Lysenko & Lud

August 18, 2013
Lysenko & Lud – You can’t have one without the other was today’s pre-dawn stab at the prefect bumper sticker.
Then I read about Terry McAuliffe, a man for whom the term “smarmy bastard” was coined. I immediately thought of Clark Clifford. You may remember him by his moniker “Washington Insider”. Beyond the Potomac that’s a synonym for “fixer”.
When Clifford died, Alva Chapman, Big Boss man at the Miami Herald, eulogized him in a manner most fulsome. Chapman’s extraordinary example of Clifford’s oleaginous “fixing” magic for the Herald was his ability to find the right Judge to overturn a Federal regulatory decision that would have cost the paper, and Chapman, millions of dollars. Joe Six Pack, the idealized blue collar citizen, the Potemkin voter of modern American Liberalism, can always find somebody to put the fix in when the Feds line him up in their crosshairs, right?
But I digress,
Terry McAuliffe was/is the paradigmatic template for all the current and future Kardashians. No one but no one knows what they do. There can be no doubt, none whatsoever, that whatever they do, they do it very well and very lucratively.
One of Clifford’s great career moves was going to college and law school in Missouri.
Craig Livingstone went from being the fetcher of sparkling water, tofu wafers, and domestic whey for the Clinton’92 campaign to being the appointments secretary in the friggin’ White House. One of the highlights in the colorful History of Congressional hearings – think Fast & Furious, Bush’s secret trip to Paris to meet with the Iranians in 1980, Meryl Streep hectoring us on the toxic qualities of Alar, Tea Pot dome, Hiss/Chambers, the half-wit with the dog mask crying about the Cleveland Browns moving to Baltimore, hearings like that, remember? – was Craig Livingstone being cross examined by Congressman Tom Lontos [D-CA]
The early years of Clinton 1 were marked by the dull monotony of B minus scandals. Arson or bestiality was never suspected. Just small peccadilloes that Uncle Screwtape always told his nephew Wormwood would lead to big sins.
Anyway, Congressman Lontos told Craig Livingstone on national TV that his best career move would be to commit suicide. Honest Injun. As Casey Stengel would say, “You could look it up”. There is one constant thing about modern American Liberals: They never let you down.
Clifford’s ticket to the big time was punched when he would cover all of President Truman’s uncovered poker markers. He parlayed that into becoming Secretary of Defense. His helping the Herald became a walkover. It began with the Missouri connection.

Then he wrote his biography.
In it he called President Reagan “an amiable dunce”.
Then he became Chairman of the Board of the Bank of Credit and Commerce International, AKA BCCI. The President of BCCI was married to Wonder Woman. Only an excess of modern American Liberal hubris, hubris that tells you that you are ten feet tall, bulletproof, able to leap tall buildings, and a great singer would prevent you from saying, “Of course I trust you Mom. Cut the cards anyway.”
The only thing that bank didn’t steal was the August humidity. Why do you think Congress gets out of town faster than a used car salesman with one faulty title too many on his charge sheet?
Clifford’s defense of “Elephant? What elephant?” was followed quickly by “I am a moron”.
That got him in front of a Committee under oath.
As a former officer and director of a public company there are certain documents that you must sign. The annual report, the proxy, and the 10K inter alia. I knew, within an odd lot, who the big shareholders were, and how many shares each owned.
Clifford testified that he did not know that the Duke of Earl owned almost 40% of the outstanding common stock. It would be easier to believe that the twenty five story building you own only has one floor and an organic farm on its roof.
Congressman Dick Armey [R-TX] quoted the witness’s description of Reagan as “an amiable dunce”. He asked him how he would characterize his own actions. 3rd graders called to the Principal’s office have looked happier and surer of themselves. “There was no there, there”
Now comes Terry McAuliffe to the arena. Large dollars, important friends, a hazy past indicating something sub rosa – Does the Great Gatsby come to mind? It should.
People with big billfolds like to hang out with pols. They are not necessarily looking for tips to make them more money but they won’t turn one down. They are looking for markers, chits, IOUs of any sort, signed by powerful people.
They become the grease, the magic potion that “speeds the plow”.
Green Tech Auto was created out of whole cloth by McAuliffe. His friends unknowingly helped him. “It’s good to be King”. If you can’t be King it’s good to have your picture taken with the King, particularly if you are asking other of the King;s subjects for money.
McAuliffe was the Chairman of the Board of Green Tech Auto. It was to be a car that would run on ruminant eructations, solar flares, and high tides. Although it is not yet flat line it is circling the drain. Its hoped for breakthroughs in making a universal Hobin pin and a perpetually lubricated gender-free Frammis are not yet ready for prime time.
McAuliffe wants to be Governor of Virginia.
Green Tech Auto will not produce 1,000,000 cars this year.
McAuliffe said “Just because I was the Chairman and the largest stockholder doesn’t mean I know what was going on”.
The prior reference to “Elephant? What elephant”? was from Jimmy Durante. He is tip-toeing out of a circus tent with 15 feet of chain on around the neck of a 10 foot tall elephant. A policeman says, “Where are you going with that elephant”?
“Elephant”? says the great Schnazoola.
“1,000,000 cars”? says McAuliffe.
“What elephant”?
“What 1,000,000 cars”?
McAuliffe says he quietly resigned as Chairman of the Board of Green Tech Auto last December. The resignation of the Chairman of the Board of a public company is done neither quietly, or as he also said, “verbally”. It is a matter most material to any public company. Failure to disclose is considered to be fraudulent on its face. The market can never have too much information. The Securities & Exchange Commission is conducting an investigation. One can only hope that the investigation methods used by the Internal Revenue Service are not those used here.
A possible defense would be that he suffers from terminal “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”.
Clark Clifford, Craig Livingstone, Terry McAuliffe – pushing the edge of the envelope, the one containing American exceptionalism – out there with only “a shoeshine and a smile”.
What a country!
Big Mike was right.
“That’s why you never see anybody swimming to Cuba,

Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET