June 2, 2017

Mayor Philip Levine

One Convention Center Drive

Miami Beach, FL 33139

RE: Just two more questions, maybe 3, maybe more

Mayor Levine,

Shades of Peter, the Big Fisherman!

I saw you on TV last night thrice deny the question of “How will the US sending the $3,000,000,000 that Obama promised to the wowsers, bounders, grifters, scalawags, and poltroons of the Paris Accord lower the waters on the gentle streets of Miami Beach? 

Asked 3 times; not answered 3 times.

For the 4^th and last time, how will it mitigate the rising seas that threaten to inundate South Beach? Your modern American Liberalism gives you the perfect cover for not answering. Why muss the waters, so to speak, by confusing the issue with inconvenient facts?

BTB, how will you cope with dropping property values, particularly water front properties? 

You mention how proud you are of the pumps you use to lower the rising seas as they cascade on to your streets. [Didn’t Bahama Salama, as Fatso Kennedy used to call him, promise to “cool the earth and calm the seas”? Wasn’t that a “red line in the sand” promise? You don’t have to answer because it may incriminate you.] 

I have asked you, also 3 times, where does the water you pump go? It can’t go East because it would come right back on to Lincoln Road. If you pump it North, the 1%ers at Indian Creek would have your guts for garters. If you pump it South Joe’s Stone Crab will take you off their pol comp list. If you pump it West the EPA will be on you for piscatorial insensitivity like the KKK robes that Senator Robert “Sheets” Byrd [D-WV], the Cicero of the Senate, used to wear.

 Where does the water go?

Kevin Smith