Margaret Carlson Bloomberg News

August 27, 2010

Margaret Carlson
Bloomberg News
1399 New York Avenue
Washington, DC 20005

RE: That little voice that says there is no statute of limitations on saying horrible things is back…again.

Maggie! Peg! Whatever,

Time flies when you are really enjoying yourself, doesn’t it? Who can believe that it’s been 10 years since I asked you a la Jay Leno & Hugh Grant “What were you thinking”?

Leno’s question was about Grant getting a hummer from a self employed street lady. Since Big Bill Clinton, the King of the One-Eyed Trouser Snakes [until Tiger] had already told us that “Eating ain’t cheating” I never understood what all the fuss was about.

My question was why you said American military personnel serving overseas were, to quote you, “tax dodgers”. If memory serves there were some people, all of whom were in the employ of Vice President Alpha Gump, who said that GIs serving “in harm’s way” shouldn’t have their votes counted.

I am from Bayonne, NJ. My wife has family in Chicago, Illinois. We could tell you stories about voting that Rod Serling would have had trouble putting into a 30 minute format. They were not the exception but, rather, the rule. The common denominator is the Democratic Party. Whodathunk?

Anyway, the point of this love note is to tell you “that while the light is left to burn the vilest sinner may yet return”. You have a chance to redeem your honor.

A number of states have applied for an exemption to the Federal law that says, “Gosh, GI votes should be counted”.

Why don’t you use your bully pulpit as a partisan preacher to demand “one man – one vote” even if the man is dodging IEDs while carrying an M-16?

This week you s said that Lord Barack the Beneficent is smarter than the average bear. In fact, you said he was smarter than all the bears. That’s why I am confident that we will find those 7 or was it 8 missing states that nobody else knows bupkis about.

Maybe the soon to be discovered Austrian/English dictionary will tell us where they are. My vote goes to fly over country. North Iowa, South Kansas, Oz, West North Dakota, East South Dakota, Middle Arkansas – Hey! We’re almost there, if you know what I’m saying.

As soon as I see you demanding in a most public and persuasive manner that wearing camos does not take away your right to vote I will grant you a retroactive plenary indulgence. It will cover all the temporal punishment due to your updating of “Tommy Atkins”.

“Honor is a gift we give ourselves”

If I tell you it’s time to “man up” will that make me a misogynist?



Kevin Smith


PS – Do you still do your reading on the D-4?