Congressgal Debbie Wasserman-Schultz

October 23, 2010

Congressgal Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
10100 Pembroke Pines Blvd.
Pembroke Pines, FL 33026

RE: Hell hath no fury like a modern American Liberal chick mocked.

My dear Congresslady,

Why do modern American Liberal gals become like Nazis when they read something unflattering about themselves?

I know whereof I speak.

September 18, 2001. A day that will live, perhaps not in infamy, etched in my treasure chest of cherished memories. It is a day guaranteed to be a first round selection to the Hallowed Hall of Fame of Hypocrisy That was the day that you sent 2 Florida Department of Law Enforcement Agents, Agent Thomas and Agent Mineva, to my house because you didn’t like something I wrote.

So there is no misunderstanding these men had badges. That means that they had the force of law with them. They also had guns. Each had a deadly dull black ugly Glock 40. Depending on the configuration each could have had as many as 15 cartridges in them. 30 bullets for something I wrote.

One of them, Agent Mineva, actually asked me what my particular political beliefs were. He also told me, using his best grim visaged Bad Cop look, that I should stop writing to you.

So much for “Congress shall make no law…”

[As an aside, your resume says that you have 2 degrees in Political Science from the University of Florida. I am at a loss to understand how you could have gotten them without ever stumbling upon the History of Political Speech. Here’s a hint: Start at the agora. Your actions say that you know nothing of the History of Political Speech. To say that you know anything about it is like saying that you play the cello and have never heard of Bach. Shame on you! When I get around to writing “Free Speech for Dummies” I’ll dedicate it to you.]

You “did not accuse West of personally writing anything derogatory toward women, but she said his association with the magazine, “Wheels on the Road”, was bad enough”. Oy! Haven’t we heard that before? Didn’t Wisconsin Senator Joseph McCarthy do that in the 1950s? “Guilt by Association” was a badge of honor worn by Com-Symps, Fellow Travelers, and useful idiots everywhere. [Full disclosure demands that I tell you that his first Senate lawyer was Robert F. Kennedy.] If Lillian Hellman could get her randy knickers in a knot over guilt by association why can you do it? Why not start a 21st century HUAC? It may be painful for mALs to remember but HUAC was a creature of an overwhelmingly Democratic House.

You say that another article in the magazine called you a yenta. I have street knowledge of what a yenta is but I can’t find the Yiddish term for hypocritical harridan. Further, you say you are distressed by the part in the article that asks readers to imagine having sexual relations with you. It may serve to ease your distress to learn that I have conducted an informal poll and can find no one who can imagine having any kind of sexual relations with you.

If, as you say, “there is no place in Congress for disgusting images and language…” it falls to me to break some bad news. Congressman Barney Frank [D-MA], a man who proudly proclaims that he favors Freddy’s fanny, ran a whore house in his cellar. Are you telling us that that is acceptable behavior for a member of Congress as long as he doesn’t write about it?

The magazine, “Wheels on the Road”, probably will not compete with Modern Age or The New Criterion. It took 30 years for Ulysses – not the one by Tennyson but, rather, the one by Joyce – to be read legally in this country. Grace Metalious, John O’Hara, John Cheever, Mark Twain, John Updike, Philip Roth, inter alia, are American authors who trafficked in “disgusting images and language”. Should they be banned from the Library of Congress?

With the possible exceptions of “Wheels on the Road” producing Lord Barack’s real birth certificate or pictures of Nancy Pelosi, the Queen of Face Lifts, peeing through her navel, you have given them more publicity then they could have gotten anyway else.

“Eclectic indignation” is the intellectual mother’s milk of modern American Liberal politics. It enables you to be in two places at the same time. It enables you to lie and tell the truth at the same time. It enables you to be for something and against it at the same time.

How many chiropractors do you have on call? Your back must be killing you.



Kevin Smith