Thoughts on Joe the Plumber

October 19, 2008

Dear Mr. X,

“The only thing wrong with capitalism is capitalists; the only thing wrong with socialism is socialism.”

I now have enough birthdays to qualify as an old curmudgeon. Alas, the quote is not mine but rather that of another old curmudgeon, Winston Churchill.

Senator Bambi, Barack the Merciful, the “Messiah” as Louie Louie Farrakhan called him, was pressing the flesh on a rope line 4 days ago. There he meets a guy who asks him about taxes. Senator Barack Hussein Obama, in an unscripted moment, answers truthfully that he is “going to spread the wealth around”. The unspoken but accepted premise is that he is going to take from a few to give to the many.

“Any public policy that involves robbing Peter
to pay Paul will always have Paul’s support.”
Paul

This aspiring Peter, Joe the Plumber, said the equivalent of “Once the people realize that they can vote themselves free money it will be the end of the Republic”. For this he has been covered with billingsgate, pilloried by his lessers, and mocked by people who wouldn’t know which end of a steel snake was the business end.

“He doesn’t have a plumber’s license” – Neither does any of the undocumented workers, AKA illegal aliens, who the mush brained, hard edged modern American Liberals media toads love soooo much. Maybe he’s a decent, hard working guy who wants to support his family. His family is in Ohio, not Tegucigalpa. Shouldn’t we support Joe the Plumber for having the same dreams as the wet backs who only want to share in the good world of los gringos?

“He has tax liens from the IRS” – So do I. As I explained yesterday mine were comfortably into 7 figures. That’s not counting the one for about $80,000 that the IRS issued against me in 1992. I was surprised to find out, as were my wife and children, that I had a machine tool company in Brooklyn, that I was divorced, and that I had 3 children there. I did not; I was not; I do not. Just a mistake they said. I had an IRS collection agent who was determined to see how long she could go without washing her hair. She suggested that I buy lottery tickets. When she took umbrage because I told her that the stone had no more blood she said I was “badgertating” her. Joe the Plumber said that he had no idea about the IRS lien. I stand with Joe.

“What does Joe know”? – I guessing he may not be up to par on the four source theory of Pentateuch composition. Like most sensible Americans he doesn’t much care about decomposition, Women’s’ Studies, and drowning polar bears. I will bet large dollars that he knows there are 50 states, not “57 or 58”. I will double the bet and say that he knows the Penn State mascot is a “Nittany Lion” and not a “Nittaly Lion”. I’ll bet the ranch that he knows that two terms in the White House equals 8 years and not 10. Joe the Plumber knows that it’s “Lefty loosey, righty tighty” when using a wrench. He also know that a “pint’s a pound the world round”. Plumbers learn that by carrying water. How much water do you think Barack Hussein Obama or Curley Biden have carried as part of a job?

[In 1963 I did construction work in Huejutla, Mexico with a group sponsored by the Archdiocese of Newark. One of my jobs was to buggylug – and if you have to ask what buggylug means you have never done any of it and hereby permanently disqualified from prattling on about how blue your collar is – water about 100 yards up a small hill. The accepted way was the Chinese method. That was a yoke to be worn over my shoulders with cans filled with water on each end. It didn’t take me but the better part of two trips to change that. It involved threading a pipe and connecting some sections of pipe to get the water the 100 yards up the hill. I then had to get the village priest, an astonishing man named Padre Arturo Lona, to bless the pump and the pipe and calm some ruffled feathers. No more trips up that hill. Funny thing, The further away in time I get from then the higher the hill gets and the heavier the water gets. That was an example of change I could believe in.]

Joe the Plumber asked a question that suggested not only was the Emperor not wearing any clothes but that he thought, based on what his glibly thuggish suck ups in the media spewed out, that no one was entitled to even think such thoughts let alone ask such questions.

One media serpent said, based on Joe the Plumber’s bald head, that he probably was a Nazi.

Using the same Logic James Carville is Hitler’s son. He is, isn’t he? Did Senator Joseph Curley “I have a higher IQ than you” Biden spot weld those Chia Pet hair plugs to his skull, a skull as bald as an 8 ball, so that people wouldn’t suspect that he was Herman Goering’s brother? Is that why Senator Carl Levin [D-MI], despite the perfect cover of everybody thinking he’s Jewish, starts his comb over in his left arm pit because he’s afraid that people will find out that his uncle was Reinhardt Heydrich? If Joe the Plumber whistles Valkyrie would we have to treat him the same as we treated Ezra Pound? Hey, I didn’t start this.

[You’re my confidential connection to the media in general and the puckeredup, pursedup Boston den of vipers in particular. Is there any truth to the rumor that the Boston Globe HQ will be renovated to the highest Green standards – goats on the roof to dispose of the garbage in an environmentally sensitive manner, stuff like that - and then converted into Section 8 Housing? Wouldn’t that be a monumentally priapristic moment for Barney Frank?]

What they are really saying is that Joe the Plumber is – you know what I’m saying? – is that Joe the Plumber is…is…gauche. He’s not with the program. You ask what the program is.

Forget what the platform said. The program changes only on the outer edges. It was begun on a tennis court in France. It first flew black flags. It then flew red flags. It would have no problem flying a plaid flag. It always knew where the Yellow Brick road was. It is, as T.S. Eliot said, “the search for a system so perfect that no one will have to be good”. Some of its proponents were unconscious “useful idiots”, as Lenin called them.. Henry Wallace comes to mind. Some were conscious. Alger Hiss and the Rosenbergs are names that must be kept in the forefront. There is a straight line between handing over atomic secrets to someone with half a Jello label and trying to blow up the Pentagon.

Fairness, the enshrinement of all the silly feel good crack pot clap trap ideas of John Rawls, 4th, 5th, and 6th trimester abortions, one to one student/teacher ratios, a military that shoots to wound, punishing oil companies, higher SAT scores, security for the family farmer, lower food costs for the undeserving poor, God?, Never heard of him. compassionate judges, higher prices when Granny’s estate sells her house, cheaper housing for the working poor, free drugs for geezers, foreign nations telling us how good we are, more money for the arts, lower insurance premiums, an end to Global Warming, Kumbayaiousness in the land, free mass transit, the Presidential Medal of Freedom for Bill Ayers, lower taxes for people who don’t pay taxes, Joe Hill on a stamp, a never ending gaggle of golden geese, equality in an unequal world…Well you have to leave something for the second term of Barack the Beneficent.

The Democratic Party, and the modern American Liberals who are its communicants, loves mankind. It’s guys like Joe the Plumber that they hate. They just can’t hate him. He may be the last free man in Ohio. They have to destroy him.




Your pal,


KS