First Draft

October 23, 2012
Inaugural address – draft 1
“I do.

Thank you Mr. Chief Justice.

By the time I get back to the White House I expect to have several executive orders ready to sign.

#1 – Since my predecessor has picked and chosen which Federal laws to enforce I will direct the Justice Department – and doesn’t the place smell better knowing that Holder is gone? Yes, it does. – and the Solicitor General not, repeat, not to defend furbish louseworts or snail darters when the other side of the law suit involves the only truly endangered species in the country. Of course, that is man. “Man shall not only endure; he will prevail” will be the motto of this administration.

#2 – It shouldn’t take more than 3 sentences to approve the Keystone pipeline. Consider it done.

#3 – Willful disobedience of any part of Obamacare on religious grounds will be fully supported by this Government.

#4 – If you don’t like coal turn off your A/C/. The math is simple. It is simple enough even for a mush brained modern American Liberal to understand. 50%, one half if you will, of the electricity produced in this country comes from burning coal. 50% of that power produces A/C. I am told by confidential sources that hospitals, particularly those with a high percentage of patients eligible for review by the soon to be installed “Death Panels”, shall be required to turn off the A/C in the afternoon. This stops now.

#5 – Solar panels and windmills, having failed the common sense test of the marketplace, will now have to make it on their own. They will make it or not make it with no assistance form the perpetually lactating Federal mammary. Whatever happens, the IV of taxpayers’ money has ended.

#6 – We have Homeric amounts of natural gas. It is now at an amount that is essentially incalculable. The author of this speech tells me that when he was in the oil & gas business his main source of transport in and around Crossroads, NM in 1981 was a big old pickup powered by natural gas. It shall be the policy of this government to advance the cause of natural gas driven vehicles by giving preference to said vehicles when ordering same for use by the Federal government.

#7 – Thank you and God Bless America.”