They're Back!

December 29, 2009

Rock Groove lichen, Dwarf Wedge mussel, Comal Springs Drypoid beetle, Delta smelt, Delhi fly, Snail darter, and my favorite, the Furbish lousewort.
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Last week a Muslim wingnut tried to blow up a Delta jet with 300 passengers inbound to Detroit from Kafiristan. His 72 infidel virgins would have had a purchase price of 300 people. A good deal using the new 3rd world math.

The beast outside the gates, the one with the awful eyes and the unsmiling face, is upon us again.

I wait in vain for a terrorist to be named Slojanowski or Nunzio. Let me know when a jet is hijacked by someone from Finland. Is there anyone from Chile other than a garden variety bank robber on the “Don’t Fly” list?

Beginning with the Munich Olympics in 1972 straight through to Saturday last there is a single thread common to all these despicable acts. Whether it was embassies, war ships, office buildings, airplanes, or Jewish reporters soon to have their heads cut off the sound common to all these things was… Allah Akbar!

I read today that the Rock Groove lichen, the Dwarf Wedge mussel, and the Comal Springs Drypoid beetle have been added to the Endangered Species list. We have been told that Carbon Dioxide is a poison gas. With regards to the former has anyone else noticed that Jabberwocky is the new official language and that the boobies are running the hatch? With regards to the latter can we expect an official ukase from one of the czars limiting exhaling?

We have given Swift - Jonathan, not Taylor - a new dimension. We have allowed the dunces to rule us.

I am in Texas with my 3 granddaughters. I am 61 years older than the youngest. I have been “in disfavor with fortune and men’s eyes” for so long that the estate tax changes will encompass no effect on me at all. The only legacy I can be certain of leaving them is the one I got at birth.

There is much to be learned from Buddhism, from the Hindus and the Shintos. Let whatever Vegans can add to the Western Canon be added to it. Flat Earthers and Truthers should be encouraged to put something into the pot if they can.

Is there a Buddhist Homer? Is there an Antigone waiting to be discovered? Was there a Hindu Cicero of whom I am unaware? Is there a Dante shaped by the people and customs of the Tigris and the Euphrates? How about a Bach? How about a cello? If Allah is so Akbar why would a few cartoons bother him?

If I mention leisure suits, due process, Zippo lighters, canned food for dogs an will have d cats, polio vaccine, the Green Bay Packer sweep, short selling, or walking on the moon I run the risk of being called an elitist.

The line from Jerusalem to Athens to Rome to London to America is both plain and straight and true. Here I enter the obligatory footnote that “Men are not angels” and say that bad things happened. Having said that can someone tell me who else has done what “we” have done? Can someone tell me what other system has lifted so many people to undreamed of heights such as “we” have done?

Rights that were mine at birth, rights that were “a gift from beyond the stars”, these things I want to make sure that Caitlin, Caroline, and Julia will have and can pass on to their grandchildren.

We care more about flora, fauna, and “whether or not the Constable has blundered” then facing down the evil men who want to kill us, who want to destroy our way of life, and who want to salt our fields.

The time for turning the other cheek is gone.

The time for weasel words like balance, fairness, open mindedness and its bitch spawn, multi-culturalism, is gone.

Nolo me tangere cum impecunis


Mecca delenda est.




Kevin Smith