October 7, 2014
Mitchell Berger, Esq
350 E. Las Olas Blvd #1000
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301

RE: Happy birthday!

Mr. Berger,

Sunday last, the Sun Sentinel, a newspaper not quite dedicated enough to the noble cause of undrowning polar bears to turn off all of its A/Cs, wrote that the most powerful hurricane to strike the United States happened in 1935. It also told us that 3,100 people died in a hurricane that struck Cuba in 1931.

That they both happened in a decade that was not afflicted with the twin boogey men of Global Warming and/or Global Cooling is, at once, worthy of note and proof of nothing. Please note that while I am sorely tempted to surrender to the siren calls of tautologies and circular reasoning I will avoid them the way that baloney avoids the grinder.

It is important, indeed it is owed to the ledger, to note that the 1930s – [“a low, dishonest decade”, if we are to believe Auden] was a decade where modern American Liberals were enamored of Mussolini and enthralled by the eugenics and “herd culling” of Margaret Sanger. It must be noted, like a big old turd popping up in the punch bowl, that Hitler was also.

Among other things of note in the 1930s…

The Democrats at both ends of Pennsylvania Avenue conspired to pass the Davis-Bacon Act, the most anti-Black Federal legislation of the 20th century.

In 1936, Poppa Joe Kennedy, and if America has to have a Corsair class why not him as its paradigmatic template, created a trust for his youngest son. Even then he knew that Young Lard would never be able to provide for himself. It has passed unopened and unaudited to his children. Talk about the 1% taking care of their own.

Would it be impolitic of me to point out that some of the dedicated modern American Liberals in the Democratic Party, ‘liberals in a hurry”, people who had no God but Stalin, were busily preparing to betray their country? I’ll take that risk.

One of the forgotten lessons of the History of the 1930s is that by any measurable standard the economy was worse in 1939 than it was in 1933. Honest. Look it up.

All hail “shovel ready jobs” and the never ending “Summer of Recovery”. Everything old is new again.
The purpose of the above is to set the tone for a gathering of this century’s edition of “The Sons of Liberty” in a well-known public house to celebrate my birthday. It is more than a coincidence that it also celebrates the defeat of the bad guys – feral Muslim thugs – by the good guys – fierce defenders of Western Civilization – at Lepanto. Red meat, red wine, and brown whisky will be consumed in copious amounts.
Crab grass consommé, endive and groats confit, and tofu flambé are expressly forbidden. The same for all light beer. Anyone daring to complain about the wonders of fracking will be turned over to the tender mercies of the resident Master of Bastinado for intense sensitivity training.

There is a possibility that some contrabundo cigaros will be destroyed by fire, one by one, in an environmentally sensitive manner

I am bound for Texas to see my ladies. It is good to bathe from time to time in the invigorating waters found in Koch Brothers country. When I return I shall take up the cudgels with renewed vigor. Modern American Liberals, particularly those in the public arena, deserve to be struck regularly, like gongs.

Having recently disposed of the last of my extensive cashmere collection I am in no need of material things for my birthday. I ask one thing that you and you alone can give.

Please, please get rid of that big, gas guzzling, furbish lousewort destroying car you drive. The only vehicles that get worse gas mileage are launched from a Nimitz class aircraft carrier.

I leave you with 2 thoughts from Jefferson. That’s Jefferson from Virginia, not Jefferson the dry cleaner.

“A free people claim their rights from the laws of Nature
and Nature’s God, and not as a gift from the chief magistrate.”

“In questions of power, then, let no more be heard of confidence
man, but let him be bound down from mischief by the chains of
The Constitution.”


From a proud Global Warmer



KS


PS – Your firm has stopped handling all real estate transactions involving waterfront property because of rising sea levels. Congratulations.