December 3, 2017

Representative Kristin Jacobs

4800 W. Copans Road

Coconut Creek, FL 33063

Ms. Jacobs,

It is painfully obvious that the experimental stem cell treatment, the one that was trying to get your IQ over the ambient temperature, hasn’t worked. I am loath to pile on when you say something so egregiously dumb – think spiking an injured baby seal in the end zone – so I will spare you the much-needed lecture on the Theory of Nullification.

Nullification was the theory posited by John C. Calhoun that was proved wrong at Appomattox in April, 1865.

You not only – think flogging a dead horse – do CPR on it but you are attempting to expand it exponentially. [“Exponentially”? Send a SASE] 

Welcome to the world of Sanctuary Swamps!

I’m from New Jersey.

You can call everything north or south of Alligator Alley anything you want. Everglades has a nice euphonic ring to it. [“Euphonic”? Send a SASE] In Jersey, it would go by its proper name: Swamp.

You congratulate one state official for disobeying another state official, with the latter having jurisdiction over the former. It is not quite a Thomas More moment [Thomas More? Send a SASE] But it is yet one more example of the smarmy modern American Liberal contempt for the Rule of Law.

The not-quite Thoreau “Why aren’t you in jail, Ralph?” moment – [“Thoreau/Ralph/jail” Send a SASE] – is all about issuing drilling permits in the aforementioned swamp.

Full disclosure requires me to tell you that I fracked my first well in January, 1974.

Logic would dictate that if you are opposed to drilling you must therefore be opposed to the so-called benefits of drilling. Logic would dictate [Logic? For a modern American Liberal? Send a big SASE] that you must do the following:

#1 – Turn off all the A/Cs you control

#2 – Ban the use of cars for all public employees.

#3 – Ban all plastics, particularly in hospitals.

#4 – Ban all bovine, porcine, corvine, and equine eructations.

#5 – Manatee suffrage. Immediately

Jeezus Hiatch Keerist but you are a boob.

Kevin Smith