August 9, 2013
Councilman Nick Mosby
City Hall #513
100 N. Holiday Street
Baltimore, MD 21202

RE: Identity theft alert!

Councilman Mosby,

I was going to send you this alert via FedEx but the long awaited Summer of Recovery has not yet arrived for me. I hope that, for a change, the USPS, the template for the administration of Obamacare, will get this to you before Labor Day.

Some moron, a real jackass, a person with less sense then a box of hammers, a dummy worthy of Guinness Book mention, is on the radio down here using your name to sponsor a boycott of Florida because the jury, and God Damn them, acquitted George Zimmerman, the notorious White Hispanic.

I say moron, jackass, dummy, nit-wit, inter alia, because it’s easy to say 
“Don’t Go To Florida”. In 1990 I took the pledge to never set foot in Sun City. I felt good until the O.J Simpson verdict for keeping that. I read your website bio and anyone who can sponsor legislation asking the citizens to pick up one piece of garbage a day is OK in my book. I am not sure what the good people of Baltimore are to do once they get their quotidian flotsam and/or jetsam but I’m sure you’ll them them.

If you think it is as moral imperative to avoid Florida would not Logic dictate that Florida not be allowed to come to Baltimore?

After you ban the Ravens and the Orioles form playing in Florida, after you ban all professional teams from Florida for playing in Baltimore you must go further.

#1 – Begin with orange juice. Forbid the importation, distribution, sale, and consumption of any and all citrus products in Baltimore. No exceptions.

#2 – Disney Productions, in all its forms, is verboten. .Your website says you have two young daughters. Start with their rooms. If it’s from Walt it is gone. In fact, why not have a ritual burning of all things Disney on the steps of City Hall?

#3 – Speaking of your website, it exhorts me to vote for you on Tuesday, November 8, 2011. Honest. Were you reelected or are the polls still open? I was born and raised in Hudson County, NJ. The rule that modern American Liberals use for winning elections came from there. Where do you think Mayor Daley learned how to put the fix in in 1960? Just keep counting until you win. Simple enough. It worked for Senator Wyden and Senator Franken. It should be a layup for you

#4 – If a bunch of rich White Republicans, doubtless egged on by the Koch Brothers and fueled by the Right Wing vitriol of Fox News, were to hire Stevie Wonder for a concert in Omaha and then fly him to Tampa and not tell him would that be a hate crime?

Silly me!

There is no imposter.

It’s you.

One good thing to come out of this is that you have won a major award.

I hereby declare you

HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK





KEVIN SMITH