December 27, 2016

8 years after being promised hope and change, 8 years after highlighting of a the missing 7 or was it 8 states, 8 years after trying to find the Holy Grail of missing reference tomes – the elusive Austrian-English dictionary, 8 years after trying to find a seas and cooling the planet”, 8 years after setting uncrossable red lines only to have them crossed with no – repeat – no consequences, 8 years after trying to repeal all the laws governing gravity, 8 years of following in the footsteps of 3 other community activists; viz. Lenin, Hitler, and Lennon, President B. Hussein Obama has done something positive.

He has shattered forever the shibboleth that Jews are smart.

Forget about not being smart. How about being Homerically can’t find your ass using both your hands while standing in a phone booth stupid? For a century American Jews have turned their eyes away from the inconvenient truth that modern American Liberals, AKA Democrats, are bigoted racists. Beyond that they are unprincipled, hypocritical bigoted racists.

If we are to believe Justice Thurgood Marshall T. Woodrow Wilson was the worst public servant in the 20^th century. What venom he didn’t spray at Blacks he saved for Jews. He premiered “Birth of a Nation” in the White House. He was the first of 3 Presidents in 48 years – all Democrats – to promise not to send American boys to fight in foreign wars. How did that work out?

When the Saint Louis couldn’t land in America with its cargo of 900 Jews the next stop was the train station at Hamburg where the night coach to Auschwitz was held for them. Look it up.

Vice President Garner and Vice President Barkley were not friends of B’nai B’rith. For that matter, Senator Sparkman – Adlai’s running mate – never sat shiva. Ditto for Senator Gore, Senator Ervin, Senator Stennis, Senator Talmadge, Senator Eastland, Senator Smathers, Senator Fullbright, Senator Russell, Senator Bilbo….loyal Democrats all. 

There is a statue of an American Congressman in Israel. He is known as a “righteous gentile” because when President Truman could find no Democrats willing to help him recognize Israel in 1947 he turned to a Republican, Robert Kean of New Jersey. There are no Democrats 

They passed the Davis-Bacon Act, the most anti-Black law passed on the Federal level in the 20^th century, and filibustered all the anti-lynching laws. 

I can’t mention Congressman Keith Ellison, a candidate to run the Democratic Party, without giving him a gold medal for hypocrisy. If he ran under hi any his real name, Ibn “Death to the Infidels” Khomeini, he might lose some votes in Fly-Over country.

Thus, when Secretary Jay Forbes Kerry, acting on the direct orders of his boss, ordered Samantha Power, US Ambassador to the UN, to vote “present”, a vote akin to a knife in the back of Israel, it was no big deal. Acorns never fall far from the tree.

You don’t have to like lox, and if you don’t like lox your life is lessened, to know that Israel, along with Athens and Rome, formed the 3 legged stool that became Western Civilization. It is a self-evident fact, empirically observable, that the Judeo-Christian tradition does not admit to any Islamic influences. Period.

 The thought that James Madison was influenced by Mohammed or any other Sheikh of Araby is absurdly offensive and asinine. Any culture that countenances slavery, that allows female genital mutilation, that turns a blind eye to Dancing Boys, that beheads and crucifies Christians, that defenestrates homosexuals, is denied a seat at the table of civilized people.

The next edition of the OED will feature American Jews holding hands singing Kumbaya while pledging allegiance to the Democratic Party under the heading “really, really dumb asses”.

Maybe Barack is smarter than he acts.

He figured that the modern American Liberal Jews wouldn’t notice when he slipped the Israelis industrial strength hemlock. Just like when Woody Allen said his temple was so Reformed that the Cantor was a Nazi.

Oy!

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

December 28, 2016

Some Mikvahs for men?

Secretary Jay Forbes Kerry today said, “Israel can be either Democratic or Jewish”. This guy has some moxie – that’s balls for Goyim readers. He has one sterling lifetime achievement: He married up…twice. And, by the by, It’s been 13 years since he promised to release his DD214. In fairness he has had a lot on his mind.  Dodging the state sales tax on the $8.000,000 yacht his wife, Mad Cap Gypsy Chick Tereza, the great granddaughter of East African slave traders – Do you think her grandad worked with Obama’s forebears in the people relocation business? Somebody had to gather the crops and transport them to the coast – had built for him in New Zealand took a lot of time. Posing for the Spandex ads took time too. 

No sense being half-assed ad hominem.

The Democratic Party is like Lucy holding the football. The American Jews who defy Logic and offend History, who proceed lemming like to the polls to proclaim their blind fealty to them every election day, are like Charley Brown on industrial strength steroids. Not only do they voluntarily jump into the “Kill the Jews” electoral Cuisinart they encourage Gentiles to do the same. Schmucks. Worse, sad-sacked, sorry-assed schmucks. Of course she will drop the ball. It’s what modern American Liberals do. Their favorite color, plaid, gives them no other choice.

[Permit me to re-introduce Al Nechemie. CPA to the stars and me. Devoted fan of single malt whiskys. Traveling companion to London and New Mexico. A man for whom the word “elegant” was invented. The only man I know who voted for Henry Wallace and the man who introduced me to the “Bag Test” and to the simple question “But is it good for the Jews”?]

It is not good for the Jews. 

“Just because a wolf shows you his teeth it doesn’t mean he’s smiling.”

Just because Ramadan cards begin with “Death to the Infidels” and just because WOG audience break out in an a capella rendition of “Kill the Jews” between acts of the latest “Dancing Boys” review it doesn’t mean they’re bad people, right?

Anyone who believes they are is a red-neck wanabee Trump-loving bigoted racist. 

Is it too late to say, “Stop pissing on my back and telling me it’s rain”?

When someone announces they are coming to your house to kill you, rape your wife, crucify your son, enslave your daughter, shoot your dog, steal your car, sur scourge your neighbor, piss in your soup, poison your well, all when shouting “Allah Akbar” a prudent man would say “Attention must be paid”.

Or maybe it is time for Obama, Biden, Kerry, Pelosi, Schumer New York Times, Move On.com, Occupy Wall Street, and Black Lives Matter to say Kaddish.

Meantime, MapQuest the nearest Mikvah.

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

December 23, 2016

Tom Wolfe was right.

“All Jews have one faggot gene,”

Ivanka Trump Kushner was on a plane with her husband, serious Jew Jared Kushner, and their 3 children when she was confronted and threatened by a modern American Liberal whose political forebears believed - fervently, deeply, and publically for 22 months - that Adolph Hitler was an OK guy. Sure, he had some rough edges but their hero, Joe Stalin, liked him. That was enough for them.

He verbally abused Mrs. Kushner, in front of her children, because her father will soon be the President of the United States. What else would you expect from a card carrying modern American Liberal? 

I can think of 20 guys from Bayonne, not all of whom were goyim, who would have beaten the shit out of him. To tell this guy “Cut it out” would be like telling a rabid dog to stay on the porch. The guy should have had his ass kicked so hard he would have had to take his socks down to take a dump.

We’ll talk about Edmund Burke and James Madison later. 

KEVIN SMITH

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

July 24, 2016

[With thanks to Ben Zimmer for his column in today’s Wall Street Journal]

To the person in charge of gender neutrality on whom we rely for the correct word in today’s uber sensitive society.

What the Hell do we do about “boycott”?

I “led the fight” to make “male mail men” person persons.

The tide may be turning on why “man-hole cover” is not verboten. “Person hole” is a strong contender but I prefer “human hole”. Since the question of Mede versus Persian still exists I’ll let the market decide.

I understand you have added Professor Irwin Corey to your staff. Good move. Maybe he can clear things up, particularly for a confused “deplorable”.

How about castraticott?

KS

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

PS – Some good news on the never ending assault on the “glass ceiling”. I watched enough of the Iowa/Rutgers game to give a thin voiced chick a leg up, so to speak. Football fans of a certain age may recall Chris Schenkle as the worst football TV game announcer ever. It’s time to take his bust off the shelf in the media Pantheon. Congratulations to Beth Cowins! She is this generation’s worst announcer. Nobody will win silver. Maybe we should bolt her bust down in anticipation of her being there a long, long time.  Could this be a good sign for Hillary?

July 25, 2016

“As a Catholic…” is immediately followed by a ginormous BUT with the BUT symbolizing the infamous “other shoe”, a shoe the size of a 7 League boot circling just out of reach, gathering speed, about to enter the arena like an ascendant gas guzzling Concorde.

Nominal Roman Catholics who become modern American Liberals have “As a Catholic” tattooed on the inside of their eyelids so there is no chance of phumfering as they describe the Map Quest directions on their personal road to Avernus. Having tossed off the moral certitude of the “permanent things” the need to fill the aching void of believing in nothing is filled by the overwhelming impulse to believe in anything. 

The issue, the anvil on which copper bottomed, iron sheathed tautologies are formed, is abortion.

It is empirically self-evident that we can both have our cake and eat it. What Roman Catholic politicians do is to eat their cake and then proudly proclaim that they still have it.

Mario Cuomo, the notorious Roman Catholic Governor of New York, gave the 1991 commencement address at Notre Dame University. It was great theatre, a stroke of pure genius, to do so. Once you have gone over to the dark side, once you have convinced yourself that since the first death didn’t matter, the 60,000,000 that followed it since 1973 don’t mean much either. God’s Holy Trousers but it’s not really important is it? It’s not a big issue like same-sex bathrooms, right? And besides, almost 40% of them are non-Caucasian. Margaret Sanger would have been proud. Her pupil, Hitler, would have been tumescent.

Governor Cuomo said, “As a Catholic”, he was personally opposed to abortion. As Governor he had no choice but to permit it, it being the “law of the land”.

I wrote to him asking what he would have done if Dredd Scott had been captured on his watch. Logic would dictate that while he was personally opposed to slavery he had no choice but to put him on the midnight train to Georgia, it being the Law of the Land

He never replied. And, like father like son, neither has Andrew Cuomo, the current Governor of New York. 

Comes now Governor/Senator Tim Kaine to the lists.  [I am sure there is a reasonable explanation, hopefully short of perjury, for him taking $160,000 in swag and pelf from office seekers and contract petitioners. And, since Hillary had no problem with it, I shan’t mention it.]

If Berne’s assorted loons and wing nuts, along with run of the mill nihilists, don’t burn the place down Kaine, a proud Roman Catholic, proclaim this week that while he t find, and flush procedures, it being the law of the land.

Socrates, Saint Paul, Saint Thomas More, Thoreau, Gandhi, Kolbe, Martin Luther King, and Mandela do not – repeat – do not call your offices. 

Speaking of the law of the land, it didn’t stop Bill Ayers, Obama’s pal from the White hood, from blowing up a building and killing an occupant. With apologies to Orwell and making some noun adjustments some law of the land laws are not as equal as other law of the land laws

Kaine can ask Nancy Pelosi, Barbara Mikulski, any randomly chosen Kennedy, and the ghost of Senator Moynihan – assuming he will come when summoned – or any other dishonest Catholic politician to square the circle.

Just keep pushing and swallowing hard and hope the scar tissue becomes bullet proof. Besides, this time we will make Midnight Basketball work the way it was meant to, the way it was supposed to, the way that modern American Liberals really, really knew it was going to.

After all, what could go wrong?

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

PS – Don’t worry. Debbie’s turn in the barrel is coming.

July 19, 2016

“Never get in a pissing contest with a skunk”

I have been reading George Orwell since I was in high school. [Hint – That was back when the Democrats warned us of the Eisenhower caused “Missile Gap”. It was also the time when Democrats couldn’t wait to cut taxes. Give up? Send a SASE] I have no memory, nor does Google, of Orwell ever saying that.

The reason why I mention the above is because of the knotted knickers kerfuffle that was caused by Mrs. Trump’s speech. For the 30 years – it all began with Robert Bork – that I have been setting pen to paper to slay the dragons set loose on the world by the “Trousered Apes” who are the suicide bombers of the wing-nut “moon bat” Left, I have always tried either to source or set off in quotation marks any particularly clever phrase, particularly if I know it’s not mine.

How many ways can she say that her husband is a good earner and a great guy? That he puts the seat down? That “a promise made is a debt unpaid”? That “the early bird gets the worm”? 

Which brings us back to Orwell…..

“The obvious and true have to be defended.

Truisms are true. Hold on to that. The solid world

exists. Its laws do not change. Stones are hard,

water is wet. Objects unsupported fall toward the

Earth’s center. If that is granted all else follows.”

Vice President Curley Biden, he of the Chia Pet hair and porcelain molars and ivory bi-cuspids, not only cribbed the trope of Neil Kinnock, British Labour Leader, he took his whole Goddamn speech. Try as he might the mildly Cockney, quasi Welsh, ne’er do well Midlands style was beyond both his pay scale and vocal range. Yet, and may I add, to his credit he would whistle “Men of Harlech” every chance he got. Forbidden by the Speech Police from having a lawn jockey he kept a Gurkha on his front porch. Kinnock had the Herculean task of sitting across from Lady Thatcher when she was Prime Minister. The Wednesday PM’s Q&A session proved not just the equality of English women but their overall superiority. It is a trait that has not yet arrived in this country’s political arena. And yes, I mean Hillary. A Hecate, yes. A harridan, yes. A heroine, no.

Curley Biden said his dad mined coal for 10 hours and came away from the pit face and played un-American football for a few hours. And now we know why God led us to the discovery of the majestic word “bullshit”.

The fact of the matter is that Curley, Sr was not “unlucky in life’s lottery”. That term was introduced by Democratic Congressman Richard Gephardt, AKA “Howdy Doody”. Curley, Sr. tried a few things in business that didn’t work. He kept trying. The ones that did enabled him to raise his family in a very large house. . All his children   went to private schools, including the posh, elitist, of course Whites only, Auchmere Academy. It was known then as Delaware’s answer to D.C’s Sidwell-Friends. I can’t get independent confirmation that he was called “Cheese Dick” by his classmates. If I do I will pass it on.

The only “blue collar” that Curley wore was from Brooks Brothers.

Churchill said if he could have but one book it would be Bartlett’s.

John F. Kennedy cribbed from Arthur Schlesinger, Jr.

Obama cribbed from Deval Patrick.

Mrs. Obama cribbed from Saul Alinsky.

All liberals, especially modern American ones, share one trait. Gavin MacInnes says that deep down,” they know that they are full of shit”. That’s why the Vice President and the former Secretary of State are lying sacks of foetid eel shit.

And you won’t find that in Orwell either.

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

PS – If we ever find the phantom “lock box”, the one made famous by VP Alpha Gump, will it hold the answer to which comes first? The Summer of Recovery, Godot, or the autumnal equinox? And how is that Hope and Change ca-ca working out? Modern American Liberals loooove Public schools with one tiny exception. Their kids don’t go there. Their kids, kids like the Obamas and the Gores, go to the $60,000+ Sidwell-Friends School. Some tenants of public housing have that option. Most don’t.  Add hypocrisy to the Bill of Particulars.

July 17, 2016

Mitchell Berger, Esq.

Berger Singerman

350 Las Olas Blvd.

Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301

RE: Some comments on your egregiously imbecilic mini OP-ED in today’s Sun Sentinel

Mr. Berger,

“I am a member of the Democratic platform committee and 

had some involvement in the energy and environment plank.”

The Sun Sentinel

Today

You

Pray tell, sir, but is that long hand for “I am a moron”?

For any fan of the Trivium, for any believer in the scientific method, for any person who believes that there is a difference between feelings and ideas,  a difference that would require 7 League Boots on steroids to span, for anyone who knows that while science is “settled” shouldn’t we keep looking for Ptolemy and Hoyle, for anyone who dares to utter the heretical words “Prove it” when confronted by “Trousered Apes” who revel in GCGWCCCD, your return to the arena where “Ideas Have Consequences” is most welcome. It is like an overload of mental Viagra

“I have watched my party evolve…”

op cit 

Does this “evolution” include acknowledging that Andrew Jackson, a Democratic President and a favorite of Arthur Schlesinger, Jr, made Redskin killing an acceptable group activity?

Does this “evolution” include acknowledging that the Democratic Party and the New York Times called Abraham Lincoln, a Republican “.President, a “baboon?

Does this “evolution” include acknowledging the fact that all the Jim Crow laws came about because of Democrat insistence?

Does this “evolution” acknowledge the vile bigotry and strident racism of T. Woodrow Wilson, a Democratic President?

Does this “evolution” acknowledge the fact that Wilson was the first of 3 Democratic Presidents in 48 years -1916, 1940, 1964 – to promise not to “send American boys to fight in foreign wars”?

Does this “evolution” acknowledge the bilious public displays of racism by Vice President Garner, by VP wanabee Sparkman, by Senator Bilbo, by Senator Stennis, by Senator Eastland, by Senator Smathers, by Senator Gore, by Senator Ervin? This is but a partial list but would you believe that they all, every last one of them, are Democrats?

“It is now up to us to embrace the future”

op cit

God’s Holy Trousers but if you actually said that please, please don’t operate heavy equipment or handle sharp objects. Does someone have your power of attorney?

-“Hope and change” had an 8 year run. How is that working out? Of course we must “embrace the future”. What better inanity for mush brained, neddy dunces, people like you, who pledge allegiance to the gravity defying principles of modern American Liberalism. After all, “it’s for the children”, isn’t it?

Please tell me you had a vasectomy. If you haven’t I’ll help pay for it. Shouldn’t that be on Page 1 of Obamacare?

Some housekeeping items:

#1 – Is this the year the Summer of Recovery arrives?

#2 – Have you insisted that associates must use public transit?

#3 – Have you stopped representing either side in waterfront transactions?

#4 – Have you turned off all the A/Cs in your office to undrown the polar bears?

Kevin Smith

PS – GCGWCCCD? GlobalCoolingGlobalWarmingClimateChangeClimateDestruction.

That’s the chronological chart of the “settled science” as presented by the charlatans and grifters who piss on the backs of the people and tell them it’s rain, you ohmadahn .I will cherish your continuous conflation of causation and correlation as if no one is watching.

July 5, 2016

Mayor Philip Levine

1700 Convention Center Drive

Miami Beach, FL 33139

Mr. Mayor, 

Up until the part when you said that Mrs. Clinton was “happy” to meet with the FBI you were conducting yourself like a good modern American Liberal lap dog. You never let facts interfere with your superbly scripted, talking points only, interview on the Maria Bartiromo show this morning.

That single line put you in early contention for the highly coveted award of

SMARMY BASTARD OF THE YEAR.

I can tell you from up close and personal experience that no one is ever “happy” to be on the receiving end of any questions asked by any government agency, particularly when you are under oath and the man on the other side of the table is not smiling.

Then you said that she “got” things done.

Shall we count the ways? OK, OK, just some of them.

Did you mean her successful uncovering of the “vast Right-Wing conspiracy”?

Did you mean her total support of the Defense of Marriage Act? 

How about that magical “reset” moment with the Russkie ambassador?

Her serpentine evasion of Serbian mortar shells in Bosnia?

Her daughter’s miraculous escape from death at the hands of Islamic terrorists on 9/11/01?

Her telling the mother of a dead American diplomat that she would “get” the murderer?

Her world class talent to cackle like a crazed bruja or bark like a bitch whelp in estrus? 

You used Yiddish terms on TV this morning. Maybe you can get some pictures of Hillary’s grandson’s briss. I can’t get any info on it. Assuming he had it done, it would be a true Summer of Recovery for the mohel, right?

One more thing.

I have read Michele Obama’s senior thesis on Black pulchritude in America. If she had not mastered tautologies she would have no thinking capacity at all. Martin Luther King’s dissertation at least had the benefit of having some great speeches in it. Bill Cosby’s work is unreadable. Dip it in lemon juice, nuke it in the microwave, and hold it up to the mirror and it still makes no sense. At the very least copies were available. 

Hillary Clinton, nee Rodham, wrote about Saul Alinsky, the noted community activist. You could get a pulled pork sandwich, some cold lobster, and 6 well iced Blue Points or Chincoteagues at the new grandson’s briss before you could read about her and Solly.

Can you get me a copy?

I saw you on “This Week in South Florida”, the Sunday morning talk show hosted superbly well by Michael Putney. You talk about how you are able to fight the rising sea levels, a phenomenon caused by polar bear drowning fossil fuel burning, by the use of super pumps. [Aren’t the vile Koch Brothers behind it?] Let me ask the question yet again. You and your employees have not answered my question.

Where does the water go?

If you pump it East it will come back quicker than you can get rid of it. Same with pumping it North. If you pump it South you are going to have a lot of pissed-off citizens of Homestead yelling at you. If you pump it West into Biscayne Bay may I see a copy of the environmental impact statement you filed? Will these super pumps adversely affect the manatees? We know that everything always adversely affects the manatees  [Can I announce my support of Darwin and the survival of the fittest and suggest it’s time for these useless sea slugs to go?] If guilty 1 %ers, mostly White, didn’t throw week old arugula at them they would starve so do you have plans to house the homeless manatees and retrain them?

Where the Hell does the water go?

Maybe you should ask Hillary. She “gets things done”, right?

Kevin Smith

PS – One more, one more last thing. Is it ISIS or is it ISIL? Which one is the JV? 

July 3, 2016

Senator Eleanor Sobel

2600 Hollywood Blvd.

Hollywood, FL 33020

Senator Sobel,

“Teaching is a profession, and teachers

Should be treated as professionals.”

The Sun Sentinel

Today

You

It would be like pole-axing a baby seal if I were to point out that no other profession, none whatsoever, takes July and August off from the swift completion of their appointed tasks. Plumbers, jet pilots, dermatologists, lawyers, hookers, ZIKA inspectors, loan sharks, community activists, saloon keepers, undertakers, beer salesmen, disc jockeys, politicians, literate curmudgeons, and columnists have to face the vagaries of a 12 month work schedule. Therefore I shan’t do it.

Here’s one way to make the profession better and more rewarding.

Napoleon would pick 3 poilus before a battle and charge them with cowardice. He would court-martial them, find them guilty, and execute them.   He said it “encouraged the others”. Try that in a “failing” school. After all, “it’s for the children”, isn’t it?

“Nuclear” Jack Welch, “Chainsaw” Al Neuarth, and Abraham Lincoln were professionals who did what they had to do to advance their agenda. In the case of Lincoln it took him 3 years and much blood before he found the right generals. When he did he repealed the Dred Scott decision.

The Sun Sentinel, having just emerged from bankruptcy, and faced with a hostile takeover, will shortly begin the practice of journalistic defenestration. The bleeding hearts will soon enter the world “where stones are hard and water is wet”. It is a world where professionals endure, prevail, and prosper. Or they don’t. It’s why score is kept. It’s why no Super Bowl will ever end in a scoreless tie.

Meantime here is another suggestion. 

Ulysses S. Grant said the best way to get rid of a bad law was to enforce it. Here’s my plan. All elected members of any governing body anywhere in Florida plus any government employee who earns a living in the educational morass must, with no exceptions, have all his children enrolled in the nearest public school. 

Watch how quickly the needle turns up.

Kevin Smith

July 1, 2016 

Maybe she’s right

Maybe it is time to “move on”.

At this point, “what difference does it make?”

Bear with me, por favor

Just a few questions before I go.

#1 – Did the video saying that Allah ain’t so Akbar cause the slaughter at Benghazi or was it a deliberate attack by non-moderate, non-peace loving Muslims?

#2 – The ambassador was a homosexual. His death was particularly gruesome, a la Matthew Shepherd and Jesse Dirkhising. Does that make it a hate crime?

#3 – Did you tell the mother of a murdered American, as you stood by his flag draped coffin,  that his death was caused by a video? Further, did you tell her that you would “get” the maker? You “got” him.

What crime was he charged with? Is he still in jail?

#4 – Maureen Dowd said of Cindy Sheehan –you remember, don’t you? – that a “mother who loses a child has absolute moral authority”. Was that an absolute universal truth or does it only apply when modern American Liberals use it “eclectically” to flog non-believers?

#5 - I hope Chelsea and the baby are doing well. Considering that she was able to dodge bodies falling from the WTC on 9/11 and incoming mortar shells in Bosnia I hope her good luck continues.  How was the briss?

#6 - What will you do differently than Obama to aid the economy?

#7 – Do you have to be in bed to lie straight?

#8 – You say tomayto I say tomahto. Is it SIS or ISIL? And what the Hell is the difference? Does it have something, anything, to do with the difference between radical Islamist terrorism, Radical Swedish Lutheran terrorism or, heaven forefend, radical Tea Party terrorism?

#9 – Are copies of the certified financial statements of the Clinton slush fund available without a court order?

#10 – What do you think they were talking about on the plane?

In anticipation of the courtesy of a quick reply, I remain

`

Kevin Smith

June 22, 2016

Loretta Lynch – Attorney General

Department of Justice

950 Pennsylvania Avenue

Washington, DC 20530-0001

RE: Love & Compassion in the War against redacted terrorism

Ms. Lynch,

Love & Compassion in the war against I*L*M*C terrorism? By Crikey, that’s so God Damn dumb it makes my hair hurt.

Did Love & Compassion overturn the Dred Scott decision?

Some of the men of the Irish Brigade, those “wrapped in their faded coats of Blue” who are still at Gettysburg, might disagree. Since they died on July 2, 1863 they can’t. [I have an ulterior motive in mentioning this. Should the President issue an Executive Order authorizing reparations for descendants of slaves I claim a carry forward tax credit from them and then to offset any tax liability that may accrue to me as my “fair share” of the settlement.]

Imagine Love & Compassion stopping the 1^st Alabama at Little Round Top. Imagine Joshua Chamberlain using his secret weapon, a 19^th century version of James Taylor chortling “You’ve Got a Friend” at the blood thirsty rebels. By the by, “Imagine” is certainly the worst song ever written in the 20^th century. Also, the 19^th & the 18^th. It’s too soon to add the 21^st to its laurels.

The Naval Aviators of Torpedo Squadron 8 attacked the Japanese Navy at Midway with water balloons and a capella renditions of “Amazing Grace”, right?

Didn’t Malcolm X tell his disciples that the doctrine of “by any means necessary” was to be their marching orders? Did that include them singing “Kumbaya”?

Did you eat a lot of lead paint when you were a child?

Scratch that.

Among the many benefits of being a modern American Liberal is that up is down, hot is cold, black and white are interchangeable, “eclectic indignation” rules, “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome” is the invisible coat of armor, and that you can say the most Homerically dumb things and expect that nobody will notice, right? After all, the “red line in the sand” and “you can keep your doctor” went past the American public at warp speed, right?

How about getting the good version of “Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow”, the one with kids of Walmart serfs and indentured servants wailing because they are hungry.

How about bean bag bullets for SWAT teams?

How about giving the demonstrably feral inner city youth of Chicago a quart of ice cream a day? Ice cream makes everybody feel warm and fuzzy and about themselves. Maybe they’ll stop shooting each other. Just kidding.

How about you stop pissing on my back and telling me it’s rain?

Kevin Smith

PS – On an upbeat note, I am enclosing my plan for closing the pokey at Gitmo. Get some powerful PA systems installed. Play continuous loops of Hillary Clinton cackling. Play continuous loops of Janet Yellen reading anything. Play continuous loops of Hillary Clinton barking like a bitch in heat. Play them backwards a la Abbey Road. In less than 6 hours they redacted terrorists will circumcise themselves and become 105% Hasidic Jews. They may even start to eat pork so they can give it up to adhere to kashrut. Case closed.

Then you can move on to the really big problems of teenage bullying cum obesity and the never ending heartbreak of psoriasis, particularly since they disproportionately affect women and minorities, many of whom are single moms with children in need of a good Ritalin program who cannot avail themselves of the benefits of Midnight Basketball because of aging infrastructure and a lack of public transportation.

To show you that whatever my sins might be misogyny ain’t one of them. I hereby name you Boobette of the season.

June 12, 2016

Helen Wolt

The Sun Sentinel

500 E. Broward Blvd

Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394

RE:  “County nonprofits awarded $1,100,000 by Walmart” – Some comments on your report on the transfer of money from the haves to the have-nots in today’s Sun Sentinel.

Ms. Wolt,

I enjoyed your news story on why the profit motive is not only good but that it is great and highly moral.

Thank God Walmart makes a lot of money. And thank God that a majority of shareholders of Walmart countenance the idea that is OK to take money that is theirs and give it to groups that they may oppose on religious, political, or moral grounds.

I guarantee you that with the exception of the people who work there no one is in favor of all the groups that the United Way gives 3^rd party money to. 

But here’s the money question.

If the choice is $15 an hour for new employees versus $50,000 for the United Jewish Community of Broward Food, presumptively non-trayf, Pantry which side would you come down on?

Kevin Smith

June 7, 2016

  I used to bring my children to Judge Smith’s courtroom, particularly when he was sending people to jail. They knew him better as Poppy.

Later on, I came across Alexander Bickel. I was hooked. I gave his books to at least 5 different lawyers. Sorry, Mike.

The segue from Bickel to Bork was deliciously simple.

Bork was a Sitting Federal Appellate court Judge. 90 minutes after the announcement of his nomination to the Supreme Court he was accused on the floor of the United States Senate of being a secret Nazi, a plague spreader, a dirty movie addict, a public misogynist, a seral cigar  smoker, and a degenerate poker player.

During his confirmation process it was revealed that he did some free-lance writing to earn some extra money. That he did this so that his cancer-laden wife could die a bit more gracefully and somewhat less painfully, a situation with which I am most familiar, did not stop the vitriolic billingsgate from being tsunamied on him. Modern American Liberals are highly skilled in using the escape hatch that “eclectic indignation” allows them. Simply put, if you are identified as a bad guy, with a bad guy being someone who doesn’t think that urinals should be destroyed, your ass is grass. It’s OK and commendable to pole-ax the “bad” guys”.

In the political arena, Judge Clarence Thomas, then a sitting Federal Appellate Court Judge, became a Justice on the Supreme Court for 2 reasons:

#1 – Senator Lard Kennedy, a toad who gave fat, drunken lecherous Irishmen a bad name, was in no position to criticize anybody’s sexual proclivities, be the real or imagined.

#2 – Judge Thomas told his persecutors – Senator Curly Biden, primus inter pares, no? – that if they were going to lynch him he wasn’t going to give them the rope. Senator Danforth of Missouri distinguished himself as an honorable man while Senator Moynihan of New York fell far, far short on that scale.

The point here is that Judges have always been criticized in this country.

Chief Justice Marshall and President Andrew Jackson were mortal enemies who regularly called each other out in a most vicious manner.

Franklin Roosevelt didn’t like it when the 9 member Supreme Court ruled against him. Why wait for the actuarial tables to help him he said, just add 6 members, all of whom would be appointed by him. I believe the term was “court packing”.

In 1988, while appearing in a Chapter 11 proceeding in the Southern District of New York Bankruptcy Court, the sitting Judge, Prudence B, Abram, a woman proud of the fact that hot water, shampoo, and her hair seldom met, would regularly bellyache in her court that she had to spend 10 hours in preparation for each hour in the court room. I was never good at math but that worked out to 43 hour days, 12 day weeks, and 46 day months.

In 1993, in my 6^th year on trial in the United States Tax Court, and thank God I have an appreciation of things absurd what with the courthouse being across the street from the DC’s largest homeless shelter, Judge Carlton Powell would refer to litigants in his court room  - the official term was “petitioners” – in less than civil terms. In a house keeping procedural manner he would ask “which rock did these people crawl out from under?” These people, American citizens all, were fighting for their financial lives. Why didn’t that get them a bit of judicial respect?

My attorneys turned their eyes and ears away from such sights and sounds because of one simple fact. The Bankruptcy and Tax Court practices are tight-knitted, exclusive enclaves. Pissing in other people’s soup is frowned on and discouraged. Failure to adhere to the rules can get you shunned. And that’s how the real world operates. 

Why shouldn’t Judges be criticized? If the non-Gringo Federal Judge in Indiana can’t be criticized why does the California Stanford swim team rape trial Judge need a police escort to get to and form work? The same people who are canonizing the Hoosier Judge want to draw and quarter the California Judge.

I am very proud of my time with Judge Carole Ferentz, a New Jersey State Superior Court Judge who sat in Newark.

I was ill served by counsel in a billing dispute that went to trial.

 I fired him and went pro se. I presented the newly found evidence to the New York State Appellate Court and had the trial Judge’s decision reversed. I brought that notice to Judge Ferentz again on a pro se basis. [I think it adds to the story that while I was wearing a custom made, monogrammed shirt with a Turnbull & Asser tie my Gucci loafers were in tatters.]

She actually began to froth at the mouth when I presented her with the New York document and the actual language from the Constitution, the one written in 1787. She seemed to be unaware of Article 4 Section 1 that said each state must recognize “the public acts, records, and judicial proceedings of every other state”. Since it seemed to be terra incognita to her I took the opportunity to thank James Madison for his work on the matter.

She took great delight in insulting people, lawyers, litigants, witnesses, and on one instance a bailiff, in her court room. She snarled at me that “what goes around comes around”. I took that as a threat that should I ever appear in her court room 

She was a nasty, vicious, bruja-like harridan who gave hecates a bad name.

Her ass, while not quite at steatyagonous proportions, would require 2 broomsticks, a gallon of Gorilla Glue, 5 yards of Duck Tape, and a dozen well placed industrial strength brads to get her air-borne.

“Free men still speak with free tongues”, right?

Let me add that I honored her by naming her the first

SMARMY BASTARD OF THE YEAR.

It is an award that has grown in stature over the years. She got hers the old fashioned way: She earned it.

The United States government takes tax dollars from its citizens and subsidizes art tours. One features a piece called “Piss Christ”. It is see-through container that is filled with pee. A crucifix is suspended in it. That a lot of Americans think that the Man on the Cross is 1/3^rd of the Blessed Trinity, and thus Divine is of no great import

If it is OK to criticize and belittle God why can’t this Zapata wanabee take a few shots for the team, the team being free speech?

If Judges can ask for campaign donations when they run run for the Black robe and gavel shouldn’t they have to disclose how they would rule on certain topics? We know what Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump will do in certain situations. Campaign donations are made to candidates who most resemble your views. Why should Judge elections be different? Should the Gods see fit to punish us further by making Hillary Clinton the President does anyone believe she will nominate a Judge who opposes Roe v Wade? Speaking of elections, what would be the reaction if a Republican woman candidate showed up at income inequality demonstration wearing a $13,000 Armani coat? Bernie Sanders hasn’t spent $13,000 on clothes in his entire life. Other than the fact that his wife is dressed by Omarina, the Queen of Plus Sizes, he would have been able to include her also. As the legendary Big Mike from Bayonne still says, “What a country! That’s why you never see anybody swimming to Cuba!” 

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

PS – Speaking of Judges who are less than honorable, retired New Jersey Appellate Court Judge Geoffrey Gaulkin still resists attempts to cleanse the blots from his escutcheon. It’s 30 year old, uncovered chit, one that is surely not enforceable in any court of law except the one whose motto says, “A promise made is a debt unpaid”. Move over Judge Ferentz. We may have another NJ Judicial Smarmy Bastard.

June 6, 2016

Mayor Harry Dressler

7285 NW 88^th Street

Tamarac, FL 33321

Mr. Mayor,

“What a putz.”

“Humans are directly responsible for

 the extinction of thousands of species.”

The Sun Sentinel

6/5/16

You

“Morons. I am surrounded by morons.”

The middle quote is from you. It concerns the shooting of a 450 pound gorilla who was about to tear apart a 6 year old boy. He probably wouldn’t have meant to but, after all, he was a 450 pound gorilla who never learned to play well with others, particularly those with whom he had no genetic connection. He was just doing what 450 pound gorillas do, after all. He does that because, bottom line you jack-ass, he’s a friggin’ ape. “Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly…” Harambe’s dance card for Lego play dates with kids and chess lessons has many open dates. One of the reasons for this is because, drum roll please, he doesn’t know he exists. “Extra mental existence” is an elitist DWEM idea that posits the extraordinary claim that knowing that there is existence outside of yourself is what separates man, you know what I’m saying, from the apes.

You chastise your fellow man for “the extinction of thousands of species”. Does that mean that you would be opposed to the man-made extinction of Zika bearing mosquitoes? I know that your typical modern American Liberal head up your ass Jeremiad forbids any thoughts other than those approved by your illuminati. What will happen if women, women infected with Zika, begin to deliver healthy babies all of whom have thimble-sized heads? 4^th & 5^th trimester abortions will soar but only if covered by Obamacare.

You give new meaning to the term Hobson’s Choice.

But wait. There’s more. You are like herpes, an affliction giving a new definition to the term “wretched excess”.

“Zoos for human entertainment should be abolished.”

You

I suggest one exception.

Why not jump-start the never quite arriving, Waiting for Godot Summer of Recovery, and build a zoo?

Let’s call it the Tamarac Zoo for Horses’ Asses.

Not only would you be its principal attraction but you would be its only attraction. An enclosure to include the imbecilic Broward County Board of Education and the equally embarrassing Broward County Commission would have to wait for the voters approving a bond issue.

My grandfather, the legendary Jack Smith, always marveled at the simple, observable, undeniable fact that there were more horses’ asses than there were horses’ heads. That ratio should always be 50/50. Damn “The Godfather” for messing up the perfect ratio!

One last movie reference.

“I made it, Ma. Top of the world!”

       Guinness is preparing a new edition. It will be named the Dressler Edition.

      There will be no written definitions in the chapter on boobs and ohmadahns.

Just your picture.

Kevin Smith

PS – What if an 18 foot python, a 14 foot gator, a pissed off black bear sow, and a Florida panther decide to see who rules the roost in front of City Hall? Will the police use hostage negotiators or, worse case scenario, rubber bullets and tranquilizer darts to show our solidarity with endangered predators? In this scenario the Florida panther, knowing that he is endangered, hoofs it back to the swamp. 

Harry! Extra credit. How do you spell TV? What color is an orange? Also, I say you couldn’t find your ass using both hands. Care to prove me wrong?

June 5, 2016

Gary Stein

The Sun Sentinel 

Big Stein, 

I am going to go out on a limb here. I may wind up where the regular buses don’t go. Maybe as far as when V.P. Curly Biden decided that not all Federal laws had to be obeyed. DOMA, remember? That prompted Big Boss Barack to say that “Maybe Joe got a bit out over his skis”. Here goes.

Are you Jewish?

If you are I would like you to answer but one question.

Don’t worry. It won’t be about whether your opposition to capital punishment would include Adolph Eichmann. 

What would you have done if Donald Trump had insisted on putting Cornel West and James Zogby on the Republican Platform committee?

C’mon. Fess up.  It’s emis truth time.

Regards to Little Stein and Boss Stein

KEVIN SMITH

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

June 5, 2016

Michael Mayo

The Sun Sentinel

Mr. Mayo,

“I’ve got pretty thick skin.” Wasserman-Schultz said

 at a campaign kick-off event last week.

“You just have to tune out the noise.”

The Sun Sentinel

Today

You

Some things are owed to the record. Always.

History tells us that the “fatal conceit” common to modern American Liberals and their philosophical forebears is that they know they are right. Further, anyone opposing the truth is not just wrong but is evil. That is why they have no problem in using force and intimidation to buttress their arguments.

[Exactly what did the lady wearing the Trump t-shirt in San Jose last Thursday do to suffer both verbal and physical abuse? If you say Trump started it you are using the Sophist’s argument known as tu quoque. It was fallacious when the Trivium debunked it. It still is. How about Mussolini was OK because Hitler was worse? Think “eclectic indignation”]

I suggest they she grew her thick skin after she sent Agent Thomas and Agent Mineva of the Florida Department of Law Enforcement to my house because of something I wrote. Let me repeat the money part of the previous sentence. “Something I wrote”

Does that qualify as both a “slippery slope” and a “chilling effect”?

I search in vain for a more tasteful synonym for “friggin” hypocrite” but none is to be found.

She claims to have 2 degrees in Political Science. Possibly the Florida School of Cosmetology granted them. How else could she be unaware of the 25 century old dictum?

“Free men speak with free tongues”

It would be akin to saying you love Bach but have never heard of a cello.

Oh wait a minute! Being a modern American Liberal means you never, ever have to say you are sorry.

Don’t Dump Debbie!

As long as she is in Congress I have a good idea of where she is. That way I can keep an eye on her.

KEVIN SMITH

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

PS –When the men with guns, badges, and the full majesty of the law left my house after the “good cop” & “bad cop” routine succeeded in scaring my wife I sent everything I wrote to or about her to Tom Fiedler, then the Big Boss Man of the Miami Herald. I promised my wife that if he found one threatening or obscene word I would apologize to her and never write to her again. I’m still writing.

June 4, 2016

Michelle Obama, she of the $4,000 – repeat - $4,000 a week raise, a raise that she got about 45 minutes after her husband, then a United States Senator, got her employer, the University of Chicago School of Medicine a $1,00,000 “earmark”. [“Earmarks” have replaced cash stuffed envelopes changing hands at midnight in deserted parking lots. Think quid and quo, with a pro owning the middle] She said yesterday that she “wakes up every day in a house built by slaves”.

Who says that “satire closes on Saturday night”? Not I. It may not be Swift but it will do ‘til something better comes along.

“The upturned neck awaits the ax” is a great line from a forgotten movie.

One of the criticisms tossed at your husband in 2008, perhaps “hurled violently” might be a better way of saying it, and one that left righteous Caucasians dumbfounded, was that “he had no slave blood”. Please, please don’t throw me into the briar patch reserved for racists but unless you subscribe to the Sanger/Lysenko School of Eugenics was a ginormously dumb thing to say.

On the other hand….

Would it be completely beyond the pale of the acceptable limits of political commentary to suggest that someone with your husband’s paternal DNA may have had a hand in gathering up some of those soon to be slaves? How, pray tell, did all those African-Africans get from the interior to the coast from whence they began the long journey to become African-Americans? Is it more than a coincidence that 6 countries in Africa, countries living under the lash of Islamic Sharia law, still allow slavery? #BringBackOurGirls is 2 years old. How is that working out?

I suggest that a trip back, say 3 generations from his paternal grandfather, might find an entrepreneur in the field of human transportation. A Masai/Kikuyu Uber forebear dude perhaps.  

Speaking of fathers, isn’t it about time we honor your father-in-law? He has one son living in the White House, a place where he can spit on his English colonial background by banning Churchill, and another son living in a mud hut in Kenya where he makes a living as a bum.

 Father of the Year? Hell no! Father of the Decade or nothing!

But I digress.

My father’s father had 2 uncles who came from Ballyglass, Galway, Ireland – before it was a Republic – to free the slaves. They joined the 69^th New York Regiment, a group of soldiers who came to be known as the Irish Brigade. Late in the afternoon of July 2, 1863 they marched into the Wheat Field at Gettysburg “line abreast”. One of them is still there “wrapped in his faded coat of Blue”. I hope he died quick and I hope he died clean like my wife’s uncle, Corporal Putnam,  did on Okinawa.

I seek no survivor’s benefits.

I ask only that if reparations for slavery come to pass that my portion of that bill is settled by using the carry forward tax loss caused by the death in combat of a relative. 20^th century probate lawyers may recall “flower bonds”.

Maybe a simple “thank you” should be included also. After all, it was the country of my forebears that first outlawed slavery. We did it 15 centuries ago. That’s a whole millennium and half of another one. That’s 1,500 years. Maybe somebody should tell the 1%ers who run Chad and Mali, inter alia, that slavery is an infamia.

Speaking of ironies…You remember that the Democratic Party was the one favoring slavery, don’t you? And that the New York Times called Lincoln a “baboon” when he ran for re-election in 1864? “Politically incorrect”? Don’t be silly! Even then modern American Liberals were able to defy gravity. It is an inconvenient truth for modern American Liberals but Lincoln’s 2^nd term was made possible when General Sherman, Uncle Billy to the soldiers he commanded, led a lot of White farm boys from Ohio, Indiana, and Illinois, doubtless most of whom were “bitter clingers”, into Atlanta in the fall of 1864.

Civil discourse? Probity? Fuhgedaboutit.

One more thing.

Why didn’t you send your daughters to any of the really, really fine public schools in Washington? The children of every other tenant in public housing in D.C. had/have no choice. Why should school choice be limited to the 1%ers?

I hear that you have been offered a job as a litigator in the D.C. public defender’s office. If you take it, remember Rumpole’s First Rule: “Never plead guilty”.

You go, girl!

Kevin Smith

PS – Here’s another thing you might be able to help me with. I was still living in New Jersey when I saw a Black woman in her ‘30s wearing a tee shirt in a super market that said “It’s a Black thing. You wouldn’t understand”. I saw her 3 or 4 times as we crisscrossed the aisles. Finally, I couldn’t resist. “You’re right. I don’t understand.” 30 years  later and I still don’t understand. Am I asking too much?

June 4, 2016

Michele Obama

The White House

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue

Washington, DC 20500

Mrs. Obama,

Encloses is a note I sent to some fellow travelers this morning. It’s about your distress in living in a house “built by slaves”.

I just noticed that the address – The White House – probably caused some agida also. Sorry about that. Remember please that Mr. H. dumpty, noted wordsmith and political commentator said “those words mean exactly what I want them to mean. No more, no less.”

Is it true that the DC Public Defender’s office has offered you a job as a litigator? Good luck if you take it. Remember the wise words of Horace Rumpole: “Never plead guilty”

Kevin Smith

June 4, 2016

If “beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy” the Battle of Midway is proof that God loved us and wanted us to survive.

1942 proved that the Russians had more men that the Germans had ammunition. If the Germans had gotten through Stalingrad their next stops would have been India and China. When talking of hypotheticals, of tap dancing in the cosmic ballroom of “what ifs”, picture the Wehrmacht linking up with the Japanese. Since the Germans didn’t we need keep that thought in nightmare image only.

The American Navy, in 1942, had greatest year in naval History. Ever. I know, I know. Salamis, Lepanto, and Trafalgar are out there.

Those 3 battles, in chronological order, saved Western Civilization from being strangled in its crib, saved Christendom from radical Islamic terrorists – it didn’t begin at 9/11, and saved what we now know as representative Democracy. They were filled with feats of valor, of things heroic, and of things still sung about today but they were fought in less than 24 total hours and the battles could be watched from a single ship.

In April, 1942 the American Navy sailed 4,000 miles across the pacific and bombed Tokyo.

In June, 1942 the American Navy ambushed and sank 4 Japanese carriers.

[In “The Face of Battle”’ John Keegan writes, “At 10:25 Admiral Nagumo was poised to win the greatest naval battle of the 20^th century.” By 10:30 he had lost not only his 4 carrier strike force but the ability to impose his will wherever his ships would take him.

One Naval aviator, Wade McCluskey, will stand for all of them that day. When he got to where he thought the Japanese navy would be they were not to be found. Through “skill and cunning” he found them and sank them. All of them. 

In a 6 week period – part of October, all of November, part of December – the United States Navy faced down the Japanese Navy. It filled a stretch of ocean that came to be known as Iron Bottom Sound. Both sides contributed to its rolls.

As a stand-in for all the Blue Jackets let Admiral “Ching” Lee be its voice. From the bridge of the USS Washington he sent a fleet order. “Stand aside. I am coming through.” He did and when he was finished the Japanese navy left forever.

It began with Midway.

June 4, 1942

“Where do we find such men?”

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

PS – Caitlin Hanson, my oldest Texas Lady, was graduated from Lovejoy High School in Allen, TX last Saturday. The loudest and longest applause was for the 4 seniors who announced their intentions to enlist in the armed forces of the United States on Monday.

“Almighty Father, strong to save,

Whose arm has bound the endless wave,

Who bidd’st the mighty ocean deep

Its own appointed limits keep:

O hear us when we cry to thee

For those in peril on the sea.”

May 24, 2016

Tim Canova, Esq.

Box 22-1868

Hollywood, FL 33022-1868

Mr. Canova, 

I tried to think of you as an avenging Saint George riding forward on a valiant steed to slay the dragon in her lair.

Alas, as in most things political, I was disappointed.

Be advised that the snarling dragon, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, is meaner than 2 pounds of cat shit stuck behind the water heater for 10 days. Plus, if she feels threatened, she will send men with badges and guns to your house to “chat” with you. I know this because she sent 2 agents from the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, men with badges, guns, and the full majesty of the law, to my house because of something I wrote about her. “Because of something I wrote”? In America? With an amendment that begins with the majestic words “Congress shall make no law…”? In a country that uses to tax payer money to subsidize a play called Corpus Cristi? Its premise is that Christ was crucified because of a lovers’ quarrel with Judas Iscariot. The envelope of free speech was wide enough to include that but not enough to include my gentle chastisements of her as a public person 

Yes.

When she did this to me she was a Florida Senator. Now that she’s in DC she may send Seal Team 6 after you.

Having said that I suggest you heed the recommendation of Mayor Rahm Emanuel of Chicago, and if it weren’t for Bagdad it would be called the murder capitol of the world, and “never bring a knife to a gun fight”.

I guess it depends on whose Gore is being oxed.

Go get her. Just keep an eye on your “six”.

But that’s not why I write.

May I say that modern American Liberals never let you down?  

Witness your astonishing ability to send both inconvenient facts and truths down the memory hole so fast that its carbon foot print is measured by Hercules in leagues. It is place “from which no visitor ever returns”.

I heard you say on TV that the Federal Reserve financed the infrastructure boom of the 1930s.

Buckle up, you boob. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.

#1 – 6 years into the New Deal things, things a real as your boot, things that could be measured, were worse than when it started. A strong case can be made for the Depression ending when the Boeing B-17 plant in Wichita went to 7 day a week, 24 hours a day production.

[That presents us with an uncomfortable fact. 3 times in 48 years, the years being 1916, 1949, and 1964 the 3 most Progressive Presidents of the 20^th century – Do I have to add that they were all Democrats? – promise that they would not send American boys to fight in foreign wars. Honest. You could look it up.]

#2 – Not only did the Fed not accommodate the imagined infrastructure boom of the ‘30s they acted against it. The money supply shrunk by 25% squelching any recovery and horrifying the great Lord Keynes. Empirical evidence tells me that your knowledge of business, of what makes the dog hunt, of what role “animal spirits” play in “job creation” is limited to the mantras of “Occupy Wall Street” and the never ending Holy Grail-like quest for the horizon-like goal of “fairness”. Aisle stretchers, environmentally sound, organically grown buckets to carry steam, unicorn ranches, aisle stretchers, vegan undrowned polar bears, raising taxes to “grow” the economy, and bull shit as a business plan is proof that you have zero knowledge of how the world works, it being a world where “stones are hard and water is wet”.

Meanwhile, Good Luck fighting Debbie, Debbie. 

Be sure to put your boot in first because she, as the prototypical modern American Liberal, the paradigmatic template against which all pretenders are mentioned, will be coming after you with poison snakes, poison gas, lies, damn lies, and worst of all, statistics.

Viva Midnight Basketball!

Kevin Smith

PS – If modern American Liberals hector us about keeping the government out of our bed rooms why is it OK to let them into our bathrooms? 

May 25, 1945

“Where do we find such men”?

The line is from the last scene of The Bridges of Toko-Ri

Of course the Naval Aviator is dead.

Of course he has a wife and children

Of course the Admiral sits stoically.

Of course the ship sails on.

I have been writing since 1997 about the death of Corporal Leonard Putnam

“who died in the service of his country on May 25, 1945 in the Pacific area”

He was 42 year old  piano salesman form Jersey City, NJ who had the upper right quadrant of his torso blown off by a Japanese mortar shell. The “Pacific area” mentioned in the Presidential scroll was Okinawa.

He was my wife Amy’s great uncle. He and his wife Millie had no children. As long as I write about him “he lives in a way that humbles the undertakings of most men”.

When he was killed the United States and the United Kingdom were taking 1,000 casualties a day.

“Soldier, rest! Thy warfare o’er,

Sleep the sleep that needs no breaking;

….

Huntsman, rest! Thy chase is done,

Think not of the rising sun,

For at dawning to assail ye,

Here no bugles sound reveille.”

Paul Fussell was an American infantry officer in Europe in the spring of 1945. He got what he thought was a “$1,000,000 wound”. It knocked him down, it made him bleed, it did not maim him, it got him a few months in a hospital in England, and, most importantly, it got him  a ticket home. As an officer he got decent accommodations and good chow. Only the ship didn’t go home. It went through the Panama Canal and was heading straight to Okinawa, a place made peaceful by Corporal Leonard Putnam. It was to be the forward staging area for Operation Olympic Coronet, the invasion of Japan. The blood calculus was estimated at 1,000,000 American casualties. 1,000,000.

In the middle of August, 1945 the ship he was on made a 180 degree turn in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The Captain got on the PA system and said that the war was over. Something called the Atomic Bomb had ended it.

Bushido bullshit notwithstanding, it came down, as it always does, to how many Corporal Putnams were willing to go “once more into the breach” and end it. It also helps if you have a bigger gun. Perhaps if August 6, 1945 and August 9, 1945 were just 2 more war days a nephew of Lieutenant Fussell would be writing a remembrance of him. They weren’t. Because they weren’t he got to write a book titled “Thank God for the Atomic Bomb”.

I write this several days before the President of the United States speaks at Hiroshima. If he apologizes, however artfully, he will be pissing on Corporal Putnam’s grave.

The childless piano salesman “stands in the unbroken line of patriots who have dared to die that freedom might live, and grow, and increase its blessings. Freedom lives and through it he lives – in a way that humbles the undertakings of most men”

His life must be remembered; his death honored: his memory preserved.

God Bless Corporal Putnam!

A grateful nation thanks him

Raise a glass

He came home on his shield.

May 25, 2016

Kevin Smith

WAQRRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

PS – Six decades after the movie was made, Grace Kelly, the widow of Lieutenant Brubaker, is still spectacular.

May 19, 2016

Agent Mineva. Agent Thomas. Call your office!

Debbie, Debbie, she of the smooth tresses and dulcet toned harangues, is now the head of the Democratic Party. She was also the mean little Nazi wannabe who sent you to my house because of something I wrote. It is important to note that she was a Florida state Senator and fell comfortably inside the tent of criticism that the New York Times/Sullivan case that the Supreme Court decided. Talk about stretching the envelope! For a chick who says she has 2 degrees in Political Science she sure is ignorant about political speech. Apparently the words “Congress shall make no law…” don’t mean much to modern American Liberals. OOPS I forgot to mention that you were agents of the FDLE, the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, and carried badges, guns, and the full majesty of the law when you came knocking on my door because of something I wrote.

Looking back, I can say that I enjoyed the visit. My wife didn’t but you know how the ladies are. She knew that if I had kept my pen sheathed men with badges and guns would not have come to our house because of something I wrote.

The good cop/bad cop routine, a technique well known to anyone, particularly community organizers and agitators who were born and raised in Bayonne, N.J., was well received. The Manichean nature of the alternating carrot and stick casual interrogation was a thing of joy to participate in.

As an aside, I sent copies of every letter I ever sent to her to the only media mogul I knew in Florida. He ran a big daily paper. I told him that if he found but one threatening word I would stop writing to or about her. He did not. That is why I am able to pursue my avocation of pelting her with flaming bags of cat scat, all of which she greatly deserves. Usually my gentle rebukes were caused when she revealed the one quality common to all modern American Liberals. 

You need but scratch the surface to find that they are closeted Nazis.

I suppose if you can get financing for a play about an Argentinean hooker or 1500 people drowning you might be able to bring this plot to Broadway.

A 74 year old wing nut, “moon bat”, a guy who believes in the tooth fairy, a guy who never got a pay check until he was 40 years old, a guy who went to Moscow on his honeymoon, is running for President. His opponent is Hillary Clinton. Her candidacy has been compared, rather unfavorably I quickly add, to that of Senator Vance Hartke and Governor Robert Meyner. She cackles like a Rhode Island Red trying to avoid the guy with the hatchet. If she’s not doing that she is barking like a junk yard dog. [Where in the name of the furbish lousewort is PETA when you really need them?] Plus, if her ass gets any fatter she’ll be the first passenger flying freight on Air Force One. Shades of Oliver Hardy, Alfred Hitchcock, and in a bow to Affirmative Action, Aunt Jemima. Either that or she’ll have to be Gorilla Glued to her Twin Broomstick Witch Mobile when she goes to Walmart. I’ll bet you didn’t know that she worked for them.

Bernie is a Socialist. We are not certain whether his model is the stern Bulgarian/East German type, the more humanistic Cuban/Venezuelan edition, or the uber Progressive Zimbabwean prototype.

History tells us that there are three problems common to all of them.

Breakfast

Lunch

Dinner

Here is another inconvenient truth about Socialism.

It doesn’t work.

It never has worked.

It never will work.

There are some exceptions. The followers of Mother Teresa and the members of Seal Team 6 seem to have learned to alter human nature and work for a greater good. 

It breaks down, repeatedly and predictably, every time it has been tried. “The triumph of hope over experience” is the non-carbon foot printing, polar bear undrowning fuel on which it feeds.

“Speed the Plow”, “Force the Spring”, “Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow”, “It’s For The Children, “Imagine”, and a new one, “You’ve Got a Friend”, brought to us by Jay Forbes Kerry, the Secretary of State are the bullshit mantras that cause Bernie Believers to go over the top and charge, Somme-like, straight into 20 miles of machine guns disguised as History.

His dopey bastard Bolshie believers know that this time it will be different, that this time it will work. And the saps fall for it every time

I recall, like finger nails on the blackboard, the current chief poltroon telling an audience of addled asses, a collection of ohmadahns so vast that Guinness should have been notified that “We are the people we have been waiting for”. He said that just before he told them that he would “calm the sea and cool the earth’. 

Icarus had nothing on this world class faker. In fact, the Gods wet their togas as if on command.

That’s why Debbie Debbie needs you.

Her job is to get Hillary into the White House as President. She already has the interns lined up to give her a bit of Oval Office gobble.

She has to get Bernie Sanders to go to an environmentally sensitive Kibbutz/Ashram/Commune – New Harmony comes to mind – and raise unicorns. Also, his vital work on 4 crops a year rainbow stew/balloon juice clinging vines can continue. He could help Ben & Jerry work on their no fat tofu, kale, and diatomaceous earth sorbet. 

In her heart she would like you to take him to the 13^th floor of the world HQ of Solyndra and give him his complimentary flying lesson. OK OK I’ll take that back. Give him a basic tune up followed by a wood shampoo. “basic tune up”? “wood shampoo”? Send a SASE.

  Do something, anything.

Just get this cantankerous SOB out of the race. We owe it to Hillary. Tell him we’ll ban Adam Smith. Tell him that Milton Friedman and William F. Buckley, Jr go down the memory hole. Tell him that Keynes gets his face on a stamp. Tell him we’ll dig up Joe McCarthy so he can kill him. Tell him he’ll be in charge of the next war on poverty. Tell him that we won’t keep score in the next Super Bowl. Tell him we’ll blow up the New York Stock Exchange. Tell him we’ll outlaw urinals. Forget about photo ID voting laws. We’ll have manatee suffrage. We’ll apologize to the Carthaginians for excessive force. We’ll give Arizona to the Apaches and South Dakota to the Sioux. The Fugawis and the Mohicans get Las Vegas.  Tell him we’ll have universal Midnight Basketball.

Just make sure he doesn’t promise free beer.

If he does we’ll all be out of work.

Meanwhile, I want you to become familiar with the word “defenestration”.

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET