October 7, 2011 FAMOUS THINGS THAT HAPPENED TODAY

October 7, 2011
FAMOUS THINGS THAT HAPPENED TODAY

#1 – The good guys beat the bad guys at Lepanto.
#2 – I was born.
#3 – Let us raise a TE DEUM for both.

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Such is my love for potatoes – boiled, mashed, roasted, fried, baked, raw - that I will tolerate any spelling to support my favorite tuber. Thus, it was no great concern to me when Vice President Quayle stumbled over an extra “e”. That it caused modern American Liberals to become visibly tumescent had an unintended benefit: The creation of the spelling police.

Yesterday I heard the President of the United States obfuscatorily answer a question about “Operation Fast and Furious”.

As near as I can figure it out “Fast and Furious” was a program designed to see how long it would take a gun to make the trip from Washington, DC to Huejutla, Mexico and then to East Los Angeles. Things of a logistical nature were tested. Did FedEx positively, absolutely deliver overnight? How many BARs or mortars would it take before arousing suspicion? A Sidewinder missile can be fired by one person but can it be classified as a personal weapon? Should napalm be shipped in a Haz-Mat container? Most importantly, what should be done if a Federal Law Enforcement Agent gets killed with a gun, a gun that began its odyssey in the mail room not 20 yards from the office of Attorney General, Eric Holder.

Holder has done 2 notable things in his professional life. #1 – As a big time Clinton ass kisser he provided cover for the bought and paid for pardon of Marc Rich on the last day of the glorious reign of Bill and Hillary. Speaking of that pardon if you remember the way Mrs. Rich blew the saxophone there can be no doubt how she got Big Bill’s attention. Monica taught all her followers well.

Since the reptiles occupying the cistern of modern American Liberal journalism have made the weight of New Jersey Governor Christie fair game can I say retroactively that Hillary Clinton’s steatyagonous role model was Secretary of State Madeline Albright? Hillary never reached the legendary “ax handle and a half wide” status by which Arkansas measures female arses. That must be taken as a testament to Spandex, 2 fat sucking lamprey eels, and having Rosie O’Donnell chase her around the Lincoln bedroom. If memory serves, Janet Reno – “Janny” to her friends, as cold as the month she was named after - was no slouch in the pound department either. You weren’t going to find her hanging out in the petite department at Burdine’s. Speaking of bountiful booties, FLOTUS is about one week of extra mac & cheese away from having “a bum you could set a ashtray on”. #2 – Holder told us in his capacity as Attorney General that White folk still don’t much like Black folk. He also told us that as long as the club wielding thugs were Black it was OK for them to intimidate White voters.

What POTUS said brought back memories of Jimmy Durante trying to sneak a 10 foot tall elephant past a policeman. “What are you doing with that elephant?” asks the startled copper. “Elephant? What elephant?” answers the great Schnozola.

President B. O. said that he had never heard of “Fast and Furious” until he heard Rush Limbaugh mention it. He said he called his BFF, the Attorney General, and said “Wazzupwidis?” Holder said “Say what”. The President then said if he had heard of it he would have “forbaded” it.

Too many potatoes – potatos? – Whatever – might qualify as “forbaded fruit”, no?

At the same press conference he answered a question about Solyndra and the 587,000,000 American taxpayer dollars, dollars that we borrowed from the Chinese .It has gone to the “undiscovered country” of Chapter X1. The Chinese will get their money back because they hold a first mortgage on Nantucket Island. The American people will get it in the neck. Maybe we can borrow money from Greece.

The President then said, “We knew there was risk.”

Gulp.

Where does it say in the Constitution that the government of the United States is allowed to be in the risk taking business? How does the Government measure the risk-reward ratio? Dr. Johnson wrote of “the potentiality of growing rich beyond the dreams of avarice”. Men regularly “risk it all on one turn of pitch and toss”. If they win society benefits. Having won they hire people to help them keep what they have. Then they hire people to help them get more. There is a penalty for failing. In a world where “stones are hard and water is wet” when you fail you go the back of the line and start over. It is in the nature of man to see what is beyond the horizon. All any government can do is slow the column of progress. There is no penalty to be paid by the government because Solyndra failed. After all, $587,000,000 is less than $2 per person. If you exclude the non-tax paying portion it is still less than $4 per person. If it had succeeded it we could, maybe, perhaps, have saved drowning polar bears. The baby seals may not have benefited but that’s the price you have to pay when Ned Lud becomes your God.

That’s the price paid when “The Gods of the Copybook Ledgers” are ignored.

I have a play want to bring to Broadway.

Its plot includes putting an absolute dunderhead, a man with no experience save for “running his mouth” and getting his wife a $4,000 – four thousand dollars American – a week raise in exchange for getting her employer a $1,000,000 “earmark”, in charge of America. Also, it was said that his “sharply creased trousers” would serve us well when he got to the Oval Office.

What he has done is to give horses’ asses all over the world a bad name.

If Broadway can have a hit musical about an Argentinean hooker why can’t it have one about a morospoph ohmadan who has his finger on the nuclear trigger? Maybe Homer Simpson could play Curly Biden.

Nah. Who would believe it?

Besides, I don’t want to spoil my birthday.



KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET