear any burden…
The eagle has landed.
Tear down this Wall.

25 centuries. Inspire. Arouse. Agitate. It is true that Ideas Have Consequence but someone must give voice to them. “God wills it” and “I will not recant” turned the Western world upside down.

Comes now Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi, nee D’Alessandro of the odiously corrupt Baltimore D’Alessandro’s, and former Speaker of the House

Whatever else she may be there are 2 undeniable facts:

For 2 years she was 2 steps away from being President of the United States and she is the poster girl for septuagenarian shrews. We outlawed Bills of Attainder in 1789. If we hadn’t her father would be disinterred every year for a flogging to atone for a civic corruption so foul its stench covers 2 centuries. She would have an afternoon of the strapado prior to having a scarlet C branded on her forehead. She would then be sent to a French Knocking Shoppe run by Somali pirates.

“Embrace the suck”

She chose those words to rally support for an unpopular budget bill. In a building where giants have thundered, in a building where free people have governed themselves successfully for 2 centuries, our political language and its supporting culture have descended to the obscene.

She is this year’s example of a “Trousered Ape”.

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET








Monday, December 9, 2013

December 8, 2013
Carl Hiaasen
The Miami Herald
3511 NW 91st Street
Miami, FL 33172

RE: If voting is good shouldn’t we have more of it? – Some comments on your eclectic take in today’s Miami Herald on evil Republicans wanting to bring back literacy tests, the poll tax, and shades of Hitler, photo IDs.

Mr. Hiaasen,

Rhetoric gone astray leads us to Sophistry. Tu quoque is one of the rites of passage.

Of course, and it goes without saying which is why it must be said, that Governor Scott is a racist, homophobic, Climate Change denier who wants to suppress voting, generally by the undeserving poor, the vast majority of whom are non-Gringos, and particularly by some who may have a felony conviction or two on their CVs.

After all, he IS a Republican. How could he do elsewise?

[Thank God She invented tautologies. How else would we know he is evil? It sure as Hell beats thinking.]]

Permit me to bring you up to date on some past voting perfidy.

In 1916 the Hudson County [NJ] Democratic Party claimed ROW A ALL the WAY as its exclusive property. It was held by them until 1978. [They also invented “bullet voting” but that’s a Democratic voting practice of a different color.]

Both the odds and the statistical probabilities of the Hudson Democratic Party getting that coveted slot for 62 consecutive years are incalculable. Swine will turn themselves into pulled pork sandwiches before that happens.

The only other winning streak comparable is the Israeli Air Force versus the WOG Air Force. Turkey Shoot 1, Turkey Shoot 2, Turkey Shoot 3, and Turkey Shoot 4 are now available in a boxed set.

I had an uncle whose devotion to the Democratic Party in Hudson was such that he voted until 1971. That he had died in 1956 proved to be no impediment to him in fulfilling his “Row A All the Way” sacred duty.

A Republican Judge, and therefore an anti-Democratic churl and really mean guy, stopped him from doing his annual incubus 2 step to the voting booth.

What lessons can we learn from the Democratic Primary in West Virginia in 1960 and the general election vote count in Cook County in the same year?

“Just buy me enough votes to win. I’m not paying for a landslide” or so that old corsair Papa Joe was supposed to have told his Teamster thugs in West Virginia. He got his money’s worth.

As to the midnight recount in Cook County the lesson is simple: Keep counting until you get the number you need.

The elections of Ron Wyden and Al Frank to the Senate were likewise compromised. No big deal. It was done for a greater truth, wasn’t it?

After Miriam Oliphant – and if there is a dumber woman in public life in Broward County I demand that she be jumped to #1 on the Monday morning line for tubal ligations – was elected Supervisor of Elections my sense of Historical electoral mirth got the better of me.

[A word in her defense is due. Politicians always get jobs for their friends and loved ones. While it is not unusual for a political hack to come to work late and then get drunk her boy-toy got drunk and then came to work late. There is a certain clarity there that is missing in much of public life. Besides, the Great Dr. Johnson told us that “It is impossible to criticize unresisting imbecility”. Alas, the imbeciles here are the fully documented voters of Broward County. The thought of a modern American Liberal voting against a woman of color even if said woman could and did get lost on a ladder was, is, and shall be verboten.]

In addition to my valid voter ID I applied for, and got, 5 additional voter IDs. Since I am comfortably on the back nine of life I have decided that all future felonies will be major ones I believe that “it is better to be hung for 3 sheep rather than 1 goat”. I did not exercise my suffrage rights, even though they were hard earned.

It took me 1 hour and 47 minutes to vote against the Dear Leader in November, 2012.

I am handicapped; it was a hot day, the poll workers were, how to be charitable, not on the short list for Mensa. I am not feeling particularly charitable this morning. They were as dumb as a box of hammers. A big box of heavy hammers.

I had to show a photo ID.

What do the above incidents prove?

You’re right.

Nothing.

They can be fondled or manipulated to fit any goal, predetermined or not.

Did you know that CVS requires a photo ID to buy nail polish remover?

The only other entity that is concerned with nail polish is the Taliban. When those burnoosed merry pranksters catch a teenaged girl in Kafiristan with nail polish on they remove it with a pair of pliers. That solves the problem of photo IDs once and for all.

Do I have time to discuss cliteroidectomies?

Would it be “culturally arrogant” of me to suggest that that is a no-no?

You say Republicans are bastards. I say that it is the Logical end of modern American Liberalism.

I would have thought that the inventor of “frozen lizards” would have had more sense.

Silly me.

I used to hope that that would change.

Like I said, Silly Me!




Kevin Smith
December 8, 2013
Stevie L. Goldstein
The Sun Sentinel

RE: Scrooge! Come back. This time no more Mr. Nice Guy!

My dear Professor,

It being Advent, and since I am in perpetual need of God’s Amazing Grace, I always try to keep my sharp elbows and sharper pen in check. My life’s work, chastising insufferable boobs, particularly those with incurable “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”, is curtailed.

But then I read your unlinkable column about the Pope and my duty was as clear as a Tanqueray martini, straight up.

It was bastinado time.

I read more about Martin Bashir, your ideological lanschman.

Since it is now acceptable in modern American Liberal circles to say that it is OK to take a dump in Governor Palin’s mouth while getting ready to pee in her eyes I figured the least I could do was to comment about your column about the Pope.

Although it does not fall under the purview of Papal infallibility one of the Baby Jesus’s greatest gifts to his followers was his countenancing the birth of one word.

That word is

BULLSHIT

In this matter I speak ex cathedra.

Merry Christmas or a secular humanist non-denominational Season’s Greetings. Your choice.




Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET




Wednesday, December 4, 2013

December 4, 2013
Leonard Pitts, Jr.
The Miami Herald

RE: “Mater si, Magistra no” – Some comments on your column today about the unfairness of the market and how a few good men can smooth the edges plus maybe save everybody’s soul.

Mr. Pitts,

“Martin Luther King, for instance, mused that “there
must be a better distribution of wealth and maybe
America must move toward a democratic socialism.”
Today
You

Denying the major premise is the Rhetorictician’s first response.

School is open.

Is the “wealth” that King speaks of hidden away in a jealously guarded lock box?
Do the 1%ers hire poor people to guard it? Will there be a magic moment when a Democratic Socialist, doubtless a man known for his “fairness”, a trait learned while he was a novice at the church of Community Activism, comes to insert his key, a key tinged with compassion, arrives, accompanied by grateful hordes, to do an Act 2 on the parable of the loaves and fishes?

Samuel Gompers, he of the Labor Hall of Fame, would send one word telegrams to any union locals engaged in contract talks. “More” was his only message. He knew if the man who signed the paychecks had “more” his men would get “more”. He knew that there was no evidence of anyone, anytime, anywhere being hired by a man poorer than himself.

I remember my father’s Oldsmobile. He traded it in for a Hudson. My uncle had a DeSoto. I had a Thunderbird with an 8 track stereo. I never had a Betamax. Thank God for Kansas. Without it Russia would have starved. When India stopped exporting surgeons and importing cement plants they began to prosper. Los hermanos Castro have had the same 3 problems for more than 50 years: #1 – Breakfast. #2 – Lunch. #3 – Dinner. There will soon be more Venezuelans in Broward County than in Caracas. Cash for Clunkers. The Blue Eagle. A “fair” wage. A “fair” price. Rainbow stew. Balloon Juice. Oz. Canute. Happy Days Are Here Again. Venezuela: no toilet paper, no electricity. At least you won’t be able to see yourself wiping your ass with your fingers.

Socialism, as Churchill said, is “like a man standing in a bucket trying to pick himself up by the handle”.

I see this morning where the Dear Leader is going to go on a country-wide tour proclaiming that – A – the rich get richer and – B – the poor get poorer. [It would be snide of me to ask where the Summers of Recovery have gone so I won’t]

His solution – Remember his campaign promise to “fundamentally change the country”? – will be some sort of Democratic Socialism. His bum-kissing lackeys in the press – Remember Chris Matthews getting a “tingle” up his leg? Remember David Brooks marveling at how sharp the crease was in candidate Obama’s slacks? Fast and Furious? The IRS and the Tea Party? Benghazi? Obmacare=FUBAR - will sigh tumescently

The tide will come in. The tide will go out. Winter may come early. Spring may be late.
A look at History shows that Socialism, be it Democratic or more typically, decidedly undemocratic, has never worked.

Only a fool or someone drowning in pseudo-intellectual hubris would dare to think otherwise.

Alas, the only way to make Democratic Socialism function – function, not work – think East Germany before the Berlin Wall came down - is through coercion.

Sign up for ObamaCare or the IRS will fine you.
If you don’t pay they will seize your property and
Put you in jail

“He has erected a multitude of new offices, and sent
hither swarms of officers, to harass our people, and
eat out their substance.”

I wrote the top one; Thomas Jefferson wrote the other.

Laws, particularly laws written by men, are genetically incapable of making poor people rich by making rich people poorer. Laws can make rich people poorer but only once unless they, the lawmakers, make brown shirts and hob-nail boots fashionable again. The thugs masquerading as modern American Liberal Democrats – Did I just repeat myself? – will trample each other to take the blood oath to the Dear Leader.

Off with their heads only works once. Ask the family of the Golden Goose.

As a Roman Catholic I certainly regard the Church as my Mother. As a teacher, no. Particularly in matters where the Pope is not speaking ex cathedra

Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

PS – I suppose the Devil can quote scripture but what exactly did you mean when you spoke of “the so-called safety net”. You say that we, as “moral people” must “allow no one to fall – particularly if their penury is through no fault of their own”. Does that mean that poor people with self-inflicted wounds leading to penury are to be treated differently? Who decides what size ladle is to be used for the undeserving poor or the deserving poor? You? Me? The Pope? You may want to take a peek at Rerum Novarum?


Tuesday, December 3, 2013

December 3, 2013
Rebecca Marques
OCEANA
P.O. Box 24361
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33307

RE: Chicken Little now says “The sea is rising, the sea is rising” – Some comments on your unlinkable Op-Ed column in this morning’s Sun Sentinel

Ms. Marques,

“As the risks of climate change become increasingly clear” negates, nay, denies 25 centuries of Western Civilization. Things like Logic, the scientific method, reasoned discourse, and “Prove it” are tossed down the memory hole like they were last year’s fashions.

45 years ago we were told that we would either freeze to death or starve to death by the end of the 20th century.

30 years ago the “consensus of science” – Science and consensus in the same sentence is an affront to the aforementioned Western Civilization – had a mid-course correction. “Never mind”, said Professor Emily Litella. The ozoneless sky, caused by the internal combustion engine, and fueled by evil Big Oil would cause the world to die from…drum roll…Global Warming.

Having survived the Cooling threat, having survived the Warming threat, we are now faced with the worst of all possible threats. Welcome to the world of Climate Change.

Would you think ill of me if I were to point out that since the last Ice Age – I am glad something caused the icebergs to melt. If they didn’t we wouldn’t be having this conversation – we have 4 changes of climate per year? You may wish to consult the noted Italian climatologist, Professor Antonio Vivaldi, to do some homework on this. In your case, a lot of homework.

You say that our only hope is windmills.

I am sure you have factored in the collateral damage – a kind of environmental “friendly fire”, if you will – of bald eagles, whooping cranes, loons, ibises, and spotted owls being Cuisinarted while they go about their business. Don’t tell the Feds that your panacea is killing endangered species. If we are to believe the 155 year old still unproven Theory of Evolution it is probably time for them to go. No big deal.

is an inconvenient truth that facts are hard, stubborn things. I live in the hope that it is not too late to change the minds of twits who worship at the altar of Ned Lud. Failing that, I regard it as my duty to proclaim across this fair land of ours that if it looks like bullshit, if it smells like bullshit we can come quickly to a scientific consensus that it is
BULLSHIT


Try to follow the bouncing ball of the energy equation.

50% of the electricity produced in this country is used to air condition our homes, our malls, and our cars. It should be obviously self-evident that the quickest and cheapest way to save our planet is to ban all air conditioning.

Think how much better we would feel if the Sun Sentinel and OCEANA were to ban all A/Cs. All of South Florida would rally to the cause. Really.

A serendipitous benefit would be the revival of the hand held fan business. Talk about a true Summer of Recovery.

I await your marching orders.




Kevin Smith
December 2, 2013
Dana Milbank
Washington Post Writers’ Group
1150 15th Street
Washington, DC 20071

RE: Turning lower case censorship by the Obama White House into a recruiting tool for the D.C. coven of ink stained modern American Liberal wretches. Some comments on your revelation of the real tragedy in Obama treating the White House press corps - or is that corpse, as in Marine Corpse or Peace Corpse? – as the ass kissing lackeys that they are.

Mr. Milbank.

It has been said that you can pick your friends, that you can pick your nose, but you shouldn’t pick your friend’s nose.

Maybe President B. O. doesn’t want to be tin-typed doing a digital proboscis probe on his new best friend.

It’s OK with me or, to paraphrase Curley Biden, the year’s poster boy for Hire the Handicapped, “It’s no big fucking deal”.

But in praising with oh so gentle chastisement in re the White House acting like a politburo apparatchik in training you have fulfilled your annual public act of obeisance to the holy church of modern American Liberalism.

“I doubt the White House is heavily doctoring photos. But
there are birther types out there accusing the White House
of superimposing Obama into places where he wasn’t.
Why give them ammunition?”
The Washington Post
You
[Italics mine]

Perhaps you could give us a tutorial on how much doctoring is allowable before we get into slippery slope territory with its concomitant chilling effect syndrome.

It’s a bit like Dan Rather saying just “Don’t worry about the facts being false. Concentrate on the story.”

There is an air of virginity about any White House, particularly in matters of freedom. “Once broken, never mended”, like the Dude, still abides. The current White House press room resembles a strip mall Motel 6 French Knocking Shoppe that demands that blame be equally divided between the pitcher and the catcher. Never were supposedly sacred things given up so willingly. With regard to the Dear Leader President you bum kissers wouldn’t say shit if you had a mouthful. [That is turned form the lips of Haji Bashir. As Mayor Emanuel still says, “Never let a bad word go to waste.”]

Instead of whining about “Nixon-like tactics” you closed you closed your eyes and issued a minor league Jeremiad about giving tea bagging, gun loving, climate change denying Tea Party churls who think that Obama blew up the World Trade Center to burn his Kenyan birth certificate ammunition.

Great job, you turd.

In fact, your work has not gone unnoticed.

I am the owner in fee and the sole grantor of the following awards:

HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK

POMPOUS FART OF THE MONTH

And the most coveted of them all…

SMARMY BASTARD OF THE YEAR

I am pleased to announce that you have won all three.

4 years of a much anticipated but never realized Summer of Recovery have reduced the prize to an all expense week end at Camp Gitmo, America’s first adult sleep away camp in the Caribbean.

The only supervised activity will be you logging on to HealthCare.Gov and volunteering to be on a Death Panel.

The spirit of Walter Duranty and Janice Cook lives in America’s press rooms.




Kevin Smith
December 2, 2013
Leonard Pitts, Jr.
The Miami Herald

Miami, FL

RE: More bad news from the “N” word front – Some comments on your article of 11/30/13 in the Miami Herald.

Mr. Pitts,

A fealty to George Orwell commands me to further define the “N” word. It is “the dreaded ‘N’ word, the word that White folk from creepy-assed crackers to heads up their asses modern American Liberals dare not use”. It is also the title of Dick Gregory’s great autobiography.

I have to tell you that despite your admonitions about not breaking ranks another Brother has catapulted himself into the dreaded Briar Patch.

There is a You tube video featuring the Reverend Dr. James Manning that has gone viral. It shows an undeniably Black man giving an unfavorable thumb nail view of President B.O. Suffice to say that whatever his favorite color is it is not plaid.

Let the record show that if a White man, particularly a White man with media access, had said anything remotely similar to what was said Reverend Jesse and Reverend Al would have led a crusade to where Reverend Manning lives. Forget about Saturday Night Specials. The weapons of choice would have been a flame thrower. In this endeavor the New York Times and MANBC would have been the tumescent cheerleaders urging mayhem and havoc. Collateral damage would have been collateral but understandably regretted.

You mention castration as part of the package that bring us to this sorry, not quite Helter Skelter state.

I would be remiss if I did not remind you of Jesse Jackson’s promise to “cut Obama’s nuts off”. You do remember that, don’t you? Is nut cutting to be judged by the race of the cutter or the cuttee?

Slavery ended when 600,000 White Americans, including a relative of mine whos is still there “wrapped in his faded coat of blue”, died to overturn the Dred Scott decision. This entitles me to bring my granddaughters to Gettysburg. When I do I will tell them that “the whole earth is the sepulcher of famous men”.

Speaking of language, it is now acceptable – the adage is “Silence gives consent” – to speak of raping the daughter of a politician with whom you disagree. Further, the politician should be raped, sodomized by an overly endowed Black male, and then have someone take a dump in her mouth before pissing in her eyes.

That falls under the category of pushing the envelope on the parameters of civil discourse.

Let’s all take a deep breath and remember the words of one of the President’s more illustrious ancestors. Perhaps he was one who profited from the other side of the slave trade. Of course, the possibility that all those poor souls voluntarily presented themselves for passage to the New World remains.

He said…

“The camel shits; the caravan moves on.”





Kevin Smith

Saturday, November 30, 2013

November 29, 2013
Leonard Pitts
The Miami Herald
3511 NW 91st Street
Miami. FL 33172

RE: Thanks be to Allah we ain’t yet run by the Taliban. Some comments on your column of 11/27/13 about the horrors, the horrors of never reaching the horizon.

Mr. Pitts,

Before I get to the good part about male misogyny – Can there be any other kind? – keeping your daughter from being all that she wants to be I have an academic/cultural question.

You say that she is an English major.

Perhaps she will know.

Is Wordsworth, despite his devotion to daffodils, still considered to be a male chauvinist pig by the elders of the feminist, hecates all, deconstructive sophists in the All Chick Literature Hall of Fame?

I am preparing for my traditional end of year book shredding. [Shredding you say? I no longer burn them. Rather, I dispose of them in an environmentally sensitive manner. It is a small thing but it’s a start to reduce my carbon foot print to help save the baby seal eating drowning polar bears. It’s the least I can do.] Who says a founding member of the “vast Right-Wing conspiracy” can’t be a fan of clean air? Send me your list.

If you tell me her favorite poet is Rod McKuen or, worse, Maya Angelou, I’ll be shocked, shocked.

But I digress.

You say

“When she launches her career [social work], she’s
likely to face barriers to advancement common to
American women – lower pay, workplace misogyny,
And that ceiling of glass through which she will be
Able to see the next step but be barred from taking it.”
The Herald
You

3 things, perhaps more.

#1 – Are you saying that if your daughter gets a degree in social work and works for the city of Fort Lauderdale, Broward County, the state of Florida or the Federal government she will be paid less because she lacks a prostate gland?

If so I know any number of underemployed lawyers who will take her case on a double contingency basis. A – If they don’t win the lawyers get bupkis and –B- If lose they will pay her. A win/ win for her.

Such is the cultural fervor for “fairness” that she would be better served, if she intends to be a litigant in the court of perpetually outraged victimhood, to get a Doctorate. It’s like Final Jeopardy without the Jeopardy. Plus, the scores can really change. So can the dough.

#2 – Workplace misogyny? I hoped that 5 years of change would have “fundamentally transformed” all that. Silly me! That’s the last time I’ll ever believe a politician.

The traditional modern American Liberal solution – See a problem? Write a law correcting it. Have Judge Draco enforce it. – may not be the best one available.

Tell her to read about Lysistrata and Antigone.

It didn’t necessarily “work” for them but after 25 centuries it still is a good conversation starter.

Tell her to think about Golda Meir and Margaret Thatcher as role models, it being a bit late for an Evita reprise.

Do you think the Incognito/Martin brouhaha is worthy of mention here?

#3 – About the impenetrable “glass ceiling”…perhaps a review of Hillary Clinton’s rise to fame, power, money [she gets $450,000 per speech], and high office is in order.

She was hired by the largest law firm in Little Rock, Arkansas the day after her husband was elected Attorney General of Arkansas.

She was made a partner by the largest law firm in Little Rock, Arkansas the day after her husband was elected Governor of Arkansas.

She was made an outside director of the largest company in Arkansas after her husband was re-elected Governor of Arkansas. [It must be noted that within hours of her resigning her seat on the board of Wal-Mart the company turned to the dark side. Worker exploitation, sexual harassment, homophobia are proudly proclaimed as company goals. Their $4 prescription plan is just a ploy to get all single moms, women of color with children in need of a good Ritalin program and Midnight Basketball, to buy prescriptions there. Once they do the price will go to the moon. Since we know that poor people cannot exercise consumer rights Wal-Mart will “own” them. Just you wait and see.]

One more thing before I go.

Perhaps your daughter – Did she go to public high school like President Bush’s daughters did and President Obama’s daughters didn’t? – may want to spend some time consulting with Clio, the Muse of History.

Her assignment is to research why the victory at Tours – the paradigmatic template for good guys beating bad guys – is the most significant military event in Western Civilization

Her starting point is to show what would have happened if the winners and the losers were reversed.

I read this morning where the WOG mullahs in Nigeria steam rolled 250,000 bottle of beer. While I night be in favor of smashing 250,000 bottles of Lite-Beer swill it is a slippery slope down which I do not want to go. At the bottom, in addition to the dreaded chilling effect, are people who want to bring back stoning as one solution to the adultery problem. Talk about social work on steroids!

Does she know that while Western theologians used to debate how many angels could dance on the head of a pin their Islamic counterparts now debate what size stones to use in their no-fault divorce courts? If the stones were too big the lady didn’t suffer long enough. If the stones were too small the lady suffered too long. The search for the right size stone, like the quest for the Holy Grail and the horizon, is never ending.
Woman’s reach must exceed her grasp or what’s the sense of it all?

I too am thankful that Malala lives. Deo volente that she “will not only endure but that she will prevail”.

All the more reason that your daughter’s potential troubles are small, indeed tiny, minuscule, compared to hers.

What a country!




Kevin Smith

Sunday, November 24, 2013

November 23, 2013
Albert R. Hunt
Bloomberg News
1399 New York Avenue
Washington, DC 20005

RE: Is there a copy available of the Esquire cover with an article entitled “Kennedy Without Tears”? It had a picture of the martyred President, the one shot and killed by a devoted Marxist, and not the Tea Party, on a crucifix. Didn’t Mother Teresa and the Polish Pope have a Devil’s Advocate?

Mr. Hunt,

First, I am an Irish-Catholic born and raised in Bayonne, NJ. That precludes any possibility of GOP tainting since Republicans had to be out of town by sundown. I remember my father telling me that a sign that said “Men Working” was Republican propaganda.

Second, my letter from R. Sargent Shriver congratulating me on joining the Peace Corps is available for review.

Four things about your “Excuse me but I just wet my pants” column about Lucky Jack:

#1 – You mention President Kennedy “who sent troops to the South to enforce integration”...

The rule for civil fraud – 10b5 – specifically mentions “omission” of a material fact as being part of the double helix of fraud. You have your toes up on the line by not mentioning that it was President Eisenhower who sent paratroopers – I forget whether it was the 82nd or the 101st – to Central High School in little Rock, Arkansas to enforce the law.

History demands that 2 things be emphasized:

A – All opposition – all, no exceptions – to the above came from the Democratic Party.

B – President Eisenhower, nee General Eisenhower, the man who led this country to victory in Europe, was the same man that Candidate Kennedy accused of letting this country fall into a “limitless peril”. It was called the “missile gap”

Thank God for Google.

#2 – You mention Joe Kennedy “a 33 year old freshman Congressman from Massachusetts” as if he were… as if he were… part of the royal family of. Kim Il Sung.
Jeezus Haitch Keerist, but it’s good to be a catcher on the Lucky Sperm Yankees. I daresay that health care coverage after January 1, 2014 is not high on their list of concerns.

Those louts and loutettes must have implanted GPS chips. Should one of them get lost in the woods no hound could ever track them because they all have lethal levels of “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”.

Do you know if any of those dilettantes ever soiled their diapers when they were young? Were they born playing touch football? Miley Cyrus and Brittany Spears at least had to sing and dance before they retreated to the 1% world of conspicuous consumption.

#3 – Maybe Malcolm X was on to something when he suggested that “chickens were coming home to roost” in re the Kennedy assassination. 3 weeks before Kennedy was shot the United States, at the very least, acquiesced in the assassinations of Diem and Nhu in Saigon. One of the flaccid myths about the United States and Vietnam was that Kennedy wanted to get this country out of the conflict. Maybe he should have clipped Ho Chi Minh.

#4– My non Irish-Catholic aunt, the one from Hester Street, said, “Don’t piss on my back and tell me it’s rain”.

Good advice then. Better advice now.





Kevin Smith

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

November 20, 2013
Letter to the Editor
The Sun Sentinel
500 Broward Blvd,
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394

RE: “If it ain’t broke don’t fix it” – Your template for one sentence editorials keeps improving. That you encourage the ascendancy of lunacy is an example of environmental collateral damage. Kind of like “friendly fire”.

Sirs,

“It is not considered junk science anymore.”
Today
You

As a matter of fact, it is, it is.

First and foremost is the continuing egregious offense to Logic.

Would my mentioning Hoc post ergo propter hoc label me as an elitist? I hope so.

Here’s another bomb shell.

Correlation is not causation.

If I were to mention tautologies you would surely go bonkers.

One particularly hot August day in Washington, DC – Hot summer day in DC? When did they start? – President Clinton held a press conference in the Rose Garden. He began by saying it was hot because of Global Warming. Global Warming was caused by hot summer days. So there. He immediately went back to the Oval Office for a stress reduction session

I have a book – The Population Bomb – written in 1970 by Paul Ehrlich, P.HD. His major premise, that we would all be dead by the year 2000 has been irrefutably empirically refuted. His autopsy of our dead palnet would show a neck and neck race between starvation and freezing as the alleged perpetrators. Objects of interest, if you will.

I am chuckling – strike that – sneering because 13 years after we were supposed to have gone by-by we are still standing. The 6:00 AM temperature was 79 degrees and I remain calorically challenged. “Never mind”, as Emily Litella used to say.

Who else but Commissioner Kristin Jacobs to be the poster girl for your Save the Friggin’ Polar Bears campaign.

She is the high priestess of the Lysenko sect of the Church of St. Ned Lud. I search vainly, ever so vainly, for a gentle way of saying that she is dumber than a dead 12 volt battery. Alas, I’ll find rutting unicorns returning punts for the loutish Dolphins before I find that.

She says, with neither a sense of embarrassment nor one of satire, that if we were to “overlay” a picture of Typhoon Haiyan over South Florida we would see the errors of our ways. Having been blessed with this Damascus moment we would return to the glories of the Bronze Age.

Thank God for permitting the discovery of the word bullshit.

How about we “overlay” Krakatoa over Broward County? The problems of over development, diminishing resources, FCAT scores, drowning polar bears photo IDs, and exploding human populations, would not have been visited on us.

How about we “overlay” the last Ice Age over Broward County? It sure as Hell would solve the python problem in the Everglades, wouldn’t it? We wouldn’t have to worry about affordable housing anymore or diversity anymore. Besides, maybe it’s time to stir things up a bit. I like it when a new New River appears. Which reminds me…How old is the old New River?

Despite getting style points form the Bulgarian judge for diving into the empty end of the gene pool is a sure and certain way to wind up being overloaded with Head up her Ass thoughts.

One certain way to lessen the damage caused by burning fossil fuels would be for Broward County to ban all air conditioning.

It’s the least we can do for our planet.

Send that balloon up and see how long it takes for the ObamaCare Death Panels to put you on the short yellow bus to the booby hatch.






Kevin Smith

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

November 19, 2013
Richie Incognito was last seen having an Atlas 5 rocket welded to his ass in preparation for his quasi-Quixotic quest to catch up to and pass the Pioneer space probe, the one launched in the glory years of Jimmy Carter.
Among other of the despicable, vile, Tea Party directed things he said he would do to Girly Man Jonathan Martin, a “Stanford graduate who reads classic literature and likes classical music”, was to take a dump in his mouth.
Richie will be heard from again just as he exits Jupiter’s gravity pull.
Some sins can’t be forgiven. Perhaps it would be better put to say that some sins, depending on the sinner, can’t be forgiven.
Vide Sir Arnold Lunn and the curious practice of eclectic indignation. It is one of the principal buttresses of modern American Liberalism. It enables them to make not able to lie straight in bed a virtue
Meanwhile, Martin Bashir, America’s favorite WOG commentator, says someone should take a dump in Sarah Palin/s mouth before taking a leak in her eyes. He says this knowing that there will be no criticism, none whatsoever, from the Left.
Haji Bashir will shortly host Saturday Night Live just before he and Alec Baldwin ride a tandem bike, the one without seats, to the opening of “Angels in America”, a musical comedy.
[“Dump”, as both a verb and a noun, is shorthand for guvna. Merde is an acceptable synonym, particularly for a “Stanford graduate who reads classic literature and listens to classical music”. The name Incognito will soon be changed to Atreus. Any “Stanford graduate who reads classic literature and listens to classical music” will recognize the significance of that. Everybody else must send a SASE.]
Speaking of New Jersey…The mystery of where the weight that Governor Christie lost has gone has been solved. Hillary Clinton, whose senior thesis was on the wonders of Saul Alinsky, has found it. She then Gorilla Glued it on to her soon to be Oliver Hardy ass. She looks like a Braunschweiger liverwurst hanging from a hook in an old time butcher shop. Her ass is what inspired Spandex. She needs a quart of industrial strength WD-40 to get dressed. Speaking of “dumps”, she takes hers in a wheelbarrow, said wheelbarrow having a picture of Monica Lewinsky’s oft visited open Oval Office looking up from the ten ring. Since Hillary has enough problems standing up she can’t be expected to give Monica a Golden Shower. Too bad Robert Mapplethorpe is dead.
In other breaking news, Gloria Steinem, and if you want to know what a two-legged shrew looks like your hunt is over, has been awarded a Medal of Freedom. She says, in typical modern American Liberal fashion, that Margaret Sanger should be honored. I know that Hitler, the Hitler who put all the Jews in the oven, the Hitler who made being a vegan a four letter word, had honored her by putting her views on eugenics – “culling the herd” and all that that entails – straight into the Nuremberg Race Laws of 1934. I guess not.
Jonathan Martin, the “Stanford graduate who reads classic literature and likes classical music”, was paid $75,000 for 3 hours of work per week. His job was to prevent large men with evil intentions from harming his teammates. The conflict between Antigone and Creon was seldom, if ever, discussed in the huddle. Whatever thoughts were in the mind of a linebacker attempting to maim his quarterback it can be safely said that Hayden’s string quartets were not in the forefront.
Even if they were not “Stanford graduates who read classic literature and like classical music” his teammates were familiar with the spirit of “Go stranger, tell the Spartans that we lie here obedient to their laws”.
Would I be dating myself if I were to say that is what men do and that is how men talk?
“Hostile workplace environment?” What flap-doodle clap-trap is that? The more “hostile” the environment the more that the volunteers who willingly place themselves in that arena are paid.
One of the pundits says that Girly Man Martin can turn to his mother for help. A 315 pound man who is paid more than $1,000,000 a year to work for 16 weeks is told to go to Mommy for help? I rather imagine that if he should ever return to a NFL locker room he will be reminded of that only every day.
Speaking of classic literature, and switching sports, T.S. Eliot gave a perfect description of a point guard.
“In a minute there is time for decisions and revisions that a moment will revise.”
[That Old Tom was very good athlete himself is not relevant.]
It is not acceptable to take a dump in someone’s mouth if that someone likes Mozart. If that person has killed and field dressed a bear and caught and cleaned a Sockeye salmon it is.
The modern American Liberal dream of everything in life becoming a scoreless tie is gaining speed.
We are in peril.
One more thing before I go.
At least once a century, 1864, 1942, 2012, the Feds use the Census Bureau for political purposes.
Before Sherman headed for the beach he grabbed the Census of 1860 to see the size of the plantations on his route. In fact, he planned his route by what crops and animals were closest to his shortest route. As valuable as cotton was he couldn’t eat it. He hunted where the ducks were; also hogs, cattle, poultry and grain. He shortened the war by some 18 months. He saved countless lives.
In January, 1942 the President of the United States telephoned the Governor of California. “Round up all those Gomers”, said Franklin Roosevelt. “I’ll send you the Census of 1940 to help you find out where they live.” “Will do”, said Governor Earl Warren.
In 2012 the Obama White House told the Census Bureau to cook the books in re the unemployment rate. They did. The week before the election a rate appeared that was actuarially impossible to justify. The mainstream media went all in. “In for a pence, in for a pound.” They would have bent over frontwards to keep their boy in the White House. They did.
After all, the conspiracy of silence on Fast & Furious, on wiretapping reporters, on the IRS becoming brown-shirted Fascist thugs, and on the murders of Americans in Benghazi, this last bitter cup of immoral doing was drunk to the dregs. In fact, it was willingly drunk for their obligation to a higher truth.
“…when statesmen forsake their private conscience for the sake
of their public duties…they lead their country by a short route to chaos.”

For the first two incidences a case could be made that the exigencies of war demanded the actions.
For the most recent, for the most vivid example of “The wish of the Prince has the force of Law”, there is no excuse, there is no justification.
The Alien and Sedition Act, having been found to be unconstitutional long before our government messed with the Census, it is OK, indeed it is mandatory, to proclaim that the Dear Leader has become a pox on our fair land.
“He has erected a multitude of new offices, and sent hither swarms
of officers to harass our people, and eat out their substance.”

“Why stand we here idle?”
All of this began with some absurd football happenings. What a country! That’s why, as the legendary Big Mike from Bayonne still says, “You never see anybody swimming TO Cuba.”


KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

Saturday, November 16, 2013

November 14, 2013
It’s OK to call President Obama a liar.
Leonard Pitts, current Reigning Elder of the Church of the Perpetually Outraged, speaking ex cathedra from the ossuary of “Non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”, gave his imprimatur in yesterday’s Miami Herald.
HE called him a liar.

In a lateral Arabesqued nuance, a move perfected by card carrying modern American Liberals, Pitts said he wasn’t as upset with the Dear Leader lying as he was with him soiling the cultivated image of him “not being just another President”.
He ends his column, not by chastising President B.O. for, you know what I’m saying, lying, but rather for not doing a better job of it.
“Liar, liar, pants on fire” no longer has the euphonic ring of truth to it.
His mention of “torpid prose” cannot go unchallenged.
He ends a particularly mournful, I dare say lachrymose, sentence by saying that despite the constant pounding of the vile, rat bastard Republicans – Is there any other kind? – Obamacare “remains popular with nearly half the American public”.
Would it make me a Robert Byrd wanabee, a Strom Thurmond acolyte or, worse, a lout in thrall to the hated Tea Party if I were to point out that, using his math, more than half the American public thinks it sucks?
Alas, it’s a risk that I willingly assume.

Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH


PS – If it’s OK to call him a liar how much longer will it be before we call him a lying Son of a Bitch? Once we cross that threshold we need not fear the dreaded Word Police if we point out the obvious. The 400 pound gorilla, sitting Canute-like by the incoming tide, despite all that Ivy League buffing, is a dumb ass lying Son of a Bitch.

Monday, November 11, 2013

Stilling the Pulse of Time from the Wall Street Journal

On the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month in 1918, firing ceased on the Western Front. Out of the ashes of World War I, whose centenary falls on this day next year, rose the Cenotaph in London, a remarkable monument commemorating, as its mournful inscription says, "The Glorious Dead."

MORE HERE

Sunday, November 10, 2013

November 10, 2013
Letter to the Editor
The Miami Herald
3511 NW 91st Avenue
Miami, FL 33172

RE: How rough a ride? – Some comments on your “Men are not angels” editorial today about the horrors, the horrors of partisan politics as if there were any other kind.

Sirs,

1800 and 1828 were landmark years.

They were years without electricity but not without vitriol and billingsgate. They were the dirtiest, most vile, most rotten campaigns in American History.

Even 1864, what with the forebears of today’s Democratic Party in a cabal with its flack, the New York Times, calling Lincoln a “baboon” and supporting slavery by calling for a cease fire with the states in rebellion, did not come close. [As an afterthought it would have been better for the country if General Sherman had flattened the South. a la General Lemay’s flattening of Japan. The Romans never had a problem with the Carthaginians after Scipio firebombed them.]

1960 was another great year for campaigns. “Just buy enough to win”. “I’m not paying for any landslides”, was Corsair Joe Kennedy’s retort about money spent in the West Virginia primary.

The Democratic candidate in 1960 said that there was a “missile gap”. How, the compliant media never asked, could the President who led 10,000,000 men in battle and made Hitler eat his gun less than a year after he got to Europe would let his country descend into mortal peril? The answer was that he didn’t.

Mean spirited, nasty, ad hominem, dirty, racist, sexist, and homophobic campaigns are, to paraphrase H. Rap Brown, a noted community activist of the ‘60s “as American as apple pie”.

“Congress shall make no law…” means that if George Soros and the Koch Brothers decide to tell their supporters that the parents of their opponents did not know each very long and that their brief meeting was recorded neither in the rectory nor in the country registry it’s OK.

We tamper with that process at our own peril.

But wait. There’s more.

You imply that Governor Scott’s attempt to purge the voter rolls is lower case racism.

A quick check of voting fraud stories in Miami/Dade County will show that 100% of them involve Democrats. In a bit of unintended irony the overwhelming majority of the alleged perpetrators is non-Caucasian.

I had an uncle in Jersey City who voted the straight Democratic ticket – Row A All the Way – for 15 years after he died. He was White.

Let the games begin!




Kevin Smith

Thursday, November 7, 2013

November 7, 2013
Letter to the Editor
The Sun Sentinel

RE: When the phalanx is being formed who should be in the front line? Further thoughts on the Miami Dolphins BullyGate crisis.

Sirs,

“Unit cohesion” was one of the buzz-words used by vast numbers of Right-Wing conspirators opposed to homosexuals, lesbians, transgendered, regendered, ungendered, and non-gendered personnel being put into combat situations. Indeed these insufferable, insensitive louts did not want them in any branch of the services.

Red neck comments about “I got your back”, “Don’t drop the soap”, “I-You-We-They will “bring up the rear” abounded.

Personally, I would like to see a chorus line from La Cage aux Folles go over the top, bayonets only, at a Taliban stronghold. A phalanx of stiletto heels, slit dresses, 2 pound eye lids, and hair big enough to house bats might just cause the WOGs to panic.

“Unit cohesion” doesn’t stop at the barracks door. And, lest we forget, “…men in barricks ain’t plaster saints.”

Locker rooms – And how long before the cry is heard to have unisex locker rooms, including group hot tubs and rub downs? - have a code.

Performers are at the top of the food chain. Loud and profane, calm and temperate…as long as they produce they are the Alpha males.

Discipline and dedication are in the mix.

While I am bound and determined not to be cliché-ridden it is indeed fitting and proper to proclaim that there still is not “I” in team

Winning locker rooms will tolerate almost anything. Losing locker rooms less so.

NFL teams in Florida have a combined record of 4 and 20 with the Dolphins having all the wins.

I believe that today the Tampa Bay and the Jacksonville locker rooms are in better shape than the Dolphins’. They know that they are just plain awful. If they were horses their next stop would be the glue factory.

The Bucs and the Jags will now play, as is oft-times said, for pride. Individual players will play for next year’s salary. Neither team will go winless.
The Dolphins’ locker room will soon make a dozen rabid, rutting wolverines in a broom closet seem like a day at the beach. The reason is simple: They are mediocre.

Unlike Jonathan Martin who “went to Stanford and likes classic literature and listens to classical music” Incognito is probably not familiar with the 4 Source Theory of Pentateuch Composition. He is most conversant with the life lessons learned at the skills school of Conrad Dobler and Bob St. Clair. Plus, he has great tattoos.

In the funny world of modern American Liberalism the ideal sport would be one where every game ends in a scoreless tie.

Alas, the real world, the world of “stones are hard and water is wet”, does not tolerate such clap-trap nonsense.

The real world is made up of sharp edges, sharper elbows, and big time ass kickings, be they physical or mental. The guy who convinces himself and then convinces his teammates that we might as well win is the guy who gets to hold up the trophy and make a fool of himself on national TV.

Seal Team 6, the Israeli Air Force, the Chicago Mercantile Exchange, the gymnastics team that Juia, my 8 year old granddaughter and Texas State Champion practices at, the English department of any New England college, the editorial department of a small newspaper just emerging from bankruptcy into the glaring klieg lights of a heartlessly exploding Internet [Thanks, Al] getting your kid into the “right” school, anybody who has been 2 down with 3 to go in a $1000 Nassau, handing the pen to the customer and telling him to sign…all are text book labs for bullying and objective survival skills that would make Darwin proud.

Why in the names of Dick Butkus, Jack Lambert, and Ronnie Lott should the hot house of the Dolphins be different?

Maybe Jonathan Martin can be the poster boy for ObamaCare feel good, “Why can’t we all get along” seminars.

Incognito wants to stomp on the nearest guy wearing a different color jersey, then tear his heart out and eat it.

It is the difference between being a Hoplite or a Helot.

When it’s 3rd and 12 who would you want?


Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET


November 6, 2013
Letter to the Editor
The Sun Sentinel

RE: If it works, keep doing it – Some comments on your unlinkable one sentence editorial today about the shame we, and I mean every last one of us, share in the Dolphin Bullygate crisis.

Sirs,

“Bullying behavior brings shame on Dolphins, region”
Today
You

A 16 year old girl was raped and beaten by 5 people 2 days ago. Should Broward County be indicted?

Was South Florida guilty of shooting Versace?

Yes, if we follow your sham Logic, is the only answer to both questions.

[That football is an important tool in the socialization of teenage males overloaded on raging hormones is a subject for a different discussion.]

Since I moved to Broward County a lot of politicians have gone to jail. [Thank God I moved here from Hudson County, New Jersey. That men are not angels is a lesson learned at mother’s knee.] What did I do to cause that? What did you do to cause that? What did we do to cause that?

Collective guilt is one of the sign posts on the road to Avernus. As the first great multicultural poet said “The sins we do two by two we pay for one by one”.

2,000,000 males play football in this country. Less than 2,000 of them play in the NFL. The culture is the same at each level. No matter how long it has been since you played, the culture, the one that encourages toughness, both physical and mental, is always there.

You use the term “workplace environment” as if you were talking about the Broward County Board of Education. Since you say the “victim” likes classic literature let me include one of my favorites. The Great Dr. Johnson – Samuel, not Lyndon – said “Such stupidity, sir, is not found in nature”.

Like it or not, and modern American Liberal editorial writers abhor it, there is a Darwinian selection process that begins in grammar school. The winners wind up in front of 80,000 fans screaming in a most feral way. The noise at kickoff is not 80,000 voices humming Kumbaya. The players are big men who are bent on violence. The more violent they are the better they are paid. There is always someone newcomer challenging them. Violence, and the discipline to use it wisely and well, can overcome physical advantage. I suggest you look back to the Jets and the Colts and Miami and Nebraska. Both were played in the Orange Bowl.

Nixon ended the draft. It is always well to note that when he did the burning of draft cards stopped, it being a moot point. Look it up. I mention that because there are no NFL “press gangs” rounding up large farm boys from corn fields to make them play. Beginning from age 8 they choose to play.

Perhaps Richie Incognito, and I add that the Gods of football are pleased with his name, would not be the first choice to be with to listen to the Goldberg Variations Jonathan Martin, “a former Stanford student who likes classic literature and classical music”, and what in the name of Vince Lombardi and Bear Bryant does that have to do with any of this, choose to enter this world voluntarily.

At the risk of being not sufficiently sensitive to gender issues it is the way men settle things. It’s akin to making law and sausages. If you don’t like to watch messy things turn your eyes away. If a disability, be it physical or mental, prevents him from playing so be it. Let him decide.

We enter this at our own peril.

It should be settled intramurally.

Unless of course you are desirous of sensitivity training for wedge busters.




Kevin Smith

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

November 4, 2013
Letter to the Editor
The Sun Sentinel

RE: A new trend in journalism – ONE SENTENCE EDITORIALS!

Sirs,

Thank you very much for making pre-dawn activity easier. Your idea of reducing all those words, words, words to one thought is sure to sweep the industry.

In its entirety…

“There simply aren’t enough good-paying jobs to keep
poor and low-income families from going hungry.”
Today
You

What went wrong?

4 years ago we borrowed a trillion dollars from meretricious Mandarin moneylenders. Then we used it for “shovel ready” jobs that the Dear Leader then told us weren’t quite “shovel ready”. Suddenly the noted Italian economist, Professor Vivaldi, began trumpeting the arrival of the “Summer of Recovery”. He just finished his 4th encore. Then we arranged to have a health care system designed by Martians with snakes for brains. It gets better. Then we had Pickle Boat Willie and his dim cousin, John the Gom, design a website that makes your hair hurt.

But wait. There’s more.

Just before this jerry-rigged Rube Goldberg thing-a-ma-jig collapses into the Black Hole of Absurd Incompetence send out a Medusa-like South Florida harridan with a voice that can cure Shingles, answering to the name of Little Debbie, to look behind the curtain and yammer like a Banshee in heat that the Tea Party did it I think that means that the statute of limitations has run on G.W. Bush.

I think that’s what the rest of your editorial said. It did, didn’t it? Jeepers, if it didn’t it should have.



Kevin Smith

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

The Anglsophere Miracle by Daniel Hannan

When I was four years old, a mob attacked our family farm. There was a back entrance, a footpath into the hills, and my mother led me there by the hand. “We’re going to play a game,” she told me. “If we have to come this way again, we must do it without making a sound.”

My father was having none of it. He had a duty to the farm workers, he said, and wasn’t going to be driven off his own land by hooligans bussed in from the city.

He was suffering, I remember, from one of those diseases that periodically afflict white men in the tropics, and he sat in his dressing-gown, loading his revolver with paper-thin hands.

This was the Peru of General Velasco, whose putsch in 1968 had thrown the country into a state of squalor from which it has only recently recovered. Having nationalized the main industries, Velasco decreed a program of land reform under which farms were broken up and given to his military cronies.

MORE HERE
October 27, 2013
Senator Bill Nelson
3416 South University Drive
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33208

Senator Nelson,

I heard you on the Michael Putney TV show condemn the Tea Party for shutting down the government

The government has been shut down 17 times since 1977. When Tip O’Neill was Speaker he shut it down 7 times. What were/are your comments on that?

You condemned the Sequester. Would I be correct in assuming that you voted against it? If ObamaCare is the law of the land and, as such, must be obeyed would not Logic dictate that the Sequester must also be obeyed?

Could you tell me how many people have signed up for insurance under ObamaCare? Not how many people who have accessed the demonic web site. Not how many people who have applied. How many people are now insured under the ObamaCare aegis?

I think I have a solution to the Gitmo problem. The President told us it would be closed before the Super Bowl in 2010. It wasn’t.

I suggest that you run for Governor if for no other reason that you and Governor Scott would debate.

Have the debate in Gitmo. By the time each of you had finished your opening statements there would be a stampede by the prisoners to renounce Islam and to become either Trappist monks or snake-handling Baptists. Both if it were possible. The other option would be to demand a return to Waterboarding. Either way it would be a win-win for America.

I thought I was the only one who remembered the B o b & R a y S l o w T a l k e r s o f A m e r i c a routine. I was wrong.




Kevin Smith
October 27, 2013
Julie O’Connor
The Star Ledger
One Star Ledger Plaza
Newark, NJ

RE: Do umbrellas cause rain? Some comments on your Jeremiad editorial in today’s Star Ledger about the weather ills caused by Western Civilization and its wretched excesses.

Ms. O’Connor,

One of the endearing traits of fire breathing, card carrying and non-thinking modern American Liberals who are also ink stained wenches is the ability never to let facts interfere with an argument, however specious the argument be.

As an émigré from New Jersey – Bayonne, to be precise – I note sadly that not only have the inmates taken control of the asylum [the boobies running the hatch, so to speak] of climate change flap-doodle clap trap but that gender equity has been achieved with you as the head ohmadahn.

Let me slip in a few things.

I know why Oedipus went to Colonnus. I know the difference between a hoplite and a helot. I know how Greenland got its name. I can distinguish between Chiaroscuro and Caravaggio. I don’t have to look up the meaning of Annuit Coeptis. I am a fanatic First Amendmenter. I “created” more jobs in the ‘80s than the 30 companies on the DJIA. I can tell the buttered side from the dry. Although I was not born on farm the lesson of the rooster has not been lost on me. My last gunfight was 20 years ago in Newark of all places. Full disclosure requires me to tell you that after finishing my early morning ablutions in the ‘70s I would open the bath room window and give my can of Right Guard a few gratuitous squirts to debase the beleaguered ozone layer. More details? Send a SASE.

#1 – Since modern American Liberals eagerly support 4th and 5th trimester abortions it would not require 7 League boots to drown all the dumb survivors at their first and last birthday. One way to rescue drowning polar bears would be by decreasing the number of gas guzzling SUV drivers by killing them. Maybe it is time for Canute to try again.

#2 – I always keep my copy of “The Population Bomb” close at hand. Paul Ehrlich, a truly brilliant man, wrote it in 1969. He wrote that the race was on. It would be neck and neck on whether we would freeze to death or starve to death. The finish line was the year 2000. I gave away my last cashmere scarf last Christmas. The temperature in south Florida will be in the low 80s today. Since I have long considered beer, pizza, and crème brulee to be a basic food group I would categorize myself as calorically challenged. I suppose I could have said I use my A/C 51 weeks a year and that God has blessed me both with appetite and the means to get the food to sate same but I chose not to.

That Ehrlich, this world class jackass, this world class neddy dunce, continues his Lysenko-like rants with nary a glance from the modern American Liberal media elite is further proof that the vast Left-Wing conspiracy far surpasses the greatly overrated vast Right-Wing conspiracy.

#3 – Super Storm Sandy, as oppose to not so super storm Sammy, should make us all look at some maps.

Sea Bright, where once I lived, sits atop a barrier island. The important thing to remember there is that the ocean is going to win. Next week, next month, next decade, next millennium. It’s a chalk bet. The ocean wins.

That the people who live next to where riparian rights are defined 4 times a day were able to convince everybody else to indemnify them against the total risk is a testament to one of the inherent weaknesses of democracies. It’s like having 2 wolves and I lamb vote on what’s for lunch.

Speaking of Super Storm Sandy…1962 and 1954 were years with truly biblical storms in New Jersey. GlobalCoolingGlobalWarmingClimateChange were unknown perils then. What caused them?

Any map of the south shore of Long Island printed before 1938 will not show the Shninecock inlet. That’s because it’s not there. A super storm, a storm, alas, without a name, carved it out. What caused that storm?

If you ever get to Galveston, Texas you’ll find a few reminders of 1908. Another unnamed storm killed 8,000 people. What caused that? Was it caused by selfish White people demanding more and more aggressive air conditioning? Wait a minute. There was no air conditioning then. So what caused it?

#4 – You mention an “outward attack on climate science” as if there were, you know what I’m saying, an outward attack on climate science. Saying something like that would normally cause me to say that you couldn’t find your ass using both hands. I shant because my loutish Jersey days are behind me.

Hoc post ergo propter hoc is a term from formal Logic. It is empirically self- evident that you are familiar with neither. Look it up. Learn it. Live it.

You may wish to use the term correlation is not causation as a stepping stone.

Even though all acts of terror on American soil in the 21st century have been committed by Muslims it would not be correct to say that while it may seem so all Muslims are terrorists.

#5 – When in doubt about things meteorological I suggest you seek the counsel of the leading Italian climatologist, Professor Antonio Vivaldi

#6 – I suggest using ObamaCare as an answer to the problem of flood insurance. Since pre-existing conditions can no longer be used to deny applicants health coverage why not apply the same Logic to flood insurance?

When the Son of Super Sandy strikes again, and we know it will, don’t we, give the “victims” 72 hours to apply for flood insurance after the storm. OK. OK 96 hours if they don’t have a valid photo ID.

When Congress can dictate that insurance companies must cover all applicants even if they are single moms, women of color, with children suffering from ADHD while they have terminal alopecia what’s a 12 foot storm surge?

#7 – You mention “hubris” as if it were a stand-alone condition.

I find it impossible to think there is anyone who has more contempt than I for GlobalCoolinjgGlobalWarmingClimateChange shills. I have particular contempt for those ass-backwards goms who use the word consensus in the same sentence as science.

There is no and there can be no consensus in science. Either it is or it isn’t. It took almost a millennium to knock Ptolemy out of the big time. Imagine, if you can, astronomy with him. Of course, the moon may be made of cheese.

Whenever Einstein posited something he used the snail-mail internet to publicize it. He wanted to see if others could prove it wrong. He only had to be proved wrong once. That freed him up to move on to something else.

It takes cojonic chutzpah beyond Guinness Book bounds to think that science is ruled by consensus. Imaginary numbers are ruled by straight lines. The feelings, indeed the good intentions of the scribbling scrivener, don’t count. Pi is not a thing that reacts to consensus. H2O is settled science. Hockey stick based fabrications is not.

It is, by the classic definition of the word, obscene.


Kevin Smith

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

October 15, 2013
Victoria Shirley
KSLA
1812 Fairfield Avenue
Shreveport, LA 71101

RE: “Print the legend” – Some comments on your story about people not stealing.

Ms. Shirley,

I read your article stating that not all EBT card carrying Wal-Mart shoppers are crooks.

Let us be thankful for small blessings.

I am reminded of a story told about golfer Bobby Jones.

While looking for a ball he hit into the rough he accidentally touched it. No one saw it. He immediately penalized himself.

When he reached the 19th hole he was amazed that he was being lionized for his probity. He dismissed it saying, “If you walk past a bank and don’t rob it you shouldn’t get a medal”. If pressured I will thank all non-bank robbers.

I mention that because the problem of fallaciously constructing universals from particulars is still with us.

Perhaps you as a media type can help me with a different story.

2 days ago there were several demonstrations at various Veterans’ monuments and memorials in Washington, DC.

6 separate TV stories all began with one man holding a Confederate flag. I know he was the only one because if there were others they would have been featured. I began to think he was the incarnation of the Gray Ghost, Nathan Bedford Forrest. If not him then surely any one of a number of Louisiana Democratic Senators and Congressmen, right?

A not so keen eye might assume that the demonstrating Veterans were racists who probably were climate change deniers who love large caliber weapons.

They’re all alike, aren’t they?

What can I assume about people not stealing from the government even if it is shut down?

Get back to me please.






Kevin Smith
October 15, 2013
Mary Sanchez
The Kansas City Star

RE: Why can’t Johnny read? – Some comments on your oh so predictable column in today’s Miami Herald on why spending more money on education will make us smarter as we close the “equality of outcomes” gap. You can guess that I rank that up with the drowning polar crisis.

Ms. Sanchez,

One of the many perks of being an ink stained modern American Liberal wench is that you get to write sentences such as

“That is, there’s a strong correlation
between poor education and poverty…”

and then this gem

“For nearly two generations, an elite has been busy
remaking our society into a plutocracy…”

followed up by this beauty

“This elite has made war against any policy that
aims to produce equality of outcomes.”

without being flogged by the outraged Gods of Journalism.

[Would not Logic dictate that if we had “equality of outcomes” that every member of every graduating class of every high school in America would be both salutatorian and valedictorian? Theme for the Common Man, Kumbaya, and Imagine would be the only music allowed, right? Tennis matches would last forever, what with there being no net and no points – Endless Love, so to speak]

American education has some monstrously huge short.

Start with tenure.

Paying a bad teacher as much as a good teacher is insulting to Logic.

Paying a bad teacher anything is criminally moronic, not to mention insulting to Logic.

Why aren’t History teachers held to the same high standards as the football coach?
The Broward Board of Education employs swarms of “diversity experts”. What in the names of McGuffey’s Reader and the Dictionary of Cultural Literacy do those layabouts [N.B. I didn’t say overpaid layabouts since all layabouts are, per se, overpaid]
do? What contribution to the Western Canon have they made, will make?

Which policy would you recommend that would “produce equality of outcomes”? Can you mention one that has worked? Could you tell me where and when it has “produce[d] equality of outcomes”?

I was a freshman in high school when Sputnik was launched in 1957. 12 years later we flew to the moon, walked around, picked up some cool souvenirs, and came home. I mention that because your ideological journalistic forebears began an never ending sermon of Jeremiads that proved to be incorrect.

Take a look at the Nobel Prize winners’ list since Sputnik was launched. Deo gracias that there is no “equality of outcomes” in those contests. Whole cultures, indeed whole continents, are missing from the honor roll. Are you suggesting that we should award them on an Affirmative Action basis? Race, gender, religion, country…it shouldn’t take long to level the playing field, right?

Modern American Liberals say that more money equals better education.

Can you cite one year where less money was spent on education than the year before?

It is empirically self-evident that urban education is a train wreck that has been carpet bombed with cruise missiles. Spending more money on it just makes it worse. Speaking of urban education, wouldn’t it be an inspiring move, one filled with hope and change, if the Obamas sent their daughters to any of the really fine public schools in Washington, DC? Just asking.

Why not offer hazard pay to college graduates to teach in “inner city” schools? [Thank God for euphemisms] They must be unburdened by education degrees.

If they succeed they earn a bonus equal to the losers’ share of the Super Bowl

If they fail we are no worse off.

Dante came out of the cave and looked up and “saw the stars”. I’ll settle for the moon.



KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET


Saturday, October 12, 2013

October 11, 2013
Stephen L. Goldstein
The Sun Sentinel

RE: Of course Happy Days will be here again as soon as Broward County is run like Wal-Mart. Some comments on your, alas, unlinkable column on how bigger is better in today’s Sun Sentinel.

My dear Professor,

You seem to have had a mega-dose of the modern American Liberal Kool-Aid, the potion that says Midnight Basketball is good and that tossing octogenarian World War 2 veterans out of their wheel chairs for daring to visit their DC monuments, the ones that they paid for with their blood, tears, toil, and sweat, is better.

I had to get half-way through your “Life is so unfair because Republicans are such rotten bastards” before you made a surprise confession.

“…for every local, there is a yokel.”

Modern American Liberals mankind, humankind, and peoplekind; It’s people, individual people, Joe the Plumber comes to mind, that they can’t stand.

Anyone who dares to disagree with you isn’t just wrong. They are evil. If they aren’t Screwtape evil it is because they are too stupid. Plus they are racist, homophobic, gun loving, climate change deniers who watch Duck Dynasty and use John Rawls books for up and close and personal hygiene.

Logic would dictate that if your plan to consolidate Broward County into 9 “seamless structures” where the trains, once we borrow more money from the meretricious Mandarins to build them, will run on time, the plan should go national.

Doubtless, the first Mayor of Broward County will be named Benito. That’s Benito, as in Benito Mussolini. You may recall that Il Duce was the darling of modern American Liberals in the early to mid-thirties. Look it up.

I went to school in South Orange, NJ. I lived in Orange, NJ. I worked in East Orange, N J. Our children were raised in West Orange, NJ. The paradigmatic template of modern American Liberalism, the one to which you have sworn eternal fealty, the one that compels you to demand that the walls between Wilton Manors and Lazy Lake be torn down, must apply there..

How about No Navel Orange?

The same for North Carolina and South Carolina? Adios to North Carolina and South Carolina? Say goodbye to West Hampton, East Hampton, and South Hampton.

You say that Broward County needs to tear itself down to build itself up or “nothing will ever change”.

Isn’t that what Robespierre and Lenin said at the start of their revolutions? We got the guillotine from the Frogs and 70 years of Gulags and the Rosenbergs from the Russkies. Didn’t Lyndon Johnson say the same thing as he led the country into war? No, I don’t mean Vietnam. I mean the no exit strategy War on Poverty. That one. The one that’s still being fought.

If there is a more modern American Liberal political entity, with the possible exception of Zabar’s this coming Sunday morning or Barbra Streisand’s house with its gnoshing soirees, in America I would like to be told of it.

The modern American Liberal control of Broward County is so overwhelming that Dr. Mengele would be elected because of his progressive views on abortion. OJ Simpson is taking on-line courses to be ready to stand for election as soon as he gets out.

How did Broward County get so bad?

Did Republicans, financed by the Koch Brothers, sneak in at night and FUBAR Miriam Oliphant? How about Sheriff Jenne, AKA Emperor Kenneth the Short? Josephus Eggelettion? Beverly Gallagher? Mandy Dawson? Alcee Hastings? Scott Cowan? Sylvia Poitier? Dereck Salesman? The Chaits and about a dozen elected pols Diana Wasserman-Rubin and spouse? The Krafts? A judiciary where justice has to be blind lest it go mad?

Broward County is the land of palms, all of which are turned up. It reminds me of Hudson County minus the snow and the moral clarity.

Those poltroons couldn’t lie straight in bed.

I can wait for them to take over.

You can’t.




Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET


PS – Commissioner Atkins-Grad was acquitted because her defense – “I am a moron and a fucking idiot” – worked. Good for her.