Posts
August 29, 2010
Stephen L. Goldstein
The Sun-Sentinel
200 E. Las Olas Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: “God is not for man to scan; the proper study of mankind is man” – I love quoting Pope, Alexander, not The. Some comments on candidates and education all of which were caused by your delightful column this morning.
My dear Professor;
“The rest of us mortals need to ask God to save
us from what Jeb and Mario are about to do
to students and schools in
her
name.”
The Sun-Sentinel
Today
You
The italics are mine. Jeb is the sainted former Governor Jeb Bush. Mario is Mario Rubio, the next Senator.
First, a style point, and then a multicultural observation.
Like the unemployed teacher who can’t find a job anywhere answered when asked by a prospective employer whether the world was flat or round, “I’m not sure but I’m prepared to teach it either way”, the raging question of God’s gender is not clear. The style point is that if God, whatever the shape or form, is divine your her should be Her.
The other point, the one with the multicultural “I love diversity and why can’t we all get along” mantra, is that I don’t think our Muslim brethren, including peace loving moderates, are quite ready for Allah to be, you know what I’m saying, a Cosmo Girl. These people are having a serious theological debate as to the size of stones to be used when stoning [to death]”a woman taken in adultery”. The suggestion that Allah will be entering the next Miss Universe contest in preparation for Her campaign to be the next Playmate of the Year is one I don’t you should be making or even implying, particularly in the holy month of Ramadan. I wouldn’t want someone to fly a plane into the Sun-Sentinel building to try to reason with you.
As to education…if moneys spent per pupil became the sole criterion that determined the quality of an education why are the schools in the District of Columbia not turning out 3 or 4 Nobel Prize winners a year? Every year.
Alas, this is not the case.
I have one solution... Quien sabe? It may work. If it doesn’t at least we tried.
Will you join me in mandating that all children living in public housing in the District of Columbia must – no exceptions, none – attend pubic schools? The first ones on the yellow bus will be the Obama girls. That’s something you can get behind, hopefully no too far behind, isn’t it?
Did you know that Congressman Kendrick Meek’s children attend private school in the District of Columbia?
Did you know that Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz’s children attend private school in Broward County?
I’ll say this about modern American Liberals, and certainly those 2 must be considered in the top 10, they never let you down.
One of the most dangerous places in South Florida – no, not Liberty City or Overtown – is to be between Congressgal Debbie, Debbie and a semi thug from any teachers’ union in election season. As soon as that red light went on she is praising the underpaid, overworked teachers. All in time for the 6:00 news.
Mama’s Boy Meek raises an interesting point.
If we are to believe his press releases his children attend private schools close to the Potomac River. That’s the one between Maryland and Viriginia.
Congressman Toad Wexler [D-FL&MD] lived a double life for ten years. He represented a district in Palm Beach County while he lived and his children attended school in Maryland. Anonymous sources say that he resigned a step ahead of the Grand Jury having him in for a chat about violating election laws.
Has anyone ever seen Congressman Meek’s Florida license?
If he and his wife filed a joint tax return has anyone ever seen the address on it?
Meanwhile, in an example of why we should have ongoing “bag tests” for both candidates and elected officials, both of these churls continue to champion the causes of borrowing still more money from the Chinese to pay for salaries at schools that they would rather have hot needles stuck in their eyes or get a blood transfusion from Glenn Beck or Sarah Palin than have their children attend.
It is always good to quote James Madison. Doubly so since we are near to Constitution Day.
When asked what was the most important quality to look for in a
candidate for any public office his reply is still valid 2 centuries later.
“Character. Character is all.”
Would not their public stand versus their private choice on schools indicate that they are sadly lacking in character? Since their behavior is typical of modern American Liberals perhaps they should be held up as templates for the breed. Let the breed standards read
“Nothing lost save honor”
Kevin Smith
PS – In 1992 President George Bush’s apparent unfamiliarity with supermarket checkout price scanners was looked on as a disqualifying factor in the election. Am I the only one to comment on Congressman Meek’s trip to the Jewish deli in Miami with President Barack the Beneficent? Corned beef on rye with mayo? Isn’t that about a half step from supporting the mosque at Ground Zero? Meanwhile see if you can get some of those Mohammed cartoons, the ones with a feminine touch, like the one of him shagging a nanny goat.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Ellen Goodman The Washington Post Writers Group
August 26, 2010
Ellen Goodman
The Washington Post Writers Group
1150 15th Street, NW
Washington, DC 20017
RE: “Reports of your death have been greatly exaggerated” – Some comments on your triumphal return to the Miami Herald today. Thanks for telling us how bad we are.
Ellie!
Sweetheart!
Where have you been?
I thought you had a one way ticket to the undiscovered country, the one filled with pretty pink palaces where perpetually outraged modern American Liberal ink stained chicks go when their brain enters full blown intellectual climacteric.
Was money the reason you came back?
Did you put a big stack of Benjamins on the last Massachusetts Senate race? Did you follow the advice of Congressman Patrick “Pea Brain” Kennedy and put it all on Marsha Coakley’s beak?
Quien sabe?
The good news is that you’re back.
The bad news is that you still don’t know bupkis.
Your awards, given annually to testosterone overloaded males – Did I just repeat myself? – who have “bare foot and pregnant” tattooed south of their navels, are missing one thing.
I know it’s tough being a broad in America.
The stalling of the drive to outlaw stand up urinals, the fight to outlaw girls being told that they “throw like girls”, the absence of NFL Kamikaze wedgebusters named Portia, the drive for gender equity at Arlington Cemetery, the Constitutional Amendment banning Ladies Night at saloons, the boycott of Victoria’s Secret until they feature size 18 Buddha-like tubbies on the cover of their catalogues, the lack of Black female suicide bombers – God’s Holy Trousers but I don’t why you didn’t go off the bridge long ago. [The great Reagan’s second inaugural would have been a symbolic time to end it]
I hate to be the bearer of bad news. Perhaps you have been relying too long on the ca-ca from the Boston Globe. There are some villains out there who think with other than their one-eyed trouser snakes. You have been on the testicle free island of hapless hecates too long.
Stop the presses!
There are people out there who hate us and mean us harm.
The WOGs who blew up the WTC sometimes use the bottom of a glass bottle to slice the prepubescent clitorises off of 10 year old girls. Is that in Obamacare?
At least 5 Muslim dominated countries countenance slavery within their borders.
There is a serious Muslim theological debate about the size of the rocks used when stoning a woman “taken in adultery”.
If they are too big the sinning chick dies too quickly.
If they are too small she dies too slowly.
Thus the Muslim world is consumed by the quest for the perfect sized stoning stone.
You have spent your entire professional life being outraged when the ability of a woman to control her body is threatened. Your outrage when some troglodyte weenie who fails to fling himself on the altar of Chicks Rule is noted.
Why aren’t you at Ground Zero screaming for all the defenseless Fatimas? Why aren’t you at the Mosque site throwing bacon fat at the door?
I imagine the lack of a Logical construct in re modern American Liberalism precludes that.
That’s a shame. I am voting you back to the island.
Kevin Smith
Ellen Goodman
The Washington Post Writers Group
1150 15th Street, NW
Washington, DC 20017
RE: “Reports of your death have been greatly exaggerated” – Some comments on your triumphal return to the Miami Herald today. Thanks for telling us how bad we are.
Ellie!
Sweetheart!
Where have you been?
I thought you had a one way ticket to the undiscovered country, the one filled with pretty pink palaces where perpetually outraged modern American Liberal ink stained chicks go when their brain enters full blown intellectual climacteric.
Was money the reason you came back?
Did you put a big stack of Benjamins on the last Massachusetts Senate race? Did you follow the advice of Congressman Patrick “Pea Brain” Kennedy and put it all on Marsha Coakley’s beak?
Quien sabe?
The good news is that you’re back.
The bad news is that you still don’t know bupkis.
Your awards, given annually to testosterone overloaded males – Did I just repeat myself? – who have “bare foot and pregnant” tattooed south of their navels, are missing one thing.
I know it’s tough being a broad in America.
The stalling of the drive to outlaw stand up urinals, the fight to outlaw girls being told that they “throw like girls”, the absence of NFL Kamikaze wedgebusters named Portia, the drive for gender equity at Arlington Cemetery, the Constitutional Amendment banning Ladies Night at saloons, the boycott of Victoria’s Secret until they feature size 18 Buddha-like tubbies on the cover of their catalogues, the lack of Black female suicide bombers – God’s Holy Trousers but I don’t why you didn’t go off the bridge long ago. [The great Reagan’s second inaugural would have been a symbolic time to end it]
I hate to be the bearer of bad news. Perhaps you have been relying too long on the ca-ca from the Boston Globe. There are some villains out there who think with other than their one-eyed trouser snakes. You have been on the testicle free island of hapless hecates too long.
Stop the presses!
There are people out there who hate us and mean us harm.
The WOGs who blew up the WTC sometimes use the bottom of a glass bottle to slice the prepubescent clitorises off of 10 year old girls. Is that in Obamacare?
At least 5 Muslim dominated countries countenance slavery within their borders.
There is a serious Muslim theological debate about the size of the rocks used when stoning a woman “taken in adultery”.
If they are too big the sinning chick dies too quickly.
If they are too small she dies too slowly.
Thus the Muslim world is consumed by the quest for the perfect sized stoning stone.
You have spent your entire professional life being outraged when the ability of a woman to control her body is threatened. Your outrage when some troglodyte weenie who fails to fling himself on the altar of Chicks Rule is noted.
Why aren’t you at Ground Zero screaming for all the defenseless Fatimas? Why aren’t you at the Mosque site throwing bacon fat at the door?
I imagine the lack of a Logical construct in re modern American Liberalism precludes that.
That’s a shame. I am voting you back to the island.
Kevin Smith
Margaret Carlson Bloomberg News
August 27, 2010
Margaret Carlson
Bloomberg News
1399 New York Avenue
Washington, DC 20005
RE: That little voice that says there is no statute of limitations on saying horrible things is back…again.
Maggie! Peg! Whatever,
Time flies when you are really enjoying yourself, doesn’t it? Who can believe that it’s been 10 years since I asked you a la Jay Leno & Hugh Grant “What were you thinking”?
Leno’s question was about Grant getting a hummer from a self employed street lady. Since Big Bill Clinton, the King of the One-Eyed Trouser Snakes [until Tiger] had already told us that “Eating ain’t cheating” I never understood what all the fuss was about.
My question was why you said American military personnel serving overseas were, to quote you, “tax dodgers”. If memory serves there were some people, all of whom were in the employ of Vice President Alpha Gump, who said that GIs serving “in harm’s way” shouldn’t have their votes counted.
I am from Bayonne, NJ. My wife has family in Chicago, Illinois. We could tell you stories about voting that Rod Serling would have had trouble putting into a 30 minute format. They were not the exception but, rather, the rule. The common denominator is the Democratic Party. Whodathunk?
Anyway, the point of this love note is to tell you “that while the light is left to burn the vilest sinner may yet return”. You have a chance to redeem your honor.
A number of states have applied for an exemption to the Federal law that says, “Gosh, GI votes should be counted”.
Why don’t you use your bully pulpit as a partisan preacher to demand “one man – one vote” even if the man is dodging IEDs while carrying an M-16?
This week you s said that Lord Barack the Beneficent is smarter than the average bear. In fact, you said he was smarter than all the bears. That’s why I am confident that we will find those 7 or was it 8 missing states that nobody else knows bupkis about.
Maybe the soon to be discovered Austrian/English dictionary will tell us where they are. My vote goes to fly over country. North Iowa, South Kansas, Oz, West North Dakota, East South Dakota, Middle Arkansas – Hey! We’re almost there, if you know what I’m saying.
As soon as I see you demanding in a most public and persuasive manner that wearing camos does not take away your right to vote I will grant you a retroactive plenary indulgence. It will cover all the temporal punishment due to your updating of “Tommy Atkins”.
“Honor is a gift we give ourselves”
If I tell you it’s time to “man up” will that make me a misogynist?
Kevin Smith
PS – Do you still do your reading on the D-4?
Margaret Carlson
Bloomberg News
1399 New York Avenue
Washington, DC 20005
RE: That little voice that says there is no statute of limitations on saying horrible things is back…again.
Maggie! Peg! Whatever,
Time flies when you are really enjoying yourself, doesn’t it? Who can believe that it’s been 10 years since I asked you a la Jay Leno & Hugh Grant “What were you thinking”?
Leno’s question was about Grant getting a hummer from a self employed street lady. Since Big Bill Clinton, the King of the One-Eyed Trouser Snakes [until Tiger] had already told us that “Eating ain’t cheating” I never understood what all the fuss was about.
My question was why you said American military personnel serving overseas were, to quote you, “tax dodgers”. If memory serves there were some people, all of whom were in the employ of Vice President Alpha Gump, who said that GIs serving “in harm’s way” shouldn’t have their votes counted.
I am from Bayonne, NJ. My wife has family in Chicago, Illinois. We could tell you stories about voting that Rod Serling would have had trouble putting into a 30 minute format. They were not the exception but, rather, the rule. The common denominator is the Democratic Party. Whodathunk?
Anyway, the point of this love note is to tell you “that while the light is left to burn the vilest sinner may yet return”. You have a chance to redeem your honor.
A number of states have applied for an exemption to the Federal law that says, “Gosh, GI votes should be counted”.
Why don’t you use your bully pulpit as a partisan preacher to demand “one man – one vote” even if the man is dodging IEDs while carrying an M-16?
This week you s said that Lord Barack the Beneficent is smarter than the average bear. In fact, you said he was smarter than all the bears. That’s why I am confident that we will find those 7 or was it 8 missing states that nobody else knows bupkis about.
Maybe the soon to be discovered Austrian/English dictionary will tell us where they are. My vote goes to fly over country. North Iowa, South Kansas, Oz, West North Dakota, East South Dakota, Middle Arkansas – Hey! We’re almost there, if you know what I’m saying.
As soon as I see you demanding in a most public and persuasive manner that wearing camos does not take away your right to vote I will grant you a retroactive plenary indulgence. It will cover all the temporal punishment due to your updating of “Tommy Atkins”.
“Honor is a gift we give ourselves”
If I tell you it’s time to “man up” will that make me a misogynist?
Kevin Smith
PS – Do you still do your reading on the D-4?
Vice President Joey Biden The White House
August 25, 2010
Vice President Joey Biden
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20500
Dear Curly,
I have it on “Deep Throat” background, from sources that must remain confidential, from fellow Auks, that your nickname at Archmere Academy was “cheese dick”. They say it was a sobriquet that you more than lived up to. Your efforts to re-earn it are the stuff of legend.
After reading the transcript of your remarks at the National Institute of Health I would include “cheese head”, as in your head is filled with Cheese Whiz. I say that because you were telling us why it was so smart to borrow money from the Chinese to pay for a study of the “social milieu” of male hookers in Ho Chi Minh City. I suggest that you wrap your head in Duct Tape lest we have a tsunami of cheese exiting your ears and eyes. The carbon footprint would be ginormous. It will top anything that Vice President Dick Cheney ever did.
I call you “Curly” in honor of the smartest Stooge.
Congressman Boehner – shall we call him Speaker Presumptive? – saying that it is time to fire all the dimwitted economists, none of whom ever signed the front of a paycheck, is too kind. Is it too late to bring back the bastinado and the strapado? Maybe the Muslims are on to something when it comes to stoning. You don’t see any of them studying Vietnamese fudge packers, do you?
There is a cardinal rule, Rule #1, observed world wide, about ditch digging. If you are digging on the wrong side of the road stop digging. Digging deeper will not help.
In your case we have Rule #2. Keep your mouth shut. If you stuff a sock in your gob and cover it with tape leftover from swaddling your head people will only suspect you of being a HORSE’S ASS. Every time you open it you remove all doubt.
Kevin Smith
PS - Please tell me that you don’t believe that Austrian is spoken in Austria. Also, the American Flag has 50 stars, one for each state. You knew that, didn’t you?
Vice President Joey Biden
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20500
Dear Curly,
I have it on “Deep Throat” background, from sources that must remain confidential, from fellow Auks, that your nickname at Archmere Academy was “cheese dick”. They say it was a sobriquet that you more than lived up to. Your efforts to re-earn it are the stuff of legend.
After reading the transcript of your remarks at the National Institute of Health I would include “cheese head”, as in your head is filled with Cheese Whiz. I say that because you were telling us why it was so smart to borrow money from the Chinese to pay for a study of the “social milieu” of male hookers in Ho Chi Minh City. I suggest that you wrap your head in Duct Tape lest we have a tsunami of cheese exiting your ears and eyes. The carbon footprint would be ginormous. It will top anything that Vice President Dick Cheney ever did.
I call you “Curly” in honor of the smartest Stooge.
Congressman Boehner – shall we call him Speaker Presumptive? – saying that it is time to fire all the dimwitted economists, none of whom ever signed the front of a paycheck, is too kind. Is it too late to bring back the bastinado and the strapado? Maybe the Muslims are on to something when it comes to stoning. You don’t see any of them studying Vietnamese fudge packers, do you?
There is a cardinal rule, Rule #1, observed world wide, about ditch digging. If you are digging on the wrong side of the road stop digging. Digging deeper will not help.
In your case we have Rule #2. Keep your mouth shut. If you stuff a sock in your gob and cover it with tape leftover from swaddling your head people will only suspect you of being a HORSE’S ASS. Every time you open it you remove all doubt.
Kevin Smith
PS - Please tell me that you don’t believe that Austrian is spoken in Austria. Also, the American Flag has 50 stars, one for each state. You knew that, didn’t you?
Leonard Pitts The Miami Herald
August 25, 2010
Leonard Pitts
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 33132-1693
RE: “This is who ‘we’ really is, Glenn” – Some comments on your column on the audacity of Glenn Beck to hope that his rally in front of the Lincoln Memorial would be thought of as something good. I can’t believe that your bitch slapping of grammar signals that you want to be appointed head Ebonics instructor at the DEA.
Mr. Pitts,
My father’s father had 2 uncles who came from Ireland to fight in the Civil War. Both fought at Gettysburg. One of them is still there “wrapped in faded coat of Blue”.
One hundred and one years later, standing on the steps in front of the Essex County Courthouse, I was hit upside the head by a Newark policeman. I suppose we were both doing our duty. Mine was to “speak freely”; his was to keep a sort of peace.
Should there be some sort of slave reparations bill I hope to use former as a carry forward tax credit to apply to my share of the bill. I use the latter to remind myself that the “content of one’s character” is judged in many ways.
You could say the above is extremely self serving. If you did you would be right. Then again “some things are owed to the ledger”.
You say that “social conservatives opposed the freedom movement of the 20th century”.
If we are to believe Mr. Justice Marshall the most racist, the most bigoted of the 20th century’s “social conservatives” was Woodrow Wilson. Can I add without being painted with the scarlet “R” that Thurgood Marshall was the best trial lawyer and worst Justice to serve on the Supreme Court in the 20th century?
An exception to the rule of “de morituis nihil nisi bonum” must be made in the case of the recently deceased Exalted Kleagle Senator Robert Byrd [D-WV]
Using your criteria those two, Wilson and Byrd, would be proud members of the “social conservative” cabal of which you speak so intensely. They were something else too. Both men sought to use the power of the Federal government to advance their causes. Wilson’s was One World. Byrd’s was One White World. Some would describe the Palmer Raids as an example of tyranny wearing the cloak of the law. The cloak of the law is what modern American Liberals love to wear, particularly when they lack the support of the people in a scheme predicated on defying gravity.
Beck’s “right”, the same as Marian Anderson’s “right”, comes from what “social conservatives” call Natural Law. Those rights are ours “from beyond the stars”. That concept is both alien and anathema to modern American Liberals. It is one that is embraced by people who know that “socialism, communism, and tyranny” are synonymous.
Margaret Thatcher said that the problem with socialism is that eventually you run out of other people’s money. T.S. Eliot, a Nobel Prize winner back when it meant something, said that the trouble with socialism is that it is a futile attempt to design a system so perfect that no one will have to be good.
Glenn Beck will try to attract people to the Lincoln Memorial “to assemble and petition the government for a redress of grievances”. Prime among the many grievances is a government intent on “sending forth swarms of officers to harass our people and eat out their substance”. He says the answer lies not in a court system subject to the whims of the majority party but rather in the hearts of man.
I rather imagine that Saul Alinsky and his acolytes would have a hard time trying to digest that.
Kevin Smith
PS – You say that Beck’s using the Lincoln Memorial as a backdrop for his rally is
“worse than nonsensical, worse than mendacious, worse than shameless”. It is “obscene”.
Would not Logic dictate that Pitts’ Rules would put you in the forefront of the fight against the mosque at Ground Zero, the WTC? Alas, it is deuced difficult for modern American Liberals, a group that marches under a banner that is plaid, a group famous for their “eclectic indignation”, to grasp the obvious.
Leonard Pitts
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 33132-1693
RE: “This is who ‘we’ really is, Glenn” – Some comments on your column on the audacity of Glenn Beck to hope that his rally in front of the Lincoln Memorial would be thought of as something good. I can’t believe that your bitch slapping of grammar signals that you want to be appointed head Ebonics instructor at the DEA.
Mr. Pitts,
My father’s father had 2 uncles who came from Ireland to fight in the Civil War. Both fought at Gettysburg. One of them is still there “wrapped in faded coat of Blue”.
One hundred and one years later, standing on the steps in front of the Essex County Courthouse, I was hit upside the head by a Newark policeman. I suppose we were both doing our duty. Mine was to “speak freely”; his was to keep a sort of peace.
Should there be some sort of slave reparations bill I hope to use former as a carry forward tax credit to apply to my share of the bill. I use the latter to remind myself that the “content of one’s character” is judged in many ways.
You could say the above is extremely self serving. If you did you would be right. Then again “some things are owed to the ledger”.
You say that “social conservatives opposed the freedom movement of the 20th century”.
If we are to believe Mr. Justice Marshall the most racist, the most bigoted of the 20th century’s “social conservatives” was Woodrow Wilson. Can I add without being painted with the scarlet “R” that Thurgood Marshall was the best trial lawyer and worst Justice to serve on the Supreme Court in the 20th century?
An exception to the rule of “de morituis nihil nisi bonum” must be made in the case of the recently deceased Exalted Kleagle Senator Robert Byrd [D-WV]
Using your criteria those two, Wilson and Byrd, would be proud members of the “social conservative” cabal of which you speak so intensely. They were something else too. Both men sought to use the power of the Federal government to advance their causes. Wilson’s was One World. Byrd’s was One White World. Some would describe the Palmer Raids as an example of tyranny wearing the cloak of the law. The cloak of the law is what modern American Liberals love to wear, particularly when they lack the support of the people in a scheme predicated on defying gravity.
Beck’s “right”, the same as Marian Anderson’s “right”, comes from what “social conservatives” call Natural Law. Those rights are ours “from beyond the stars”. That concept is both alien and anathema to modern American Liberals. It is one that is embraced by people who know that “socialism, communism, and tyranny” are synonymous.
Margaret Thatcher said that the problem with socialism is that eventually you run out of other people’s money. T.S. Eliot, a Nobel Prize winner back when it meant something, said that the trouble with socialism is that it is a futile attempt to design a system so perfect that no one will have to be good.
Glenn Beck will try to attract people to the Lincoln Memorial “to assemble and petition the government for a redress of grievances”. Prime among the many grievances is a government intent on “sending forth swarms of officers to harass our people and eat out their substance”. He says the answer lies not in a court system subject to the whims of the majority party but rather in the hearts of man.
I rather imagine that Saul Alinsky and his acolytes would have a hard time trying to digest that.
Kevin Smith
PS – You say that Beck’s using the Lincoln Memorial as a backdrop for his rally is
“worse than nonsensical, worse than mendacious, worse than shameless”. It is “obscene”.
Would not Logic dictate that Pitts’ Rules would put you in the forefront of the fight against the mosque at Ground Zero, the WTC? Alas, it is deuced difficult for modern American Liberals, a group that marches under a banner that is plaid, a group famous for their “eclectic indignation”, to grasp the obvious.
E. J. Dionne The Washington Post
August 23, 2010
E. J. Dionne
The Washington Post
1150 15th Street, NW
Washington, DC 20017
RE: “The Politics of No” - Maybe
Mr. Dionne,
The one common denominator, the one thing that is always present when modern American Liberals use – other than never letting facts interfere with their argument, particularly when an inconvenient truth is involved – is that Conservatives either are snake handlers or knuckle draggers.
“The principled case that must be made is that the brand of conservatism
seeking power is irresponsible, incoherent and untrue to the
best of its own traditions.”
Today
You
When a “Trousered Ape” tells me I am not true to my “traditions” I reach up from where I type and touch some books written by Edmund Burke. Sitting next to them are some works by Russell Kirk. Nearby I can find some Buckley, T.S. Eliot, Weaver, Friedman, Newman, Tolkien, Lewis, Chambers – and that’s before breakfast.
Alas, my collection of modern American Liberal traditionalists is a bit limited.
I have the obligatory Rousseau. Whatever else he has done it is easy to know why Frogs and modern American Liberal Jeremiahs are always fighting for Dante’s uncompleted 10th circle.
I could mention Saul Alinsky but that would be like striking out the pitcher. It counts but not really.
John Rawls is my favorite default modern American Liberal pseudo-intellectual. When I first read “A Theory of Justice” I thought it was “Confederacy of Dunces” set in Utopia, the holy city of New England. That book is a hoot. Honest. It got even better when I realized that not only wasn’t his tongue planted firmly in his cheek but he believed every word. Too bad the laws governing gravity are still in force.
You say that Congressman Gohmert [R-TX] wants an investigation into the danger of “terror babies”. You say that he has “absolutely no proof”.
Who knows what “proof” is?
O.J. beat the first rap, didn’t he?
Perhaps the Congressman is acting in the best traditions of the House, the markers for Congressional investigations being laid down by former Speaker Tom Foley [D-WA].
An author named Gary Sick – Honest! – came up with a marvelous idea.
He said that in October, 1980 then VP candidate George H. W. Bush flew in a SR-71, AKA the Black Bird, to Paris where he met with some of the Ayatollah’s henchmen. There he put the election fix in, a la Hudson County or Cook County. That Carter, the worst President of the 20th century deserved to have his mean spirited ass booted out of the White House, there can never be any doubt. Nobody had to fly to Paree at Mach 3+ to know that he was history.
Modern American Liberals take care of their own. Speaker Foley gave the author a boost by announcing an investigation into the October Surprise because “there was no evidence”.
Foley says there is no evidence; O.J. gets off because there is too much evidence. Do they cancel each other out? Is that what modern American Liberals call a zero-sun game?
“Where are the responsible conservatives who should
be denouncing such crockpottery”?
Today
You
I don’t know where they are.
Perhaps they are taking their daily IV of the Trivium to overcome the obfuscatory persiflage coming from the White House.
Perhaps they are preparing for Speaker Pelosi’s investigation into the funding of those opposed to the Ground Zero mosque. Would it be OK for witnesses to take the Fifth? Could we have a Hollywood 10 moment?
Perhaps they are in search of the elusive, rarely seen, Austrian/English dictionary.
Perhaps they are trying to find the map of the United States that shows the 57 or 58 states that are in the Union.
Perhaps they are trying to figure out if deficits under President Bush were so bad why are they so good if they are multiplied by four under President Obama.
“…more than a third of conservative Republicans declare
that our Christian president is a Muslim…”
Today
You
As to believing that President Obama is a Muslim – Does it make a difference if he is Sunni or Shia? – I must say that I am in total agreement with Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.
When asked the same question during the campaign of 2008 she answered that he wasn’t a Muslim…“as far as I know”. Call her what you will but somehow “conservative Republican” doesn’t quite fit.
Speaking of “crockpottery” am I the only adult who finds it at the outer edges of credulity to believe that our “Christian president” could listen to the Gandhi like utterances of Reverend Wright for 20 years and hear nothing negative?
Another Conservative traditionalist, the great Doctor Johnson, covered that possibility.
“Such stupidity, sir, is not found in nature.”
Kevin Smith
E. J. Dionne
The Washington Post
1150 15th Street, NW
Washington, DC 20017
RE: “The Politics of No” - Maybe
Mr. Dionne,
The one common denominator, the one thing that is always present when modern American Liberals use – other than never letting facts interfere with their argument, particularly when an inconvenient truth is involved – is that Conservatives either are snake handlers or knuckle draggers.
“The principled case that must be made is that the brand of conservatism
seeking power is irresponsible, incoherent and untrue to the
best of its own traditions.”
Today
You
When a “Trousered Ape” tells me I am not true to my “traditions” I reach up from where I type and touch some books written by Edmund Burke. Sitting next to them are some works by Russell Kirk. Nearby I can find some Buckley, T.S. Eliot, Weaver, Friedman, Newman, Tolkien, Lewis, Chambers – and that’s before breakfast.
Alas, my collection of modern American Liberal traditionalists is a bit limited.
I have the obligatory Rousseau. Whatever else he has done it is easy to know why Frogs and modern American Liberal Jeremiahs are always fighting for Dante’s uncompleted 10th circle.
I could mention Saul Alinsky but that would be like striking out the pitcher. It counts but not really.
John Rawls is my favorite default modern American Liberal pseudo-intellectual. When I first read “A Theory of Justice” I thought it was “Confederacy of Dunces” set in Utopia, the holy city of New England. That book is a hoot. Honest. It got even better when I realized that not only wasn’t his tongue planted firmly in his cheek but he believed every word. Too bad the laws governing gravity are still in force.
You say that Congressman Gohmert [R-TX] wants an investigation into the danger of “terror babies”. You say that he has “absolutely no proof”.
Who knows what “proof” is?
O.J. beat the first rap, didn’t he?
Perhaps the Congressman is acting in the best traditions of the House, the markers for Congressional investigations being laid down by former Speaker Tom Foley [D-WA].
An author named Gary Sick – Honest! – came up with a marvelous idea.
He said that in October, 1980 then VP candidate George H. W. Bush flew in a SR-71, AKA the Black Bird, to Paris where he met with some of the Ayatollah’s henchmen. There he put the election fix in, a la Hudson County or Cook County. That Carter, the worst President of the 20th century deserved to have his mean spirited ass booted out of the White House, there can never be any doubt. Nobody had to fly to Paree at Mach 3+ to know that he was history.
Modern American Liberals take care of their own. Speaker Foley gave the author a boost by announcing an investigation into the October Surprise because “there was no evidence”.
Foley says there is no evidence; O.J. gets off because there is too much evidence. Do they cancel each other out? Is that what modern American Liberals call a zero-sun game?
“Where are the responsible conservatives who should
be denouncing such crockpottery”?
Today
You
I don’t know where they are.
Perhaps they are taking their daily IV of the Trivium to overcome the obfuscatory persiflage coming from the White House.
Perhaps they are preparing for Speaker Pelosi’s investigation into the funding of those opposed to the Ground Zero mosque. Would it be OK for witnesses to take the Fifth? Could we have a Hollywood 10 moment?
Perhaps they are in search of the elusive, rarely seen, Austrian/English dictionary.
Perhaps they are trying to find the map of the United States that shows the 57 or 58 states that are in the Union.
Perhaps they are trying to figure out if deficits under President Bush were so bad why are they so good if they are multiplied by four under President Obama.
“…more than a third of conservative Republicans declare
that our Christian president is a Muslim…”
Today
You
As to believing that President Obama is a Muslim – Does it make a difference if he is Sunni or Shia? – I must say that I am in total agreement with Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.
When asked the same question during the campaign of 2008 she answered that he wasn’t a Muslim…“as far as I know”. Call her what you will but somehow “conservative Republican” doesn’t quite fit.
Speaking of “crockpottery” am I the only adult who finds it at the outer edges of credulity to believe that our “Christian president” could listen to the Gandhi like utterances of Reverend Wright for 20 years and hear nothing negative?
Another Conservative traditionalist, the great Doctor Johnson, covered that possibility.
“Such stupidity, sir, is not found in nature.”
Kevin Smith
Leonard Pitts The Miami Herald
August 18, 2010
Leonard Pitts
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 33132-1693
RE: “Dr. Laura’s Ignorance on Display” – some comments and questions on your column on Laura Schlesinger, PhD, AKA “The Ignorant White Slut”, in today’s Miami Herald.
Mr. Pitts,
If, as you say, you are from “Planet Negro” can I ask if it is going to replace Planet Pluto? Also, did it come from the Colored Asteroid Belt?
Dr. Laura dared to use the “dreaded ‘N’ word”, the word that White folk dare not use. Well, almost all White folk. There was an exception carved out for any Democratic Senators from West Virginia who were recruiters for, can you believe it, the friggin’ Ku Klux Klan, and answered to the name Exalted Kleagle. I don’t know what the requirements were to earn that merit badge but I am positive that burning some crosses was one of them. You’ll probably find this hard to believe. Type Robert Byrd into Google and see what comes up.
You mention “non-sequitur”. Then you say that there is “a big hole in Dr. Laura’s reasoning”. I mention that because my second paragraph is an example of “tu quoque”. It is fallacious Logic but excellent Rhetoric. As a proud legatee of the DWEM [DWEM? Send a SASE] tradition it makes me want to stand up and shout “Say it loud, I’m White and I’m Proud”. Does that put me in the same canoe as Dr. Laura?
You show a disdain for comedians and the effect they have on language. I hesitate to use the word “ignorant” lest you think I might share the racial attitudes of such famous Americans as Senator Sam Ervin and Senator J. William Fulbright.
See if you can follow this reverse time line.
I’ll write slowly.
George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Moms Mabley, Totie Fields, Lenny Bruce, Samuel Beckett, H.L. Mencken, James Joyce, Lewis Carroll, Jonathan Swift, Miguel Cervantes, Dante, Juvenal, Aristophanes.
I still think Fred Sandford saying that there is “nothing uglier than an ugly old white woman” was one of the funniest lines ever on TV. Archie Bunker had a few good ones too, didn’t he?
One thing that all the members on this list have in common is that they, to cite
Tom Wolfe, pushed the edge of the envelope out. That envelope was the one marked “language”. They affected society by saying and writing things that while important were not necessarily welcome.
If I go to the African/American Library in Fort Lauderdale and ask for Dick Gregory’s autobiography by its name would I be set upon by outraged Black youth turned ferally ferocious by my use of the language he uses? If I went to the desk and asked where I could find a copy of “dreaded ‘N’ word” by Dick Gregory would that be acceptable?
If the “noxious epithet [is] loathed by the vast majority against whom it is routinely hurled” is so evil why are there so many exceptions to it?
It is either malum per se or it is malum prohibitum. Either the word is evil on its face or it is not.
You say that there is a “problem for Conservatives in general who seek to contribute to a constructive racial dialogue”. I still like to describe myself as an old fashioned Liberal but only when I am in the shower. I guess that makes me a Conservative but one who is not necessarily looking for a “racial dialogue”.
The President’s wife told us that she has never been “proud” of her “mean” country. The Attorney General told us that we were all “cowards”. What part of “racial dialogue” would cover those examples?
Speaking of “racial dialogue” what would have happened if a Pat Buchanan or a Glenn Beck had said that the “only thing that Obama had ever run was his mouth”? What if either of them then said, like Jesse Jackson did, that they wanted to “cut his nuts off”? When Jesse Jackson had delivered one of his sotto voce anti-Semitic rants – It was “Hymietown”, wasn’t it? – he said his “joy bell” was out of tune that day. A “mean” country let him get away with it. Would such Christian Charity be forthcoming to any Conservative? Dumb question, right?
With regards to Blacks voting for other Blacks “without giving it much thought” I suggest that you take a peek at some of the voting districts in Florida. Elbridge Gerry would have been proud. Should O.J. Simpson or Willie Horton or H. Rap Brown present themselves to the voters they would be elected by numbers not seen outside of Chicago.
I guess the Red Queen was right. “Those words mean exactly what I want them to mean.”
Red Queen? Does that make me a McCarthyite homophobe?
Kevin Smith
Leonard Pitts
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 33132-1693
RE: “Dr. Laura’s Ignorance on Display” – some comments and questions on your column on Laura Schlesinger, PhD, AKA “The Ignorant White Slut”, in today’s Miami Herald.
Mr. Pitts,
If, as you say, you are from “Planet Negro” can I ask if it is going to replace Planet Pluto? Also, did it come from the Colored Asteroid Belt?
Dr. Laura dared to use the “dreaded ‘N’ word”, the word that White folk dare not use. Well, almost all White folk. There was an exception carved out for any Democratic Senators from West Virginia who were recruiters for, can you believe it, the friggin’ Ku Klux Klan, and answered to the name Exalted Kleagle. I don’t know what the requirements were to earn that merit badge but I am positive that burning some crosses was one of them. You’ll probably find this hard to believe. Type Robert Byrd into Google and see what comes up.
You mention “non-sequitur”. Then you say that there is “a big hole in Dr. Laura’s reasoning”. I mention that because my second paragraph is an example of “tu quoque”. It is fallacious Logic but excellent Rhetoric. As a proud legatee of the DWEM [DWEM? Send a SASE] tradition it makes me want to stand up and shout “Say it loud, I’m White and I’m Proud”. Does that put me in the same canoe as Dr. Laura?
You show a disdain for comedians and the effect they have on language. I hesitate to use the word “ignorant” lest you think I might share the racial attitudes of such famous Americans as Senator Sam Ervin and Senator J. William Fulbright.
See if you can follow this reverse time line.
I’ll write slowly.
George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Moms Mabley, Totie Fields, Lenny Bruce, Samuel Beckett, H.L. Mencken, James Joyce, Lewis Carroll, Jonathan Swift, Miguel Cervantes, Dante, Juvenal, Aristophanes.
I still think Fred Sandford saying that there is “nothing uglier than an ugly old white woman” was one of the funniest lines ever on TV. Archie Bunker had a few good ones too, didn’t he?
One thing that all the members on this list have in common is that they, to cite
Tom Wolfe, pushed the edge of the envelope out. That envelope was the one marked “language”. They affected society by saying and writing things that while important were not necessarily welcome.
If I go to the African/American Library in Fort Lauderdale and ask for Dick Gregory’s autobiography by its name would I be set upon by outraged Black youth turned ferally ferocious by my use of the language he uses? If I went to the desk and asked where I could find a copy of “dreaded ‘N’ word” by Dick Gregory would that be acceptable?
If the “noxious epithet [is] loathed by the vast majority against whom it is routinely hurled” is so evil why are there so many exceptions to it?
It is either malum per se or it is malum prohibitum. Either the word is evil on its face or it is not.
You say that there is a “problem for Conservatives in general who seek to contribute to a constructive racial dialogue”. I still like to describe myself as an old fashioned Liberal but only when I am in the shower. I guess that makes me a Conservative but one who is not necessarily looking for a “racial dialogue”.
The President’s wife told us that she has never been “proud” of her “mean” country. The Attorney General told us that we were all “cowards”. What part of “racial dialogue” would cover those examples?
Speaking of “racial dialogue” what would have happened if a Pat Buchanan or a Glenn Beck had said that the “only thing that Obama had ever run was his mouth”? What if either of them then said, like Jesse Jackson did, that they wanted to “cut his nuts off”? When Jesse Jackson had delivered one of his sotto voce anti-Semitic rants – It was “Hymietown”, wasn’t it? – he said his “joy bell” was out of tune that day. A “mean” country let him get away with it. Would such Christian Charity be forthcoming to any Conservative? Dumb question, right?
With regards to Blacks voting for other Blacks “without giving it much thought” I suggest that you take a peek at some of the voting districts in Florida. Elbridge Gerry would have been proud. Should O.J. Simpson or Willie Horton or H. Rap Brown present themselves to the voters they would be elected by numbers not seen outside of Chicago.
I guess the Red Queen was right. “Those words mean exactly what I want them to mean.”
Red Queen? Does that make me a McCarthyite homophobe?
Kevin Smith
Monday, August 16, 2010
New Business Department Omdurman National Bank
August 16, 2010
New Business Department
Omdurman National Bank
El Kasr Street
P.O. Box 11522
Khartoum, Sudan
Dear Director,
I am interested in expanding my export market.
I represent a cross section of small American manufacturers. They produce a variety of products including, but not limited to, hobin pins, aisle stretchers, thigamajigs, frammises [including the left handed version], steam buckets, mung multipliers, electric nails, cocked hats, organically raised hackles, inter alia.
I also represent some processed food manufacturers, the biggest one being the producer of chicarrones. I don’t know what the market for that is in your country but I am ready to provide you with some samples.
If I am able to generate new business in your country I would need the services of a local bank with juice and connections to the international capital markets.
Please send me your latest financial statements. Also, tell me if you have experience with letters of credit and international wire remittances.
I have dealt with many banks and will gladly provide you with references.
Hoping to hear from you soon I remain
Sincerely,
Kevin Smith
New Business Department
Omdurman National Bank
El Kasr Street
P.O. Box 11522
Khartoum, Sudan
Dear Director,
I am interested in expanding my export market.
I represent a cross section of small American manufacturers. They produce a variety of products including, but not limited to, hobin pins, aisle stretchers, thigamajigs, frammises [including the left handed version], steam buckets, mung multipliers, electric nails, cocked hats, organically raised hackles, inter alia.
I also represent some processed food manufacturers, the biggest one being the producer of chicarrones. I don’t know what the market for that is in your country but I am ready to provide you with some samples.
If I am able to generate new business in your country I would need the services of a local bank with juice and connections to the international capital markets.
Please send me your latest financial statements. Also, tell me if you have experience with letters of credit and international wire remittances.
I have dealt with many banks and will gladly provide you with references.
Hoping to hear from you soon I remain
Sincerely,
Kevin Smith
August 16, 2010
Two nights ago I observed Mars lining up so close to the Moon that it seemed like they were neighbors. Since it was Ramadamadingdon my thoughts turned to the crescent and star flag that Saladin and the Mahdi fought under. I thought also of jet planes being flown into buildings, of women having their genitals sliced, of whistling and balloons being outlawed, of serious sober people saying that they are going to kill us.
Then I read of 19 men given 30 lashes each for dressing like Ru Paul.
Their was great joy in Provincetown when a Federal Judge in California said it was OK for invitations to be addressed to Mr. & Mr. or Ms. & Ms.
Are there parallel universes?
Who says you can’t jump to conclusions?
Not me.
“A Sudanese court had 19 Muslim youths
flogged in public for dressing like women.”
And we worry what the world thinks of us because the arugula salad didn’t have imported balsamic vinegar Tuesday last at Gitmo?
The head WOG in Iran, bless him, told a rapt audience at Columbia University in 2008 that there were no homosexuals in the Muslim world. Obviously, the 19 Chorus Line wanabees were a Zionist plant. The evil diamond merchants – Thanks, Al! – found a stranded traveling cast of La Cage aux Folles and recruited them. Look for them to be starring on Broadway or Fire Island shortly. Like Henry the Fifth they will show their scars proudly. At least 7 of them thanked their floggers. 2 of them promised to stay in touch. If any of them are familiar with how a mortgage binds you they can work for Barney Frank. “I am what I am and what I am is a floggee.”
As to the Mosque at the WTC…Will the flogging post be just for Muslims? Will Christians be able to use it on Good Friday? Will the Village People be able to use it before, during, and after their shows? Will it be available for community outreach programs? Will the whips be made from organic material that leave welts but no carbon footprints? Will there be an AARP discount? Will those to be stoned be whipped first? Will Yusuf Bligh be the head flogger?
Since we have allowed our leaders to take us down the path of forgetfulness of the mindset that made it necessary for these feral predators to lash out at their betters, it is time to listen yet again to Hillaire Belloc.
“We sit by and watch the Barbarian, we tolerate him; in the long stretches
of peace we are not afraid. We are tickled by his irreverence, his comic
inversion of our old certitudes and our fixed creeds refreshes us; we laugh.
But as we laugh we are watched by large and awful faces from beyond;
and on these faces there is no smile”
One of the forgotten lessons of the 20th is that when dealing with murdering thugs the first markdown is always the cheapest. Stalin and Hitler caused 70,000,000 to 80,000,000 deaths. If we add the butcher’s bill from China the number has no end. A wolf showing us his teeth doesn’t mean he is smiling.
Imagine if the Israelis had not taken out the reactor at Osiris in 1981. Imagine Operation Desert Storm with Hussein having nuclear weapons. He had already used poison gas on his own people. Why wouldn’t he have used a couple of A-bombs? Our first Pearl Harbor was 12/7/41. Our second was 9/11/01. Why wait for a 3rd?
CARTAGO DELENDA EST?
MECCA DELENDA EST!
Kevin Smith
Two nights ago I observed Mars lining up so close to the Moon that it seemed like they were neighbors. Since it was Ramadamadingdon my thoughts turned to the crescent and star flag that Saladin and the Mahdi fought under. I thought also of jet planes being flown into buildings, of women having their genitals sliced, of whistling and balloons being outlawed, of serious sober people saying that they are going to kill us.
Then I read of 19 men given 30 lashes each for dressing like Ru Paul.
Their was great joy in Provincetown when a Federal Judge in California said it was OK for invitations to be addressed to Mr. & Mr. or Ms. & Ms.
Are there parallel universes?
Who says you can’t jump to conclusions?
Not me.
“A Sudanese court had 19 Muslim youths
flogged in public for dressing like women.”
And we worry what the world thinks of us because the arugula salad didn’t have imported balsamic vinegar Tuesday last at Gitmo?
The head WOG in Iran, bless him, told a rapt audience at Columbia University in 2008 that there were no homosexuals in the Muslim world. Obviously, the 19 Chorus Line wanabees were a Zionist plant. The evil diamond merchants – Thanks, Al! – found a stranded traveling cast of La Cage aux Folles and recruited them. Look for them to be starring on Broadway or Fire Island shortly. Like Henry the Fifth they will show their scars proudly. At least 7 of them thanked their floggers. 2 of them promised to stay in touch. If any of them are familiar with how a mortgage binds you they can work for Barney Frank. “I am what I am and what I am is a floggee.”
As to the Mosque at the WTC…Will the flogging post be just for Muslims? Will Christians be able to use it on Good Friday? Will the Village People be able to use it before, during, and after their shows? Will it be available for community outreach programs? Will the whips be made from organic material that leave welts but no carbon footprints? Will there be an AARP discount? Will those to be stoned be whipped first? Will Yusuf Bligh be the head flogger?
Since we have allowed our leaders to take us down the path of forgetfulness of the mindset that made it necessary for these feral predators to lash out at their betters, it is time to listen yet again to Hillaire Belloc.
“We sit by and watch the Barbarian, we tolerate him; in the long stretches
of peace we are not afraid. We are tickled by his irreverence, his comic
inversion of our old certitudes and our fixed creeds refreshes us; we laugh.
But as we laugh we are watched by large and awful faces from beyond;
and on these faces there is no smile”
One of the forgotten lessons of the 20th is that when dealing with murdering thugs the first markdown is always the cheapest. Stalin and Hitler caused 70,000,000 to 80,000,000 deaths. If we add the butcher’s bill from China the number has no end. A wolf showing us his teeth doesn’t mean he is smiling.
Imagine if the Israelis had not taken out the reactor at Osiris in 1981. Imagine Operation Desert Storm with Hussein having nuclear weapons. He had already used poison gas on his own people. Why wouldn’t he have used a couple of A-bombs? Our first Pearl Harbor was 12/7/41. Our second was 9/11/01. Why wait for a 3rd?
CARTAGO DELENDA EST?
MECCA DELENDA EST!
Kevin Smith
Steven L. Goldstein The Sun-Sentinel
August 14, 2010
Steven L. Goldstein
The Sun-Sentinel
200 East Las Olas Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33316
RE: Tonight’s History lesson
My dear Professor,
“Anticipation [being] the greater joy”, I was counting the hours ‘til I could read your Sunday Jeremiad about how bad things are, how bad things will be, and why those things are so bad.
Bush is the reason for teenage obesity, the increase of pythons in the swamp West of Sawgrass Mall, and the failure of manatees to secure full suffrage. Truth be known it was Reagan who put us on the slippery slope to terminal chilling effects. A closer examination will tell us that it was Nixon who fell victim to the Tri-Lateralists and the Bilderbergs when he went to China. OSHA and the EPA were just covers to deflect a young Goldstein from the true course of mammon driven Republicans, that course being to make life miserable for the more sensitive among us. If we were to dig deeply enough we would find that the Republicans started the War of Jenkin’s Ear plus the Black Death.
Karl Rove is responsible for Guy Fawkes. There are rumors that the Republicans encouraged Hannibal and then whacked Caesar, Pompey, and Cicero. Halliburton’s predecessor caused the flood made famous by Noah, the Old Testament PETA shill. True believers know that Othello was done in be Lee Atwater as part of an expanded Southern strategy. That you were able to discover all this and not throw yourself from a lofty tor wailing in despair is a testament to “the triumph of hope over experience”.
I tell you this because regardless of what you will say on Sunday. I feel duty bound to report on the President’s radio address today.
Let me begin by saying that he is the best President we have.
His speech mentioned Social Security and how the Republicans want to bankrupt it so the Chinese can take over. There’s a WAL*MART angle in there but I haven’t quite figured it our yet.
I feel duty bound to tell you that are only two of us left in Broward County who understand the flim, the flam, the flummery, and the flummoxing of Social Security. Actuarial considerations aside, the main even happened in 1964. By telling you what happened I increase the number of people in the know by 50%. You will become a member of the original Truthers.
That was the year that the United States government, the guys who work for us, the guys who do what we tell them, cooked the books. All money coming into the Treasury heretofore earmarked for Social Security was diverted into the general fund of the Treasury. The Social Security administration took back an IOU, a chit, a marker, that said it could be cashed in at some future date.
“Book cooking” was raised to an art form in the late ‘90s by HUD Secretary Andrew Cuomo and Congressman Barfey Frank. They forced a very eager Fannie Mae and Freddie Mae to accommodate the creation of mortgage pools filled with toxic wastes that would make Chernobyl seem like Martha’s Vineyard. They then filled both sewers with refugees from the Clinton administration. The one common business experience these grifters and poltroons had was their ability to swallow their pride when asking for help when they stole hot stoves.
That’s one Hell of a lock box.
Since you work for a company – The Tribune Company – that is in bankruptcy you should be aware that the Trustee did a very thorough investigation of where your pension money was. If he thought it was commingled with corporate funds, if he thought it had been used to buy securities of the parent, people would have been led out in chains. That is the law of the land. It applies to everybody. Almost. Too bad it didn’t apply to the United States government.
Now we have more money going out than we have coming in.
If we cash in the markers being held by the Social Security trustees they will have to get approval from our friends the Chinese before they pay them.
We dug ourselves into the hole we are in. The first thing we have to do is stop digging.
August 15, 2010
Sunday morning at last!
There are two things that can always, always be said of proud, loud, card carrying modern American Liberals. THEY NEVER LET YOU DOWN. The other thing is that they all suffer from Stage X of “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”.
Your wailing screed about the state sales tax holiday is both interesting and new. Alas, that which is interesting is not new while that which is new is not interesting.
You say, and may I add “rightfully so”, that the exemptions from the Florida sales tax are both confusing and offensive to Logic. You point out that they are typically idiotic in a manner that only a government cabal of mind numbing bureaucrats – Did I just repeat myself? – can assemble. Behind the curtain is a wanabee Professor Irwin Corey beside himself in ecstasy at what two or three sentences can do to make sense into nonsense. I risk being thought of as a cad if I point out that only people who favor government control of every nitpicking thing we do, people like you, can say such bosh and twaddle and keep control of their bladders. I think. Maybe. It depends.
There are two teachable moments here.
#1 – “Lest we forget”, as Kipling, the first great multi-cultural poet said, all those imbecilic exemptions, all those contradictions didn’t break in one night and slip into the state tax code like MERSA. They did not spring fully grown from Zeus’s forehead into black and white fiats. Line by line, sentence by sentence, phrase by phrase, word by word they are in there because someone wanted them in there.
Before you get your tighty whities in a blue lipped snick over lobbyists bribing legislators with dollars, grog, recreational pharmaceuticals, lithe lads or lassies, think about the First Amendment. I don’t have to have a “wise Latina” tell me what the words “Congress shall make no law…abridging the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances” mean.
They codified a natural right, a right that was ours at birth, “a right from beyond the stars”. Can we gild a lily?
If you have knowledge of a specific act, of a pattern of criminality you are duty bound to “drop a dime”, to report it the nearest competent authority. Failure to do so will consign you to one of Dante’s lower circles.
#2 – The Declaration of Independence, another document more quoted than read, addresses your vexatious bugbear specifically.
“He has erected a multitude of new offices, and sent hither
swarms of officers, to harass our people and eat out their substance.”
As Professor Emeritus of the Harriet Van Horne Chair of “Another lash on the backs of the Poor” and as a most visible supporter of women and minorities particularly single moms who are women of color with children in need of a good Ritalin program who don’t have the benefits of Midnight Basketball how can you say that they shouldn’t have the cash benefit of sales tax free weekend?
Maybe they could use the savings to super size Sunday dinner.
Kevin Smith
Steven L. Goldstein
The Sun-Sentinel
200 East Las Olas Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33316
RE: Tonight’s History lesson
My dear Professor,
“Anticipation [being] the greater joy”, I was counting the hours ‘til I could read your Sunday Jeremiad about how bad things are, how bad things will be, and why those things are so bad.
Bush is the reason for teenage obesity, the increase of pythons in the swamp West of Sawgrass Mall, and the failure of manatees to secure full suffrage. Truth be known it was Reagan who put us on the slippery slope to terminal chilling effects. A closer examination will tell us that it was Nixon who fell victim to the Tri-Lateralists and the Bilderbergs when he went to China. OSHA and the EPA were just covers to deflect a young Goldstein from the true course of mammon driven Republicans, that course being to make life miserable for the more sensitive among us. If we were to dig deeply enough we would find that the Republicans started the War of Jenkin’s Ear plus the Black Death.
Karl Rove is responsible for Guy Fawkes. There are rumors that the Republicans encouraged Hannibal and then whacked Caesar, Pompey, and Cicero. Halliburton’s predecessor caused the flood made famous by Noah, the Old Testament PETA shill. True believers know that Othello was done in be Lee Atwater as part of an expanded Southern strategy. That you were able to discover all this and not throw yourself from a lofty tor wailing in despair is a testament to “the triumph of hope over experience”.
I tell you this because regardless of what you will say on Sunday. I feel duty bound to report on the President’s radio address today.
Let me begin by saying that he is the best President we have.
His speech mentioned Social Security and how the Republicans want to bankrupt it so the Chinese can take over. There’s a WAL*MART angle in there but I haven’t quite figured it our yet.
I feel duty bound to tell you that are only two of us left in Broward County who understand the flim, the flam, the flummery, and the flummoxing of Social Security. Actuarial considerations aside, the main even happened in 1964. By telling you what happened I increase the number of people in the know by 50%. You will become a member of the original Truthers.
That was the year that the United States government, the guys who work for us, the guys who do what we tell them, cooked the books. All money coming into the Treasury heretofore earmarked for Social Security was diverted into the general fund of the Treasury. The Social Security administration took back an IOU, a chit, a marker, that said it could be cashed in at some future date.
“Book cooking” was raised to an art form in the late ‘90s by HUD Secretary Andrew Cuomo and Congressman Barfey Frank. They forced a very eager Fannie Mae and Freddie Mae to accommodate the creation of mortgage pools filled with toxic wastes that would make Chernobyl seem like Martha’s Vineyard. They then filled both sewers with refugees from the Clinton administration. The one common business experience these grifters and poltroons had was their ability to swallow their pride when asking for help when they stole hot stoves.
That’s one Hell of a lock box.
Since you work for a company – The Tribune Company – that is in bankruptcy you should be aware that the Trustee did a very thorough investigation of where your pension money was. If he thought it was commingled with corporate funds, if he thought it had been used to buy securities of the parent, people would have been led out in chains. That is the law of the land. It applies to everybody. Almost. Too bad it didn’t apply to the United States government.
Now we have more money going out than we have coming in.
If we cash in the markers being held by the Social Security trustees they will have to get approval from our friends the Chinese before they pay them.
We dug ourselves into the hole we are in. The first thing we have to do is stop digging.
August 15, 2010
Sunday morning at last!
There are two things that can always, always be said of proud, loud, card carrying modern American Liberals. THEY NEVER LET YOU DOWN. The other thing is that they all suffer from Stage X of “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”.
Your wailing screed about the state sales tax holiday is both interesting and new. Alas, that which is interesting is not new while that which is new is not interesting.
You say, and may I add “rightfully so”, that the exemptions from the Florida sales tax are both confusing and offensive to Logic. You point out that they are typically idiotic in a manner that only a government cabal of mind numbing bureaucrats – Did I just repeat myself? – can assemble. Behind the curtain is a wanabee Professor Irwin Corey beside himself in ecstasy at what two or three sentences can do to make sense into nonsense. I risk being thought of as a cad if I point out that only people who favor government control of every nitpicking thing we do, people like you, can say such bosh and twaddle and keep control of their bladders. I think. Maybe. It depends.
There are two teachable moments here.
#1 – “Lest we forget”, as Kipling, the first great multi-cultural poet said, all those imbecilic exemptions, all those contradictions didn’t break in one night and slip into the state tax code like MERSA. They did not spring fully grown from Zeus’s forehead into black and white fiats. Line by line, sentence by sentence, phrase by phrase, word by word they are in there because someone wanted them in there.
Before you get your tighty whities in a blue lipped snick over lobbyists bribing legislators with dollars, grog, recreational pharmaceuticals, lithe lads or lassies, think about the First Amendment. I don’t have to have a “wise Latina” tell me what the words “Congress shall make no law…abridging the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances” mean.
They codified a natural right, a right that was ours at birth, “a right from beyond the stars”. Can we gild a lily?
If you have knowledge of a specific act, of a pattern of criminality you are duty bound to “drop a dime”, to report it the nearest competent authority. Failure to do so will consign you to one of Dante’s lower circles.
#2 – The Declaration of Independence, another document more quoted than read, addresses your vexatious bugbear specifically.
“He has erected a multitude of new offices, and sent hither
swarms of officers, to harass our people and eat out their substance.”
As Professor Emeritus of the Harriet Van Horne Chair of “Another lash on the backs of the Poor” and as a most visible supporter of women and minorities particularly single moms who are women of color with children in need of a good Ritalin program who don’t have the benefits of Midnight Basketball how can you say that they shouldn’t have the cash benefit of sales tax free weekend?
Maybe they could use the savings to super size Sunday dinner.
Kevin Smith
E.J. Dionne The Washington Post Writers Group
August 10, 2010
E.J. Dionne
The Washington Post Writers Group
1150 15th Street, NW
Washington, DC 20071
RE: In Vino Veritas? – Some comments on your column on Senator Dodd and the “Politics of Joy”.
Mr. Dionne,
Presumably you and Senator Dodd, AKA Chris the Grifter, were sharing a cocktail or four because the truth came dribbling out, so to speak.
“I’ve reached the point where I’d abolish the Senate if I could.”
Today
You
Perhaps not as bad as “Will no one rid me of this meddlesome priest” but then you say “it is more profoundly undemocratic than it was when the Founders created it…”
Two things are owed to the ledger.
#1 – I beseech you to consider that you may be wrong. You won’t. You can’t. The fly in the buttermilk here is that is what the Founders absolutely had in mind. “Your Constitution, sir, is all sail and no anchor.” This may shock and amaze you but the Founders and all serious political thinkers from the agora on put something like the Senate into being because they feared the democracy that you lust after. Honest. You can look it up.
#2 – Should you have a Damascus moment and realize as John Maynard Keynes did in 1944 that both the premises and the conclusions of his intellectual life were wrong you would become anathema to the vast Left Wing conspiracy known as modern American Liberalism. Keynes had the good sense to die shortly after his conversion to the moral and economic canons of Hayek. Thus, he was spared the rail ridden journey to the intellectual Coventry that apostates from statism are forced to endure.
Modern American Liberals like to say that they are for freedom, particularly when it involves political speech. Thus, when we heard for 8 years that Bush and Hitler were synonymous, it was said to be a sign of political maturity, When someone says that Obama has never run anything, “except his mouth” to quote Jesse Jackson, it immediately is looked on as a racist, homophobic, xenophobic, and openly caloric statement.
[In the 1864 election the Democratic Party and its shill, the New York Times, acquiesced in calling Abraham Lincoln a “baboon”. That’s for a different day.]
I would suggest that for the Dog Days of Summer reading that you devote some time for what the Founders actually wrote and said. It is painfully obvious that you have no – no as in zip, zilch, nada – knowledge of what they created.
“What have you given us?” was the question asked of Benjamin Franklin.
“A republic, if you can keep it.”
Democracy, at the time of the Constitution, was symbolized by the guillotine. The French, God bless them, have always had a way of bringing certain panache to any dish. That you would have been one of the servy boys begging to help drag the tumbrel there is no doubt. That you would have fetched more yarn for Madame DeFarge would have been the role for which you were destined.
Your only hope is a crash course in Edmund Burke. A Russell Kirk IV may be in order though I doubt the death panel laden Obamacare would pay for it.
As to Senator Dodd…he is leaving about a half step ahead of the Constable. His legacy will be a gazillion dollars worth of wretched mortgages, except the one he got as a “Friend of Angelo” on his house in Ireland, and further proof that Mendel was right. He is indeed his father’s son. Acorns never fall far from the tree.
Who picked up the bar tab?
Kevin Smith
PS – I take back my last sentence. The last time a Congressman, one named Dan Rostenkowksi, picked up a tab he went to prison. Every member since has perfected the art of short arms and long pockets when it’s time to settle up. Either that or they use their ubiquitous Chinese credit card. “Ubiquitous” because it doubles as an entrenching tool in the “shovel ready” brigade.
E.J. Dionne
The Washington Post Writers Group
1150 15th Street, NW
Washington, DC 20071
RE: In Vino Veritas? – Some comments on your column on Senator Dodd and the “Politics of Joy”.
Mr. Dionne,
Presumably you and Senator Dodd, AKA Chris the Grifter, were sharing a cocktail or four because the truth came dribbling out, so to speak.
“I’ve reached the point where I’d abolish the Senate if I could.”
Today
You
Perhaps not as bad as “Will no one rid me of this meddlesome priest” but then you say “it is more profoundly undemocratic than it was when the Founders created it…”
Two things are owed to the ledger.
#1 – I beseech you to consider that you may be wrong. You won’t. You can’t. The fly in the buttermilk here is that is what the Founders absolutely had in mind. “Your Constitution, sir, is all sail and no anchor.” This may shock and amaze you but the Founders and all serious political thinkers from the agora on put something like the Senate into being because they feared the democracy that you lust after. Honest. You can look it up.
#2 – Should you have a Damascus moment and realize as John Maynard Keynes did in 1944 that both the premises and the conclusions of his intellectual life were wrong you would become anathema to the vast Left Wing conspiracy known as modern American Liberalism. Keynes had the good sense to die shortly after his conversion to the moral and economic canons of Hayek. Thus, he was spared the rail ridden journey to the intellectual Coventry that apostates from statism are forced to endure.
Modern American Liberals like to say that they are for freedom, particularly when it involves political speech. Thus, when we heard for 8 years that Bush and Hitler were synonymous, it was said to be a sign of political maturity, When someone says that Obama has never run anything, “except his mouth” to quote Jesse Jackson, it immediately is looked on as a racist, homophobic, xenophobic, and openly caloric statement.
[In the 1864 election the Democratic Party and its shill, the New York Times, acquiesced in calling Abraham Lincoln a “baboon”. That’s for a different day.]
I would suggest that for the Dog Days of Summer reading that you devote some time for what the Founders actually wrote and said. It is painfully obvious that you have no – no as in zip, zilch, nada – knowledge of what they created.
“What have you given us?” was the question asked of Benjamin Franklin.
“A republic, if you can keep it.”
Democracy, at the time of the Constitution, was symbolized by the guillotine. The French, God bless them, have always had a way of bringing certain panache to any dish. That you would have been one of the servy boys begging to help drag the tumbrel there is no doubt. That you would have fetched more yarn for Madame DeFarge would have been the role for which you were destined.
Your only hope is a crash course in Edmund Burke. A Russell Kirk IV may be in order though I doubt the death panel laden Obamacare would pay for it.
As to Senator Dodd…he is leaving about a half step ahead of the Constable. His legacy will be a gazillion dollars worth of wretched mortgages, except the one he got as a “Friend of Angelo” on his house in Ireland, and further proof that Mendel was right. He is indeed his father’s son. Acorns never fall far from the tree.
Who picked up the bar tab?
Kevin Smith
PS – I take back my last sentence. The last time a Congressman, one named Dan Rostenkowksi, picked up a tab he went to prison. Every member since has perfected the art of short arms and long pockets when it’s time to settle up. Either that or they use their ubiquitous Chinese credit card. “Ubiquitous” because it doubles as an entrenching tool in the “shovel ready” brigade.
August 4, 2010
B&V,
It is always good to hear from friends in the Mother Country. The immediate good news from Albion is that ½ gallon of Tanqueray is now $3 less than it was. That savings enables me to keep my lime supply really fresh.
Your kind words about my awards
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
POMPOUS FART OF THE MONTH
SMARMY BASTARD OF THE YEAR
prompted me to reminisce on how they started.
The first winner in 1992, even before my awards were named, was Judge Carole Ferentz.
She was a New Jersey Superior Court Judge, Superior Court being the entry level state court. As I was entering a period of constant “disfavor with fortune and men’s eyes” I was appearing before her pro se. By that time I had appeared in United States District Court, United States Bankruptcy Court, United States Tax Court, United States Appellate Court [5th & 10th Circuit], and had a matter settled by the Supreme Court of the United States the preceding year. Despite zealous representation, despite impassioned pleas, despite histrionics from both sides and the Bench, there was a general feeling of respect between and amongst the participants. It was almost palpable.
My reason for being there that day was to bring a stay notice issued and signed by a New York State Appellate Judge. It involved a civil dispute over an accountant’s bill of $5,000. The trustee of the accounting firm got a default judgment against me in Manhattan. The matter was transferred to New Jersey, my state of residence, for enforcement. Judge Ferentz was the lucky winner of my matter.
In the meantime I found the cancelled $5,000 check. I went to Manhattan with the documents and found a New York State Appellate Judge who agreed with my conclusion.
Someone had blundered at the accounts receivable level. I was in the process of undoing the effects of the mistake. The New York Judge vacated the judgment against me. I brought the documents with me for my next appearance before Judge Ferentz. [I always thought she was nasty, that she became the paradigmatic template for smarminess, because she failed, repeatedly failed, at her entry level job which was to be a perpetual succubus. If she had succeeded she would have become the first steatagynous succubus. Ah yes, the road not taken…]
I wore Gucci loafers that were a brisk walk shy of being officially “down at the heels”. Thank God it didn’t rain that day. I also wore a custom tailored monogrammed shirt figuring that each would cancel out the other.
Before I got to appear before Ma Barker an elderly attorney began to speak. He said that it had been 20 years since he had been in a court room. He never got to say his next sentence because Her Majesty, Judge Snotnose Catshit, tore into him. In a loud, nasty, condescending tone of voice she berated him with remarks such as “I’m not running a refresher course for old lawyers”. After humiliating him she accepted his papers and dismissed him.
Then it was my turn.
She remembered me from my first appearance. I stated the facts of the matter and then was going to hand over the stay from New York. I always like to help people out so I reminded her what the Constitution, the one that came out of that summer in Philadelphia in 1787, said about each state accepting the records of each other state. I was going to give her a simple primer on James Madison when she interrupted me in a rage. One of the highlights of her rather unjudicial temperament was the froth coming down the right side of her mouth as she shouted that she had no choice but to accept the document. She also yelled “what goes around comes around”. I am still not sure what that meant but I figured it was something that Thomas More would never have said. To be fair maybe it was, y’know what I’m sayin’, her special time of the month. Thank God she wasn’t walking the fence line at Gitmo or, heaven forefend, running a nuclear weapons platoon.
Thus was born
SMARMY BASTARD OF THE YEAR
There is a marvelous scene in “The Lion in Winter” where Henry the Second screams at the young French king that “you are not a king because your ass is wrapped in purple”. So it is with Judges. Imagine if every catamount with a gavel whose ass is wrapped in black got to be called Judge. Someone like that deserved to be memorialized. Someone like Judge Ferentz. I’m sorry that I never got to see you on the Bench. One of the benefits of wearing a powdered wig is that you can pull it down over your eyes if the going gets out of hand.
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK came with the arrival of Vice President Albert Arnold Gore, Jr. He was/is/shall be so God Damn dumb he couldn’t find his ass using both his hands in a mirror lined phone booth. He was such an easy target that I named him HORSE’S ASS EMERITUS. By taking him out of the competition I made it easier for others to garner their well justified laurels. The current Vice President, Curly Biden, named Curly in honor of the smartest Stooge, has been in the White House less than two years. Already he is showing tremendous staying power by his perpetual assault on common sense.
Next was the category
POMPOUS FART OF THE MONTH
I’ll get to your country presently but in mine there is one man for whom the term was invented. Pompous farts suffer from “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”. [If you need a translation send a SASE] Senator Jay Forbes Kerry, the man who ran for President in 2004, will someday be on a stamp as the very model of a modern borborygymous windbag. He is married to Tereza, the madcap Gypsy woman. Using Tess’s checkbook he just had a $7,000,000 yacht built in New Zealand. He lives in Massachusetts, a state with a long and proud shipbuilding tradition. He also tried to beat the state sales tax by registering it in another state. His apology when caught with his hand in the taxpayers’ cookie jar was the typical modern American Liberal canard. “Just a book keeping error besides I always meant to pay the tax.”
The rules for earning my awards, not just for being “mentioned in dispatches”, are hard but flexible. Hard because I don’t believe in cheapening the brand; flexible because I am the judge and the jury and exceptions are made for exigent circumstances. I have committee of one, me, that handles all appeals. No appeal has ever been successful.
As to your country…
I hope QE2 lives forever.
Failing that I hope she gets to bury Prince Chucky. That he is a HORSE’S ASS cannot be denied. “I am here to save the world.” Don’t get this guy a crown. Get him a wire hanger covered in aluminum foil. That he is an undeniable POMPOUS FART there is also no doubt. I say that because he believes it he is going to save the world. Only someone who has never stood in line at the Department of Motor Vehicles could say such a thing. Yet he does not rise to the level of SMARMY BASTARD because bastards are no longer contenders for the throne and because as soon as he found out that his mom would have to die for him to get his job he earned an indulgence.
Amy and I had dinner in one of the underground restaurants at the Stafford in London. It was called the “Better Hole” as in “if you can find a better ‘ole go to it”. Yet another reminder of the Great War. The inn keeper showed me the guest signature book with the name Wales on one page. “Prince of or Shamu”, I asked. He was not amused. The lamb was spectacular.
As you can see I take my job as seriously as Scaramouche. “He was born with the gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad.” It’s dark and dangerous work. I feel that if I don’t do it the terrorists win. I don’t curse at people. While I have never been arrested I have been visited by police for things I have written. Incidentally, the dirtiest, most vicious campaign in this country was the Presidential election of 1800. And it was done before electricity. Thomas Jefferson, the author of the Declaration of Independence, ran against President John Adams; one of the most revered of our Founding Fathers. No political campaign – with the possible exception of 1876 – was dirtier.
As to the FBI showing up, Deo Volente, it would make my day.
While our countries may be separated by a common language we share a common legacy. We have rights that are ours at birth, “rights from beyond the stars”, that less than 10 countries in the world have. My First Amendment begins with the majestic words “Congress shall make no law…”
It was your countryman, the great Doctor Johnson, who said “How sad of all the things that man endures how few laws or kings can cause or cure”. As soon as we have a tree that produces 3 crops a year of “rainbow stew” I will stop writing.
I turn as always to the last lines of Ulysses, the one by Tennyson, your countryman not the one by Joyce, mine.
My three granddaughters just went back to Texas. I like to think that what I do I do for them. Until the wheel starts to turn in my favor all I can do is put markers down for them screaming that we are a free people. I want them to start where I leave off. Something about striving, seeking, finding, and never, never yielding.
If you ever wonder why I always use my full name and address at the bottom of my balistas it is because I would want a stranger to know who wrote what he just read.
Kevin Smith
PS – I still haven’t heard from the Admiralty. Do you suppose they’re still mad about John Paul Jones?
B&V,
It is always good to hear from friends in the Mother Country. The immediate good news from Albion is that ½ gallon of Tanqueray is now $3 less than it was. That savings enables me to keep my lime supply really fresh.
Your kind words about my awards
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
POMPOUS FART OF THE MONTH
SMARMY BASTARD OF THE YEAR
prompted me to reminisce on how they started.
The first winner in 1992, even before my awards were named, was Judge Carole Ferentz.
She was a New Jersey Superior Court Judge, Superior Court being the entry level state court. As I was entering a period of constant “disfavor with fortune and men’s eyes” I was appearing before her pro se. By that time I had appeared in United States District Court, United States Bankruptcy Court, United States Tax Court, United States Appellate Court [5th & 10th Circuit], and had a matter settled by the Supreme Court of the United States the preceding year. Despite zealous representation, despite impassioned pleas, despite histrionics from both sides and the Bench, there was a general feeling of respect between and amongst the participants. It was almost palpable.
My reason for being there that day was to bring a stay notice issued and signed by a New York State Appellate Judge. It involved a civil dispute over an accountant’s bill of $5,000. The trustee of the accounting firm got a default judgment against me in Manhattan. The matter was transferred to New Jersey, my state of residence, for enforcement. Judge Ferentz was the lucky winner of my matter.
In the meantime I found the cancelled $5,000 check. I went to Manhattan with the documents and found a New York State Appellate Judge who agreed with my conclusion.
Someone had blundered at the accounts receivable level. I was in the process of undoing the effects of the mistake. The New York Judge vacated the judgment against me. I brought the documents with me for my next appearance before Judge Ferentz. [I always thought she was nasty, that she became the paradigmatic template for smarminess, because she failed, repeatedly failed, at her entry level job which was to be a perpetual succubus. If she had succeeded she would have become the first steatagynous succubus. Ah yes, the road not taken…]
I wore Gucci loafers that were a brisk walk shy of being officially “down at the heels”. Thank God it didn’t rain that day. I also wore a custom tailored monogrammed shirt figuring that each would cancel out the other.
Before I got to appear before Ma Barker an elderly attorney began to speak. He said that it had been 20 years since he had been in a court room. He never got to say his next sentence because Her Majesty, Judge Snotnose Catshit, tore into him. In a loud, nasty, condescending tone of voice she berated him with remarks such as “I’m not running a refresher course for old lawyers”. After humiliating him she accepted his papers and dismissed him.
Then it was my turn.
She remembered me from my first appearance. I stated the facts of the matter and then was going to hand over the stay from New York. I always like to help people out so I reminded her what the Constitution, the one that came out of that summer in Philadelphia in 1787, said about each state accepting the records of each other state. I was going to give her a simple primer on James Madison when she interrupted me in a rage. One of the highlights of her rather unjudicial temperament was the froth coming down the right side of her mouth as she shouted that she had no choice but to accept the document. She also yelled “what goes around comes around”. I am still not sure what that meant but I figured it was something that Thomas More would never have said. To be fair maybe it was, y’know what I’m sayin’, her special time of the month. Thank God she wasn’t walking the fence line at Gitmo or, heaven forefend, running a nuclear weapons platoon.
Thus was born
SMARMY BASTARD OF THE YEAR
There is a marvelous scene in “The Lion in Winter” where Henry the Second screams at the young French king that “you are not a king because your ass is wrapped in purple”. So it is with Judges. Imagine if every catamount with a gavel whose ass is wrapped in black got to be called Judge. Someone like that deserved to be memorialized. Someone like Judge Ferentz. I’m sorry that I never got to see you on the Bench. One of the benefits of wearing a powdered wig is that you can pull it down over your eyes if the going gets out of hand.
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK came with the arrival of Vice President Albert Arnold Gore, Jr. He was/is/shall be so God Damn dumb he couldn’t find his ass using both his hands in a mirror lined phone booth. He was such an easy target that I named him HORSE’S ASS EMERITUS. By taking him out of the competition I made it easier for others to garner their well justified laurels. The current Vice President, Curly Biden, named Curly in honor of the smartest Stooge, has been in the White House less than two years. Already he is showing tremendous staying power by his perpetual assault on common sense.
Next was the category
POMPOUS FART OF THE MONTH
I’ll get to your country presently but in mine there is one man for whom the term was invented. Pompous farts suffer from “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”. [If you need a translation send a SASE] Senator Jay Forbes Kerry, the man who ran for President in 2004, will someday be on a stamp as the very model of a modern borborygymous windbag. He is married to Tereza, the madcap Gypsy woman. Using Tess’s checkbook he just had a $7,000,000 yacht built in New Zealand. He lives in Massachusetts, a state with a long and proud shipbuilding tradition. He also tried to beat the state sales tax by registering it in another state. His apology when caught with his hand in the taxpayers’ cookie jar was the typical modern American Liberal canard. “Just a book keeping error besides I always meant to pay the tax.”
The rules for earning my awards, not just for being “mentioned in dispatches”, are hard but flexible. Hard because I don’t believe in cheapening the brand; flexible because I am the judge and the jury and exceptions are made for exigent circumstances. I have committee of one, me, that handles all appeals. No appeal has ever been successful.
As to your country…
I hope QE2 lives forever.
Failing that I hope she gets to bury Prince Chucky. That he is a HORSE’S ASS cannot be denied. “I am here to save the world.” Don’t get this guy a crown. Get him a wire hanger covered in aluminum foil. That he is an undeniable POMPOUS FART there is also no doubt. I say that because he believes it he is going to save the world. Only someone who has never stood in line at the Department of Motor Vehicles could say such a thing. Yet he does not rise to the level of SMARMY BASTARD because bastards are no longer contenders for the throne and because as soon as he found out that his mom would have to die for him to get his job he earned an indulgence.
Amy and I had dinner in one of the underground restaurants at the Stafford in London. It was called the “Better Hole” as in “if you can find a better ‘ole go to it”. Yet another reminder of the Great War. The inn keeper showed me the guest signature book with the name Wales on one page. “Prince of or Shamu”, I asked. He was not amused. The lamb was spectacular.
As you can see I take my job as seriously as Scaramouche. “He was born with the gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad.” It’s dark and dangerous work. I feel that if I don’t do it the terrorists win. I don’t curse at people. While I have never been arrested I have been visited by police for things I have written. Incidentally, the dirtiest, most vicious campaign in this country was the Presidential election of 1800. And it was done before electricity. Thomas Jefferson, the author of the Declaration of Independence, ran against President John Adams; one of the most revered of our Founding Fathers. No political campaign – with the possible exception of 1876 – was dirtier.
As to the FBI showing up, Deo Volente, it would make my day.
While our countries may be separated by a common language we share a common legacy. We have rights that are ours at birth, “rights from beyond the stars”, that less than 10 countries in the world have. My First Amendment begins with the majestic words “Congress shall make no law…”
It was your countryman, the great Doctor Johnson, who said “How sad of all the things that man endures how few laws or kings can cause or cure”. As soon as we have a tree that produces 3 crops a year of “rainbow stew” I will stop writing.
I turn as always to the last lines of Ulysses, the one by Tennyson, your countryman not the one by Joyce, mine.
My three granddaughters just went back to Texas. I like to think that what I do I do for them. Until the wheel starts to turn in my favor all I can do is put markers down for them screaming that we are a free people. I want them to start where I leave off. Something about striving, seeking, finding, and never, never yielding.
If you ever wonder why I always use my full name and address at the bottom of my balistas it is because I would want a stranger to know who wrote what he just read.
Kevin Smith
PS – I still haven’t heard from the Admiralty. Do you suppose they’re still mad about John Paul Jones?
Mayor Michael Bloomberg
August 6, 2010
Mayor Michael Bloomberg
City Hall
New York, New York 10007
RE: The mosque…not a mosque…the mosque
Mayor Bloomberg,
Congratulations for standing up for reasoned discourse, one of the capstones of Western Civilization.
While there may be some truth when Samuel Johnson, that Dead White European Male, said “We would welcome a cow in a pasture but turn her out of a parlor”, it does not apply here. That you are willing to risk the wrath of the yahoos and red necks who oppose the mosque shows that you are a man of principle. Not for you the cries – yelps, really – of the great unwashed who still remember the “unpleasantness” of 9/11/01.
There will be some residual resentments stemming from a cultural divide that, alas, still exists.
When the Taliban, and don’t they give moderate Muslims a bad name, ran Afghanistan they used to pull the fingernails out of little girls who had painted their nails. I am sure you get Abdul or Yusuf to rule that that out, if only in Manhattan. Brooklyn is free to go its own way. [I understand that Park Slope is first on their expansion list.]
I suggest that you ask the imams, mullahs, ayatollahs, and virgin converter wanabees to wait at least 5 years before they open a Medicaid accepting 24 hour pre-pubescent cliteroidectomy clinic. There are rumors that neon signs brightly proclaiming “Snip/Slash – Service with a Smile Plus as Happy Meal coupon [chicken only]” are already on order.
Also, there should be an indefinite ban on stonings of women taken in adultery unless you can get the Village People to sponsor some concerts. If you can get the S&M crowd excited about this you may be on to something. Until then, it’s a non-starter.
Lastly, I would implore you to ask the Big Boss man, the one who has “Death to Jews” tattooed on his stomach, to understand that diversity and multiculturalism is a 2 way street.
The first official religious ceremony at the new mosque should be the wedding of every homosexual and lesbian couple in New York. Special attention will be paid to transgendered, non-gendered, and ungendered couples. There will be special provisions made for pitchers, catchers, Akitas, callow youth, Koran ass wipers, curmudgeons, reformed bacon lovers, and the most coveted door prize, a herd of sheep flown in from the Falklands that day.
I remember the famous New York Post page 1 photograph of a dozen naked men masturbating in front of St. Patrick’s Cathedral.
What better way for them to show how glad they are to be in diverse Manhattan than to schedule a chicken choking, sheep shagging contest before the weddings in the mosque. You could feature traditional Muslim music…wait a minute…there is no traditional Muslim music.
“Trousered Apes” rule and you have acquiesced in it.
Whenever they need outside help there is never a shortage of dhimmi dummies, men such as you, to do their bidding.
Yeats was right.
And where, pray tell, is the Muslim Yeats? The Muslim Eliot? The Muslim Joyce? The Muslim Auden? For it to be a cross cultural experience shouldn’t there be at least 2 cultures?
“The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.”
Kevin Smith
Mayor Michael Bloomberg
City Hall
New York, New York 10007
RE: The mosque…not a mosque…the mosque
Mayor Bloomberg,
Congratulations for standing up for reasoned discourse, one of the capstones of Western Civilization.
While there may be some truth when Samuel Johnson, that Dead White European Male, said “We would welcome a cow in a pasture but turn her out of a parlor”, it does not apply here. That you are willing to risk the wrath of the yahoos and red necks who oppose the mosque shows that you are a man of principle. Not for you the cries – yelps, really – of the great unwashed who still remember the “unpleasantness” of 9/11/01.
There will be some residual resentments stemming from a cultural divide that, alas, still exists.
When the Taliban, and don’t they give moderate Muslims a bad name, ran Afghanistan they used to pull the fingernails out of little girls who had painted their nails. I am sure you get Abdul or Yusuf to rule that that out, if only in Manhattan. Brooklyn is free to go its own way. [I understand that Park Slope is first on their expansion list.]
I suggest that you ask the imams, mullahs, ayatollahs, and virgin converter wanabees to wait at least 5 years before they open a Medicaid accepting 24 hour pre-pubescent cliteroidectomy clinic. There are rumors that neon signs brightly proclaiming “Snip/Slash – Service with a Smile Plus as Happy Meal coupon [chicken only]” are already on order.
Also, there should be an indefinite ban on stonings of women taken in adultery unless you can get the Village People to sponsor some concerts. If you can get the S&M crowd excited about this you may be on to something. Until then, it’s a non-starter.
Lastly, I would implore you to ask the Big Boss man, the one who has “Death to Jews” tattooed on his stomach, to understand that diversity and multiculturalism is a 2 way street.
The first official religious ceremony at the new mosque should be the wedding of every homosexual and lesbian couple in New York. Special attention will be paid to transgendered, non-gendered, and ungendered couples. There will be special provisions made for pitchers, catchers, Akitas, callow youth, Koran ass wipers, curmudgeons, reformed bacon lovers, and the most coveted door prize, a herd of sheep flown in from the Falklands that day.
I remember the famous New York Post page 1 photograph of a dozen naked men masturbating in front of St. Patrick’s Cathedral.
What better way for them to show how glad they are to be in diverse Manhattan than to schedule a chicken choking, sheep shagging contest before the weddings in the mosque. You could feature traditional Muslim music…wait a minute…there is no traditional Muslim music.
“Trousered Apes” rule and you have acquiesced in it.
Whenever they need outside help there is never a shortage of dhimmi dummies, men such as you, to do their bidding.
Yeats was right.
And where, pray tell, is the Muslim Yeats? The Muslim Eliot? The Muslim Joyce? The Muslim Auden? For it to be a cross cultural experience shouldn’t there be at least 2 cultures?
“The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.”
Kevin Smith
Abby Gruen The Star Ledger
August 8, 2010
Abby Gruen
The Star Ledger
Star Ledger Plaza
Newark, NJ 07102
RE: Global Warming, Global Cooling and what do I do with my Ptolemy is Tops tee shirts and bumper stickers? Some comments and questions on your article on geophysicist Wally Broecker in today’s Star Ledger
Ms. Gruen,
As a Garden state émigré I check the Jersey papers to see who died, to see who has been indicted, and who died because they were indicted. I’m from Bayonne so I’ve always been able to tell the buttered side from the dry. One of the serendipities of my thanatoptic quest is that I come across articles like yours about Professor Broecker. He is part of the unbroken line of Columbia University scholar, scholars such as Michael Garrett, Robert Jastrow, Harry Politi, and Whittaker Chambers
A word or two before leaving, as Jacques Barzun would say.
#1 – You say he is the Father of Global Warming. To be precise, as only a non-scientist can be, he is the father of the name Global Warming.
#2 – Professor Broecker sounds like a fascinating man. A scientist with world wide acclaim with the common touch – Remember it was Einstein who always wanted someone to prove him wrong so he “could get on to something else” – worthy of your praise. You lessen your praise of him by including huzzahs from Professor Jeffrey Sachs, alas, also of Columbia University. Sachs, a multi-degreed horse’s ass of Guinness Book notice, thinks that the solution to 2,000,000 sub-Saharan Black infant deaths each year, every year is $10 mosquito netting and the transfer of at least 1% of the GDP to scurrilous shamans and snake oil grifters who, having found a bad situation, have made it exponentially worse.
#3 – If Professor Broecker challenged the established norm of generally accepted science, a pseudo science predicated on Luddism, Lysenkoism, and a total disregard for something called the scientific method, in the 1970s, he should be honored for standing athwart bubble gum science and yelling “Stop”.
#4 – You should have mentioned that the dominating scientific urban legend of the 1970s – gators in the sewers, stuff like that – was Global Cooling.
Paul Ehrlich, PhD, wrote a book called the The Population Bomb in 1968. By the early ‘70s he was a regular on the Johnny Carson show. He was lionized [there’s that Columbia connection again] by the media. His book had a simple premise. There was a
race whose finish line was the year 2000. We would either starve to death or we would freeze to death.
I submit the following facts. File them under empirical evidence:
A - It is August 8, 2010.
B - On Thursday past I was told by my internist to lose weight.
As to B, I told him that I would be worshipped as a God in many countries. He agreed but he also said that this wasn’t one of them.
Do you remember the Club of Rome? Talk about a modern day Jeremiah! Their predictions, issued in the mid-70s, didn’t think we would make it to the year 2000. We were running out of everything. We had enough helium, hazel nuts, leisure suits, potash, and plankton to make it to the end of next year but only if we cut back now.
If Professor Broecker opposed that gang of Yahoos wearing wire hangars wrapped in aluminum foil who proudly wore decoder rings he should be proclaimed as the 20th Century Galileo.
#5 – “Climate is what we expect; weather is what we get.”
Here’s a pop quiz.
How did Greenland get its name?
An acceptable answer is because it was “green”, as in green pastures.
1000 years ago there was a spike in temperature in Europe. I know, unlike the sky is falling non-thinkers with a public forum, that correlation is not causation. Warmer temperatures mean that more land becomes arable. More arable land leads to more protein. More protein leads to smarter people. At the end of the spike we got the Renaissance. Do you have a problem with Dante?
#6 - There is a logical fallacy that tree hugging loons, and let’s put the reigning bird brain, former Vice President Alpha Gump, in the top limb, that the sky is falling ohmadahns cling to like it was their personal anti-gravity device. Post hoc ergo propter hoc didn’t make any sense when Aristotle told us about it. It still doesn’t. All the fear mongering Professors aping Chicken Little by telling us that the Sky is Falling at 125 decibels can’t make it so.
An absence of critical thinking produces mind numbing results.
President Clinton told a press conference in the Rose Garden in August, 1996 that it was a very hot day. He then told us that the August heat in DC was caused by Global Warming. On a roll, partly because no one ever said “Huh?” he then told us that Global Warming was caused by – you guessed it – hot days in August in Washington. Things like that can give tautologies a bad name.
#7 – An unusually cold winter here has had one beneficial effect. A large number of non-native species, critters like rock pythons and striped iguanas, died. How did this cold winter happen here if all the really smart people say that man has put his world wide microwave on overdrive? Should we revisit Ehrlich’s premise?
#8 – I must confess that one of my secret vices in the late ‘70s was discharging some peripatetic Right Guard out my bathroom window. Since I was told by my betters that January 1, 2000 was going to be a non-event I decided to pole-ax the already endangered ozone layer. Why prolong the agony particularly if women and minorities would suffer disproportionately? Try as I did we’re still standing.
It could be that Faulkner was on to something.
“I believe that not only will man endure: he will prevail.”
Go figure.
Kevin Smith
PS – The last time I was in Newark the Star Ledger Plaza looked like it could repel Somali pirates be they land based or sea. Has the Star Ledger put a moat in yet?
Abby Gruen
The Star Ledger
Star Ledger Plaza
Newark, NJ 07102
RE: Global Warming, Global Cooling and what do I do with my Ptolemy is Tops tee shirts and bumper stickers? Some comments and questions on your article on geophysicist Wally Broecker in today’s Star Ledger
Ms. Gruen,
As a Garden state émigré I check the Jersey papers to see who died, to see who has been indicted, and who died because they were indicted. I’m from Bayonne so I’ve always been able to tell the buttered side from the dry. One of the serendipities of my thanatoptic quest is that I come across articles like yours about Professor Broecker. He is part of the unbroken line of Columbia University scholar, scholars such as Michael Garrett, Robert Jastrow, Harry Politi, and Whittaker Chambers
A word or two before leaving, as Jacques Barzun would say.
#1 – You say he is the Father of Global Warming. To be precise, as only a non-scientist can be, he is the father of the name Global Warming.
#2 – Professor Broecker sounds like a fascinating man. A scientist with world wide acclaim with the common touch – Remember it was Einstein who always wanted someone to prove him wrong so he “could get on to something else” – worthy of your praise. You lessen your praise of him by including huzzahs from Professor Jeffrey Sachs, alas, also of Columbia University. Sachs, a multi-degreed horse’s ass of Guinness Book notice, thinks that the solution to 2,000,000 sub-Saharan Black infant deaths each year, every year is $10 mosquito netting and the transfer of at least 1% of the GDP to scurrilous shamans and snake oil grifters who, having found a bad situation, have made it exponentially worse.
#3 – If Professor Broecker challenged the established norm of generally accepted science, a pseudo science predicated on Luddism, Lysenkoism, and a total disregard for something called the scientific method, in the 1970s, he should be honored for standing athwart bubble gum science and yelling “Stop”.
#4 – You should have mentioned that the dominating scientific urban legend of the 1970s – gators in the sewers, stuff like that – was Global Cooling.
Paul Ehrlich, PhD, wrote a book called the The Population Bomb in 1968. By the early ‘70s he was a regular on the Johnny Carson show. He was lionized [there’s that Columbia connection again] by the media. His book had a simple premise. There was a
race whose finish line was the year 2000. We would either starve to death or we would freeze to death.
I submit the following facts. File them under empirical evidence:
A - It is August 8, 2010.
B - On Thursday past I was told by my internist to lose weight.
As to B, I told him that I would be worshipped as a God in many countries. He agreed but he also said that this wasn’t one of them.
Do you remember the Club of Rome? Talk about a modern day Jeremiah! Their predictions, issued in the mid-70s, didn’t think we would make it to the year 2000. We were running out of everything. We had enough helium, hazel nuts, leisure suits, potash, and plankton to make it to the end of next year but only if we cut back now.
If Professor Broecker opposed that gang of Yahoos wearing wire hangars wrapped in aluminum foil who proudly wore decoder rings he should be proclaimed as the 20th Century Galileo.
#5 – “Climate is what we expect; weather is what we get.”
Here’s a pop quiz.
How did Greenland get its name?
An acceptable answer is because it was “green”, as in green pastures.
1000 years ago there was a spike in temperature in Europe. I know, unlike the sky is falling non-thinkers with a public forum, that correlation is not causation. Warmer temperatures mean that more land becomes arable. More arable land leads to more protein. More protein leads to smarter people. At the end of the spike we got the Renaissance. Do you have a problem with Dante?
#6 - There is a logical fallacy that tree hugging loons, and let’s put the reigning bird brain, former Vice President Alpha Gump, in the top limb, that the sky is falling ohmadahns cling to like it was their personal anti-gravity device. Post hoc ergo propter hoc didn’t make any sense when Aristotle told us about it. It still doesn’t. All the fear mongering Professors aping Chicken Little by telling us that the Sky is Falling at 125 decibels can’t make it so.
An absence of critical thinking produces mind numbing results.
President Clinton told a press conference in the Rose Garden in August, 1996 that it was a very hot day. He then told us that the August heat in DC was caused by Global Warming. On a roll, partly because no one ever said “Huh?” he then told us that Global Warming was caused by – you guessed it – hot days in August in Washington. Things like that can give tautologies a bad name.
#7 – An unusually cold winter here has had one beneficial effect. A large number of non-native species, critters like rock pythons and striped iguanas, died. How did this cold winter happen here if all the really smart people say that man has put his world wide microwave on overdrive? Should we revisit Ehrlich’s premise?
#8 – I must confess that one of my secret vices in the late ‘70s was discharging some peripatetic Right Guard out my bathroom window. Since I was told by my betters that January 1, 2000 was going to be a non-event I decided to pole-ax the already endangered ozone layer. Why prolong the agony particularly if women and minorities would suffer disproportionately? Try as I did we’re still standing.
It could be that Faulkner was on to something.
“I believe that not only will man endure: he will prevail.”
Go figure.
Kevin Smith
PS – The last time I was in Newark the Star Ledger Plaza looked like it could repel Somali pirates be they land based or sea. Has the Star Ledger put a moat in yet?
August 9, 2010
Today is the 65th anniversary of the most successful arms control pact in world History.
[Purists may argue that the way Rome handled Carthage was just as far reaching but, as time goes by, memories fade. It is but one more reason to be thankful to the Romans. The coined the phrase “Cartago delenda est”. How easy it would be to update it to “Mecca delenda est”. It has been 24 centuries since Carthage posed a problem for its neighbors. We can still learn from the ancients.]
The negotiations began unexpectedly early one Sunday morning over the skies of Pearl Harbor. Alas for the Japanese two American Ambassadors without portfolio were out of town when their counterparts presented their credentials. Their names were the USS Yorktown and the USS Enterprise.
The negotiations took 45 months. As is always the case there were many ups and downs. If the 5 minutes at Midway had gone the other way, if the American Navy had not turned the tide at Leyte Gulf…quien sabe?
The Japanese soldiers shouted Banzai as they went to their deaths. Banzai to Allah Akbar is not that wide a gap to bridge. History must be our guide. Tours, Lepanto, Omdurman, Iwo Jima, Okinawa. It’s a straight line.
Negotiations were concluded on September 2, 1945 when the United States Navy, that day the mightiest naval force ever assembled, sailed into Tokyo harbor. Admiral Nimitz completed the assignment given to him by President Roosevelt just after Pearl Harbor. “Don’t come back until it’s over.” The documents of surrender were signed. General MacArthur said, “These proceedings are closed”. 500 American Naval aviators overflew the USS Missouri. Indeed, the proceedings were closed.
On August 6, 1945 the United States pushed a large black chip to the center of the table. One plane, one bomb, one city. Getting no response the United States pushed another black chip to the center of the table on August 9th. One plane, one bomb, one city.
The saying “nolo tangere cum impecunis”, having been proved to be still valid, has given the world a bonus. Nuclear weapons are everywhere but they have never been used in war. It may end this year but we have had 65 years of Pax Atomica for which we must say
Deo Gratias
Kevin Smith
Today is the 65th anniversary of the most successful arms control pact in world History.
[Purists may argue that the way Rome handled Carthage was just as far reaching but, as time goes by, memories fade. It is but one more reason to be thankful to the Romans. The coined the phrase “Cartago delenda est”. How easy it would be to update it to “Mecca delenda est”. It has been 24 centuries since Carthage posed a problem for its neighbors. We can still learn from the ancients.]
The negotiations began unexpectedly early one Sunday morning over the skies of Pearl Harbor. Alas for the Japanese two American Ambassadors without portfolio were out of town when their counterparts presented their credentials. Their names were the USS Yorktown and the USS Enterprise.
The negotiations took 45 months. As is always the case there were many ups and downs. If the 5 minutes at Midway had gone the other way, if the American Navy had not turned the tide at Leyte Gulf…quien sabe?
The Japanese soldiers shouted Banzai as they went to their deaths. Banzai to Allah Akbar is not that wide a gap to bridge. History must be our guide. Tours, Lepanto, Omdurman, Iwo Jima, Okinawa. It’s a straight line.
Negotiations were concluded on September 2, 1945 when the United States Navy, that day the mightiest naval force ever assembled, sailed into Tokyo harbor. Admiral Nimitz completed the assignment given to him by President Roosevelt just after Pearl Harbor. “Don’t come back until it’s over.” The documents of surrender were signed. General MacArthur said, “These proceedings are closed”. 500 American Naval aviators overflew the USS Missouri. Indeed, the proceedings were closed.
On August 6, 1945 the United States pushed a large black chip to the center of the table. One plane, one bomb, one city. Getting no response the United States pushed another black chip to the center of the table on August 9th. One plane, one bomb, one city.
The saying “nolo tangere cum impecunis”, having been proved to be still valid, has given the world a bonus. Nuclear weapons are everywhere but they have never been used in war. It may end this year but we have had 65 years of Pax Atomica for which we must say
Deo Gratias
Kevin Smith
Saturday, August 14, 2010
William Kristol The Weekly Standard
August 14, 2010
William Kristol
The Weekly Standard
1150 17th Street, NW #505
Washington, DC 20036
RE: Tours, Lepanto, Omdurman…Manhattan?
Mr. Kristol,
I enclose a copy of my letter to Mayor Bloomberg about the mosque. There is another reason for the note and the stamp.
I congratulate you on your great good sense in picking your parents.
Your father’s essays in the Wall Street Journal in the 1970s were both a beacon and a bugle. A beacon because the truth is always the truth; a bugle because they summoned good men to renew our society.
It sounds a bit off plumb to say that I am a big fan of your mother. Suffice to say that I have given one of her books, The Moral Imagination, to 7 of my friends.
[Wikipedia lists your religion as Zionist. Is that the more radical wing of Reform Judaism or one the more moderate forms of Conservative Judaism? Would the cantor be an apostate Lubavitcher? Are the Israeli bonds sold at the breakfasts convertible?]
If we can’t get the Village People and the second string of La Cage aux Folles to put on one of their unforgettable rarees perhaps a “shovel ready” barbecue joint with 24 hour pole dance competitions can be arranged.
Kevin Smith
William Kristol
The Weekly Standard
1150 17th Street, NW #505
Washington, DC 20036
RE: Tours, Lepanto, Omdurman…Manhattan?
Mr. Kristol,
I enclose a copy of my letter to Mayor Bloomberg about the mosque. There is another reason for the note and the stamp.
I congratulate you on your great good sense in picking your parents.
Your father’s essays in the Wall Street Journal in the 1970s were both a beacon and a bugle. A beacon because the truth is always the truth; a bugle because they summoned good men to renew our society.
It sounds a bit off plumb to say that I am a big fan of your mother. Suffice to say that I have given one of her books, The Moral Imagination, to 7 of my friends.
[Wikipedia lists your religion as Zionist. Is that the more radical wing of Reform Judaism or one the more moderate forms of Conservative Judaism? Would the cantor be an apostate Lubavitcher? Are the Israeli bonds sold at the breakfasts convertible?]
If we can’t get the Village People and the second string of La Cage aux Folles to put on one of their unforgettable rarees perhaps a “shovel ready” barbecue joint with 24 hour pole dance competitions can be arranged.
Kevin Smith
Friday, August 6, 2010
Anthony Man & Brittany Wallman The Sun-Sentinel
August 2, 2010
Anthony Man & Brittany Wallman
The Sun-Sentinel
200 E. Las Olas Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: “Politics ain’t beanbag” – RIP. Some comments on your Page 1 Sun-Sentinel story about smack in the mouth campaigns.
AM & BW,
A word of caution is in order.
You say that an unnamed Republican opponent of Congressperson Debbie Wasserman-Schultz called her “Debbie Pelosi”. Having just come through 8 years of reasoned, civil discourse that began with “Bush is Hitler” and went downhill from there being called “Debbie Pelosi” is like being flogged by a feather.
Senator Robert Byrd, America’s most famous Exalted Kleagle, twice used the dreaded “N” word, the word that White folks dare not use, on national TV.
Jesse Jackson, and what in the name of “shovel ready” projects does that man do, said he was going to cut Obama’s “nuts” off. “Cojones”, a la Sarah Palin, and “nuts” are interchangeable.
The Republic survived.
The public arena of politics has no draftees. The choice to enter is made without coercion. Sharp tongues and sharp elbows prevail. If adults can raise their voices over an umpire’s call why can’t they raise their voices over taxes and immigration? The Committees of Correspondence were the precursor of today’s blogs.
#1 – The attraction of NASCAR and bullfights can be measured by the number of emergency vehicles in attendance Politics is a contact sport. No one has yet died from being called a thespian or a macaca. As far as I can tell there are no permanently displaced “huevos”.
#2 – The nastiest, dirtiest campaign in American political History happened in 1800. It is well to note that it earned that exalted status without electricity,
#3 – Your unnamed Republican opponent would be wise to think twice about criticizing Empress Congresschick Debbie Debbie. I did when she was just a Florida legislator. Hell hath no fury like a modern American Liberal rebuked. She sent Agent Thomas and Agent Pineva of the Florida Department of Law Enforcement to “investigate” me. One of them, Agent Pineva, actually told me to stop writing to her. I asked him about the twin dangers of a “chilling effect” on a “slippery slope”. My point was lost on this particular policeman.
#4 – When Miriam Oliphant sent Detective Kessling of the Broward Sheriff’s Office to “investigate” me the first thing he said to me was “You are not in trouble”. I said, “What do you mean I’m not in trouble? You have a badge and a fucking gun?”
The First Amendment begins with the majestic words “Congress shall make no law…”
To paraphrase my favorite African philosopher/Saint, “Lord, make me free but not just yet.”
Let the games begin. It can only get better.
Kevin Smith
Board Certified Life Coach
Anthony Man & Brittany Wallman
The Sun-Sentinel
200 E. Las Olas Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301
RE: “Politics ain’t beanbag” – RIP. Some comments on your Page 1 Sun-Sentinel story about smack in the mouth campaigns.
AM & BW,
A word of caution is in order.
You say that an unnamed Republican opponent of Congressperson Debbie Wasserman-Schultz called her “Debbie Pelosi”. Having just come through 8 years of reasoned, civil discourse that began with “Bush is Hitler” and went downhill from there being called “Debbie Pelosi” is like being flogged by a feather.
Senator Robert Byrd, America’s most famous Exalted Kleagle, twice used the dreaded “N” word, the word that White folks dare not use, on national TV.
Jesse Jackson, and what in the name of “shovel ready” projects does that man do, said he was going to cut Obama’s “nuts” off. “Cojones”, a la Sarah Palin, and “nuts” are interchangeable.
The Republic survived.
The public arena of politics has no draftees. The choice to enter is made without coercion. Sharp tongues and sharp elbows prevail. If adults can raise their voices over an umpire’s call why can’t they raise their voices over taxes and immigration? The Committees of Correspondence were the precursor of today’s blogs.
#1 – The attraction of NASCAR and bullfights can be measured by the number of emergency vehicles in attendance Politics is a contact sport. No one has yet died from being called a thespian or a macaca. As far as I can tell there are no permanently displaced “huevos”.
#2 – The nastiest, dirtiest campaign in American political History happened in 1800. It is well to note that it earned that exalted status without electricity,
#3 – Your unnamed Republican opponent would be wise to think twice about criticizing Empress Congresschick Debbie Debbie. I did when she was just a Florida legislator. Hell hath no fury like a modern American Liberal rebuked. She sent Agent Thomas and Agent Pineva of the Florida Department of Law Enforcement to “investigate” me. One of them, Agent Pineva, actually told me to stop writing to her. I asked him about the twin dangers of a “chilling effect” on a “slippery slope”. My point was lost on this particular policeman.
#4 – When Miriam Oliphant sent Detective Kessling of the Broward Sheriff’s Office to “investigate” me the first thing he said to me was “You are not in trouble”. I said, “What do you mean I’m not in trouble? You have a badge and a fucking gun?”
The First Amendment begins with the majestic words “Congress shall make no law…”
To paraphrase my favorite African philosopher/Saint, “Lord, make me free but not just yet.”
Let the games begin. It can only get better.
Kevin Smith
Board Certified Life Coach
Fareed Zakaria The Washington Post
August 2, 2010
Fareed Zakaria
The Washington Post
1150 15th Street NW
Washington, DC 20010
RE: So smart you’re dumb. I guess that’s why the Washington Post hired you. Some comments on your article about raising taxes.
Mr. Zakaria,
I could say that there is no record anywhere or anytime of a country taxing itself to prosperity.
I could say that Keynes, an economist more quoted than read, will spin in his grave like a Whirling Dervish once he finds out that elite ohmadahns want to raise taxes in a recession. Worse still, they want to do it in his name.
I could say that anytime a government has cut marginal personal tax rates – The reign of the 5 Emperors, America 1921, Germany 1947, America 1962, Hong Kong 1965, America 1982, America 2002, all the countries that used to be behind the Iron Curtain 1989 to today – the economy has grown, the people have prospered, and freedom has expanded geometrically.
I could say that cutting spending means that taking less money from its people means that people - the Horror, the Horror – can choose what to do with their own money.
I could say all of the above but I won’t.
The reason is simple.
You are so God Damn smart you are dumb beyond mere words.
You are on track for a Pulitzer Prize.
Before that happens I have a prize for you.
You are hereby named
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
It is an honor not given lightly. You get it the old fashioned way. You have to earn it.
You have. Wear your laurels proudly.
Kevin Smith
PS – “Bill Clinton raised taxes in 1992 and ushered in a period of extraordinarily robust growth” is Guinness Book of Records wrong as to fact and conclusion. Clinton couldn’t have raised taxes in 1992 because he wasn’t President. The “period of extraordinarily robust growth” began with the seating of a Republican Congress in 1995. An empirical case can be made for it being the continuation of the “extraordinarily robust growth” that began with Reagan’s tax cuts in 1982. [No mention of Reagan can be made without giving proper credit to his predecessor, Jimmy Carter. Easily the worst President of the 20th century, a man who was nasty but not tough, a CEO couldn’t find sand at the beach, his one great accomplishment was that he made it easy for the great Reagan to succeed him. While you were busy becoming so smart that you could become Homerically dumb you probably didn’t have time for any Logic courses. Your reading assignment, you twit, – that means look it up – is to deconstruct “Correlation is not Causation”.]
Fareed Zakaria
The Washington Post
1150 15th Street NW
Washington, DC 20010
RE: So smart you’re dumb. I guess that’s why the Washington Post hired you. Some comments on your article about raising taxes.
Mr. Zakaria,
I could say that there is no record anywhere or anytime of a country taxing itself to prosperity.
I could say that Keynes, an economist more quoted than read, will spin in his grave like a Whirling Dervish once he finds out that elite ohmadahns want to raise taxes in a recession. Worse still, they want to do it in his name.
I could say that anytime a government has cut marginal personal tax rates – The reign of the 5 Emperors, America 1921, Germany 1947, America 1962, Hong Kong 1965, America 1982, America 2002, all the countries that used to be behind the Iron Curtain 1989 to today – the economy has grown, the people have prospered, and freedom has expanded geometrically.
I could say that cutting spending means that taking less money from its people means that people - the Horror, the Horror – can choose what to do with their own money.
I could say all of the above but I won’t.
The reason is simple.
You are so God Damn smart you are dumb beyond mere words.
You are on track for a Pulitzer Prize.
Before that happens I have a prize for you.
You are hereby named
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
It is an honor not given lightly. You get it the old fashioned way. You have to earn it.
You have. Wear your laurels proudly.
Kevin Smith
PS – “Bill Clinton raised taxes in 1992 and ushered in a period of extraordinarily robust growth” is Guinness Book of Records wrong as to fact and conclusion. Clinton couldn’t have raised taxes in 1992 because he wasn’t President. The “period of extraordinarily robust growth” began with the seating of a Republican Congress in 1995. An empirical case can be made for it being the continuation of the “extraordinarily robust growth” that began with Reagan’s tax cuts in 1982. [No mention of Reagan can be made without giving proper credit to his predecessor, Jimmy Carter. Easily the worst President of the 20th century, a man who was nasty but not tough, a CEO couldn’t find sand at the beach, his one great accomplishment was that he made it easy for the great Reagan to succeed him. While you were busy becoming so smart that you could become Homerically dumb you probably didn’t have time for any Logic courses. Your reading assignment, you twit, – that means look it up – is to deconstruct “Correlation is not Causation”.]
Stephen L. Goldstein The Sun-Sentinel
August 1, 2010
Stephen L. Goldstein
The Sun-Sentinel
200 E. Las Olas Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33316
RE: On whyy the upturned neck always awaits the ax – Some comments on why the proletariat, the ubermenschen if you will, seem to always act in a way that vexes the good and kind wizard, AKA Goldstein.
My dear Professor,
No one ever said that being a modern American Liberal, particularly in a world where “stones are hard and water is wet”, in a world still subject to the iron laws surrounding gravity, would be easy.
As always, you are making your point, as is said in Vegas, the hard way.
Edmund Burke, alas for you, the Father of Conservatism, said “If men were angels no government would be necessary”. [He also said that the conflict between freedom and order was ongoing but that is a matter for another time.]
You cite an example of redistricting after the 2000 Census that is both egregious and Republican, as if the terms were interchangeable. You say that the lines were drawn as to make a district so Cuban that Ricky Ricardo would be elected should he present himself to the electorate.
Perhaps you should take a peek at the redistricting after the 1990 Census. That was the one that locked up – so far for 20 years – suburban White Republican districts. The quo for that quid was the creation of districts so Black that OJ Simpson would be elected should he present himself to the electorate.
In a world of moral relativism where Black and White differences are not appreciated it’s good to see that some things are still Black and White.
The reality of politics in a free society is that compromise on the edges is what enables the caravan to move on. The Federalist Papers, particularly #10, speaks of “factions” resolving their differences through, forgive me, politics.
The difference between what exists in the political arena, an arena straight from the agora, another gift for which we should give great thanks to those Dead White European Males, and what exists in Goldstein’s parallel dream universe, a universe where the anthem is “Kumbaya” and the flag is plaid, is like planning for a picnic. Climate is what we expect; weather is what we get.
Your point about people not knowing who is on the Supreme Court is well taken. It sounds like you secretly wish for a return to literacy tests, particularly if you get to grade them. Nothing like Goldstein’s thumb on the electoral scale to insure that only the right people would be elected. It would be an updated version of Cook County vote counting. Since I had an issue decided by the Supreme Court you can call me if you need to know anything about the Justices or their procedures. [One of my favorite cases is Gibbons v Ogden. Since I am from New Jersey anything that touches on the Garden State interests me. That case was about a ferry route, politics, and the glue, corruption, that bound them.]
When I see the flow of human traffic going South from Arizona, when I see people swimming to Cuba, I’ll know that we have gone over to the Dark Side.
“Democracy’, as Churchill, a man never to be confused with anything or anyone remotely modern American Liberal, said, “is the worst form of government except for all the others that have ever been tried.”
I have no way of knowing how good a man you are. In your world goals and efforts are all that counts. In the real world, the one with time and tides, results trump all else.
I do know that if the curtain is pulled back you are not a very good wizard.
Kevin Smith
Board Certified Life Coach
PS – The United States government seems to have misplaced 6,600 veterans. To get permanent residence at Arlington Cemetery first and foremost you have to be dead. To get past the front gate you have to be dead and in a casket or urn. When the roll is called someone else has to answer. They are never going to go AWOL. The search can be limited to the 625 acre plot just West of the Potomac River. I state and restate the obvious. If the government can’t take care of 6,600 dead Americans how can we expect them to take care of the medical needs of 306,000,000 living Americans?
Stephen L. Goldstein
The Sun-Sentinel
200 E. Las Olas Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33316
RE: On whyy the upturned neck always awaits the ax – Some comments on why the proletariat, the ubermenschen if you will, seem to always act in a way that vexes the good and kind wizard, AKA Goldstein.
My dear Professor,
No one ever said that being a modern American Liberal, particularly in a world where “stones are hard and water is wet”, in a world still subject to the iron laws surrounding gravity, would be easy.
As always, you are making your point, as is said in Vegas, the hard way.
Edmund Burke, alas for you, the Father of Conservatism, said “If men were angels no government would be necessary”. [He also said that the conflict between freedom and order was ongoing but that is a matter for another time.]
You cite an example of redistricting after the 2000 Census that is both egregious and Republican, as if the terms were interchangeable. You say that the lines were drawn as to make a district so Cuban that Ricky Ricardo would be elected should he present himself to the electorate.
Perhaps you should take a peek at the redistricting after the 1990 Census. That was the one that locked up – so far for 20 years – suburban White Republican districts. The quo for that quid was the creation of districts so Black that OJ Simpson would be elected should he present himself to the electorate.
In a world of moral relativism where Black and White differences are not appreciated it’s good to see that some things are still Black and White.
The reality of politics in a free society is that compromise on the edges is what enables the caravan to move on. The Federalist Papers, particularly #10, speaks of “factions” resolving their differences through, forgive me, politics.
The difference between what exists in the political arena, an arena straight from the agora, another gift for which we should give great thanks to those Dead White European Males, and what exists in Goldstein’s parallel dream universe, a universe where the anthem is “Kumbaya” and the flag is plaid, is like planning for a picnic. Climate is what we expect; weather is what we get.
Your point about people not knowing who is on the Supreme Court is well taken. It sounds like you secretly wish for a return to literacy tests, particularly if you get to grade them. Nothing like Goldstein’s thumb on the electoral scale to insure that only the right people would be elected. It would be an updated version of Cook County vote counting. Since I had an issue decided by the Supreme Court you can call me if you need to know anything about the Justices or their procedures. [One of my favorite cases is Gibbons v Ogden. Since I am from New Jersey anything that touches on the Garden State interests me. That case was about a ferry route, politics, and the glue, corruption, that bound them.]
When I see the flow of human traffic going South from Arizona, when I see people swimming to Cuba, I’ll know that we have gone over to the Dark Side.
“Democracy’, as Churchill, a man never to be confused with anything or anyone remotely modern American Liberal, said, “is the worst form of government except for all the others that have ever been tried.”
I have no way of knowing how good a man you are. In your world goals and efforts are all that counts. In the real world, the one with time and tides, results trump all else.
I do know that if the curtain is pulled back you are not a very good wizard.
Kevin Smith
Board Certified Life Coach
PS – The United States government seems to have misplaced 6,600 veterans. To get permanent residence at Arlington Cemetery first and foremost you have to be dead. To get past the front gate you have to be dead and in a casket or urn. When the roll is called someone else has to answer. They are never going to go AWOL. The search can be limited to the 625 acre plot just West of the Potomac River. I state and restate the obvious. If the government can’t take care of 6,600 dead Americans how can we expect them to take care of the medical needs of 306,000,000 living Americans?
Beth Reinhard The Miami Herald
August 1, 2010
Beth Reinhard
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 33132-1693
RE: “Gee thanks, Mom. I always wanted to be a Congressman. I’ll make you real proud when I become a Senator on my own” or so says Kenny Boy in your profile of him in today’s Miami Herald Page One story.
Ms. Reinhard,
You say Congressman Meek’s opponent is “bare knuckled”. If all he says is that Momma helped her Sonny Boy the campaign of 1800 will continue to be the meanest, dirtiest campaign in American political History. And that was done without electricity. Actually she willed her seat to him and she did it without dying. I guess that means she opposes the death tax.
If memory serves all criticism of President Bush began by comparing him to Hitler. After that it went down hill. All that his mother did was to rent her Rolodex out for $8,000 am month plus a brand new “no carbon footprint” Escalade. Small potatoes.
If that’s all she did she would hardly fit the paradigmatic template chiseled out by the active grifter members of the Black Congressional Caucus. Congressman Rangel and Congresswoman Waters leap to mind. Since I am from New Jersey let me add Congressman Payne to the list of pols “who seen their opportunities and took’em”.
About your article…
If, as you say, Congressman Meek’s sit in at Governor Bush’s office led to “a statewide campaign to register black voters” would it be post racial of me to ask how that went. Jesse Jackson makes a good living every 4 years getting a sack filled with cash and a credit card from the Democratic Party to register Black voters. By now there should be more Black voters than there are Black citizens. If Cook County can have certain districts where the vote total is 112% of the population who is to say that Black voter registration can’t be 138% of the Black population?
My question is simple.
Why isn’t this electoral power used like the “condo voters” use theirs?
Congressman Meek is on the Ways and Means Committee. Why didn’t you ask him if he learned anything from Cash Cow Charlie, the reigning Artful Dodger who doubles as the Chairman?
Congressman Meek was graduated from Florida A&M University in 1989. He is a month shy of his 44th birthday. His student loans have been outstanding for 21 years. How much does he owe on his student loans? Why hasn’t he paid them?
You say his two children are in private school. What is wrong with the public schools where he lives? Why don’t they attend them?
You quote Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz thus: “If I have a brother in arms, a brother in the causes that matter to us and who represents more closely the values and reasons I ran for office in the first place, it’s Kendrick Meek.”
Her three children attend a private school whose annual tuition times three boggles the mind of people in the real world. It could feed one of the poorer tent cities in Haiti for a week, maybe two, if we leave the fish heads in the stew. Maybe that’s why she voted like Congresswoman Waters to give her husband’s bank a special deal.
In the years that they both have been in Congress not one vote has ever been cast by either of them against the egregious excesses of public education. If it so God Damn good why don’t they send their kids to one?
The only possible explanation is that if you are a card carrying modern American Liberal you never have to say you’re sorry...
If Kenny Boy wins the August Primary the only way he stays competitive in the November election would be if he can prove that his opponent was financed by the Taliban to blow up the BP well
Kevin Smith
Board Certified Life Coach
Beth Reinhard
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 33132-1693
RE: “Gee thanks, Mom. I always wanted to be a Congressman. I’ll make you real proud when I become a Senator on my own” or so says Kenny Boy in your profile of him in today’s Miami Herald Page One story.
Ms. Reinhard,
You say Congressman Meek’s opponent is “bare knuckled”. If all he says is that Momma helped her Sonny Boy the campaign of 1800 will continue to be the meanest, dirtiest campaign in American political History. And that was done without electricity. Actually she willed her seat to him and she did it without dying. I guess that means she opposes the death tax.
If memory serves all criticism of President Bush began by comparing him to Hitler. After that it went down hill. All that his mother did was to rent her Rolodex out for $8,000 am month plus a brand new “no carbon footprint” Escalade. Small potatoes.
If that’s all she did she would hardly fit the paradigmatic template chiseled out by the active grifter members of the Black Congressional Caucus. Congressman Rangel and Congresswoman Waters leap to mind. Since I am from New Jersey let me add Congressman Payne to the list of pols “who seen their opportunities and took’em”.
About your article…
If, as you say, Congressman Meek’s sit in at Governor Bush’s office led to “a statewide campaign to register black voters” would it be post racial of me to ask how that went. Jesse Jackson makes a good living every 4 years getting a sack filled with cash and a credit card from the Democratic Party to register Black voters. By now there should be more Black voters than there are Black citizens. If Cook County can have certain districts where the vote total is 112% of the population who is to say that Black voter registration can’t be 138% of the Black population?
My question is simple.
Why isn’t this electoral power used like the “condo voters” use theirs?
Congressman Meek is on the Ways and Means Committee. Why didn’t you ask him if he learned anything from Cash Cow Charlie, the reigning Artful Dodger who doubles as the Chairman?
Congressman Meek was graduated from Florida A&M University in 1989. He is a month shy of his 44th birthday. His student loans have been outstanding for 21 years. How much does he owe on his student loans? Why hasn’t he paid them?
You say his two children are in private school. What is wrong with the public schools where he lives? Why don’t they attend them?
You quote Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz thus: “If I have a brother in arms, a brother in the causes that matter to us and who represents more closely the values and reasons I ran for office in the first place, it’s Kendrick Meek.”
Her three children attend a private school whose annual tuition times three boggles the mind of people in the real world. It could feed one of the poorer tent cities in Haiti for a week, maybe two, if we leave the fish heads in the stew. Maybe that’s why she voted like Congresswoman Waters to give her husband’s bank a special deal.
In the years that they both have been in Congress not one vote has ever been cast by either of them against the egregious excesses of public education. If it so God Damn good why don’t they send their kids to one?
The only possible explanation is that if you are a card carrying modern American Liberal you never have to say you’re sorry...
If Kenny Boy wins the August Primary the only way he stays competitive in the November election would be if he can prove that his opponent was financed by the Taliban to blow up the BP well
Kevin Smith
Board Certified Life Coach
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