Gary Stein The Sun-Sentinel

September 28, 2011
Gary Stein
The Sun-Sentinel

RE: “Booing Buffoons” – Some comments on your column in today’s Sun-Sentinel about why the knuckle dragging GOP should be…should be…ashamed?

Big Stein,

God’s Holy Trousers but I just loooove it when a card carrying modern American Liberal goes into high dudgeon. Knotted knickers occur just before you have to reach for your handy drool cup when you tell us about the latest outrages perpetrated by those knuckle dragging poltroons, all of whom are Tea Party members

You take members of the audience at the most recent GOP “debate” to task for expressing their displeasure at things you yearn for. That list includes, but is not limited to, inter alia, the following: The right of 2 consenting GI adults to bugger each other – Would rank determine the role of the pitcher and/or the catcher unless it is a Tango Threesome in the PDA portion of this leisure time activity? If so, shouldn’t there be a law about that also? – hard by the stoning pit in Afghanistan without regard to its effect on the rest of the platoon shall not be infringed. After all “men in barricks ain’t plaster saints”. The other one, the right of killers t, y’know what I’m sayin’, to kill again still needs some work.

Let me give a long delayed shout out to then Senator Albert Arnold Gore, Jr. for being the first politician to tell us about Governor Dukakis’s furlough program. That’s the one that let convicted rapist/killer Willie Horton out of prison where he – Can you believe this? – raped and killed again. You do remember the New York Democratic primary in 1988, don’t you?

Speaking of debates…Do you remember what Governor Dukakis said when he was asked what his reaction would be if his wife and daughter were raped and murdered? The only acceptable answer, even for a less than Alpha male, would be “I would track the bastards down and kill them.” Instead, Wee Mikey chose to channel Father Flanagan. “Was he abused as a child?” “Did drugs or alcohol have a part in it?” “Were his actions caused by the racist society he was raised in?” Finally, in a moment of truth seldom expressed publically by a modern American Liberal, “There is no such thing as a bad boy.”

Nobody booed. The whispered word “putz” swept around the room and the nation.

If, as you say, the “booing buffoons at the GOP debate should be ashamed” what about the Minnesota legislator – A Democrat, damnit – who began a dialogue with another legislator by calling him a “Motherfucker”?

Whatever else calling someone a “motherfucker” is it is not as bad as the Wisconsin legislator – another Democrat, damnit! – beginning his dialogue with a fellow legislator, doubtless a Republican, with “You are fucking dead”.

What about the Gandhi-like utterances of the less than irenic thug, Junior Hoffa? Although it is “settled science” it’s always good to validate Mendel. I search in vain for “Let’s take those sons of bitches out” in any of the Federalist Papers. Considering the fact that his father was a pioneer in the recycling business – he so loved his 1959 Ford that he decided he wanted to be buried in it before it and he went to Gillette to make a whole batch of razor blades – I expected kinder and gentler things from him.

Watching a “debate” is like watching NASCAR. Nobody cares how fast the car is going. The audience just wants to see it hit the wall. Thus, when Gerald Ford freed the Poles in 1976, Democrats went tumescent. In 2008, when Hillary Clinton began cackling in a way that would unclog arteries, Republicans began to think Big Bill was OK to step out on her. The NASCAR and the Debate rule would apply to bull fights also. No one cares how skillful the hombre in the girly man suit is. All they want to see is Manolete redux.

Campaigning is tough, particularly in a country that has been doing it as long and as viciously as we have.

The race between Brian Williams asking a dumb ass question and Big Stein having his sensitivities offended is never a pretty sight.

I hope the Republic will survive.




Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET