May 10, 2015

Mitchell Berger, Esq.

350 E Las Olas Blvd #1000

Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301

RE: Mite auxilium!

Mr. Berger,

Here it is, Mother’s Day and things are both askew and awry or, worse, both.

#1 – 6 states have snow on the ground. New England ski slopes are up and running…in May.

#2 – Erupting volcanoes are here, there, and everywhere.

  #3 – Polar bears are still dying leading to a surplus of those cute baby seals.

#4 – Will your wife try to get Cuba to go vegan?

#5 – The head WOG from Saudi Arabia just told President B. O. to bugger off.

#6 – Is this year’s Summer of Recovery on schedule?

#7 – Is Roger Clinton in Gitmo?

#8 – If not showing Muhammad cartoons is a sign of respect for Muslim Sharia fans should we hang homosexuals and stone women as a sign of our good intentions?

#9 – Because of rising sea-levels you have stopped handling water front real estate transactions, haven’t you?

What caused these things to   happen?

A – The Koch Brothers?

B – The Bush family, particularly George the Younger?

C – fracking?

D – Mean spirited people who don’t like manatees and who think Hillary Clinton, with a ass that Oliver Hardy would envy, couldn’t lie straight in bed?

E – Rush Limbaugh and Pam Geller?

F – All of the above?

G – Some of the above?

H – None of the above…just  kidding!

I am enclosing my plans for the 4^th of July. I’d like you to come. Regrets only.

Kevin Smith