October 24, 2018 Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz

October 24, 2018

Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz

777 Corporate Parkway

Sunrise, FL 33325

Dearest Darling Debbie,

I did not – repeat – did not try to blow up your office. Even though Barack Obama reminded us not to bring a knife to a gun fight, even though Eric Holder says it’s OK to kick political opponents, even though nut case Maxine Waters – Does she still have a driver’s license? - demands that we get in the faces of Republicans in restaurants I did not mail plastique to your office.

All of my letters to you are chock-a-block filled with, so far, irrefutable facts and inconvenient truths on many matters. They also include a large soupcon of humor, some subtle and some not so subtle satire, and a Swift/Beckett/Seinfeld sense of absurdity.

How do I know my letters are effective? Simple. You sent the cops to my house because of something I wrote. They didn’t arrest me for a simple reason. There were no 

grounds. One of the investigating detectives said he and the rest of the squad enjoyed my letters, some of which he said were laugh out loud funny.

It brings me back to a simple question. You claim to have 2 degrees in Political Science. I say “claim” because you seem to have missed the part covering Greece and Rome. It is empirically self-evident that the work that the DWEMs did in both places, the arduous task, a task of near Star Trek difficulty; i.e., going where no man has ever gone before to meld order and freedom, is one that you as a modern American Liberal. Regard as anathema and verboten. Nat Hentoff, America’s leading Liberal Pro-Lifer, wrote a book titled “Free Speech For Me But Not For Me”. 

I want you to lead a long life. Wide Bottomed Hillary may want you to run interference for Chelsea just like you did for her with Bolshie Bernie. Plus, science may yet solve the problem of straightening your hair

Pop quiz: Which Right-Wing nut shot Congressman Scaliese? Extra credit if you can name the Right-Wing nut who shot Bobby Kennedy. Tie breaker is the name of the Right-Wing nut who shot John Kennedy.

Kevin Smith