Michael Mayo, The Sun-Sentinel

April 28, 2009

Michael Mayo
The Sun-Sentinel
200 East Las Olas Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida 33316

RE: “Legislative Madness”- The title of your column and why, just maybe, we should love it.

Mr. Mayo,

It’s a given that “no man’s property is safe when the legislature is in session”.

It is serendipitous that today is the anniversary of the death of one of the heroes of modern American Liberals in the 1920s and 1930s. Mussolini was shot and strung up this day. And, yes, there is a connection.

“The Senate approved higher tuition at state universities.”

Is there something wrong with that? Would it not be Logical to expect that the costs of running a university be paid for by those who use and benefit from it?

If you are opposed to government raising prices to reflect rising costs what do you think of next week’s postal rate hike?

If you are opposed to passing on to citizens the increase in costs of running said entity then you must be opposed to any increases in the Federal Income Tax rate. Logically, and there’s that word again, you could have no other choice.

Which Tea Party did you attend?

You comment snarkily about the proposed Christ specialty license plate. You say that Christ’s head “drooped”. That was the purpose of the Romans. You didn’t die from the trauma of spikes being driven into your hands and feet. You died of suffocation.

It is probably more than you wanted to know about crucifixion but, a la Saul Alinsky, I never waste a good teaching moment.

#1 – Saint Paul, nee Saul, avoided crucifixion by saying “Sum Romanus”. Since he was citizen of Rome he took Plan B. He had his head cut off.

#2 – The question of how to deal with pirates was addressed by Julius Caesar. When he was a teenager he was captured and enslaved by pirates. He told them if they didn’t let him go he would escape, hunt them down, and crucify them. They didn’t; he did. We can still learn from the Romans.

Why not have plates with Buddha on them? Why not have plates with Osama bin Laden on them? Why not have plates with Rosie O’Donnell and Barney Frank on them? The additional revenue can be used to promote manatee suffrage.

“We might soon see higher rates on property insurance,
the last thing struggling homeowners need during a recession.”

Is that a closeted Supply-Sider I see struggling to be free? Listen closely. I’ll write slowly.

It’s wrong to raise tuition in a recession.

It’s wrong to raise insurance premiums in a recession.

Why is it right to raise taxes in a recession?

A legislature that resembles a casting call for “A Confederacy of Dunces” is a good thing for Florida. As long as they are doing shtick it is one day less they can be legislating. If you put them in charge of the beach they would import sand in a year. Regardless of what they did before they got to Tallahassee they become 10 feet tall and bulletproof about the time they are sworn in. Then they become so dumb they couldn’t find their asses using both hands.

Didn’t il Duce and his goomah get the trains to run on time? Why they wound up hanging upside down from a lamp post is still a mystery to fans of good government.

“How sad of all the things that men endure
how few laws or kings can cause or cure.”

Here’s a revenue enhancer. How about a tax on les merdes de Quebec? The vote would be unanimous.