July 14, 2014
Jac VerSteeg
The Sun Sentinel
500 E Broward Blvd
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394

RE: What’s wrong with those rat bastard Republicans? Maybe they should only have half a vote. Some comments on your unlinkable column of 7/13/14 in the Sun Sentinel.

Mr. VerSteeg,

Utah
Utah?
“Utah!”

It is empirically self-evident that UTAH is a 4 letter word. It is not yet as vile or pernicious as BUSH but it is early in your screed.

Utah has a set of exams that Florida will rent to test its students.

[I have been in Florida since 1996. I am still trying to figure out why the History teacher, the biology teacher, or the diversity and cultural sensitivity teacher isn’t held to the same high, unforgiving standards as the football coach. Speaking of teachers…why is a bad teacher paid as much as a good teacher? For that matter why is a bad teacher paid anything at all?]

“Utah” is filled with gun nuts, birthers, “bitter clingers”, knuckle dragging, homophobic Climate Change denying yokels who knew right from the start that “Midnight Basketball” was just plain dumb. In other words if Utah didn’t exist modern American Liberals would have to invent it lest their slambang, banshee-like caterwaulings have no negative examples to lambaste.

I believe that an overwhelming majority of Utahns know, unlike the boob in the Oval Office – Does that make me a racist? – that there are 50 states in the Union. For those in doubt they need but count the stars in the flag. They also know that while there is an Austrian school of economics, while some Alps are absolutely Austrian and some deserts are very Viennese there is no, contrary to the President’s belief, Austrian-English dictionary.





“…why would anyone want to vote for President Jeb”?

3 reasons:

#1- He is an honorable man of great character and you should know but probably don’t that Madison said “Character is all” and a DWEM said that “Character is destiny”.
#2 - He ain’t Hillary.
#3 - If the country feels a compelling need to have a Redskin in the White House what better way to do it than by electing Jeb Bush? Unlike Smarmy Senator Princess SummerFallWinterWarren, the despicable bastard from Massachusetts, his wife is the real thing. Doubtless, her forebears shook their fists at Cortez. And she will never ever be confused with Katherine Hepburn or Meryl Streep.

Is pi different in Utah? Has the subjunctive reached Salt Lake City? Are Edmund Burke and James Madison verboten in the Beehive State? Would Ophelia find the nunneries in Utah to be different from those in her native land?


Sincerely,

From a proud Global Warmer





Kevin Smith