October 31, 2015

Becky Quick

CNBC, AKA modern American Liberal Knocking Shoppe

Dear Becky, 

Just a note to say Goodbye. Forever.

It was bad enough that you and your fellow traveling conspirators, all of whom could be called Hillary ass kissers, laid down like enterprising strumpets at a truck stop on Interstate 80 during a blizzard. That was to be expected.

What was unexpected was the Jimmy Durante moment when you all got caught planting big wet ones on her burgeoning Rubenesque arse. Since I too am calorically challenged I have nothing but great respect and admiration for someone who flaunts her Axe handle and a half wide keester in public view. There’s enough back there that you and your 2 co-conspirators could give it a tongue bath and never bump into each other.

Do you remember the Durante movie when he is sneaking an elephant out of the circus tent in the middle of the night? He is tip-toeing Babar on the end of a 15 foot rope, telling him to shush, when a cop says “What are you doing with that elephant”? “Elephant? What elephant”? sez the Great Schnoozaloh.

Plato said that there were some professions in which it is impossible to be honorable. Every time I listen to a TV shrieking shrew I am reminded of how smart a DWEM he was. Beware of Greeks speaking obvious truths.

Did I begin this note by saying “modern American Liberal journalists”? Yes, I did. Did I repeat myself? Yes, I did.

I am switching my AM TV time to Bloomberg.

Kevin Smith

PS – Ditch the make-up that was put on with a trowel. It makes you look like you are auditioning for “The Happy Hooker”. Upon further review, you are perfect for the role.